stevo running diary: the greatest non-political commercial ever ...

"We've been together since way back when.
And sometimes?  I never want to see you again!
But I want you to know,
That after all these years?
You're still the one, I want whispering in my ear!

You're still the one, I wanna talk to in bed!
Still the one, that turns my head!
We're still having fun, and you're still the one!"

-- "Still the One" by Orleans.

---------------------------------------------------------

"A thirty-something woman and businessman happen upon the same cab during rush hour.  During the ride, she notices he's with Fidelity.  He then answers a question that's been nagging her for years."

That, peoples and peepettes, is the description for the video, of my favorite non-political commercial of all time.  The Fidelity "Taxi" ad from the early 2000s that, quite frankly, is a first ballot Hall of Fame advertisement.  How this thing won no awards, I have no idea.  I don't use the phrase often, but dammit, this ad not winning the Ad of the Year, Decade, and Century?  (tony bruno voice) That's an outrage!

It's one minute of pure, comedic gold.  It has everything.  Laugh out loud funny?  Yes.  Straight up racism?  Oh yeah.  Unflinching, unapologetic sexism?  (sarah palin voice) You betcha!  Directly teaches -- not implies; teaches! -- that black women have no intelligence, and that they need a rich white dude to handle their money for them, because they're too stupid to figure it out themselves?  Of course!

Because this ad is so incredibly offensive to anyone with an ounce of intelligence ... I love it.  It's given rise to catch phrases with some of my close friends.  Anytime -- and I mean anytime -- there's a lull in the conversation, all the Voice of Reason has to do is drop "it's called a rollover", and we'll both bust up laughing, sometimes crying from laughing so hard.  Anytime someone suggests an idea we all agree with, someone will bust out the "why not?", and bring the room down.

This ad is so amazing, so incredible ... that it is NOT available on Youtube!  I know -- I went searching for it today.  I literally spent five hours trying to find this thing ... and well, good things come to those who wait.

Here then, for today's post, is a running diary of THE greatest non-political ad, in television history.

Ladies and gentlemen, peoples and peepettes, I give you* ...



The Fidelity Investments "Taxi" commercial!

(*: I am not sure if you have to register with TVSpots.tv to view this video or not.  If you do, they offer a sixty day trial membership, no credit card required.  Or you can contact me, and I'll send you my login info, to view the ad.  Trust me -- you WANT to watch this video.)

* 0:01: we meet the first of our two stars, a "30 something" black businesswoman, standing on a busy Manhattan street as rush hour begins.  She is nicely dressed, attractive, and even carrying what appears to be a Wall Street Journal in her hand, held above her head (presumably to get a cab driver's attention).

* 0:06: she is 0 for 3 at this point, in flagging a cab.  Racist cabbies, refusing to stop for a clearly distressed black woman in need of a cab.  This?  Depending on your sense of humor, is either the least racist moment in this ad ... or the least racist moment in this ad.

* 0:07: and our fourth racist snub in this commercial, and we're not even seven seconds in -- an obviously successful white businessman, clearly her senior, swoops in and attempts to steal the cab she had flagged down.  (judge judy voice) That is outrageous behavior sir*!  Outrageous behavior!

(*: I dare you to not laugh out loud, at the clip I just linked.  Come on folks, lighten up.  A 300 lb chick breaking a toilet!  How can you NOT laugh at that?)

* 0:08: she lays down the law!  "Excuse me sir, excuse me -- THAT'S MY CAB!"  If she'd thrown "beyatch" in to close the phrase, I'd be laughing even more than I already am.

* 0:10: caught with his hand in the cookie jar, the white businessman hems and haws, "look it, I'm sorry, uuh ..." but -- but! -- he never stops trying to steal the cab!  He's like that person at Oak Park come December 24th, when you've been waiting for 35 minutes for a parking spot, one finally opens up, and he comes in and steals it from you.  The fact that it's a white business dude screwing over a black lady, just adds to the comedy.  (And is indisputably racist moment #5 ... and we're only 10 seconds in.)

* 0:11: nuh-huh!  Girl, you did not just do that.

* 0:12: "Are you going downtown?  Because I'm going downtown.  Come on, let's share the cab!"  The porn connotations in that stretch of dialogue are just off the freaking charts.  (joe biden voice) Folks!  He made a porn reference!  A three letter word: porn!

Seriously though, let's just think this through logically.  The guy has just tried to steal this gal's taxi, so clearly, he has no morals to speak of.  She has never met this guy before, doesn't know him from Adam, and now, she's offering to share a cab with him?  This has a "very special episode of Law and Order: SVU" written all over it!

* 0:14: the first of the two unforgettable catch phrases.  "Why not?"  Exactly!  Why not?  Whitey's getting what he wants, at black chick's expense to boot!  He's saving a solid $50, by getting what he wants!  (I haven't been to New York since my grandma died, but it looks like they're clearly in midtown, and if they're headed "downtown" (aka the financial district), they're gonna be shelling out a decent amount of cash.

Mr. Vice President, would you like to weigh in at the quarter pole mark of this ad?  (joe biden voice) Folks! Where was Reverend Sharpton when this ad came out?  Where was Reverend Jackson?  Where were the race baiters?  A three letter word: race!

Thank you, Mr. Vice President*.

And now, back to the running diary.

(*: sorry folks, but until I get tired of mocking the Vice President's stupidity, it's getting run into the ground, again, and again, and again.  (joe biden voice) Folks!  He likes to mock me!  A three letter word: mock!)

* 0:17: this clearly, is not going to be a friendly cab ride.  You see them each getting in on a separate side of the cab, in a split screen.  Why, you ask, do I notice this?  Because whitey entered next to the curb, which means ... he sent black chick out into oncoming traffic, at the height of rush hour, in order to get in!  This means one of three things: (a) he cares nothing for his (now) co-rider's safety, (b) he's a pompous ass, or (c) oh yeah -- he was trying to steal the cab!  Again!  That's ... awesome!

* 0:20: the lovely five seconds of filler time, probably mandated by NYC filming laws.  Because when I think Midtown, I think "cab actually moving at something close to the speed limit, lusciously accented in the various store windows near Columbus Square".  Jesus, I'm sorry -- this five second stretch is just so absolutely wrong, on so many levels.  Accuracy, Fidelity!  We need accuracy!  The next time you see a cab leisurely strolling through Midtown at 6pm on a random weeknight, will be the first!

* 0:21: ooh, the plot thickens!  Rich white investment dude pulls out what appears to be a portfolio statement.  And why not -- the image Fidelity wants to portray is that their representatives are smart, intelligent, always looking for an edge for your money.

Meanwhile, black chick?  Is just sitting there!  Not even reading that prop Wall Street Journal they gave her to hold twenty seconds ago!  Seriously, Lewis Diuguid?  Sir, I may not always agree with you, but you're always an entertaining read.  How in the bluest of blue hells did you miss ripping this ad's overt, blatant racism back in the day?  My God Lew!  You can find racism in the color of cheese someone puts on their burger!  We're at six subvertive racist moments and counting, and we're barely a third of the way through this thing!

* 0:23: once again, whitey is shown hard at work, writing down stuff on his portfolio pages.  Black chick is shown staring straight ahead, her brain clearly as blank as the ad board on top of the cab.  Yet another factual inconsistency: anyone who's ever taken a cab in New York, knows cabs are traveling billboards!  Come on, Fidelity!  This is borderline criminal negligence in the fact-check department!  Ezra Klein would have destroyed you come second :16 of this commercial for the factual inaccuracies!

* 0:25: black chick looks over at what whitey is doing ... and looks utterly baffled at what she's looking at!  Yet another great "blacks and women are too stupid to keep up with rich white dude" moment!  And we haven't even hit the money shot moment yet!

* 0:28: notice the eyes.  (Blatant racist moment #8.)  We'll get to this in a second ...

* 0:29: "You're with Fidelity?"  I mean, are you kidding me?  The damned camera just spent the last FIVE SECONDS focused on the Fidelity letterhead!  She's just spent the last FIVE SECONDS staring at said letterhead!  And yet, a second earlier, she is portrayed as confused, baffled clueless ... and then has to ask the obvious!  I'm telling you, this ad is comedic gold.  Rush Limbaugh has a running gag in that no matter what the news is, the New York Times will always have the sub-headline of "minorities and women hardest hit".  Fidelity is just HAMMERING minorities and women in this ad!  They're portraying a clueless dolt of a black chick, who can't put two and two together to equal four!  (Just wait -- we STILL haven't hit the worst moment.  Or best, if you have a sense of humor.)

* 0:30: "that's right."  The smirk.  The smirk on rich white investment guy as he replies to her, it's a total "beyatch" moment.  How has noone at Grantland submitted this commercial for Rembert Browne to dissect?  (Pause).  What?  (Pause).  Well I know it's not from the 1980s, but good God, look at the piss poor quality of the video!  It could pass for a God awful season eight episode of "Benson"!

Also ...

* 0:31: the black chick is back to staring blankly ahead, as if she has no clue who or what Fidelity is.  Just wait, this is about to become ... hang on, I have to do this right.

(the great Mr. Hugh M. Hefner voice) ladies?  This is going to be something ... REALLY special!"

* 0:33: "let me ask you something".  Hey, she can talk!  Intelligently!  And politely!  Notice guys and gals -- this is the FIRST LINE OF THE COMMERCIAL she's uttered that wasn't "you stole my cab", or in some way portraying her as a clueless dolt of a broad.  And we're 33 seconds in!  Don't tell me this isn't sexism at its' finest!

Oh, the question?  Glad you asked.

* 0:34-0:36: "I still have a 401k from a job that I had three jobs ago".

Whitey, condescendingly nodding his head.  Black chick ... hang on, let her finish.

* 0:37: "Can I move that?"

Oh dear Jesus, where to begin.

First, they portray the black chick (who clearly is not all that old) as being flaky, irresponsible, incapable of holding down steady employment.  They basically portray her as your (sadly) typical typecast ignorant African American not worth the time of day as an employee.  And then, as if that wasn't offensive enough, now they portray her as being ABSOLUTELY CLUELESS when it comes to how to handle her money!  We're up to eight legitimate racist / sexist / reprehensible remarks or moments so far ... and not only are there still twenty four seconds left to go ... the worst has yet to occur!

* 0:39: "Most of the time?  Sure."  And then, the money shot:

* 0:40: "It's called a rollover."  I'm sorry, but that line never fails to slay me, or bring the house down with my good friends.  This ad, I'm telling you, is pure genius, if you dig into it.  Who in the hell hasn't heard of a rollover?  No, really -- what "professional businessperson" in this country from the last 25 years doesn't know what a "rollover" is?  How (blanking) stupid is this chick?  And again -- the arrogance, the cockiness, of the rich white dude, just rubbing the ignorant Mamie's* face in it.  If you have a sense of humor, you can't help but laugh.  If you don't?  Uuh, remind me again how the hell Fidelity didn't face a non-stop protest from the Rainbow / PUSH Coalition and the National Action Network when this ad began airing?

(*: for those of you with no sense of movie history, Mamie was Scarlett O'Hara's personal slave in "Gone With the Wind".  And it is, without question -- (allard baird voice) without question! -- one of the most anti-African American movie roles, in history.)

* 0:42: "Really?"  Again -- what professional businessperson DOESN'T know about a rollover?!?!?!  That's at least ten -- TEN! -- racist / bigoted / biased / sexist blasts against this poor girl, and she STILL doesn't know what hit her!  I trust her agent was fired over this.

* 0:44-0:46: "I do all the paperwork, and then you just sign, and roll over into an IRA".  Oh wait -- it gets worse.

* 0:47-0:48: "You can buy stock, or mutual funds, whatever you're comfortable with."  This is so freaking rich.  Whitey saving the day!  Whitey assuming black chick is so stupid, is so mentally challenged, that she not only can't fill out a simple piece of paper ("I do all the paperwork"), he has to inform her that she has to sign the paperwork he's going to do for her!  I mean, Jesus Christ, seriously: how -- how! -- did this ad NOT get protested across the country?  How in the hell did this ad ever get through practices and standards?  I'm a 36 year old white guy who's not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer, and even I know that you have to sign a financial transaction document!

And another thing -- you realize this black chick, WHO JUST MET THIS GUY FORTY SECONDS AGO AS HE WAS TRYING TO STEAL HER CAB, is now so gullible, so trusting, so ignorant, that she's gonna trust a dude whose moral foundation says stealing a cab from a black chick is acceptable, with her retirement funds?

And another thing -- three jobs ago?  A 401k from THREE JOBS AGO?  What kind of responsible business professional lets a 401k just sit there?  It's your money!  You don't just walk away from money you've earned!  NOBODY does that!  There is not one person in America who walks away from money they worked for!

And yet, we STILL haven't hit the most offensive moment!

* 0:50: "Will I be in control of it?"

And ... BOOM! goes the dynamite!

This alleged professional businesswoman -- and if she's headed to the financial district, she must know SOMETHING about money -- doesn't know if she has control over her investments!  And even if that's somewhat understandable (because, in the interest of fairness, it is) ... once again: SHE JUST MET THIS GUY FORTY SECONDS AGO AS HE WAS TRYING TO STEAL HER CAB!  She's going to take the word of a cab thief?  She's going to trust a guy who'd steal a cab from her, who sent her into oncoming traffic, with her 401k "from three jobs ago"?

So to sum up where we're at, and there's still eleven second to go guys:

Black chick: ignorant, stupid, financially irresponsible, not even remotely intelligent, gullible, easily taken advantage of.  Basically, an untrained animal.

White dude: her savior, can do no wrong, the smartest guy in the room, her only hope of financial independence.  The circus owner.

AND THERE'S STILL TEN SECONDS LEFT TO GO!

0:51: "Sure".  Well of course Whitey's gonna say sure -- she's just decided to hand over her money, once again, TO A GUY WHO SHE JUST MET FORTY SECONDS AGO AS HE WAS STEALING HER CAB!  God above.

0:53: "That's great.  My life down to a single sheet of paper."  Uum, may I ask the obvious?  No, really -- may I ask the obvious?  What kind of person, in ANY walk of life, thinks that their life can be completely contained ON ONE PIECE OF PAPER?

0:55: the dueling smiles.  His?  Cocky, arrogant, prickish, a "yeah, I own you b*tch!" smugness to it.  Her?  "I just totally signed over the first five years of my retirement to a guy I just met 45 seconds ago as he was trying to steal a cab from me, but it's the best decision I've ever made in my life, because I'm too damned stupid to make a decision on my own; I need a rich white dude to help me."

Lewis Diuguid?  Reverend Sharpton?  The (rush limbaugh voice) Reverend Jackson?  In the words of Peter Griffin's lawyer Mousy McDermott: "you have GOT to be kitten me!" that you didn't raise holy hell over this ad.

0:56-0:57: he couldn't resist.  He had to look at her, and smirk, and start laughing himself silly.  In rich white dude's defense ... I'd have done the same thing.  "Dumb gullible beyatch!"

0:58-1:00: professional black businesswoman?  Once again staring blankly out the window.

What an ad!

Oh, yeah -- the obvious answer is "hell no!", to the question of "does Fidelity handle my 401k" ...

stevo reacts to star columnist lewis diuguid

“There are two words that I didn’t think would ever come out of my mouth.  I didn’t think I’d ever be able to say them.  (Cue the dramatic pause …) 

I quit.”

-- Coach Pete Bell (Nick Nolte), “Blue Chips”.

-------------------------------------

Today, Kansas City Star columnist Lewis Diuguid published two columns related to the NAACP convention that occurred this week.  Since I haven’t done this in a while … let’s break both of them down, Stevo Style*, and then let me get to why I chose the lead-in to today’s post that I did.

(* as a refresher, Mr. Diuguid’s actual typed words will appear in italics, my response will be in normal font.)

I choose to start with his second column, because it’s his first column that so enraged me, that the second one just added fuel to the fire.  (Kinda like that one time, when Dusty dumped gasoline all over a bunch of old brush at the Stubbs house, it didn’t light on fire, so he went inside to get one of those huge grill lighters … and an emergency room visit, singed eyebrows, and a burnt hand later, learned his lesson – Smokey the Bear is a genius.  Only YOU can prevent (forest) fires.)

Article Two: “Unlike Romney, Biden cheered at NAACP convention”.

Vice President Biden drew great cheers Thursday during his speech at the NAACP convention in Houston.  Was there any doubt that he would?

sk: wow, Lewis stole my witty comeback.  Dammit.

Unlike presumptive Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, Biden praised President Barack Obama, the Affordable Care Act, and clearly explained how a Romney White House would negatively affect African-Americans.

sk: stop the typing!  My God Mr. Diuguid, how could Mr. Romney be more of an ENEMY to black America’s past, present, and future, than the Democrat Party has been since day one? 

Lewis, a little history lesson here for you.  Who founded the NAACP?  Answer: three rich, white … Republicans, as a response to the Democrat-started Ku Klux Klan.  Who stood with President Johnson (granted, a Democrat) to overcome a racist block of Senators to pass the Civil Rights Act of 1965?  Yup, Republicans.  Who turned the hoses on black folks in the South?  Democrats.  Who was the party of slavery?  Democrats.  Who was the party of Lincoln?  Republicans.

What party did former grand wizard of the KKK, Senator Robert Byrd, belong to?  The Democrats.  What party did George Wallace, who ran for President in 1964 on a segregation platform, what party was he a proud member of?  Democrats.

But forget the past, let’s focus on the present.  As we are all painfully aware, the monthly unemployment rate has remained above 8% for EVERY SINGLE MONTH Barack Obama has been in office.  (Remember folks – he promised us in his first State of the Union speech that if Congress passed ARRA (the Stimulus Bill), unemployment would never top 8% again after a few months, and would be a 5.1% right now.  It’s at 8.2 for the monthly number, 14.9 for the U6 (the true number).

Mr. Diuguid, tell me, what is the unadjusted (aka monthly) unemployment number for the black community right now?  14%!  A full 6% MORE of the black population of this country is unemployment than the non-black segments.  When you factor in retirees, a full 20% -- 20%! – of the black community has no hope of employment in the Obama economy.  To say nothing of the black population receiving government benefits, such as food stamps, welfare, Section 8 HUD housing, the list goes on and on.

Uum, sir?  Who was the President whose “Great Society” has not only wound up bankrupting this nation, but single handedly destroyed the black family in this country, by making fathers meaningless to (three) generations and counting of black Americans?  (Lyndon Johnson).  And what party was LBJ a member of?

Democrat.

But even more than the past or the present, Lewis, what the hell do you mean a Romney administration is a bad thing for black Americans?  (More on this when I get to the article that set me off.)  THIS is what you propose to help your fellow black American – more government spending, more unemployment, more living on everyone else’s dime, more lack of pride, motivation, and complete dependence on other people, as if black Americans are incapable of carving out a tremendous life for themselves without the need of a handout?

You infuriate me, Mr. Diuguid, and if you were honest with yourself, you’d be repulsed at your comments today.  To say nothing of Charlotte Manning, a lead official with the NAACP, with her comments today.

Biden told the audience that gains in voting rights, housing, education, and economic concerns would be reversed if Romney were to win.

sk: that’s the whole damned point Lewis!  You SHOULD want these “gains” in voting rights, housing, education, and economic concerns reversed!  My God, have you LOOKED at Barack Obama’s America lately, Mr. Diuguid?  Have you?

                                                                                            

14% unemployment for black Americans.  48% of the population on government assistance.  The crumbling urban core housing most black Americans.  Our education system is literally disintegrating before our eyes.  And voting rights?  WHAT gains?  Last time I checked, black Americans are still every bit as eligible to vote as I am!

Well possibly – that presumes a Black Panther thug or three doesn’t try to stand in my way at St. James this November when I walk in with my pro-Romney t-shirt, button, hat, and any other thing I can get my hands on to proudly cast my vote to end the insanity.

But hey, voter intimidation of whites by blacks, that’s just fine, isn’t it Lewis?  Black Panthers roughing up white voters in Philly in 2008, SEIU thugs roughing up Tea Party people in St. Louis in 2009, that’s perfect acceptable behavior, isn’t it.

Bullshit.  Perfectly describes every day of this administration -- total bullshit.

Let’s move on.

Obama administration officials had explained to members of the (NAACP) when their convention was in Kansas City in 2010 how they had beefed up civil rights and enforcement arms of the government, which had gone limp under the Bush administration.  Seeing conditions go back to those times combined with the bad economy would make for a painful future for people of color.

sk: just as a reminder – Lewis Diuguid is the columnist who interpreted many conservatives (correct) pronouncement of Barack Obama as a socialist, to mean they were racist.  I swear to Christ, this man can find racism based on the color of cheese on his burger.

What pains me, Mr. Diuguid, is that I do genuinely believe you mean well for the black community, and I second your desire to see a long-abused segment of our population achieve greatness.  (Lest you think I'm some fancy-schmancy white guy in south Johnson County, guess again -- I live in District 6 of KCMO.  I walk by the roo-eens of Bannister Mall every day.  I am not living a life of "white" luxury, sir.)  

But sir, no great deed was ever accomplished by someone else doing it for you.  Until and unless your “community” begins to hold black men accountable for fathering children they have nothing to do with, until your “community” takes a good, long hard look at what 50 years of blindly voting Democrat has brought to said “community”, EVERY envisionable future will be a “painful one for people of color”.

And please, Mr. Diuguid?  President Bush has been out of office for 36 months now.  Get.  Over.  It.  Remember sir – it was the Democrats who blamed Bush for the dot-com collapse recession he inherited, and Mr. Bush hadn’t even been in office for six months.  If Bush owns the economy after six months, what does Mr. Obama own after 36?  Other than the claim to fame of literally doubling the national debt in those 36 months.

At the convention in Houston, Biden asked the crowd, “Did you think we’d be fighting these battles again?”

“No!” people said in reply.

sk: anyone who regularly reads me knows that I love Joe Biden … but the man is a gaffe machine, a plagiarist, and an incompetent boob who, if he had a R behind his name instead of a D, would be a bigger national joke than Dan Quayle or Sarah Palin.  (Which is exactly why I love Joe Biden – he’s “Crazy Uncle Joe”!)

I mean, seriously, Joe Biden as a “Voice of Reason”?  Really?  What’s “reasonable” about a man who plagiarizes whole speeches, calls “JOBS” a “three letter word”, tells a man in a wheelchair to “Stand Up!”, I mean, do you want me to go on?

It’s past time for progressive people to wake up, register to vote, and then make sure all their friends do too.

sk: I’ll give you this Mr. Diuguid – it IS past time for progressive people, especially of color, to “wake up”. 

As a final comment to article two, I’d like to pose a question to Mr. Diuguid, and I'm going to ask it again in reviewing his first article: why sir, did President Obama not attend this convention?  He has PLENTY of time to schedule fundraising dinners with Sarah Jessica Parker, George Clooney, take vacations all over the world, put in 18 at Andrews … you mean he can’t take a couple hours out of campaigning for President to address “his” people at “their” convention?

Why sir?  Why was Mr. Romney brave enough to walk into the Lion’s Den, so to speak, but the President isn’t willing to speak to a receptive, supportive audience?  It’s a legitimate question, one of MANY any person who supported Mr. Obama in 2008 should be asking themselves today.

And now, the article that literally so enraged me on the ride into work this morning, that I literally got off three stops early just to vent before entering the building.

Article One: “Romney Stumbles Badly on Stage at NAACP Convention”.

Presumptive GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney deserves credit for at least showing up and speaking at the NAACP convention today in Houston.

sk: absolutely he does, Mr. Diuguid.  (stevo shouting voice) BECAUSE IT’S MORE THAN YOUR BELOVED BARACK OBAMA COULD MANAGE TO DO!!!!!  But clearly, all Republicans are racists, want to keep black Americans as second class citizens, and wish nothing but ill on anyone other than the upper 1% of this country, right?  

George W. Bush wouldn’t do it before and during most of the eight years he was in the White House.

sk: Gee, Lewis, I wonder why.  Wouldn’t be because the NAACP is a partisan hack organization that would heckle, boo, and seek to humiliate him during the entire speech, would it?

I mean, if you were invited to address a gathering of Log Cabin Republicans, would you do it?  And I ask that in all seriousness -- could you set aside your hatred of conservatism long enough to address gay conservatives?  Because Mitt Romney did essentially that -- he set aside his dislike of pure liberalism to address a minority group he wants to see succeed and prosper.

I'm guessing you wouldn't do the same.

(sidebar: my God, the fact that I’ve gone from wanting Mr. Bush impeached, to DEFENDING him, frightens even me …)

Unlike Ross Perot on his run for the presidency in 1992, Romney didn’t refer to persons at the convention of the oldest and largest civil rights organization as “you people”.

sk: an organization, again, founded by three rich, white Republicans to combat the KKK and secure equal rights for black Americans enduring harsh Jim Crow laws.

And as for Mr. Perot’s comment, I would think “you people” would be a FAR less offensive term than n*gga, which black Americans have NO problems calling themselves on a daily basis as a “term of endearment”. 

And yes, I JUST went there.  And yes, I’m going to go further.  Mr. Diuguid, why WOULDN’T a person NOT of color refer to black America as “you people”?  People such as yourself clearly have no use for white America.  You clearly view anyone not of color as being of a lesser stature than yourself.  Now, I would never accuse you of being a racist sir … unlike “people of color” who call me a racist on a daily basis because I want Mr. Obama to join the millions of Americans he’s sent into the unemployment line … but when you consistently trumpet one racial group over another?  Eventually it DOES become “you people”, on both sides of said divide.

Are you too blinded by contempt for white America to see this?  Too blinded by hack partisan loyalty to see failure in front of you?

Or blinded by sheer stupidity at what 50 years of unchecked leftist rule has done to the urban core of the United States?

But Romney didn’t dazzle the audience either.  As a matter of fact, the audience booed him – badly.

sk: wait, exactly TWO paragraphs ago, you dogged on former President Bush for refusing to attend a convention … where he was guaranteed to receive the response Mr. Romney did, regardless of what either man had to say.  So again, Mr. Diuguid, two questions:

1. Why would any white person want to speak at a convention they are guaranteed to be booed / shouted down / hurled out of the room at (and conversely, a black American such as yourself in the same situation), and

2. Where the hell was your beloved President Obama for this convention?  My God Lewis, you would think the first black President this country ever elected could at least show up for a couple cocktails and to schmooze a couple wealthy members for 30 minutes on his way to the latest Hollywood fundraiser in his honor!

OK … let me warn you … Mr. Diuguid’s following couple paragraphs are what set me off.  I fight fire with fire.  If you are easily offended at someone questioning the “plantation mentality” of modern black America …well hell, if you just read that, you probably are either in total agreement with me, or rapidly clicking my profile at the top of the page to send me a hate filled tweet or IM or email.  But yes, if questioning the “plantation mentality” of modern day black America offends you, you might want to stop reading now.

Fire away, Lewis!

Romney’s handlers should have advised him that saying anything negative about President Barack Obama in the black community is the equivalent of “playing the dozens”.  It’s trash talk of the lowest kind.

sk: and THAT last sentence, ladies and gentlemen, peoples and peepettes (a reference Mr. Diuguid surely can get ... ain't we lucky we got 'em (dah dah dah dah dah) GOOD TIMES!!!!!) … THAT is what sent me into Defcon 4.

Since WHEN is criticizing the President for his or her lack of accomplishments “trash talk of the lowest kind”?  Funny, Mr. Diuguid -- I don’t recall you criticizing black critics of Mr. Bush or Mr. Clinton or any other damned not of a color other than white President “trash talkers of the lowest kind”.  Maybe I missed that one article where you did … but I’m relatively certain you didn’t.

Why is it ok, sir, for a black American to (correctly, I might add) point out the idiocy of Mr. Bush … but it’s NOT ok for me, a white American, to question why anyone with an IQ above 0 would want to replace a President who has 15% of the country unemployed, who saw more people file for disability benefits in June than found jobs (85k to 80k), who has literally doubled the national debt in 3 ½ years, who had YET to sign into law a SINGLE BUDGET in his ENTIRE term in office, who has raised the debt ceiling three times already (and a fourth needed raising awaits in the fall), and oh yeah, who is (stevo really pissed off now voice) RUNNING A LARGER BUDGET DEFICIT IN YEAR THREE THAN MR. CLINTON’S ENTIRE GOD DAMNED BUDGET WAS ELEVEN YEARS AGO!

Yeah, let that sink in – the ENTIRE federal budget, after surplus is taken into account, was $1.4 trillion in 2000.  The ENTIRE budget.  Yes, we have literally BORROWED more money this year, than we SPENT twelve years ago!!!  

THIS is what you want for ANY part of America?!?!

What a DISGRACE.  Sir, if Mr. Obama was white?  You’d be demanding impeachment against him for his incompetence.  Instead, you equate calling Mr. Obama on his record of failure as “trash talk of the lowest kind”.

No, it isn’t sir.  Talk PERIOD of its lowest kind, is defending the indefensible.  No sane person would defend Jerry Sandusky, save for people paid for the “privilege” of doing so (aka his attorneys). 

And no sane person should defend the record of the single most incompetent President of my lifetime, and I am well aware I lived through 17 days of the Ford administration.

Yet Romney did (trash talk of the lowest kind), when he said Obama had failed on his promises to create jobs and better educate Americans.  Say what?

sk: once again, Lewis stole my comeback.  SAY WHAT?  Name ONE positive economic indicator under this administration sir, JUST ONE!  And education, uum, Mr. Diuguid?  We both live in Jackson County.  And there’s isn’t a SHOT!  IN!  HELL! I would EVER! send a kid of mine to a KCMO public school.  NOT!  A!  SHOT!  IN!  HELL!

My kid (and God forbid I ever have one) would be dropped in Catholic school so fast, his head would spin.  That, or I’d contemplate moving back to Johnson County.  Why in the hell would I want to subject a child of mine to a dysfunctional district in which over HALF its pupils fail to graduate?  What sane, person would do that to a loved one? 

The Obama record, sir, is what he HAS to run on, like it or not.  And his record is PISS POOR.  14.9% legitimate unemployment.  48% -- 48%!!! – of the nation’s residents receive government assistance of some kind.  Literally HALF THE DAMNED COUNTRY is on the public payroll!  You’re PROUD of this?  You think THAT is cause for re-election? 

I’ll ask it sir – have you no PRIDE in the value of pulling yourself up, of carving out a living for yourself via hard work, blood, sweat and tears?  Actually, I know the answer to that, and the answer is yes, because in fairness to Mr. Diuguid, NOBODY has been harsher on the ails that plague the black community than Mr. Diuguid, and as I have done in the past, I applaud him once again in this undressing of him for daring to speak out against the reality of black America, and attempting to change it.

But sir, re-electing a man who literally is purchasing television buys to try to get people to sign up for welfare?  That is NOT a positive step forward for ANY community, be they black, white, orange, or alien.

Romney said the Affordable Health Care Act, Obama’s signature achievement, would get junked if Romney were president in November.

sk: you do realize the CBO number was revised from $900 billion in ten years to the deficit, to $2.6 trillion, right Mr. Diuguid?  WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD IS AFFORDABLE ABOUT $2.6 TRILLION DOLLARS WE DON’T HAVE OVER TEN YEARS?

Thinking it in front of the (NAACP) is one thing; but by saying it Romney kissed a lot of give-the-rich-guy-a-chance votes goodbye.

sk: two questions, Mr. Diuguid:

1. Why is it that the only thing you believe can advance black America upward, is through MORE government spending?  What part of the Great Society has worked?  Name me ONE, just ONE, city in America run by unchecked liberalism in the last 50 years that isn’t crumbling in its core, filing for bankruptcy, or a national joke, if not international.  Name me just ONE city in this country run for 50 years by Democrats that isn’t imploding at the seams.  And

2. Since when is seeking the best life imaginable a BAD THING?  I have no problems with Mitt Romney’s wealth – hell, if anything, it MAKES me want to vote for him, because he wasn’t handed a damned thing!  I’m curious sir, when was the last time you asked if white America wanted to “give-the-rich-Ted-Kennedy’s-dream-of-universal-health-care a chance”?  When was the last time you asked white America to “give-richer-than-sin-Jay-Rockefeller’s-ideas a chance”? 

Why sir, is it ok to be insanely wealthy and be a Democrat, but be tore a new backdoor if you’re a rich Republican?  Ted Kennedy didn’t do ONE DAMNED THING for ANYTHING he ever “earned” in his life of fortune, save for drive a poor secretary off a bridge in a drunken stupor, then fail to call for emergency assistance to save her life.  THAT’S what you view as “dignified wealth”?  Mitt Romney worked his ASS OFF to get to where he is.  I would think someone like yourself, who claims to value the “idea of hard work” your father so selflessly taught you, would appreciate a man like Mr. Romney FAR MORE than you would a drunken sex addict and (at best) homicidally negligent Ted Kennedy.

Romney also stepped in it when he said his policies would help “families of any color more than the policies and leadership of President Obama”.

sk: sir, an untrained chimpanzee flinging his dung against the cage wall would succeed more than anything this administration has done, for any person of color, and pick your color of choice.  15% legit unemployment.  Record deficits.   Half the country receiving government payouts.  THIS is what you want MORE of?!?!?! 

Again sir, name ONE thing in the Great Society, and every liberal program since, that is an unqualified success.  Just one.  (in the interest of fairness, I think there are two – the SCHIP program, and HeadStart.  But that’s about it.)

The Republican Party has worked hard in the last 40 years to maintain a bad track record with black people in jobs, civil rights, education, equality, housing, health care, and opportunity.

sk: prove it sir.  As Mrs. Landingham would have noted on “The West Wing”, “Give me numbers Jed”.  Give me numbers Lewis.  SHOW ME where Republicans have done this.

Are you so stupid that you don’t realize it was over 600,000 plus REPUBLICANS who fought to free “your people”, while over 300,000 DEMOCRATS fought to keep you in bondage?  Do you not realize it was the Democrats who founded the KKK, Democrats who passed Jim Crow laws, Democrats who to this day demand the Confederate Battle Flag be flown on state capitals in the South?  That it was REPUBLICANS who got LBJ’s Civil Rights Act through Congress in 1965?

Do you remember LBJ’s famous comment as he either signed the bill, or learned it had passed (I forget which)?  “I have lost the South forever”.  Who OWNED the South then?  (Democrats).

I am so goddamned sick and tired of being called a “racist” for daring to stand up against the tyranny and utter incompetence of this administration that I literally want to start punching things.  Sir, you railed on the “imperial Presidency” of Mr. Bush.  (stevo beyond pissed off voice again) WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THEN?  “Czars” outside the realm of Congressional oversight everywhere?  Don’t like a law (like DOMA or border enforcement), you ignore defending it?  Marching us into war in Libya WITHOUT a declaration of war from Congress, as required by the Constitution?  (Again, say whatever you want about Mr. Bush’s incursion into Iraq, and I’m likely to agree with you … but Mr. Bush went to Congress – TWICE! – to get an authorization of force.  Mr. Obama has yet to do so even once.)

There is NOTHING racist about wanting to fix this nation’s biggest problem, and it’s biggest problem occupies the Oval Office.

Romney failed badly to win the black vote at the NAACP convention and earned the boos that he got from the audience.

sk: if I was the Romney campaign?  I’d take this article and run a 30 second ad of it.  Just read the words.  Any thinking person would say “wait a second, Mitt Romney dared to ask black America to contribute to society, instead of just take from it?  Wait a second, Mitt Romney dared to point out the obvious failures of this administration in front of its core?  Wait a second, Mitt Romney agrees with 2/3rds of the country that (“coffee talk with linda richman” voice) the Affordable Health Care Act is neither affordable, nor about health care, discuss?”

I’d run this article non-stop, like Hillary did with the 3am phone call ads that SHOULD have “woken up the progressive movement” four years ago.

Elections have consequences, Mr. Diuguid and my readership.  The consequences of 2008?  We will never be able to afford in our lifetimes.

But we can stop the bleeding.

And that is why I am telling the Democrat Party two words, that I never thought I could say about them.

I quit.

I haven’t changed my views – I still believe in equality for all people, especially marriage and adoption rights equality.  I still believe global warming is real, I still believe in reasonable gun control, I still favor punishing polluting businesses, I still favor any number of legitimate progressive causes worth championing.

But in the words of Ronald Reagan: “I didn’t leave my party; it left me”.  This administration is so corrupt, so inept, so out of touch with reality, so ... SOCIALIST (and yes, Mr. Diuguid, the definition of socialism is "taking from the producers to give to the takers so that everyone suffers in misery equally") ... that the pendulum has to swing back the other way.

And I plan to do my damndest to push that fucker back to the right.

Oh, and Mr. Diuguid?  Any blinded Obama backers reading this?  If daring to call this President on his lack of achievement, and daring to support the “rich white guy” running against him makes me a racist?  If you genuinely feel that way?

Then please do me a favor, and go “do what is anatomically impossible” …