My favorite column the Sports Guy writes is his "mailbag" columns, with "actual emails" from "actual readers".
Since I've got nothing better to do, I figured I'd blatantly plagerize the genre. As always, these are "actual emails" from my "actual readers". If you didn't appear, I apologize, I'll try to do better in version 2.0 ...
* "What are your thoughts on the Bucks first round draft pick (Brandon Jennings)?" -- Damien J, Midtown.
My thought is, its the best we could do.
There were three guys I really wanted at 10. Jordan Hill (F) from Arizona, DeMar DeRozan (G) from USC, and Jonny Flynn (G) from the 'Cuse! All three were gone before the Bucks went on the clock.
I was "watching" the draft at a family dinner. By "watching", I mean, my brother and I were staring intently at the TV in the corner, trying to figure out who picked who. After DeRozan went 9, I said "I want Jennings". I got my wish.
My thoughts on the pick are this: its the ultimate gamble. For that, I love it. This is THE home run swing of the draft. If Brandon Jennings plays to his potential, the Bucks have just drafted the face of the franchise for a decade or more. He's that talented. If he plays like a 19 year old for a few years, then its a catastrophe. But this is exactly what Milwaukee has to do to get back into the upper echelon of the Eastern Conference: take risks. Take gambles. I liked the pick for that reason alone, the Bucks took a chance at greatness rather than settling for mediocrity (like Austin Daye from Gonzaga or (gag me) Tyler Hansbrough from UNC).
* "What day this summer are you most looking forward to?" -- Megan K, Berlin.
Well, the obvious answer is, your homecoming tailgate in two weeks. But man, what a lineup still awaits the stretch run!
The Royals tailgate on the 18th for your homecoming. The first "Drew and Steve Tailgate the K! Who passes out drunk first!!!" day since Ayden was born the next day (email invites coming soon). The "100,000th oz / 250,000th oz / 300,000th oz / Not even Jesus can keep track of the oz this is" tailgate for me on the 24th! The Brickyard the week after that. Dave Matthews and Willie Nelson to close the summer out September 30th.
But without question, the answer is August 15th. The Chiefs preseason opener. Against Boomer Grigsby and the Houston Texans. I'm so stoked that I can hardly contain myself. If only it was a double-header day (damned Sports Complex remodel making that impossible for another year ...)
* "Are you still listening to that Nate Matthewson guy?" -- Gregg G, Bonner Springs.
Hell yes I am.
I'm up to a baker's dozen "will not delete" songs by him on the iPod: "I Saw", "Curve of the Earth", "Bent", "All Been Said Before", "Fall to Pieces", "More Than This", "Philadelphia Song", "Answering Machine", "Suspended", "Car Crash", "Falling Apart", "Heartbreak World", and of course, (mr. nathanson at the bottleneck last november voice) "the song, 'Come On Get Higher' (crowd voice) woo!". I haven't been this into an artist or band since ... uuh ... maybe Linkin Park when "Hybrid Theory" came out?
And oh yeah. I took your advice, and listened to the Sugarland version of "Come On Get Higher". I gotta be honest, I love Matt Nathanson's version. It's way better. The lyrics are just so amazing, just such a f*cking turn on when sung right ... and she kind of gets it. Not bad. Worth the listen, at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4dSHfe_HHQ
* "Your thoughts on Bill Weber getting sh*t canned by TNT?" -- Brett H, Harrisonville.
My thoughts? The guy just got fired for (allegedly) getting into a late night hotel bar fight! That's friggin awesome! My only thought is that I might need to rethink my position on him from my "Steve and Brett Broadcast NASCAR" proposal from three years ago:
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b. I am my audience. I think this is the biggest reason why TNT's broadcast blows. (Well that, and the total lack of talent they possess). Can you picture Bill Weber in the stands, shirt off, working his way through a 20 pack of Bud Light, cursing during driver intros, and just being a completely degenerate drunken idiot for an afternoon? Hell no.
But can you picture me doing that? I mean, seriously, (irl promo voice) I am NASCAR! I'm the fat overweight guy in the "more we get together" commercial whose chugging a Bud Light, using the binoculars to check out the rack in 115 ... I mean, the wreck in turn 2, and has the look of a drunken idiot who hasn't seen a shower in a week. I'm that guy. That's who the fans want to listen to, not some preppy white guy in a suit who reads off a teleprompter.
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Yeah. I'm that guy, with the shirt off, the beer in one hand, the jello shot in the other, screaming "woo!" every lap. Jesus, Indy can't get here soon enough. On to the next question, which coincidentally comes from another racing fan:
* "What do you think of Tony Stewart leading the points at this point?" -- Darren B, Raytown.
Its unbelievable. This is THE second biggest story in racing this year, behind Tony George hitting the curb with a "confident and classy" quote hanging in the background. The guy leaves one of NASCAR's power teams, forms his own team by buying out one of the also-rans ... and he's leading the friggin series in points, and is pretty much a lock for the Chase. And he's peaking heading to his favorite track. My head is spinning. Let's move on.
* "What Chiefs game are you most looking forward to this fall?" -- Kellie B, KCK.
Wait. This is an actual question? The answer is ALWAYS "denver". The fact that Derrick Thomas' number will be formally retired has nothing to do with the answer, although it does strengthen it. And that reminds me ...
Why isn't 37 "officially" retired? I get that nobody has worn 37 since Joe Delaney heroically gave his life so that 3 young boys could live. But really, why isn't 37 OFFICIALLY retired? Someday in the future, some idiot is going to come along and take 37. And I'm going to be pissed as holy hell when he does. This is insane, One Arrowhead Drive. The man died so that others might live. The Ring of Honor is nice. A permanent retirement of the number is LONG overdue. Let's rectify this in 2010, ok?
* "You promise you won't lock my girlfriend in a port-a-potty and tip her over for that denver game, right? Right? Come on Stevo! Give me this at least!" -- Dusty J, Independence.
I promise that I, and my tailgating group, will show her the same respect, love, and admiration of her fanhood that we showed Russ at Texas Stadium four years ago. On that, you have my solemn vow.
* "But wait, you slapped a "he's really a Chiefs fan" Arrowhead on Russ, mocked him the whole walk in, and kept laughing at him in the pisser until midway through the second quarter, when he figured it out! So you're saying?" -- Tracey J, Raytown.
I'm saying, I will treat every denver fan at our tailgate with the same level of admiration, love, and respect that we showed Russ at Texas Stadium four years ago.
* "So you're saying, Dusty should bring a change of clothes." -- Mark S, South KC.
Bingo.
* "That's not cool." -- Carlito, Stamford CT.
Hey, my favorite wrestler checks in! Wait, Carlito is still wrestling, right? Its been like 3 years since I tuned into RAW ...
* "So what TV show are you most looking forward to this fall?" -- Frank L, Dallas.
Well, the obvious answer is, the final 18 episodes of "Lost" ... but nope. How can you top the return of my absolute favorite sleazy show from my high school and college years?
Melrose 2.0!!!
With Dr. Michael Mancini on board to boot!
You rate my household, champ, that show vaults to number one overnight. Especially if season one is really about "who actually killed Sydney", as is rumored to be the case ...
* "Are you ready to abandon the ship yet? This team (expletives deleted)!" -- Phil S, Overland Park.
No.
* "Really? Are you f*cking retarded? Dude, the season's over! Time to focus on football!" -- Heath C, Harrisonville.
I am not mentally challeged due to physical defect. And the season is NOT over. Its in trouble, but not over.
* "Come on. You're just saying that so that you can get my better half's jello shots a couple more times this summer." -- Scott H, Liberty.
Wow, am I that obvious?
* "Your thoughts on KU Football this fall." -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
Should go 4-0 non con. I love that 3 of our 4 non-cons are nationally televised ... but love even more that 2 of our 3 home non-cons start before noon! Hooray getting some sun in September! I look at the conference schedule like this:
Will win: vs ISU
Should win: at ksu, vs Nebraska, at Colorado
Coin flip: at Texas Tech, vs mizzou
Should lose: vs OU
Will lose: at Texas.
We split the coin flips, that should get us a tie for the North with Nebraska (who has OU at home, Tech at home, and OSU on the road, plus at mizzou, at KU). And a date in Reliant Stadium for the Big XII Title and a BCS berth for the 2nd time in 3 years. Seriously, pinch me already. Kansas Freaking Jayhawk Football is a contender for a BCS bowl! For the 2nd time in 3 years! This is just unreal.
* "How did you all not leave me at 311 last year?" -- Chris N, Plaza.
I have no idea pal. I don't even remember driving home. All I know is, when Dusty hands me back the keys because I'm the most sober of the bunch, that is NOT a good sign.
* "You still want the pic of me in the t-shirt turban with you at that concert?" -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
F*ck yes I do! I've been asking for a copy of that for a year now pal! Come on. OK, lighting round.
* "Gut feeling, Chiefs record." -- Anthony V, Columbus Park.
2006 all over again. 9-7, steal a wildcard berth based on conference record (and a huge early December home win over Buffalo), and everyone else in the AFC bashing their heads against each other.
* "Gut feeling, NFL playoff teams three months before kickoff." -- Vineet T, Queens, NY.
NFC: Division champs Eagles, Bears, Saints, Seahawks; wildcard Cowboys, Redskins.
AFC: Division champs Patriots, Steelers, Texans, Chargers; wildcard Ravens, Chiefs.
Super Bowl: Eagles over Steelers.
* "So why do you hate my wife so much?" -- Jasson W, Lenexa.
Because the Jasson I once knew and loved was hit repeatedly by a tire iron in the nuts by her. And because I hate half-eaten bags of Oreo's as a "tailgating contribution". No matter how bad off I am, I always bring a fresh bag champ. Always.
Finally ...
* "I no longer have to text "take your shirt off!" to you at Chiefs games!!! I can now yell it at you from 7 rows back!!!" -- Ashley G, Bonner Springs.
Doll, if you want to yell "take your shirt off!" to me at ANY point in time when its above 75 and sunny in that stadium, I am more than willing to meet my readers demands ...
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