Last Week SU: 9-5-0.
Season to Date SU: 66-38-1.
Last Week ATS: 6-8-0.
Season to Date ATS: 52-50-3.
Last Week Upset / Week: Big Dick Nick, my Hairless White Ass.
Season to Date Upset / Week SU: 2-5-0.
Season to Date Upset / Week ATS: 3-4-0.
This Week Upset / Week: Lions (+2 1/2) over Colts.
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The Week Eight Non-Chiefs Predictions.
* Byes: 1-6-0 Texans, 1-6-0 Jaguars, 2-5-0 Redskins, 5-2-0 "Super" Cardinals. If you had the Arizona "Super" Cardinals with more victories entering the Week Eight bye than the other three Week Eight bye teams combined, raise your hand. (Pause). What? (Pause). Hell no, my hand isn't raised! Also, if you had the Redskins closer to first place (a half game) than the Texans (four and a half games) entering their Week Eight bye, raise your hand. (Pause). That's what I thought.
* at 3-4-0 Panthers (-1) 24, 1-6-0 "Shane" Falcons 14. On the bright side, the next three Thursday nighters are really good -- Packers at 49ers, Colts at Titans, "Super" Cardinals at Seahawks. You can stretch that to four if you count the Thanksgiving nighter (Ravens at Steelers). One dud for four solids seems, uuh, solid to me.
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* at 3-3-0 Lions (+2 1/2) 30, 4-2-0 Colts 20. The Lions next four? At Vikings / vs Redskins / at Panthers / vs Texans (Thanks). The Colts next four? vs Ravens / at Titans (Thurs) / vs Packers / vs Titans. One of these teams is a real threat for a wild card. That team is not your Indianapolis Colts.
* at 5-1-0 Packers (-6 1/2) 41, 1-5-0 Vikings 3. This line is at least a touchdown too low. At least.
* 2-4-0 Patriots (+3 1/2) 24, at 5-2-0 Bills 20. The last time the Patriots lost four straight? Weeks Seven through Eleven (including a bye), 2000. The last time the Bills opened 6-2-0 (or better)? Shockingly enough, last year. Which do you think will occur first again -- because barring a tie, one will on Sunday? Yeah, I'm betting the Pats losing streak ends at three as well.
* 5-1-0 Titans (-6) 34, at 1-5-1 Bengals 27. Could be a sneaky good game you'll want on the third TV, if only for fantasy football purposes.
* 3-3-0 raiders (+2 1/2) 34, at 5-2-0 Browns 31. If the Browns win this one, they have no excuse -- none -- to not be 9-2-0 entering December. Their next four weeks after this: bye / vs Texans / vs Eagles / at Jaguars. And given the Browns still face the Giants and Jets in December, you can credibly argue they may for all intents and purposes clinch a playoff berth with a win Sunday. In the words of Mary Lee Crosby: "that's incredible!"
* 5-2-0 Rams (-4) 31, at Dolphins 20. And to think people openly mocked me for saying two months ago the Rams would win the NFC. In the bastardized words of Steve Perry: "who's laughing now?"
* at 5-1-0 Ravens (-3 1/2) 27, 6-0-0 Steelers 20. I'm not sold on this pick ... but the Steelers are three plays away from being .500 (those people 4th and Goal Week 2; Texans 4th and Goal Week 3; Gostkowski missed FG last week), while the Ravens have looked beatable for about three quarters this year, all against the Chiefs. Really makes you wish NBC had used a flex for the second week in a row, because this week's Sunday Nighter might be the worst one since NBC picked the series up fifteen years ago.
* at 2-4-0 those people (+3) 20, 2-4-0 "Super" Chargers 10. As far as I could research, those people have never opened 0-4 at home before. They currently sit 0-3. In any event, the loser of this game is probably drawing dead -- they'd likely have to close 7-2 or better to steal the seven seed, given the AFC Norris is likely sending three teams to the playoffs. The winner isn't in much better shape, but at least gets the initial tiebreaker between the two squads.
* at 5-2-0 Bears (+4) 20, 4-2-0 Saints 17 (OT). The Bears are still en route to a 10-6 finish that will see them open in Philly or Washington against a six win NFC East winner. That should be utterly unwatchable.
* at 5-1-0 Seahawks (-3) 34, 4-3-0 49ers 27. Awesomely, best game of the day.
* at 2-4-1 Eagles 6, 2-5-0 Cowboys (+10) 0. Pathetically, worst game of the day.
* 5-2-0 Buccaneers (-10) 45, at 1-6-0 Giants 3. Sadly, not even the worst Monday Night game the Fake Meadowlands will host this month.
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The Chiefs Prognostication.
Nearly thirty years ago, a horrible AFC East squad arrived at Arrowhead as a two plus touchdown underdog. I will grant you, 1992 is a long time ago. To put into perspective how long ago that game was, it occurred during the transitional period from George H W Bush to Bill Clinton.
The game that day was cold and rainy. I can assure you, it was not an optimal viewer experience. (Few weather games suck more than cold and rain, especially in December, as this game was.)
But it isn't the cold and the rain, it isn't the shockingly close outcome (a 27-20 come from behind Chiefs victory) that causes me to remember that Chiefs / Patriots matchup from twenty eight Decembers ago.
No, it's one player, and specifically his words, that make that game memorable as "The Bill Mass Game".
When Mr. Maas, God love his Zarda BBQ pimping ass, noted "so long as we show up with our helmets on, we'll win" about the contest.
Sunday, the Chiefs once again will host a horrible AFC East squad, entering Arrowhead as a two plus touchdown underdog. Thankfully, no one on the Chiefs roster is doing something as stupid as Bill Maas did nearly thirty years ago, and burying this god-awful opponent before kickoff. In fact, the opposite is occurring -- the Chiefs are being mocked for portraying the Jets as a "good team" suffering some "bad luck".
Let's hope this one not only ends with a "lesson learned" badge of honor when it comes to how to "respect" your opponent ... but that twenty eight years from now, we're referring to this one as the first "LeVeon Bell Game".
* at Chiefs (-19) 41, Jets 6.
