stevo "cd" review: "the outsiders" by eric church

Happy Sunday, peoples and peepettes! 

Sorry this one took so long.

Stevo “CD” Review.

“The Outsiders” by Eric Church.

12 tracks, 51 minutes (approximate).

Let’s begin.

Track 1: “The Outsiders”.  Uum, wow.  This is certainly an interesting track to open the “cd” with.  I’m not saying that it’s bad; it’s just not what you’d expect.  The song opens up for the first forty seconds or slow as a slow, drawn out, haunting song, and then at the forty second mark, BAM!, the switch gets flipped, and we go up tempo big time into a type of rock that sounds like something Hank Williams would have put out.  Then at the midpoint, it slows right back down for a moment, before it just explodes with energy, emotion, and a really damned good sounding, uuh, sound.  You even wind up with a few “raise the lighters and wave ‘em side to side in the air” moments taking this thing to the finish.  The last minute?  Is one of those guitar / drum riffs that you’d expect in a live show to buy time at the end of a track for a stage reset or something, not in the opening track to a “cd”.

Best / Favorite Lyric:

“We’re the bad news, we’re the young guns.

We’re the ones they told you to run from.

Yeah, a player’s gonna play, a hater’s gonna hate;

And a regulator’s born to regulate.

When it hits the fan, and it all goes down,

And the gloves come off?

You’re gonna find out …

Just who we are!

We do our talking!

Walk that walk!

Wide open rocking!

That’s how we roll!

Our backs to the wall!

A band of brothers –

Together, alone!

The Outsiders!”

Grade: A-.  A very ambitious start.  And I happen to like ambition.

Track 2: “A Man Who Was Gonna Die Young”.  And after a very up-tempo start, we definitely slow and strip things down.  If the first track is more a Southern rock style you’d expect from a Hank Williams or a Lynyrd Skynyrd, this is much more like … you know what it kind of reminds me of, is “Whiskey Lullaby” by Alison Krauss and Brad Paisley.  It’s a song that you the sound and pacing, makes you think is about a tragedy, or about something unpleasant.  Then you listen to the lyrics, and you realize, it’s anything but.  It’s about a dude who lived life to the fullest, only now he looks back, and can’t understand why he risked it like he did, when what he truly wanted, was there all along.  Let’s just say, this song and me?  We could be friends.

Best / Favorite Lyric:

“What the hell made you love

A man, who was gonna die young?”

Grade: B+.  A pretty solid effort.

Track 3: “Cold One”.  And now we get a more traditional country sound.  And like the first two tracks, I like how this sounds.  The extended riff at the from the 1:50 mark to about the 2:50 mark, a solid minute, was phenomenal.  As for the song itself?  Eeh.  Outside of the riff, I didn’t really care for it.  Still, if this is the worst effort on this “cd”, I’m going to be a happy man.

Best / Favorite Lyric:

“I still like to drink a beer,

But a long neck I won’t do.

‘Cause every time I see one sweating,

Man I break out in one too.”

Grade: C.  It’s there.  It’s not memorable, it’s not horrendous.  It’s just there.

Track 4: “Roller Coaster Ride”.  And on track four, we finally get a song that, at least initially, sounds like you’d expect an Eric Church song to sound.  And kids?  It’s good.  It’s a phenomenally good song.  In the interest of full disclosure, my five favorite efforts by Mr. Church would be:

5. “Over When It’s Over” (off “Chief”).

4. “What I Almost Was” (off “Sinners Like Me”).

3. “Hell On The Heart” (off “Carolina”).

2. “Love Your Love The Most” (off “Carolina).

1. “Sinners Like Me” (off “Sinners Like Me” – hey, it is one of the two official anthems of my life, after all (along with Gavin DeGraw’s “I Don’t Wanna Be”).

This song?  Slides somewhere between “Hell on the Heart” and “What I Almost Was” on first listen … and might rise another spot, if I listen to it enough.  Just a phenomenal effort from start to finish (and the closing sounds, you don’t really see coming).  Just a phenomenal effort.

Best / Favorite Lyric:

“Since you had to go?

I’ve been on a roller coaster ride!

Up and down I go, over you,

About to lose my mind!”

Grade: A.  Loved this effort.

Track 5: “Talladega”.  Oh Sweet Jesus.  Everything I just said about the track before this one?  Multiply by fifty.  This honestly might be my favorite effort he’s ever done.  Everything – and I mean everything – about this song, works.  The sound is great.  The lyrics are awesome.  

And the sentimental value of said lyrics, what the story this song is telling, totally hits the mood I’ve been in for the last few months or so – one of looking back at your favorite moments of life, your “greatest hits”, and realizing that no matter how things ultimately turned out?  

The journey to get here, was worth it.

Best / Favorite Lyric:

“Like a storm?  Time rolls on.

You can’t hit pause, as we just did.

Most days in life?  Don’t stand out.

But life’s about those days that will. 

Like rocking rando, getting rowdy,

Shooting roman candles at

The man on the moon,

‘Til the Alabama sun was breaking …

Over Talladega!  Boys raise up,

Whiskey in your glass!

Here’s to turning up, slowing down,

And cars that go real fast!

We were laughing and living,

Drinking and wishing, and thinking

As that checkered flag was waving,

Sure would like to stay in Talladega …”

Grade: A+.  This is going in the work playlist like, now.

Track 6: “Broke Record”.  Southern rock sound to open, and throughout.  It’s not a bad song.  But after the last two efforts, this feels more like filler, than a potential single.

Best / Favorite Lyric:

“Your lips?  Your hips?

When you touch ‘em to mine,

Each and every time,

I’m hypnotized!  I’ll admit it!

Your moves?  Your grooves?

It’s some heavy stuff,

I can’t get enough!

Girl your love’s a drug, I can’t quit it!”

Grade: B-.  I wouldn’t hit fast forward if this popped up on Pandora, but I wouldn’t be searching this track out either.

Track 7: “Like A Wrecking Ball”.  This is just a fun, laid back little tune, a romantic ballad, if you will.  It’s about love, and romance, and … (lee corso voice) aw, f*ck it! 

It’s a song about a dude screwing his girl so hard, that … well … seriously, you try not to laugh at the visuals, because I couldn’t. 

Best / Favorite Lyric:

“I’m gonna find out,

What this house is made of!

Been too many nights,

Since it felt us make love!

I wanna rock some sheetrock!

Knock some pictures off the wall!

(I wanna) love you baby,

Like a wrecking ball!”

And …

“That old house?

Is gonna be shaking!

I hope these bricks and boards

Can take it!

But I won’t be surprised,

If the whole damned place just falls!

I’m gonna rock you baby,

Like a wrecking ball!”

What’s that?  One more?  (fidelity ad guy voice) Why not!

“And that old house?

Is gonna be shaking!

Rafter rocking;

Foundation quaking!

Crash right through the front door,

Back you up against the wall!

Love you baby,

Take it right there baby!

Rock you baby,

Like a wrecking ball!”

Grade: A+.  Are we sure Jack Black didn’t write this one?

Track 8: “That’s Damn Rock and Roll”.  This one actually has an old school Rolling Stones feel and sound to it, and as someone who finds a way to work as many Stones classics into the Mixology list as I can get away with (I was up to six by season end!), I heartily approve.  This one kinda reminds me at times of “Gimme Shelter”, and that’s a good thing, since it’s either my third or fourth favorite Stones track*.  Give this one a listen.  I can’t envision it as a single, but it’s damned good.  Because it is damned rock and roll.

Best / Favorite Lyric:

“It ain’t a middle finger on a t-shirt

The establishment’s trying to sell;

It’s a guy with the balls,

Who told the establishment to go to hell.

It ain’t about the money you make,

When a record gets sold;

It’s about doing it for nothing,

‘Cause it lives in your soul.

That’s?  Damned rock and roll!

That’s?  Damned rock and roll!”

Grade: A.  Really cool song.

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(*: come on, no post of mine is complete without at least one random sidebar rant.  My ten favorite Stones tracks: 10) “Jumpin Jack Flash”, 9) “Angie” 8) “Miss You”, 7) “Paint It Black”, 6) “Start Me Up”, 5) “Mother’s Little Helper”, 4) “Gimme Shelter”, 3) “Mixed Emotions”, 2) “Sympathy for the Devil, 1) “Get Off Of My Cloud”.  And now back to the regular portion of these poorly prepared remarks.)

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Track 9: “Dark Side”.  You build for forty seconds to the first lyric.  And the sound is kinda neat – it definitely hints at something big coming.  Only … the moment never arrives.  This song just didn’t work for me.  To me, this is the first dud on the “cd”.  And it’s a clunker.

Best / Favorite Lyric: honestly, there wasn’t one.

Grade: D.  Not a fan.

Track 10: “Devil, Devil (Prelude: Prince of Darkness)”.  I’m not a fan of the word “prelude”.  Only this prelude, works.  Quite honestly, the first four minutes of this song (the “prelude”), if you close your eyes, and just listen, you can picture Coach Taylor standing there in the Dillon or East Dillon locker room, giving his inspirational speech of the night.

The song itself also lives up to the hype the four minute prelude sets up.  I had my doubts seeing a nearly nine minute run time.  I never once found myself bored or waiting for this thing to wrap up.  That’s the mark of a good song.

Best / Favorite Lyric:

“I’ll tell you a well-known secret,

Of a tiny place known far and wide.

The devil walks among us folks,

And Nashville is his bride.

Of all the chaos he has caused and done,

His greatest trick?

Is to every guitar-totin’ dreamer,

The devil don’t exist.

But me?  I shook his hand.

I know that he is real.

So devil?  You can screw yourself,

And then go straight to hell!”

Grade: A for the Prelude, B for the song itself, so I’ll split the difference and call it a B+.

Track 11: “Give Me Back My Hometown”.  If you’re a fan of Mr. Church, you’ve heard this song.  If you haven’t, you’ve missed out.  This is one of Mr. Church’s best efforts, in a career filled with tens of them at this point.  Great sound, love the story the lyrics tell, and you will too.

Best / Favorite Lyric:

“All the colors of my youth?

The red, the green?  The hope, the truth?

Are beating me black and blue,

‘Cause you’re in every scene.

My friends try to cheer me up;

Get together at the Pizza Hut.

I didn’t have the heart to tell them,

That was our place.

These sleepy streetlights on

Every sidewalk street,

Shed a light on everything

That used to be.

Give me back my hometown.

‘Cause this is my hometown!”

Grade: A.  Phenomenal first single choice.

Track 12: “The Joint”.  Uum, this is not how I would have closed out this “cd”.  I’d have flipped this and “Give Me Back My Hometown”.  To bastardize a quote from the great Dean Wormer: “slow, boring, and pointless is not a good final impression to a “cd”, son”.

Best / Favorite Lyrics: honestly, none.

Grade: F.  I despised this track.

Final verdict: Only one truly awful track, only two I didn’t care for, out of twelve.  Three A+’s, three more A’s / A-‘s, plus three B+’s / B’s (along with one C, one D, and one F). 

Spend the money on iTunes or Amazon or whatever your legal provider of choice is.  You won’t regret it.

Overall Grade (Theismann Scale): 12-4, Division Winner, Wildcard Round Bye, Conference Championship Game Participant.  A damned solid “season” for this “cd”.

"cd" review: matt nathanson's "last of the great pretenders"

"If I bent like you said was best,
Would that change a thing?
If I spent myself til nothing's left,
Would you still leave me here?

You're so sorry about it all
Now that it's over?
Should I thank you for that dear?
So sorry about it all?
I hope you'll always be ..."

-- "Bent" by Matt Nathanson.  Not on this new album -- it's an oldie, and a goodie ...

------------------

It's been awhile since I've done one of these ... but this is one of two new releases in the summer of 2013, I've been highly anticipating.  (The other one is Brantley Gilbert's upcoming effort, which I believe is due to drop in late August.)

I first saw Mr. Nathanson back in 2008 at the Bottleneck, long before he became a smash hit.  You can click here to read my review of that night.  As mesmerized as I was that evening?  If anything, I love this guy's work even more, five years later.

(cough cough) Matt Nathanson will be performing at KC Live on Friday, August 9th.  (cough cough).  I'm just saying (cough).

Artist: Matt Nathanson
CD: "Last of the Great Pretenders"
11 songs, 40 minutes (approximately)

1. "Earthquake Weather".  I love the sound.  I just love the sound of this song.  It has a Maroon 5 / Gavin DeGraw type of vibe to it.  And if you know me at all, you know how freaking much I love Gavin DeGraw.  I also love the lyrics.  The song is about a dude who recognizes he's screwed up the relationship, and they get to you.  Really solid opening track.  If this is the opener, I can't wait to hear the next ten efforts.

Best line(s):
Scared dogs will bite,
And cowards cut and run.
And sun, it burns your skin.
It comes natural to be so cruel,
To be an a**hole,
To someone as good as you.

Grade: A.

2. "Mission Bells".  Interesting opening.  Another Maroon 5 / Gavin DeGraw style vibe.  One thing I really like about it, is that every time he hits a pause, and you expect him to take it more up-tempo leading up to the chorus?  He stops.  He lets the verses play out, and even then, he doesn't really amp up the chorus much.  Oh, song is about a dude who dreams his girl died, so he wants to let her know how he feels while he knows he still can.  A little creepy, but what the hell.

Best line(s):
I'm the end of a Hitchcock movie --
A little dark and a lot confusing.
I'm the last of the worst pretenders --
So lost, so lost in love.

Grade: B+.

3. "Last Days of Summer in San Francisco".  This song sounds like it could have been on "Modern Love", and especially "Some Mad Hope".  This is a more traditional sounding Matt Nathanson song.  I like the sound, but not as much as the first two tracks.  Plus, and maybe I'm just a clueless dolt who's had one too many glasses of shiraz tonight, but I have no freaking clue what the hell this song is about.  I'm guessing this won't be his next single release.

Best line(s):
Love?  Noone cares
About the stories they aren't in.
We'll fade out to whispers --
It's the last days of summer
In San Francisco.

Grade: B.

4. "Kinks Shirt".  Wow.  Look it, I irrationally love anything Matt Nathanson does.  But this is without question -- (allard baird voice) without question! -- one of my five or six favorite songs he's ever done*.  Trust me folks, you are going to love this song.  It's also kind of cool that he wrote this about someone specific, who he apparently met while recording this album.  This song is fun, catchy, and it's gonna be a hit.

Best line(s):
It's the way she walks!
The way she talks!
I can't stop thinking 'bout
The girl in the kinks shirt!

Take me home,
San Francisco!
Can't stop thinking 'bout
The girl in the kinks shirt!

You and my imagination!
You and my imagination!
You and my imagination!
I can't stop thinking 'bout
The girl in the kinks shirt!

Grade: A+.  Phenomenal.

(*: my five favorite Nathanson songs pre-this album, in reverse order: 5. "Answering Machine", a great "f*ck you!" song to that ex that you're still p*ssed about; 4. "Modern Love", if only for the epic line "who said one big exhale never did me no good?"; 3. "Come On Get Higher", which is the song that truly put him on the map, and it's so, so, so damned good; 2. "More Than This", the "Live at the Point" version linked here, and 1. "Heartbreak World", a song that has really appealed to me over this last year.  Also -- his cover of "Take On Me" is EPIC live.)

5. "Sky High Honey".  And whoa, did he hit the breaks on where this album was headed.  Let's just say, this isn't an upbeat, happy track like "Kinks Shirt" or even "Earthquake Weather".  And yet, I like it.  I'm struggling to find another Matt Nathanson song to compare this to.  It's kind of similar to "Bent" in terms of tempo, but not sound.  Still, I like this.  Not love it -- but definitely like it.

Best line(s):
No more late night drives to Boston;
No more Cure songs to get lost in.
No more taxis, subway tokens --
Arms wide open, I'm sky high honey gone.

Grade: B.

6. "Annie's Always Waiting (For the Next One to Leave)".  And just when you're starting to doze off, bango!  We're back to a more upbeat, happy vibe.  You know what this song sounds like, honestly?  The theme song from "The Big Bang Theory".  It's very similar, and damned near as catchy.

Best line(s):
My life's a movie.
My whole life's a movie,
If movie's made you wanna
Jump off a bridge.

She said I got one,
Who really moves me,
And one who sees through me,
When all I want is a kiss.

Annie's always waiting
For the next one to leave;
But she's right on time
For me.

Grade: B.

7. "Kill the Lights".  Wow.  You'll like the song, you'll love the flow, and you'll totally and completely fall in love with the lyrics.

Best line(s):
I found religion at the record store;
I found heaven on your kitchen floor.
The church of your curves,
The ghost inside us --
The last temptation.

Kill the lights!
I'm afraid of nothing!
The church of your curves!
The ghost inside us!
The last temptation!

The night is young,
But we are younger --
Time is on our side!
Kill the lights!
Kill the lights!

Grade: A.  Another phenomenal effort.

8. "Heart Starts".  We're back to the Maroon 5 vibe again to open, but by the time it gets rolling, it sounds more like a Matt Nathanson effort.  This is decent, but it really doesn't do anything for me.  As my buddy Pickell would say, put it this way: it won't be on any of the (at least) ten to (hopefully) twelve Mixology efforts this fall.

Best line(s):
Found a dead girl to read my palm.
Yeah, she was into losing streaks,
So I let her take me on.

Grade: C.

9. "Birthday Girl".  Take a listen to the first verse, and tell me if my descent into a nervous breakdown is worse than I thought, but the verses, the music, I swear, you will think of "Leaving On A Jet Plane".  The bridge and the chorus?  Nope, unique.  But I kind of dig this.  Also, the drum solo entering the final chorus, you'll immediately think of the theme song from "the little show that could", my second favorite show of all time, "Friday Night Lights".

Best line(s):
I don't know what to do,
Once this gets started.
I never meant to be
So broken hearted.

Grade: A-.  A sneaky good track that you don't see coming.

10. "Sunday New York Times".  This is a song you want to put on if you're depressed as holy hell.  It will make you even more depressed.  Very slow, very much about a painful memory.

Best line(s):
You were the saint, I was the liar.
At least that's how I remember it.
Left all our dreams, all our desires,
On the steps of your apartment.

The Brooklyn Bridge,
Your olive skin,
Framed in black and white.
I miss how simple love can be.

Grade: B+.  Another sneaky good track that draws you in.

11. "Farewell, December".  An interesting choice to close the album down.  This song takes awhile to get going, but once it does (about halfway through), it's a pretty decent effort.  I like the sound, and I love the lyrics, so it's got that going for it.  But this ain't the track I'd close the effort out with.

Best line(s):
I felt alive for the first time in my life;
I held you tight, and the crowd sang Auld Lang Syne.
The sky was turning blue, like movie endings do.
This year was ours, ours, ours!
Farewell December.

Grade: B.

Overall: amongst the best $9.99 I've spent on iTunes in a very long time.  Every track save for "Heart Starts" earned at least a B-, and if I'm being fair, I was probably too harsh on a few of these grades.  This is almost a better album than "Modern Love", but not quite as good as "This Mad Hope".  Or "Live at the Point".

Overall Grade: B+.
Overall Grade, Theismann Scale: 12-4, conference two seed.

"cd" review: lionel richie's "tuskogee"

The first cd I ever  bought in my life … was when I was 15.  Lionel Richie’s “Back to Front”.  (Fine, do the math.  I’m 35 … first cd bought was 20 years ago, carry the one … yes, I’m f*cking old!  DEAL WITH IT!  Because God knows I can’t …)

So imagine my surprise when I realized that not only is Lionel Richie, ONLY my favorite recording artist* of all time, releasing a new cd … and having a concert on CBS (that I just finished watching) … but it’s a country cover CD of his greatest hits?  Oh hell to the mo fo yes, I am doing a CD review!

(*: the others in my top 10, not necessarily in order – Gavin DeGraw, Carole King, James Taylor, Paul McCartney, Jimmy Buffett, Eric Church, Stevie Nicks, Ben Harper, and Brandon Boyd of Incubus, who I think is a f*cking creative genius, and their “Live at Red Rocks” is one amazing composition of music.  Told you nobody can put together a playlist of stuff they love as diverse as I can …)

“Tuskogee” by Lionel Richie.

13 tracks, approximately 60 minutes.

Again, in the interest of full disclosure, you will NEVER find a bigger Lionel Richie fan than me.  The odds of any song on this cd review getting below a B … are the odds of me blowing below a .08 as I type this.  AKA “slim and none, and none is a 15 point favorite”.  I LOVE Lionel Richie, from the moment he took the stage on “Saturday Night Live” when I was almost six years old, he had the number one song in the nation with “Truly”, and Eddie Murphy (“guest” hosting the episode because the “supposed to host” Nick Nolte, his 48 hours co-star, was “too sick” to perform.  Sure he was …) welcomed him on stage.  “Truly” is Lionel’s finest hour.  It’s the greatest love song ever written.  I PRAY I someday find someone I can say the lyrics of “Truly” about.  Sadly, “Truly” isn’t on this cd … but go figure, my favorite Lionel song is!  Ooh, this is gonna be fun, an hour of Lionel Richie! 

(Also tragic?  No “We Are the World”!  How can you get the biggest names in country music, and NOT re-create THE defining song of a generation?  A song that Lionel wrote, and sung the first verse of?  That is an outrage!  And yes, to this day, if you blindfold me, I can identify every f*cking singer on the song before they appear, in the order they appear.  Let's just say, I like this song, a lot.)

Hang on, let me get prepared.  (Stevo pouring a quality sized glass of merlot …)  And we’re underway with …

Track 1: “You Are” featuring Blake Shelton.  This is not one of my favorite Lionel songs.  (The top 5?  “Dancin’ on the Ceiling”, “Truly”, “Penny Lover”, “Oh No (Crazy In Love)”, and “All Night Long”.  Only two of these appear in this cd release.  The man has SICK talent!  SICK!).

I should also note before I begin an official review here … that “The Voice of Reason” is my “Voice of Reason” for a, uuh, reason.  Namely, that I’m wrong more often than I’m right, whereas the inverse applies to him.  Having said that … one of my few successes in life?  Is converting said “Voice of Reason” into a Lionel fan during the time we were roommates.  When I’m right?  I’m REALLY right!

This cover is ok, to be honest.  Blake dumbed down this amazing song too much, and dumbed down is probably the wrong phrase, “quieted down” is probably more appropriate.  Having said that?  I would pay $25 to hear this live. 

Grade: B.  It won’t be a hit single … but you don’t want to slit your wrists after hearing Blake Shelton’s interpretation of it.  I have a feeling … that B is going to be the worst grade handed out tonight … and yes, this is a VERY biased grading scale being employed tonight …

Track 2: “Say You, Say Me”, featuring Jason Aldean.  This would be in my second tier of Lionel favorites.  Definitely in the 6-10 range, along with “Endless Love”, “Running With The Night”, “Sail On”, and “Stuck On You”.  Side Note: do you realize I’ve named ten – TEN! – Lionel songs, and have YET to mention “Three Times a Lady” or “Easy” or “Lady” or the criminitely underrated “My Destiny”?   And to think people wonder why I love this man’s music as much as I do …

Gotta be honest … if you saw the “Footloose” remake?  This is playing out like Hunter Hayes’ remake of “Almost Paradise”.  It’s not QUITE as good as the original … but it’s still really damned good, so freaking good that it’s almost on a level playing field with the original. 

Grade: A-.  That’s in the tailgating rotation if I have anything to say about it.  Oh.  Wait.  I set the tailgating rotation.  So yes, it’s in the tailgating rotation.

Track 3: “Stuck on You” featuring Darius Rucker.  Oh Sweet Jesus, do I have high hopes for this, and no, I haven’t been toking up tonight.  And Oh Sweet Jesus, does this deliver!  This, honestly?  Is one of those songs that you put the headphones on, close your eyes, and just nod in loving appreciation to, it’s that damned good.

It kind of falls apart at the end as they try to duel each other … but hell, I love this song.  I love this version of this song.  I’m mighty glad you covered this, Hootie.  MIGHTY glad!

Grade: B+.  I wouldn’t kick it out of bed for eating crackers.  Especially if my name was “Crackers”.  (“Jasson” and “The Voice of Reason” will appreciate that joke …)

Track 4: “Deep River Woman” featuring Little Big Town.  I have HUGE hopes for this … and not even five seconds in, the cover is paying off!  This is phenomenal!

OK, fine, I know I’m biased entering this, but I am tapping my foot along to the chorus.  This is awesome! 

This is incredible.  “The Voice of Reason” rated this as his second favorite track, behind … well, we’ll get there eventually (and we agree on said track, believe it or not.)  This?  Is why Lionel Richie’s talent, song-writing ability, and ability to cede his songs to a younger, different generation make him amazing in my eyes.

Grade: A.  As in amazing, awesome … insert “a” word here.

Track 5: “My Love” featuring Kenny Chesney.  Oh sweet Jesus.  This is my mom’s favorite Lionel song … and my mom is the person who turned me on to Lionel, by force-feeding him on the radio / cassette tape track driving me and my brother to school in the morning 25 some odd years ago.  The lesson?  As always – your mom usually knows greatness when she sees it. 

Or in this case, hears it.

And this track?  Is just about the truest to the original version heard so far … and that’s a good thing.  I’d pay to hear that again.  (Stevo realizing he just bought this cd on iTunes).  Oh, wait, I did.

Grade: A-.

Up next?  My FAVORITE Lionel Richie song … the “Tailgating Anthem Of My Life”, the song I make sure ALWAYS plays at a tailgate … its song 59-14 on the jukebox in the basement … it’s … “somebody turn on the lights – we’re gonna have a party, and its starting tonight!!!”  it’s …

Track 6: “Dancing on the Ceiling” featuring Rascal Flatts.  Look it, they could kill this with the revolver, in the lounge, and Miss Scarlett is running out of the room to avoid prosecution, and it’s not rating lower than a B.  Admitting it up front.  THIS is my FAVORITE Lionel song.  Not his BEST – his best isn’t on this cd (that would be “Truly”).  But this is my favorite.  And sorry, but I need to spend the next four minutes fist pumping and irritating the neighbors with my dancing on the floor … I mean ceiling …

Hang on, I need to rewind that track …

One more time …

OK, fine, just one more time …

“The only thing we want to do tonight?

Is go round and round, and turn it upside down!”

(Please, continue!!!  No, really, please!!!)

“So come on!  Let’s get loose!

Don’t hold back because there ain’t no use!

It’s hard to keep your feet on the ground,

Because when we like to party?

We only want to get down!

Oh!  What a feeling!

When we’re dancing on the ceiling!

Oh!  What a feeling!

When we’re dancing on the ceiling!!!!”

Grade: A f*cking plus.  No, it’s not a great vocal.  No, it’s not memorable.  But riddle me this Batman – if this version of “Dancin’ On The Ceiling” popped up on the tailgating playlist, would you be fist pumping and dancing and singing right along with me?  OF COURSE YOU WOULD!  This song is so freaking inspirational … so freaking uplifting … so freaking AWESOME! … that not only “The Voice of Reason”, but “The Ex” have zero issues with it being on the tailgating play list.  When the two people that are your (far) better half, want to “Dance on the Ceilin’!”  It’s epic.

Track 7: “Hello” featuring Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland.  “Run”, her duet with Matt Nathanson, is awesome.  This?  Is epic.

The best cover of this song (barring a major change) will be David Cook’s reinvention of it on “Idol” four years ago.  This?  Is as close to nailing it as you can come post-David Cook covering it.

Grade: A+.  Great stuff.  The "Voice of Reason" was right -- this track alone makes buying the entire cd worth the price.

Track 8: “Sail On” featuring Tim McGraw.  Other than “Go Your Own Way” or “Silver Springs” by Fleetwood Mac, THIS is THE greatest breakup song ever.  (Go figure – all three were released within a year of each other.  The late 70s musical hits were SO freaking underrated …)

This interpretation, though?  Didn’t work for me.  Probably because there’s no way Tim McGraw leaves Faith Hill at this point (whereas Lionel was dealing with his abusive ex-wife when this came out … yes, female beating up male spousal abuse.  Wait, I’m trying to praise Lionel here, let’s just move on …)

Grade: B-.  I’ve heard far better covers of this classic.

Track 9: “Endless Love” featuring Shania Twain.  Look it, I like Shania … but how the hell do you top Diana Ross?  The answer: you don’t.  But you at least take the field in said ballpark.  And this is not half bad.  It’s nowhere close to the original Lionel / Diana Ross version … but its superior to the Luther Vandross / Mariah Carey cover from the mid 1990s.  And that’s good enough for this liberal judge and jury.

Grade: B+.  The track has its charms, especially the ending, they nail it.

Track 10: “Just for You” featuring Billy Currington.  OK, I lied – there’s one cover getting below a B … and this is it.  Awful.

Grade: D.  Stunning – a Lionel song I can’t stand.

Track 11: “Lady” featuring Kenny Rogers.  In the interest of fairness, they already covered this on “Crossroads”.  And for anyone who doesn’t know, Lionel wrote “Lady” for Kenny Rogers.  Having said that …

Amazing.  Love, love, love the stripped down opening.  Love the stripped down first verse on both artist’s behalf.  This is really good.  Honestly, it opens like that Oscar winning song “Falling Slowly” that Kris Allen killed with the rope, on the stage, on “Idol” three years ago.  And that’s a good thing.

Grade: A-.  No complaints other than the “been there, heard that” factor from the “Crossroads” show a few years ago.

Track 12: “Easy” featuring Willie Nelson.  Uum, yes, please?

I’ll let Willie take it:

“Why in the world would anybody wanna put chains on me?

I paid my dues to make it …

Everybody wants me to be what they want me to be,

But I’m not happy when I try to fake it …”

Grade: B.  I liked the first half of the song far better than the last half.  It was too slowed down.  “Easy” is an uplifting anthem about a guy realizing he can be anything he wants to be.  This seemed too slow, too depressing.  Still enjoyable though.

Finally …

Track 13: “All Night Long” featuring Jimmy Buffett.  Quick, trivia time!  Can you name the official theme of the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles?  Absolutely it was “All Night Long”.  On top of everything, Lionel wrote and performed the official theme song* to a freaking Olympics!  How can you NOT love this man’s talent?

(*: in the interest of fairness, Peter Ueberroth ran the 1984 Olympic games (and based off of actually making the Olympics profitable for the first time, was hired as the commish of baseball shortly afterwards).  The man was a genius – all the “official sponsor” stuff you now see in sports?  Came because Ueberroth sold off “official sponsorships” to make the Olympics profitable ... then brought the practice to MLB.  If it wasn’t for that whole collusion crisis that led to the 1990 lockout and $280 milllion plus verdicts against the owners, he’d probably be very fondly remembered.)

Gotta be honest, this just isn’t working for me.  You would think that two of my favorite artists collaborating on a song every person knows would work … but it doesn’t.  This sounds too much like a “mail it in” job, a “I’m just here for the paycheck and the royalties” performance.

Grade: B-.  Should have been better than it was.

Overall verdict: are you kidding me?  It’s Lionel Effing Richie!  With every notable country music superstar known to man!  Of COURSE it’s getting at least a 10-6 wildcard worthy rating on the Theismann Rating Scale!

Overall, I’d give the CD a 12-4 mark.  The “Voice of Reason” is right – “Dancing on the Ceiling” is nowhere near as much fun as it should be (or as the original was) … but there’s a lot in this that cancels that out, not the least of which is Little Big Town’s take on “Deep River Woman”, Darius Rucker’s take of “Stuck on You”, Jennifer Nettles playing the role of the blind clay mold on “Hello”, and Kenny Chesney nailing “My Love” to second f*cking base.  Well worth the $10.30 on iTunes to download.  When both this site’s (not quite) humble blogger AND “The Voice of Reason” agree a cd is worth purchasing?  Trust us – it’s worth purchasing!

cd review: eric church's "chief"

Tonight I will be at the Y’allapalooza concert at Sandstone (so if you’re reading this and will be there, look me up.)

Until then, another long overdue cd review, for tonight’s main act: Eric Church.

Artist: Eric Church
CD: “Chief”
11 songs, 41 minutes (approximately)

1. “Creepin”. Not the song I would have led the cd off with. It starts extremely slow and sounds kind of, well, creepy. Once you get through the opening 30, 45 seconds though, it starts to grow on you, and the chorus explodes with energy, to its credit. Still, this song won’t be on any regular playlist I put together.

Best line(s): “Since the day you left me baby, I can feel the lonely,
I can hear the crazy, just a creepin’ creepin’.”

Grade: C+. We’re not off to a great start here.

2. “Drink in my Hand”. I LOVE, and I mean LO-YUVE, this song. It sounds so much like Neal McCoy’s “Wink”, and damn if it don’t deliver. From the moment this song gets underway, it drags you in, and by the time you hit the chorus, you’re raising a beer and singing right along. Outstanding track. Outstanding.

Best line(s): “You make me wanna go ooh ooh ooh
When you dance like that,
You’ve got that little tattoo
Playing peeky boo on your back.
If you want to impress me,
Honey here’s my plan –
All you have to do is
Put a drink in my hand.

Fill it up, or throw it down,
When you drive me home, take the long way around.
You be my Lois Lane, honey I’ll be your Superman --
All you have to do is put a drink in my hand.”

Grade: A+. This might be my favorite song he’s ever done, and I am fully aware “Sinners Like Me” is my ringtone.

3. “Keep On”. Speaking of sounding like a legendary country song, this song definitely sounds like the music to “Fancy”. Which is cool – if you’re going to channel a song for inspiration, you can do a helluva lot worse than Reba McIntyre. I liked this track. A nice, quick little tune (the shortest track on the cd), and it moves along quite nicely.

Best line(s): the final verse:
“Yeah I love the way the sun’s coming through today
And bouncin’ off the small of your back.
Yeah I know if I call in sick today,
The boss’ll have a heart attack.
Yeah I knew it was over when she rolled over,
And said baby why don’t you stay.
And keep on, keep on, keep on, keep on,
Lookin’ at me that way”

Grade: A-. This is the track that I have a feeling is going to grow on me, much like “Two Pink Lines” off his previous cd did.

4. “Like Jesus Does”. Oh goodie. Well, let’s do this. It opens very slow and painfully, so at least it opens like a Mass. I gotta admit, at the halfway point, I don’t hate this song nearly as much as I thought I would based on the title and the opening. It’s a decent slow song. And thankfully, has little to nothing to do with a certain failed ideology.

Best line(s): “Always thought she’d give up on me one day,
Wash her hands of me, leave me staring down some runway,
But I thank God each night, and twice on Sunday,
That she loves me like Jesus does.”

Grade: B. Far better than I expected it to be.

5. “Hungover and Hard Up”. Hey, the anthem of my life! Just kidding*. Unlike the prior track, this one started out with promise, and its tanking fast. I don’t particularly care for the sound. I don’t particularly care for the pace. And the lyrics really don’t draw you in.

(*: seriously, I do not get hangovers. I could be pounding it until 2 in the morning, and be wide awake and ready to go by 7. It scares me too sometimes.)

Best line(s): “Yeah the bottle in my hand is loaded,
And I’m afraid to use it tonight”.

Grade: C. A perfectly mediocre effort that I will probably never listen to again.

6. “Homeboy”. This was the first release off this cd, and man, is this song good. I know I tend to favor more up-tempo, high-energy songs, but this song is a perfect slow paced, strung out effort. It also helps that I love the lyrics to this one too.

Here’s what Mr. Church had to say about this track, and damned if it isn’t pretty much exactly what I think about it: “This song is about a man urged to consider the phrase “home, boy”. What was really interesting about that was it was about a journey that started in one place, and ends in a totally different place. What tied the whole song together was the chorus. I love writing a song where you’re in the middle of it and say “what now?”

Best line(s): “You can’t hold back the hands of time,
Mama’s going grey and so is daddy’s mind.
I wish you’d come on back and make it alright,
Before they’re called home … boy.”

Grade: A+.

7. “Country Music Jesus”. Oh goodie, another one. Hopefully this one surprised me in a positive way like track four did. And you know what? It did. Anytime you can use religious imagery to make a completely non-religious point, I’m cool with that. I really liked this track once it got going. Really fun track.

Best line(s): “We need a second coming worse than bad.
Some long haired hippie priest,
Preaching from the book of Johnny Cash.
A sheep among the wolves there standing tall –
We need a country music Jesus
To come and save us all”.

Grade: A-. A really fun track once it gets going.

8. “Jack Daniels”. Ooh, now this, on the basis of the title, has potential! (Although it won’t be my favorite track based on title track potential. Hang in there, we’re almost there, and I can tell you, said hopeful favorite track did wind up being my favorite.)

At a little over 5 minutes, this is by far and away the longest track on the cd. And you know what? When a song is this fun to listen to, I’m perfectly good with that. The lyrics are sweet. The music goes at just the right pace. This is a fun little track to sit around with a bottle of Jack and the title track to song 10 and have a fun night on the deck.

Best line(s): “Yeah, every Superman has got his kryptonite,
And Jack Daniels kicked my ass again last night.”

Grade: A+.

9. “Springsteen”. Well, let’s see where this goes. For the record, I like Springsteen, but I am not some die-hard, listening to his channel on XM 24/7 type of fan. Oh, and for the record, “Tunnel of Love” is one of the most criminitely underrated cd’s of the last 30 years. Anyways, back to this effort by Eric Church.

I love the opening sound, it totally sounds like the opening to a Springsteen track. And while I think the first verse was better than the second, this song is really good from start to finish. Really good. This actually might be the song that I wind up replaying twenty times before I even realize it, it’s that easy to listen to.

Best line(s): “I was singing to you, you were singing to me.
I was so alive, never been more free.
Fired up my daddy’s lighter, we sang oh whoa whoa,
Stayed out there ‘til they forced us out.
Took the long way to your house,
I can still hear the sound of you sayin’ don’t go.

When I think about you, I think about seventeen.
I think about my old Jeep, I think about the stars in the sky.
Funny how the melody sounds like a memory,
Like a soundtrack to a July Saturday night.
Springsteen.”

Grade: A+. He’s knocking this thing out of the park at this point.

10. “I’m Getting Stoned”. Oh sweet Jesus. Here’s the thing – one reason why I love music from the late 60s / early 70s so much, is because the artists had to be more creative back then to get their point across. Case in point – “Mr. Tamborine Man”. Everyone knows it’s about a junkie needing a fix from his dealer, but you couldn’t just say that back then, so you had to get cute and creative with the wording. This song hearkens back to those days. I absolutely loved this song. It’s incredibly good. Incredibly good.

Best line(s): “Here’s to happy ever after,
And here’s to balls and chains.
And here’s to all us haters,
Of old lovers’ new last names.
And here’s to holding up
And getting right where I belong –
Cause she got a rock,
And I’m getting stoned.”

Grade: A+. I swear, I’m not grading on a liberal curve here, these tracks really are this good.

11. “Over When Its Over”. A fitting title, since it’s the last track on the cd. And this song comes out of nowhere to win you over. It starts extremely slow paced, and then he starts to sing, and it totally draws you in. This is the sleeper track on this cd – he could have a massive hit if he releases this. If not, it’ll wind up like “Love Hurts” off “Light Grenades” by Incubus, the great “could have been”.

Best line(s): “Now it’s over when it’s over,
Ain’t it baby, ain’t it.
Rips you like a dagger,
Can it baby, can it.
Wish we could do it over,
Dammit baby, dammit.
We had it in the air,
But we just couldn’t land it.

It’s the white flag, it’s a stop sign.
It’s the last long drag on a Marlboro Light.
It’s a long night, beating up the past,
Now when the first lie is gonna hit you back,
This ain’t no gone for drill,
Or no goodbye for tomorrow. It’s over.”

Grade: A+.

Final thought(s): as much as I loved Matt Nathanson’s new cd, and I really dug Ben Harper’s (still to be reviewed) … this one has emerged as the frontrunner for my favorite download of the year. The last six songs all earned their A’s, and 8 of the 11 tracks I gave an A to. No effort earned worse than a C. The worst song on this cd is better than the best on many cd’s I own.

Final verdict: download and enjoy as soon as f*cking possible, the highest designation I can give a musical effort. Preferably on the back deck on a nice summer evening, with an adult beverage, a couple friends, and some green. You won’t regret the 40 minutes spent that way with this cd.