half assed nfl season predictions

Alright, let's finally get these posted.

Most years, this is a drawn out, 8-10 post piece with some reason, rhyme, and rhythm to it.  This year, it isn't.  I'm just gonna post the schedule runs, then post my, uuh, postseason picks, and then we'll move on, because let's face it, these bad boys are three weeks overdue, and with the way life is working for me right now, if I wait any longer, these may never go up.

Also, as much proof as I can offer, that this schedule run was done before the season began, and has remained unchanged since:

Here we go.

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NFC East.

* Projected Champion: Philadelphia Eagles.

* Other Projected Playoff Teams: Dallas Cowboys.

* Preseason Teams Power Ranking Positions: 

3. Philadelphia Eagles.

9. Dallas Cowboys.

28. New York Giants.

32. Washington Redskins.

* Coaches Power Ranking Positions:

8. Doug Pederson, Eagles.

18. Mike McCarthy, Cowboys.

19. "Riverboat" Ron Rivera, Redskins.

31. Joe Judge "Judy", Giants.

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NFC Norris.

* Projected Champion: Green Bay Packers.

* Other Projected Playoff Teams: none.

* Preseason Teams Power Ranking Positions: 

10. Green Bay Packers.

17. Minnesota Vikings.

23. Chicago Bears.

26. Detroit Lions.

* Coaches Power Ranking Positions:

11. Matt LaFleur, Packers.

14. Mike Zimmer, Vikings.

16. Matt Nagy, Bears.

26. Matt Patricia, Lions.

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NFC South.

* Projected Champion: Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

* Other Projected Playoff Teams: none.

* Preseason Teams Power Ranking Positions:

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

14. New Orleans Saints.

20. Atlanta "Shane" Falcons.

29. Carolina Panthers.

* Coaches Power Ranking Positions:

10. Sean Payton, New Orleans Saints.

17. Bruce Arians, Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

22. Dan Quinn, Atlanta "Shane" Falcons.

30. Matt Rhule, Carolina Panthers.

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NFC West.

* Projected Champion: Seattle Seahawks.

* Other Projected Playoff Teams: San Francisco 49ers, Los Angeles Rams.

* Preseason Teams Power Ranking Positions:

6. San Francisco 49ers.

11. Los Angeles Rams.

12. Seattle Seahawks.

19. Arizona "Super" Cardinals.

* Coaches Power Ranking Positions:

5. Pete Carroll, Seattle Seahawks.

13. Sean McVay, Los Angeles Rams.

15. Kyle Shanahan, San Francisco 49ers.

23. Kliff Kingsbury, Arizona "Super" Cardinals.

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NFC Postseason.

Playoff Seeding:

* 1. 11-5 NFC East Champion Philadelphia Eagles (tiebreaker over Tampa Bay Buccaneers via Conference Record).

* 2. 11-5 NFC South Champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

* 3. 10-6 NFC West Champion Seattle Seahawks (tiebreaker over San Francisco 49ers and Los Angeles Rams via Conference Record).

* 4. 9-7 NFC Norris Champion Green Bay Packers (tiebreaker over Chicago Bears via Conference Record).

* 5. 10-6 San Francisco 49ers (tiebreaker over Los Angeles Rams via Strength of Victory).

* 6. 10-6 Los Angeles Rams.

* 7. 9-7 Dallas Cowboys (tiebreaker over New Orleans Saints via Record Amongst Common Opponents, tiebreaker over Chicago Bears via Conference Record).

Non Playoff Teams:

* 9-7 New Orleans Saints.

* 9-7 Chicago Bears.

* 8-8 Minnesota Vikings.

* 8-8 Detroit Lions.

* 8-8 Arizona "Super" Cardinals.

* 4-12 Washington Redskins.

* 4-12 Carolina Panthers.

* 4-12 Atlanta "Shane" Falcons.

* 3-13 New York Giants.

The Games:

* 6 Rams 31, at 3 Seahawks 14 (Sat 1/9, 3:30pm CT, FOX).

* 7 Cowboys 38, at 2 Buccaneers 31 (Sat 1/9, 7pm CT, ESPN / ABC).

* 5 49ers 30, at 4 Packers 20 (Sun 1/10, 7pm CT, NBC).

* 7 Cowboys 31, at 1 Eagles 21 (Sat 1/16, 7pm CT, FOX).

* 6 Rams 34, at 5 49ers 27 (Sun 1/17, 3:30pm CT, FOX).

* 7 Cowboys 21, at 6 Rams 34 (Sunday 1/24, 2pm CT, FOX).

NFC Champion: 6 Los Angeles Rams.

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AFC East.

* Projected Champion: New England Patriots.

* Other Projected Playoff Teams: none.

* Preseason Teams Power Ranking Positions:

8. New England Patriots.

15. Buffalo Bills.

22. New York Jets.

24. Miami Dolphins.

* Coaches Power Ranking Positions:

2. Bill Belichick, New England Patriots.

7. Sean McDermott, Buffalo Bills.

20. Brian Flores, Miami Dolphins.

29. Adam Gase, New York Jets.

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AFC Norris.

* Projected Champion: Pittsburgh Steelers.

* Other Projected Playoff Teams: Baltimore Ravens, Cleveland Browns.

* Preseason Teams Power Ranking Positions:

2. Baltimore Ravens.

7. Pittsburgh Steelers.

27. Cleveland Browns.

30. Cincinnati Bengals.

* Coaches Power Ranking Positions:

4. John Harbaugh, Baltimore Ravens.

6. Omar Epps Mike Tomlin, Pittsburgh Steelers.

27. Zac Taylor, Cincinnati Bengals.

32. Kevin Stefanski, Cleveland Browns.

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AFC South.

* Projected Champion: Houston Texans.

* Other Projected Playoff Teams: Tennessee Titans.

* Preseason Teams Power Ranking Positions:

5. Tennessee Titans.

13. Houston Texans.

21. Indianapolis Colts.

31. Jacksonville Jaguars.

* Coaches Power Ranking Positions:

3. Bill O'Brien, Houston Texans.

9. Mike Vrabel, Tennessee Titans.

12. Frank Reich, Indianapolis Colts.

28. Doug Marrone, Jacksonville Jaguars.

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AFC West.

* Projected Champion: Kansas City Chiefs.

* Other Projected Playoff Teams: none.

* Preseason Teams Power Ranking Positions:

1. Kansas City Chiefs.

16. las vegas raiders.

18. those people.

25. Los Angeles "Super" Chargers.

* Coaches Power Ranking Positions:

1. "Fat" Andy Reid, Kansas City Chiefs.

21. jon gruden, las vegas raiders.

24. Anthony Lynn, Los Angeles "Super" Chargers.

25. vic fangio, those people.

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AFC Postseason.

Playoff Seeding:

* 1. 11-5 AFC West Champion Kansas City Chiefs.

* 2. 10-6 AFC Norris Champion Pittsburgh Steelers (tiebreaker over Baltimore Ravens via Record Amongst Common Opponents).

* 3. 9-7 AFC South Champion Houston Texans (tiebreaker over Tennessee Titans via Divisional Record, tiebreaker over New England Patriots via H2H Victory Week 11).

* 4. 9-7 AFC East Champion New England Patriots.

* 5. 10-6 Baltimore Ravens.

* 6. 9-7 Tennessee Titans (tiebreaker over Cleveland Browns and those people via 2-0 H2H record).

* 7. 9-7 Cleveland Browns (tiebreaker over those people via Conference Record).

Non Playoff Teams:

* 9-7 those people.

* 8-8 Buffalo Bills.

* 8-8 New York Jets.

* 8-8 Cincinnati Bengals.

* 8-8 Indianapolis Colts.

* 8-8 las vegas raiders.

* 7-9 Miami Dolphins.

* 4-12 Los Angeles "Super" Chargers.

* 2-14 Jacksonville Jaguars.

The Games:

* 6 Titans 20, at 3 Texans (Sat 1/9, noon CT, NBC).

* 7 Browns 6, at 2 Steelers 31 (Sun 1/10, noon CT, CBS).

* 5 Ravens 17, at 4 Patriots 20 (Sun 1/10, 3:30pm CT, ESPN / ABC).

* 3 Texans 24, at 2 Steelers 20 (Sat 1/16, 3:30pm CT, CBS).

* 4 Patriots 17, at 1 Chiefs 38 (Sun 1/17, noon CT, NBC).

* 3 Texans 24, at 1 Chiefs 41 (Sunday 1/24, 5:40pm CT, CBS).

AFC Champion: 1 Kansas City Chiefs.

--------------------

Super Bowl LV.

* 6 Los Angeles Rams 20, 1 Kansas City Chiefs 45.

Super Bowl Champion: Kansas City Chiefs.

a fond fair look back part dos

"While she lays sleeping,
I stay out late at night,
And play my songs.

And sometimes, oh the nights,
Can be so long.
And it's good when I finally make it home,

All alone ...

While she lays dreaming.
I try to get undressed
Without the light.

And quietly she says,
How was your night?
And I come to her and say, it was alright,

And I hold her tight ...

And she believes in me!
I'll never know just what she sees in me!
I told her someday, if she was my girl?
I could change the world, with my little songs!

But I was wrong ...

Yet she has faith in me!
And so I go on trying faithfully!
And who knows -- maybe?  On some special night?
If my song is right?  I will find a way!

Find a way ..."

-- "She Believes in Me" by Kenny Rogers.  Gun to my head, it's my favorite song by Kenny.  If only because it so applies to my own life, far, far too many times in this life, so, uuh, far.  And also, the Scotty McCreary version from "Idol" is kick ass as well ...

--------------------

Last week, I took a fond, fair look back at all the 2019 NFL Predictions I got so, so incorrect.  You can re-read (or read for the first time) that post by clicking here.

Today?  We take a fond, fair look back at all the 2019 NFL Predictions I so, so nailed.  Buckle up kiddos.  This one could get lengthy.

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The three look-back categories are:

* Predicted Order of Finish (Division and Conference).
* Predicted Regular Season Record.
* Predicted Postseason Finish.

We'll begin with the first of those, and work our way through to the last.

--------------------

For the record, I got sixteen -- sixteen! -- out of the thirty two NFL teams finishing position inside their division exactly right.  Including the entire AFC East ... and the entire AFC West.  (Pause).  What?  (Pause).  (the late, great senator edward m. kennedy voice) You can bet your ass I picked the Los Angeles "Blooper" Chargers to finish dead last!  Maybe in five years, people will realize how awful an owner Dean Spanos is, how incompetent a general manager Tom Telesco is, and how inept of a coach Anthony Lynn is.  Until then, let the media continue to perform a sex act on the franchise every offseason!  It's always hilarious to watch in hindsight!

The teams I nailed the finishing position correctly for, by division:

* AFC East: Dolphins (4th), Jets (3rd), Bills (2nd), Patriots (1st).  Yes, a blind squirrel could have nailed the Dolphins and Patriots' finishes, and yes, even the most sanity challenged amongst us (hey, that's me!) could have tossed a coin and had it come up Bills over Jets.  But still.  I'll take victory where I can get it.

* AFC Norris: Bengals (4th), Steelers (2nd).  When all is said and done in a couple paragraphs for the AFC, you will see I nailed 12/16 divisional finishes.  That's damned impressive if you ask me.  Sh*t, that's damned impressive even if you don't ask me.

* AFC South: Colts (3rd), Texans (1st).  As a Chiefs fan, the AFC West should be my favorite division.  As a football fan, the AFC South is my favorite division.  Every year it's a clusterf*ck of Biblical proportions.  Every year, any team can win it -- they're all perfectly mediocre.  Any of them can go 6-10; any of them can go 10-6; none of them will do better than in between those two records.  It's ... well, in the words of the legendary Anthony J. Bruno: it's "beautiful".

* AFC West: Chargers (4th), raiders (3rd), those people (2nd), Chiefs (1st).  One would hope, after pushing forty years of unquestionable Chiefs fandom, that I'd know this division like I know the back of my left hand.  Which, sadly, I probably know too well.

* NFC East: Redskins (4th), Giants (3rd).  You know, I almost hate to do this, but it might be the last chance in at least my lifetime to have the opportunity, so here goes.  Thank you Daniel Snyder, thank you, for bringing "Sur" William Callahan back into our lives for three months.  I mean this with all due sincerity -- I fear our kids are going to fail to appreciate just how sh*tty a head coach Bill Callahan is.  Not was, not may become -- is.  He destroyed raider nation.  He destroyed Nebraska football. 

Again, with all seriousness -- how many coaches can claim they have destroyed one institutional franchise in the sport, one dynasty in the sport, one instantly recognizable program in the sport, let alone two!  The man so destroyed the raiders in two years that they went from AFC Champs, to one playoff berth in 18 years since.  The man took over a Nebraska program that hadn't failed to appear in a bowl since my parents were in junior high (and they're both in their seventies).  He promptly missed a bowl.  He missed two of them in his four years at the helm.  To "Sur" William's credit, he did win the Big XII North in 2006.  It is the last championship of ANY kind Nebraska has won. 

As a Chiefs fan who has experienced way too many lows prior to this past season (* cough 2012 cough *), you have to look for the positives in a lost season.  Getting to watch "Sur" Willy do his thing for the Redskins this past fall?  Was appointment television in the Casa de Stevo.

* NFC Norris: Lions (4th).  Back in the day (aka "two months ago"), when I still went into the office every morning versus working from home, I'd pass by the same homeless dude every morning at the bus stop at 39th and Broadway.  On nice mornings when I had the roof open and the windows down, you could hear him shouting at noone in particular, clearly off his meds.  (Or probably more accurately, on a med of some kind.)  I mention this, because even that crazy dude?

Would have picked the Detroit Lions, to finish dead last.  This is not an accomplishment or an achievement ... unless you count me giving in to common sense at long last to be an accomplishment and/or an achievement.  And on that, you might have a point.

* NFC South: none.  The division I clearly know nothing about.  I'd better bone up on it; the Chiefs play the NFC South this fall * .

(*: I haven't done my Chiefs Dream Schedule yet, because the NFL Schedule Release is still three weeks away.  But this scenario makes total sense to me, and will probably guide me in creating said Chiefs Dream Schedule over the next couple weeks, to be posted before the actual Schedule is released the first week of May.  Oh, and in this scenario linked in this footnote, I'd predict "Shane" Falcons at Chiefs if the season opens September 10th, and I'd predict Texans at Chiefs on Thursday Night Football in Week Five, if the opener is pushed back to then.)

* NFC West: "Super" Cardinals (4th).  The worst prognosticator you know (hey that's me!) couldn't screw this one up

* Conference Finish (Playoff Seed): Chiefs (2nd AFC).   I got exactly one conference seed right -- our Kansas City Chiefs.  That's it.  I got a lot of playoff teams right.  I even nailed an exact matchup, date, and time, in the season preview predictions for crying out loud.  But I got the seeds wrong on that matchup.  I guess if you're gonna get one right?  Make sure it's the team you pay thousands of dollars to support in person every year.

--------------------

When it comes to record predictions made last September, I nailed four teams exactly right.  I also had eight more within a game either way of their actual finish (ten if you count ties, and I'm going to, to make myself look even better than I already do.)

Teams Whose Records I Got Exactly Right:

* AFC East: Bills (10-6-0).  We're not done with Buffalo yet in this post.

* AFC Norris: none.  Considering I missed the Ravens finish by nine bleeping games, this is not even remotely surprising.

* AFC South: Colts (7-9-0).  Good luck with Phyllis guys.

* AFC West: raiders (7-9-0).  Good luck with Mariota guys.

* NFC East: Redskins (3-13-0).  You fire one incompetent Allen (Bruce); you trade for a mediocre (at best) one (Kyle).  In the words of Sonny and Cher: "the beat goes on".

* NFC Norris: none.  Can't say I'm surprised.

* NFC South: none.  This is the only division I failed to predict at least one team's final record, within one game of their actual record.  Again, gotta study up on these people before the regular season starts, considering we play this division this fall.

* NFC West: none.  Nobody's perfect.

Teams Whose Records I Got Within One Game Either Way:

* AFC East: Dolphins (Predicted 5-11-0 / Finished 4-12-0); Jets (Predicted 8-8-0 / Finished 7-9-0).  I nailed the AFC East order exactly.  Three of the four teams I either nailed their record exactly, or came within a game of nailing it.  And the only team whose record I whiffed on, I missed by two games.  Not too shabby.  Also, you can just copy this paragraph when we get to the AFC West, because the exact same thing is true for that division.

* AFC Norris: Bengals (Predicted 3-13-0 / Finished 2-14-0).  Poor Joe Burrow.  He deserves better than this sad sack franchise.

* AFC South: Texans (Predicted 11-5-0 / Finished 10-6-0).  Poor Deshaun Watson.  He deserves better than this rapidly deteriorating situation.

* AFC West: those people (Predicted 8-8-0 / Finished 7-9-0); Chiefs (Predicted 11-5-0 / Finished 12-4-0).  Quick -- can you name the last team other than those people or the Chiefs to win the division ... and the year they did it?  (Hint: it's been over a decade.)  And ... time.  The answer?  Your "Blooper" Chargers in 2009.  I don't see the dominance of the Chiefs and/or those people over this division ending before at least 2021 ... and that presumes the raiders find a semi-competent quarterback.

* NFC East: Eagles (Predicted 10-6-0 / Finished 9-7-0).  Three straight playoff appearances despite Carson Wentz' inability to stay healthy.  That's some solid coaching right there.

* NFC Norris: Lions (Predicted 2-14-0 / Finished 3-12-1); Vikings (Predicted 9-7-0 / Finished 10-6-0).  I never thought I'd type these words, but after the last two years in Detroit, it's a fair question to ask: did Jim "Corpse" Caldwell actually know what he was doing?  Could it be that Ol' Corpsy wasn't that bad of a head coach?  Or is Matt Patricia that f*cking retarded at his job?  (Pause).   Yeah, it's gotta be the latter.  There's no way Jimbo was competent.

* NFC South: none.  As noted, I know nothing about this division.

* NFC West: "Super" Cardinals (Predicted 4-12-0 / Finished 5-10-1).  I have a good buddy who lives in Arizona, is a Cardinals season ticket holder, and to say he's excited about the "Super" Cardinals future, is an understatement.  He should be excited.  They're at least catching and passing the Rams this fall.

--------------------

Finally, the Postseason.

Playoff Teams I Got Right:

* AFC East: Patriots, Bills.  We're still not done with the Bills yet.

* AFC Norris: none.  You whiff on the Ravens by nine games, and the Browns by five, you're probably not getting the division right.

* AFC South: Texans.  He may be a god-awful general manager, but as long as Bill O'Brien is the head coach, you can mark the Texans down to host the postseason opener with a sharpie.  Because as long as Bill O'Brien roams the sidelines, the Texans are winning the AFC South.

* AFC West: Chiefs.  Peoples and peppettes?  We aren't through with the Chiefs yet either.  And man -- ain't we lucky we got 'em?  Good Times!!!!

* NFC East: none.  My NFC Postseason picks were, uuh, atrocious.

* NFC Norris: Packers.  The only NFC Postseason pick I was remotely successful in seeing occur.

* NFC South: none.  If my life depended on predicting the NFC South, I'd have been dead nine months ago.

* NFC West: 49ers.  I was far higher on the 49ers than most folks, but not even I saw their postseason run coming.

Playoff Predictions I Got Right:

* Bills at Texans to Open the Postseason.  I got the teams, the location, and the time slot exactly correct for the Postseason's first game.  I should probably bet the ponies, puppies, roosters, and/or rubber chickens more, because that's one hell of a trifecta to nail.

* Chiefs over Texans in Divisional Round.  I not only got this pick right ... but I had the Chiefs scoring 49.  They scored 51.  I had the Texans scoring 38.  They scored 31.  Meaning I had both teams within a score of where they finished.  Circle me impressed Bert.  Circle me impressed.

* Packers Losing the NFC Title Game.  I had them falling to Dallas, not San Francisco, but hey -- I got the outcome right!

* Chiefs Winning the AFC Championship.  I had them beating the Patriots, not the Titans, but hey -- I got the outcome right!

* Chiefs Winning the Super Bowl by Exactly 11 Points.  Again, I was off by a score: I had the final at 38-27 instead of 31-20 ... but still.  I got the outcome and margin of victory right!

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And so, (mitch holtgus voice) for all intents and purposes, 2019 now has the book shut on it on this site.  There's still a few things ** I might go back and blog about ... but what I wanted to post, I pretty much have. 

(**: I really want to recap the trip to Nashville, and I'd love to do a "running diary" of how I spent the 4th Quarter of the Super Bowl.  I just don't know where I'll find the time ... or more specifically, the energy, to do it.  Because both that weekend in Nashville, and that fourth quarter, were one hell of a roller coaster ride.)

It's time to look forward to (barbara walters voice) 2020.  The first wave of free agency is all but over, and the Chiefs somehow -- despite having less cap room at one point than I have money in my checking account, and no, I don't have a comma in my bank balance most days -- somehow, the Chiefs are returning 19 of 22 starters next fall.  The Draft is in five days, and either Brett Veach will finally pull the trigger on a first round pick ... or he'll trade it to gain more capital (which I hope he does).  The Schedule Release is in three weeks; I wish it was sooner, given how cheap flights and hotel bookings are right now *** , because the Chiefs travel to Tampa and New Orleans this fall, and I want to make at least one of those two, if not both.

(***: my brother and I were looking at bookings for Vegas in mid to late May.  Right now you can get a room at $17 / night come May 15th at The Flamingo.  That is crazy insane.  And yes, I would risk my life to play some pai gow or blackjack right now.  Kansas City has shut down 2.5 million people to accommodate 1,500.  This shutdown is f*cking nuts, it is f*cking indefensible, it is probably unconstitutional, and it needs to end yesterday.  #reopennow)

As much fun as 2019 was though, there's one thing to never forget, Chiefs fans.  One thing nobody can ever take away from us.

Cue the Queen Voice!

We are the Champions!
We are the Champions!
No time for (those people),
Because we are the Champions?

Of the world ...

the final fo'

"Every single time I see you?
I start to feel this way.
It makes me wonder if I'm ever
Gonna feel this way again!

There's a picture,
And it's hanging,
In the back of my head --
I see it over and over ...

I want to hold you,
To love you, in my arms and then?
I want to need you, 'cause I need to?
Be with you 'til the end!

But then I hear myself reply,
You've got to hold it in!
But this time?
Tonight? ...

(If Only!)
I had the guts to feel this way!
(And If Only!)
You'd look at me and want to stay!

(And If Only!)
I'd take you in my arms and say?
I won't go, 'cause I need you --
'Cause I need you now! ..."

-- "If Only" by Hanson.  (Pause).  Don't judge.  1999 was one fun as f*ck year for me ... that, and this song is still damned good, twenty plus years later ...

--------------------

And then, there were four.

In the words of that prestigious law firm that Rebecca Howe worked for, "Emerson, Lake, and Palmer" * ?  "Welcome back my friends!  To the show that never ends!  We're so glad you could attend!  Come inside!  Come inside!"

A week's worth of postings has been building to this: the finale of Chiefs Bracketology (The Race To Crown My Favorite Game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era).  We will crown a champion today, come hell, high water, or death by infectious disease, dammit ** ! 

Anyways, in case you're just tuning in -- welcome!  And here is what you would have missed so far, if you are in that category:

* The Thirty One Automatic Bids.
* The Thirty Seven At Large Qualifiers.
* Bracketology.
* From Sixty Eight to Sixteen on the Right Side.
* From Sixty Eight to Sixteen on the Left Side.
* From Sixteen to 'Fo.

And now, the finale, of Chiefs Bracketology.

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(*: the "Cheers" finale holds up shockingly well.  Rebecca coming unhinged at the realization she's going to marry a plumber still has me crying from laughter thirty years later.  "Looks like we're not getting any work out of her today. / Yeah, and she doesn't start that 'til noon!".) 

(** ok, probably not in the last case, but still, we're crowning a champ today, dammit!  That, or my name isn't Gumby, dammit!  (Pause).  Fine, my name isn't Gumby ... but dammit, my fingers are hurting from typing this much in the last week!  

In all seriousness -- I have no idea how "Reputable CBS Sportsline Columnist" does this every week.  It's painful.  Typing 30k plus words in a week hurts!  I swear, my hand(s) haven't hurt this much since ... well, let's not go there ... but circa 1999.  I mean for f*ck's sake, I liked most of the boy bands at the turn of the century!  I'm shocked -- shocked! -- there was rarely a girl in sight back then!  (Pause).  What?  (Pause).  Oh hell yes, I can still do every dance move to "Bye Bye Bye"!  I still do that at every Chiefs Tailgate!  And ... I'm sleeping next to a pillow tonight  You think those facts are connected?)

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The Final Four.

* 4 vs Chargers Week 1 2016 over 1 at those people Week 4 2018.

Believe it or not, this was not a difficult choice for me.  That Chargers game was so damned fun, it actually trumped beating my most hated sports team in their building, while I witnessed it.

And "fun", is what this exercise in typing is trying to resolve -- the funnest game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era.

Also, to be fair, this is definitely the undercard, to the main event.  Larry Merchant *** , Jim Lampley, and Harold Lederman might have scored this upset right but ...

(***: I contend the reason boxing has fallen apart as a sporting event, is due to the demise of it mattering on HBO.  I actually think not only "The Voice of Reason", but Mr. Reason's father, would agree with me on this.  There was NEVER a boxing match on HBO we missed for a solid twenty years.  Sh*t, up to and including PPV.  The late, great "Mean" Gene Okerlund had nothing on the boxing PPV purchases back then.  Again, I know I'm right on this.  Anyway ...)

... but the remaining Final Four game, makes Buster Douglas over Mike Tyson seem reasonable ...

* 2 vs Texans AFC Divisional 2019 over 1 vs 49ers Super Bowl LIV 2019.

Hang on, I might need to get some protection to avoid the projectiles and (indianapolis colts gameday program voice) "missile like objects" headed my way, for this choice.

(And trust me friends, peoples, peepettes, and people more under the influence of whatever, than me right now stumbling onto this: I have made many, many, many, many, many choices in life that are far, far, far, far, far more regrettable, than liking the Texans triumph two months ago, more than the Super Bowl victory a month ago.)

All I can truly say is this: if you were there for that second quarter, you not only get why this upset is my choice, but you can see the path to victory in this Bracketology for the Texans game, from a mile away. 

You want a game for the ages?  You got it -- from down 24 to up 27 in the span of 30 minutes.  You want moments of a lifetime?  You got it -- Dirty Danny Sorenson's fake punt tackle, and not even ninety seconds later, his forced fumble on the kickoff return that Darwin Thompson returned to the six.  You want announcers who actually sound like they're enjoying their job?  I honestly thought Tony Romo was gonna scream himself as hoarse on the call, as I did shouting myself silent inside of Arrowhead that afternoon.

And you want to see Terrorhead at its finest?  Every godd*mned second from Dirty Dan's fake punt tackle, until Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" put the Chiefs up for good with his third touchdown toss to Travis Kelce ... of the last eight minutes.

I tried to convey my feelings about that game ... and pretty much failed, because I just didn't do it right.  Maybe someday I will remedy that, and recap just the Texans game, rather than lumping Houston and Tennessee together. 

But for this post?  Just know this -- I have said for decades that I could die a happy man if the Chiefs would simply bring Lamar's Trophy home once, with me present to see it.  That happened, on January 19, 2020.  Then I noted that I could really die a happy man, if they'd steal that Lombardi dude's Trophy too.  That happened, on February 2, 2020.

Both of those happened within the last three months.

And both of those games?  Lost in this Bracketology, to the game that preceded it, on January 12, 2020. 

THAT?  Is how much the Texans Divisional Game means to me.  Not even the game I denoted as "The Catalyst" (and on that, I know I'm 100% right), not even that game, had a chance against the Titans or 49ers.  The Texans game not only lived up to the hype; it somehow surpassed it in a way few games and/or sporting events I give a f*ck about ever have!

And again, if you need a refresher, this is to figure out my favorite game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era.  Not the best -- clearly that is the Super Bowl, and only a person with an IQ below that of a crash test dummy would deny that.  But favorite? 

Give me the Texans.  Give me 51 unanswered points, trailing by 24.  Give me the raw, pure emotion of Dirty Dan sniffing out the fake punt, of Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" finding the end zone four times in nine minutes down 24.  Give me what the crowd felt like that day (and believe me, if you weren't crying, you have no idea what emotions are).

Give me EVERYTHING that day was, over the game three weeks later, than many of you would have picked in this matchup of epic, fun, "want to relive it forever" Chiefs games!

(Pause).

I suppose it goes without saying, that y'all know how this is going to end ...

The Championship.

* 2 vs Texans AFC Divisional 2019 over 4 vs Chargers Week 1 2016.

The two greatest comebacks in franchise history.  One from down 21 in the second half; one from down 24 in the first.  One matters slightly more than the other, don't you think? 

Oh, and even as a "Sir" Alex Smith apologist (and someone who prays "Sir" Alex somehow, someway, is leading us in "The Chop" on Thursday, September 10th): Mahomes Trumps Smith.  Because of course he did ... and does.  Even Mr. Miyagi knows the mentor eventually is felled by the student.

Winner of Chiefs Bracketology (The Race to Crown My Favorite Game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era): 2 vs Texans AFC Divisional 2019.

--------------------

And so, Chiefs Bracketology draws to a close.  I truly hope you enjoyed this.  There's so much in life right now that drives you to drink, drives you to complain, drives you to b*tch, p*ss and moan in utter and total frustration.  Trust me -- I get it.  As someone who has been mandated to work from home come Wednesday, to adhere to Mayor Lucas' (absolutely correct) decision to shut down gatherings of over 1,000 people (the PennTower complex, plus Penn Valley CC, has more than a thousand folks every day), I get it.  Life is a b*tch sometimes.

I just hope that for a few moments each night, this at least made you think about fun pointless sh*t like ranking Chiefs games, revising epic Chiefs games, debating which Chiefs game best (jim valvano voice) moved our emotions to tears ... you know, anything but the ugliness invading our world at this point, how fun ignoring the obvious can be.

I also hope you had as much fun reading these posts, as I did, uuh, posting them.  This was fun.  This series this week reminded me of what this site used to be like: find something that amused me, crack a few jokes, and explain why said thing amused me.  Sometimes I think my real-life struggles, real-life anger management issues towards certain people, my real-life f*ck ups and failures, tend to drag this place down to a level I don't desire it to reside at. 

My hope in this near year -- this site's 13th! -- is that it return to the fun, interesting, cool read it used to be.  I mean hell, you've already gotten almost as many posts out of me by mid March of 2020, as you got for all of 2019.  Detailing the run-up to the Playoff Games and the Super Bowl was fantastic.  Reliving the funnest, most awesome moments of the last seven years of Chiefs Football has been soul-inspiring.  Love or hate my selections?  Thank God above we HAVE 68 plus games of fun, frivolity, and outright kick-ass football to celebrate!  (Because we didn't from 2006-2012 ... really from 1998-2012, if we're being honest.)

Below is how the final Chiefs Bracketology played out (sorry for the small font, but I had to fit it in one capture, and my monitor is only 20"):

(Yellow highlighting denotes survive and advance.)

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Oh, and one last thing: don't worry.  I'm not gonna pull a Rany on you.

The best is yet to be ... at least on this site ...

the wild card picks

"Well if you wanna drink?
Go baby!  Just do your thing!
But give up your keys --
Hell, why drive when you can stay with me!

And then after awhile?
We'll sneak away from the bonfire.
Walk by the moonlight,
And down to the riverside.

Gotcha sippin' on some moonshine --
Baby, if you're in the mood
And you can settle
For a one night rodeo?

You could be my tan-legged Juliet,
And I'll be your redneck Romeo!

Oh baby!  You can find me
In the back of a jacked up tailgate!
Sittin' 'round watching all these pretty things?
Get down in that Georgia clay!

And I'll find peace,
At the bottom of a real tall cold drink!
Chillin' with some Skynyrd
And some old Hank!

Let's get this thing started!
It's my kind of party!!! ..."

-- "My Kind of Party", made famous by Jason Aldean, but written (and performed much better) by Brantley Gilbert.

--------------------

The Statisticals.

(Note: no Week Ten Picks were submitted due to real-life issues that trumped posting them.)

Last Week SU: 7-9-0.  An average finish to an average season of prognosticating.
Final Season to Date SU: 139-100-1.  Above .500!

Last Week ATS: 8-8-0.  An average finish to an average season of prognosticating.
Final Season to Date ATS: 123-111-6.  Above .500!

Last Week Upset / Week: a gigantic bleeping catastrophe.
Final Season to Date Upset / Week SU: 7-11-0.  Where I'll be working to pay off my gambling debt from this season, I'm sure.  (vice president biden voice) The hell you will, pal ...
Final Season to Date Upset / Week ATS: 9-9-0.  A loser with the vig factored in.

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The Wild Card Picks.

I should note up front, I think picking the Wild Card round, is the hardest week of the season for NFL predictions.  Your worst team left standing (and (mitch holtgus voice) for all intents and purposes, that is your Philadelphia Eagles this season), is still better than at least 62.5% of the NFL by definition (since twenty of thirty two teams fail to get this far).  And most seasons -- especially this one -- there's at least two or three teams that have no business being in this round ... because they're far too good for it.  (I'm looking at you, Saints, Patriots, and Texans ... and possibly Seahawks.)

Consider, the last four years in the Wild Card round:

* 2018: road teams (Colts at Texans, Seahawks at Cowboys, "Super" Chargers at Ravens, Eagles at Bears) went 3-1 outright, and you'd have won all four had you bet the spread on the road team.  Only Dallas won, and that took a last second drive, to make that outcome occur.

* 2017: road teams (Titans at Chiefs, "Shane" Falcons at Rams, Bills at Jaguars, Panthers at Saints) went 2-2 outright, and no home team covered.

(Note: as John Breech at cbssports.com points out, and I suppose I just inadvertently noted, home teams are 0-8 ATS the last two years.  ZERO AND EIGHT!  That ... (john davidson voice) That's incredible!)

 * 2016: the outlier.  Road teams (raiders at Texans, Lions at Seahawks, Dolphins at Steelers, Giants at Packers) went 0-4, with no covers.  To be fair, those are four of the worst road wild card teams in modern history, if you remember the raiders had to start Connor Cook.  But stlll.

* 2015: road teams (Chiefs at Texans, Steelers at Bengals, Seahawks at Vikings, Packers at Redskins) went undefeated, with three of the four (all but the Steelers) being outright favorites on the road.

If you had bet solely on the road teams the last four years, you'd have gone 9-7 overall, and 11-5 against the spread.  For all the talk about how "unfair" it is for a lesser-win team to host a team with a superior record?  The facts show there's virtually no advantage whatsoever, for a home team in the Wild Card round.

Anyways, with that out of the way -- that this is a total crapshoot of a week to predict -- let's predict it, shall we?

* 5 Bills at 4 Texans (Saturday, 3:30pm CT, ABC / ESPN).  OK, peoples and peepettes, be scared about this: I accurately called this as the playoff opener -- in this slot! -- four months ago.  Did I get the seeding wrong?  Of course.  But tell me this isn't something to be proud of!

As for the game itself, my God, what an apparent mismatch ... on paper.  The Bills have failed to top seventeen points in a game in December, and the only two times they topped thirty this year?  Were against the Miami Dolphins. 

They closed 1-3, the only win down the stretch coming at the Steelers, who themselves dropped three straight to p*ss away the second Wild Card.  They're a run-heavy offense in a league that rewards deep balls and taking chances.  And if there are two things Josh Allen is not accused of having a grasp on, it is deep balls and taking chances. 

(Note: does that deserve a (rimshot!)?  It doesn't?  Damn.  (florida evans voice) Damn, damn, damn!)

(Also: you're damned right I intentionally asked that question, to drop a "Good Times" reference into this post.)

Conversely, the Texans have closed fairly solidly since their debacle of a defeat in Crab Cake City.  They throttled the Patriots, won in Nashville, and beat a Bucs team that had won four straight, to clinch the division.  (We're ignoring the indefensible ass-kicking those people delivered to them a couple weeks ago, on purpose.)

Deshaun Watson can bomb it with anyone; Carlos Hyde gives them a solid back to gain the tough yardage, and the Texans will be at home, in front of a highly underrated crowd.  (I've been to Reliant enough to respect their fans, tremendously.  They're not Arrowhead, but they're in the upper 25% of home field crowds in the NFL, for sure.)

Throw in JJ Watt's likely return to bolster an already better than average defense, and on paper, the Texans should easily cover, and cruise to their first playoff victory since Connor Cook and "Brave" Brock Osweiler were engaged in a Jerry "The King" Lawler Memorial "Bras and Panties" match four years ago.

And usually, those two key words -- "on paper" -- would give me pause.  Because I can absolutely see the Bills get off to a solid 7-0, 10-0 start, then release the hounds to try to tee off on Deshaun Watson (whose offensive line is nowhere near as good as it should be, for the talent they have).

Only ... I find it far easier to envision the opposite occurring: the Texans scoring on their first two drives to get up a couple scores, and then sending the house after Josh Allen, with a raucous NRG Reliant crowd urging them on.

And that's what I'm betting to happen.  At Texans (-3) 31, Bills 13.

* 6 Titans at 3 Patriots (Saturday, 7pm CT, CBS).

True story time, boys and girls: I lived in the D/FW Metroplex for four years, to end the 1990s, as I was conning the fine folks at TCU into graduating me with not one, but two -- two! -- degrees, neither of which I have used a day in my life for my career, so far.  (TCU: only $300 / credit hour back then, nearly $500 / credit hour today!)

And as a resident of that fine metropolitan area * , for the better part of those three, four years, you heard the phrase "end of the dynasty" a number of times.  Hell, even the one time I conceded the Cowboys dynasty might be truly once and for all dead (after a disasterous defeat to the Panthers in Week Fifteen 1997), the Cowboys still (a) controlled their own destiny for that disasterous 1997 season, (b) went undefeated in the division and won the NFC East in 1998, and (c) earned a Wild Card berth in 1999.

That's why I question people who think one outlier (last week vs. Dolphins) means the Patriots run is about to come to a close Saturday night, or next Sunday at Arrowhead.  Proud, proven veteran teams don't usually completely implode unless there's a drastic reason why.  (Example: the 1999 49ers, who after eighteen straight double digit win seasons, collapsed to 4-12 because Steve Young was concussed into retirement.)

Unless you can guarantee me this is Tom Brady's final game (or final season), the Patriots run won't be over, win or lose.  (No draw is possible in the postseason.)

As for the Titans, I was thoroughly impressed with them when I went to Nashville two months ago.  That stadium was 60% Chiefs fans, the Chiefs got up 10-0 before the Titans knew what hit them ... and the Titans never quit fighting, to earn a three point victory over our AFC West Champions.  Ryan Tannehill is finally playing like he did for the 2016 Dolphins, Derrick Henry is a f*cking beast, and Corey Davis is finally developing into the receiver the Titans always thought he would be.

(Doubt me on the 60% Chiefs fan comment?  Here's a snapshot of the other side of the field:

And the side of the field I sat on:

(image credits: me, via my iPhone X something.)

This is the toughest game on the board for me to guess.  It also will probably be the most entertaining game of the weekend, as every American who isn't a Patriots fan is suddenly shouting "Titan Up!" at their TV's for four hours Saturday night.  (Circle me amongst those doing the shouting.)

All our screams?  Aren't gonna matter.  The Titans are on the rise.  The Patriots are on the decline.  But their X and Y coordinates haven't met -- yet -- on the grid. 

Let alone passed each other, in descent and upswing.  At Patriots 28, Titans (+4 1/2) 24.

(*: my favorite cities / communities in this fine country I would love to live in (and/or already have and/or currently do): 5) Tampa / St. Pete (seems obvious -- on the Gulf, in a purple state), 4) Sioux Falls (don't knock it until you've done it ... although the cold is f*cking brutal from late November to early March), 3) D/FW (never imagined this would be anywhere but numero uno), 2) Kansas City (I love my hometown), 1) Houston.  If anything, my absolute love for that city only grows every time I am lucky enough to visit it.  Which, sadly, won't be before January 2021, at the earliest ... for football purposes anyway.)

* 6 Vikings at 3 Saints (Sunday, noon CT, FOX).  I am having brunch with my mom for our birthday's during this game.  That should tell you what I think about how competitive it will be.  Only one more year of Kirk Cousins, Vikings fan.  Only one more year.  At Saints (-8) 45, Vikings 16.

* 5 Seahawks at 4 Eagles (Sunday, 3:30pm CT, NBC).  This is the game I am most looking forward to.  I cannot wait to see what Doug Pederson comes up with to keep his team in this game.  Because again, those two magical little words -- "on paper" -- on paper, the Seahawks should win this game easily.  (They are the only road favorite in this year's Wild Card round, and deservedly so.)

The Eagles enter this one having won their last four, and clearly, whatever was said to enter that fourth quarter against the Giants, is still doing its' job, as each win for these guys keeps getting more impressive. 

The Seahawks enter this one having lost two straight (at home!), and three of four overall.  If momentum matters to you, then the Eagles have it.

Only ... the Eagles four wins have come against the Giants (twice), the Redskins, and the Cowboys.  Not exactly murderer's row.  Conversely, the Seahawks lost to the Rams in a "kitchen sink" game, a rising Cardinals squad, and the team with home field advantage throughout the postseason (49ers) -- a game that was literally a half inch from going their way.

I'd argue betting December momentum on this contest, is as useless as betting on any of the Democratic Presidential candidates at this point -- no matter what you think at this point?

None of it matters when you get down to two "teams", on a level playing field.

To bring this post full circle, think back to my thoughts on the Bills and Texans game, only flip my thoughts.  I can absolutely envision the Eagles getting out to a two score lead after a quarter, and then going gangbusters after Russell Wilson, en route to a 21-10 victory that is far more comfortable for Philly than it looks on paper.  That is absolutely a realistic view of this contest.

But the far more realistic view, is what happened when these two teams met in Philly six weeks ago: the Seahawks get out to a quick two score lead, then ride the defense to a tight, hard fought victory, to survive and advance.  Doug Pederson is so good of a coach, he'll find a way to keep this game far, far closer than it has any reason to be.  But Pete Carroll is a good enough head coach, Mr. Pederson's efforts won't matter.  Seahawks (-1 1/2) 20, at Eagles 13.

Enjoy the games everyone!  And in case my next post isn't up before the stroke of midnight tonight, all the best in this New Year (and new decade!) to you and yours.

week six: the game i've waited two years for ...

"The flowers you gave me?
Are just about to die.
When I think about what could have been?
It makes me want to cry …

The sweet words you whispered?
Didn't mean a thing!
I guess our song is over,
As we begin to sing …

Could've been so beautiful!
Could've been so right!
Could've been my lover,
Every day of my life!

Could've been so beautiful!
Could've been so right!
But I'll never hold what could have been,
On a cold and lonely night …"

-- "Could've Been" by Tiffany.

--------------------

Last Week Straight Up: 8-7-0.
Season to Date Straight Up: 45-32-1.

Last Week Against the Spread: 11-4-0.
Season to Date Against the Spread: 43-34-1.

Last Week Upset O' The Week: (wadsworth voice) This is getting scary.  VERY scary.
Season to Date Upset O' The Week Straight Up: 5-1-0, W5.
Season to Date Upset O' The Week Against the Spread: 5-1-0, W5.
This Week's Upset O' The Week: Browns (+1) over Seahawks.

The Non-Chiefs Picks.

* Byes: Bears, raiders, Bills, Colts.  Allow me to say this about the debacle against Indy last Sunday night (of which I witnessed in person every single painful second): that was a F Minus performance by the Red and Gold.  F Minus.  It's the worst no-show of the "Fat" Andy years since the opener against Tennessee in 2014.  It was, in the words of the great Jim Mora Sr., a "disgraceful performance".  Also, in the words of the great Jim Mora Sr., "the offense sucked, the defense sucked, the special teams sucked, it was a horsesh*t performance.  Horsesh*t!"

And yet … the Chiefs had the ball, 4th and 1, at about their own 40, with a little over five to play, only down six.  And everyone in that stadium -- including those 150 plus people on the visitors sideline -- knew if the Chiefs converted that play, they would probably win the game.

That's how good this Chiefs team is, Chiefs fans.  They can deliver an absolute horsesh*t performance for fifty five minutes … and still control their own destiny.

This is gonna be a really fun marathon to January.  And it resumes with three straight awesome, epic, "you don't want to miss this!" games, beginning at noon tomorrow, in the game I've been drooling over for two years now.

* My Thursday Night pick was at Patriots 24, Giants (+17) 20.
* Bucs (+2) 27, Panthers 20 (Game in London).
* at Ravens 20, Bengals (+11) 17.  "Gordon Shumway Game O' The Week" honors.
* at Browns (+1) 45, Seahawks 20.
* at Jaguars (-1) 16, Saints 10.

* Redskins (-3) 24, at Dolphins 13.  I got woken up (as opposed to the idiotic term "woke up" -- again, if you lazy ass millennials in Ann Arbor, Happy Valley, and Madison had "woke up" on November 8, 2016, and gone to vote, we wouldn't have "House of Wings" in the White House), anyways, I got woken up Monday morning after a long night of football and Power and Light, by a text from "The Voice of Reason", asking me if I'd seen who was taking over the Redskins, after the firing of Jay Gruden.

Had I seen it?  Oh hell yes I had!

Ladies and gentlemen?  "Sur" Bill Callahan is back!

And in case you'd forgotten just how awesome a head coach "Surrender" Willy is, I invite you to look back fondly at the single lowest moment in Nebraska history (and arguably the high water mark in Kansas history): the "Spirit of 76" Game to open November 2007.

I might have to drop the $30 or $40 to order a single Redskins game this season on DirecTV.  I want to see "Sur" William surrender away one more time.  Because just as he surrendered the Big XII North to Kansas?  Let alone Missouri, Iowa State, KSU, and Colorado?

He's gonna surrender his team to the Eagles, Cowboys, and Giants, right into a top two pick.  Where they can yet again whiz away said top flight pick on a quarterback who'll bomb out within three years.

All Hail the Redskins!

* at Vikings (-3) 27, Eagles 23.
* "Shane" Falcons (-2 1/2) 26, at "Super" Cardinals 20.  "Empty Nest Game O' The Week" honors.
* at Rams (-4) 51, 49ers 30.

* at those people (-2 1/2) 13, Titans 10.  (stevo sighing in disgust).  Yes, as of now, I will be there Thursday night.  I want to see their season buried and dead in person.  Work willing.

* Cowboys 24, at Jets (+7) 21.  I actually think the Jets are gonna win this, setting up one epic "everything up to and including the kitchen sink" game next Monday to save the season.  Because yes, Pete Stoyanovich, the Jets season needs to be saved.  I just don't have the balls to pick it.

* at "Super" Chargers 24, Steelers (+6) 21.  "Good Times Game O' The Week" honors.
* Lions (+4 1/2) 28, at Packers 20.

The "Klassy" Kevin Kietzman Tweet O' The Week.

What can I say folks?  Kaptain Klassy is back!

Where to begin?  The Pantsless One having a tweet sponsored by a beauty product for flawless skin?  The Kommander of the Kurbside b*tching and moaning about how he only got one minute on the air to complain that the Chiefs have gotten lazy, that KU is going to get the death penalty, and that the Royals' Jorge Soler is worthless because he wouldn't be recognized on The Plaza on a typical Tuesday?

Or my personal favorite, his kandid komment that he "needs new friends".  Wait -- I thought you had a lil' friend who was going to slice your handicap down to five or better?  Or is the intro to your Twitter feed yet another lie out of "K"KK's mouth?

For the love dude -- not even the late, great Sir William Grigsby ever took out his disgust over demotion on the dog.  I mean, if the late, great Harry ever ran free on the crime-riddled streets of Parkville, it wasn't due to being ditched by his owner.

I think Klueless Kev needs some professional help.  Please -- get help somewhere.  Because this is beginning to border on the insane and/or delusional.  And trust me -- nobody you'll ever meet knows the fine line between insane and delusional, better than me.

The Watching Party Plans.

There are no The Watching Party Plans, as this is a Chiefs game I will be in attendance for.

The Tailgating Plans.

At last check, we are doing a bunch of chilis and soups, to keep things simple.  It's going to be too damned cold tomorrow to do anything else.

We will have a grill going for brats, dogs, and jalapeno poppers.

As always, anyone who wishes to join in, is always welcome and wanted.  Blake, Chance and I will be down to save our spots by 6:30.  Hope to see y'all tomorrow.

Disreputable Mexican Food Truck Update.

So … I'm rolling two sections into one this week, because you could also call this the …

Stevo Drink O' The Week.

(stevo sighing in disgust).

It all began in August, when my good buddy Andrew came down for the 49ers preseason game with his college roommate Brock.  We made a quick liquor store run to get some libations for the tailgate, and Brock wound up buying something he referred to as "The Claw".

Needless to say, that was the phrase of the weekend: "The Claw".

(Note: something about to become decriminalized here in Missouri come January 1st, may have contributed to making that the phrase of the weekend.)

So yes, this week's update … is that I am damned near addicted to the Black Cherry White Claw seltzer.

(brian griffin voice) gay.

Yeah.  Whatever.  

Let's move on.

(Pause).

Ladies and gentlemen?  Mr. Conway Twitty!!!!!

The Flashback.

There's no other game I could pick, in this "rivalry".

Other than possibly this one.

The Chiefs Pontification and Prognostication.

So here we are.  

Two years after what "could've been", the two top prospects of the 2017 NFL Draft, are going to duel for what is hopefully the first of twenty, twenty five showdowns.

I cannot possibly put into words, how geeked I am, for Mahomes / Watson I.

If there is any game at Arrowhead you can make this year?

This is the one to make.

Because the great "what if" in Chiefs franchise history … is about to play out, for the first time.

--------------------

For the record, I supported drafting Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" over Deshaun Watson.  Sh*t, there's Facebook proof out there that I literally melted down into a ball of tears, screaming "yes!  yes!  f*ck yes!" the moment the pick was announced two years ago.

And yet … godd*mmit, watching Deshaun Watson, makes you ask out loud "wait -- did we blow this pick"?

And I know -- for a Chiefs fan to question drafting Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs", is borderline blasphemy.  And yet, I can't help asking the question … because watching Deshaun Watson is that f*cking amazing.

Folks?  We're going to see greatness for the first time Sunday afternoon.  Hopefully for the first of twenty plus times.  The two quarterbacks who are going to define the AFC for the next decade, at least, will finally meet each other (the script voice) for the first time.

I am so f*cking ready for this.

--------------------

For the record, this season:

Picking the Chiefs:

* Straight Up: 3-2-0.  (L Jaguars, W raiders, W Ravens, W Lions, L Colts).

* Against the Spread: 2-3-0.  (L Jaguars, W raiders, W Ravens, L Lions, L Colts).

Is this where I note that last year at this time, I was 5-0-0 both SU and ATS, picking the Chiefs, going into Foxboro?

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Let the "Could've Been Bowl I" begin.

Because again, I am so freaking ready for this.

It's been a long, long time since I woke up without an alarm for a noon game.  Usually the night before a noon game, I stay over at the Second Parents, because it's far easier to have Mona pound on my door for five minutes to get my ass out of bed, than rely on my hung over self * to drive fifteen minutes at five in the morning, to make Bus-off.

And that truth will hold tonight.

(*: this is a lie.  I never get hangovers.  I know you laugh at that … but it's the truth.  I never get hangovers.  It's both a blessing, and a curse.)

But I suspect I'll be wide awake at 3:30 tomorrow morning … if not sooner.

* at Chiefs 51, Texans (+4) 48 (OT).

This is going to be one to tell the grandkids about.  

Don't miss it ...