why romney is gonna win ...

Did you watch last night?  No, really -- did you watch last night?  Just for an hour, just the prime time, 9pm CT window.  That's all you needed to see.

Because if you could watch Condi Rice and Paul Ryan last night, and STILL think Barack Obama is the better choice?  That the President and his philosophies are the cure for what ails our nation?  Then God help you, because you are absolutely clueless.

Those speeches last night were beyond inspirational.  I'm going to focus on Mr. Ryan's comments, since his remarks and thoughts are more important to this campaign than Ms. Rice's.  But still, if you missed her speech, please -- go to MSNBC or CSPAN and watch it.  And as you're watching, look intently at the speaker.  Don't just listen to her, watch her -- specifically, watch what she ISN'T doing ... which is reading a tele-prompter.  Why, you ask, would Ms. Rice decide "screw it, I don't need no stinking tele-prompter"?

Because she's speaking from the heart.  That, and I'm telling you, I am SO DAMNED FIRED UP for this election -- THIS is why.  This isn't the phony Greek columns and scripted Hollywood movie scene the Democrats put on four years ago.  This is so damned awesome to watch unfold, because this is GENUINE.  When Ms. Rice notes, hang on, let me pull up the transcript so I get this right.

"After all, when the world looks to America, they look to us because we are the most successful economic and political experiment in human history.  That is the true basis of American exceptionalism.  You see, the essence of America, what really unites us, is not nationality, or ethnicity, or religion.  It is an idea.  And what an idea it is!  That you can come from humble circumstances and you can do great things!  That it does not matter where you come from, it matters where you are going!"

(cue the wild crowd applause, as well as this hot-as-hell 35 year old blogger cheering like the Chiefs finally won a playoff game).

Riddle me this, folks -- when was the last time you heard a Democrat talk like that?  When was the last time you heard our current President PRAISE this country, EMBRACE this country, express pride over where he came from?  (Answer: he never has.)

"And on a personal note, a little girl grows up in Jim Crow Birmingham.  The segregated city of the South where her parents cannot take her to a movie theater or to restaurants, but they have convinced her that even if she cannot have a hamburger at Woolworth's, she can be the President of the United States if she wants to, and she will become the Secretary of State."

I gotta admit, I actually teared up listening to that last night.  What you saw on display last night, was PRIDE in this country.  OUR country.  It is something you will NOT be seeing next week in Charlotte.

And yet, it was more than pride.  Here's how Ms. Rice closed:

"That is why -- that is why this is a moment and an election of consequence.  Because it just has to be that the freest, most compassionate country on the face of the earth will continue to be the most powerful and the beacon for prosperity across the world."

What you saw on full-fledged display last night, is one thing I guaran-goddamn-tee you, you won't be seeing in Charlotte next week.

And that thing ... is HOPE.

Did you catch how positive, even when attacking the other side, how positive the Republican message is?  They don't need tele-prompters because they're speaking what they believe.  What they believe in, is the greatness of this country.  In the good of America.  In the promise, the hope, the freedom of this country.  They don't need to be told what to say.  They instinctively know it.

And nowhere was that on better display, than with Mr. Ryan.

I entered his speech with high hopes, with a sincere belief that if he did well, it would turn this election on its head.

I left his speech convinced that barring the worst speech in recorded human history tonight, that this election is over, and the Romney / Ryan ticket is going to win on a landslide.

Seriously folks -- what in the hell can the Democrats do to counter this?  They cannot run on their record, because they OWN the financial disaster this nation currently is.  They're the ones who literally doubled the national debt in four years.  They're the ones who haven't passed a budget in four years, have posted above a $1 trillion deficit every year for the past four years.  They're the ones who spent nearly $2 trillion in bailouts and stimulus funding with the promise that unemployment would never top 8% ... and go figure, unemployment has been above 8% EVERY SINGLE MONTH Barack Obama has occupied the White House.  Even worse than that abysmal failure, the numbers are getting WORSE -- jobless claims rose by 180,000 first time claims last month to nearly 400,000.  The short term unemployment rate rose to 8.3%, up from 8.2.  And the U6 number, the true unemployment number, rose from 14.9% to 15.3.  15.3!  Let that sink in -- 15.3 percent of the adults in this country who can work, and want to work, can't work, because there's no job for them to hold!  In America!

48% of the country receives their substinence from the federal government.  48%!  Now granted, that is a very misleading figure, because obviously some of that 48% are retirees on Social Security, and a significant chunk of that figure is federal employees.  But still, we have now reached the point to where literally half of us are working to support the other half.  That's unsustainable.  THAT'S what Barack Obama is asking you to accept four more years of.

Is he nuts?

And that was the whole point of Paul Ryan's effort last night.  This election is the most stark, clear moment of my lifetime when it comes to this country.  My favorite part of Mr. Ryan's speech came fairly early on:

"So our opponents can consider themselves on notice.  In this election, on this issue, the usual posturing on the left isn't going to work.  Mitt Romney and I know the difference between protecting a program, and raiding it.  Ladies and gentlemen, our nation needs this debate.  We want this debate.

"We will WIN this debate!

"Obamacare, as much as anything else, explains why a Presidency that began with such anticipation, now comes to such a disappointing close.

"It began with a fiscal crisis; it ends with a jobs crisis.

"It began with a housing crisis they didn't create; it ends with a housing crisis they failed to correct.

"It began with a perfect Triple-A credit rating for the United States; it ends with a downgraded America.

"It all started off with stirring speeches, Greek columns, the thrill of something new.  Now all that's left is a Presidency adrift, surviving on slogans that already seem tired, grasping at a moment that has already passed, like a ship trying to sail on yesterday's wind."

Awesome.

I have a phrase, that gets hauled out at the moment in time when the Chiefs, for however brief a time period, revive hope in our demoralized, downbeaten, humbled fanbase.  Three simple words -- simple, succinct, to the point, and only one of them is profane.

After last night?  After that incredible hour of echoing the greatness this nation has been, and can be again?

Election.  F*cking.  ON!

we have an endorsement ...

For the speech, I reposition myself from computer room to the main room. Dusty is passed out on the couch (shocking) ... but he's sleeping on the remote. So I'm stuck with ONBC coverage until he wakes up.

On the bright side ... well there is no bright side here. ONBC is biased. Dusty passed out means I can't get as into this as I'd like to. I'll be reduced to fist pumps and raised fingers instead of crazy cheers and boos. So I guess its like being a deaf mute? Wait, just a mute, I can still hear this.

Fred Thomspon voice introduction. His speech Tuesday was great.

Reminds me, I got an email from an old friend, very conservative chick, yesterday praising Palin's speech. I liked it for different reasons, but suffice it to say, if her remarks are on target (and they almost always are, she was our class valedictorian ...), McCain's got the base locked up.

Name of the speech is "Change is Coming".

I am leaning McCain. Especially after last night. But still undecided. For at least another hour or so.

"Tonight, I have a privilege given few Americans, the privilege of accepting our party's nomination for President of the United States". Guess he's in it to win it.

First protestor interruption. Crowd covers kook up with USA! chant.

"In my life, no success has come without a good fight".

"I'm grateful to the President of the United States for leading us in these dark days following the worst attack in American history". I don't mean to demean 9/11 ... but Pearl Harbor? Washington burned to the ground in the War of 1812? Seem worse to me.

Ditto Fort Sumter.

Second protestor interruption. More USA! chants.

Shout out to Laura Bush. And Bush 41 and Barbara.

Quick side rant, what the hell was up with the backdrop at this point. A corn field?!?! Huh?!?! Just did not look good.

Praise for Cindy and the kids.

Praise for his mom, rocking the pearls at 96 years young.

"To all of you who stood by me when the odds were long, I promise you, I won't let you down."

"To Americans who have yet to decide who to vote for, thank you for the consideration and the opportunity to win your trust. I intend to earn it". Thank you, Senator. I appreciate it.

I thought it was pure class to praise Obama's historic nomination. McCain has more class in his flag lapel pin than Barry has in his entire being.

"There is more that united us than divides us, it is what makes us Americans, and that (designation) means more to me than any other". Class.

"We're dedicated to the proposition that all people are created equal ..." Unless you're gay.

Nowhere near the excitement on the floor tonight as last night.

3rd protest interruption. Seriously, how p*ss poor was security last night? Say what you want about the DNC, we kept our kooks on the streets.

And at the podium.

McCain trying to restore order.

"Please don't be diverted by the ground noise and the static". Great comeback.

Interruption number four. Whoever headed security last night better be unemployed this morning. Seriously, this is ridiculous.

Huge applause for Governor Palin. Huge. Loudest applause of the night so far.

"She stands up for what's right, and doesn't let anyone tell her to sit down". Solid line.

Dusty still passed out. I'm starting to get frustrated at my inability to get into this properly ...

"I can't wait until I introduce her to Washington". Solid line.

"Let me issue this warning to the do nothing, me first Washington crowd -- change is coming!" Huge applause. Only fist pumps in south KC. Grrrrrrrr ...

"When we tell you we're going to Washington and stop leaving our country's problems for some other generation to fix, you can believe it". I stood and fist pumped for that line.

"I don't work for a party, I don't work for a special interest. I work for you". Solid line.

"The first big pork spending bill that comes across my desk, I will veto it! I will veto it and I will make them (the authors) famous! You will know their names!" Tremendous applause. More standing fist pumps in south KC. Not sure I can hold off making noise much longer ...

"I fought for the right strategy and more troops in Iraq when it wasn't the popular thing to do". Huge applause. USA! chants flying across the floor.

"And when the pundits said my campaign was finished, I said I'd rather lose an election than see my country lose a war". More applause. More USA! chants. More fist pumps.

"And thanks to the leadership of a brilliant general, David Petraeus, and the bravery of the tremendous men and women he has the honor to command (huge applause) ... that strategy succeeded and it rescued us from a defeat that would have meant a demoralizing defeat, risked a wider war, and threatened all Americans". And with that, in south KC, the silence is broken. Tremendous thundering applause on the floor, and in the main room. A visibly angry Dusty wakes up and leaves the room.

A visibly relieved Steve grabs the remote and flips off biased ONBC up to ABC. Mission accomplished.

The applause still going.

"I don't mind a good fight. For reasons known only to God, I've had quite a few tough ones in my life, but I've learned an important lesson along the way. It doesn't matter that you can fight, what you fight for is the real test". Tremendous line. And applause.

McCain channeling Al Gore's speech in 2000 now, using individual stories to illustrate what he'd do as President. It was highly effective for Gore. I thought it worked for McCain as well.

More USA! chants as McCain honors a fallen soldier.

"We were elected to change Washington, and we let Washington change us."

Whoa, taking on Big Oil?!?! Am I watching the RNC?

The crowd is not enjoying this segment of the speech. Limited applause.

"The party of Lincoln, Roosevelt and Reagan is going to get back to basics!" Huge applause. Camera pans to Lieberman, Guiliani and Fred Thompson eating it up.

"We believe in faith, work, service. And a culture of life". Huge applause.

Ugh, here we go again with the "don't legislate from the bench" crap. The floor is loving it. I need more vodka.

"Government that doesn't make choices for you, but works to make sure you have more choices for myself". Great line.

Going into differences between him and Barry. The floor booing Barry. Good stuff.

Huge boos for Barry's health care ideas.

"We're going to help workers who've lost a job that won't come back, find a new one that won't go away". Great line.

"What good is access to a failed school? We need to empower parents with choice ..." Ugh, another kook idea that won't work.

"Attract and reward good teachers ... and help bad teachers find another line of work!" Good luck getting the NEA to sign off on that one.

Parents already have a choice in the education of their children sir! We don't need vouchers!

Promising energy independence. Huge applause. Hu-yuge. With me as well. Drill now! Drill now! Drill now!

Amen! Drill now! chants getting started.

Yes we can! chants going. Awesome.

"My friends, its an ambitions plan, but Americans are ambitious by nature. Its time for us to show the world again how Americans lead!" Huge applause. He's starting to hit his stride ...

Going into foreign policy threats now.

The brave people of Georgia also need our support, not just solidarity and prayers.

"We face many threats in this dangerous world. But I'm not afraid of them. I'm prepared for them". Great line.

"I know how the world works. I know the good -- and evil -- in it". Sadly, that line is very true.

Now getting into his military experience.

"I hate war. Its terrible beyond imagination."

"I will reach out my hand to anyone to help get this country moving again". Good line.

"My friends, I have that record, and the scars to prove it. Senator Obama does not." Big applause line. The holding out his arms to note that he can't really raise them was very effective.

"Instead of rejecting good ideas because we didn't think of them first, let's use the best ideas from both sides ... this amazing country can do anything we put our minds to!"

The floor didn't like the idea of Dems and independents in the administration.

"My friends, I've been an imperfect servant of my country for many years, but I've been a servant first, last, and always. I've never lived a day in good times or bad that I didn't thank God for the priviliege". Amen, Senator. Amen.

"I was blessed by misfortune. I mean that sincerely." Going into how he became a POW.

"and an angry crowd waiting to greet me". Good line.

There is not a sound anywhere other than McCain's voice. This story is riveting. Inspiring. And tear-inducing.

Huge applause for his fellow POWs. Huge. Both in St Paul and south KC.

more applause. Hero! chants starting up in the back.

McCain is choking up. As am I.

"I fell in love with my country when I was a prisoner in someone else's".

"I wasn't my own man anymore. I was my country's". Another great line. Huge applause. We're at the 20 second and still going mark.

"I'm not running for President because I think I'm blessed with such greatness that history has anointed me to save our country at its hour of need." Great line, and more applause.

"I will fight for her so long as I draw breath, so help me God!" Huge applause. Biggest of the night. USA! chants flying.

"Nothing can make you happier than to serve a cause greater than yourself". More USA! chants.

"With hard work, strong faith, and a little courage, great things are always within our reach. Fight with me! Fight for what's right with our country!" Huge applause. He's got the delegates into it now.

Cheering through these closing lines. "Nothing is inevitable here! We're Americans! We never give up! We never quit! We never hide from history, we make history!" My hands are starting to hurt from clapping.

Great, great finish. Tremendous finish.

So ...

It wasn't a great speech. It fell flat at times. But to me, it was good enough.

I'm in. McCain / Palin. Officially endorsed by me. And as such, I'll do my part. 60 days to get 'em elected. 60 days to save this country from the utter catastrophe that Barack Obama would be as President. 60 days to avoid massive tax increases that will cripple the economy. 60 days to avoid do nothing energy policies. 60 days to ensure that victory in Iraq can be secured, that the threat in Iran will be dealt with, that the focus stays on taking it to the enemy, rather than withdrawing and waiting for them to come hit us.

60 days to say thanks but no thanks to the single most unqualified, unprepared candidate I have ever seen seek the highest office in the land.

60 days folks. We've got 60 days to defeat Barack Obama. I can't believe I'm going to close out this way, but ... (dick vermeil voice) Offense? Gotta go to work! Defense? Gotta go to work! Special teams? Gotta go to work!

Gotta go to work! McCain! Palin! 60 days! Let's do it!

the rnc: night four ... live blog

Yup, I'll be at it tonight. Plan to start around 6ish and go for a while, although I probably won't cover McCain's speech, I'll watch that live and then recap it later. Hope you join in, I'll be logged into Yahoo! IM as well at teamtito15 if you want to interact.

5:40pm: and we're underway. Starting on OMSNBC, a riveting debate between the director of an anti-abortion organization and the NOW President. The NOW President is lying through her teeth about Governor Palin, and David Gregory just called her on it and put up the proof. I don't know what's more surprising: the fact that the President of NOW is lying on TV thinking she can get away with it ... or that OMSNBC actually pointed out the lie.

(I'm going with the latter).

Speaking of OMSNBC, a great look at the coward of all cowards, Keith Olbermann, who apparently is scared of Republican delegates to the degree that he refused to go to St Paul. (tmq voice) brawk brawk!

Sorry, the link: http://www.unclebarky.com/reviews_files/b00278f9a0b29815d6641596a7f1cdcf-490.html

Supposed to get underway shortly, so I'm heading up to CSPAN, the last bastion of unbiased coverage in this nation. (Because they have no commentators).

7 minutes until we're live. Trace Atkins doing the Anthem tonight, I heard it during his walk through today while listening to OMSNBC at work, and it's gonna be good.

Major speakers tonight: former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty, (gag me) Senator Sam Brownback, Cindy McCain, and of course, the nominee himself.

Yes! the balloons are set to go! 100,000 falling after the speech! Plus 200 lbs of confetti! Its not quite as magical as hearing Gomer Pyle sing about "the moonlight on the Wabash" as the balloons fly at Indy, but hey, you take what you can get.

CSPAN going nowhere fast, up to CNN.

Whoops they're previewing McCain's speech. Like last night, I don't want to hear anything about it beforehand. I entered this week an undecided, determined not to decide until I'd heard from both sides. Night one, the Dems won. (Of course there was no Rep night one). Night two I thought was a draw, both Hillary (who should have been our nominee, got the most votes, and won every damned key state we need in November, stupid DNC ...) and Fred Thompson were great. Night three I give to the Republicans. I loved Biden's speech ... but man, how do you top Palin last night? How? That might have been the single best speech I've ever sat and listened to. And I am not a conservative Republican, but my Lord. Unreal.

Let's see what Johnny can do tonight, because Barry was solid on Night Four last week. Not great, but solid.

(And as usual, completely vague about what exactly he'll do if he wins).

Hope we see some substance tonight.

One clear area the Dems kicked ass at though was the house band. I haven't heard Earth, Wind and Fire yet. Hell, I haven't heard much of anything yet out of these tools in St. Paul.

Back on CSPAN, overhead shot of the delegates. Second clear advantage the Dems have: our delegates get into this. They dress up like its Halloween, they dance, they have fun. Republicans are just sitting around doing nothing. Sad, really. Do you know what I'd give to be a delegate at one of these things? To be a part of making history this year? Because no matter who wins, for the first time, we'll either have a non-white male President, or non-white male VP. Kind of cool.

Oh, apparently Lindsay Graham speaks tonight too. As one of the traitorous gang of 14 that got Alito confirmed, boo!

"Patrick Clayton!" I'm still hacked over my performance last night. Utterly inexcusable. Utterly inexcusable.

And I still contend there is no way in hell that "Every Breath You Take" is the most played song of all time. The only way that's even remotely believable is if you combine the original with P Diddy's sampling of it. And even then, there's no way it beats "Unchained Melody" or "Imagine", no freakin' way.

blogspot.com's having issues, so bear with me. Its taking its sweet time to post.

PA playing "I Won't Back Down" by Tom Petty. Its not often I like a remake better than an original ... but Johnny Cash's version of this is just incredible.

Here we go! The RNC Chairman Mike Duncan to open night four. The final Convention night until I'll be 35 ... and still probably single, male, straight, on a ridiculously long "scoring slump", and blogging away in a computer room in south KC while getting hammered on Coors Light.

(Although hopefully I'll have a covered deck back by then to enjoy this outside).

8 Olympians to lead the Pledge. I didn't catch who makes up the color guard.

Ryan somebody, Mitch Gaylord, Brittany Hayes (hello!), Barbara Higgins (ugh), Larsen Jensen, El Logan (yikes), Marcus I'm-not-gonna-even-try-to-spell-it, and John somebody.

Once again, "under God" is not part of the original pledge. And they emphasize it. I love conservatives trying to hijack our wonderful modern day liberal society and take us back to the 1600s.

Trace Adkins! (george takei voice) oh my. He is tall. And he is good.

We're already almost 10 minutes behind schedule. Could be another long night. It was almost 1am before I went to bed last night after watching and reacting to the Governor's speech ...

Solid effort by Mr. Adkins. And I like the cowboy hat. Its not quite as sweet as Memphis' fedora on Big Brother.

Oh no, Archbishop Demetrius. I believe this is the same scary looking guy who led the invocation on Day 3 of the DNC.

Holy sh*t it is.

I'm telling you, when this guy flies, he gets extra screening. Although his crappy English sounds better tonight than it did last Wednesday.

Then again, I'm happier tonight than I was last Wednesday, known as "Titanic Day" to me, the day the Democratic Party hit the damned iceberg by nominating Barry ...

Good Lord, we're at the 3 minute mark on the prayer.

Apparently D and Mallory hit it off again last night. Good for them! Here's hoping his "scoreless streak" never reaches Steve like levels ...

Uuh, when Dingy Harry Reid declared the Iraq war "lost", it was "lost" at the time. Come on.

Tom Cole. Liar. Conservative. A Rep from Oklahoma.

Whoa, Congress' approval is at 9%?!?! How's it that high?

Old vet trying to work a digital camera. Sadly, he's probably better at it than I am.

That was short and not so sweet of a speech. (system of a down) lies from the tablecloth.

Some dude running for Congress at the podium now. He's trying too hard.

Republican reformers?!?! Hang on, I almost spit up the Coors Light. What reform? Take us back to the 1940s? Demolish every meaningful social advance made in the last 40 years? Good God, I'm flipping back to Barry. Somebody better talk me off the edge.

Buddy, you've OWNED the government for this entire freaking decade!!! If you don't like the America you see, grab a baseball bat and beat yourself over the head, you freaking created it!!!

Agh! I am so effing sick and tired of these pissy ass Republicans blaming Democrats for all our problems. WE aren't the ones who haven't passed a meaningful energy bill in 8 years. Or presented one. WE aren't the ones who haven't passed one damned border security bill in 8 years, despite 9/11 occuring in that time. WE aren't the ones ... oh what's the point.

This current guy trying to get a "No We Won't" chant going over Nancy Pelosi's "extremely liberal agenda". He's failing miserably.

(I think I've calmed down ...)

Another Congressional candidate. Enjoy the landslide losses this fall guys. (Hopefully).

I can sign off on backing McCain / Palin because I can't stand Obama. But I'll be damned if I'm voting to give full control of the government back to the Republicans.

Side note: apparently Palin's amazing speech last night so frightened Barry ... that he's on O'Reilly tonight. I will therefore be flipping to FOX News come 7pm to see what he has to say.

A 27 year old Republican running from Congress from Peoria Illinois. Good luck with that. Just wait until the Grigsby attack machine gets turned loose on him ...

Aaron Schock is his name. "A leg up, not a hand out". Good line.

Camera just focused on a row of sleeping delegates. Sounds like a good time to have some food. I'll be back in a little bit.

6:27pm: and I'm back. Sen. Ensign just accused the Dems of "not being willing to stand up to true evil in the world". Sadly ... with Barry at the top, its a legitimate claim.

I love these RNC videos. Probably because Robert Duvall is the host of all of them. Viva Tom Hagen!

Apparently the Palin video that didn't air last night, airs before Cindy McCain goes on at 8:30. I'm curious to see it.

The floor starting to fill in.

They lengthened the stage tonight to put McCain in the middle of the delegates. Smart thinking if you ask me. And if someone's thinkin', they're probably drinkin'.

Sen. McConnell to officially nominate Governor Palin. Like I kept asking during Biden's speech last week ... is it too late to flip the ticket?

28 minutes until the biggest moment of Barry's political career. This interview with O'Reilly is either going to stop the bleeding, or McCain's leaving this with a 10-12 point bounce and never looking back.

(I'm betting on the latter).

Whoa, some delegate just looked like he was hitting a flask! As someone armed with multiple bottles for KU home games and multiple flasks for Chiefs home games, hooray!

Phone's going off, gotta take it. I'll be back by 7.

7:14pm: or 7:14. Sorry bout that.

Obama interview begins here shortly, so I've flipped up to FOX News.

Commercial on FOX. Former Speaker (and utter hypocrite) Gingrich up next. Yup, its CSPAN time again.

The first 3 star female General speaking now. It appears McCain is doing the same thing Kerry did in 2004 and taking Night Four ultra military.

This chick is scary looking.

Back to FOX News. To Gingrich's credit, he unloaded on an OMSNBC reporter today.

CBS News poll shows a tie. Which means last night's bump was 6 points. I said earlier today the bump would be 10 and McCain would never look back.

Then again, I've been predicting a "45 States and the District" landslide for McCain every since Hillary "suspended her campaign" in early June. Titanic, meet iceberg. Democrats, meet unelectable moron.

Wow, FOX just showed clips from McCain / Palin here in Missouri last week ... and there are MULTIPLE Hillary 08 signs in the crowd. (steve chanting along with them) PUMA! PUMA! PUMA!

Looks like 16-7 at the half, Giants leading. On pace to beat the 9pm RNC kickoff.

McCain scheduled to go on at 9:11pm by the way, so an 11 minute buffer for ONBC.

(You know ONBC News is praying for overtime ...)

O'Reilly highlighting Megyn Kelly going off on US Weekly's editor. What a deuche. The editor I mean.

Seriously, who gives a crap if her daughter is pregnant? At the risk of offending people here ... who cares? She's 17. Its her life. And who the hell are we to judge her decision here? I know I sure as all hell didn't want to be a parent at 19, and I'm still not ready at 31. Its her life. Leave her alone.

(That, and the backlash from this, I'm telling you, is going to get ugly. If Barry is smart, he'll pull the plug on this. Of course, its Barry. He hasn't done anything smart in six months. Its why he's going to get creamed in 61 days).

Obama interview up next. Tonight focuses on national security. Tomorrow I assume is domestic issues. Same format as with Hillary.

This is like the 5th health care needs to be agenda item number one ad already tonight. I'd say energy needs to be issue number one, closely followed by securing, uuh, some form of secure situation in the Middle East, but hey, noone ever accused me of thinking clearly.

And here we go. O'Reilly. Obama. (mills lane) let's get it on!

Parts 2, 3, 4 next week. Calls them "provocative".

I think he's handled the Iran question quite well. O'Reilly trying to bait him, but I agree with Barry here, "when you're one of two people seeking the Presidency of the United States, you don't tip your hand until you're one person left standing".

Admits the "surge has succeeded in ways nobody could have anticipated". Uuh, I think the guy speaking at 9:11pm tonight anticipated it ...

Again, Obama's not saying anything I don't agree with. Initial invasion: horribly managed. Surge: worked tremendously. Credit: Petraeus. Bottom line: surge still doesn't justify the beginning of this debacle ... yet.

He's struggling with the Pakistan question.

Obama's getting fired up.

And that's it for part one.

I'll say this: if I vote Obama, it ain't for foreign policy reasons. But I already knew that entering this deal tonight.

Joe Gibbs at the podium.

Comparing God to the head coach of a football team. (george takei voice) oh my.

This is a freaking sermon. At the podium. Of a political convention. I don't know whether I'm more in shock and awe at this blatant whiz on the separation of church and state.

Or if I'm more in respect and admiration at this blatant whiz on the separation of church and state.

"Right game plan leads to what? (has to look at the notes). Success!" Thanks Joe!

Are we about to get an alter call?

Another sleeping delegate. Or me if I was there.

Seriously, this speech was bad. I'm not trying to come off as anti-religion, but this was just a bad speech.

And we follow it up with "Centerfield". Probably a better choice than "F*ck You Gently" by Tenacious D.

"Empty Nest!"

Man, how did we lose last night. Oh that's right, I totally botched the 150 pt question at the end. And I'm the American Idol addict in the group.

(steve reaching for hhh's sledgehammer to administer some justice ...)

GI John and Superwoman posters everywhere. I like it. Not as good as the old "African Americans for Gore / Lieberman" placard back in the day, but hey, again, you take what you can get.

Whoa, this delegate is holding up about 6 ft wide American flag ... and he's almost as wide as the flag. Have we confirmed Mark Mangino is not a delegate?

"Dangerzone" up next. Apparently crappy mid 80s rock is back in with our conservative friends.

On the other hand, the song is from "Top Gun". And McCain is the "Maverick" of this election.

(Although I doubt he'll get it with Kelly McGillis. Seriously, I think I burned through that tape in like 2 weeks, the first rated R movie I ever remember seeing ... and I don't think it left the hookup scene for like the first 550 times I watched it. Sometimes I wish I was 10 again ...)

Yes! An elephant hat! A gator hat! The Texans tossing sombrero-sized cowboy hats! Finally, somebody found the open bar at this thing!

Awesome, awesome "terrible towels" in the Pennsylvania delegation. Bright yellow, they say "Pennsylvanians for McCain! We're not bitter!"

Lindsay Graham up next. Can't believe he's being applauded, given how much the conservative base hates him.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this speech is for the troops!" Wow, he is going full on Kerry tonight and channeling his inner veteran. Just so long as we don't get a cheezy video of him heading up the Mississippi River in a Swift Boat ...

Graham declaring victory in Iraq. Yeah, that worked out well the first time around.

Cheap shot at moveon.org. I'm good with it. They're nuts. Them, and the Daily Kooks. I mean, Daily Kos.

Like Lindsay Graham knows one damned thing about "courageous leadership", Gang of 14 gutless bastard.

"They (the troops) said Senator McCain, this (current situation in Iraq) ain't workin ..." WHAT? I thought we accomplished the mission 1,968 days ago? You're saying Bush lied? No ...

"Calling for more troops to be sent to Iraq was one of the most unpopular things John McCain could have done". Not Impeaching our incompetent Commander in Chief for lying about winning the war is far less popular with me.

If I was to type what I thought of Lindsay's last 4 paragraphs of speech, I would probably be arrested for slander.

Uuh, Barack just acknowledged their success on O'Reilly you jackass.

I am not a Lindsay Graham fan. Pardon me, Lindsey. Lindsey Graham.

He can't pronounce "miserably".

"Miserably" is how I'm feeling watching this lying baffoon.

What? Graham just said "we're going to win this war". 5 minutes ago he said we "had won this war -- victory!" Good Lord, at least Bush consistently lied about Mission Accomplished. This guy can't last 5 minutes!

(Neither could I at this point. Ka boom boom ching).

Palin video bumped from last night up next. I'd have chosen someone less, uuh, annoying to introduce it.

Then again, they did, since Guiliani was supposed to intro this last night.

I am digging this video. Right down to the pilfered "Dallas" theme song sound alike playing in the background.

(The lesson, as always: TV theme songs rule).

Officially one hour exactly from McCain. Unofficially about 19 minutes from the end of this, I'm done when Cindy takes the stage. I think.

'Skins / Giants well on pace to end by 10pmET. You can hear the ONBC and OMSNBC staffers cursing from here.

Great video. Tremendous.

Tom Ridge up next. Just like I'm among the few pro-life Dems ... he's among the few pro-choice Reps. Diversity. Again, practiced everywhere in the Republican Party, unless you're gay. Then you have cooties and need to go away.

This guy looks like Fred Willard. But he's not nearly as funny.

"Its not about who can answer a 3am call, its about who has answered the call his entire life". Solid line.

"Its not about building a record, its about having one". Great line.

"Its not about talking pretty, its about talking straight!" Its about the Dems nominating a freaking retard with nothing positive to offer this country, pal. I'm telling you, we will regret the Obama nomination like nothing this party has ever done.

"We are all called to serve as long as we call ourselves free". Good line.

"That's John McCain!"

Wow, this guy looks like Fred Willard.

Cindy McCain intro video.

If this is possible, Cindy's hotter now than she was 30 years ago.

Hu-Yuge applause for the McCain pic.

Wow, McCain looked a lot like Fred Couples back then.

Memories of Cindy's dad. She forgot "and rich".

Ooh, she's a racing fan! And she built cars! Kick ass! She owns a mother / son racing team! My Lord, I think my mind is almost made up ...

And here's ... Cindy!

Introducting the family.

There's no way she cranked all of them out. No way. I know one's adopted, but if the other six are hers ... and Palin has five ... my Lord, I might have to remove the "no kids" requirement from the future "Mrs. Steve". Or "Steve's Friend with Benefits".

(or whatever I can find on adult friend finder, which I'd be scared to think about).

Since I was just asked, the "O" in "OMSNBC" and "ONBC" is for "Obama". Those networks are so in the tank for Barry, they no longer should be referred to by their actual network names.

(So does that mean it should be MFOX News?)

I forgot to throw this out there: guess what Cindy's rockin' tonight! If you said massive pearl necklace, you're a winner!!!

My Lord, she's a MILF.

"I've always thought its a good idea to have a woman's hand on the wheel as well". Aah ... screw it, let it go.

"So how about that Governor Sarah Palin". Hu-yuge ovation for Sarah. And my God is she on fire tonight. Beautiful gray jacket, black skirt ... but no pearls. (aw).

The floor is just loving her.

"I couldn't be prouder that John has shaken things up ... as he usually does." I love double entendres ...

"Its why I love that John will have Sarah by his side ..."

Her son Jack graduates from the Naval Academy next year. Her son Jimmy an Iraq vet. Explains the Navy and USMC pins.

So if she's 13 years younger than him ... she's 59 or 60 depending on when her birthday is. (peter griffin voice) Holy crap!

again ... she's 59 or 60.

And she saved two orphans from Mother Teresa's village in India.

Wonder Woman! Speaking of TV theme songs I should have channeled for the Week One picks ...

She just accurately pronounced 5 countries. Which beats Bush's personal record of three.

(I kid, I kid. Although I wonder, are the Dems gonna do the same thing as Bush did in 2000, and work all these foreign leaders and countries into his debate responses to make him seem up to speed on foreign affairs when he's not got a clue? Yeah, let that sink in fellow donkeys. We nominated a man dumber and less qualified for this job than the current occupant of it. Excuse me while I bash my head into the desk ...)

Some chick that is Cindy McCain's hero.

Good point, that McCain lead the way to restore relations with Vietnam. Nixonesque with China, if you ask me. Except Nixon was never tortured by the ChiComs.

Tuesday night's printout was 19 pages. I've gotta be pushing that mark right now.

Building up to him ... but the schedule says 9:11 for McCain to start. Building in 5 minutes for the applause, maybe 5-6 for a video, we're ahead of schedule?

1:38 to go in the Meadowlands. Giants up 9 with the ball. ONBC, OMSNBC, sorry fellas, no excuse to not cover this live ...

And she's out. Crowd leaps to its feet. Nowhere near as energized as when Rudy yielded the stage to Governor Palin last night ... but then again, far more energized than any moment at the DNC save for the Kennedy tribute. Because at least the Republicans nominated a credible candidate. Our credible candidate is in the Veep slot. And sitting at home in Chappaqua, NY ...

Wow, CSPAN's building in 1:10 for this speech. Figuring 10 minutes for confetti, balloons, and fun, that's an hour of talking. I hope he does well ... but stuff like this is NOT McCain's strength. He'd be better off keeping this in the 40 minute range and praying the teleprompter dude is smarter than the one operating it last night.

More crazy Texans.

Hey, finally some delegates dancing. Only took 4 days.

Drunk Abe Lincoln looking fellow.

Hey! "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang! FINALLY some freaking dance your ass off music! Again, what took so long! The DNC had this going before night one even convened!

I'm guessing Will's in a foul mood. The Jim Zorn era? Not off to a good start. Or a competent one. Or hopeful. Awful performance by his offense tonight. 16-7 defending champs barring a 68 yard final play toss.

More crazy Texans! I actually own that shirt somewhere, the Texas flag shirt. Oh yeah.

Maybe I should try to find that and wear it when I get the "group of mo fo'ing idiots" to sign the masturbation gloves picture at the home opener.

And yes, I might have been feeling good, and I might have forgotten some key things like "who is Kristy Lee Cook" last night ... but a promise is a promise. I'll ask the gang of mo fo idiots to sign their moment of infamy next Sunday ...

(Its not like I've ever been decked by an irate fan at a football game before. Oh wait, I have ...)

"Drill Baby Drill!" sign. Oh, I'd like to ... for oil, of course ...

The lights dim. The McCain intro video begins.

With that, I'm out. I'll recap McCain's speech by lunch tomorrow.

They're playing the same Dallas rip-off theme song in this video that they did in Palin's. And I'm good with it.

Until the next post, remember: Kristy Lee Cook performed "Faithfully" on the 2008 Idol season. Carrie Underwood did not perform "Faithfully" in the 2005 season. An item I will never forget after last night ...

as reggie jackson would say ...

Wow. Just ... wow. What a ... amazing, jaw dropping, awe-inspiring, just ... wow. Wow, wow, wow.

And no, I'm not talking about my incredible, unbelievable, "somebody done effed up" brain fart on the final question of trivia last night that cost us not just the victory, but placing in the competition.

(Although thankfully, we were still invited for the championship round next week afterwards).

No, I'm talking about the woman seeking to be the next Vice President of the United States.

Sarah Palin.

Just ... wow.

Let's hit the highlights first. Then my simple three word reaction.

Huge, and I mean, hu-yuge, ovation as she walks out. We're at 3 minutes and counting. Just ... nobody at the DNC generated this kind of support, save for Uncle Teddy. And the applause, the love, for Senator Kennedy was more a goodbye, not a hello.

"Mr. Chairman, delegates, my fellow citizens, I will be honored to accept your nomination for Vice President of the United States". Another historic high in a year filled with them.

"They overlooked the caliber of the man himself, the determination, the resolve, the sheer guts of John McCain".

"There's a time for politics, and a time for leadership. A time to campaign, and a time to put our country first". Solid line.

Stressing McCain's unwavering support for the war in Iraq. "As the mother of one of those troops, that is exactly the kind of man I want as commander in chief!"

USA! chants flying. This place is absolutely ready to explode. As is the main room in a comfortable house in south KC.

There was nowhere near this much geniune excitement on the DNC floor. Probably because half the delegates there knew we nominated an unelectable moron, and the other half are in denial ...

"From the outside, no family seems typical, and that's how it is with us."

"Sometimes the greatest challenges bring the biggest joys". Awesome.

"To the families of special needs ... (cut off by long, loud applause) ... to the families of special needs children all across this country, I have a special message for you. I pledge to you, if we're elected, you will have not just a friend, but an advocate in the White House!" (huge applause) As (probably) the only Democrat alive that is anti-abortion, well stated.

"2 decades and 5 children later, he's still my guy!" Man, I hope someday to meet someone I can say that about. Well, not quite, I'd say "she's still my girl!" but you get the point.

"This is America! Every woman can walk through every door of opportunity!" Great line.

Comparing herself to Truman. That's a stretch, to put it mildly.

On "small town folk" -- "They love their country in good times and bad, and they're ALWAYS proud of America!" Take that, Michelle.

"hockey mom". I love that phrase for some reason.

She is having a blast up there, you can see it shining through. She's relaxed, she's confident, she's having fun.

"You know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Lipstick!" She is effing en fuego right now.

"And since our opponents in this election seem to look down on that experience (mayor of a small town), let me explain to them what that job involves" Huge applause. She's taking it right to Barry. Awesome.

"I guess a small town mayor is sort of like a community organizer ... except that you have actual responsibilites!" Awesome. She's kicking him in the nuts and bashing him with a tire iron at this point.

The crowd is going ape sh*t. They might blow the roof off this joint. This is ... this is beyond inspiring. This is arguably the best speech I have ever sat and listened to. Just incredible.

"I might add, in a small town, we don't quite know what to make of a candidaten who lavishes praise on us when we're listening, and then talks about how bitterly we cling to our religion and guns when we aren't listening". Another awesome line. More tremendous applause.

"We prefer candidates who don't talk about us one way in Scranton and another way in San Francisco". Bingo.

She's going after the media now. The floor is eating this up.

Hilarious camera pan to CBS News. Bob Schieffer is even having fun with this.

"Here's a little news flash for those reporters and commentators: I'm not going to Washington to seek your great opinion. I'm going to Washington to serve the people of this great country!" HUGE ovation. We might need some roofers to examine the Xcel Center in the morning. Awesome stuff.

"No one expects us all to agree on everything, but we are expected to govern with integrity". Great line.

"I got rid of a few things in the governor's office I didn't think the citizens should have to pay for. That luxury jet? Was over the top. (pause) I put it on eBay!" HUGE ovation. This is just awesome. I seriously, I have never watched a speech this dynamic from someone on the other side of the political aisle. She is just kicking ass and taking names tonight.

"I came to office to control spending by request if possible, but by veto if necessary". Great line.

"I told the Congress thanks, but no thanks, on that Bridge to Nowhere. If our state wants to build a bridge, we'll build it ourselves!" Another great line.

Going off about how she took on Big Oil. Solid.

"We cannot leave ourselves at the mercy of foreign suppliers". Amen, Governor. Amen.

"Take it from a gal who knows the north slope of Alaska -- we've got lots of both (oil and gas)" Huge applause line.

Chick being escorted up the aisle by security.

"Our opponents say over and over again that drilling won't solve all our problems. As if we didn't know that already". Great line.

"We need American energy brought to you by American ingenuity produced for you by American workers!" Great line.

"There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, its easy to forget this is a man who has authored two memours but hasn't authored a single piece of legislation in the Senate!" Awesome line.

"This is a man who can give an entire speech about the wars America is fighting, and never use the word victory! (applause) Except when he's talking about his own campaign!" Another huge ovation from the floor. They're eating this up.

(As am I).

"When the cloud of rhetoric has passed, when the roar of applause has died down, when the stadium lights are turned out ... and when those styrofoam Greek columns are hauled back to some studio lot ..." and the floor explodes! Great line!

"What exactly does he (Obama) seek to accomplish? After he's done turning back the rising waters and healing the planet." Another great line. She is just nailing this.

She is just tearing him apart on foreign policy.

"Al quada terrorists are seeking to inflict harm on Americans everywhere ... and he's worried someone won't read them their rights". Ouch. She's just nailing this out of the park right now.

Going off about all the taxes Obama has proposed to raise.

"How are they going to be better off if their taxes go up? How are you going to be better off if our opponent adds a massive tax burden to the economy?" Great lines.

"In politics, there are some candidates who use change to promote their careers. And then, there are some, who use their careers to promote change" The floor is coming unhinged. As am I. This speech is beyond incredible.

"Those candidates are the ones whose names appear on legislation and landmarks, not on buttons or signs ... or self designed Presidential seals". Awesome blast. The floor booing Obama heavily.

"There are those who give great speeches and talk about great things ... and then there are those like John McCain who actually do great things".

"He's a leader who isn't looking for a fight, but isn't afraid of one either".

"Harry Reid, the leader of the current do-nothing Senate (floor boos loudly), he said "I can't stand John McCain". Ladies and gentlemen, perhaps no accolade we will hear this week is better proof that we've chosen the right man!" Awesome line. 20 seconds of uninterrupted applause.

"Clearly what the Majority Leader was driving at is that he can't stand up to John McCain".

"The American Presidency is not supposed to be a journey of personal discovery".

"This world of threats and dangers, its not just a community, and it doesn't need an organizer".

"There's only one man in this election who has really ever fought for you". HUGE applause. (and true).

"There's only one man who has fought for you where winning means survival, and defeat means death, and that man is John McCain". (steve nodding his head in agreement).

"He would bring the compassion of one that once was powerless ... the special confidence of those that have seen evil, and have seen how evil is overcome." Another great line.

Great, great, great, great story about McCain's POW experience. "Raising the thumb". Jesus, I've got tears in my eyes. Seriously. This is just incredible.

"For a season, a gifted speaker can inspire with his words. For a lifetime, John McCain has inspired with his deeds".

"If character is the measure in this election, hope the theme, and change the goal we share, then I ask you to join our cause, and help America elect a great man as the next President of the United States! Thank you, and God Bless America!"

And the floor comes unhinged.

We're at 4 minutes of uninterrupted applause and counting.

And here's ... Johnny!

And that's it.

So ... my reaction?

Three simple words.

"Second f*cking base".

The World Series game in 1977 where Reggie Jackson hit three home runs on three pitches. When asked afterwards where his third shot, just a rocket off the bat, landed, that was his response. "Second f*cking base". He'd hit it so hard, so far, so out of the park, that when it finally landed, it bounced back with such force that it landed back on the infield.

Last night, Sarah Palin's speech landed at "second f*cking base".

I can't even begin to explain in words how incredible this was. I mean, this was beyond a grand slam. This was beyond inspiring, uplifting, on target. This was ...

Second f*cking base.

Governor, job well done.

(I guess my mind has been officially made up ...)

the rnc: live blog ... night one? night two? who knows?

A couple updates:

First, since I don't want to keep doing a "live blog" without "interactive responses", I set up a Yahoo! account so I can instant message. My Yahoo! ID is teamtito15. I sent out a couple messenger invites to add to the friends list. But if you want in, let me know. I'll be logged into the Yahoo IM for as long as this live blog thing goes.

Second, I will not be live blogging tomorrow night. But I do plan to live blog night three? night four? Whatever Thursday night now is. I'll be here. Like a horny guy in a bar, ready to pounce on the first hot piece of, uuh, tail that shows interest.

Finally, I have no idea how long I'll go tonight. I am not a conservative. I am not a Republican. And the RNC is never as much fun as the DNC because ... well, let's face it, most of the speakers the Republicans will trot out, are sane. Which means they're boring. I've got a huge bottle of Polar Ice vodka for this, but if I have to keep hitting it to maintain interest ... anyways. (marvin gaye voice) Let's get it on!

6:10pm CT. I have it on OMSNBC, as we have some boring roundtable discussion on CSPAN.

Let me just say, the media going off about Governor Palin's daughter's situation, is really pissing me off. If they think they're helping their boy Barry by piling on a 17 year old girl, they're nuts. This is the Wellstone Memorial all over again. Two months from now, when McCain wins the 45 states and the District landslide he's going to get, we'll look at this moment as one of the key turning points.

gopconvention.com has nothing up in terms of timing, order, anything on the schedule. demconvention.com had everything broken down to almost minute-by-minute detail. Very, very disappointing out of the GOP.

Some of our speakers tonight? Joe Lieberman. Former Law and Order DA Fred Thompson. First Lady Laura Bush. House Minority Leader John Boehner of Ohio.

And oh yeah, the President.

Hang on, let me confirm I have plenty, and I mean PLENTY, of Polar Ice vodka on hand to cope with that last line ... yup, we're good.

Bush is not speaking in the 9pm hour according to Keith Olbermann. Olbermann looks mad as hell to be in St. Paul. But OMSNBC. They're not in the tank for Barry, (hillary voice) no way, no how.

Still no idea when this damned thing gets underway. I'm guessing 6:30?

This Politico discussion on CSPAN is beyond unwatchable. Let me flip up to CNN.

We're back on CSPAN.

We're live on the floor. The house band is playing. They're inteviewing a Florida delegate.

Man these floor interviews are ridiculously boring. Give the Dems credit: our delegates dress up in ridiculous costumes, dance in the aisles, and look like they're having a fun time. Republicans? This place looks like a mass. Tragic.

Interviewing a senior advisor for McCain. Still no clue what tomorrow's schedule is, other than I presume Gov. Palin will close the night down.

Hey, we got a balloon being tossed around, that's neat. It ain't a beach ball, but you gotta start somewhere with the church crowd.

Interviewing the White House Budget Director. Judging by the fact that Bush entered the White House with record surpluses, and we currently are running record deficits, I'm gonna guess this guy is pretty bad at his job.

I love Republicans talking about energy issues. Uuh, guys? You've owned the government for pretty much the entire decade. Look in the freaking mirror.

I'm going back to OMSNBC, the delegate interviews are boring. Everyone's sober. Unlike the Dems.

OMSNBC reports Bush speaks at 8:50. I might have to take a break, I don't think I can stomach 2 1/2 straight hours of the inevitable (system of a down voice) lies from the tablecloth we're about to be fed.

CNN live from the convention floor. They've got a better schedule laid out on the bottom of the screen than the Republicans do at their official website for this event.

There we go, a couple delegates acting like fools. About damned time.

And yes, its the Texas delegation. "Drive Friendly, the Texas Way!" That sign always kills me, nobody in Texas drives friendly. We drive responsibly. As in "if you're going less than 85 in the fast lane, prepare to get bumped into the retaining wall". Seriously, drivers in Kansas City effing suck. Nobody up here has a clue how to drive. Here's a thought KC drivers: its called the "passing lane" for a reason! If you aren't going faster than every other car on the freeway, you aren't passing!

And for those keeping track at home, I believe I have 7 speeding tickets, one unfortunate drinking and driving incident, two wrecks (amazingly neither one my fault ...), and a night spent in the pokey for "failure to pay speeding ticket on time", when the good folks in Shawnee failed to cash my check I left in the overnight drop. But yes, I do consider myself to be a "good driver".

CNN goes to commercial. Back to CSPAN.

Boehner at the podium for the "presentation of colors".

National Anthem performed by Philip somebody from Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He looks like someone you'd expect to run into at a South Bronx deli.

Philip Alongi. Going opera style with the anthem.

If I point during the "and the rockets red glare", and make the fake bomb noise to replicate the fireworks going off during "the bombs bursting in air", is that disrespectful? Hope not, I do that at every Chiefs home game.

Boom! Boom!

Oh say does that Star Spangled banner yet wave? O'er the land of the free ... and the home of the ...

(peter griffin voice) whopper?

(steve voice) CHIEFS!!!

(cue biggest waste of taxpayer dollars known to man, aka "the flyover").

Rev. Robert G. Certain of Marietta, Georgia with the invocation. And he's reading it out of a freaking binder.

Unlike the DNC, the delegates are actually praying during the prayer.

There is at least one black delegate in attendance. Or one more than I expected to see tonight.

(I kid, I kid. The Republicans are every bit as tolerant of minorities as Democrats are. Unless you're gay. Then you have cooties and don't deserve equal rights in every sense of the meaning of the word "equal".)

A Native American color guard. (george takei voice) oh my.

Floor is about 50% full.

Here's the "in memoriam" portion. I love these things for some reason.

Nowhere near as good as the Dems was. No pictures, two names per slide, just a crappy half-assed effort to honor the fallen "leaders of the Republican party".

Huge applause for Jesse Helms.

And Henry Hyde, a man I feel nothing but utter contempt and disgust for.

Then again, I didn't know he'd died. Hopefully it wasn't during another "youthful indiscretion" that occurred when he was 41.

Huge applause for Tony Snow. Well deserved. I liked that guy. Was privileged to meet him once at this journalism conference I went to in high school.

The only stand alone was Gerry Ford. And he gets a video tribute.

Ford is a highly underrated President, in my never humble opinion.

"signed a treaty that strengthened human rights". Again, Republicans are tolerant, understanding, and completely in favor of human freedom and dignity ... unless you're gay. Yes, this is a sore spot with me.

And no, I'm not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I just have a couple good friends that are. And they should have just as much right to be trapped in a loveless marriage as we straight folks have.

John Boehner kicks off the speeches. I actually like this guy, his "temper tantrum" on the House floor a couple weeks ago was awesome.

"Across America today, families are struggling. Sky high gas prices are squeezing them". Uuh, John? Who's controlled the government for the freaking decade?!?!

"Washington today is broken. And the Democratic Congress is its most visible symbol". Good line.

And he's unloading on Speaker Pelosi. I love it. The incompetent b*tch.

They just showed the teleprompter, and his speech is coded in white (for normal conversational tone) and red (for mean grizzley bear tone). Smart. Very smart.

Now he's hyping his "temper tantrum" on the House floor. Apparently they're still going at it "as I speak". Nice.

Back to trashing Speaker Pelosi. No complaints so far.

"America is the greatest nation on earth". Amen, Congressman. Amen. And unlike Barry, you didn't use a past tense verb to deliver that statement.

I liked the DNC stage better ... but the huge uniscreen with the waving flag is kind of cool. Actually, its really cool. But the Dems stage was better.

Bush at 8:45 CT, Thompason at 9:10, Lieberman closes it down at 9:40. I like Joe, a lot, but that's a mistake. Lieberman is not an effective public speaker. I'd have put Thompson last.

The Texas delegation having fun again.

And we're at a dead spot.

More crazy Texans.

Karl Rove and Bill O'Reilly waving to the faithful from the FOX News booth.

Really old guy trying to figure out how to text on his cell phone. Funny stuff.

Not sure what the hell's going on. Again, at least the Dems filled all the dead spots with the house band. This is just ... its half assed, is what it is. Then again, if you aren't watching CSPAN you aren't seeing this anyways.

Vodka tonic number three is being poured. And its in the Jets beer glass I use that's a 16 ouncer. And I always make drinks "Steve style" ... meaning 50/50 ratio on booze and tonic water. This could get ugly. Or really "vividly imaginative" as Brett would say.

"Don't Stop Believin'" now playing. Quick note: my favorite, unquestioned sporting moment of last season ... other than Mario Chalmers' shot for the ages that had me curled up crying in the fetal position for 4 straight minutes ... was at the end of the KU / Iowa State game last year, when the PA guy encouraged us to wait until the end of the blowout b/c the band had a tribute for the team. So we stick around, and the video board starts playing season highlights going game by game ... and you hear the drums start. bam, bam, bam, bam. bam, bam, bam, bam. Then the trumpets. Finally, you have the full band, and you immediately know what to sing. "Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world ..." Effing awesome. Nothing like 40,000 plus leaving the stadium still rocking to "Don't Stop Believin'" Because we didn't stop believin'. KU was 11-0!!! Here's hoping KU football starts 11-0 again.

Quick check of the other room. Dusty, Duke the wonder dog, and "Rufus" all passed out.

God I love this song. I am singing right along with it. It rocked the Sopranos finale, it rocked the KU Football home finale, and its rocking the RNC and a computer room in south KC right now.

HUGE ovation from the floor as the song ends. They loved it.

HUGE ovation from the floor for the photo of Bush. I don't care for the man, but I do respect him. Robert Duvall read that video tribute to Republican leaders.

Whatever you think of Bush, give him this: zero, zip, nada in terms of terrorist attacks on American soil since 9/11. The man has done his primary, numero uno job.

(I can't believe I just wrote that).

Jo Ann Davidson, RNC Co-Chair, kicks off the 7pm hour. In a related development, I have just kicked off vodka tonic number four.

Dusty: (possibly baked) what the hell are you doing, typing like a fool in there?
Steve: (definitely intoxicated) blogging the RNC tito!
Dusty: (probably baked) (pauses) what's the RNC?

And frighteningly ... he does plan to vote ... and shockingly, he's for McCain.

(Gregg put it best: Palin locked up the stoner vote. And the horny guys drooling over a MILF vote. Definitely what the evangelical wing was hoping to attract with the pick, I'm sure.)

Whoa, major f*ck up. This Davidson chick just called her "Sarah Palentey". Uuh, no, its "Palin". Not Palentey.

Saying something about "capturing the spirit of the Republican Party". At least she got Palin's name right this time, but she paused before saying it, she's still unsure.

She's got a horrible underbite too.

And she's done.

"The Honorable Norm Coleman". Kick Al Franken's ass man.

Whoa, somebody overloaded on the teeth whitening.

This guy reminds me of John Kerry. And that's not a good thing.

Whoa, they kicked sex shops out of downtown under this guy's leadership? (steve voice) boo! boo! (throwing rotten tomatoes at screen) boo!

"I'm not indecisive, am I? That could have been an Obama campaign slogan". Great line.

"Rufus" is awake and slowly walking into the computer room. Probably to fall back asleep on the floor. For him, that's like a week's worth of exercise.

Nope, "Rufe" needed to go potty. He's on the deck now. Probably for the night.

Really hot chick in a homemade McCain t-shirt.

That reminds me, I spent most of this weekend at the lake with some friends and acquaintences, most ... ok, nearly all of whom, are ardent Obama backers. So Saturday, we're sitting on the dock, enjoying some frosty cold adult beverages, and inevitably the talk turns to the election. The only three people who seemed to get what's going to happen in November (a McCain landslide) were me, Dusty ... and our buddy Mickey, who's the biggest die hard left wing liberal I have ever met. He makes me look like a Focus on the Family subscriber, and I have never been accused of being anything other than a "loony liberal". Or "kooky liberal". Or "f*cking crazy". Anyways, he's completely convinced the PUMA factor, combined with the Palin pick, sealed it for McCain.

(I agree. Doesn't mean I'm voting McCain, I vote my conscience whether they're a winner or not. I'm still on the fence. But I agree, its McCain's election to lose. And barring a LEGITIMATE scandal, this thing is over. McCain with at least 350 electoral votes. If not even more.)

RNC video on 9/11 and the flag. Sorry, not really paying attention, I'm still flashing back to the mean Obama backers cutting me off from the vodka Saturday night because "you're on the wrong side". Uuh, I'm not on a side! I'm still able to be swayed you f*cking idiots!

(That, and they're all MU fans and hated me for proudly wearing the "Fighting Manginos" t-shirt during the MU / Illinois game. Wait, that's probably what they meant by "you're on the wrong side". But still. Ridiculous. You cut off my vodka supply, you're gonna pay. Karma. Its a b*tch).

Pledge of Allegiance 49 minutes in. Not that they're playing this up.

You do realize the ORIGINAL, ACTUAL pledge did NOT contain the phrase "under God". By her emphasis on that two word phrase, I'm guessing no.

Former Chargers DB, and current Pastor of some church in San Diego, Miles McPherson. I want to once again register my extreme outrage that Reverend Al Sharpton was NOT given a speaking slot at the DNC.

He just praised Mayor Nagin. And dropped the "poh-lice" line.

"You may not see God, but he's here". Do you think?

"If there was ever a time we needed to call on God, it is now. So I'm gonna ask all of you to bow your heads and pray with me for a minute ..." A scene you will never see at the DNC, that's for damned sure.

If this isn't a blatant "assume the position and pucker up" play for the religious base ...

Next up? Ashley Gunn from Brandon, MS. And she is very pleasant to ogle. I mean, listen to. Kind of has a Kaley Cuolo look to her. And I freaking LOVE "The Big Bang Theory".

Not that I'm Leonard. Or Shelton.

(steve once again giving serious consideration to joining adult friend finder to, uuh, find an adult friend ...)

She founded "Students Aiding Indigent Families". SAIF. (george takei voice) oh my.

57 minutes into this thing, and no pearls yet. Shame, Republicans. Shame.

Oh my God, this is a more ridiculous "sob story fest" than anything the DNC puts out there. This is pathetic. Come on Republicans. You are better than this. Its why I respect your convention: the grownups are in charge.

I love how the speakers are hyping McCain's character. Look it, I don't doubt he's an honorable man ... but only one of these two candidates has been confirmed to have been (old school! h-town voice) rockin', knockin' da boots! with someone other than the chick he was married to. And it ain't Barry.

The flag thing is still cool. But I halfway expect a Toby Keith sighting here shortly.

Speak of psychic powers! Toby Keith song playing right now.

Cindy McCain is in da hizzouse. Creepy old guy sneaks a hug in with her.

Really, there are no unattractive females on either side of the ticket here. Cindy is hot. Gov. Palin is beyond hot. Michelle Obama has a confidence to her that I really dig. And Biden's wife is amazing. America, we're all winners here.

Whoa, the vodka tonics kicking in. Be back in (chuck woolery voice) 2 and 2.

McCain's 96 year old mom in the house! 96! That's incredible. God bless her.

Speaking of hotties, the Honorable Michele Bachmann, a Rep from Minnesota. A complete pleasure to look at. But no pearls. Outrageous. Come on, you're Republicans! You're rich and privileged! Wear the damned pearls already!

"We do have a lot of liberals here in Minnesota, but they're happy liberals!" Or horny. Either way, it works.

Jesus, she's had 5 kids too?!?! My Lord, I might need to reconsider this whole "I don't want to be with a chick with kids" thing ...

Speech is on adoption, huge focus on McCain's adopted child. Awesome stuff. Not all liberals are in favor of killing our kids though, just wanted to get on record with that. I am not "pro choice".

Although I am "pro sex", "pro free contraception on demand", "pro morning after pill as available as aspirin", and oh yeah, "anti abstinence". And yet, I still can't get anyone interested. I don't get it!

(Wait, I just saw a reflection of myself with the shirt off. I take that back, I do get it ...)

Wow, I really must be feeling the sexual frustration tonight. Wow. I don't apologize to anyone offended in the reading audience. (But if you're a hot chick, childless, between the ages of 22 and 40, if you want a good time, call ...)

"Barack Obama speaks of a lifetime of service. John McCain has LIVED a lifetime of service". Great line.

This hottie starting to get the crowd fired up.

And she's done. "We're a really nice state that loves you." No ma'am, we love you!

Some dude and his daughter up next, from Phoenix. I'm gonna go with "Friends of John" for 200, Alex.

Actually they're friends of Cindy. And man, is she ROCKING the pearls tonight! (fist pump)!!! Yes! Go Cindy Go!

Cindy and John adopted one daughter, this guy adopted the other? Awesome, awesome stuff.

Hey, the Florida delegation with great seating. The RNC: we don't screw over Florida and Michigan like the DNC does!!!

"I wear a sombrero". Awesome. Sombreros kick serious ass.

I miss the "Big Sombrero" in Tampa.

Teddy Roosevelt tribute video. Nowhere near as awesome as the "Uncle Teddy" tribute video last week.

Next up, an "acclaimed singer and songwriter" that I have never heard of. But she's hot. So I'll stay tuned in.

Oh Jesus, she's got the nose stud that so totally turns me on. I might need to take a 5 minute break. This chick is just ... I'm telling you, I need 5. I'll be back.

(steve) dude, check out channel 250. This chick is just smoking hot! Right down to the effing nose stud that totally gets me, uuh ... you know ...
(dusty) (flips to channel 250)
(dusty) she's kind of thick.
(steve) (nearly spits out vodka tonic) what?!?!
(dusty) what, 130? 140?
(steve) (angry) well .. f*ck you!
(dusty) (not missing a beat) I wish she would.

See, he's starting to learn how to play along! Only took 18 months, but hey, woo! He's nowhere near as good as Gregg is at the smart ass one liner comebacks, but he's learning. Give him another 2 years, he might just make it after all.

Rachael Lampa. My Lord, I hope she has a myspace page.

(or better yet, an adult friend finder profile).

(Good God, I really, really, really need a girlfriend).

(george takei voice) oh my, the close up on the nose stud. I'm telling you, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that turns me on like the little nose stud on the side of the nostril. I so dig that accessory. Just ... (steve drooling onto keyboard ...)

I think she's still singing. I have no idea what, but I'm sure its beautiful.

Wow. Just ... wow.

She looks like Jessica Alba with the nose stud. I'm in absolute awe.

And she's a fantastic singer. If she comes through KC, I'd go see her.

No, thank you! Thank you! (steve wildly applauding in computer room)!

"Thunderstruck" follows her up. A perfectly acceptable follow-up. Jesus, I need a shower after that. That was Carrie Underwood at "Idol Gives Back", times ten for me. And I believe the phrase of the night from that performance back in April was "thank god ashley's not here".

What is a "superintendent of public instruction"?

Again, no pearls. Outrageous.

Oh, its the state school superintendent. I thought it was affiliated with the penal system. Or as "The Judge", Bill Pidto would note, "its penal in nature".

That line always cracked me up.

No. She's "pro school choice". I am not.

Former first lady Barbara Bush in the house. Rocking the pearls.

Former President Bush in the house.

(steve politely applauding for both).

(the convention wildly applauding both).

The speaker stopped speaking. She just literally stopped to allow the applause for the Bushes to go unimpeded. Class move. Bush I is an honorable, decent, incredible American that deserves our respect, regardless of which side of the aisle we're on.

Current speaker, by the way, is the lovely Shanna Hanson, the Captain of the Minneapolis Fire Department. I have no idea how this chick is a firefighter ... but wow, I gotta hand it to the RNC. They are trotting all the hotties out tonight.

Former President Bush and former First Lady Bush look very, very good. Like I noted about the Carters last week, its awesome to see good people looking good as they enjoy the later years of life. Woo America!

The floor has lost interest, she's going off about the bridge collapse.

Scary Liza Minnelli lookalike delegate. I nearly puked.

(Although she ruled in "Arthur". Especially since you couldn't really tell if she and the late, great Sir Dudley Moore were actually acting).

I would have saved this video for prime time. Very, very effective. Highlighting the Republican Party's foundation ... as the party opposed to slavery. Great, great segment here. Should have saved it for when the networks were tuned in. I'd have put this between Thompson and Lieberman.

Wow, we hit the two hour mark.

Comparing Lincoln to Bush. In many regards, this is appropriate. Both facing a war the electorate turned on at some point. Both nearly lost the re-election bid due to war weariness. Both kept appointing incompetent, incapable generals to lead the primary front in the war effort. Lincoln eventually lucked into Grant. Bush eventually lucked into Petraeus.

Tommy Espinoza, the President and CEO of the Raza Development Fund, up next. I'm gonna go with "shady development firm" for 200, Alex.

"I am a Catholic (applause), Hispanic (applause), (pause) and Democrat! (huge boos)" Nice to see the RNC does have some DNC qualities to it.

This speech is going nowhere fast.

The President in 34 minutes. "Arthur Branch" in 54. "Fighting Joe" Lieberman in 84. I don't see my liver making it much past the 44 minute mark ...

Again, let me rant on the gopconvention.com site. The Dems had this thing laid out, speaker by speaker, almost down to the exact freaking minute they'd take the stage. The RNC site doesn't even list the speakers in the order they'll be talking. Half assed RNC. Half assed.

On the other hand ...

(simpsons voice) if there's a task that must be done! Don't turn your tail and run! Don't pout! Don't sob! Just do a half assed job ... if you cut every corner then its really not so bad! Everybody does it! Even mom and dad ...

OK, so McCain believes in "the sanctity of human life from conception. He believes in the sanctity of marriage and family life!" really? Last time I checked, he opposed the right of legal American citizens who happen to enjoy being with a member of the same sex, actually having those sanctities.

HUGE, HUGE, HUGE ovation for the George H. W. Bush tribute video. Awesome stuff actually.

(steve applauding with the convention floor ...)

I don't think we screwed up electing Clinton, but what an honorable, decent man this former President is. Which is obviously evident in the Clinton's (and most Democrats) love for him.

So many amazing pieces of legislation he signed. So many historic world events under his watch. Just a great, great tribute video! And the floor is going crazy! As is this blogger in his computer room in south KC ...

One minute in, ovation still going.

As it is here.

"Cleveland, North Dakota". For a second there I thought I heard "Piedmont, North Dakota".

(bar chick) what does coyote ugly mean?
(hot bar owner) have you ever woken up next to someone, so ugly, that you'd have knawed your arm off to get away? That's coyote ugly!

I figure, if I've made it this far, I'll go up to at least the President, if not through it. I would like to see "ADA Branch" and "African Americans for Gore / Lieberman" uninterrupted though.

(my way of saying, you've got about 30 minutes of blogging left).

Exchange a moment ago:

(dusty) you almost done?
(steve) why?
(dusty) I, uuh, want to use the computer.
(steve) why? you've got your work laptop.
(dusty) not really an option?
(steve) what's her name?
(dusty) heather!
(steve) lucky bastard.
(dusty) has she IM'd yet?
(steve) I'm logged in as me.
(dusty) (in shock) you IM?!?!
(steve) since today!

Current speaker is a chick from Rappahannock, VA, a retired US Army captain. Kind of sad actually. Most women can serve anywhere they want, but by god, if a chick chooses to sleep with another chick, you're not good enough to serve your nation in uniform.

And yes, I am going to keep hammering home the hypocritical, screw you attitude of religious conservatives when it comes to our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters, every chance I get. If you have a problem with it, tough. They're no different than us, other than in whom turns them on. "One nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all".

Huge ovation for McCain's POW mates.

I'm applauding right along with them. True American heroes.

And Dusty's out. Off to meet "something with some good stuff!"

Not sure if that means his, uuh, supplier, or this "Heather" chick. Either way, Viva Dusty!

And I need a brief break before the President to empty vodka tonics number 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7.

Huge ovation still going strong.

"Yes We Can!" chants going. Awesome slap in the face to Obama.

And after 3 minutes I'm back. Judging by his attire and the empty "box", I'm guessing D's off to meet the supplier.

Huge ovation for the veterans still ongoing.

Awesome background for this speaker. They are leading into (current) President Bush awesomely.

Laura to introduce him!

Yes! I like her! A lot!

(Note: I have never met a Laura I didn't like. Even the Laura I'm not supposed to mention because she screwed my "landlord" over ...)

HUGE ovation for the First Lady.

Beautiful red outfit. And pearl earrings.

(steve smiling broadly).

Recognizes the in-laws. Another HUGE ovation.

We don't have near the love for the Carters or Clinton that the RNC has for the Bushes. Kind of cool to see.

HUGE applause for Palin. I'm applauding with them, I like this pick.

"I'm proud that America's first female to be Vice President will be a Republican!" I'm not proud, I wanted it to be Hillary ... but no matter who wins, what a historic campaign this is.

Laura highlighting Condi Rice. HU-YUGE ovation for her.

Bush on video from the White House coming up.

"I told you about a man of character, whose politics would not shift with the winds of politics or polls". Agreed. He held firm, no matter what. Its why he has my respect.

(Not admiration. But respect. There is a difference).

"In honor of our nominee, let's call it a little straight talk". Awesome line.

She's praising No Child Left Behind. Ask ANY educator in America what they think of it, Madame First Lady. Its a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad piece of legislation that has driven America's best educators into retirement and other lines of work.

Praising Bush's SC appointments. I like Roberts. I opposed Alito. 1 out of 2 ain't bad.

Yes, faith based and community based charities, that is the way to solve issues of poverty and community problems. Notes the 35 bi-partisan governors who agreed with the plan.

Wow. 100 Africans had AIDS medicine when Bush took office. Now its 2 million. Awesome.

"You might call that change you can really believe in". AWESOME line.

She's got the floor wrapped around her finger. As well as me.

"And let's not forget, President Bush has kept the American people safe!" I hit on that earlier. Its his greatest accomplishment, bar none.

HUGE ovation at that line. Both here and there.

She has a tremendous future in Congress if she wants it. Part of me hopes she does. Very effective tonight.

And here's Number 43!

HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE ovation for the video linkup. Looks like he's in the Press Room.

I cannot believe how much he has aged in 8 years. Why I'm never running for public office 101 ...

Blue tie. Not sure that's a good choice.

To swallow hard and praise McCain, that's tremendously classy on his part. Considering all McCain did to undermine him in 2000.

Shoutout to mom and dad. Nice.

This would be far more effective sitting in the Oval Office. But its working nonetheless.

Highlighting McCain refusing release. (steve applauding mccain's utterly incredible heroism, patriotism, and balls to the face of the enemy ...)

"If the Hanoi Hilton could not break John McCain's resolve to do what is best for his country, you can be sure the angry left never will!!!" BEST line of either convention so far. Unbelievably inspiring.

"John is a steadfast opponent of wasteful spending". Unlike you, sir.

You already lifted your daddy's ban on offshore drilling, not sure what else McCain can do in that regard.

"John is not afraid to tell you when he disagrees with you. Believe me, I know!" Great line.

"In the face of calls for retreat, I ordered a surge of forces in Iraq ... one Senator above all had faith in our troops and the purpose of their mission, and that was John McCain". I freely admit, I was wrong on the surge. Bush was right.

"He freely admitted he'd rather lose an election than lose a war, and that is the command and vision we need in a commander in chief!" Amen, sir. Amen!

(wait, why am I a Dem? Oh yeah, social issues ...)

I really, really, really respect Gov. Palin. I love this pick.

"Americans have always lived on the sunrise side of the mountain". Great line.

"I am optimistic because I have faith in God's power to lift up all his children to freedom ..." Unless you're gay, of course, then you're screwed.

"With Laura Bush speaking (live at the rnc tonight), you have clearly traded up ... Laura has been a fantastic First Lady". (steve wildly applauding).

And he's done at 9:01pm CT.

Laura back at the podium.

I want to switch to Charlie, George and Diane on ABC ... but she's still going. Cindy McCain applause line.

OK, with this, I'm out. You got 2 hours 52 minutes out of me. I guarantee you, the next chick lucky enough to, uuh, have fun with me, can pretty much expect the 52 second part of it. If even that long, its been a while.

Until Thursday ... peace out.

And vote!