Showing posts with label chiefs 2012. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chiefs 2012. Show all posts

Thursday, August 2, 2012

the mixologist's third 27 ...


Hell, call it “Motivational Thursday”, because we’re cranking out the next 27 in Mixology 2012!  (kazoo voice) (unsure of how to respond …)


81. “In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins.  THIS is the song that sends chills down my spine on the walk in for a prime time game.  The air filled with all the smoke from tailgating, the sun descending behind us (I tailgate in Lot G, so it literally sets behind us), and then THIS starts blaring over the PA system.  If that doesn’t get you a little bit geeked up for what’s about to happen, you don’t have a conscience.

80. “Kids” by MGMT.  I told you there’d be more than one effort by MGMT in Mixology 2012!  Also qualifies for the “field” under the “anytime a “boasheao” uses said song as her ringtone, it’s an AQ for the field”.  And if you don’t know what AQ stands for, please – watch the NCAA Tournament next March.

79. “Country Girl (Shake It For Me)” by Luke Bryan.  Rock solid tailgating option.  And yes, I need a country girl to “shake it for me” in the worst imaginable way (rimshot!)  Thank you, thank you, I’ve been here for four years and counting with no help from Barack Obama’s roads, bridges, or taxation policies.

78. “Baby” by Justin Bieber (featuring Ludacris).  Of COURSE the Beliebers check in on Mixology 2012!  And how awesome was it during the Olympics last night, when NBC noted “famous Americans tweeting about the results”, and included Justin Bieber as a “famous American”?  I say it was eight layers of awesome!  (He’s Canadian, in case you’re as asleep at the wheel as NBC’s researcher was.)

A word of caution: the next song, is included solely, and completely, because “Russ the Bus Man”?  THIS is somehow, inexplicably, his favorite song.  I have to be honest: it’s ATROCIOUS.  You literally want to pound your head against the concrete when it comes on.  But again, if Mixology gets to slip in classics like “Shots!”, or the Usher effort to appear after this song?  You gotta compromise, and compromise results in …

77. “North to Alaska” by Johnny Horton.  If you’ve never heard this song, thank God above.

76. “Lil’ Freak” by Usher (featuring Nicki Minaj).  Truth be told?  This is my favorite Ursher song.  I “freaking” LOVE this song.  Plus you’re guaranteed to get at least one couple from one of the tailgates in our general area start grinding to it, which can be epic … or vomit inducing.  My God, I really need a “lil’ freak”, don’t I (rimshot!)?

75. “Awww!  The denver broncos?!?!?!?!” (from “The Simpsons”).  Yes, this is the ONLY non-music mp3 in Mixology 2012.  Yes, every time it finally pops up?  I IMMEDIATELY SPRINT to the iPod, to make sure I can hit rewind AT LEAST 15 times to get everyone in the proper mood.  It’s arguably the best 39 seconds of television ever broadcast.  “You just don’t understand football, Marge.”

74. “Out of My Head” by Theory of a Deadman.  For personal reasons.  Offers a couple minutes to reflect and remember those who sadly are no longer with us.  And that number is growing way, way, way too damned fast for my liking.

73. “Face Down” by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.  Hey, a song about beating up your wife / girlfriend / significant other!  Who can’t get fired up by that!!!  (Actually, it’s a catchy tune.  But yeah, beating the sh*t out of your partner?  (carlito voice) that’s not cool, tito.)

72. “Anna Molly” by Incubus.  Sweet Jesus, how has Incubus not appeared yet?  That’s outrageous!  I’d call for a criminal investigation, but I’m scared what a look into my life might uncover, so let’s just move on, grateful that this awesome band finally showed up on Mixology 2012.

71. “Fooled Around and Fell in Love”, the original by Elvin Bishop.  I’ve said since the first day I met “The Kid”, that this is the personal anthem of his life.  I stand behind that statement.  (Also, it’s one of the late 1970s best efforts.  “But then I fooled around and fell in love!  I fooled around and fell in love!”)

(Plus, how great is it that a WHITE guy is named Elvin?  What's next, a Latino named Rufus?)

70. “Find Your Love” by Drake.  Whoa, a song from the last five years!  How modern of you, Stevo!  (Why thank you.  Even if it’s by a dude who starred on “Degrassi” for a few years.  No, really – Drake having a top five smash and happening career, is like Mario Lopez eclipsing Justin Bieber at this point.  It makes no sense, but you just roll with it.)

69. “Are You Ready For The Fallout” by Fastball.  Mixologist’s Choice.  Sorry, but you couldn’t be a kid attending college in Texas in the late 1990s and not love Fastball … and sorry deniers, but THIS is their best song.  “The Way” is sh*t.  THIS?  Is da bomb.

68. “Am I The Only One” by Dierks Bentley.  How the hell is Dierks just now appearing?  Wow, we are building one helluva deep field for Mixology 2012, that’s for sure.  Speaking of “am I the only one who wants to have fun tonight …”

67. “We Are Young” by Fun. (featuring Janelle Monae).  “So if by the time the bar closes, and you feel like falling down?  I’ll carry you home … TONIGHT!  We are young!  So let’s set the world on fiiiiiiii-re!  We can burn briiiiiiii-ghter!  Than the sunnnnnnnnn!”  Awesome song.

66. “Tattoos On This Town” by Jason Aldean.  Hang on, hang on – don’t throw the rotten tomatoes and other assorted rotted vegetables at me yet people!  “Hicktown” WILL be in a later pairing of 27, OK?  Fair enough?  I just like this song better.  Deal with it.  Because after all:

“There ain’t a corner of this hallowed ground,
That we ain’t laughed or cried on,
It’s where we loved, and lived learned real life stuff –
It’s everything we’re made of!

It sure left it’s mark on us!
And we sure left our mark on it!
We let the world know we were here,
With everything we did.
We laid a lot of memories down,
Like tattoos on this town!”

(That, and sweet freaking JESUS, is the girl in this video hot as holy hell …)

65. “The Remedy” by Jason Mraz.  I cannot believe this song is a decade old.  I was 25 when this bad boy came out.  I can remember head-bobbing on quarter draw night at Harpo’s to this song … in the summer of 2002.  Wow, does life fly by sometimes.

64. “Stay With Me Tonight” by Jeffrey Osborne.  Oh, late 1980s cheezy music, how I miss you!  Speaking of which:

63. “I Hate Myself For Loving You” by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.  Yes, this has been ripped off and redone as the NBC Sunday Night Football theme song.  And yes, I rip this off and come up with a Bowling Night in America theme song every Wednesday during our bowling league season (October to April.)   And yes, if I don’t get help at Charter, I should seek help somewhere …

62. “Yeah!” by Usher, featuring Lil’ Jon and Ludacris.  True story: for what I (erroneously) dubbed “Coronation Sunday”, last Sunday in March 2004, as I drove across the lovely state of Missouri to St. Louis for the KU / Georgia Tech Elite 8 game*?  Yes, this song played for like 3 ½ straight hours.  “Yeah!”  Oh, wait, KU lost essentially a home game, that they never led, needed a miraculous rally capped by a JR Giddens three to tie … so “Yeah!” might have been a bad song choice that day.  But not for Mixology 2012.

(*: the talent on the floor that day (as best I recall off the top of my head)?  Beyond sick.  For KU: Simien, Miles, Langford, Giddens, and my boy Mikey Lee, with David Padgett coming off the bench.  For Tech?  JR Crittendon, Luke Schenscher, Jarrett Jack, and some dude you might have heard of named Chris Bosh.  Every one of those players at least got a cup of coffee with a NBA team.)

61. “Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynyrd Skynyrd.  Truth be told, I HATE this song.  But a good Mixologist looks out for his fellow tailgaters.  And since everyone else and his third cousin twice removed seems to love this song, it’s a staple.

60. “Float On” by Modest Mouse.  Again, spare me the over-ripened foliage being chucked – another song (far better known, by a different band) by this same name WILL APPEAR later on!  So “we’ll all float on, ok?  we’ll all float on ok?” for now.  Deal?

59. “Mr. Telephone Man” by New Edition.  Come on, like Bobby Brown, Ralph Tresvant, Johnny Gill, and Bell Biv Freaking DeVoe WEREN’T making Mixology 2012?  I’m outraged you’d even think that!  Hell, we’ve still got at least one by Bobby Brown coming.  And sadly, his denial in said song, pretty much does not reflect my life right now.  (dusty voice) so you’re saying “Humpin’ Around” is still to appear?  (stevo voice) ya think?

58. “Everybody Wants to Rule The World” by Tears for Fears.  Wow, we’re loading up on the 80s in Part III … but screw it, it’s worth loading up on. (Plus, Mike Tollin used this as the theme song for my favorite "30 For 30" documentary, "Small Potatoes", a look back at the USFL, an idea I believe would be a smashing success if it was resurrected today.)

57. “Airplanes (Part II)” by B.o.B (featuring Hayley Williams and Eminem).  “I could really use a wish right now, a wish right now, a wish right now …”  Great song.

56. “Lido Shuffle” by Boz Skaggs.  I could be 75 and be putting this thing together telepathically … and you can bet your sweet ass this song will appear on Mixology (carry the one, add the two …) 2052.  “One for the ROOOOOOOOOOAD!  LIDO! WHOAH OH OH OH OH OH OH!  He’s for the bank, he’s for the show, Lido’s waiting for the boat!”  Come on, of COURSE a song about a degenerate drunken gambler is making Mixology 2012!  (gregg voice) only one?  (stevo voice) Come on, you know Kenny Rogers’ classic is still to appear.  It is our good luck charm for a boat ride …

Which leaves the closer for this “region” of Mixology 2012, and it’s … well, it’s pretty much grandfathered into any Mixology, uuh, mix:

55: Christ, just sing it with me:

“One toke over the line, sweet Jesus!
One toke over the line!
Sitting downtown in a railway station,
One toke over the line!

Waiting for the train that goes home, sweet Mary,
Hoping that the train is on time!
Sitting downtown in a railway station,
One toke over the line!”

-- “One Toke Over the Line” by Brewer and Shipley.  It’s my dad’s favorite song of all time.  It’s in my top ten of all time.  It's definitely one of the funnest concerts I've ever attended, even if I knew exactly one song they performed.  

And if GameDay ends with you being “one toke over the line”?  Well, there’s worse things to be.  Defeated being the primary one that's definitely worse.

Until Mixology 2012 unveils its fourth regional ... and like the NCAA (hootie johnson voice) toonumunt, keeps expanding the field until a fifth regional is inevitable ... keep the suggestions coming ...

the mixologist's second 27 ...


The good news: my season tickets arrived in the mail today!!!!  (kazoo voice) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The better news?  Next week at this time, I’ll be at (the late, great mr. william grigsby voice) Prrrrrrrrice Chopper picking up all my tailgating needs for the glorified scrimmage I’ll be attending a week from tomorrow.

The bad news?  The Mixologist’s Inaugural 2012 Playlist is still only 27 songs deep.  We’ve got at least 115, 120 more to crank out before next week’s first tailgate of the season.  Here then are the next 27 going onto the iPod for Playlist 2012:


54. “The More I Drink” by Blake Shelton.  If any chorus perfectly describes Arrowhead on a vital third down with the season in the balance, it’s this one: “I get loud!  I get proud!  And it gets worse!”  And if any chorus perfectly describes a typical tailgate at Arrowhead, uum, well, it’s this one too.  “Man, if I have one?  I’ll have thirteen!  And there ain’t no in between!  ‘Cause the more I drink?  Mmm!  The more I drink!”

53. “Soldier of Love” by Donny Osmond.  Come on, admit it, you LOVE this song.  It is so f*cking cheezy, so over the top campy, so absolutely ridiculous, that you LOVE this song.  I mean, it’s Donny Osmond for Christ’s sake!  A Mormon kid, squeaky clean, singing about being a “soldier of love”!  Go ahead, sing along: “Like a thief in the night who can’t get enough?  I am willing to fight!  Cause I’m a soldier of love!  Like a shot in the dark, when the going gets rough?  It’s a state of the heart, and I’m a soldier of love!”  And yes, I usually sing along to every damned word of this song when it pulls up on Mixology.

52 and 51.  Ooh, it’s a two-fer!  From one of my favorite artists to boot!  “I Don’t Want to Be” and “In Love With a Girl”, both by Gavin DeGraw.  One of these is the personal anthem of my life.  The other is my life’s dream.  You can probably figure out which is which fairly easily.  (dusty voice) wait, you actually want to be something?  Say it isn’t so Stevo!!!

50. “Somebody That I Used to Know” by Gotye.  Hands down my favorite song from 2011.  And Phil killed it on “Idol” last spring.  With the rope, in the lounge, and Colonel Mustard was last seen fleeing from the seen with rope burn on his hands.  (Come on, I was LONG overdue for a crappy “Clue” namedrop!)

Plus, the chorus is just awesome, a total “oh yeah, well f*ck you!” response to a breakup.  “You didn’t have to cut me off!  Make out like it never happened, and that we were nothing.  And I don’t even need your love!  But you treat me like a stranger, and I feel so rough … now you’re just somebody that I used to know!  Now you’re just somebody that I used to know!”  At least one of the “Boasheao”’s coming for the donkeys game will appreciate this song’s inclusion, I hope.  This seems up his wheelhouse.

49. “Shout” by the Isley Brothers.  I really wish I could find the Otis Day version to download, but it’s not available on iTunes.  And yes, every time this comes on, it is MANDATORY to re-enact the epic scene from “Animal House”.  “A little bit softer now … a little bit softer now … a little bit softer now … a little bit louder now … a little bit louder now … a little bit louder now … HEY EY EY EY!  (HEY EY EY EY!)”  And hell no, it wasn’t over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor!

48. “Tipsy” (unedited) by J-Kwon.  “Teen drinking is very bad!  (pause).  Yo, I got a fake ID tho!!”  Violates multiple Mixology rules (gratuitous use of the words “whore”, “f*ck”, “b*tch”, and the n-bomb) … but who cares.  This is great.  “She’s smokin’ my blunt, sayin’ she ain’t havin’ fun.  B*tch give it back, now you ain’t getting’ none!  Now e’rybody in this b*tch gettin’ tipsy!”  Plus, you can like learn how to count by singing along.  “Two to the three to the fo to the five!”

47. “Somewhere Only We Know” by Keane.  Included solely and completely because the Mixologist loves this song.  Plus, since we do tailgate in Lot G, the “casual encounters” headquarters of Kansas City on GameDay, it works as a pickup song!  “So tell me when / You’re gonna let me in / I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin / And if you have a minute, why don’t we go? / Talk about it “somewhere only we know” …”  A good Mixologist ALWAYS looks out for his fellow tailgaters. 

(And yes, that last sentence was brought to you by the guy who, upon realizing “The Crush” of his life was on her way to tailgate with us at the raiders game last year, immediate drew a picture of a crappy looking mistletoe on a cocktail napkin, duct taped said mistletoe to the top of my Santa hat, and did what I do best: make an ass out of myself.  (but you did get a kiss right?)  Hell yes I did!)

46. “Fresh” by Kool and the Gang.  The early 80s are so underrated, no band more criminitely so than Kool and the Gang.  “She’s fresh!  (Fresh!)  Exciting!  She’s so exciting to me!  She’s fresh!  (Fresh!)  She’s so inviting to me yeah …”  My God, I really need to get laid, and soon.

45. “Come On Get Higher” by Matt Nathanson.  I don’t care how long I live, having to explain to “The Voice of Reason” what a dugout is, will never fail to make me laugh.  Uum, not that some of us “get higher” while tailgating.  Let’s just move on before the government that did not help even 2/1000ths of a moment in creating this site, spends 998/1000th of a moment busting me for discussing use of an illegal substance.

44. “Beer 30” by “The Rivermaster”.  If you know the person who actually recorded this, you will laugh your ass off when you put two and two together.  And this is an EPICALLY awesome effort.  “It’s beer 30!  And I’m beer thirsty!  For laughter and jokin’!  And maybe some smokin’!  And nobody can hurt me when it’s beer 30!”

43. “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus.  Solely and completely for the “dance moves” during the chorus that I stole from some drunken dude at my buddy Anthony’s reception.  Katie and I couldn’t stop laughing at how this guy was dancing to it, so absolutely I stole his routine.  (Trust me – it’s funny.  No, really, it is.  Even Dusty laughs at it.)

42. “Stand by Me”, the Otis Redding version.  Ben E. King’s version is too un-tailgaty, it’s too serious.  This version?  You can absolutely picture nodding your head to while enjoying some burnt ends and a Pale Ale at BB’s on a Friday night.  Hence it’s inclusion.  (Plus, I love the song.)

41. “Save Me, San Francisco!” by Train.  Oh!  Hell!  Yes!  God, I love this song.  Wait, I didn’t make that obvious enough.  GOD I LOVE THIS SONG! 

"Don’t know what I was on,
But I think it grows in Oregon,
So I kept on going,
Going gone right through.

I drove into Seattle rain,
Fell in love, then missed the train
That could have took me
Right back home to you …

(come on, you know you want to sing along, so let it go!)

I’ve been high!  I’ve been low!
I’ve been yes and I’ve been OH HELL NO!
I’ve been rock and roll and disco –
Won’t you save me, San Francisco!

I’ve been up!  I’ve been down!
I’ve been so damned lost since you’re not around!
I’ve been reggae and calypso!
Won’t you save me, San Francisco!"

Moving on before I rewind this on iTunes 55 times …

40. “Flake” by Jack Johnson.  Wait, we’re 42 songs in, and nothing by Jack Johnson, DMB, Kenny Chesney, Hall and Oates, or Ben Harper has appeared yet?  That is an OUTRAGE!  Let’s remedy that bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, starting with Jack’s best tailgating song.  (His best song, period, is “Do You Remember”, which might make the back 27.  Uum, stay tuned early next week?)

39. “The Best of What’s Around” by Dave Matthews Band.  “See you and me?  Have a better time than most can dream of, better than the best, and so we can pull on through.  Whatever tears at us, whatever holds us down, and if nothing can be done?  We’ll make the best of what’s around.”  Damned skippy we will.

38. “Out of Touch, Out of Time” by Hall and Oates.  Their best song period.  And yes, I’m going to their concert at Starlight the night before the regular season home opener.  (quagmire voice) Giggity.

37. “Burn One Down” by Ben Harper.  Truer words never sung: “Herb is a gift from the earth / And what’s from the earth is of the greatest worth / So before you knock it, try it first / You will see it is a blessing and not a curse / So if you don’t like my fire?  Don’t come around / ‘Cause I’m gonna burn one down – yes, I’m gonna burn one down.”  Uum, not that I ever have at a concert of his.

36. “Living in Fast Forward” by Kenny Chesney.  Don’t worry, it might be the first by him to populate Mixology 2012, but it sure as all hell won’t be the last.  Hell, we’re throwing a great cover he did in at 47*:

35. “Luckenback, Texas”, the Kenny Chesney / Kid Rock version.  Even Russ, who doesn’t listen to anything that doesn’t air on Willie’s Roadhouse, even HE likes this cover.  Enough said. 

(*: just seeing if you can count backwards.  27 to start, then 54 minus 36, carry the one ... yes, this is also a "sobriety checkpoint" for me (rimshot!))

34. “Penny Lover” by Lionel Richie.  Hey, if I don’t put this one in the rotation, I’m not slipping “F*ck Her Gently”, “Shots!” or “Tipsy” past the censors.  And anytime you can get a 3-for-1 swap, you gotta do it.

33. “The Rising” by Bruce Springsteen.  If I’m being honest with myself … this is my favorite Springsteen song.  It’s this, or “Cover Me”.  Given this is a “f*ck you bin ladin!” response to 9/11, I gotta lean to this one.  And speaking of “screw you bin ladin” 9/11 response songs, gotta pick the ultimate one:

32. “Beautiful Day” by U2.  Hell yes it is.

31. “Toes” by Zac Brown Band.  “I’ve got my toes in the water, my ass in the sand!  Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand!  Life is good today!  Life is good today!”  Hell yes it is.

30. “BOOM!” by POD.  Hell, this song was on Mixology back when it was a grouping of burned CDs to open the 2000s.  Tradition matters.

29. “Faded" by Soul Decision.  Of COURSE the crappiest song I'll admit to loving, makes Mixology 2012 with plenty of room to spare!  How can you NOT love this song?  "Can we get it on?  I'm kinda faded but I feel alright / I'm thinkin' about makin' my move tonight! / I can't pretend that you're only my friend / When you're holdin' my body tight / 'Cause I like the way you're making him move / And I like the way you're makin' me wait / And at the end of the night, when I make up your mind? / You'll be comin' on home with me!"

And to close out Mixology 2012's second grouping ...

28. “Home” by Phillip Phillips.  It’s my favorite song from 2012 so far.  And yes, I rooted for Phil once my rubber chicken got knocked out in seventh.  Bias – as part of Mixology as it is MSNBC and Fox News!

(And yes ... Phil was as baked every week on "Idol", as he looks in the photo accompanying the Youtube! link.  Attakid!)

We're only 54 in.  There's at least 81 more to go (hey, 3 convenient groups of 27!  How clever Stevo!)  And there's still some tailgating staples to appear, not the least of which is the song that literally sends chills down my spine when it starts blaring on the walk in for a prime time game.

Until the next 27 hits, keep the suggestions coming ... 

week twelve picks

The Statisticals. Last Week SU: 8-6-0. Season to Date SU: 98-62-1. Last Week ATS: 7-7-0. Season to Date ATS: 75-80-6. Last Week Upset / ...