Tuesday, December 28, 2010

tuesday thoughts

There were a few other things I wanted to mention in the celebratory Sunday post, but forgot to. So ...

* I gotta ask: where the hell’s the “pizza” we were promised for the postgame on Sunday? I’m still waiting dammit!

(Inside joke that’s pretty damned funny if you were there).

* A ton, and I mean a ton, of credit for this amazing season has to go to the most overlooked guy in the previous regime. Bill Kuharick, take a bow sir. Because this season has no shot of happening without your presence.

Kuharick arrived in 2000 after being relieved of his duties as the Saints general manager. He was given control of the scouting department after the 2004 season. The results speak for themselves.

Key Picks Still with Chiefs:

2005:
Round 1: Derrick Johnson, LB, Texas.
Round 3: Dustin Colquitt, P, Tennessee.

2006:
Round 1: Tamba Hali, DE / LB, Penn State.
Round 3: Brodie Croyle, QB, Alabama.

2007:
Round 1: Dwayne Bowe, WR, LSU.

2008:
Round 1: Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU.
Round 1: Brandon Albert, OT, Virginia.
Round 2: Brandon Flowers, DB, Virginia Tech.
Round 3: Jamaal Charles, RB, Texas.
Round 5: Brandon Carr, DB, Grand Valley State.
Round 6: Barry Richardson, OT, Clemson.

That's 8 starters, the punter, a backup QB, and a valuable backup OL picked in four years. Also, I did not include other picks and trades that worked for awhile, or filled a specific need at the time, but who are no longer with the team. A couple examples of these would be trading a 2nd rounder for Patrick Surtain, and drafting Boomer Grigsby in the 5th round. Both were valuable contributors on the 2005 10 win team, and the 2006 wildcard team, but have moved on due to age or injury.

Scott Pioli deserves the credit he's getting for helping get this team from 2-14 to a division championship in two short seasons. But he doesn't get there without Bill Kuharick's contributions, particularly his final draft in 2008.

* There were so many moments that led to where we are today in this season. But there's 10 plays in particular I think fueled the drive to a division championship.

In chronological order:

1. Jamaal Charles' 60 yard touchdown run to tie the Chargers game, week one. Yes, it was the win that made all of this possible, and even I still smile remember 70,000 folks screaming in the elements ... but the Chargers dominated this game up until Charles' run. They were already up 7-0. They were throwing the ball all over the field. Worse yet, the Chiefs could do nothing with the football.

This run changed everything.

2. The goalline stand to win the Chargers game, week one. A young, unproven defense, knocked on its heels, facing Philip Rivers for four straight downs inside the five yard line. And they held, capping off this incredible stand by rattling Rivers on 4th down, forcing a horrible pass that fell incomplete to get the Chiefs above .500 for the first time since Week 9 2007.

3. Brandon Flowers' TaINT in Cleveland, week two. For the second week in a row, the Chiefs started poorly, and were trailing 6-0 in the 2nd quarter. Then Seneca Wallace threw a poor pass, Brandon Flowers stepped in front of it, and ran untouched for the touchdown. Flowers' interception was the Chiefs only touchdown, but it was enough, as Ryan Succup hit all three of his field goal attempts, and Thomas Jones picked up a huge 4th down conversion with 1:30 to play, to get the Chiefs to 2-0.

4. Matt Cassel's reverse touchdown pass to Dwayne Bowe opens the floodgates vs San Francisco, week three. Another game in which the Chiefs got off to a horrendous start. (In hindsight, be honest -- the onside kick to open the Colts game makes more sense, doesn't it? The Chiefs offense was horrendous in the first quarter against our first three opponents. Why not try to jump-start things?)

Leading 10-3, the Chiefs tried some trickery. The direct snap to Thomas Jones, who pitched the ball to Dexter McCluster, who handed the ball off to Matt Cassel ... who threw a perfect 45 yard strike to Dwayne Bowe, who hauled it in despite double coverage by the 49ers. Ballgame.

5. Derrick Johnson's interception and return for a touchdown vs Jaguars, week seven. The Chiefs came home after two crushing road defeats to Indianapolis and Houston. And the Jaguars, playing Todd Bouman at quarterback, were surprisingly competitive. With the Chiefs leading 21-20 midway through the third quarter, Bouman dropped back to pass ... and DJ swept in, picked the pass, and ran untouched to the end zone. A huge momentum-changer that helped the Chiefs get to 3-0 at home, and 4-2 overall.

6. Ryan Succup's "what the hell is he thinking?!?!" kick sails through the uprights to defeat the Bills in overtime, week eight. Admit it, when Succup first kicked the ball, you thought he'd shanked it right. A complete pull job. Only ... Succup had learned from his earlier miss in overtime. He played the wind perfectly. And delivered a hard-fought victory that really was the nail in the coffin to win me over this year. After this one, it was all in for me. I thought we'd lose this game, because let's be honest -- every year in seasons past, no matter how good this team was, they ALWAYS lost one to a league doormat that wound up hurting or severely screwing us come playoff time. This year? They won that game.

7. Dwayne Bowe revives the corpse that was the Chiefs offense, vs Cardinals week eleven. Again, hindsight people. Think back to this moment six weeks ago. The Chiefs are coming off back-to-back divisional defeats, by blowing a game in overtime at oakland, and getting their asses kicked in denver. Now, the lowly Arizona "Super" Cardinals have rolled into Arrowhead, on a five game losing streak, and immediately grab a 3-0 lead. The Chiefs go three and out their first three possessions. However, a poor punt coupled with a solid return sets the Chiefs up on the Cardinals 38 for the final play of the first quarter.

Cassel drops back to pass, and hits a beautiful bomb to Dwayne Bowe, who ultimately is forced out at the one yard line. Bowe would score three plays later. But the play that got the Chiefs to the goalline, is as big of a play as Dwayne Bowe would deliver all season. It stopped the negative momentum of the last month, and helped open the floodgates for a much-needed blowout victory over the Cardinals.

8. Matt Cassel draws up a first down play in the dirt, at Seahawks week twelve. The Chiefs lead 21-17 late in the third quarter. Despite dominating the Seahawks in every statistical category save for return yardage, the Chiefs are only up four in a vital road contest. The Chiefs take over at their own 30, and after a couple solid runs and gaining a first down, now face a 3rd and 6 at their own 45. Cassel improvises when the play call is unclear. He scrambles around, avoids the rush, steps up in the pocket ... and hits Dwayne Bowe, who reaches behind his body to haul in the pass, gain 8 yards, and keep the drive alive. The Chiefs would go on to score to go up 11, and then open the floodgates a few minutes later to push the lead to an insurmountable 18, en route to a 42-24 win.

But what if Cassel doesn't think on his feet, so to speak? What if he panics because there's no discernable play called? What if Bowe doesn't break off his route to give Cassel a receiving option? What if Bowe drops the pass? The way the game was unraveling (Seahawks had scored on their last two possessions to cut the lead from 14 to 4), do you really want to punt the ball back to Seattle at that point? I didn't. A huge underrated play from a very underrated victory in this anything-but-underrated season.

9. Jamaal Charles explodes for 80, at Rams week fifteen. Another game that the Chiefs dominated statistically ... and yet, midway through the 4th quarter, it's a touchdown game, and the Chiefs are starting at their own 20. Again, in years past, this is when we brace for the hammer to fall, for a three and out or a crushing turnover that leads to the tying score.

This year? Charles takes a handoff and runs untouched to the Rams one yard line. Ballgame. The win kept the Chiefs one ahead of San Diego, and kept all the pressure on the Chargers, pressure they eventually couldn't handle.

10. The best opening drive of the season, vs Titans week sixteen. Do you realize the Chiefs have scored on their first possession only three times this season? At Houston, at Seattle ... and this past week against Tennessee. It was as near perfect of a drive as you can have. 7 plays, none for negative yardage, all but one for more than 6 yards, capped with a 14 yard screen to Charles for the touchdown to establish momentum in (arguably) the biggest game Arrowhead had hosted since the 2003 playoff game against the Colts. It set the tone -- the Chiefs scored on their first four possessions, and the Titans never recovered from the early beatdown.

Those are my 10 biggest plays of the season. I'm sure some will disagree, and that's cool. Really, it is. Because for once, we have more than 10 big plays to choose from!

(And at least two more games to add to the list of great moments. Freaking awesome).

* A few other Chiefs thoughts before going off-tangent for a while:

1. I hate to accuse a NFL team of quitting ... but the Titans looked like they quit on Sunday. Granted, the Chiefs came out of the gates firing, and were up 24-0 in the first 20 minutes. But Tennessee never mounted a serious threat at any point in that game.

2. I still have no idea what in the hell Coach Haley was thinking in yanking Matt Cassel for two plays. I also was not surprised in the least that Brodie Croyle's two snaps resulted in a pass for no gain, and an interception. Coach, buddy, you've almost completely won me over -- but do NOT do stupid sh*t like inserting Brodie Croyle into an undecided ballgame, ok?

3. The Star's article focusing on folks who bought playoff tickets yesterday ... ugh. I'll refrain from stating all of my thoughts, for fear of getting lynched by my fellow fans, but here's a brief glimpse into them. Anyone who calls themself a "great Chiefs fan", and notes in the same f*cking sentence that the only reason you're going to a game this year is because it's a playoff game? You are NOT a "great Chiefs fan". You are a fan, but you are not a "great" fan. And there is a difference -- that adjective does make a difference.

* On to other topics! Beginning with the Greinke trade. Of which I had no problems with.

Look it, the guy clearly didn't want to be here anymore. If a player wants out, what good does it do to force them to stick around? You're only going to hack off the player even more than they already are, and create an issue in the locker room. So a trade was the best solution for all involved parties here.

And judging from the reviews of the talent we got back, we did pretty good in this trade. So we've got that going for us.

(And as a side note: I know some Royals fans were concerned because one of these guys has tested positive for weed twice in the minors. Here's the thing -- weed is not covered under the CBA in major league baseball. It is not a prohibited drug. So once the kid hits the majors, he's free to toke away, so to me, that's a non-issue. To say nothing of the fact that weed is not a dangerous drug, is far less damaging to a person's health and to society at large than alcohol is, and should be legalized ASAFP to get the tax revenue desperately needed by our local and state municipalities).

* I used to be a huge baseball fan. I used to live for Opening Day. But as I've noted before, 2004 was just too much. 2004 killed me as a baseball fan. I still try to go to 10 or so games a year, but I'm there for the tailgating, for the sun, for the washers, for the drinking – basically everything other than the game itself. That 2004 season was so soul-crushing, it just destroyed baseball for me. So I am in no way an expert when it comes to the Royals and the talent on the way. I'm not even knowledgable enough to name ten prospects we have.

So I have to take the experts at their word, and believe that 2012 is going to be a breakthrough season, and 2013 is the beginning of something special. And at that point, I'll become a bandwagon fan, and get back on board. Until the Royals prove it on the field though, I honestly don't care.

Which is the difference between me, and the type of Chiefs fans I despise. I admit I'm a knowledge-less tool when it comes to baseball. Again, I'm there for the beer, the sun, and losing for the 1,983,546th time in a row at washers to DJ (approximate; actual figure likely higher). If a good ballgame breaks out, wonderful.

But I have no clue as to what the Royals are building to, or how these prospects fit into that building job. Hence the lack of an opinion on the Greinke trade until now.

* Larry Brown, out as Bobcats head coach. I'll call it now -- Larry Brown will be coaching the Lakers next fall. It's the perfect fit for him -- a veteran team in need of a coach (Phil Jackson has announced this is his last season), that still has a solid 2-3 year window of opportunity to win it all before a rebuild-on-the-fly has to be attempted (which is when LB would step aside). This is a match made in NBA heaven. Assuming there is a 2011-2012 season, of course.

* I see LeBron James thinks the league might be better off with contraction. I don’t share his conviction, but …

There’s really only two “unstable” markets in the NBA right now – New Orleans and Sacramento. (I’m aware Memphis and Charlotte are also at best “shaky situations”, but both those teams have new arenas, somewhat stable ownership, and a core fan base that shows up every night. They’re far better off than the Hornets and Kings).

The Kings problem is simple: they need a new arena, and there’s no public money to build one. The Hornets is a bigger issue: they need an owner, they need an arena, and there just isn’t the fan base anymore in the Crescent City to justify keeping the team there.

If you’re going to contract, these two franchises make the most sense to fold. Only … there’s viable alternatives for each. The Kings easily can move to Vegas. Their owners already live there. You’d have to take Kings games off the sports books I would assume, but that’s a small price to pay for landing a professional team, and the professional athletes who’d hit up your tables and night clubs when out there to face the Kings.

The Hornets? There’s at least three viable moving options for them, if not four or five. Anaheim makes sense. Ditto right here in Kansas City. And of course, Seattle has shown they can more than support a NBA team when it’s not owned by a sleazebag.

So no LeBron, the NBA doesn’t need to contract. It needs to do exactly what ownership is about to do this summer: get its financial house in order, by firming up the salary cap, reducing max contract limits, instituting revenue sharing, and continuing to market the incredible amount of young talent the league is enjoying right now. I mean really, when your two most unstable franchises feature a pretty solid nucleus of young guys who will probably reach the postseason (Memphis), and one of the two or three best guards in the league, with a roster talented enough to at least challenge for the eight seed (New Orleans), you really aren’t in that bad of shape. This isn’t Major League Baseball, where only 3 teams have any short of chance at winning the World Series this upcoming season (Yankees, Red Sox, Phillies).

Some other random thoughts floating around in this merlot-clogged brain of mine:

* Congratulations to the Senate, for voting 65-31 to end institutionalized discrimination in our armed forces, and ditching the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. Whatever your personal feelings about homosexuality, the bottom line is that the only racism embedded into our nation’s founding and governing documents concerns people of color, who were counted as 3/5 of a person for Congressional apportionment, and then later found to be pieces of property to be used however their masters saw fit (Dred Scott decision). I’d like to think that in the 225 some odd years since the Declaration of Independence was authored, that we do hold these truths to be self evident, that ALL are created equal, that ALL are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights. Glad to see at least a few Republicans joined with my side in ensuring any American citizen of legal age who meets the physical requirements can defend this nation’s freedom.

* Not sure how I feel about some of the “Idol” changes coming this year. I don’t mind the judges being shaken up, to be honest. Once Pauler left last year, you quickly realized that she was just as important to that panel as Simon was, so without one, you might as well try it without them both. I also like that there’s some “modernized” changes to the Hollywood and Top 24 rounds (making a music video, for instance). Moving it to Wednesday and Thursday though, ouch. I bowl on Wednesdays. And I usually watch the NBA on Thursdays. Oh well. I’ll start tuning in once they get to Hollywood. I refuse to watch the train-wreck auditions. They’re not funny, they’re not entertaining – they’re pathetic losers seeking 15 minutes they sure as all hell are not entitled to.

* Entertainment Weekly posted their 20 best “Idol” performances earlier today. Can’t really disagree with the group as a whole, but I sure as all hell can b*tch about where “Alone” by Carrie Underwood was placed. There isn’t a shot in hell that was only the 13th best performance. I’d rate it number one, and nobody even comes close to catching her. My top 10:

1. Carrie Underwood, “Alone”, season four. The defining “Idol” moment for me. She vaulted from middle-of-the-packer to front-runner in 90 amazing seconds.

2. Blake Lewis, “You Give Love a Bad Name”, season six. The most original, creative, jaw-droppingly awesome performance in “Idol” history.

3. Jason Castro, “Hallelujah”, season seven. Chillingly good.

4. David Cook, “Hello”, season seven. Performed immediately before Castro did “Hallelujah” that night. Possibly the best ten minutes “Idol” has ever aired.

5. LaKisha Jones, “This Ain’t a Love Song”, season six. I still think Season Six’s Bon Jovi night is “Idol”’s finest hour. I couldn’t stand LaKisha … but she absolutely nailed this performance.

6. Kris Allen, “Heartless”, season eight. Went from “likely to finish third” to “front runner” in a little over two minutes, by stripping Kanye’s smash hit down to just the barest chord. Awesome stuff.

7. Carly Smithson, “Here You Come Again”, season seven. The only decent performance on Dolly Parton night, and man, she nailed it.

8. Chris Daughtry, “Hemorrhage (In My Hands)”, season five. Good God was season five a disaster. The two best contestants went out third (Elliott Yamin) and fourth (Daughtry).

9. Kimberley Locke, “Band of Gold”, season two. She’s since released this as a pretty solid single.

10. Jordin Sparks, “With a Broken Wing”, season six. The song that launched her from “oh yeah, that girl whose dad was a pretty good NFL player” to “uuh, guys, this might be our front runner …”

* It’s been three weeks, and still no definitive explanation has been given for the debacle that was the attempted KU Athletic Director hire. Judging by how everything has gone to hell since she arrived, I lean towards the “Chancellor Gray-Little f*cked it up by revising the proposed contract” theory. That woman isn’t qualified to teach a group of eighth graders basic common sense, let alone run a major public university.

* If you haven’t seen the “ALF Drops the N Bomb” videos floating around out there, you have to. They’re absolutely hysterical. I nearly put ALF into my “10 Worst Shows of All Time” a couple years ago; he got spared because the last Hulu episode I pulled up actually made me laugh a couple times. But I mean seriously, lighten up people. It’s a friggin puppet. If you want to go after the dude who actually voiced the character, that’s one thing. But spare the puppet. He’s an inanimate object for Christ’s sake.

* Hang on, let me check something real quick … yup, the Chiefs are still the 2010 AFC Western Division Champions. I keep finding myself shaking my head in disbelief at least once an hour. Really? This happened? Miracle turnarounds happen for everyone but us. Until now!

* Haven’t seen much college hoops yet. Thought the MU / Georgetown game was one of the best games I’ve seen in a few years. Not really surprised KU is struggling early on – we don’t really have a go-to guy when it’s clutch time. Maybe Selby becomes that guy. As improved as the Morris twins are, they ain’t that guy.

And KSU … ugh. Still plenty of time to right the ship, but something’s missing on that team.

* And Jacob Pullen getting a three game suspension for getting comped for a couple hundred dollars worth of clothes … is an absolute outrage. The NCAA should be disbanded. There isn’t a more corrupt, pathetic, outdated institution in this country than the NCAA.

You know, the organization that pimped itself out 20 years ago in a pathetic cash grab to “find a new home”. The organization that refuses to suspend 5 Ohio State football players for the Sugar Bowl, who knowingly violated NCAA rules regarding profiting off of merchancise. The organization that refuses to suspend Auburn QB Cam Newton for selling himself to the highest bidder. You pimp yourself out for $200,000, that’s all good in the NCAA’s eyes. You accept a couple t-shirts that are comped to you? Three games pal.

The NCAA is a f*cking joke. How anyone can claim otherwise, I have no idea.

* Speaking of freaking jokes, NBC Sunday Night Football everyone! Silly me. I thought the whole point of flex-scheduling was to put the best non-protected game into the prime time slot! How stupid and naïve of me to think that way. Because why flex a game with huge postseason ramifications, like the Colts at raiders, or the Giants at Packers (neither of which were protected) into the national TV slot, when we can put Michael Vick (gag me) and the already-clinched Eagles in there against a “maybe, possibly, there’s a .0000002 percent chance he’ll play, so let’s flex it in!” Brett Favre led Vikings team. This only two weeks after NBC opted to pass on a potential AFC West championship game (KC at San Diego), and opted instead to leave a horrendous Cowboys team in there, hosting (you guessed it) the Vick led Eagles.

I’m glad to see more and more readers are calling out this bullsh*t in Peter King’s emails and tweets every week. If you’re going to have flex scheduling, you HAVE to flex in THE best game possible, that isn’t network protected. Period. Keeping a 4-8 team, and flexing in a 4-10 team, is utterly ridiculous.

* Also, kudos to the NFL for dictating which game NBC will air this Sunday. NBC was not given the choice. (Because God knows they’d have chosen 5-10 Dallas at “playing for nothing” Philadelphia). St Louis / Seattle might be ugly, but it’s the best game on the board, because literally, the winner is in the playoffs, the loser is sitting at home. That’s what SHOULD be aired in Week 17 in prime time, a playoff game for all intents and purposes. Congrats to the NFL for telling NBC to f*ck itself, you’re airing this game like it or not.

* I see Pat Robertson has once again inserted himself into a national argument that doesn’t concern him … only this time, I’m shockingly in agreement with the wacky Reverend. Seems Pat thinks our marijuana laws are “outdated” and “don’t accomplish anything other than clogging the court system with needless cases”. While Pat stopped short of what he and every thinking American should advocate (legalization now), this is still huge. Pat Robertson calling for the decriminalization of weed. When even Pat Robertson is on the right side of an issue, and that guy finds himself on the correct side of the issue about as often as I turn down a glass of merlot, I think the issue has been decided.

* Finally, congrats to Brian Waters, Dwayne Bowe, and Jamaal Charles for making the 2010 Pro Bowl team. Hitting on my first point way back 10 some odd pages ago – NONE of those three were drafted by the current regime. Yes, Pioli deserves a boatload of credit for this season. But it’s not like he walked into a talentless situation.

I’d expect to see a few Chiefs possibly named as replacements (Derrick Johnson, Tamba Hali, and Brandon Flowers) as the playoffs roll along, and the inevitable drop-outs from the game begin. Still, to go from no Pro Bowlers for three years now, to multiple candidates, is pretty sweet. That’s how this whole season has been, pretty sweet. And it’s about to get a whole lot sweeter …

Sunday, December 26, 2010

chiefs! titans! (steve breaking down in tears ...)

“I’ve been alone with you inside my mind,
And in my dreams I’ve kissed your lips a thousand times,
I sometimes see you pass outside my door,
Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?

I can see it in your eyes!
I can see it in your smile!
You’re all I’ve ever wanted,
And my arms are open wide.

Cause you know just what to say,
And you know just what to do,
And I want to tell you so much,
I love you …”

-- “Hello”, best performed by KC native and fellow Chiefs fan David Cook on “American Idol”. The smirk at the 1:23 mark of the Youtube! clip above. The knowing, "holy sh*t, I nailed this!" sh*t eating grin that David Cook exhibited that night. Today, leaving Arrowhead, but especially leaving the postgame party, watching the Chargers self-destruct as only a Norv Turner team can. That grin was all over my face. And good luck finding anything that can erase it ...

--------------------------

And it's still there three hours later.

How fitting that on a day when not one, but two unstoppable, unreal streaks come to an end at Arrowhead Stadium … that two simple words sum up the happiest day of my 2010 (save for, you know, that day when my nieces were born. That was happier).

Two simple words, that I texted to a boatload of friends at about 6pm Sunday night.

Two simple words, that even now, I am grinning a goofy ass grin in anticipation of typing, as I reach for the celebratory huge glass of merlot:

(joe starkey voice) Hello Playoffs!!!

Sweet Jesus, we’re in! There’s no need for backdoor shenanigans, no need to figure out five team teasers in week seventeen, no need to stress and worry – and drink needlessly from said stress and worry.

Hello Playoffs!!!

Holy God. It’s been over two hours since the Chiefs clinched the AFC West Division championship, clinched the New Arrowhead’s first playoff game, and I still cannot even begin to type up my thoughts coherently. Hang on, let me get another glass of merlot. I know it won’t help … but damn if it don’t go down good!

I should have known from pretty much moment one today that this was going to be an epic, celebratory day that took at least some things full circle. (More on that to come). But as I got to my seat today, and walked down the aisle, I just felt like this was going to be an epic day. I can’t explain it. I just sensed it. Walking down row 26, arriving at my seat (14), and patting seat 13 in front of me to welcome my always-loved, sadly-departed friend, I just sensed that today, for the first time since Randy was sitting in that seat, something great was going to happen.

Not something fun. Not something good.

Something great.

As always, your recap, as best I can remember it …

* Arrived at the gates at 7am. We were second in line, behind Carl’s buddy Larry. Phil and his crew were next to us. It was cold, it was snowing … and by 7:30, the line was backed up to Stadium Drive. Arrowhead Nation was ready.

When I mentioned in the picks this week that a large part of me wanted this game blacked out, because I wanted this win for “us”, the “die-hardiest of the die-hards”, this is who I meant. The folks who win or lose, rain or shine, keep showing up, keep tailgating, keep the faith. Today more than anything, was about “us”. It was a payment for everything “we’ve” invested in this team. “We” never gave up. “We” never quit on these guys.

* About 8am, Carl and his crew discovered the gates weren’t locked. So of course they swung those bad boys wide open. Only …

* The first incredible streak to die today, was Carl beating the parking attendants. For some reason, he never pulled through. He entered at the same time as everyone else, and (presumably) paid this week. Here’s to starting a new streak next week buddy.

* We had everything set up by 8:30ish (the gates did open early, thanks to Carl I guess). Not much on the menu today. This was all about … well, attempting to not freeze your ass off. Hence the ridiculous amount of adult beverages available for consumption.

* About 9:30, Gregg and his brother-in-law arrived. They were supposed to hoof it over to A2 to meet Ross and his crew. Go figure, they never made it.

I have to be honest – there’s nobody I’d rather share this day with, than Gregg. He’s the biggest Chiefs fan I know. (He puts me to shame, which is a scary, scary thought). He’s the one guy who’s never given up on me, no matter how many times I p*ss him off. Let’s just say, looking back at the 2 minute warning, as the scoreboard showed the opening touchdown for the Bengals, and the Chiefs and Titans were running out the clock … it got a little dusty in 132. And the only two of us left at that point were me and Ray.

* Unintentional comedy moment of the day: me and Cory explaining what a dugout is to an obtuse tailgater. Dammit D, we missed you today …

* Also about 9:30, a text message from “The Crush” arrived: “you freezing out here today”. Normally at 9:30 on a gameday (and insert the sport here, they all apply I guess), I’m already so far gone that the implication of those five words would have whizzed right over my head. Today was so freaking cold though, that the multiple shots of Kamikaze, Alabama Slammer, Apple Pie, Lemon Drop something, and the Bloody Mary’s and spiked hot chocolate I was plowing through didn’t really kick in. I immediately texted back “yup where yall at”. After seeing she was a couple rows in front of us, I of course invited her to join in the fun.

Which she did! See, who says I can’t be a charming, incredible, sexy-as-hell catch? Other than everyone reading this, of course.

(Damn I have a crush on that girl. More to come).

* Had to head down about 10:30ish to do a full round of apple pie shots with Phil and his crew. So, as I’m standing there shooting the sh*t with them, turns out his mom and dad live in the next subdivision across from Katie. But not just that – oh no, it gets better! They’re my buddy Tim and his wife Jamie’s backyard neighbors! Sweet Jesus it’s a small world out there!

* Reason 1,096,387 to love tailgating: we’re setting up reciprocal pool days with Phil and his crew next summer.

* Got an awesome multiple tailgate group pic with our crew, Phil and his guys, The KC Kicks Gr-Ass guys, and the newbies from Wichita who parked next to us. And I know his name! (It’s Steve). Not even I can screw that one up. (Damned if I can remember his wife’s name though. But I do remember they have 6 kids, all under the age of 9. Drew, buddy – you and Ash got some more “work” to do to catch up! You’re only halfway there!)

* We broke the tailgate down early today. Once the sun popped out, it was actually fairly decent out there. So rather than freeze on the hill … it was time to go “bake” in our seats.

* No Castro today. Tragic. Although at least his crew gave us one funny moment: they pulled in backwards at the gate opening … then realized after 90 minutes they were pointed in the opposite direction, and tried to turn the bus around, resulting in screwing over their whole tailgate setup.

On the other hand, they had a sweet “All I Want for Christmas Is a Super Bowl Berth” stocking stuffer that I took a pic of (and will post once I upload it). It was awesome. I know I texted it to a few folks. Two down, four to go guys. Four to go to bring Lamar’s Trophy home …

* I stopped to offer my condolences to Carl on the walk in. He just laughed and noted “every great thing ends sometime”. I’ve been coming to that stadium every Sunday since I moved back from college 12 years ago, and I’ve never seen that guy have to wait for everyone else. So at least 120 games, he beat the parking attendants. That’s a streak at least equal to the other unbeatable streak: my flask vs. gate security.

* Which also tragically came to an end today. No, I didn’t get caught. I … left it in the cooler. It was filled. It was cold. It had delicious Hot Damn! in it. And like a dumbass, it sat until the game was over. So, I put the question out there: is the streak over? Or do you treat this like a rainout in baseball, and no stats count until the next game?

* After a quick stop at the bathroom, I headed down to my seat. And like I said in the opening, I can’t explain it, I just felt today was our day. Everyone who arrived after me (I was second there, after Mona), I just welcomed with “today we win the f*cking division!” I’d like to think that friendly “still love ya pal” tap on seat 13 was the cause of it. But I just knew it. We were winning this thing today.

* Great pregame moment with Chris. She’s the strongest person I know. I have so much respect for not just her, but how she’s handled the blow life has handed her. So glad to see she’s got the best support system imaginable, as Greg’s brother Frank was with her today in Greg’s seat. He will wake up. He will recover. As Ray put it at halftime, “just tell him we made the playoffs. That would wake anyone out of their sleep!”

* KC Wolf sketch: uuh … if you were to rate the Wolf’s sketches from 1 to 10, with 1 being “worse than a preschool play” (which I sat through for my special little guy this week – and he nailed his lines, thank you very much!), and 10 being “seeing Tim’s sister on Broadway” … today’s sketch was a negative 500. It was Wolf, on a sleigh, with a couple kids they recruited from the early arrivals, being pulled by “Rudolph” Warpaint. I booed it. It was awful on a truly awful scale.

* The Anthem, on the other hand. Well, after the abortion that was the Eli Young Band, there’s nowhere to go but up. It was Zeke Montana from Q104. (I had to ask who he was – I don’t listen to local radio). He was done in under 40 seconds. Wonderful.

* Chiefs win the toss, choose to receive. My brother was stuck at family Christmas number three, so I promised him updated until he got home.

(Note: I got at least seven different “you’re going to the Chiefs game” directed questions from my mom the last two days. At least. I knew what she was trying to do. (Get me to show up for the family get-together). For once, I held my ground. Every response was “yup, I’m going”. Then she’d always follow up with the “well, it’s gonna be cold out there” response. After about six of these yesterday, my dad (reason 1,989,385,287 why I love that guy to death) steps in, and the conversation basically went like this:

(steve) yes, I’m fine. I’ve sat through colder games than this.
(steve’s dad) hey, why don’t you stop by on your way home, I’ve got some boots that should fit you.
(steve) that’d be great!
(steve’s mom) (fuming mad)
(steve’s mom) (glares at steve’s dad)
(steve’s dad) while you’re at it, can you get me a blanket? I think I’m on the couch tonight.
(steve) (laughing)
(steve) sure.
(steve’s dad) oh, and jets updates. Please send them.

So the note concludes: how do I handle a Jets / Chiefs wildcard game? Oy. My head hurts. Let’s move on).

* The Chiefs scored a touchdown on the opening drive for the first time all season yesterday. And it was a beauty. Just cram it down the Titans throat with Charles. 7-0.

* After the Titans drive but fail to convert a fourth down, the Chiefs punch it in again with Jamaal Charles on a flare pass. 14-0 Chiefs. My brother’s response: “your not missing a dam thing”.

* On the other hand, Drew’s “encouragement” to us this morning was to “be lud and be drunk”. Uuh, lud? That’s grouse. That’s Zues in nature. (dusty voice) stop it Stevo! You’ve run this one into the ground!

* Chiefs tack on a field goal to go up 17-0.

* After exchanging punts, one of the sweetest conversions on 3rd and long you will ever see. 3rd and 19 I believe. (Note: I usually do these recaps on Monday morning, when I can get the exact down / distance / time left perfect thanks to the nfl.com play-by-play. Tonight? I’m winging it). I know it was 3rd and (my uncle geno’s voice) fuhgedaboudit. Cassel hits Bowe at our 40, already has the first … and about 4 missed tackles later, dives into the east end zone, it’s 24-0 (with a b.s. personal foul penalty for celebration tacked on). Should be ballgame, except …

* Forget if it was Tennessee’s second or third play, but Collins drops back, and Kenny Britt is WIDE OPEN. I mean, I had a 50/50 shot to catch this if I was running Britt’s pattern, that’s how open he was. Suddenly it’s 24-7, about 5 to go in the first half. The Chiefs drive, then miss a field goal. (Positive? Note: I texted multiple people in pregame that “succup struggling with the wind”. He definitely misjudged it on this kick, it was at least 3 yards short).

* Titans take over, under 2 to go, can definitely make this a game … and Collins underthrows his receiver, and Eric Barry, after juking, jiving, simply surviving!, takes it to the house! 31-7! Effectively the ballgame. What made me laugh about this, was that at pregame tailgating, I got into it with a Chiefs fan who was trashing Berry. And as I noted, “well, Dale Carter had a great first game, then sucked ass for three months, then poured it on in December his rookie year to get the Chiefs in the playoffs, including his TD-INT to seal the game against denver to get us in”. Full circle! Another rookie DB from Tennessee takes it to the house to seal a playoff berth!

* More full circle: “The Crush” and her party happily made their way down late in the second quarter. I say “full circle”, because the first time I ever met Megan? Was in that exact spot, so to speak. She went with us to a preseason game against Miami (Trent Green’s return) in 2007, and actually sat in the exact seat she wound up in today (I gave her and D my two extras for that one). The next hour and half, was “the ex” and “the crush” competing for my attention for like, 15 seconds … and spending the remaining 89 minutes and 45 seconds becoming friends. Uuh … I think this is good?

* I kid, I kid. It was great. I always love sitting by Katie, because she ignores my being dialed into the game non-stop. And I love sitting by Megan because, hell, it’s Megan. I’ll always love sitting by her.

* Highlight of my second half: dropping multiple times the (sawyer voice) sonofab*tch! blast. Other than me, she’s the biggest “Lost” fan I know. I would think 35 plus (sawyer voice) sonofab*tch! blasts would work in my favor? Ok, probably not. But still, that game got stressful for a while.

* Boring 3rd quarter. Titans got another long TD, we tacked on a field goal, its 34-14 headed to the fourth.

* Best 4th quarter play: Chiefs running out the clock (or trying to), it’s 3rd down, and we toss a wounded duck down the sideline right in front of me to D Bowe … who one-hands it, gains another 5 yards, and stays in bounds for the first. Ballgame.

* Other best 4th quarter play: the clock striking zero. Everyone else around me left about the two minute warning (perfectly acceptable: we’re up huge, the sun has gone down so it’s cold, and you can already hear the pounding on the columns up Gate H). I just stood there, raised two huge fists to the sky, pumped them a few times, then pounded seat 13 in front of me. Headed out the right side (the 131 aisle) because I had to pee. And the only other one of the faithful left was Ray. We just slapped hands, both with goofy “is this really happening!” grins on our faces, and Ray put it best: “Let’s hope next week is a godd*mned scrimmage!” Uuh, other than for seeding? I think we got our wish, champ.

* The walk out was uneventful. High five to Davey and Tracey, and Beth. Quick stop off at Carl’s tailgate for a bite or two of the postgame spread. Finally made it up to the command center, cold as can be … and then, well, you can’t make sh*t like this up.

Our neighbors to the west (newbies) start screaming at some car with a dude driving it in a donkeys coat. The car stops in the middle of the exiting traffic. Dude in donkeys coat gets out, as does some dude in a D Bowe jersey, and an old-school Boomer Grigsby jersey (46). And …

Brawl.

Not just a “brawl”, a “six golf carts carrying Missouri Highway Patrolmen” show up to police it brawl. They’re still throwing down when the cops arrive. The 82 jersey guy actually takes out 3 cops before he’s hauled to the ground. The 46 jersey guy is screaming at our neighbors. The donkeys coat guy is visibly agitated.

We were all set to go before this. But you can’t walk out on a brawl. Not only can you not walk out on a brawl – a guy in a Chevy Suburban was driving along trying to exit, saw the fracus … and plowed into one of the Highway Patrol golf carts, because he was distracted watching about 5 dudes and 3 girls throw down for no obvious reason. Me, Mona, Sheila, and Tyler could not look away. Finally, after about 20 cops show up, a couple accident reports are filed, and (sadly) no field sobriety tests are conducted, the cops (awesomely) let the brawlers walk free, and the Suburban dude drove off. I know I bag on cops a lot, because … well, they’re power-hungry crazies 99.99 percent of the time. But I gotta give credit where it’s due. It was a verbal spat, got a little bit ugly, got a little out of control … but nobody got hurt, nobody was really criminally negligent … and the cops let ‘em all walk. Good job, MSHP. Now if you’d just move your cones at 8:40am, you’d be good guys.

* Postgame ride back was an adventure. The command center was hurting for gas. Somehow, we limped home. I’d be lying if I said I knew how – I thought that thing ran out of gas at least 5 times on Blue Ridge alone.

* The rest of the postgame was watching the Chargers lose to Cincy, and exchanging Christmas gifts. I thought Mona’s gifts were the best – she picked one individual item for each person that fit what they loved (in my case, the merlot I’m plowing through tonight, with a Santa outfit on it, absolutely sweet), but also, a Chiefs picture magnet with an image one of us had captured this year at tailgating. Mine was from the Arizona game – just me, an adult beverage, tossing washers. I’m guessing I found a way to lose to Dusty that day, even though he wasn’t there. But the pics were awesome gifts. Mine’s going up in the cubicle tomorrow, if only so Linda and Kathy can confirm that I’m a little bit of a “free spirit” (their words, not mine. That reminds me, need to ask them what they thought of D. I’m guessing “free spirit” is a little bit conservative?)

* Until next week, or the next time I post, do yourself a favor.

Buy the Monday Kansas City Star.

(Trust me – I lived in Dallas in the glory years. I know what I’m saying here).

Buy the Monday Kansas City Star.

Open up the A section.

And count up all the ads for “Chiefs Divisional Championship Apparel!” You’re guaranteed to have at least half-page ads from Hy-Vee, Price Chopper, Dillards, Macy’s, JC Penney’s, Target, Wal-Mart, Arrowhead West, Pro Image, Champs, Foot Locker, Kansas Sampler.

And then save that ad to show to everyone you know. Because it says what some of us have dreamed of, some of us (hey, that’s me!) predicted back in September, and all of us are craving, those two magical words not even the NFL can deny us from crying out in glee now:

Hello Playoffs!

Can’t wait to see how Peter King still justifies putting the Chargers ahead of the Chiefs in his MMQB column in the morning. If anyone can do it, that “well, they were good last year, so clearly they’re the best this year” asshat can …

Thursday, December 23, 2010

week 16: one down, six to go ...

I would like to believe, that the moment I chose to walk out today, was rock bottom. For my own sanity, I have to believe, that Chris Johnson's 66 yard touchdown run and ensuing celebration, was rock bottom.

To recap: its 27-3 Titans. Chris Johnson takes a simple handoff ... and is gone. Down the Titans sideline. He leap dives into the endzone ... then heads over to the TD Pack Band, and starts playing Patti DiParto-Livergood's bongo drums like a kid turned loose in a recording studio.

While noone affiliated with the Chiefs organization does a damned thing about it.

He played OUR band's drums, in OUR house, in the ultimate act of humiliation ... and nobody on our sideline gave enough of a damn to rush the field and pound his ass into a coma.

Nobody with the Chiefs did anything. Other than stand around and watch.

(steve sighing in disgust). At that point, I decided, if the paid professionals don't give a sh*t, why should I. So off to the bus I went. But I'll say this: for all the crap DT and Wayne Simmons and other defenders took for the "Monday Night Meltdown" 10 years ago come November 16th ... at least they had enough pride to not allow the ultimate humiliation in their house to go unchallenged. Our roster is so devoid of pride, of respect, of anything even approaching a love for what the Red and Gold stands for ... that we let a mother f*cking rookie play the TD Pack Band's bongo drums.

And nobody did a damned thing about it.

(steve sighing in disgust) …

-- me, opening the recap of the last time the Titans visited Arrowhead Stadium.
-----------------------

The Non-Chiefs Predictions:

* at Steelers 24, Panthers (+15) 14.
* Cowboys (-7) 31, at Cardinals 13.
* Lions (+3 ½) 14, at Dolphins 10.
* 49ers (+1) 41, at Rams 13.
* at Bears (pk) 31, Jets 13.
* Patriots 24, at Bills (+8) 20.
* at Jaguars (-7) 63, Redskins 2.
* Ravens 17, at Browns (+3 ½) 16.
* at raiders (+3) 31, Colts 20.
* at broncos (+3) 45, Texans 41.
* at Bucs (-6) 13, Seahawks 3.
* at Packers (-3) 34, Giants 20.
* at Eagles 34, Vikings (+15) 24.
* at Falcons (-2 ½) 21, Saints 17.

The Only Other Game of Importance to Chiefs Fans:

* Chargers (-8) 34, at Bengals 24.

The Chiefs Prediction:

There have been days when I have left Arrowhead angrier than I did that unseasonably warm late October afternoon two years ago, after Chris Johnson basically lifted his leg and took a gigantic whiz on the Red and Gold.

The Ravens game in 2006, that’s certainly the angriest I’ve been in a long time. I was so angry after that game, that multiple people offered me a joint just to calm down afterwards. I also nearly broke my foot by kicking the lightpole so much afterwards. (Note: when random strangers see you cursing out loud and kicking lightpoles, and offer you weed to calm down … you might be a little too into the game. Might be. Jury’s out on that one).

The donkeys loss in 2002, I literally locked myself in my room and drank for two straight days. I was definitely angrier those two days, losing games that (should have) or (definitely did) cost us a playoff berth.

But the most embarrassed I’ve ever been, was after that Titans game. Like it wasn’t bad enough a team rolled in here, dropped nearly 500 yards of offense on us, and we couldn’t tackle their guys trying to run out the clock. (Johnson’s run wasn’t a run-up-the-score deal, it was a “yes, Virginia, the Chiefs defense really couldn’t tackle a quadrapelic” deal).

Afterwards, all the national media showed Johnson’s classless show-up move, and all had a good chuckle at him “having fun”. To me, what Chris Johnson did, was no more “fun” than Terrell Owens spiking the ball on the Star was to Cowboys fans. (And at least Emmitt Smith immediately ran out and beat TO into a bloody pulp when he pulled that classless stunt). What Johnson did was worse than anything that horse’s ass shannon sharpe pulled on the Monday Night Meltdown. Because at least DT fought back.

What we witnessed two years ago, I truly believe, was rock bottom. I have to believe that was the day that Clark Hunt decided, in the words of Rage Against the Machine, “f*ck it, cut the cord” on the Peterson regime. It’s one thing to lose because you have no talent. It’s another thing to lose because you have no heart, because you have no pride, because you just don’t give a sh*t.

If there’s one thing not even I could question about last year’s rough season, it was the heart, the passion, of the architects putting this thing together. I may have dubbed Todd Haley an “Asshat” for some of his decision making, but the pride, the passion, the desire to win, was evident from day one. You could see it in the way Scott Pioli drafted, traded, and signed players. He didn’t want stats guys, guys who look good in a boxscore. He wanted guys who understand what an honor, what an incredible honor, wearing the Red and Gold is. And this year, you’re seeing it pay off.

My favorite moment from last Sunday, unquestionably, was when Matt Cassel took the snap, nursing a touchdown lead in the second half, and ran a bootleg off left tackle, scrambling and diving for a first down … and then standing up, and spiking the ball to the turf, signaled “first down!” As the others watching the game with me can attest, my reaction was simple … and predictable:

(everyone else) (cheering, clapping, high fiving)
(steve) (fighting back tears)
(steve) (huge smile on face)
(steve) (rapid fire fist pumping both hands)
(everyone else) (staring at steve)
(steve) (to noone in particular) nice play matthew. nice play.
(steve) (walks over, takes huge gulp of vodka and grape juice concoction)

In that one play, everything that I want in this team was put on display. (john madden voice) Here’s a guy, in Matt Cassel, who was in such pain, that simply turning his body into the proper throwing motion sent intense pain up his spine. Here’s a guy who literally was risking his career to be out there last week. And what does he do, in a critical “keep the drive alive” moment? He lays it all out there, achieves what he set out to do, and emphatically lets his team and his fans know what he thinks about it. And not in a “hey, look at me, I’m awesome with a capital A” kind of way. But a “f*ck you Rams, we’re kicking your ass today!” kind of way. Yeah, I totally dug it.

And so, come Sunday, the Chiefs can take another step forward to this most improbable of divisional championships. For that, we can all be thankful in this most blessed of seasons. What struck me as odd, however … is that this game was nearly blacked out.

Let me be clear – I’m glad that someone stepped up and made this game available locally. I truly am. I get that there are thousands of Chiefs fans that are struggling. I get that choosing between a Chiefs game or the electric bill, or a gift for the kid, you pay the bill or buy the Thomas the Train interactive book / game (my special little guy is gonna love that thing) every time.

Having said that … I kind of wanted this game to be blacked out. Because honestly, the reason I am so digging this season, the reason I so look forward to kickoff each Sunday … well, is because we don’t suck ass anymore. But in all honesty? I totally dig that there’s only 50,000 or so out there every Sunday. Because the core has been identified. We now know who amongst the season ticket base from the last 15-20 years is truly in it for thick or thin. And part of me, selfishly, wanted to win this game in front of just us, the die-hardiest of the die-hards. I wanted this all to ourselves, to those of us who kept shelling out our $850 every February, who kept paying our $250 to park, who kept paying $10 for a beer, kept bundling up to stand outside for 7 hours in 25 degree temperatures for a 3-11 team, I wanted US to have this win all to ourselves. I totally wanted to win this division in front of US.

But if a couple million more people want to crash the party … hell, its Chrismukkah. Let ‘em.

I hope you can come out on Sunday. It’s not going to be any colder outside than it is right now, and there won’t be any wind to speak of. The tailgating menu is simple: we’re throwing some burgers and dogs on the grill, and having some cheeseburger soup and assorted adult beverages.

And come high noon, we’ll be in our seats, ready to once again root like holy hell for the only thing in this city worth rooting like holy hell for. I hope you will be there to lend your voice, your hands, your support, to root for this lovable, completely … (steve choking up) … godd*mmit, I love this team! I freaking LOVE this team! Just … show up Sunday if you can. You won’t regret it.

But if you can’t … that’s cool too. Just pull a Steve during a road game, and annoy the crap out of your watching party by cheering as loudly as I do inside that stadium. (Or, if you’re lucky, you’ll be at a watching party where, like the ones I’m usually at, you get drowned out by everyone else).

Saturday, is all about Chrismukkah. Hug the ones you love. Forgive the ones you hate. Be grateful for what you have, and hopeful for what you can achieve. Keep those less lucky than we are in your thoughts and prayers at Midnight Mass (especially my seat-mate and long-time Chiefs fan Greg, who has a very long road to recovery still in front of him. I’ll definitely light a candle for him Friday night).

But Sunday? Sunday is about re-establishing the pride, the magic, of Arrowhead from the team that destroyed whatever remained of it two years ago. At Chiefs (-5) 34, Titans 3. Setting up the biggest game Arrowhead has hosted in a long, long, long, long time next Sunday. (Hopefully in prime time …)

Saturday, December 18, 2010

the first big trade of the season

Actually, two of them.

Wow.

The Orlando Magic, considered one of the "Big Three" in the East, and one of the five or six legitimate championship contenders entering this season, have blown up the franchise this afternoon in two separate deals.

Good for them.

In deal one, the Magic send overpaid, overrated forward Rashard Lewis to Washington for Gilbert Arenas. In deal two, the Magic send overpaid, overrated forward Vince Carter and a couple backups to Phoenix for Jason Richardson, Hedo Turkoglu, Earl Clark, and a first rounder.

Orlando just fired the first shot(s) in what figures to be one helluva ten week run to the trading deadline.

With no guarantee of a full 2011-2012 season (and the prospects of meaningful ball being played in fall 2011 looking less likely by the day), teams that are bona fide contenders are best served to push their chips in now, and go for it all in 2010-2011. If only to give their fans a reason to come back after the impending lockout this summer.

Orlando got a lot better today. It got rid of two horrendous contracts, two overrated forwards who had already taken Orlando as far as they possibly could (to the Finals two years ago), and replaced them with an intriguing reclamation project in Arenas, a bona fide stud in Richardson, and a home town favorite in Turkoglu.

And they got a first rounder to boot from the now-rebuilding Suns, who one has to figure will look to move Steve Nash next as they embrace rebuilding full-on.

Great moves by Orlando. Gotta give them credit. With Rondo out for a couple weeks for the Celtics, with the Bulls fighting injury issues as well, and with the Heat still working out the kinks, the door is wide open for Orlando to vault to the top of the East entering the stretch run. And of the East's Big Three, home court matters most to Orlando.

(My only concern would be how Arenas fits in. Not that I wouldn't have done the trade -- I would have. But the Magic's "deadliest weapon" the last couple years has been JJ Redick. The kid is clutch ... as a 15-17 minute role player. If this move means Redick has to play more, the holes in his game will become even more exposed, and that's not a good thing. That, however, is the only potential drawback I see to this. And Magic coach Ron Jeremy ... excuse me, Stan Van Gundy, is too good to let this be an issue).

As a Bucks fan (and man, what a killer defeat Wednesday was) seeing his team still trying to put the pieces together, this one hurts. But as a fan of the "Anyone But the Heat" bandwagon, I love these trades. It makes a good team, even better.

And if we're staring at a May and June full of (in some form) Celtics vs Magic, Celtics vs Heat, Heat vs Magic, Lakers vs Spurs, Lakers vs Mavs, Mavs vs Spurs, and that's just the lead-in to a potential third straight Lakers / Celtics showdown for the O'Brien Trophy, well, let's get May and June here as quickly as possible.

Friday, December 17, 2010

week 15 picks: moment of truth sunday

"I was wondering how you're feeling --
I thought I saw you kneeling,
And holding your gut last night.

It looked like you were praying,
But I heard someone saying,
You had been in an awful fight.

You get the worst of it every time.
Lashing out with no reason or rhyme.
To loose all this rage, at so tender an age,
Little baby growing up in a rat cage.

Are you ready for the fallout?
Who you gonna call out?
When does it finally comes to blows?

I think that you're forgetting
The blood that you've been letting,
Has a price on it noone knows.

You may be suffering in your sleep.
You may be getting in way too deep.
And you may not care, for advice that I share --
In one ear and out the other ..."

-- "Are You Ready for the Fallout" by Fastball. Merry Chrismukkah fellow Chiefs fans! The team we love has given us everything we could have asked for -- meaningful football in this blessed holiday season. Now it's up to the Fine 53 to "save the date" for January 8th or 9th at the First Church of Arrowhead ...

----------------------

The "Don't Matter One Damned Bit to Chiefs Fans" Game Predictions:

* Falcons 24, at Seahawks (+6) 21. Seattle can lose it's next two (vs Falcons / at Bucs), and still host the Rams in a winner-take-all showdown to close out the season. How geeked has NBC gotta be over flexing two 6-9 teams into the prime time slot!

* Cardinals (+1 1/2) 3, Panthers 0. Believe it or not ... the Arizona "Super" Cardinals could control their own destiny after Sunday's games. From 3-9 to the playoffs. You gotta love the NFC West!

* at Bengals (-1) 24, Browns 20. Bengals are due for a win.

* at Cowboys (-6) 41, Redskins 10. I am thoroughly enjoying the hellish season God has given to mike shanahan. Losing because of a botched snap on an extra point? Couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy.

* Eagles (+3) 31, at Giants 24. Giants are not making the playoffs. They're losing Sunday to the Vicks, they're going to get rolled in Lambeau next week, and their finale at FedEx will be meaningless to both teams.

* at Patriots (no line) 35, Packers 24. I bet Rodgers plays, but it won't be enough.

* at Bucs (-4) 24, Lions 17. Lions pulled their huge upset last week. They can go back to being the league's welcome mat again now.

* Texans (+3) 24, at Titans 20. Yawn.

* Bears (no line) 24, at Vikings 13. Having tailgated in Minnesota in mid-December a few years ago ... I cannot even imagine how insanely cold this game is going to be. There isn't a shot in hell I'd attend this game. My lasting image of that roadie to the Metrodome was (a) drunk Vikings fans stealing my Santa hat and beating on my head like a drum, and (b) walking back to the car in -11 temperatures, through a foot of snow on the uncleared sidewalks. You couldn't pay me to live in those hellish conditions. In fact, I distinctly remember saying to Gregg when we got to the car that "I will never again step foot anywhere that is colder than Kansas City". Go figure ... I've been to Milwaukee in January three times since then. The lesson? Three fold. (1) I insanely love the NBA. (2) It's cold up north at this time of year. And (3) I'm full of more crap than a port-o-potty most of the time ...

The "Games of Interest to Chiefs Fans" Wishful Guesses:

* 49ers (+9) 24, at Chargers 20. Hey, we've gotten an even more ridiculous, improbable upset out of these guys before. Plus, for my own sanity, this has to happen. Make Sunday meaningless, 49ers! Do your part!!! (Which, of course, means San Diego wins 41-3 tonight, as I drown myself in vodka tonics at whatever bar I watch this thing at. Thank you once again, Time Warner, for refusing to carry the NFL Network. Here's hoping an extra lump of coal and a heap of bad news is in your earnings report this Chrismukkah season for that decision).

* Saints (+2 1/2) 31, at Ravens 10. I want Baltimore to open the playoffs. This is a fatally flawed team.

* at Colts (-5) 24, Jaguars 20. Winner likely wins the AFC South. Should be a great game between two teams that usually stage classics when they face each other.

* at Dolphins (-6) 24, Bills 10. Dolphins should be 9-6 going to New England to close the season, with Detroit on tap next week.

* at raiders (-6) 31, broncos 3. As always, if the terrorists detonate a dirty bomb in oakland during this game, it is not a national tragedy, it is a cause for celebration.

* at Steelers (-5) 30, Jets 9. (tom petty voice) well they're free ... free falling! Yeah, free ... free falling!

The Chiefs Commentary and Prognostication:

I don't know why I did it ... but despite being told how bad the beatdown was, despite getting at least two "don't even bother, just delete it" texts from buddies who knew I was stuck at the family get-together ... I did watch Sunday's debacle over the last couple of nights.

And rarely have I been as p*ssed off at the "performance" of a Chiefs quarterback.

The last time I remember truly feeling rage, absolute rage, at the performance of our quarterback, was Steve Bono in the season finale in 1996. Hate to bring it up, but that's really the only performance of the last twenty years that I can compare Brodie Croyle's day to. You might remember that 1996 finale. It was a "win and we're in" game at Buffalo, who was playing for absolutely nothing (they were locked into the three seed as AFC East champs). Because of injury to Rich Gannon, Marty had to start the benched Bono ... who promptly tanked the game. Bono didn't even try. He didn't want to be there, he was still (justifably) p*ssed off at
getting benched three weeks earlier, and decided to get back at Marty and the Chiefs braintrust the only way he could: by screwing up.

Bono went 14/28 that day, for 138 yards, 0 touchdowns, 2 interceptions, and also coughed up the ball twice while dropping back to pass. He delivered a clunker for the ages, his final parting shot at the regime that cut the legs out from under him.

I remember watching that game at my buddy Jason's house, and I can still remember how enraged I was when it was all said and done.

(Side note: I can only remember three games we watched at Jason's mom's house. The 1996 Bills tank job by Bono. The 1994 Monday nighter in denver, that I stormed out of after Marcus Allen fumbled, elway drove the donkeys, and scored on a play where they only had 10 guys on the field. 10 vs 11, and elway walks into the end zone untouched. I hate that d*ckhead. Thankfully, we rallied to win that one. And the worst one of all, the 1993 donkeys game, when the Chiefs led by double digits the whole way, only to have that d*ckhead complete a cross body, 70 yard bomb to ricky nattiel, and shannon sharpe scored a couple plays later to put denver ahead late in the game. The lesson? (1) john elway is a d*ckhead whose tombstone will someday turn a lovely shade of yellow after I'm done whizzing on it. And (2) don't watch games at Jason's mom's house, bad things happen).

Sunday's "effort" by Brodie Croyle evoked memories of Bono's tank job. I sat there in abject rage by the third quarter, when the defense was forcing turnovers, giving us a chance, and Croyle either (highly unlikely) refused to throw the ball, or (bango!) was so scared to be on the field, that he just gave up. Croyle's performance on Sunday was pathetic. If I was Scott Pioli, I'd have cut his ass on the walk up the tunnel, and told him to find his own way back to Kansas City. Even watching it 48 hours later, I was getting all worked up. Brodie Croyle's performance on Sunday was undefendable. Even to me, and I dare say there was no bigger supporter of Croyle than me. I'm the guy who clapped for three straight minutes when we drafted him in 2006. I'm the guy who called for Croyle to start from day one in 2007. I'm the guy who was hacked Croyle didn't get a fair shot last year to win the job. I liked Brodie Croyle.

But Sunday was so utterly inexcusable, so pathetic of a performance, that I'm through with him. You can blame it on the offensive game plan (which was a stink bomb that would clean out the room), you can blame it on the receivers (Bowe returning to his drop-the-pass ways), you can blame it on the complete lack of a running game.

Or you can conclude as I did, that Brodie Croyle wanted no part of that game, was scared sh*tless to be on the field, and drove the final nail in the coffin of his once promising career here in Kansas City.

(Because once you've lost me, I mean, how do you rally from that? I'm the biggest homer I know. I'm more in the tank for the Chiefs, than the average MSNBC anchor is in the tank for President Obama and the progressive agenda. And I say that affectionately -- I watch at least two hours of MSNBC every night, and I strongly support the progressive agenda. Yet even I can admit MSNBC is in the tank for this President. My point being – if I can't stomach you being on the Chiefs active roster, how do you recover from that? You don't).

Because of Brodie's horrendous, career-killing afternoon, the Chiefs margin for error is once again zero. But, despise Brodie's pathetic performance, we still control our own destiny.

For the Chiefs, the path to the playoffs is simple. Win every game left on the schedule, and you're in. Beginning Sunday, in St. Louis, against the fellow first place Rams.

The Chiefs and Rams have played four times since St. Louis pimped itself out and stole the Rams from Los Angeles. The Chiefs beat them in the Dome in 1997 by a touchdown. They beat them in the Dome in 2006 in a game remembered best for my epic post-game recap meltdown about the announcing. The Chiefs boatraced them at Arrowhead in 2002 by a 49-10 score that effectively ended the Rams season and potential dynasty.

And my favorite game of the series, when the defending Super Bowl champion, 6-0 on the season "Greatest Show on Turf" was (emmitt smith voice) blowed out at Arrowhead in 2000. (My favorite memory of that game? Three fold. (1) Gregg yelling at Kurt Warner before the game "you're not finishing (the game) today!" Warner left with a broken hand in the second quarter. (2) Bracey Walker blocking a punt, and Mike Cloud taking it to the house. Not just because that was unquestionably the sole highlight of Mike Cloud's career ... but I miss Bracey Walker. Nobody was cooler at the Players Entrance back in the day than that guy. Of course, given that the only people who knew who the hell Bracey Walker was were me and Gregg, that might explain why he was so cool towards us. And (3) Gunther caught on the sidelines in a four-letter-word tirade at the entire defense after they allowed the Rams to score a touchdown, which cut the lead to 27-7. Gun's explanation: "I expected a shutout today". God bless that guy, he actually expected to shut the Rams out. No wonder he was a disaster as a head coach).

So at least history says the Chiefs have a fighting chance. But for the Rams, this game is every bit as important. Yes, a loss doesn't destroy their season -- if the Rams win their last two, they're in as division champs no matter what Seattle or San Francisco does. But a win, and the Rams likely are looking to clinch next Sunday, and make their finale in Seattle meaningless.

I believe there are three keys to this game. First, the crowd. I fully expect at least half the Dome to be filled with Chiefs fans (as it was in 1997 and 2006). We need to take over that place. I wish I was going. I wish I could be there to witness this game. But, when I travel to Chiefs games, we lose, plain and simple. I refuse to destroy this season out of selfish ambitions, so I'll be watching this one on the TV somewhere.

But for the Chiefs fans who are going, take over the Dome. Turn it into Arrowhead East. Be loud. Do your part. I think the sight of the "home crowd" being negated will rattle the Rams. If you doubt that, think back to last year at Arrowhead, when the joint was (at least) 40 percent Cowboys fans, and (at least) 60 percent Steelers fans. It was embarrassing. Let's pay it forward in St. Louis on Sunday.

Second, the offensive game plan. (steve sighing in disgust). I don't know why Chiefs offensive coordinators do this, but all of them do for some reason, save for one (Paul Hackett). For some reason, when the backup comes in, they tear whole sections out of the playbook, and go to a vanilla, run-heavy, conservative mindset. And I hate it. If your backup can't max out the playbook, why the f*ck is he on the roster? I get that he's a backup for a reason, but for crying out loud, if you have so little faith in him that you literally ignore whole chunks of the playbook out of a lack of confidence in the guy, why is he on the roster?

I hope Cassel goes. But if it's Croyle, then goddammit, open the offense up. Don't handicap Brodie Croyle before the game begins. As much as I ripped Croyle above for his horrendous performance on Sunday, Chuck Weis and Todd Haley deserve a sh*t ton of blame as well. They coached scared. That cannot occur again, or else this promising, "hell yes I paid my $106 for my wildcard ticket, and I've already set aside the $180 for the title game!" season goes down the sh*tter barring a miraculous upset down the stretch of the Chargers.

(Or the Jets losing out, which not only is completely logical -- every Jets fan is walking around in a state of panic right now knowing how logical that outcome is. Believe me, I know. At Steelers / at Bears / vs Bills, who are going to spring a huge upset on someone, and I doubt it's New England in two weeks. I mean, how panicked would the New Meadowlands be if the Jets enter that one at 9-6, L4, needing a win? Plus, now we've invoked the wrath of the Football and Decent Sportsmanship Gods with Sal Alosi's insane knee decision last week. We're f*cked. It's 2008 all over again -- opening 8-3, then dropping 4 of 5, including the finale to a "just glad to be here" Dolphins team. I'm telling you, if you think Chiefs fans are worked up right now, you should see Jets fans. (dick vitale voice) It's panic city baby! With a capital P!)

Third, and this is the key ... can this defense finally stop someone from running roughshod over them? Here's the ugly numbers from the last seven weeks:

at San Diego (L 0-31): 43 rushes, 207 yards, 4.8 avg.
vs denver (W 10-6): 23 rushes, 161 yards, 7.0 avg.
at Seattle (W 42-24): 12 rushes, 20 yards, 1.7 avg.
vs Arizona (W 31-13): 20 rushes, 101 yards, 5.0 avg.
at denver (L 29-49): 31 rushes, 153 yards, 4.9 avg.
at oakland (L 20-23): 26 rushes, 112 yards, 4.3 avg.
vs Bills (W 13-10): 33 rushes, 137 yards, 4.2 avg.

Average: 27 rushes, 127 yards, 4.7 avg.

If you remove the outlier, the Seahawks win (where the Chiefs got up big early, and the Seahawks had to start throwing the ball to catch up), it shows how horrendous the Chiefs run D has been in the last two months:

Average Without Seattle: 29 rushes, 145 yards, 5.0 avg.

You aren't going to beat anyone worth a damn if they're running the ball that often and that successfully. To put into simple terms how dominating a 30 rush afternoon would be, figure the average NFL play takes 30 seconds from snap to the next snap. If you're running it 30 times, you've bled 15 minutes off the clock, minimum. That's 15 minutes that the defense isn't getting off the field, that the offense isn't having the chance to score. That's crippling.

(Or, in an even easier way to understand it, that's exactly what the Chiefs have done in most of their wins this year -- jump out to an early lead, then pound the football, bleed the clock, and shorten the game. It's highly effective, I'd say).

The Rams have a pretty damned good ground game, led by Steven Jackson, and made even more effective by the rapid development of Sam Bradford. You can't gang up on the run because Bradford can beat you. Somehow, the Chiefs front seven HAS to stop the run on Sunday. Specifically, the defensive line has to plug the gaps, and shut down the rush at the point of attack. The key to this game, the biggest factor, I think, is how effective Ron Edwards, Tyson Jackson, Glenn Dorsey, Shaun Smith, and Wallace Gilberry are in overpowering the Rams offensive line. If they play to their capabilities, if they get the job done, the Chiefs should win this game with ease no matter who is under center for them, be it Cassel, Croyle, Palko, or some dude they plucked from Lot G in the pregame. If the defensive line is routinely shoved around, though, if Steven Jackson is at 100 yards midway through the third quarter, then the potential for another disasterous road performance is there.

My guess? Cassel starts. The Chiefs fans negate any home field the Rams might otherwise have had. I expect a run-heavy offense once again, because the Rams defense can be pushed around ... but I also expect Chuck Weis to come to his senses, and take his shots down the field. As much as Chuck Weis frustrates the crap out of me, I'll give him this: he never makes the same mistake twice. The Chiefs will never again neuter their quarterback like they did last week, at least as long as Chuck Weis is calling the shots. (And since Todd Haley is the one who'd overrule him, and Coach Haley is anything but a conservative play caller, I think it's safe to say the pathetic game plan from last week is dead and buried).

I expect this one to play out like the Jaguars game, honestly. A fun, tight contest for the better part of three quarters ... and then the better team separates itself to win by a deceivingly comfortable margin.

Since there's still no line due to Cassel's status ... Chiefs (no line) 31, at Rams 17.

And when we win this game, wherever I wind up watching this thing at, don't be shocked if I pull a classic Steve, and sprint out the front door, run out into the middle of the street, start fist pumping, screaming "woo! yes! woo!" and then calmly walk back inside, look around the room, take a huge chug from my libation, and with a huge sh*t-eating grin on my face, ask the obvious:

"Playoffs?!?! Don't talk about ... playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?" :)

Sunday, December 12, 2010

to get officially on the record ...

I hate having to predict this game. On the one hand, I'm that guy who's been screaming for years that "I never bet against a proven, veteran team, at home, with it's back to the wall". That exactly describes the Chargers today. If they win today, there's a very realistic probability that they finish at 10-6, and figure into the tiebreakers somehow for a playoff berth.

If they lose, they're done. The best they could do is 9-7, and both the raiders and Chiefs would hold tiebreaker edge over them. So to say this is a "must win" for the Chargers, certainly is an accurate statement.

On the other hand ... every year, we see some really long-term talented team slide back to the pack, the beginning of the end of it's run, don't we? Last year we kept waiting for the Steelers to put it together. They never did. The year before, surely the Giants can't miss the playoffs after opening 5-0 can they? (They did). Is this year's slide back team the Chargers?

Third, if you go back and analyze the 2001 Patriots season (and believe me, I have), you'll see that the turning point of their season ... was a beatdown by the Rams in Foxboro on a Sunday night in mid November. The Rams rolled in, out-muscled the Pats, emerged a solid winner, en route to their second Super Bowl in three years. The Pats ... never lost again after that defeat.

Is it possible our beat-down at fake mile high, was the wake-up moment of the season?

I know Matt Cassel is out today. I know a lot of fans, media, and critics are fearful and/or outright frightened out of their minds about Brodie Croyle starting today. To which I say this -- do you really think Todd Haley, an outstanding offensive mind and someone who knows talent on that side of the ball when he sees it, you think Haley keeps Brodie around if he thinks he can't step in and win a game when needed? Haley (and his boss Scott Pioli) have run off everyone they didn't care for from the Carl years. They've kept very few players from that era, and the ones they have kept, have responded to the challenge magnificently. (Hali, DJ, Charles, D Bowe, Waters, Flowers). Do you really think Haley and Pioli wouldn't have upgraded the backup QB position if they felt Brodie would fail every time he took the field?

Furthermore, if anyone can coach Brodie Croyle into delivering a 23-30, 310 yds, 3 TD, 0 INT performance today, isn't it Chuck Weis? As I noted to Wayne, our bowling league manager and the head of parking at the gate we enter for Chiefs games, "it's not like Charlie Weis has won a Super Bowl playing a 2nd year 6th round pick from Michigan nobody had heard of". I was being sarcastic of course -- Weis has done that. He also somehow made two BCS bowls with Brady Quinn under center -- you know, the guy who couldn't get on the field in Cleveland, and is third string behind a rookie in denver that at least half the people who follow the game thinks will never start a game, in tim tebow. That guy. Weis won with him.

So as Chiefs fans, you can go one of two ways. Accept what 95% of the media and the message boards think will happen, and brace for a crushing defeat ...

Or choose to believe that today, in San Diego, with potentially the playoffs, the division, a home playoff game, on the line, you can choose to believe as I do.

Today is going to be the Chiefs finest hour.

I believe in this team. I believe in this coaching staff. I believe we have yet to see the best this team has to offer. Today, we're going to get it. There's no pressure on the Chiefs. A win is gravy. A loss is expected. All the pressure is on San Diego. It's a must-win in every sense of the phrase for the Chargers.

And if you asked me who I trust more with pressure on their shoulders, Norv Turner or Brodie Croyle with the league's best rushing attack to back him up ... give me Brodie every time. There's no "I" in "team", but there sure as all hell is an "I" in "victory", which is what the Chiefs are coming home with this evening.

Chiefs 31, at Chargers 17.

Monday, December 6, 2010

chiefs! donkeys! where you definitely didn't feel the love ...

"All I want is to see you smile.
If it takes just a little while.
I know you don't believe that it's true.
But I never meant any harm to you.

So don't stop thinking about tomorrow!
Don't stop! It'll soon be here!
It'll be here! Better than before!
Cause yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone ..."

"Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac. Yesterday's gone guys. It was ugly, it was brutal, and yes, it took every ounce of self-restraint I didn't know I had to keep from b*tch slapping a few of their asshole fans yesterday. But a win is a win. Yesterday's gone. And now, the focus turns to tomorrow, to the biggest game this team has played since the playoff debacle in Indy four years ago. I hope you're digging this season as much as I am. But if you're not, that's ok. I've still got four weeks to get you on the bandwagon ...

---------------------------------

(old school game show host voice) The password is "relieved".

Relief. It's the feeling I had exiting that stadium yesterday, and I'm guessing most Chiefs fans, whether watching at the Stadium, watching at home, or at their favorite watering hole, felt the same way. For sixty minutes, the Chiefs and broncos staged the type of game that would put casual fans in a coma. There was no imagination, little excitement, but a ton of hard hits, awesome defensive plays, and when the dust settled, when Dusty C got off that final perfect punt that all but sealed the win, and then kyle orton tossed up the desperation heave that fell incomplete, relief. It's all you could feel.

You never apologize for a win. Never. No matter how ugly, or how undeserved, you never apologize for outscoring the opposition. The denver broncos probably should have won yesterday. If their defensive lineman hadn't dropped a gimme Pick Six midway through the fourth quarter, they probably would have won. But, feel relieved Chiefs fans.

Oh, and feel confident too. Yesterday's 10-6 slugfest win coupled with a shocking oakland victory means we, us, the Red and Gold, are the only team in the League that leads its division by more than a game.

We, us, the Red and Gold, have the easiest, clearest, safest route to meaningful football in mid January. That's ... a relief. And pretty damned cool.

Here's your recap on the day that was, starting with the night before, when ...

* A tradition unlike any other occurred. Yup, the "family Thanksgiving"! There's a lot of "traditions" that have fallen the last few years, as lives change and people evolve, but thankfully, the "Dusty cooks a turkey and Steve hogs all the dark meat" tradition lives on. Good for us.

* Arrived at the gates about 7am yesterday. Pulled in right next to Phil and his crew. Some brave souls ventured outside to do some apple pie shots with our tailgating neighbors. Me? Hell no. It was heated on the bus. There's no way my happy ass was stepping foot outside until I had to.

* Carl's winning streak against the parking attendants continues.

* Got everything set up and situated by 9am. The beer pong table was operational ... only it was too cold to even think about playing beer pong with beer. It finally hit me about 10:15 -- we should have done it with the spiked hot chocolate. By the time I thought of it though, it was too late to get a good tournament going. But file that under the "things to try at the next home game" file.

* As usual, our neighbors across the street did not disappoint. First, they were either too drunk, high, stupid, or all three, to drive their bus over the flag pole holder. It's a simple task guys -- you put the plank on the ground, and roll a tire over it. They not only couldn't do it, they finally gave up, and for some reason, decided to drive the bus off the grass, around in a circle, and try again. They were finally successful.

Then, they decided to decorate their tree next to them, since it is the holiday season. This tree ... Tyler put it best: "It really is Charlie Brown's tree!" There was more tinsel and ornaments on the ground, than in the tree.

Finally, they did manage to get the flags up, only ... "one of these things is not like the others". They hung the Chiefs flag backwards and upside down. You gotta love the drunk, stoned, mentally challenged neighbors.

* the bravest guy in Lot G yesterday? Without question, the 20-something-ish guy in a donkeys jersey and shorts, running down the street waving a huge donkeys flag. That raised the donkey hatred in me that just kept getting worse as the day went along. But at the same time, you had to laugh. And admire the guy's balls. There's no way I'd do that in denver with Chiefs stuff. Actually, I might. But I know there's no way I'd do it in oakland.

Thankfully, the dude was "dealt with" by a couple Chiefs fans about ten tailgates away. Not in our house asshole. Not in our house.

* I made a point to boo and scream at every denver fan I saw after that. I cannot even begin to type how much I hate those people. But, at least denver fan knows his or her football, generally speaking. That, and they won't steal stuff once you look the other way, like raiders fans.

* Gregg and Jenni arrived about 9:30. Apparently Jenni was going to tailgate with some friends. Which is good. But somehow, coming in northbound 435, exiting onto Stadium Drive, (I'm assuming) entering Gate 6 ... they wound up in Lot A. As Gregg asked: "how the hell does that happen?" As someone else noted, "we couldn't drive from here to Lot A if we tried to". So she was stuck with a healthy hike to join her fellow tailgaters. Sucks to be her.

* Dusty and Kellie arrived shortly after. Yes, I booed the broncos fan. Even if she is the only denver fan alive that doesn't make me want to punch them in the face the second I see them.

* One of my favorite lines of the day: we're standing around discussing Willie Nelson's latest arrest for pot possession, and Gregg goes "here should be his entire defense: I'm Willie freaking Nelson!" Agreed. Seriously, how can anyone arrest Willie or Snoop Dogg for weed possession? It's an outrage.

* A late Castro sighting! He didn't show up until we were tearing down to head in. But he didn't disappoint as usual. He was drinking a "pansy daiquiri" in his words, and his grillz were gone! His silver grillz were nowhere to be found! After some laughs, he deadpans "well, I need to replace them, but they're the expensive ones. It's gonna cost me $180 to replace them!" and that brought the house down. $180. You gotta love it.

Seriously, I get that a lot of fans are now all about watching the game at home, because of the improvement of technology and the cost of watching for free versus paying to watch, I get all that. But I can never be one of you. There's something to be said for experiencing the NFL, versus watching the NFL experience. I could never give up going to games. It's ingrained in me. I hope this incredible, franchise-correcting season draws in a few more people who wind up like me, and ensure Arrowhead going forward remains one of the last legitimate home field advantages that remain in the League. Having said that,

* Congratulations to the fanbase yesterday. The lower bowl was packed. The upper deck was nearly full. Even the club level had more filled seats than yellow chair backs showing at times yesterday. On a brutally cold day. Good job guys.

* Funniest fan of the game: this chick that sat two rows in front of me. It was her first Chiefs game. But she was enthusiastic, and totally into it. She even admitted "yeah, I'm a bandwagon fan. I'm only here because these guys are good again!" But she earns funniest fan status because the first few times that "first down!" chant occurred ... she yelled "second down!" You gotta love it.

* Every 132 regular was there yesterday. Always a good thing.

* The Springfield chick was overly enthusiastic when she and her husband arrived about ten minutes before kickoff. The reason? As she was proud to show us, she'd managed to successfully smuggle in a flask. I had to laugh. Some of us have been smuggling adult beverages into that stadium for about 15 years and counting.

* The "Other Steve" was there! That made watching this game thoroughly enjoyable, when I'm able to rationally discuss the game with a knowledgable fellow fan. I like that guy.

* KC Wolf's sketch was awesome. Very short and simple, but I thoroughly loved it. A couple donkeys fans wander out of the tunnel. One dressed in nothing but an orange barrel and waving a broncos flag, the other one riding a kid's horse. Wolf drives down the tunnel in his ATV, takes it to midfield ... and then drop kicks "barrel man", and beats up the guy on the fake horse. After a few body slams, Wolf then gets back on his ATV ... and drives right over the broncos flag, a final act of humiliation for the opposition. I completely enjoyed the KC Wolf sketch yesterday.

(Even if it was its usual uncreative, "we've seen this 55 times before" self).

* What I completely did NOT enjoy yesterday, was the National Anthem. The "performance" was by the Eli Young Band. Now, there are very few things in life that any random friend or acquaintance of mine will agree with me on, because we all have varying opinions when it comes to sports or politics or whatever. But I can say with absolute certainty, and say it knowing that anyone who saw this "performance" yesterday will agree with me -- that was the WORST rendition of the National Anthem I have EVER seen. They screwed it up not once, but twice!

The poor guy doing the fireworks had no idea when to shoot them off, because the lead singer kept skipping around to different parts of the Anthem. So eventually he had to be like "screw it, just shoot 'em", because the "rockets red glare" and the "bombs bursting in air" launched at the same time.

And the flyover was way off target as a result. Yet another reason why it's the single biggest waste of taxpayer money known to mankind.

If you haven't seen it, the link is up at Arrowhead Pride. And yes, it was every bit as god-awful wretched as the comments section would lead you to believe it was.

* What sucked was that we couldn't boo the dude and his effort. I mean, you can't boo the National Anthem.

* In a moment of irony, Mallory posted on her Facebook yesterday morning about how good Eli Young was in concert the night before. As I texted Gregg after his abortion of a performance yesterday: "of course Mallory loves these guys".

* I haven't seen it, because I had a brain fart and forgot to record the Arizona game, but apparently at about the 11 minute mark of the 1st quarter of that game a couple weeks ago, yours truly is shown discussing strategory with my fellow section 132 fans. So that's kind of cool.

* Although I'm sure at least 50,000 some odd fellow Chiefs fans watching were probably thinking "who's this idiot with the Chiefs sweatshirt and Jets hat on? Can't he pick a team?"

* donkeys win the coin toss, choose to receive. That's what I'd do too. After initially moving the ball fairly well, the drive stalled at the Chiefs 40, and in came the bad colquitt to punt. Both teams then traded punts in their next drives. Of note in the donkeys first couple possessions is a good thing -- both drives wrecked out on 3rd down sacks by the Chiefs.

* The Chiefs second drive started with an 8 yard completion to D Bowe. Only, josh mcdaniels challenged the call, and to his credit, he did win the challenge. But that "victory" ignores an obvious question: why were the donkeys challenging a virtually meaningless first down gain? In the first quarter? That's a play you challenge in the 4th quarter, maybe. You definitely don't whiz away one of your challenges on a play like that not even five minutes into the game.

As I said many times yesterday, "I am really going to miss josh mcdaniels".

* I did not think Pope's touchdown catch was actually a touchdown. I thought he landed on the back line. But mcdaniels' didn't challenge the call. The most encouraging sign on that drive for the Chiefs? Cassel was 3-3 with 3 first down conversions on the three 3rd down passes he attempted.

* denver's next possession ended in a punt. This would be a (happy! awesome! spectacular!) recurring theme for the donkeys on Sunday.

* after a Chiefs punt, the broncos get a nice drive going, and reach the Chiefs 8 yard line before stalling out on a horrendous orton pass attempt for moreno. The field goal is good, and the score is now 7-3 Chiefs with 80 seconds to go in the half.

* For at least the third time I can recall in the past six weeks (and it might be higher), Matt Cassel took over possession of the ball with less than 90 seconds left in the half or overtime, and led the Chiefs to points. In this case, it was a 48 yarder as time expired. I have ripped Cassel as much as anyone, but give credit where it's due. When the Chiefs have needed him to play at his peak, he's delivered.

* Halftime was the Punt, Pass, and Kick finals. I miss the good old days, when the kids would wear their favorite team's jersey, because there isn't much that is more fun in that stadium than booing little kids because they're wearing donkey or raider jerseys. And yes, you read that last sentence correctly. I love booing little donkey and raiders fans.

* The Chiefs first drive of the second half, was their best drive of the half. They had 1st and goal at the 5. And wound up giving the ball back to denver at the 18 after a horrendous Cassel sack on 4th and goal. There's two things from those goal-to-go plays that every Chiefs fan has an opinion on -- the Richardson sideline meltdown, and the decision to not try the 19 yard field goal and get points. My opinions are:

a. I absolutely would have gone for it in that spot. I even noted to the "Other Steve" on 3rd down that "if we run it here, Haley's decided to go for it on 4th down no matter what. If it's a pass, we're kicking". Haley stuck to what he wanted to do. I'm not going to fault a coach in the second half for trying to get two yards and effectively end the game.

b. Yes, Richardson's sideline tirade was classless, and pushing our special teams coach when he tried to calm him down deserves a healthy fine and a stern lecture.

Having said that ... how awesome was it to see a Chiefs player actually give a damn? The last three, four years, if a Chiefs player took a bad penalty in that spot (like Richardson did with a bad false start that cost us a touchdown), what happens when they get pulled? They trot to the sideline, grab a seat, and ... scene.

No emotion. No anger. No visible frustration over the mistake they made.

I'm not condoning shoving a coach. I certainly wish he hadn't screwed up. But I loved the emotional show. And it just kept getting better, because on the field, things were getting extremely physical.

* There were at least three times in that second half when an all-out brawl nearly broke out on the field. As a fan, I could feel the hatred in the stands that those players on the field had. And it showed. The crowd was out for donkey blood in that second half.

Thank GOD this game is back to being what it should be -- a freaking war between two teams and fanbases who hate each other. Not dislike, not irritate, hate. We hate denver. denver hates us. It was happy old times in there yesterday.

* The donkeys kicked a field goal early in the 4th quarter, to knock the lead down to 10-6. Significant because these were the only points scored in the second half yesterday. It was a defensive battle yesterday. I loved it.

* Speaking of giving credit where it is due, the Chiefs 4th quarter defense everyone! The broncos had the ball four times after that field goal. Here is how each drive ended:

1. Tamba Hali sack, strip, and fumble recovery on kyle orton.
2. 3 and out, punt.
3. punt after one first down gained.
4. last gasp heave to midfield.

That's shutting the opposition down when it counts.

* Awesome moment in the fourth quarter: an injured broncos player lying on the field, timeout due to injury. denver has just punted, and the Chiefs are about to start what (could have been) a game-clinching drive.

The Chiefs music chooser dude starts playing some pop song ... only, the fans overtake it with the Chop. It keeps getting louder, and louder, as in "shut up with your cheezy canned music, we're here to will this team to victory!" The Chiefs music chooser guy eventually gives up, pops in the Chop ... and after a couple seconds, skips it around to sync it up with the crowd. Good job by the fans yesterday. The fourth quarter noise level was incredible.

* Also interesting to me, as per the play-by-play at nfl.com: the last nine snaps kyle orton took, he was in the shotgun. Part of that makes sense -- the Chiefs pass rush had been harassing orton all day, piling up four sacks and numerous knock downs. But the reason for the shift to the shotgun, I think, is because on the prior possession (which was a three and out), the four man rush was so strong, that orton didn't have time to set and throw, and thus underthrew his receivers near the sideline on both first and second down. The Chiefs (as usual) didn't blitz a ton yesterday. They picked their moments. Because they were able to, because the front line was getting the job done on its own.

Either denver's offensive line is a shell of what it used to be ... or the Chiefs have finally found some talented players that can generate a pass rush. (Or both).

* The final punt. Wow. Just ... wow. After the Chiefs handled the play-clock perfectly, burning every one of the forty seconds they could after 2nd and 3rd down, Dusty C trotted out on 4th down with :20 left, and the Chiefs up four. "sleazy" eddie royal waited back near his own 20. The donkeys were rushing 8, trying to block the kick. Dusty C had to nail it. He needed a quality Dusty C punt -- very high, very deep, with at least 5 seconds of hang time.

The snap. The kick. It hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity ... and slid right through "sleazy" ed's arms and headed backwards. Fumble?!?! No, apparently "sleazy" ed didn't ever touch the ball. But his screw-up cost the donkeys nearly thirty yards, and nearly ten seconds. Instead of having the ball at his own 30 with a couple plays to run, the donkeys were buried inside their own 5 with less than three seconds to play.

Ballgame.

* Still, after Cam Newton's heroics on Saturday, until that final pass fell incomplete, you still had to worry. Thankfully, Brandon Flowers successfully knocked the ball to the ground, and the Chiefs had escaped with their biggest win in nearly four years, since the Jaguars victory to launch us to the postseason in 2006.

* A huge "atta kid!" to Brandon Carr yesterday. orton was tossing at Carr a lot, and Carr was more than up for the challenge. Ditto also to Brandon Flowers, who was so spent physically that he literally had to be carried off the field by two teammates yesterday when the game ended. (Always a scary sight). The front seven generated tremendous pressure, but give the secondary credit. There were at least 7-8 successfully defended passes by our secondary yesterday.

* The final defensive stats that really matter -- 4 sacks, 1 turnover, 0 touchdowns allowed, 25% third down conversion rate allowed (3 for 12), only 13 first downs allowed, and they weren't even on the field for 23 minutes. A huge defensive day for the Chiefs yesterday. Hu-yuge.

* orton's final stats: 9 for 28, 117 yards, 0 TD, 0 INT, 1 fumble (lost), 46.3 rating. I don't care who you are, you ain't gonna beat anybody when your QB stinks up the joint like that.

* You're damned right I pounded the columns on the walk out. But the mood was exactly like after Buffalo. It wasn't ecstasy, it was "whew, we lucked out big time today".

* I absolutely loved the postgame Haley / mcdaniels moment. The completely fake hug Coach Haley gave him had me laughing, and then the pat on top of josh's head just totally had me rolling. The other thing I loved postgame with Coach, was after walking around the huddled mass of humanity that was on the field, he emerged after a couple minutes, and when the fans in the first few rows of 132 and 133 who were there cheered him, he just raised his fist and did a quick pump forward with a huge smile on his face. I get the feeling that beating the denver broncos is every bit as personal to Todd Haley, as beating the raiders was (is) to Marty. I love it.

* The Chiefs reached 8-4 for the first time in five years, since "The Stand" defeated the donkeys in week 13 2005.

* The Chiefs are in first place and control their own destiny to win the division with four games to play, for the first time since 2003.

* Not much to report post-game. Had to hang around for a long time for the parking lots to clear out. Nobody left early yesterday. It was a four screwdriver postgame, the first two of which were basically inhaled. I usually don't drink much during the games. (Yesterday I had one bloody mary). I might need to start re-thinking that strategory. I'm way too sober to rationally handle thrillers like yesterday was.

* Finally got back around halftime of the oakland / San Diego game, and seeing it was 21-3 was just thrilling. Watching the second half was every bit the thrill I hoped it would be.

But the funniest moment in that game was in the closing minutes, when all that was left was raiders fans, and they started booing and taunting anything San Diego related ... including the cheerleaders routine. Way to go San Diego. Stay classy.

* So, we're two up with four to play. With a win on Sunday, the Chiefs can virtually clinch the division if the Jaguars take care of business at home (they host the raiders). But no matter what happens on Sunday, the Chiefs are back in a spot they haven't been in since mid-October: multiple games clear of the field. Thanks to yesterday's raiders win, a loss Sunday isn't a killer. Thank you oakland!

* The most encouraging thing to me when it comes to this season, versus the playoff seasons of the Chiefs past fifteen, twenty years, is that this team is getting better every week headed down the stretch. Think back to the last five playoff berths. The 2006 squad lost it's 12th game with an epic collapse at Cleveland, and then got pushed around by the Ravens and Chargers. The 2003 defense got rolled at denver, then destroyed at Minnesota, in a sign of things to come. The 1997 squad had a quarterback controversy. The 1995 squad had a kicking crisis. And the 1994 Chiefs, like the 2006 squad, fell from 7-4 to 7-7 before rallying to win its last two and sneak in as the sixth seed at 9-7.

The last time a Chiefs team truly was "peaking" as it ran through December, was 1993. The last Chiefs team to win a home playoff game, a road playoff game, hell a playoff game of any kind, and reach the AFC Title Game. I think that's a good sign. The 2010 Chiefs are just starting to tap into their potential. The best is yet to come. Starting Sunday in San Diego, with an opportunity to put the nails in the Chargers coffin, and potentially wrap this thing up before Christmas. At this time yesterday, NOBODY thought the AFC West would be decided before week 17. Thanks to yesterday, this thing could be all but over come 7pm Sunday night ...

week twelve picks

The Statisticals. Last Week SU: 8-6-0. Season to Date SU: 98-62-1. Last Week ATS: 7-7-0. Season to Date ATS: 75-80-6. Last Week Upset / ...