I know you're weary.
I know your plans?
Don't include me.
Still here we are.
Both of us lonely.
Longing for shelter?
From all that we see.
Why should we worry?
No one will care, girl!
Look at the stars?
So far away!
We've got tonight.
Who needs tomorrow?
We've got tonight, babe --
Why don't you stay?
Deep in my soul?
I've been so lonely.
All of my hopes?
Fading away.
I've longed for love,
Like everyone else does.
I know I'll keep searching,
Even after today.
So there it is girl --
I've seen it all now!
And here we are babe --
What do you say?
We've got tonight.
Who needs tomorrow?
We've got tonight, babe --
Why don't you stay? ..."
-- "We've Got Tonight" by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band.
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Last Week SU: 10-5-0.
Season to Date SU: 57-34-2.
Last Week ATS: 7-7-1.
Season to Date ATS: 47-40-6.
Last Week Upset / Week: it covered.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 2-4-0 SU; 3-2-1 ATS.
This Week Upset / Week: Bears (+3) over Patriots.
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The Non-Jets, Non-those people, Non-Chiefs Picks.
* Titans (+6 1/2) 31, vs "Super" Chargers 27 (Game in London).
* at Bears (+3) 27, Patriots 13.
* Browns (+3) 28, at Bucs 24. "Good Times Game O' The Week" honors.
* Lions (NL) 34, at Dolphins 24.
* at Eagles (-5) 45, Panthers 13.
* at Colts 20, Bills (+7 1/2) 14. "Gordon Shumway Game O' The Week" honors.
* Texans (+5 1/2) 30, at Jaguars 27 (OT).
* Saints (+2 1/2) 28, at Ravens 13.
* at Redskins (-1 1/2) 38, Cowboys 31.
* Rams 27, at 49ers (+9 1/2) 21.
* at "Shane" Falcons (-5 1/2) 52, Giants 0. "Empty Nest Game O' The Week" honors.
The "Klassy" Kevin Keitzman Tweet O' The Week.
Wow. Where to begin ... other than noting, this is an exercise in futility. As "The Voice of Reason" would note: "you cannot reason with people, that don't have any reason".
(Which begs the obvious: how the f*ck do he and I, uuh, reason with each other? We all know I ain't all here.)
Anyways ...
Starting at the bottom (meaning the bottom tweet is 1, then the next to bottom is 2, and so on ...):
1. He's right. This is the rarest of sporting events, that not only meets -- and exceeds -- the hype, but knocks said hype to (reggie jackson voice) second f*cking base.
2. He's somewhat right. Yes, the Chiefs SHOULD have let the Patriots score a touchdown on that final drive. But what Ol' Kev, The Klassy One, Ol' "K"KK is conveniently ignoring?
Is that the Patriots are coached well enough, to know NOT to score in that situation. If we give them the obvious score? They'll stop at the one, fall down, bleed the clock, and end the game exactly as it, uuh, ended: via a field goal for the margin of victory.
3. See 2.
4. We're coming back to this later on.
5. OK, enough is enough, Ol' Klassy.
The Eagles scored the game winning touchdown with 2:25 to play in the Super Bowl (the toss to Zach Ertz). After going (and failing) for two, the Eagles led 38-33. With 2:25 to play. And a timeout still in hand, plus the two minute warning.
The Eagles essentially put the Patriots in the same godd*mned place the Chiefs did on Sunday night! I will grant you it is slightly different; the Eagles had a lead whereas the Chiefs were tied. But the situation is the same: a Patriots team, needing to score, inside of three minutes, is given the ball back after the opposition scores.
But in reality? There is no difference! Yet because the Eagles held (in fact, they held twice -- forcing a fumble and tacking on a field goal, then stopping the Patriots as time expired to win by eight), and the Chiefs didn't, that somehow makes the same f*cking strategory wrong for the Chiefs and right for the Eagles? This is insanity! It's the same damned plan, "K"KK! If you're going to question the strategory, fine, go for it, "Konfident" Kev.
(For the record, I'd have done what the Chiefs did, for one reason: you're not guaranteed to score. If it was 40-40 when Tyreek breaks it, maybe go down at the one and know you're getting three and the lead no matter what ... but trailing 33-40, you HAVE to take the points. Period.)
6. I do have to concede this: if anyone in our fine metropolitan area knows about "going for two", it's all around family man "Kon Artist" Keitz. #youmaypullyourpantsupnow
Again -- we're coming back to 4, before the weekend is over, via a "Tale O' The Tape". Stay tuned.
The Watching Party Plans.
There are no The Watching Party Plans, as this is a Chiefs game I will be attending in person.
The Tailgating Plans.
The Bus is planning to depart right at noon on Sunday. I know the STM Email says gates open at 2:30, but come on. It's going to be 65 and sunny on Sunday. Those bad boys are opening by 1:30 at the latest.
(Also, as I learned from my "highly placed source speaking on condition of anonymity", the man named "Rufus", a few weeks ago: once you see the gate attendants arrive, it will be 30 minutes or less before the gates open. I predict we see gate people no later than 1:15pm Sunday.)
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Friday 10/19 5:51am: we have an update! The menu has changed! Instead we are doing Bengal Brats via request from a few tailgating friends, plus assorted side dishes and desserts. Which means (in addition to jello shots), I might as well haul out the jalapeno poppers for Sunday. So much for the dream of not standing over a grill for a couple hours just
(I made 146 of these things for the 49ers game. They were gone before they even reached the food table. Image credit: me, via my iPhone 8 something.)
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Also, rumor has it that the second best maker of jello shots ever is coming out of retirement for this one. Again, it's just a rumor. (A rumor extremely dependent upon Amazon's delivery of the serving cups arriving at the Casa de Stevo by tomorrow night as scheduled.)
If you're planning to tailgate with us, spectacular! Anyone and everyone is welcome! However, due to the newbies tailgating straight west of us, we ask that you park in the actual Lot G parking across from our tailgating spot (or wherever you'd prefer), to keep as much space opened up as possible for the fun things in life. Like beer pong. Definitely beer pong.
See ya Sunday.
The Flashback.
Earlier this week, Arrowhead Pride asked its' followers on Twitter to, uuh, tweet, their favorite prime time game at Arrowhead * .
And there are some incredible, awe inspiring choices to, uuh, choose from. But in my opinion, there is only one choice that should win, and that is every bleeping second of Monday, October 7, 1991. If you're under the age of 35, you probably wouldn't understand why. If you're over the age of 35, you're nodding in agreement with my selection.
Because if you're over the age of 35, you understand just how improbable, just how unimaginable, hosting a Monday Night Football game was.
Because if you're under the age of 35, you cannot possibly comprehend, just how very much imaginable, Monday, October 7, 1991 never happening, was.
Which is why this week's The Flashback is a flashback to thirty years ago, to one of those "what are the f*cking odds" upsets some also-ran always seems to spring in the last four, five, six weeks, over a credible title contender.
On November 13, 1988 (Week Eleven of the 1988 season), the Chiefs sprung one of those upset, over the soon-to-be AFC Champion Cincinnati Bengals, 31-28 at Arrowhead. The Chiefs entered the game 1-8-1 ** . They were going nowhere fast. They had one playoff berth to show for their last eighteen years, and they promptly lost that game by three touchdowns to a team coming in on a five game losing streak.
That bastion of accuracy known as Wikipedia reports that nearly 34,000 fans were in the stands that day. I can tell you, that as usual, Wikipedia is shown to be a purveyor of "fake news". I know this, because I was in the stands that day, and there is a better chance of me going to bed sober tonight, than there is of 34,000 fans being inside of Arrowhead that day.
Thankfully, no matter what the attendance that day was, one person definitely was in attendance. A man by the name of Carl Peterson. I have no idea what the hell he saw in this franchise on that day. (Maybe Carl was as hammered as most fans in the stands were.) But whatever it is he saw, triggered in him the desire to accept the responsibility of once again attempting to rebuild the most poorly run franchise in the sport.
It is not an exaggeration, an understatement, or a bullsh*t proclamation, to note that had the Chiefs not shown something that day against the Bengals, to convince Mr. Peterson to come to Kansas City, that the Chiefs would not be playing here on Sunday night.
Oh, they might be playing, but it wouldn't be at Arrowhead.
That one upset thirty years ago, that led three years later to the greatest party Arrowhead has ever thrown (at least until January), is why we're showing up on Sunday, thirty years later, to face the Bengals.
Because trust me kids: whatever you may think of Carl Peterson?
He's damned near the sole and only reason, you're watching Chiefs football on Sunday night, whether on your television or (hopefully) with me inside of Arrowhead.
Him, and Marty.
Never forget that.
(*: I hate that they limited it to home prime time games. Because two of my three favorites (Chiefs at Ravens 2004, Chiefs at those people 1994), and three of my top seven (Chiefs at those people 2016), and four of my top ten (Chiefs at raiders 1997), are roadies. So, to stay true to the rules of this exercise in Twitter nonsense ... in reverse order, here are my ten favorite home prime time games of my life then. 10: Steelers at Chiefs 1997 (Marcus Allen throws the winning TD); 9: "Super" Chargers at Chiefs 2010 (Tuesday Morning Football); 8: Oilers at Chiefs 1995 (for you, the third Amen Corner finish of 1995, for me, the Beatles game); 7: Vikings at Chiefs 1999 (DT's last epic game, against (go figure) Jeff George); 6: "Super" Chargers at Chiefs 1995 (Vanover's OT punt return); 5: those people at Chiefs 2016 (Dontari Poe's TD Pass); 4: Seahawks at Chiefs 2000 (Where Stevo and Friends Meet Ed "Sweet Jesus" Hochuli ... to say nothing of one of the funniest MNF broadcast moments ever ("It Wasn't Me!")); 3: Steelers at Chiefs 2016 Divisional Round (I know it's a loss, but come on -- playoff football in prime time!); 2: "Super" Chargers at Chiefs 2011 (The Phumble); 1: Bills at Chiefs 1991 (for you Civil War buffs like me, this was the Glendale of my Chiefs fandom -- aka "the one moment an impossible dream, actually seemed possible).)
(**: the similarities between the 1988 Chiefs and 2008 Chiefs are frightening, to be honest.)
Stevo's Drink O' The Week.
I had a birthday brunch for my sister in law on Sunday, and any brunch / lunch / dinner / what the hell, we're all here get together in my family means there will be adult beverages involved.
And go figure, the person who it always falls to, to pick up said adult beverages?
Is me.
(In my defense ... I can't cook, so it makes sense.)
This week's libation -- which I am enjoying another bottle of right now -- is Yellow Tail Moscato. I'm not much of a white wine person usually (unless it's Pinot Grigio), but the Yellow Tail Moscato is not half bad. Especially when chilled to pushing forty degrees.
Give it a try!
(Note: currently on sale at Harry's (the Missouri side Price Chopper liquor department) for $8.99 for the 1.75ml bottle. That's a f*cking steal, boys and girls. A f*cking steal.)
The those people Commentary and Choice.
I loved von miller's quote this week, regarding tonight's old-school 007 slapper fight in the desert, between those people and the Arizona "Super" Cardinals.
"We're going to kick their ass!"
Aw, von. That's so adorable.
Because no son. No, you're not. They're going to whip yours all the way back to your green-friendly city.
* at "Super" Cardinals (+1) 43, those people 13.
The Jets Prediction.
* at Jets (+3) 34, Vikings 20.
"Disreputable" Mexican Food Truck Update.
(stevo exhaling deeply ...)
So, I moved to South Waldo *** almost three years ago now. (Damn, time flies sometimes.) My first fall / winter here wasn't too bad. Last year, we had five -- five! -- freaking water main breaks in the span of about two months, and thanks to the weird ass winter we had, all KCMO Public Works' finest could do was plug the leak, dump a ton of rock into the hole, and wait for spring to repave. Fine, so be it. Sh*t happens.
But then came Monday.
When this greeted me, as I headed out of the Price Chopper strip mall for the couple block walk home:
(84th Street, headed west towards (old school collection dude voice) the Kansas side. Image credit: me, via my iPhone 8 something.)
I mean, are you kidding me? Smoke thicker than it will be at Terrorhead on Sunday from all the dust one freaking car is kicking up? An entire side of 84th (the side with homes on it to boot!) completely unusable due to digging the trench?
And as if that isn't fantastic enough? The hidden jewel of South Waldo is Sunnyside Park. It is an amazing park. It almost justifies the ridiculously high rent prices down here. (Emphasis on "almost".) Every night, when I go jogging on the trail, you run into flag football teams practicing, baseball and softball teams practicing, 3 on 3 pickup games on the court, a few folks testing out the tennis courts. In the summer, there's a water play area for the kids. It's also very dog friendly.
This is what it looks like tonight:
(If you look really, really hard, near the back center of the picture, you can see a baseball team practicing, on the only one of three fields currently open for play. Image credit: me, via my iPhone 8 something.)
Something tells me, Year Tres down here, ain't gonna be as "water and sewer friendly", as Years Uno and Dos were. And Year Dos wasn't exactly something to brag about.
(***: I get that it is officially called West Waldo. Except it's not. It's South Waldo.)
The Chiefs Pontification and Prognostication.
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Picking The Chiefs This Season:
Straight Up: 5-1-0.
Against the Spread: 6-0-0.
Upset / Week (When Applicable): 1-1-0 SU; 2-0-0 ATS.
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I wish I had something jazzy, snazzy, classy, to throw out there for you.
Except I don't.
I've had a long week at work with quarter end, and I don't really get a comedown from that ending on Tuesday; I leave for San Antonio a week from today for a wedding that I am catching a 5:07am flight home on next Sunday to return from, in order to make at least half of tailgating and the entire game against those people.
And in fact, I'm actually contemplating doing something for this post next week, that I haven't done in nine years: recording it live, and broadcasting it to the masses. (If I could figure out this Periscope thing, I might consider that next Wednesday night or Thursday morning; I don't depart for KCI until noonish next Thursday.)
I honestly don't know what to think about Sunday night. For starters, this game terrifies me. This game is the one I've feared will be the Chiefs annual "sh*t the bed at home" contest we stage at least once a year. (Buffalo last year, Tampa 2016, Chicago 2015, Tennessee 2014, Pick Any One 2012, Miami 2011, oakland 2010 ... you get the point.)
The Chiefs should win this one something like 37-20. Only we all know they won't. Either this will be far, far closer than it should be ... or one side gets out 24-0, 27-3, and never looks back.
I guess I'll just make four notes, then make the pick.
1. If you're coming Sunday? Be loud. Let Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" know beyond the shadow of even the slightest of doubt, why prime time at Arrowhead, turns that place into Terrorhead.
2. This is the spot last season, that I believe derailed the season for good (even if we didn't know it yet). 5-0, facing a Super Bowl threat that we fought to a draw for 59 plus minutes, only to lose ... and then lose in prime time, on a short week, to a viable playoff threat with nothing to lose. I do NOT want a repeat of last season. (Especially if it means giving the Bengals what, 55 f*cking tries from the goalline with the clock expired?)
3. Don't hold it against me, if the Bengals introduce the offense, if I politely applaud Andy Dalton. Us Horny Frogs gotta stick together.
Finally ...
4. This weekend holds a lot of sentimental value to me, over a couple of events (kenny rogers) through the years. It's part of why I picked the theme I did -- yeah, it's sappy and sentimental to the point of being f*cking ridiculous ... but isn't that what I am 92.47% of the time? (Also, it referenced night time sh*t, and I can only go to "In The Air Tonight" so many times before that well runs dry, as a theme for prime time.)
None of the events that make this weekend matter to me are necessarily positive, so all I ask is that if I seem a bit out of it, or down, or less than my usual jovial self, just roll with it.
Because at least we've got tonight.
It's more than the reasons I mourn this weekend, can say. And godd*mmit, that hurts like a mo fo.
* at Chiefs (-6 1/2) 45, Bengals 20.
See ya when the gates open Sunday!
Oh, and coming (probably) tomorrow: the "Tale O' The Tape" -- what is "Fat" Andy's Worst Playoff Defeat, as Chiefs head coach?
Hey? If "Konfident" Kev posts the question, the least I can do, is try to answer it ...
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