(tailgating, about 10am)
(cd) (plays "real men of genius" parody)
(cd) here's to you, Mr. Thinks He Knows More Than the Head Coach! You sit 30 rows up, shirtless, and spout off such winning strategies as "throw the ball" ...
(everyone) (looking at me)
(steve) what! I sit 26 rows up, not 30!
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If there are any Chiefs fans left after yesterday, who still believe that Todd Haley deserves a second season as head coach of this team, then all I can say is that you are dumber than the Spanish announcing guys at a WWE pay-per-view, who feign surprise when their announcing booth gets destroyed in the main event.
That entire coaching performance yesterday by Coach Asshat was a fireable offense. Every bit of it. Coach refused to coach against Buffalo's weaknesses, and instead kept playing into their strengths (and our biggest weaknesses). The Bills had the 31st worst rush defense in the league; we threw the ball at a 2-1 ratio in a game in which we never trailed by more than 10, and immediately scored after the margin hit 10 to drop it back to 3.
The clock management was atrocious. Haley whizzed away three timeouts and a challenge yesterday for no obvious reason. Infuriating. And the fourth down decision making, I swear. I literally am getting sick to my stomach watching this man "coach" this team. I literally want to puke. In fact, it got so bad yesterday ...that for the first time since preseason, I drank during the game. Haley's coaching "efforts" were so atrocious yesterday that I paid $10 for a vodka and sprite, and another $10 for a hurricane, I physically could not watch that game without the aid of alcohol.
Let's recap this, from the good (tailgating) to the bad (the National Anthem) to the ugly (the game itself) ...
* Arrived at about 7am, a solid half hour later than usual. And we were still second in line.
* I'd call it a late-arriving crowd yesterday, but if they never arrive, are they technically late? The line to get in the gates at 8:15am when we headed down to save spots was about half the size you're used to seeing. A sign of things to come.
* the walk to save spots brought on a wonderful three point discussion about how (1) summer tailgating is better because its hot, (2) how sweet our tailgating spot we started using last summer was, and (3) we need more hot chicks in our tailgating group. Number (3) came up because of these two really good looking blonde chicks who we thought were going to try to steal our spot.
* Everyone was having issues parking yesterday if you were on the grass. The grounds crew did a fine job of clearing the parking lots ... only they piled up the snow right next to the curb, making it nearly impossible to turn around and get back on the grass.
* One thing the grounds crew did a horrendous job of -- nobody cleaned out the port-a-potties after last game. I can do without the stench of week old human waste at 8:30 in the morning.
* The menu yesterday was buffalo burgers, boneless spicy garlic wings from Buffalo Wild Wings, some chili, some potato soup thingy with hashbrowns, and of course, booze. Good stuff.
* You know its an eventful tailgate when only two people are drinking the handle of vodka ... and its gone in under three hours. Granted, I was one of the ones consuming said vodka, so you can attribute a chunk of it to me ... but I was getting matched screwdriver for screwdriver by some worthy competition.
* Thankfully, the weather wasn't bad yesterday. It got colder as the game went along, but it was never unbearable. Unlike right now here in KC, for example, when the windchill is in the single digits, and I'm making my lunch decision based on "its too cold to walk out to the car and go somewhere".
* We nearly got the HyVee Tailgaters of the Game. Sadly, they went with our neighbors across the parking lot because they decorated their Christmas tree better than we did ours. (The little miniature trees in the grass at the back of G and H, turned into a decorating war. Our neighbors fired the first shot at the Steelers game. We fired back at denver. This week, they hung up Christmas lights and had a tree skirt. I thought it was neat). Still, this was the first time all season the HyVee folks made it to the west side of the stadium.
* Sign that this season has been awful: I could not give away two extra tickets. Literally could not give them away. All you had to do was respond to my text offer from Saturday night to watch the game for the low, low price of "please don't cheer haley that's all i ask". And nobody wanted them. The sad thing is, I can't say I blame people one bit for staying away from this abortion of a season. And from avoiding watching our mentally challenged head coach prove on a weekly basis just how horribly Scott Pioli botched the coaching hire last February.
And other than the core group of bus riders, nobody showed up early. Even our new tailgating neighbors, we had no problems saving a spot for their bus, and they didn't get there until almost 9:30. Gregg and Brent showed up after 10. Dusty and Kellie were after 10:30. If I wasn't too cheap to pay for parking, I'd have shown up even later than that.
* Headed in around 11:30. The only 132 regulars there yesterday were me, Russ and Mona, Chris and Greg, and Curly Haired Guy. Everyone else either sold off their tickets or decided "screw it, I'm sleeping in". Again, can't fault anyone who made that decision. This team doesn't deserve the level of support it still generates from some of us.
* This is normally where I'd note how awful KC Wolf's sketch was (and it was pretty bad), but that wasn't even close to the worst part of the pregame ceremonies. The chick who did the National Anthem ... I'm pretty sure that was the worst rendition of the Anthem ever at Arrowhead. It was atrocious. It was off key, the words were slurred, the pace was rushed, it was in a word, TURRIBLE. Just TURRIBLE. Let's never invite this chick back to sing ever again, ok Chiefs organization?
I mean, I went with the Blue Ridge Lutheran Church group on Saturday in going around to various care facilities and houses where some of their parishioners were now residing. Good way to spread some holiday cheer to folks who need it. Fun times had by all, believe it or not. (Plus the post-caroling dinner, holy cow, that might be the best four bowls of chili I've ever eaten. When I go back for fourths, you know you've got a winner on your hands).
Anyways, I guarantee you, that group of 25 of us from Saturday, we were more on-key and composed than this chick yesterday was. (Also as a side note, I had my doubts about how much fun this thing could be. After all, I love music, but I can't sing. That, and its a church group, you have to figure there wouldn't be much drinkin' going on. Thankfully, I was wrong. Well, I was right, in that I can't sing. But I knew it would be fun when the first guy introduces himself to us and goes "now, it won't be a problem if I bring a flask? My wife's making me do this ...")
* And now for the weekly exercise where I begin to analyze the game, and instead wind up spending three hours typing up everything that Todd Haley did wrong, get really frustrated, and screw up my point (that Todd Haley is a TURRIBLE head coach) by ranting and raving and generally making no sense. Hooray.
Let's open things up by quoting Bob Gretz' recap of the decision to go for it in the first quarter:
"It (the opportunity to win) disappeared when head coach Todd Haley made another one of those decisions that will be second guessed for many, many days, weeks, even months. Fourth and goal at the Bills one yard line, there's no score and there are four minutes to play in the quarter."
In section 132, this hot as hell blogger was screaming "Kick! Take the points! Kick the f*cking football!" 99 coaches out of 100 in that spot take the gimme three, get on the board, and move forward. But there's always one guy willing to avoid doing the obvious and instead f*ck his team over. We all know who those "one in a hundred" coaches are. Prior to last February, we didn't employ one. We do now.
It wasn't just the decision to go for it there that was infuriating. Again, using the "99 out of 100" approach, you kick the field goal. These are two atrocious offenses going at it, both led by bad quarterbacks protected by leaky offensive lines. Take the damned points! That was bad enough (and would bite us in the ass in the fourth quarter, when instead of kicking to tie, we had to go for the win). Dammit I hate Todd Haley. I hate him so much that there's like smoke coming out of my ears and this bright burning fire in front of me signifying the rage I feel towards this scumbag.
(And I mean "scumbag" in its original definition. Todd Haley = used condom. Damned right he does. Wait, though, that's an insult to the condom, because a used condom indicates its owner "did the right thing" and used protection. Or at least had some fun. That's not something you say about going to watch the Todd Haley-led Chiefs, that it was "fun". That, and Todd Haley wouldn't do the right thing if Spike Lee himself coreographed his coaching decisions).
No, the decision to go was bad enough. The play call was ... really, it was Todd Haley at his scumbag finest. You've just gained 8 yards running it straight ahead with Charles to get you to the goalline. And now, what does Coach Haley call? A designed QB rollout with one of the least mobile QBs in the league. To the surprise of noone, the play was a disaster. Bills DE Aaron Schobel (from? You guessed it, TCU!) wasn't fooled for even 1/1000th of a second, and sacked Cassel for a 7 yard loss.
Gretz put it best (again), noting that "in a season where the head coach is trying to convince his team to play the Haley Way, taking the easy points just isn't going to happen. (...) That was a ten point swing, and that was the ballgame. Oh, there was plenty that happened afterwards, with Cassel throwing four interceptions, Buffalo running for 200 yards as a team ... however, it was Haley's decision to go for the end zone instead of taking the three points that set the tone for the afternoon".
I love that insight. First, for the backhanded putdown of the "Haley Way". And secondly, because Gretz is right -- that decision did set the tone for the afternoon. For the second straight week, our head coach took a stupid risk way too soon in the game, and when said risk blew up in his face, we lost the game because of it. I, for one, am damned sick and tired of seeing this occur. Every damned week. To the team that I love.
* At this point, the boos were reigning down. It was a horrible decision, compounded by an even stupider playcall. (A QB rollout there I could have lived with ... if you gave him a passing option as well! Because there were no receivers on the play, once Schobel guessed right on the playcall, you were drawing dead. At least send a TE across the end zone to give Cassel a target! Wait, that's just too damned sensible and grounded in common sense for this coaching staff to ever consider it. Again, I effing hate Todd Haley).
* The Bills take over after Cassel's sack, and promptly score a touchdown to take the lead 7-0. It was a lead they would never relinquish. In section 132, more boos reigning down. (I'm going somewhere with this, just bear with me ...)
* Chiefs take over after the kickoff, and have a nice drive going, and face 4th and 1 at the Bills 3. (steve sighing in disgust) Look it, I know every week I throw out the "if this is possible" comment in relation to a Todd Haley decision ... but "if this is possible", Todd Haley actually tops himself on the Mental Retardation-o-Meter he pretty much broke fifteen minutes earlier.
First, he challenges the spot, costing us not just a timeout ... but a challenge. This was amongst the dumbest challenges I have ever seen. There was zero chance this was getting overturned. Zero. If you want to take the timeout there to decide what to do, fine. (Actually, its not fine -- there was no decision to make. Kick the f*cking football and get on the scoreboard, like you should have done 15 minutes earlier). But why challenge? Why whiz away a challenge that you might need later on? Especially when you have ZERO chance of winning said challenge! Why! Why, why, why, why, why! (steve bashing head on desk in utter frustration).
Anyways ...
After losing the challenge and burning the timeout, Haley then opts to try the field goal, which is good. 7-3 Bills. But that just begs the question, "what changed from the previous drive to this one?" If you're willing to go for it 15 minutes ago when you need a yard at the goalline, why aren't you willing to do it now in basically the same spot? Yet another thing that drives me insane about this coach: there's no rhyme or reason to his decision making. If you're going to gamble and go for it on 4th down, fine. But be consistent about it.
(I know, the Devil's Advocate would point out "well Haley learned from his mistake 15 minutes ago and decided to take the points". No way. I refuse to even consider the notion that Todd Haley is smart enough to figure this out during a game. Because he's not. That, and Haley went for it again on 4th and 1 on our next drive. No consistency. No discernable pattern of common sense. Your 2009 Chiefs coaching staff everyone!)
* After a Bills field goal makes it 10-3, Chiefs take over at their own 20 with 1:03 to go. This is where the two pointlessly burned timeouts from the 4th and 1 decisions bite you in the ass. And not one of those semi-sexy bites designed to be a turn-on, but a full on "take a chunk out of you" bite. With only one timeout, the Chiefs have to aim for the sidelines. They manage to get a couple completions for once, and are at the Bills 48 with about 30 seconds left in the half, with the clock ticking. Cassel drops back to pass, and is sacked. Chiefs call timeout, and for all intents and purposes, we're at halftime.
If you don't whiz away the timeout on the challenge, you can still try to get into field goal range. If you don't whiz away the timeout deciding fourth and one at the goalline in the first quarter, you can still throw anywhere on the field. Because Todd Haley effed up in both cases, the Chiefs lost the ability to possibly put points on the board. We only needed 10 yards to try a field goal with Succup prior to that sack. Even after the sack, if you have one or both of the whizzed timeouts available, you only need 15 yards to try a field goal, 20 to be reasonably certain its going in.
I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but dammit, I can't take much more of this. The ineptness of this coaching staff needs to be hammered home on a continuous basis. Todd Haley deserves to be mercilessly ripped and constantly questioned for his decision making. He needs to be. The sooner the fans of this team wake up and realize just how screwed we are with him on the sideline, the faster a course correction can occur.
And spare me the "he's learning on the job" crap. No. When you're in a specialized field with only 31 other job occupants in the nation, earning millions of dollars a year, you don't get the luxury of "learning on the job". Either you get it, or you don't. Bad coaches don't grow into good ones. The good ones pretty much establish themselves right away, and stay good. While the bad ones suck ass from day one, have lackeys and brain dead fans make excuses for them, and set their team back 3-5 years due to incompetence, poor execution, and p*ssing off the fanbase with the constant incompetence, poor execution, and losing.
* As the Chiefs leave the field at the half, you guessed it. More boos reigning down from section 132. I'm anything but a happy camper at this point. (This is also when I sent Katie to get me some watered down vodka at $10 a pop). And the guy behind me, a drunk "Chiefs fan", apparently has had enough.
With me.
(drunk guy) (grabs me) why are you booing?
(steve) (incredulous) are you watching this game? They deserve to be booed!
(drunk guy) (getting angry) real fans don't boo.
(steve) the hell we don't.
(drunk guy) real fans always cheer for their team.
(steve) (annoyed) no, real fans call bullsh*t when they see it.
(drunk guy) (now really angry) who do you think you are?
(steve) (rapidly becoming angry) what?
(drunk guy) you're not a real fan! You're just some bandwagon p*ssy who got a free ticket today!
(steve) (absolutely speechless)
(drunk guy) I've been sitting here for every game for 20 years --
(steve) (really p*ssed off) the hell you have!
(drunk guy) you challenging me? how would you know, you bandwagon --
(steve) because I've been sitting in this very f*cking seat every game for a decade! And I'm damned sure I have never seen you before!
(drunk guy) (realizes he's been caught) well ... uuh ... maybe not in this seat, but --
(steve) dumb f*ck. and another thing pal. (leans in) if you ever call me a bandwagon fan again, I will beat the sh*t out of you.
(drunk guy) (in shock)
Its at this point, that the two girls with this guy, plus his buddy, step in and "escort" him up the aisle to cool off. The two chicks came back and start apologizing for him, noting that "he's been drinking" and "he really doesn't like the Chiefs losing". To which I reply, OK? And I do like the Chiefs losing? And I haven't been drinking vodka since 6am? I am p*ssed, to put it mildly. I should probably note, the guy I was getting into it with was over 6 feet tall, about 270 pounds, and it wasn't a fat 270, it was a well built 270. I'm 5'10", 165, and will never be accused of having an "athletic build". Its probably good this situation got diffused ...
And I should also probably note, after he came back, all was good. He kept repeatedly apologizing for his outburst. I kept accepting his apology. But here's to hoping this "die hard Chiefs fan" restarts his 20 year streak of no-showhood next week and beyond.
* Cassel's first pass of the second half? Intercepted. Thankfully, the Bills QB was every bit as awful as Cassel yesterday, and Brandon Flowers picked him off in the end zone to save more points and keep the Chiefs within a score.
* Seriously, Matt Cassel is Shining Example Numero Uno of why you don't tear up an existing "contract" with a player, and sign him to a long term deal, until you're damned sure what you have in him. Had Pioli simply had Cassel play under the terms of his Franchise Tag, we could cut the cord after this season and pursue other alternatives. You know, alternatives that actually perform at an acceptable level. Or, if you still believed in Cassel, you could resign him, but at a much lower price tag. Instead? Our brain trust gives Cassel a 6 year, $63 million contract before he's even played a preseason down as a Chief. Let's just say, on the long list of things that didn't go right in 2009, Cassel's long term deal is going to be near the top.
* After the Bills tack on a field goal to make it 13-3, Todd Haley finally realizes "hey! My QB can't throw worth a damn, we're facing the 31st ranked run defense ... I know! Let's run the ball!" 75 untouched yards later, Jamaal Charles gave the Chiefs faithful their only highlight of the game. For the first time in section 132, this hot as hell recapper began to believe we could steal this game.
* After exchanging a pair of three and outs ... Cassel drops back to pass. You guessed it. Interception, this one by Paul Posluszny. Yeah, Cassel's now getting picked off by guys who've missed 70% of their career by being on IR. Good God. The Bills quickly tack on a field goal, to make it 16-10.
* The Chiefs actually challenged whether Posluszny was actually down by contact, or if he fumbled the interception at the end of his return. I will not rip that challenge. I personally thought he was down, but it was close. One of those plays where whatever the original ruling was, was probably going to stand. At that point, down three, and committing a potentially game-cripping turnover midway through the fourth quarter, I'm fine with that challenge. I'm just grateful nothing shady happened the next six minutes though -- because of the retarded challenge in the first half, we didn't have any left to use.
* Chiefs take over after the Bills field goal, and slowly begin to drive the field. And here's where not taking the points in the first quarter bites you in the ass. (Note: why is it that every Todd Haley decision winds up coming back to bite us in the ass? Just once, can this guy do something right? Just once? Please? As much as this might shock you, I really don't want to hate our head coach. Anyways, where was I. Oh yeah, retarded decision to not kick the field goal).
If you'd taken the gimme field goal, its 16-13 Buffalo at this point, and you're driving to tie. The Chiefs actually got to the Bills 20 with about 2:30 to go. Instead of the fourth down pass that got picked off, you'd have Succup coming on to tie the game. (Of course, had Chambers held onto the 3rd down pass, you'd be going for the lead. But with that first quarter field goal, you'd be playing to get up 4 and force the Bills to score a touchdown to beat you, instead of getting up 1 and the Bills only needing a field goal).
The way both defenses were playing (and more specifically, the way both offenses were playing), at that point, you're all but guaranteed overtime. Instead, the Bills get the pick, force the Chiefs to burn through their timeouts, and all but end the game. The Chiefs did get the ball back one last time, still down 16-10, at their own 20 with a minute to go. But too much yardage to cover, not enough time to get there, and Cassel's desperation final toss was picked in the end zone. Bills 16, Chiefs 10. (Amazingly enough, my exact predicted final score on Friday. Wow).
* Postgame, its off to the bus. We didn't stick around for long. After the new tailgating neighbors ducked out with their bus after about half an hour, it was off for home, to cope with the fact that once again, incompetent coaching has cost the Chiefs a victory.
* I can't stress this enough. There is zero reason why the Chiefs should not be 6-7 and a game out of the playoffs right now. None. Now, I'm willing to be realistic here. Even if we were 6-7 and on the fringes of wildcard contention, the odds of the Chiefs winning out to get in at 9-7 would be slim and none, and none would open as a 15 point favorite.
But at least we'd be in the discussion. At least we'd be playing meaningful football in December for the first time since 2006. And as 2006 showed us, anything can happen if you take advantage of the opportunities in front of you.
Todd Haley's Chiefs have been in positions to win. Unfortunately, he always seems to do the exact opposite of what would have meant success when those positions presented themselves to him --
* The idiocy of calling the screen pass just before the half against oakland that cost us three points (the eventual margin of victory for the raiders) when the receiver was tackled in bounds (and the Chiefs had no timeouts to stop the clock with, because -- and I know you're not going to believe this -- Haley burned a timeout when facing a 4th and 2 decision midway through the first quarter).
* The failure to move a safety over for support for Leggett, either in the fourth quarter or overtime, of the loss to Dallas. (Or better yet, given our injury situation that day, scrap the corner man coverage altogether in that spot, play cover three, and at least prevent the only thing Dallas did all day that worked, the 60 yard bombs to Miles Austin).
* The idiocy of going for it on 4th and 1 at your own 35 on the opening drive of the game against San Diego that opened the floodgates to a rout.
* The stupidity of faking a punt at your own 25 when you're only down a score with 28 minutes to go, that led to a 20 unanswered donkeys points that turned a tight competitive game into an ass kicking.
* And now yesterday, not taking the gimme points in the first quarter, instead opting to call a ridiculous quarterback bootleg with no pass outlet if things break down. Instead of having a shot to win in overtime, the Chiefs lost for the 17th time in the last 19 games that count at Arrowhead because of more bone-headed decision making from both the head coach and his general on the field. (I do not think that it's a coincidence, that the two most brain challenged members on this squad are the head coach and the QB, and we've lost 10 of 13 games. Not a coincidence at all).
Bad teams tend to be bad because ... well, because the talent base just isn't there. Either the team has embraced a rebuild, or they're in denial about the need for a rebuild, but either way, the talent isn't there.
(Or they completely screw up the rebuild through year after year of incompetent drafting decisions, bad free agent signings, and horrible coaching hires. Like the 2009 Chiefs).
Nobody is suggesting the 2009 Chiefs should be challenging for the Lombardi Trophy. The talent level simply isn't there to contend week in, week out with the best of the best.
But I am saying that they should be at least three games better in the standings than they are. The reason why we are an also-ran yet again, as opposed to being in the mix of 7 teams within a game of the final wildcard spot, is because the Chiefs screw up the routine more than any other team I've ever seen.
99 coaches out of 100 instinctively know the right thing to do in a situation. So long as you've got one of those 99 calling the shots for you, you've got a chance. Even the worst of the 99 at least handles the routine correctly. Its when you get the 1 out of 100 that you're FUBAR'd.
Todd Haley is definitely in the category of 1. Until and unless Chiefs management recognizes this and pulls the plug, there's no reason for hope or optimism about this team. They will continue to lose in jaw-dropping fashion. They will continue to find ways to get embarrassed by the contenders, and humiliate themselves against the pretenders. They will continue to praise their practices, and continue to embarrass themselves on the turf on gameday. "You are what you are". The 2009 Chiefs are the worst coached team Chiefs team in at least 21 years. They are a freaking embarrassment to themselves, to the city, to the history of this franchise.
Worst of all, they're the single worst thing a professional team can be -- absolutely unbearable to watch.
(Bring on the Browns in a matchup of the two worst head coaches in the league! Holy crap, common sense might be set back 55 years on Sunday when these two intellectual "giants" lock wits on the field ...)
Showing posts with label 2009 season. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2009 season. Show all posts
Monday, December 14, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
the voice of reason checks in
My picks are so awful, its time to pull the plug.
But ... Bills (pick) 16, at Chiefs 10.
Meanwhile, the "Voice of Reason" finally checked in this week for a lively back-and-forth debate about Sunday's debacle against the donkeys. Enjoy!
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* from Monday's Chiefs / donkeys recap:
Gregg, the ex-roommate, has yet to comment. I sent the "todd must go cut the cord" text that every other time gets a "you overreact / he's not that bad / give him time" response. No response this time. (Congratulations, Todd! You've managed to f*ck up so spectacularly that my voice of reason cannot disagree with what I am saying about you! You definitely get a Tommy Point for that one.)
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gg: Here's my reaction. Do I agree with that play call? No. But to say it's the worst play call in franchise is an overreaction. The play was about 2 inches away from working. The receiver was wide, WIDE open with plenty of running room. Had Croyle put a little more air under the ball, it would have been a huge play. The Chiefs did a pretty good job of faking that the play was going to the right, when it really was designed to go to the left. According to Brent, they Chiefs line also did a pretty good job of "hiding" Croyle and that Denver probably didn't know he was in the game or at least lined up as the punter. Keep in mind that Colquitt was in the game, but shifted to a wide out. Having the snapper be eligible was pretty genius actually which helped with the fake. My biggest problem was not the play call itself, but doing it while it was still an 8 point game. I would have been better with that call had it been a 2 possession game and we "needed" to make something happen.
I was far more upset about having first and goal at the 1 and not running it up the middle 4 straight times. Also, the second time we had first and goal (at the 5, I believe) we again lost 3 yards on first down. If we could just find a way to eliminate negative yardage plays in these situations, we'd be a lot better off.
I maintain that had Bobby Wade not dropped that TD pass on our first possession, it would have been a totally different game. Bobby Wade pi$$ed me off far more in this game than Todd Haley did. Haley was just trying to make something happen. Wade was causing stuff not to happen.
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sk: I could not agree with you more on the 1st and goal at the 1. Other than the short yardage stuff, I'm ok with Haley's play calling for the most part. The short yardage stuff is driving me insane, but the INTs in the third quarter, those weren't bad play calls. It was a combo of good defense (the 2nd INT) and a horrible throw (the 1st INT) after one of the worst throws I've ever seen in my life (the 15 yard overshoot of Chambers when he was wide open in the zone coverage. Seriously, even I could have thrown a better ball in that spot, and I've been accused of throwing like a girl from time to time). Cassel had nothing on Sunday. You can't blame Haley for that. He doesn't make the throws, and you can't exactly run the ball every down when you're down 20 and your RB can't hold onto the football.
I completely agree on Wade's drop. He effing QUIT on that play. He completely "Tito Beltran'd" it. I know I've torn into Haley for his "lack of professionalism on the sideline", but good for Todd for trying to tear Bobby "Beltran" Wade a new one. That was one time when his "lack of self control" was completely justified. (If that had been me, I might have gone Buddy Ryan on him and decked him).
The thing with the fake punt that so angered me is that it ignored every element of common sense. You can argue its stupid for one of four reasons:
a. too deep in your own territory to try something like that (28 yard line). If you fail, you're conceding 3 at the very least.
b. too far to gain (7 yards). If you're going to "go for it", you're better off putting Cassel in the gun, going 4 wide with Charles as the safety valve, and run a couple 8 yard out patterns and a fly route with Chambers, and try to make something happen, than you are to catch the donkeys special teams napping.
c. too much time left in the game. 28 minutes is an eternity to play, especially since
d. it was only a one score game. Too close at that point to try something like that.
And after reading an article in the Star on the play, I'd throw in a 5th reason why it was stupid:
e. Haley didn't suggest it. ST coach Steve Hoffman did.
I was angry when I thought Haley ordered the play (based on his postgame comments, I was led to believe he did). After hearing it was Hoffman's idea, I was even angrier. This is why you're a head coach, Todd. To consider ALL the ramifications of your decisions, not just to consider the effect to the offense. Your job is to coach the game for all 60 minutes, not the 60 seconds in front of you at that moment in time.
Did Todd consider the deflation of the crowd if you don't get it? Every damned person in that stadium knew after the try failed that we'd lost. Everyone knew it. It completely took the crowd out of the game. It also put the defense in an awful spot, set up to fail. It also basically told the offense "I don't think you're good enough to move the ball without gimicks and trickery and special teams assisstance". (On this point, to be fair ... Haley has a valid argument).
I obviously believe Todd Haley should be fired. But -- but -- if Pioli sits him down, points out the obvious mistakes Todd's made, and gets him a competent quality control / assistant head coach to inject some common sense into him when he's faced with moments like the fake punt, I can probably hold my nose and live through year two. Even the best coaches need a voice of reason on the sideline or in the booth to talk them off the cliff from time to time. Haley needs one 24/7/365 apparently.
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gg: I guess my main reason for not being overly upset about the fake punt is
that is was close....VERY close to working. Literally 2 inches close to
working. Had that play hit, it would have completely changed the momentum
of the game the other way. It was a gamble that obviously didn't pay off,
but it was very close. I firmly believe that it did have denver fooled and
had Croyle put just a tad more air under the ball it would have hit big.
I also believe the Chiefs lack of quality coaching has to do with getting a
late start on the coach hiring season last February. By the time they hired
Haley, all of the quality assistants had found new homes, so they were left
with Arizona scraps and people who couldn't find a job elsewhere in the
league. I think we have both a new OC and DC next year....and with any
luck, their names will be Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis.
---------------------
sk: I'll agree that we were "late to the party" on coaches. It definitely screwed us this season. I think firing Gailey when we did was a mistake, but a justifiable one. If the HC and OC don't see eye to eye, its best to pull the plug and move on ASAFP. Having said that, after seeing Gailey make the proverbial chicken salad out of chicken sh*t last year, I think Gailey would have been worth two more wins at this point -- I believe we beat oakland here, and we beat Dallas here, with Gailey calling things. On the other hand, I think Haley's playcalling stole us at least one game we wouldn't have won (Pittsburgh) with Gailey at the helm, and it kept us in another one (Baltimore) that Gailey would have lost 37-14. So its basically a wash, not much difference between 3-9 and 4-8, except three spots in the draft.
On defense, I'm ok with the overall scheme, and clearly Pendergast has at least brought back somewhat of an attack mentality to the front seven (especially with Hali), but there's still too many lapses of fundamentals. Quite honestly, I agree with your pegging Crennel, and my question at this point is, why are we not bringing him in in the Sherm Lewis "consultant" role at this point for the final four games? He's not doing anything other than collecting his severance. I know he had knee surgery and that's why he didn't want to do the job in March, but why not now? You mean you can't stick him up in the box and let him oversee things and add some insight?
(I'd say the same thing regarding Weis ... only I don't think Weis is coming here. Gut feeling. But if Weis is who you want, again, why not "invite him in for a look"? That's what Lamar did with some former GM known as Carl Peterson 22 years ago, that seemed to go well ...)
Special teams, there's not much you can b*tch about. Steve Hoffman is definitely the MVP of this coaching staff. Coverage has gone from atrocious to respectable, especially on kickoffs. Charles has done a good job returning kicks. Succup is automatic. Dusty C is probably the third best punter in the division ... and the conference. No shame in being behind lechler and Scifres. No need to change anything there.
This team is better in many ways than it was last year at this time. The defense as a whole is better, but certain positions (S, ILB) are worse. The offense is stagnant -- its better at QB, its far worse at RB (can't hope for a LJ recovery anymore and Charles is NOT the answer), and about the same on OL. The special teams are vastly improved. Its a rebuild. I get that. The key now is to draft well, get some quality assistants to coach these guys up, and let an easier schedule (trading the NFC East for NFC West, drawing two last place teams in the non-set opponents) hopefully guide you to the fringes of wildcard contention (aka 5-7, 6-6 entering December).
The frustrating thing is, that's where we'd be had we held on against oakland and Dallas, 5-7, 2 games out, with at least a faint flicker of hope considering we'd be facing two winnable home games up next.
---------------------
gg: Well, it sounds like you are coming down from the ledge....at least a little
bit. As the great Wayne Allyn Root used to say, you are never as bad as you
think you are and never as good as you think you are. Overall, things are
better than they were 12 months ago. Pioli has now had 75% of a season to
view all of the players and coaches. It's time to continue to make changes
in the off season and get this team where it needs to be by 2011.
But ... Bills (pick) 16, at Chiefs 10.
Meanwhile, the "Voice of Reason" finally checked in this week for a lively back-and-forth debate about Sunday's debacle against the donkeys. Enjoy!
---------------------
* from Monday's Chiefs / donkeys recap:
Gregg, the ex-roommate, has yet to comment. I sent the "todd must go cut the cord" text that every other time gets a "you overreact / he's not that bad / give him time" response. No response this time. (Congratulations, Todd! You've managed to f*ck up so spectacularly that my voice of reason cannot disagree with what I am saying about you! You definitely get a Tommy Point for that one.)
---------------------
gg: Here's my reaction. Do I agree with that play call? No. But to say it's the worst play call in franchise is an overreaction. The play was about 2 inches away from working. The receiver was wide, WIDE open with plenty of running room. Had Croyle put a little more air under the ball, it would have been a huge play. The Chiefs did a pretty good job of faking that the play was going to the right, when it really was designed to go to the left. According to Brent, they Chiefs line also did a pretty good job of "hiding" Croyle and that Denver probably didn't know he was in the game or at least lined up as the punter. Keep in mind that Colquitt was in the game, but shifted to a wide out. Having the snapper be eligible was pretty genius actually which helped with the fake. My biggest problem was not the play call itself, but doing it while it was still an 8 point game. I would have been better with that call had it been a 2 possession game and we "needed" to make something happen.
I was far more upset about having first and goal at the 1 and not running it up the middle 4 straight times. Also, the second time we had first and goal (at the 5, I believe) we again lost 3 yards on first down. If we could just find a way to eliminate negative yardage plays in these situations, we'd be a lot better off.
I maintain that had Bobby Wade not dropped that TD pass on our first possession, it would have been a totally different game. Bobby Wade pi$$ed me off far more in this game than Todd Haley did. Haley was just trying to make something happen. Wade was causing stuff not to happen.
---------------------
sk: I could not agree with you more on the 1st and goal at the 1. Other than the short yardage stuff, I'm ok with Haley's play calling for the most part. The short yardage stuff is driving me insane, but the INTs in the third quarter, those weren't bad play calls. It was a combo of good defense (the 2nd INT) and a horrible throw (the 1st INT) after one of the worst throws I've ever seen in my life (the 15 yard overshoot of Chambers when he was wide open in the zone coverage. Seriously, even I could have thrown a better ball in that spot, and I've been accused of throwing like a girl from time to time). Cassel had nothing on Sunday. You can't blame Haley for that. He doesn't make the throws, and you can't exactly run the ball every down when you're down 20 and your RB can't hold onto the football.
I completely agree on Wade's drop. He effing QUIT on that play. He completely "Tito Beltran'd" it. I know I've torn into Haley for his "lack of professionalism on the sideline", but good for Todd for trying to tear Bobby "Beltran" Wade a new one. That was one time when his "lack of self control" was completely justified. (If that had been me, I might have gone Buddy Ryan on him and decked him).
The thing with the fake punt that so angered me is that it ignored every element of common sense. You can argue its stupid for one of four reasons:
a. too deep in your own territory to try something like that (28 yard line). If you fail, you're conceding 3 at the very least.
b. too far to gain (7 yards). If you're going to "go for it", you're better off putting Cassel in the gun, going 4 wide with Charles as the safety valve, and run a couple 8 yard out patterns and a fly route with Chambers, and try to make something happen, than you are to catch the donkeys special teams napping.
c. too much time left in the game. 28 minutes is an eternity to play, especially since
d. it was only a one score game. Too close at that point to try something like that.
And after reading an article in the Star on the play, I'd throw in a 5th reason why it was stupid:
e. Haley didn't suggest it. ST coach Steve Hoffman did.
I was angry when I thought Haley ordered the play (based on his postgame comments, I was led to believe he did). After hearing it was Hoffman's idea, I was even angrier. This is why you're a head coach, Todd. To consider ALL the ramifications of your decisions, not just to consider the effect to the offense. Your job is to coach the game for all 60 minutes, not the 60 seconds in front of you at that moment in time.
Did Todd consider the deflation of the crowd if you don't get it? Every damned person in that stadium knew after the try failed that we'd lost. Everyone knew it. It completely took the crowd out of the game. It also put the defense in an awful spot, set up to fail. It also basically told the offense "I don't think you're good enough to move the ball without gimicks and trickery and special teams assisstance". (On this point, to be fair ... Haley has a valid argument).
I obviously believe Todd Haley should be fired. But -- but -- if Pioli sits him down, points out the obvious mistakes Todd's made, and gets him a competent quality control / assistant head coach to inject some common sense into him when he's faced with moments like the fake punt, I can probably hold my nose and live through year two. Even the best coaches need a voice of reason on the sideline or in the booth to talk them off the cliff from time to time. Haley needs one 24/7/365 apparently.
---------------------
gg: I guess my main reason for not being overly upset about the fake punt is
that is was close....VERY close to working. Literally 2 inches close to
working. Had that play hit, it would have completely changed the momentum
of the game the other way. It was a gamble that obviously didn't pay off,
but it was very close. I firmly believe that it did have denver fooled and
had Croyle put just a tad more air under the ball it would have hit big.
I also believe the Chiefs lack of quality coaching has to do with getting a
late start on the coach hiring season last February. By the time they hired
Haley, all of the quality assistants had found new homes, so they were left
with Arizona scraps and people who couldn't find a job elsewhere in the
league. I think we have both a new OC and DC next year....and with any
luck, their names will be Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis.
---------------------
sk: I'll agree that we were "late to the party" on coaches. It definitely screwed us this season. I think firing Gailey when we did was a mistake, but a justifiable one. If the HC and OC don't see eye to eye, its best to pull the plug and move on ASAFP. Having said that, after seeing Gailey make the proverbial chicken salad out of chicken sh*t last year, I think Gailey would have been worth two more wins at this point -- I believe we beat oakland here, and we beat Dallas here, with Gailey calling things. On the other hand, I think Haley's playcalling stole us at least one game we wouldn't have won (Pittsburgh) with Gailey at the helm, and it kept us in another one (Baltimore) that Gailey would have lost 37-14. So its basically a wash, not much difference between 3-9 and 4-8, except three spots in the draft.
On defense, I'm ok with the overall scheme, and clearly Pendergast has at least brought back somewhat of an attack mentality to the front seven (especially with Hali), but there's still too many lapses of fundamentals. Quite honestly, I agree with your pegging Crennel, and my question at this point is, why are we not bringing him in in the Sherm Lewis "consultant" role at this point for the final four games? He's not doing anything other than collecting his severance. I know he had knee surgery and that's why he didn't want to do the job in March, but why not now? You mean you can't stick him up in the box and let him oversee things and add some insight?
(I'd say the same thing regarding Weis ... only I don't think Weis is coming here. Gut feeling. But if Weis is who you want, again, why not "invite him in for a look"? That's what Lamar did with some former GM known as Carl Peterson 22 years ago, that seemed to go well ...)
Special teams, there's not much you can b*tch about. Steve Hoffman is definitely the MVP of this coaching staff. Coverage has gone from atrocious to respectable, especially on kickoffs. Charles has done a good job returning kicks. Succup is automatic. Dusty C is probably the third best punter in the division ... and the conference. No shame in being behind lechler and Scifres. No need to change anything there.
This team is better in many ways than it was last year at this time. The defense as a whole is better, but certain positions (S, ILB) are worse. The offense is stagnant -- its better at QB, its far worse at RB (can't hope for a LJ recovery anymore and Charles is NOT the answer), and about the same on OL. The special teams are vastly improved. Its a rebuild. I get that. The key now is to draft well, get some quality assistants to coach these guys up, and let an easier schedule (trading the NFC East for NFC West, drawing two last place teams in the non-set opponents) hopefully guide you to the fringes of wildcard contention (aka 5-7, 6-6 entering December).
The frustrating thing is, that's where we'd be had we held on against oakland and Dallas, 5-7, 2 games out, with at least a faint flicker of hope considering we'd be facing two winnable home games up next.
---------------------
gg: Well, it sounds like you are coming down from the ledge....at least a little
bit. As the great Wayne Allyn Root used to say, you are never as bad as you
think you are and never as good as you think you are. Overall, things are
better than they were 12 months ago. Pioli has now had 75% of a season to
view all of the players and coaches. It's time to continue to make changes
in the off season and get this team where it needs to be by 2011.
Monday, December 7, 2009
chiefs! broncos! where the worst playcall in franchise history happens ...
After last year's Chiefs / donkeys showdown at Arrowhead, I wrote that "I don't even know where to begin, and for once, this is a good thing".
After yesterday's Chiefs / donkeys showdown at Arrowhead, I know exactly where to begin. And this is definitely not a good thing.
On the single most retarded play call I have ever witnessed.
To set the scene: its 4th and 7 at the Chiefs 28. Barely a minute has rolled off the clock to open the second half. The Chiefs trail 14-6. It is a one possession game, with 28 plus minutes to go. It is 4th and 7 at your own 28. Anyone with even an ounce of common sense punts the f*cking football. Anyone with an IQ of over 3 knows to punt the damned football.
Todd Haley, a man who will not be confused anytime soon with someone who possesses an "ounce of common sense" or "an IQ of over three", decides to fake the punt.
Only, he not just fakes the punt, because as stupid as that would have been, at least you might have caught the donkeys napping, something screwy might have happened, maybe someone decks Dusty C and you get a personal foul, at least a legitimate fake punt you can find some semblance of a justification for.
But to trot the backup QB out there and line him up as the punter? You have to be mentally retarded to not know what's coming next. The denver broncos are a lot of things, but they are not mentally retarded. They are a smart, disciplined, well coached football team.
The Chiefs, on the other hand, are none of those things.
As soon as they snapped it to Croyle, the ballgame was over. Not even remotely surprisingly, the donkeys maintained their lanes, batted the pass down (and there wasn't a Chiefs player with 20 feet of where the pass was headed anyways), and opened the floodgates. Three turnovers and 20 points later, I left at 34-6, with still 2 plus minutes left in the quarter.
I stood incredulous as the fake punt unfolded. I then stood in rage for 20 minutes afterwards, just glaring at the Chiefs sideline as the game fell apart, wishing to God there was some way to grab a sledgehammer and beat Todd Haley HHH style. Including chucking him through the Spanish announcing table.
For me, this experiment is over. I'm through with Todd Haley. He's dead to me. He flunked the only meaningful test of his rookie season -- he got embarrassed at home by my most hated franchise. And not just embarrassed -- he was exposed to the world yesterday for everything I believed him to be. A sh*tty ass head coach that's in over his head, hated by his players, inept at every single aspect of the game. After yesterday, there is no way, absolutely no way, anyone with a basic understanding of football can justify Todd Haley's continued employment beyond January 4, 2010. There is no way that can be done.
Its over. Pull the plug. ASAFP!!!
This was the equivalent of Marty Mornhinweg taking the wind instead of the ball to open overtime. This was the equivalent of the Vikings failing to turn in the draft card on time for two consecutive picks. This was the equivalent of the Miracle at the Meadowlands in terms of playcalling stupidity.
This was the single most retarded decision I have ever seen someone make.
Let's do this, I'll have more on the play below, because I'm not even close to being done raging about this. Especially given how Coach Asshat actually DEFENDED his decision in his postgame comments. I swear, when I heard his remarks, I wanted to cry. I've never been so angry to be a fan of a team as I am this morning. Past losses to denver I could cope with, because at least we had hope for the future. As long as Todd Haley is calling the shots, the Chiefs have NO shot of on-field success. None. This is as good as it gets for us with Coach Asshat at the helm. Getting tripled up at home. Allowing 40 plus to two divisional opponents in back-to-back weeks. (Side note: prior to yesterday, no Chiefs team in history had allowed 40 points in back-to-back games. Not even the "32 Defense" from 2002 accomplished that feat. Todd Haley's done more damage to this team in 12 weeks than even I imagined was possible. And I'm not exactly a Todd Haley fan).
* Should have known this would be a bad day based on how Nebraska / Texas ended the night before. For what its worth, the replay officials got it right, there should have been a second left on the clock. It still doesn't make it any easier to swallow though.
* I was wide awake at 3:30am. I was ready for this one. Too bad the Chiefs head coach wasn't.
* Arrived at the buses around 6am. You know I'm ready for a game when, despite the freezing cold, despite the threat of snow, and despite my stated hatred of said cold and snow, I arrived before half the other tailgaters were even awake.
* Solid crew yesterday. Two fairly packed buses. Menu was soups and chilis, with plenty of liquid and jello refreshment. I have to be honest -- at this point, the only reason I keep showing up is (a) the tickets are a sunken cost, and (b) the tailgating. There's no other reason to step foot on the grounds at One Arrowhead Drive. None. Unless you can facilitate my dream of going HHH on Coach Asshat through the Spanish announcing table. That's a valid reason too.
* The really nice new tailgating neighbors we met last home game, the ones who'd bought a short bus to turn into a tailgating dream, have made significant progress on said dream. The sides are all painted white, and they've got the Chiefs logos and emblems up. Its looking good, slowly yet surely.
* Funniest moment of tailgating: has to be when our neighbors across the way stumble in carrying a huge bottle of Cuervo and start offering shots to people. Turns out the guy's name is Castro. Poor guy. Most folks of Hispanic descent really wouldn't want to be stuck with the name "Castro", I would think. (The way he said it, I'm guessing he's not thrilled with his folks name choice at all).
* Worst moment of tailgating: as Monty's pulling the ambulance onto the grass, the beer tap split in two. Thankfully, enough was left on the tap to still enjoy the beer, but that definitely sucked.
* There were a ton of donkeys fans there yesterday. I had at least 15 of them in a 5 row vicinity around me. Including two right next to me in the seats that almost never get used. I guess I should be thankful to Coach Asshat for one thing -- his play call for the fake punt so enraged me, that I didn't even notice how obnoxious the donkeys fans got as that third quarter went along until I was leaving the stadium.
* The KC Wolf opening sketch was atrocious. I actually felt bad for the guy playing the sacrificial donkey. He had a look on his face for most of the pre-taped video that was a cross between "call my agent and CONFIRM I am getting paid to appear in this sh*tfest" and "please dear God, don't let anyone I know see me act in this sketch". In his defense, I would have been thinking the exact same two things.
* No flyover yesterday. Finally, someone looking out for the taxpayer's best interests.
(And please note: I am not anti-military, I'm not an isolationist, and I'm anything but an anti-war dove. But I am anti-flyover, because they are a complete waste of the taxpayer's money. We have far more pressing social concerns to be spending that money on than gassing up a few instruments of war to accommodate a worthless pregame show that nobody is going to remember 30 minutes after the fact anyways. I know I'm right about this.)
* The chick doing the national anthem was decent. Whitney something or other. If the singing career doesn't work out (and according to her Wikipedia page, its not), she should have her agent get Vivid Entertainment or Wicked Pictures on the line, she's attractive enough to be at least the third chick in a scene for one of those fine production companies.
* Chiefs won the toss, and chose to defer. It figures, the smartest decision anyone on our sideline made all day, and it was done on a coin toss. Oy.
* donkeys first drive was pretty impressive. Marched it a solid 65 yards in about 3 minutes. Then, kyle orton drops back to pass, and I still have no idea who or what he was looking at. It was into my end zone, and I didn't see anyone in white in the middle of the end zone where he was throwing. Demarrio Williams deflected the pass, and Mike Brown picked it off. Sadly, that was the highlight of the day, and there was still 55 plus minutes of craptacular football left to go.
* The Chiefs could do nothing after a turnover yesterday.
* Chiefs first drive after that interception, Cassel drops back on 3rd and about 5 and airs it out. It was a decently thrown ball that a wide open Bobby Wade should have caught, I thought. Only Wade didn't sell out to make the catch, he simply stuck his right arm out and hoped the ball would fall in. It went off his right hand. If he'd doved for the reception, odds are he gets it. He didn't even try. I'm telling you, this team has quit on Todd Haley. You could see it all day long yesterday, the subtle hints that the players just don't give a sh*t, they're so tired of being constantly berated by an idiot that they're just doing what they damned well want to. Even if that means half assing a pass right off the bat.
* After the play, Haley (for once, justifiably) lost his temper and ripped into Bobby Wade on the sidelines. Wade chose not to stand there and take it. He started screaming back. A player half assing it on the field is now screaming at a coach asking him why he's loafing like Carlos Beltran back in the day. Its imploding folks. Its all coming down in front of our eyes. And there's still a month left to go ...
* Seriously, do you think Carl ever watches a Chiefs game and just spends the entire three hours laughing his ass off? He took over a team in far worse shape than this one was, and between some shrewd Plan B signings, some tremendous drafting, and rock solid coaching, had the team a missed field goal at Cleveland away from the playoffs. In season one. I don't think Scott Pioli and Todd Haley could find a way to reach the playoffs if you gave them a Garmin and fronted them the tickets.
* The second denver possession, orton just tore the secondary to shreds. Four completions, plus a face mask penalty, and then orton found the endzone, I believe this was the graham TD. 7-0 donkeys.
* The Chiefs take the field, now trailing 7-0 and it probably should have been worse than that. And proceed to put on one of the greatest, old school drives you will ever see. On second thought, this might have been the highlight of the game. A 20 play drive that eats up nearly 9 minutes off the clock. Just a bunch of 3, 4, 5 yard Charles runs, 5-6 yard screen passes and out patterns, a calm, methodical drive down the field that had the Chiefs facing first and goal at the denver 1 yard line as the first quarter ended. In the west end zone, this hot as hell 32 year old was getting excited. It was set up, Chiefs punch it in over the next few plays, tie the game, get some momentum back ...
* and to noone's surprise, Todd Haley chooses three horrendous play calls from the goalline. First, a pitch left to Charles. Why in God's name would you call a pitch at the goalline? Pound the damned ball up the middle, four times in a row if you have to. Just fall forward. Whatever you do, don't go laterally because that's the ONLY way you can lose yardage (other than via penalty)! Charles loses 3. On second and goal, rather than giving it to Charles or (the surprisingly effective yesterday) Leonard Pope up the middle ... Haley puts Cassel in the shotgun, pass incomplete to Lance Long. Why in God's name would you call a SHOTGUN FORMATION on goal to go inside the 5? Why? Now, its third down. At this point a pass makes sense, but you could still catch denver offguard with a draw here (earlier on the drive, on 3rd and 7 at the denver 11, we'd called a draw to Charles, who gained 10 on the play to set up the goal to go. Cassel was under center on that play, so the defense had to play both run and pass, and didn't play either very effectively on that down, as Charles had a huge hole to plow through ... right up the middle). Now, on 3rd and 4 at the 4, Cassel again is in the shotgun, and this pass isn't even close to being complete.
Let's run through this one more time. Goal to go at the one. You're already 16 plays into the drive, you've had denver's defense on the field for 8 minutes and counting. Anyone with an ounce of football intelligence pounds it up the middle, four times if needed. Instead, Coach Asshat goes pitch left, shotgun incomplete, shotgun incomplete. A drive that should have ended 99% of the time with a Chiefs touchdown, had a power formation and straight ahead run been called ... instead ends in three baffling play calls and a field goal. This was as close as the Chiefs would come all day to catching denver.
Here's a hint, Todd. You don't get cute at the goalline. This isn't your girlfriend modeling her latest purchase from Victoria's Secret for you. That's where cute counts. Cute doesn't count on a football field. Victory is what counts there. You get victory by using common sense in how you attack the enemy. Nothing you did in this goal to go sequence passes the common sense test. Or helps you win yesterday. But it sure as hell contributed to yet another defeat on your resume.
* the teams exchange punts, before denver gets the ball back about midway through the quarter. And its at this point, that denver coach (and offensive play caller) josh mcdaniels changes direction. For most of the first 22 minutes, the donkeys have had more success in the air. To compensate, the Chiefs are starting to drop back off the line, play more nickel coverage, even on first down, and are dropping the linebackers into coverage a lot more than usual. mcdaniels sees this on the previous drive (where denver punted) and immediately adjusts the gameplan to pound the football. Seven plays and 80 yards later (only one play and 14 yards of which weren't running plays), denver's in the end zone again, knowshon moreno offtackle on 2nd and goal. (Note: denver got 1st and goal I believe at the Chiefs 4. They ran it offtackle with moreno twice, and scored. Take notes, Todd. You don't get cute at the goalline. You pound it down the opponent's throat.)
God bless it, I hate it that Pioli screwed the coaching hire. Why didn't Pioli hire mcdaniels? He knew josh better than any other GM looking for a coach. What's your excuse, Scott? What's your f*cking excuse for botching the first major decision with the Chiefs and setting the rebuild back another two years as a result if you don't fire him after this season? (And setting it back one year no matter what happens come January 4th).
Again, don't tell me coaching doesn't matter. It does in the NFL. denver has a tremendous head coach that'll be kicking our ass like a government mule for the next decade. We've got ... we've got an asshat who's too stupid to pound the ball at the one yard line. Excuse me while I go bash my head into the wall while having the irritating "in ... com ... plete! wa wa wa wa!!!" chant screamed in both my ears ...
* The teams then engage in a thrilling three-and-out festival, about 5 or 6 straight drives of neither side being able to do anything. Mostly due to inept quarterback play. Especially by Cassel. Who, when his receivers weren't half assing it and dropping passes, was overshooting his receivers with alarming inaccuracy. He had a throw in the third quarter, the drive after the fake punt, where he rolled out and had a wide open Chris Chambers 15 yards downfield. Cassel overshot Chambers by 20 yards. It was pathetic. Also, at one point yesterday, his QB rating hit a 3.2. 3.2! I believe you get a 42 just for doing nothing other than taking a snap. Holy Lord, he was awful yesterday.
* Then, the donkeys start driving. They get to midfield, and have a 3rd down play upcoming. Still about 1:45 to go in the half. Already up 14-3, if they punch this in, this game is all but over. Tamba Hali comes around the end, orton feels the pressure, panics, and moves up into the pocket instead of scrambling. Bad mistake. Hali nails him, knocks the ball out, and the Chiefs recover the fumble. Toss in a holding call by denver to boot, and the Chiefs are in business at midfield, with all three timeouts left.
This could have been a HUGE swing in momentum. If the Chiefs can score here, even just a field goal, they pull within a score at the half, and they get the ball, coming off what promised to be one of the most emotional halftimes ever in that stadium. Like so many times yesterday, the opportunity to get back in the game or really deliver a blow to denver was there.
The Chiefs did score ... although the clock management and (especially) the play call on 3rd down was atrocious. First down, Cassel gets off a short pass to Pope, who breaks a couple tackles to gain 11. Timeout Chiefs. That timeout, I was ok with. Pope was the safety valve, the play was designed to go downfield. You'd have to waste 20 seconds on the play clock getting everybody back, plus substitutions, no sense risking a stupid delay of game or false start penalty at that point, since you're pushing field goal range for Succup. (I believe we were at the 38 yard line).
Next play, protection breaks down, Cassel manages to get four yards and get out of bounds. Again, no complaints. He had to take off to avoid the rush, and he got out of bounds without losing yardage. Second down, short pass over the middle to Chambers sets up a third and a short one. Timeout Chiefs.
THIS timeout I had an issue with. This wasn't a downfield pass like the one that started the drive. Nobody went more than 7-8 yards downfield. Get back, bring in the power formation (its now 3rd and 1) and pound the f*cking football to get the first down, THEN call the timeout. You also have to consider that denver's moved the ball fairly well all day, you don't want to leave them too much time on the clock, especially since eddie royal is more than capable of returning the kick to midfield and beyond.
3rd and 1, more "cuteness" from Haley. Cassel in the shotgun. Incomplete. Now, its decision time. The wind yesterday was brutal. It was swirling in my end zone (which is where the field goal try would occur). At first Succup trots out, and then Haley has second thoughts, because the Chiefs burn their final timeout.
But as Paul Maguire would say, "let's go back to that previous play!" Why in the hell are you calling a shotgun formation on 3rd and 1, when (a) you only need about half a yard for the first down, and (b) the wind situation made ANY field goal try a crapshoot at best? Plus you still had a timeout left to stop the clock after the pickup!
Does ANYTHING even remotely sounding like this ever pass through Todd Haley's head? I'd be curious to know exactly what he was thinking in that spot. A power formation run, either up the middle or offtackle, is going to get you the first down 75% of the time, if not even higher. If you don't get the first, you aren't going to lose yardage, and then you can still try the field goal on 4th down. Sometimes its called an "obvious playcall" because it's "obvious" to everyone what the right thing to do is. Again, cute is wonderful when it involves a member of the opposite sex. Cute on the football field gets you fired. (Or at least it should in Todd Haley's case).
Then, more infuriating antics, at least to me. During the timeout, Haley and Cassel didn't even communicate. (brian griffin voice) what the hell? I stood and watched the sideline during this timeout. Haley didn't say one word to his quarterback. If the whole point of calling the timeout is to decide whether to try a dicey kick, or go for the first down, shouldn't the starting quarterback's input be heard? If anyone knows what the situation calls for, isn't it your field general? Again, its a small thing that's probably unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but it just illustrates to me yet again that Todd Haley has no clue what he is doing.
Haley opts to kick. The kick is good. Barely. This new regime's screwed up a lot in year one, but they nailed this draft pick. We haven't had a reliable place kicker with 35 plus yard range since Stoyanovich in the late 90s. (I know Morten Anderson was reliable, hence the "35 plus yard range" comment).
* So we're at the half. 14-6 denver. The moment everyone's been waiting for, the most hyped halftime event in franchise history, is upon us. The retirement of number 58.
As a stand alone event, it was very nice. I thought it was well-organized and well-planned. It seemed to be well-received by most of the fans. I liked seeing a lot of DT's former beloved teammates get some recognition -- Dan Saleaumua, Neil Smith, Tracy Simien, Kevin Ross. The guys who formed the core of the team that won a city's heart 20 years ago. It was wonderful to see Marty Schottenheimer, and I loved the huge, I mean huge, standing ovation he got. Seriously, that was the loudest Arrowhead got yesterday, was the prolongued applause for Marty. Good.
I also thought it was tremendously classy (and those are two words I do not often associate with the denver broncos or their fans, "tremendously" and "classy"), I thought it was tremendously classy that pretty much every denver fan in the stadium stood and applauded the honor of DT. As someone who toasted the demise of Barrel Man on Saturday night, I know I don't have the class their fans did yesterday.
(Although having said that ... rest in peace, Barrel Man. I may have hated you and I will always hate the team you rooted for, but you make every game for forty plus years, in the cold most of the time, while wearing just a barrel? And leaving your mark as one of the most recognizable fan symbols in the country? You got my respect. You'll be missed.)
Having said all that, again, nice respectful ceremony, appropriately done ... it was missing something. I don't know what exactly, but it just didn't feel right. For starters, I felt bad for his kids. I love DT, but the way he lived his life off the field is nothing to be respected. Anyone can make a mistake once. But seven times by five different women? To me, the kids being out there had to happen, but it kind of put a downer on the deal. A visual reminder that DT's greatness on the field was matched, if not topped, by his reckless stupidity off of it.
Plus, where was Carl? I don't care what issues Chiefs fans had with him by the end, the bottom line is that Carl's first major decision as our GM was to hire Marty. (Good start). His second major decision was to spend a top five draft pick on Derrick Thomas. (Even better). I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that Scott Pioli hiring Todd Haley and drafting Tyson Jackson isn't going to have the same impact on this team that Marty and Derrick did. (Well, it might, except in the exact opposite direction). Carl did a wonderful job presenting DT for induction. I think he should have been on the field yesterday to see the number retired.
And I know this is a nit picking point ... but where was Commissioner Goodell? I get that the Chiefs suck, and a December blowout victory by the visiting team isn't high on his priorities list, but wouldn't a number retirement for a Hall of Famer who was just inducted earlier this year at least show up on his radar somewhere? Even if it was a quick "fly in Sunday morning and leave at halftime" appearance, I think the Commish should have been there.
Also ... why was the ceremony so short? There were still 8 minutes left in the halftime when the thing was done. Why not have Saleaumua or Neil Smith or Marty speak? I know they did some pre-taped bits that aired during timeouts, but what's the harm in turning Neil Smith loose on the mic when you've got 5 minutes to spare?
All in all, again, a very nice, respectful gesture by the Chiefs, the Hall of Fame, the Thomas family, and his former teammates and coaches. But something was missing.
* Chiefs get the ball to open the second half. After a couple incompletions, its 4th down and 7. Cue the fake punt. Let's examine this fateful play a little bit more, ok?
Here's what the Star had to write: "Haley's decision-making again was questionable, underscored by a series of trick plays and an attempt to convert a fourth down, when Croyle lined up as the Chiefs punter, took the snap and, under pressure from the clearly unsurprised broncos, threw the ball into the turf."
(Note: when the freaking Kansas City Star, who at last check still employ Lewis Diuguid and Mary Sanchez, two folks who see racism in just ordering a cheeseburger, when the Star is calling your decision making "questionable", I think that's saying something.)
Here's what Brodie Croyle, who hadn't been asked to punt since high school, had to say about the worst playcall in franchise history: "We were hoping to catch them off guard. I think we did."
(Note: that only further enrages me. "I think we did". No, Brodie, you didn't. You didn't fool one damned person in that stadium. Most of all the 11 guys wearing white on that play, you definitely didn't catch them "off guard".)
Here's what Todd Haley, who isn't capable of coaching a high school team at this point, had to say about the worst playcall in franchise history: "We felt good, obviously, to call it (the play). The nature of the play made it something we had to do in our own end where they didn't have any chance to be in any kind of safe punt return or coverage."
And then, rather than admit the obvious (that it was a horrendous decision that completely opened the floodgates to a denver victory), Todd Haley did what he does best: he threw his troops under the bus. "We missed a block. We turned a guy free that should have been blocked. Then we've got to execute the play. The ball was knocked down. Who the ball was going to, it appeared to me he was open for a very big play".
The Star's next paragraph, again, in a rare voice of reason moment for that publication: "Gafford was indeed uncovered, but the ball never had a chance to get to him. (broncos player richard) quinn was not fooled".
So let's see here. You trot out the backup QB to ostensibly punt the ball. The donkeys defenders, not even remotely fooled or bamboozled by what is going to happen, simply shift tactics and hold their blocks rather than rush the "punter". By holding their blocks, the receiver for the play (the snapper) can't get open, because he has to block. There is no fallback option, no contingency plan. Its all or nothing. By simply noting "hey, that's a QB back there, not the punter. Whatdya bet something fishy is about to happen", the donkeys special teams turned the game from a tight, competitive contest, into an ass kicking of Biblical proportions.
And all our coach can say about it, his reaction to the brain fart of the century, is to (a) toss his players under the bus, (b) claim that it worked in practice, and (c) attempt to avoid all responsibility for his game-changing decision. In the words of the great Verne Lundquist, "wonderful!"
But don't just take my word for it! Plenty of folks were angry, stunned, or laughing hysterically over this abject stupidity of this playcall. The donkeys fans next to me turned and asked "is your coach really this stupid?" (Yes. Yes he is.) Greg, the guy who sits in front of me, simply turned around with a "what the f*ck just happened" look of abject horror. The curly haired guy two rows in front of me turned around with the same "what the f*ck just happened" look, only this one was of a "this is so stupid you can't help but laugh" variety.
Gregg, the ex-roommate, has yet to comment. I sent the "todd must go cut the cord" text that every other time gets a "you overreact / he's not that bad / give him time" response. No response this time. (Congratulations, Todd! You've managed to f*ck up so spectacularly that my voice of reason cannot disagree with what I am saying about you! You definitely get a Tommy Point for that one.)
But don't just take it from section 132. I asked a fellow STH over in 136 his thoughts. Dusty's reply: "I wasn't cold anymore after that play. My blood was boiling." And this too, "I don't care who you are, that's a fireable offense. That's a fireable offense". (Take it from me folks, as p*ssed off as I was after that game yesterday, and especially over this play, I had nothing on Dusty J yesterday. Keep reading ...)
* I should have left after that play. Instead, I spent the next 20 some odd minutes just staring in rage at the Chiefs sideline. Ask anyone sitting by me. I didn't talk, I didn't move. I just stood there, arms folded, with a look of sheer rage, staring at the retard in the black shirt walking our sideline. The Chiefs D held denver to a field goal after the turnover on downs to go up 17-6, but the damage was done. Nobody supporting the Chiefs, at that point, had even an ounce of confidence in the team to win. And we were right.
Cassel intercepted on the second play after the field goal. A horrendous pass. Returned to the Chiefs 20. A couple plays later, touchdown denver, I believe this was marshall's catch. Its now 24-6 and we're just getting started. Cassel again intercepted on another horrendous pass. The donkeys kick a field goal. 27-6, and we're just getting warmed up. After an exchange of three and outs, Jamaal Charles goes pitch right ... and fumbles. Touchdown denver. 34-6. It is at this point that I turn to Russ and Mona, note "the booze is cheaper at the bus", and I was out.
* The walk back was just surreal. Every Chiefs fan fled that stadium after the fumble. In the span of 10 minutes, we had gone from having the ball with a chance to tie the game, to being down 28. All traceable to one amazingly retarded decision, a decision that should seal Todd Haley's fate. Everyone you passed just shook their heads, with a "I cannot believe this happened" look. Normally on the walk back, even after a loss, I'll stop and talk to the regulars on the grass, chat it up with whoever I'm walking out with, at least go over a few key points and moments with Russ. I didn't say a word. Nobody said a word.
We get back to the bus, Russ unlocks it, and doesn't say a word. He just heads back, grabs two plastic cups, hands me one, and heads off for the beer tap. This was too painful for beer -- I immediately open the vodka bottle and the apple juice, and make a Steve style concoction that was pretty much 75% vodka. Russ and I head over to the tailgating neighbors (the ones with the bus in progress), and two of them are there. The one guy goes "I left after that fake punt. It's a joke. This whole damned team's a joke". The other guy just nods in agreement.
To further set the scene, even if you leave a game early, usually somebody, anybody, around you that's waiting out traffic or just hanging out for the hell of it, has the game on. Either on a TV or the radio, someone has it on. NOBODY had the game on. Its was so quiet out there that it quite honestly scared me. Nobody was talking, nobody's radio was playing the game or music or anything. Just angry p*ssed off fans drinking a bad season now gone horribly wrong away.
* Mona and Katie arrive next. Again, nobody really talking. Some jello shots appeared. You don't need to ask me twice.
* Dusty and Kellie next. Kellie of course had every right to be happy, as her team was winning. Dusty ... I gotta admit, I have never seen him as p*ssed off as he was at that moment. Never. I've known the kid for years, hell I lived with him for two years. Even the night we evicted "deadbeat ex roommate", the shopping at Lowe's for the locks and a new door and knowing how ugly it was going to get, four years of frustration with that loser about to boil over ... even THEN he wasn't as p*ssed off as yesterday. As Kellie stopped to have some shots and some beer and enjoy the victory, Dusty simply went and sat in the car to vent. Nothing you said or did could get him to come out of the car. Eventually, he moved the car over to make the walk for Kellie easier ... only he still didn't come out of the car. He just sat there, the anger rising. It was a true Steve style meltdown. Just obsessing over the play. He didn't even say goodbye -- he just rolled down the back window after a few minutes and yelled something like "Kellie, now!"
I personally loved it.
(It was nice for once to not be the irrational one in the group obsessing over a game.)
* Here's a true measure of how ugly it was. Normally when I leave a game early, I have to wait a while, because (a) not everybody's back yet or (b) the traffic is terrible. You can't exactly merge a huge bus into a steady stream of cars. Everyone left so early yesterday, that we were home before the game ended.
* Not only the beer tap broke yesterday, but we lost a goalpost on the drive home. Stupid dangling power lines.
* Postgame, not much to say. Sat around, drank, then headed home to watch "The Amazing Race" and drink. I had zero interest in watching the Sunday nighter. Mainly because watching the Cardinals, you just sit back and think "wait. Our head coach was their coordinator. Our defensive coordinator was their coordinator. They replace both of them after a Super Bowl appearance ... and they're better this year?" Oy.
* I am undecided on my attendance the remainder of the season. On the one hand, its a sunken cost. I'm out the $168 whether I go or not. On the other hand, I honestly don't think I can take it anymore. I hate our head coach so much, I have so little confidence in his ability to lead this team, that its not worth investing any more time or emotion at this point. Every decision only adds to the hatred, only adds to the rage I feel towards this team and this coach.
The only thing left now is to wait out the last four weeks, hope Todd Haley is fired, and a competent, qualified coach is hired to replace him. The Todd Haley Experiment is a failure. There's no other way to put it. Yesterday Todd Haley and his staff were exposed to the nation as frauds. They are incompetent. Not just Haley though, every last damned one of them should be sent packing. You don't fire the offensive coordinator two weeks before the season starts. That's a recipe for disaster. Haley did it. And this season is a disaster.
Where's the quality control guy, the Mike White of the staff, to step in and tell Todd that faking a punt with the backup QB is a retarded idea? I hate, I mean I freaking hate, the notion out there on Martin Manley's Upon Further Review site and elsewhere, that Haley is coaching aggressively to try to steal a win. Very few head coaches in this league have ever been more aggressive than Dick Vermeil. That man never met an opportunity where he didn't try to steal the situation. But he had Mike White there to reign in his excesses. Where's the Mike White on this staff? Where's the special teams coach screaming into his headset the utter stupidity of what Todd wants to try? Where's the common sense that tells you faking a punt to open the second half of a game you're only down a score in, is absolute insanity?
Bill Parcells always noted "you are what you are". These Chiefs are a direct reflection of their head coach and his playbooks. You like what you see, Kansas City? You feel proud to root for these guys? A defense that's given up 9 400+ yard games in 12 weeks? An offense that has topped 300 in yardage once this season? A team that's 1-5 at home, has given up 40 plus in back to back weeks, has given up 35 plus in half their games, and has yet to top 27 points scored. Players openly half assing it on the field, coaches unable to bring out the best in them?
I don't like what I see. I effing hate what I see.
Sorry to ramble. I needed to vent. For a better and more reasoned perspective, read Bob Gretz.
After yesterday's Chiefs / donkeys showdown at Arrowhead, I know exactly where to begin. And this is definitely not a good thing.
On the single most retarded play call I have ever witnessed.
To set the scene: its 4th and 7 at the Chiefs 28. Barely a minute has rolled off the clock to open the second half. The Chiefs trail 14-6. It is a one possession game, with 28 plus minutes to go. It is 4th and 7 at your own 28. Anyone with even an ounce of common sense punts the f*cking football. Anyone with an IQ of over 3 knows to punt the damned football.
Todd Haley, a man who will not be confused anytime soon with someone who possesses an "ounce of common sense" or "an IQ of over three", decides to fake the punt.
Only, he not just fakes the punt, because as stupid as that would have been, at least you might have caught the donkeys napping, something screwy might have happened, maybe someone decks Dusty C and you get a personal foul, at least a legitimate fake punt you can find some semblance of a justification for.
But to trot the backup QB out there and line him up as the punter? You have to be mentally retarded to not know what's coming next. The denver broncos are a lot of things, but they are not mentally retarded. They are a smart, disciplined, well coached football team.
The Chiefs, on the other hand, are none of those things.
As soon as they snapped it to Croyle, the ballgame was over. Not even remotely surprisingly, the donkeys maintained their lanes, batted the pass down (and there wasn't a Chiefs player with 20 feet of where the pass was headed anyways), and opened the floodgates. Three turnovers and 20 points later, I left at 34-6, with still 2 plus minutes left in the quarter.
I stood incredulous as the fake punt unfolded. I then stood in rage for 20 minutes afterwards, just glaring at the Chiefs sideline as the game fell apart, wishing to God there was some way to grab a sledgehammer and beat Todd Haley HHH style. Including chucking him through the Spanish announcing table.
For me, this experiment is over. I'm through with Todd Haley. He's dead to me. He flunked the only meaningful test of his rookie season -- he got embarrassed at home by my most hated franchise. And not just embarrassed -- he was exposed to the world yesterday for everything I believed him to be. A sh*tty ass head coach that's in over his head, hated by his players, inept at every single aspect of the game. After yesterday, there is no way, absolutely no way, anyone with a basic understanding of football can justify Todd Haley's continued employment beyond January 4, 2010. There is no way that can be done.
Its over. Pull the plug. ASAFP!!!
This was the equivalent of Marty Mornhinweg taking the wind instead of the ball to open overtime. This was the equivalent of the Vikings failing to turn in the draft card on time for two consecutive picks. This was the equivalent of the Miracle at the Meadowlands in terms of playcalling stupidity.
This was the single most retarded decision I have ever seen someone make.
Let's do this, I'll have more on the play below, because I'm not even close to being done raging about this. Especially given how Coach Asshat actually DEFENDED his decision in his postgame comments. I swear, when I heard his remarks, I wanted to cry. I've never been so angry to be a fan of a team as I am this morning. Past losses to denver I could cope with, because at least we had hope for the future. As long as Todd Haley is calling the shots, the Chiefs have NO shot of on-field success. None. This is as good as it gets for us with Coach Asshat at the helm. Getting tripled up at home. Allowing 40 plus to two divisional opponents in back-to-back weeks. (Side note: prior to yesterday, no Chiefs team in history had allowed 40 points in back-to-back games. Not even the "32 Defense" from 2002 accomplished that feat. Todd Haley's done more damage to this team in 12 weeks than even I imagined was possible. And I'm not exactly a Todd Haley fan).
* Should have known this would be a bad day based on how Nebraska / Texas ended the night before. For what its worth, the replay officials got it right, there should have been a second left on the clock. It still doesn't make it any easier to swallow though.
* I was wide awake at 3:30am. I was ready for this one. Too bad the Chiefs head coach wasn't.
* Arrived at the buses around 6am. You know I'm ready for a game when, despite the freezing cold, despite the threat of snow, and despite my stated hatred of said cold and snow, I arrived before half the other tailgaters were even awake.
* Solid crew yesterday. Two fairly packed buses. Menu was soups and chilis, with plenty of liquid and jello refreshment. I have to be honest -- at this point, the only reason I keep showing up is (a) the tickets are a sunken cost, and (b) the tailgating. There's no other reason to step foot on the grounds at One Arrowhead Drive. None. Unless you can facilitate my dream of going HHH on Coach Asshat through the Spanish announcing table. That's a valid reason too.
* The really nice new tailgating neighbors we met last home game, the ones who'd bought a short bus to turn into a tailgating dream, have made significant progress on said dream. The sides are all painted white, and they've got the Chiefs logos and emblems up. Its looking good, slowly yet surely.
* Funniest moment of tailgating: has to be when our neighbors across the way stumble in carrying a huge bottle of Cuervo and start offering shots to people. Turns out the guy's name is Castro. Poor guy. Most folks of Hispanic descent really wouldn't want to be stuck with the name "Castro", I would think. (The way he said it, I'm guessing he's not thrilled with his folks name choice at all).
* Worst moment of tailgating: as Monty's pulling the ambulance onto the grass, the beer tap split in two. Thankfully, enough was left on the tap to still enjoy the beer, but that definitely sucked.
* There were a ton of donkeys fans there yesterday. I had at least 15 of them in a 5 row vicinity around me. Including two right next to me in the seats that almost never get used. I guess I should be thankful to Coach Asshat for one thing -- his play call for the fake punt so enraged me, that I didn't even notice how obnoxious the donkeys fans got as that third quarter went along until I was leaving the stadium.
* The KC Wolf opening sketch was atrocious. I actually felt bad for the guy playing the sacrificial donkey. He had a look on his face for most of the pre-taped video that was a cross between "call my agent and CONFIRM I am getting paid to appear in this sh*tfest" and "please dear God, don't let anyone I know see me act in this sketch". In his defense, I would have been thinking the exact same two things.
* No flyover yesterday. Finally, someone looking out for the taxpayer's best interests.
(And please note: I am not anti-military, I'm not an isolationist, and I'm anything but an anti-war dove. But I am anti-flyover, because they are a complete waste of the taxpayer's money. We have far more pressing social concerns to be spending that money on than gassing up a few instruments of war to accommodate a worthless pregame show that nobody is going to remember 30 minutes after the fact anyways. I know I'm right about this.)
* The chick doing the national anthem was decent. Whitney something or other. If the singing career doesn't work out (and according to her Wikipedia page, its not), she should have her agent get Vivid Entertainment or Wicked Pictures on the line, she's attractive enough to be at least the third chick in a scene for one of those fine production companies.
* Chiefs won the toss, and chose to defer. It figures, the smartest decision anyone on our sideline made all day, and it was done on a coin toss. Oy.
* donkeys first drive was pretty impressive. Marched it a solid 65 yards in about 3 minutes. Then, kyle orton drops back to pass, and I still have no idea who or what he was looking at. It was into my end zone, and I didn't see anyone in white in the middle of the end zone where he was throwing. Demarrio Williams deflected the pass, and Mike Brown picked it off. Sadly, that was the highlight of the day, and there was still 55 plus minutes of craptacular football left to go.
* The Chiefs could do nothing after a turnover yesterday.
* Chiefs first drive after that interception, Cassel drops back on 3rd and about 5 and airs it out. It was a decently thrown ball that a wide open Bobby Wade should have caught, I thought. Only Wade didn't sell out to make the catch, he simply stuck his right arm out and hoped the ball would fall in. It went off his right hand. If he'd doved for the reception, odds are he gets it. He didn't even try. I'm telling you, this team has quit on Todd Haley. You could see it all day long yesterday, the subtle hints that the players just don't give a sh*t, they're so tired of being constantly berated by an idiot that they're just doing what they damned well want to. Even if that means half assing a pass right off the bat.
* After the play, Haley (for once, justifiably) lost his temper and ripped into Bobby Wade on the sidelines. Wade chose not to stand there and take it. He started screaming back. A player half assing it on the field is now screaming at a coach asking him why he's loafing like Carlos Beltran back in the day. Its imploding folks. Its all coming down in front of our eyes. And there's still a month left to go ...
* Seriously, do you think Carl ever watches a Chiefs game and just spends the entire three hours laughing his ass off? He took over a team in far worse shape than this one was, and between some shrewd Plan B signings, some tremendous drafting, and rock solid coaching, had the team a missed field goal at Cleveland away from the playoffs. In season one. I don't think Scott Pioli and Todd Haley could find a way to reach the playoffs if you gave them a Garmin and fronted them the tickets.
* The second denver possession, orton just tore the secondary to shreds. Four completions, plus a face mask penalty, and then orton found the endzone, I believe this was the graham TD. 7-0 donkeys.
* The Chiefs take the field, now trailing 7-0 and it probably should have been worse than that. And proceed to put on one of the greatest, old school drives you will ever see. On second thought, this might have been the highlight of the game. A 20 play drive that eats up nearly 9 minutes off the clock. Just a bunch of 3, 4, 5 yard Charles runs, 5-6 yard screen passes and out patterns, a calm, methodical drive down the field that had the Chiefs facing first and goal at the denver 1 yard line as the first quarter ended. In the west end zone, this hot as hell 32 year old was getting excited. It was set up, Chiefs punch it in over the next few plays, tie the game, get some momentum back ...
* and to noone's surprise, Todd Haley chooses three horrendous play calls from the goalline. First, a pitch left to Charles. Why in God's name would you call a pitch at the goalline? Pound the damned ball up the middle, four times in a row if you have to. Just fall forward. Whatever you do, don't go laterally because that's the ONLY way you can lose yardage (other than via penalty)! Charles loses 3. On second and goal, rather than giving it to Charles or (the surprisingly effective yesterday) Leonard Pope up the middle ... Haley puts Cassel in the shotgun, pass incomplete to Lance Long. Why in God's name would you call a SHOTGUN FORMATION on goal to go inside the 5? Why? Now, its third down. At this point a pass makes sense, but you could still catch denver offguard with a draw here (earlier on the drive, on 3rd and 7 at the denver 11, we'd called a draw to Charles, who gained 10 on the play to set up the goal to go. Cassel was under center on that play, so the defense had to play both run and pass, and didn't play either very effectively on that down, as Charles had a huge hole to plow through ... right up the middle). Now, on 3rd and 4 at the 4, Cassel again is in the shotgun, and this pass isn't even close to being complete.
Let's run through this one more time. Goal to go at the one. You're already 16 plays into the drive, you've had denver's defense on the field for 8 minutes and counting. Anyone with an ounce of football intelligence pounds it up the middle, four times if needed. Instead, Coach Asshat goes pitch left, shotgun incomplete, shotgun incomplete. A drive that should have ended 99% of the time with a Chiefs touchdown, had a power formation and straight ahead run been called ... instead ends in three baffling play calls and a field goal. This was as close as the Chiefs would come all day to catching denver.
Here's a hint, Todd. You don't get cute at the goalline. This isn't your girlfriend modeling her latest purchase from Victoria's Secret for you. That's where cute counts. Cute doesn't count on a football field. Victory is what counts there. You get victory by using common sense in how you attack the enemy. Nothing you did in this goal to go sequence passes the common sense test. Or helps you win yesterday. But it sure as hell contributed to yet another defeat on your resume.
* the teams exchange punts, before denver gets the ball back about midway through the quarter. And its at this point, that denver coach (and offensive play caller) josh mcdaniels changes direction. For most of the first 22 minutes, the donkeys have had more success in the air. To compensate, the Chiefs are starting to drop back off the line, play more nickel coverage, even on first down, and are dropping the linebackers into coverage a lot more than usual. mcdaniels sees this on the previous drive (where denver punted) and immediately adjusts the gameplan to pound the football. Seven plays and 80 yards later (only one play and 14 yards of which weren't running plays), denver's in the end zone again, knowshon moreno offtackle on 2nd and goal. (Note: denver got 1st and goal I believe at the Chiefs 4. They ran it offtackle with moreno twice, and scored. Take notes, Todd. You don't get cute at the goalline. You pound it down the opponent's throat.)
God bless it, I hate it that Pioli screwed the coaching hire. Why didn't Pioli hire mcdaniels? He knew josh better than any other GM looking for a coach. What's your excuse, Scott? What's your f*cking excuse for botching the first major decision with the Chiefs and setting the rebuild back another two years as a result if you don't fire him after this season? (And setting it back one year no matter what happens come January 4th).
Again, don't tell me coaching doesn't matter. It does in the NFL. denver has a tremendous head coach that'll be kicking our ass like a government mule for the next decade. We've got ... we've got an asshat who's too stupid to pound the ball at the one yard line. Excuse me while I go bash my head into the wall while having the irritating "in ... com ... plete! wa wa wa wa!!!" chant screamed in both my ears ...
* The teams then engage in a thrilling three-and-out festival, about 5 or 6 straight drives of neither side being able to do anything. Mostly due to inept quarterback play. Especially by Cassel. Who, when his receivers weren't half assing it and dropping passes, was overshooting his receivers with alarming inaccuracy. He had a throw in the third quarter, the drive after the fake punt, where he rolled out and had a wide open Chris Chambers 15 yards downfield. Cassel overshot Chambers by 20 yards. It was pathetic. Also, at one point yesterday, his QB rating hit a 3.2. 3.2! I believe you get a 42 just for doing nothing other than taking a snap. Holy Lord, he was awful yesterday.
* Then, the donkeys start driving. They get to midfield, and have a 3rd down play upcoming. Still about 1:45 to go in the half. Already up 14-3, if they punch this in, this game is all but over. Tamba Hali comes around the end, orton feels the pressure, panics, and moves up into the pocket instead of scrambling. Bad mistake. Hali nails him, knocks the ball out, and the Chiefs recover the fumble. Toss in a holding call by denver to boot, and the Chiefs are in business at midfield, with all three timeouts left.
This could have been a HUGE swing in momentum. If the Chiefs can score here, even just a field goal, they pull within a score at the half, and they get the ball, coming off what promised to be one of the most emotional halftimes ever in that stadium. Like so many times yesterday, the opportunity to get back in the game or really deliver a blow to denver was there.
The Chiefs did score ... although the clock management and (especially) the play call on 3rd down was atrocious. First down, Cassel gets off a short pass to Pope, who breaks a couple tackles to gain 11. Timeout Chiefs. That timeout, I was ok with. Pope was the safety valve, the play was designed to go downfield. You'd have to waste 20 seconds on the play clock getting everybody back, plus substitutions, no sense risking a stupid delay of game or false start penalty at that point, since you're pushing field goal range for Succup. (I believe we were at the 38 yard line).
Next play, protection breaks down, Cassel manages to get four yards and get out of bounds. Again, no complaints. He had to take off to avoid the rush, and he got out of bounds without losing yardage. Second down, short pass over the middle to Chambers sets up a third and a short one. Timeout Chiefs.
THIS timeout I had an issue with. This wasn't a downfield pass like the one that started the drive. Nobody went more than 7-8 yards downfield. Get back, bring in the power formation (its now 3rd and 1) and pound the f*cking football to get the first down, THEN call the timeout. You also have to consider that denver's moved the ball fairly well all day, you don't want to leave them too much time on the clock, especially since eddie royal is more than capable of returning the kick to midfield and beyond.
3rd and 1, more "cuteness" from Haley. Cassel in the shotgun. Incomplete. Now, its decision time. The wind yesterday was brutal. It was swirling in my end zone (which is where the field goal try would occur). At first Succup trots out, and then Haley has second thoughts, because the Chiefs burn their final timeout.
But as Paul Maguire would say, "let's go back to that previous play!" Why in the hell are you calling a shotgun formation on 3rd and 1, when (a) you only need about half a yard for the first down, and (b) the wind situation made ANY field goal try a crapshoot at best? Plus you still had a timeout left to stop the clock after the pickup!
Does ANYTHING even remotely sounding like this ever pass through Todd Haley's head? I'd be curious to know exactly what he was thinking in that spot. A power formation run, either up the middle or offtackle, is going to get you the first down 75% of the time, if not even higher. If you don't get the first, you aren't going to lose yardage, and then you can still try the field goal on 4th down. Sometimes its called an "obvious playcall" because it's "obvious" to everyone what the right thing to do is. Again, cute is wonderful when it involves a member of the opposite sex. Cute on the football field gets you fired. (Or at least it should in Todd Haley's case).
Then, more infuriating antics, at least to me. During the timeout, Haley and Cassel didn't even communicate. (brian griffin voice) what the hell? I stood and watched the sideline during this timeout. Haley didn't say one word to his quarterback. If the whole point of calling the timeout is to decide whether to try a dicey kick, or go for the first down, shouldn't the starting quarterback's input be heard? If anyone knows what the situation calls for, isn't it your field general? Again, its a small thing that's probably unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but it just illustrates to me yet again that Todd Haley has no clue what he is doing.
Haley opts to kick. The kick is good. Barely. This new regime's screwed up a lot in year one, but they nailed this draft pick. We haven't had a reliable place kicker with 35 plus yard range since Stoyanovich in the late 90s. (I know Morten Anderson was reliable, hence the "35 plus yard range" comment).
* So we're at the half. 14-6 denver. The moment everyone's been waiting for, the most hyped halftime event in franchise history, is upon us. The retirement of number 58.
As a stand alone event, it was very nice. I thought it was well-organized and well-planned. It seemed to be well-received by most of the fans. I liked seeing a lot of DT's former beloved teammates get some recognition -- Dan Saleaumua, Neil Smith, Tracy Simien, Kevin Ross. The guys who formed the core of the team that won a city's heart 20 years ago. It was wonderful to see Marty Schottenheimer, and I loved the huge, I mean huge, standing ovation he got. Seriously, that was the loudest Arrowhead got yesterday, was the prolongued applause for Marty. Good.
I also thought it was tremendously classy (and those are two words I do not often associate with the denver broncos or their fans, "tremendously" and "classy"), I thought it was tremendously classy that pretty much every denver fan in the stadium stood and applauded the honor of DT. As someone who toasted the demise of Barrel Man on Saturday night, I know I don't have the class their fans did yesterday.
(Although having said that ... rest in peace, Barrel Man. I may have hated you and I will always hate the team you rooted for, but you make every game for forty plus years, in the cold most of the time, while wearing just a barrel? And leaving your mark as one of the most recognizable fan symbols in the country? You got my respect. You'll be missed.)
Having said all that, again, nice respectful ceremony, appropriately done ... it was missing something. I don't know what exactly, but it just didn't feel right. For starters, I felt bad for his kids. I love DT, but the way he lived his life off the field is nothing to be respected. Anyone can make a mistake once. But seven times by five different women? To me, the kids being out there had to happen, but it kind of put a downer on the deal. A visual reminder that DT's greatness on the field was matched, if not topped, by his reckless stupidity off of it.
Plus, where was Carl? I don't care what issues Chiefs fans had with him by the end, the bottom line is that Carl's first major decision as our GM was to hire Marty. (Good start). His second major decision was to spend a top five draft pick on Derrick Thomas. (Even better). I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that Scott Pioli hiring Todd Haley and drafting Tyson Jackson isn't going to have the same impact on this team that Marty and Derrick did. (Well, it might, except in the exact opposite direction). Carl did a wonderful job presenting DT for induction. I think he should have been on the field yesterday to see the number retired.
And I know this is a nit picking point ... but where was Commissioner Goodell? I get that the Chiefs suck, and a December blowout victory by the visiting team isn't high on his priorities list, but wouldn't a number retirement for a Hall of Famer who was just inducted earlier this year at least show up on his radar somewhere? Even if it was a quick "fly in Sunday morning and leave at halftime" appearance, I think the Commish should have been there.
Also ... why was the ceremony so short? There were still 8 minutes left in the halftime when the thing was done. Why not have Saleaumua or Neil Smith or Marty speak? I know they did some pre-taped bits that aired during timeouts, but what's the harm in turning Neil Smith loose on the mic when you've got 5 minutes to spare?
All in all, again, a very nice, respectful gesture by the Chiefs, the Hall of Fame, the Thomas family, and his former teammates and coaches. But something was missing.
* Chiefs get the ball to open the second half. After a couple incompletions, its 4th down and 7. Cue the fake punt. Let's examine this fateful play a little bit more, ok?
Here's what the Star had to write: "Haley's decision-making again was questionable, underscored by a series of trick plays and an attempt to convert a fourth down, when Croyle lined up as the Chiefs punter, took the snap and, under pressure from the clearly unsurprised broncos, threw the ball into the turf."
(Note: when the freaking Kansas City Star, who at last check still employ Lewis Diuguid and Mary Sanchez, two folks who see racism in just ordering a cheeseburger, when the Star is calling your decision making "questionable", I think that's saying something.)
Here's what Brodie Croyle, who hadn't been asked to punt since high school, had to say about the worst playcall in franchise history: "We were hoping to catch them off guard. I think we did."
(Note: that only further enrages me. "I think we did". No, Brodie, you didn't. You didn't fool one damned person in that stadium. Most of all the 11 guys wearing white on that play, you definitely didn't catch them "off guard".)
Here's what Todd Haley, who isn't capable of coaching a high school team at this point, had to say about the worst playcall in franchise history: "We felt good, obviously, to call it (the play). The nature of the play made it something we had to do in our own end where they didn't have any chance to be in any kind of safe punt return or coverage."
And then, rather than admit the obvious (that it was a horrendous decision that completely opened the floodgates to a denver victory), Todd Haley did what he does best: he threw his troops under the bus. "We missed a block. We turned a guy free that should have been blocked. Then we've got to execute the play. The ball was knocked down. Who the ball was going to, it appeared to me he was open for a very big play".
The Star's next paragraph, again, in a rare voice of reason moment for that publication: "Gafford was indeed uncovered, but the ball never had a chance to get to him. (broncos player richard) quinn was not fooled".
So let's see here. You trot out the backup QB to ostensibly punt the ball. The donkeys defenders, not even remotely fooled or bamboozled by what is going to happen, simply shift tactics and hold their blocks rather than rush the "punter". By holding their blocks, the receiver for the play (the snapper) can't get open, because he has to block. There is no fallback option, no contingency plan. Its all or nothing. By simply noting "hey, that's a QB back there, not the punter. Whatdya bet something fishy is about to happen", the donkeys special teams turned the game from a tight, competitive contest, into an ass kicking of Biblical proportions.
And all our coach can say about it, his reaction to the brain fart of the century, is to (a) toss his players under the bus, (b) claim that it worked in practice, and (c) attempt to avoid all responsibility for his game-changing decision. In the words of the great Verne Lundquist, "wonderful!"
But don't just take my word for it! Plenty of folks were angry, stunned, or laughing hysterically over this abject stupidity of this playcall. The donkeys fans next to me turned and asked "is your coach really this stupid?" (Yes. Yes he is.) Greg, the guy who sits in front of me, simply turned around with a "what the f*ck just happened" look of abject horror. The curly haired guy two rows in front of me turned around with the same "what the f*ck just happened" look, only this one was of a "this is so stupid you can't help but laugh" variety.
Gregg, the ex-roommate, has yet to comment. I sent the "todd must go cut the cord" text that every other time gets a "you overreact / he's not that bad / give him time" response. No response this time. (Congratulations, Todd! You've managed to f*ck up so spectacularly that my voice of reason cannot disagree with what I am saying about you! You definitely get a Tommy Point for that one.)
But don't just take it from section 132. I asked a fellow STH over in 136 his thoughts. Dusty's reply: "I wasn't cold anymore after that play. My blood was boiling." And this too, "I don't care who you are, that's a fireable offense. That's a fireable offense". (Take it from me folks, as p*ssed off as I was after that game yesterday, and especially over this play, I had nothing on Dusty J yesterday. Keep reading ...)
* I should have left after that play. Instead, I spent the next 20 some odd minutes just staring in rage at the Chiefs sideline. Ask anyone sitting by me. I didn't talk, I didn't move. I just stood there, arms folded, with a look of sheer rage, staring at the retard in the black shirt walking our sideline. The Chiefs D held denver to a field goal after the turnover on downs to go up 17-6, but the damage was done. Nobody supporting the Chiefs, at that point, had even an ounce of confidence in the team to win. And we were right.
Cassel intercepted on the second play after the field goal. A horrendous pass. Returned to the Chiefs 20. A couple plays later, touchdown denver, I believe this was marshall's catch. Its now 24-6 and we're just getting started. Cassel again intercepted on another horrendous pass. The donkeys kick a field goal. 27-6, and we're just getting warmed up. After an exchange of three and outs, Jamaal Charles goes pitch right ... and fumbles. Touchdown denver. 34-6. It is at this point that I turn to Russ and Mona, note "the booze is cheaper at the bus", and I was out.
* The walk back was just surreal. Every Chiefs fan fled that stadium after the fumble. In the span of 10 minutes, we had gone from having the ball with a chance to tie the game, to being down 28. All traceable to one amazingly retarded decision, a decision that should seal Todd Haley's fate. Everyone you passed just shook their heads, with a "I cannot believe this happened" look. Normally on the walk back, even after a loss, I'll stop and talk to the regulars on the grass, chat it up with whoever I'm walking out with, at least go over a few key points and moments with Russ. I didn't say a word. Nobody said a word.
We get back to the bus, Russ unlocks it, and doesn't say a word. He just heads back, grabs two plastic cups, hands me one, and heads off for the beer tap. This was too painful for beer -- I immediately open the vodka bottle and the apple juice, and make a Steve style concoction that was pretty much 75% vodka. Russ and I head over to the tailgating neighbors (the ones with the bus in progress), and two of them are there. The one guy goes "I left after that fake punt. It's a joke. This whole damned team's a joke". The other guy just nods in agreement.
To further set the scene, even if you leave a game early, usually somebody, anybody, around you that's waiting out traffic or just hanging out for the hell of it, has the game on. Either on a TV or the radio, someone has it on. NOBODY had the game on. Its was so quiet out there that it quite honestly scared me. Nobody was talking, nobody's radio was playing the game or music or anything. Just angry p*ssed off fans drinking a bad season now gone horribly wrong away.
* Mona and Katie arrive next. Again, nobody really talking. Some jello shots appeared. You don't need to ask me twice.
* Dusty and Kellie next. Kellie of course had every right to be happy, as her team was winning. Dusty ... I gotta admit, I have never seen him as p*ssed off as he was at that moment. Never. I've known the kid for years, hell I lived with him for two years. Even the night we evicted "deadbeat ex roommate", the shopping at Lowe's for the locks and a new door and knowing how ugly it was going to get, four years of frustration with that loser about to boil over ... even THEN he wasn't as p*ssed off as yesterday. As Kellie stopped to have some shots and some beer and enjoy the victory, Dusty simply went and sat in the car to vent. Nothing you said or did could get him to come out of the car. Eventually, he moved the car over to make the walk for Kellie easier ... only he still didn't come out of the car. He just sat there, the anger rising. It was a true Steve style meltdown. Just obsessing over the play. He didn't even say goodbye -- he just rolled down the back window after a few minutes and yelled something like "Kellie, now!"
I personally loved it.
(It was nice for once to not be the irrational one in the group obsessing over a game.)
* Here's a true measure of how ugly it was. Normally when I leave a game early, I have to wait a while, because (a) not everybody's back yet or (b) the traffic is terrible. You can't exactly merge a huge bus into a steady stream of cars. Everyone left so early yesterday, that we were home before the game ended.
* Not only the beer tap broke yesterday, but we lost a goalpost on the drive home. Stupid dangling power lines.
* Postgame, not much to say. Sat around, drank, then headed home to watch "The Amazing Race" and drink. I had zero interest in watching the Sunday nighter. Mainly because watching the Cardinals, you just sit back and think "wait. Our head coach was their coordinator. Our defensive coordinator was their coordinator. They replace both of them after a Super Bowl appearance ... and they're better this year?" Oy.
* I am undecided on my attendance the remainder of the season. On the one hand, its a sunken cost. I'm out the $168 whether I go or not. On the other hand, I honestly don't think I can take it anymore. I hate our head coach so much, I have so little confidence in his ability to lead this team, that its not worth investing any more time or emotion at this point. Every decision only adds to the hatred, only adds to the rage I feel towards this team and this coach.
The only thing left now is to wait out the last four weeks, hope Todd Haley is fired, and a competent, qualified coach is hired to replace him. The Todd Haley Experiment is a failure. There's no other way to put it. Yesterday Todd Haley and his staff were exposed to the nation as frauds. They are incompetent. Not just Haley though, every last damned one of them should be sent packing. You don't fire the offensive coordinator two weeks before the season starts. That's a recipe for disaster. Haley did it. And this season is a disaster.
Where's the quality control guy, the Mike White of the staff, to step in and tell Todd that faking a punt with the backup QB is a retarded idea? I hate, I mean I freaking hate, the notion out there on Martin Manley's Upon Further Review site and elsewhere, that Haley is coaching aggressively to try to steal a win. Very few head coaches in this league have ever been more aggressive than Dick Vermeil. That man never met an opportunity where he didn't try to steal the situation. But he had Mike White there to reign in his excesses. Where's the Mike White on this staff? Where's the special teams coach screaming into his headset the utter stupidity of what Todd wants to try? Where's the common sense that tells you faking a punt to open the second half of a game you're only down a score in, is absolute insanity?
Bill Parcells always noted "you are what you are". These Chiefs are a direct reflection of their head coach and his playbooks. You like what you see, Kansas City? You feel proud to root for these guys? A defense that's given up 9 400+ yard games in 12 weeks? An offense that has topped 300 in yardage once this season? A team that's 1-5 at home, has given up 40 plus in back to back weeks, has given up 35 plus in half their games, and has yet to top 27 points scored. Players openly half assing it on the field, coaches unable to bring out the best in them?
I don't like what I see. I effing hate what I see.
Sorry to ramble. I needed to vent. For a better and more reasoned perspective, read Bob Gretz.
Friday, December 4, 2009
the week 13 picks
(archie voice) we ready ... we ready ... we ready ... for y'all ...
(Or at least I am. Bring it denver! Effing bring it! Oh how I live for this game …)
Last Week SU: 11-5-0
Season to Date SU: 104-72-0
Last Week ATS: 7-9-0
Season to Date ATS: 82-93-1
Last Week Upset / Week: another donkeys winner.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 6-6.
This Week's Upset / Week: take a freaking guess.
The Non-Chiefs Predictions:
* Jets (-3) 24, Bills 20, in Toronto.
* at Steelers (-14) 31, raiders 14.
* at Jaguars (pick) 21, Texans 20.
* Titans (+6 1/2) 28, at Colts 20.
* at Falcons (+5 1/2) 27, Eagles 24.
* at Bengals (-13) 45, Lions 3.
* Saints 21, at Redskins (+9) 20.
* at Panthers 7, Bucs (+6 1/2) 3.
* at Bears 31, Rams (+9) 24.
* Chargers (-13) 56, at Browns 0.
* 49ers (pick) 31, at Seahawks 20.
* Cowboys (-2 1/2) 34, at Giants 30.
* Patriots 24, at Dolphins (+6) 20.
* Vikings (-5) 34, at Cardinals 21.
* Ravens (+3) 16, at Packers 14.
The Bonus College Pick:
* Nebraska (+14) 27, Texas 23. The return to all that is good, right, and decent about college football continues in a big way. Tradition should matter. Power I should matter. Winning with class, integrity, and a suffocating defense should matter. Saturday night, it does. (And yes, I'm tempted to haul the Huskers hockey jersey out of the back of the closet for this one. Hell, I might go with the Lawrence Phillips Orange Bowl jersey from the 1994 championship season. Anything to swing the outcome. Go Big Red! Go Big Red!)
The Chiefs Prediction:
This is the part where I should deliver some inspirational, uplifting, "hell yes!" speech that inspires the masses to show up on Sunday. Its what I did for years in the picks email at (steve's former employer). Its what I did for a few years in the picks email at (steve's current employer). Its what I tend to do for home games on this site.
Only ... I'm not going to do it.
In years past for denver games, I've laid out the reasons why I hate the denver broncos. I've (big fancy word here) "regaled" you with tales of denver games past, of epic Chiefs victories. I've pointed out how many thugs denver has employed. I've noted how devoted reader and former roommate Gregg calling donkeys owner patrick j. bowlen a "classless jackass" to his face, is one of my favorite moments in life.
But … I'm not planning to do that today.
Nor am I going to blast the "bandwagon" fans who are contemplating not showing up due to the "cold", or the "Chiefs record", or the fact that its going to be "cold". Even though I really, really want to ... I'm (dana carvey voice) not gonna do it.
(OK, I lied, I am gonna do it. What the hell kind of fan uses the cold as an excuse to miss this tailgate or this game? Next week fine, its acceptable. But denver? You're gonna pussy out on the donkeys game because you're cold? I call bullsh*t. Nobody hates the cold more than me. Nobody! I start shivering if the temperature falls below 70. I'm in multiple layers as soon as the temperature hits 65. Currently at the apartment, I've turned into a grizzley bear -- I've moved the flat screen and the computer into my bedroom, which turns into a sweatshop thanks to the two space heaters I have going. It hit 94 degrees in there last night. I couldn't be happier. Wait, where was I going with this? Oh yeah. Screw the cold! Suck it up! Show up! Do your part!)
I even thought about laying out the reasons I'm showing up on Sunday ... only, that would sound like an inspirational, uplifting, "hell yes" speech. You can only tout my love of tailgating, my hatred of denver, my history of public intoxication, and my 2,093,928 (approximate) losing streak at washers to Dusty so many times before it gets to be routine.
Instead ... I'm going to do something I'm pretty sure I've never done before in a Chiefs Prediction section.
I'm going to keep it short and simple.
My four line thoughts on what will happen, courtesy of Muse.
"They will not force us!
They will stop degrading us!
They will not control us!
We will be victorious!!!"
at Chiefs (+4 1/2) 30, donkeys 21.
If you're coming Sunday, you know where we are. Hope to see you there. We'll be set up when the gates open. Grassy Lot, across from G30. Menu is chilis and soups. Plus a healthy helping of vodka, champagne, beer, bench warmers, and hot damn! Show up early. Stay late and party. Have some fun. Make Arrowhead rock like it has the last two weekends. It felt like old times in there for Pittsburgh. You couldn't have had more fun at KU / MU even if you tried. Let's keep this thing rolling. (blackstreet voice) play on playa ...
(Or at least I am. Bring it denver! Effing bring it! Oh how I live for this game …)
Last Week SU: 11-5-0
Season to Date SU: 104-72-0
Last Week ATS: 7-9-0
Season to Date ATS: 82-93-1
Last Week Upset / Week: another donkeys winner.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 6-6.
This Week's Upset / Week: take a freaking guess.
The Non-Chiefs Predictions:
* Jets (-3) 24, Bills 20, in Toronto.
* at Steelers (-14) 31, raiders 14.
* at Jaguars (pick) 21, Texans 20.
* Titans (+6 1/2) 28, at Colts 20.
* at Falcons (+5 1/2) 27, Eagles 24.
* at Bengals (-13) 45, Lions 3.
* Saints 21, at Redskins (+9) 20.
* at Panthers 7, Bucs (+6 1/2) 3.
* at Bears 31, Rams (+9) 24.
* Chargers (-13) 56, at Browns 0.
* 49ers (pick) 31, at Seahawks 20.
* Cowboys (-2 1/2) 34, at Giants 30.
* Patriots 24, at Dolphins (+6) 20.
* Vikings (-5) 34, at Cardinals 21.
* Ravens (+3) 16, at Packers 14.
The Bonus College Pick:
* Nebraska (+14) 27, Texas 23. The return to all that is good, right, and decent about college football continues in a big way. Tradition should matter. Power I should matter. Winning with class, integrity, and a suffocating defense should matter. Saturday night, it does. (And yes, I'm tempted to haul the Huskers hockey jersey out of the back of the closet for this one. Hell, I might go with the Lawrence Phillips Orange Bowl jersey from the 1994 championship season. Anything to swing the outcome. Go Big Red! Go Big Red!)
The Chiefs Prediction:
This is the part where I should deliver some inspirational, uplifting, "hell yes!" speech that inspires the masses to show up on Sunday. Its what I did for years in the picks email at (steve's former employer). Its what I did for a few years in the picks email at (steve's current employer). Its what I tend to do for home games on this site.
Only ... I'm not going to do it.
In years past for denver games, I've laid out the reasons why I hate the denver broncos. I've (big fancy word here) "regaled" you with tales of denver games past, of epic Chiefs victories. I've pointed out how many thugs denver has employed. I've noted how devoted reader and former roommate Gregg calling donkeys owner patrick j. bowlen a "classless jackass" to his face, is one of my favorite moments in life.
But … I'm not planning to do that today.
Nor am I going to blast the "bandwagon" fans who are contemplating not showing up due to the "cold", or the "Chiefs record", or the fact that its going to be "cold". Even though I really, really want to ... I'm (dana carvey voice) not gonna do it.
(OK, I lied, I am gonna do it. What the hell kind of fan uses the cold as an excuse to miss this tailgate or this game? Next week fine, its acceptable. But denver? You're gonna pussy out on the donkeys game because you're cold? I call bullsh*t. Nobody hates the cold more than me. Nobody! I start shivering if the temperature falls below 70. I'm in multiple layers as soon as the temperature hits 65. Currently at the apartment, I've turned into a grizzley bear -- I've moved the flat screen and the computer into my bedroom, which turns into a sweatshop thanks to the two space heaters I have going. It hit 94 degrees in there last night. I couldn't be happier. Wait, where was I going with this? Oh yeah. Screw the cold! Suck it up! Show up! Do your part!)
I even thought about laying out the reasons I'm showing up on Sunday ... only, that would sound like an inspirational, uplifting, "hell yes" speech. You can only tout my love of tailgating, my hatred of denver, my history of public intoxication, and my 2,093,928 (approximate) losing streak at washers to Dusty so many times before it gets to be routine.
Instead ... I'm going to do something I'm pretty sure I've never done before in a Chiefs Prediction section.
I'm going to keep it short and simple.
My four line thoughts on what will happen, courtesy of Muse.
"They will not force us!
They will stop degrading us!
They will not control us!
We will be victorious!!!"
at Chiefs (+4 1/2) 30, donkeys 21.
If you're coming Sunday, you know where we are. Hope to see you there. We'll be set up when the gates open. Grassy Lot, across from G30. Menu is chilis and soups. Plus a healthy helping of vodka, champagne, beer, bench warmers, and hot damn! Show up early. Stay late and party. Have some fun. Make Arrowhead rock like it has the last two weekends. It felt like old times in there for Pittsburgh. You couldn't have had more fun at KU / MU even if you tried. Let's keep this thing rolling. (blackstreet voice) play on playa ...
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
the week twelve predictions
Even by my standards ... yikes. Last week was a HHH sledgehammer to the nuts kind of week. I'll try to do better ...
Last Week SU: 8-8-0.
Season to Date SU: 93-67-0.
Last Week ATS: 4-12-0.
Season to Date ATS: 75-84-1.
Last Week Upset / Week: ugh.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 5-6.
This Week's Upset / Week: denver (+7) over Giants.
The Non-Chiefs Predictions:
* Packers (-10 1/2) 41, at Lions 13.
* at Cowboys (-13 1/2) 34, raiders 3.
* at broncos (+7) 14, Giants 10.
* at Texans (+3) 31, Colts 28.
* at Bengals (-14) 45, Browns 0.
* at Vikings (-10 1/2) 38, Bears 20.
* at Eagles (-9) 31, Redskins 13.
* Dolphins (-3) 17, at Bills 9.
* at Titans (NL) 31, Cardinals 30.
* at Rams (+3) 6, Seahawks 2.
* at Falcons (-12) 35, Bucs 0.
* Panthers (+3) 16, at Jets 10.
* Jaguars (+3) 23, at 49ers 17.
* at Ravens (NL) 13, Steelers 10.
* at Saints (-3) 41, Patriots 37.
The Chiefs Prognostication:
Well, since I've been called out for this quote all week, let's relive it, ok?
"There is not one sane, logical reason for me to pick the Chiefs to win this game. And in fact, I'm not going to. Because I don't see any way the Chiefs can win this game, short of every member of the Steelers coming down with some horrific illness or injury".
I've taken a ton of crap this week for that prediction. (Funny how I merely verbalized what EVERYONE in town was thinking, yet somehow, I'm the poster child for disbelief in the Chiefs. Really. Me, the model of having a less-than-optimistic view on the Red and Gold. Clearly, someone hasn't read the archives on this site, or ever visited the old site, or ever gotten the Friday Predictions from back in the day).
But, in the interest of fairness, let's just look at a couple things.
Passing Yards: Steelers 415, Chiefs 248.
Completion Percentage: Steelers 75%, Chiefs 50%.
Rushing Yards: Steelers 114, Chiefs 68.
Total Plays Run: Steelers 78, Chiefs 55.
Time of Possession: Steelers 44:07, Chiefs 22:25.
Red Zone Efficiency: Steelers 60% (3 of 5), Chiefs 33% (1 of 3)
Average Gain Per Play: Steelers 6.6, Chiefs 5.1
There is not one stat in there that suggests any "sane, logical reason" to explain how the Chiefs won this game. Even the turnover margin was merely +1 for KC.
So what won it for the Red and Gold? You can point to Charles' kickoff return, fine ... but the Steelers dropped 17 unanswered after that. I'm not buying it. You can point to Studebaker's two 3rd quarter INTs ... but the Steelers answered with a quick touchdown of their own after those potential back-breakers.
No, I point to something else. Something in the very next paragraph after the fateful quote above:
"What I want to see Sunday is something that really we haven't seen yet this season out of Coach Haley. Professionalism ... I want to see a competent, coherent, respectable gameplan on offense. I was to see a composed, dignified behavior on the sideline. I want to see our best players on the field, not in some proverbial doghouse because Coach has his panties in a bunch over some missed assignment from three weeks ago. I want to see a PROFESSIONAL football team on display".
Sunday, for the first time in a while, we saw PROFESSIONAL football on display. No insane temper tantrums by the head coach. No ridiculous sideline pouting. No retarded benching of guys for no apparent reason. When the guys at the top are professional, it tends to filter down.
Look it, the Chiefs don't have the talent to win in San Diego. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but let's be realistic here. We caught the perfect storm at Arrowhead on Sunday. I don't expect the scenarios we saw on Sunday (trap game for the other team, perfect special teams execution by the Chiefs, opening up the playbook at just the right time) to repeat themselves.
What I DO expect to continue, or at least I DEMAND continue, is that Coach Haley and his troops play PROFESSIONAL football. That's all I ask going forward. No more acting like a two year old who just sh*t his diapers and is growing impatient for someone to change him. Act like a PROFESSIONAL. I cannot stress this enough.
And who knows. If the professionalism shows up again on Sunday like it did last week, maybe my statement two paragraphs above looks as ridiculous as my dire prediction last week. A kid can dream.
at Chargers 27, Chiefs (+13 1/2) 14.
Last Week SU: 8-8-0.
Season to Date SU: 93-67-0.
Last Week ATS: 4-12-0.
Season to Date ATS: 75-84-1.
Last Week Upset / Week: ugh.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 5-6.
This Week's Upset / Week: denver (+7) over Giants.
The Non-Chiefs Predictions:
* Packers (-10 1/2) 41, at Lions 13.
* at Cowboys (-13 1/2) 34, raiders 3.
* at broncos (+7) 14, Giants 10.
* at Texans (+3) 31, Colts 28.
* at Bengals (-14) 45, Browns 0.
* at Vikings (-10 1/2) 38, Bears 20.
* at Eagles (-9) 31, Redskins 13.
* Dolphins (-3) 17, at Bills 9.
* at Titans (NL) 31, Cardinals 30.
* at Rams (+3) 6, Seahawks 2.
* at Falcons (-12) 35, Bucs 0.
* Panthers (+3) 16, at Jets 10.
* Jaguars (+3) 23, at 49ers 17.
* at Ravens (NL) 13, Steelers 10.
* at Saints (-3) 41, Patriots 37.
The Chiefs Prognostication:
Well, since I've been called out for this quote all week, let's relive it, ok?
"There is not one sane, logical reason for me to pick the Chiefs to win this game. And in fact, I'm not going to. Because I don't see any way the Chiefs can win this game, short of every member of the Steelers coming down with some horrific illness or injury".
I've taken a ton of crap this week for that prediction. (Funny how I merely verbalized what EVERYONE in town was thinking, yet somehow, I'm the poster child for disbelief in the Chiefs. Really. Me, the model of having a less-than-optimistic view on the Red and Gold. Clearly, someone hasn't read the archives on this site, or ever visited the old site, or ever gotten the Friday Predictions from back in the day).
But, in the interest of fairness, let's just look at a couple things.
Passing Yards: Steelers 415, Chiefs 248.
Completion Percentage: Steelers 75%, Chiefs 50%.
Rushing Yards: Steelers 114, Chiefs 68.
Total Plays Run: Steelers 78, Chiefs 55.
Time of Possession: Steelers 44:07, Chiefs 22:25.
Red Zone Efficiency: Steelers 60% (3 of 5), Chiefs 33% (1 of 3)
Average Gain Per Play: Steelers 6.6, Chiefs 5.1
There is not one stat in there that suggests any "sane, logical reason" to explain how the Chiefs won this game. Even the turnover margin was merely +1 for KC.
So what won it for the Red and Gold? You can point to Charles' kickoff return, fine ... but the Steelers dropped 17 unanswered after that. I'm not buying it. You can point to Studebaker's two 3rd quarter INTs ... but the Steelers answered with a quick touchdown of their own after those potential back-breakers.
No, I point to something else. Something in the very next paragraph after the fateful quote above:
"What I want to see Sunday is something that really we haven't seen yet this season out of Coach Haley. Professionalism ... I want to see a competent, coherent, respectable gameplan on offense. I was to see a composed, dignified behavior on the sideline. I want to see our best players on the field, not in some proverbial doghouse because Coach has his panties in a bunch over some missed assignment from three weeks ago. I want to see a PROFESSIONAL football team on display".
Sunday, for the first time in a while, we saw PROFESSIONAL football on display. No insane temper tantrums by the head coach. No ridiculous sideline pouting. No retarded benching of guys for no apparent reason. When the guys at the top are professional, it tends to filter down.
Look it, the Chiefs don't have the talent to win in San Diego. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but let's be realistic here. We caught the perfect storm at Arrowhead on Sunday. I don't expect the scenarios we saw on Sunday (trap game for the other team, perfect special teams execution by the Chiefs, opening up the playbook at just the right time) to repeat themselves.
What I DO expect to continue, or at least I DEMAND continue, is that Coach Haley and his troops play PROFESSIONAL football. That's all I ask going forward. No more acting like a two year old who just sh*t his diapers and is growing impatient for someone to change him. Act like a PROFESSIONAL. I cannot stress this enough.
And who knows. If the professionalism shows up again on Sunday like it did last week, maybe my statement two paragraphs above looks as ridiculous as my dire prediction last week. A kid can dream.
at Chargers 27, Chiefs (+13 1/2) 14.
Monday, November 23, 2009
chiefs! steelers! good times!
The streamers.
I read somewhere once, I believe in a Rick Reilly column regarding Jack Nicklaus' win at Augusta, that when you don't know where to begin, when you don't know how to rationally put your thoughts on paper (or in this case, cyberspace), focus on one point and expand from there.
For me, its the streamers.
If you've been to a game at Arrowhead, you know what I'm talking about. Those loyal, die hard fans in the upper deck who somehow smuggle in red and gold streamers, and unleash them on the fans below after every big Chiefs score. In the Vermeil years, you had the streamers flying every what, 10, 15 minutes? The last few years, sadly, we haven't really had a deluge of streamers. Save for last year's win over denver, there hasn't been much to celebrate since mid 2007.
(Yup, the Chiefs are 2-16 in their last 18 home games that count, dating back to Green Bay to open the second half of 2007. Yikes.)
Yesterday though, in the 4th quarter, in overtime, they just came flying down. Continuously. It was like the good old days in there. Fans yelling, cheering, smacking the back of the seats in front of them. Exciting comebacks. Shut down defense. Knocking the other team's quarterback out cold. And a simple little flair pass into the flat that turns into a 61 yard scamper that opens the floodgates on my tear ducts.
It was just ... it was beautiful.
* Huge tailgating contingent yesterday. I'd like to say that its because we all had faith the Chiefs would win, but let's be realistic. Not even I thought we could do this, and I'm just about the most delusional (aka optimistic) person I know. Still, when both the bus and the ambulance are pretty well filled up at 6:30, its a good sign.
* Arrived at the gates around 7. Met some folks who wound up parking next to us, who'd just bought a bus and were about to undertake the process of converting it from school bus to tailgate central. You gotta admire that.
* Also met a ton of Steelers fans. I'll give them this: they travel like no team I've ever seen. Not even Green Bay or Dallas fans filled that stadium like Pittsburgh fan did yesterday. I've never seen the lower bowl so filled with visiting fans. They were everywhere. Towels included.
* To say yesterday's tailgating main course was the best we've ever had ... well, might be stretching it a bit. Nancy's steak kabobs are always a special pleasure, and Monty makes a mean kabob as well. Ditto russ' Raider ribs. But the Philly cheesesteaks yesterday, holy Lord. I stopped at two. I easily could have had five. At least two people proclaimed it the "best tailgate food ever". They really were tremendous. In fact, by the time we finished eating some after the game, there was literally nothing left. I don't remember the last time we didn't have leftovers to take home for Monday's lunch. Nearly 25 pounds of cheesesteak, all gone. And worth every bite.
* To the shock of everyone, we had an early Dusty and Kellie arrival. However, to the shock of noone, I posted one of my worst efforts at washers of the season, extending to the losing streak to the ex-roommate to 2,516,872 (approximate).
* Panic moment of the day: its 11:10ish. We're packing up ... and suddenly realize, I don't have my ticket. Nancy was supposed to leave it on Saturday night, only nobody bothered to remember to grab it. We manage to get ahold of Gusser, who heads down, finds the ticket, and volunteers to drive it out. I start walking from our tailgating spot to Stadium Drive to meet him. Its about a 5 minute walk, no biggie. Gusser, if he'd been driving the speed limit, observing all traffic laws, should have taken 12-15 minutes to make the drive. He literally got to the fence at the same time I did. THAT is a MVP performance in driving! I was in my seat before the anthem. Unreal.
* I don't know who this Trailer Choir band is that performed the anthem ... but if your vision of a band named "Trailer Choir" is a hot blond chick with two fat, no-talent dudes in overalls next to her, you'd be correct. All that was missing was a banjo and some nitwit kid eating grass to complete the "Deliverance" image.
* Loved the Scott Pioli / Mitch Holtgus "Happy Thanksgiving" ad. Also loved the "Mayne Street" ripoff that led into KC Wolf's sketch. Mitch Holtgus is a highly underrated comedian.
* Funniest sign: across the field from me. "KC Wolf Is Really Chuck E. Cheese". The stuff that makes me laugh. I mean, who thinks of random stuff like that? Plus, anytime you get a Chuck E. Cheese reference, you always think back to "Grumpier Old Men":
(max) why would people drive all the way out here for fine Italian dining, when we've got a Chuck E. Cheese in town?
(maria) I don't know this Cheese person ...
That scene always cracks me up.
* Chiefs win the toss and choose to receive. Solid opening kick for Josh Reed, as Jamaal Charles fields it at our 3. And then took it to the house. I have no idea how Jamaal Charles squeezed through the last line of Steelers defenders. But as soon as he did, and he hit the 40, 45 yard line, he was gone. He hit the after-burners, and was just gone. To say Arrowhead was loud after that, is an understatement.
* Sadly, however, all the positive energy, good will, and optimism that return initially inspired, was whizzed away by yet another baffling, clueless, completely inept offensive performance in the first half. The Chiefs managed three offensive first downs. 42 yards of net offense. 42! And considering we only had one penalty called on us in the half, that means we racked up 47 total yards! That's horrendous!
As the great Jim Mora once noted, "our fans were vomiting in the stands at that performance". That about sums up the first half for the Chiefs offense yesterday.
The worst of it, though, was saved for the Chiefs final possession of the first half. Trailing 17-7, reeling after two straight solid Steeler drives ended in touchdown passes to Heath Miller, the defense managed to force a punt, and the Chiefs took over at their own 30, with 1:10 to go and all three timeouts remaining.
70 seconds. All three timeouts. You only need a couple first downs to at least try a field goal that could pull you within seven at the half. With Succup's leg strength and the fact that there was no wind in there yesterday, you'd need to get to the 43 to try it from 60. We're talking 25 yards. In 70 seconds. With all three timeouts. Extremely doable.
On first down the Chiefs call a screen to Charles (which I was fine with), and it gained a first down. Tick. Tick. Tick. No urgency, no hurry up, and worst of all, no timeout called! What in the f*cking hell was Coach Haley thinking? The next play was a catastrophe, as Cassel was sacked. Still, no sense of urgency, no hurry up. And the Chiefs walked to the locker room with all three timeouts in their pocket, after basically refusing to try to score at the end of the half.
In section 132, this irate, angry as all effing hell 32 year old fired off his frustrations via text, asking "can we pull a jerry jones and fire his ass at halftime", along with a few other anti-Coach rants. To say I was angry, is an understatement. I spent a solid 5 minutes just standing, arms folded, staring at the Chiefs players entrance, trying to ... well, I don't know what I was trying to do. Look angry and mean I guess. But I was furious.
* Funniest text of the day: from Katie right before halftime. "stay away from the little girls". The Junior Chiefs cheerleaders were the halftime show. Great, my ex (jokingly ... I think ...) warning me to avoid pedophilia. Can this day get any better?
(Yup).
* At this point, I had no doubt how the second half would unfold. Pittsburgh would come out, score on the opening possession, then a horribly called or executed play would lead to a turnover, Steelers punch it in to go up 24, and Coach Haley implodes on the sidelines like a spoiled little brat, blaming everyone other than the f*cking idiot calling the plays for the lack of execution. Come on. I know at least half of you reading this are nodding your heads, going "yup, that's exactly what I was thinkin' too, boss".
Only ... well, if I'm going to rip him when he's an idiot, I have to praise him when he does something right.
I have no idea what Todd Haley said at halftime. I have no idea what he did to change this game around. But that team that came out for the second half, was a different team than the one that took the field 90 minutes earlier. You could kind of sense it. The first half, even after Charles' return, the attitude seemed to be "just keep it close, don't embarrass yourself, act like professionals today". The second half, its like Haley decided "f*ck it, we're not here to look good, we're here to win. Let's win this damned game".
* First Steelers drive of the half, the pass goes off Heath Miller's hands, and into Andy Studebaker's. Who falls down at the Chiefs 38 to give us some hope. And here's where you first really noticed the Chiefs weren't gonna go away quietly. (Well, other than that whole "whoa, they got a swagger now!" realization as they came out of the locker room at halftime).
The entire first half yesterday, hell pretty much of the entire season, not just yesterday, Todd Haley has pretty much refused to open the passing game up. For whatever reason, he's decided the dink-n-dunk, play it safe routine is what is best for this team, that playing conservative football gives us the best chance to win.
He's dead wrong, of course, as yesterday proved. But, to his credit: Haley finally got it yesterday.
After a sweet midfield pass to Chambers to pick up a key first down, Cassel dropped back and let it fly to Mark Bradley. First down Chiefs at about the Steelers 20. And then, on 3rd and 9 at the Steelers 21, knowing you at least need the three (to get back within a possession) but really, knowing he needed the six, Haley called one of the most beautiful fullback jailbreak passes I've ever seen. Leonard Pope, faking the block, then sprinting wide, wide open to the end zone, as the triple WRs on the left side of the formation had pulled both safeties to that side. It was Pope vs ... uuh, well, he was pretty much uncovered. NOBODY expected Leonard Pope to engage his man, then take off for the end zone. Cassel threw a perfect pass, and all of a sudden, its 17-14, Arrowhead is getting louder, and even I started to think "maybe ... just maybe ..."
* My text message after the Pope TD (seriously, watch the replay. This thing is just beautiful. OUTSTANDING! play call by Coach Haley on that one, just outstanding!) was simple. "were getting the taint here". The Steelers kept driving. Kept driving. And then, paydirt, as Roethlisberger was fooled by the coverage, and dropping into coverage Andy Studebaker made his second pick of the quarter, this one three yards deep in the end zone. And off he went. The 50! The 40! The 30! The 20! Sweet f*cking Jesus can he do it!
(No).
Sadly, tackled at the eight yard line. But three plays later, the Chiefs (correctly) opted to kick the tying field goal on 4th and goal, and just like that, the game was tied for the first time all day. We'd gone toe to toe with the defending Super Bowl champions for 45 minutes, and had battled them to a draw. Bring on the 4th quarter!
* The Steelers open with a sweet pass to Hines Ward to put them in business at the Chiefs 46. And that's as close as they got. Three incompletions later, out came the punting unit. For the first time, you could see those asshole Steeler fans nervously clutching their towels. Also, not coincidentally, for the first time, I started waving the red towel I had with me. You're damned right I went there. Wasn't quite as fun as Gregg waving his red hat to mock those smug assholes, but it was still sweet.
* And then, just like that, momentum crushed. Matt Cassel takes a (chuck barkley voice) TURRIBLE sack on 2nd down, loses the ball, and the Steelers have it at our 27. Five plays later, touchdown. 24-17 Steelers. To make matters worse, on the ensuing kickoff, as I'm screaming "take a f*cking knee!" at Charles, he decides to run it out of the end zone. Thanks to a block in the back, the Chiefs are now starting at their own 9. First down, nothing. Second down, nothing. Its 3rd and 9, clock ticking down near the 6 minute mark. Cassel comes to the line ... and calls timeout. The boos start raining down. Same old Chiefs, I'm sure many were thinking. (Myself included).
Only, I watched the Cassel / Haley interaction during that timeout. Last week in Oakland, Haley was berating Cassel for doing the same thing. This week, it was a calm, rational discussion on what the play should be. You could make a legitimate argument that this was the ballgame. Convert or else. There was no yelling, no screaming, no blaming anyone, it was ... it was professionalism. Which is what I'd begged and pleaded to see all week. And here, at the biggest moment of the game, the two key players (QB and coordinator) are as calm as can be. I turned to Monty and Chris and said "we're converting this, and we're tying this game". The smug Steeler fans behind me just started laughing. "You haven't converted this all day! You aren't starting now!"
The play, BAM!, a perfect strike to Lance Long streaking down the middle. Gain of 30 to the Steelers 40. Arrowhead starting to get louder, starting to feel it. Arguably the biggest conversion of the season so far.
And here's where I think the "new" Todd Haley, or at least the one I want running my team, took control of this game. The Todd Haley of the previous 9 weeks, calls a run to Charles there, to calm things down. The Todd Haley of yesterday orders up a bomb to Chris Chambers. 48 yard completion. Chambers just blew by the Steelers defenders. He was WIDE open. Sadly, the pass was underthrown, so the defender caught up and made the tackle. But I loved the concept there. You've just converted a huge 3rd and long. Rather than take a moment to gain your bearings, you drop another bomb on them. Loved it.
Then on first down, the fake up the middle to Charles, when everyone in the stadium KNEW it was going to be a run ... and instead, its a wide receiver reverse to Bobby Wade that gains 8. Awesome. You could feel it, the rising optimism, the rising crowd noise. The nervous as all hell Steelers fans.
Two plays later, a shovel pass to Charles for the tying score. Haley admitted after the game that he'd been waiting all game to use that call. I'd say he picked the perfect time.
* Its at this point I get an "urgent" text from Brent. "you have no qb still time to put in mcnabb". I forgot we swung a deal this week that traded my starting QB to the Salty Bananas, and I didn't log into my team on Sunday morning because I was running late and forgot about it. Thankfully, McNabb was inserted into the starting lineup, and team tito should move on to 7-3-1 after tonight.
* Still plenty of time left for Pittsburgh though. Amazingly, the defense forced a three and out. "Is this for real? Are you kidding me?" All common phrases heard at this point. The Chiefs are getting the ball back with a shot to win! Short lived though. Chiefs also go 3 and out, and punt back after the two minute warning. Roethlisberger opens the drive at his own 20, 1:47 and two timeouts to go, only needing a field goal. First down, one of the craziest sacks I've ever seen, Derrick Johnson literally riding the back of a hunched over offensive lineman, reaching out, grabbing Roethlisberger's jersey, and somehow, through sheer determination, dragging him to the ground. Arrowhead is going crazy! But, since it is the Chiefs ... illegal contact. Why in the hell Wallace Gilberry was on the field, let alone in pass coverage, is beyond me. (To be fair, prior to yesterday, I did not know we had a player named Wallace Gilberry on the roster). But that negated the sack. Roethlisberger does what he does best: drives the Steelers. They get to the Chiefs 43, facing a 3rd and 5, a little over a minute to go. Time to stand guys. The crowd noise at this point was just unreal. At this point, I had the same thoughts flashing through my head that I did for the KU / MU game last year. "Yeah, I want my team to win, but holy crap, this game has been way too good to end with something shady". The only thing I didn't want was some amped up Chiefs defender committing a pass interference call.
* So Roethlisberger drops back, and the blitz just engulfs him. Down goes Ben! I believe there were :57 remaining when he went down. The Chiefs had one timeout left.
And never used it.
(steve getting really angry) Todd, you did a tremendous job of coaching yesterday. Really, you did. (Well, once someone knocked you with a 2x4 in the head at halftime and convinced you to open things up). But your clock management skills are worse than piss poor. Herm's were piss poor. Yours are 1,000 times worse.
You completely f*cked up the closing drives of BOTH halves yesterday. Completely FUBAR'd them. I'm not saying the Chiefs would have driven to try the game winning field goal had we called that timeout with :57 to go. But we'd have gotten the ball back with about :50 left, at our own 20. 40 yards in 49 seconds. The way the passing game was flowing in that fourth quarter, you mean to tell me we couldn't have at least made it interesting?
* Steelers win the coin flip. I did the research this morning, Chiefs overtime games in the 2000s prior to yesterday. Here's the list:
1/2/00: Raiders 41, at Chiefs 38.
9/10/00: at Titans 17, Chiefs 14.
9/9/01: Raiders 27, at Chiefs 24.
12/16/01: at Chiefs 26, broncos 23.
9/22/02: at Patriots 41, Chiefs 38.
10/20/02: broncos 37, at Chiefs 34.
10/12/03: Chiefs 40, at Packers 34.
9/17/06: at broncos 9, Chiefs 6.
12/3/06: at Browns 31, Chiefs 28.
12/30/07: at Jets 13, Chiefs 10.
11/2/08: Bucs 30, at Chiefs 27.
11/11/09: Cowboys 26, at Chiefs 20.
Call me crazy, but when you're 2-9 in the decade in overtime, why wouldn't you stop that clock and try to win it in regulation? Dumb, dumb move by Todd Haley. Thankfully, he got away with it.
* Steelers open with a couple nice runs, a short pass to Hines Ward, and have a 2nd and 3 at their own 40. Ben scrambles, and is taken down. Hard. Replays show he pretty much got kneed in the head. I turn to the Steelers fan behind me and ask "who's the backup QB", because I truly have no clue. Turns out ... its Charlie Batch! I think at this point, all of Arrowhead was breathing a sigh of relief. Considering the Steelers were flagged for a blatant hold on the play, they've now got 2nd and 13 at their own 30, and Chuck Batch is under center.
* Three plays later, the Steelers have 3rd and 2 at the Chiefs 35. Seems Chuck Batch had no problems moving the ball against our defense. Shocking, I know. I get why the Steelers called a run in this spot. What I don't get is why they called the running play they did (a pitch to Moore). If anything, you just pound it up the middle there. You need two yards for the first down. No matter what though, you CANNOT lose yardage because you're right on the edge of trying the field goal. Its a 53 yarder at that point. If you lose yardage, you'll have to punt. That's why a pitch made no sense. Belcher just swallowed it up, Steelers lose 4, and in comes the punter.
* Having said that, why didn't the Steelers go ahead and try the field goal anyways? It would have been a 57 yard attempt, but there was no wind in that stadium, you've got a rock solid kicker with a good leg in Jeff Reed, and the ensuing punt only netted you 18 yards anyways. Plus there's that pesky little detail known as "if the kick was good, we win the game". I'd have at least lined up in the field goal formation, if only to pooch punt it. That seems to me to be a better play that letting the punter boom it into the end zone.
* Chiefs take over at their own 20. Jamaal Charles goes offtackle on first down ... and keeps going ... and keeps going ... he turned what should have been a 1, 2 yard gain into a gain of 11 and a first down. And then came the understated, undervalued, however you want to phrase it, THE key play of the game.
On 2nd and 5 (I think, it was 5 or 6 yards to go after the short pass to Pope on first down), Cassel drops back to pass and airs it out for Chambers deep. The Steelers defender is there just waiting for it. Its a layup interception. Only Chris Chambers never gave up on it, and somehow managed to knock the pass out of the defenders hands and onto the ground. I have no idea how that pass was incomplete. No idea. But Chambers made the play. Which set up ...
* 3rd and 5 at the Chiefs 36. Cassel calls a short, simple crossing route for Chambers, designed to get the first down, which he does. Only, he keeps going. And keeps going. And doesn't stop until he's at the Steelers 4! (dan dierdorf voice) Just a simple little flare ... Arrowhead was rocking now. Out comes Ryan Succup and Dusty C for the field goal attempt. I hit my knees in the traditional section 132 manner. The snap, the hold, the kick, its good! Chiefs win!
* The first thing I did, after the congratulatory hugs, high fives, and "wohoo!"s, was grab that red towel thingy, and just start waving it and chanting "Here we go Steelers, Here we go!" You're damned right I went there. I was a model of civility for 3 1/2 hours around thousands of annoying as f*ck Steelers fans. If you're gonna give it guys, be ready to take it.
(Although to be fair, I did simply congratulate the Steelers fan in front of me for a good game. He and his wife were perfectly acceptable football fans. It was the four loudmouthed drunks behind us that p*ssed me off. Especially the large blonde chick who kept screeching at every play, good or bad. Yes, screeching. I made sure I waved the towel in her face).
* The next thing, a congratulatory moment with the old roommate and his family. It was a relief to see that I wasn't the only one who had, uuh, some redness in their eyes.
* The walk up the ramp after a win is one of my favorite moments of the Arrowhead Experience. The jubilation, the chanting, the Tomahawk Chop, just beautiful. Oh, and with another accessory too. God love him, there was one person there yesterday who believed we'd win. Monty brought in the victory cigars. Rarely has a cigarillo tasted as good as that one did on the walk back to the buses.
* I finally get back up to the buses, and I'm pretty much one of the last ones to arrive. The celebratory high five with Dusty. Me noting that "the last time we won a home game, we hadn't even met each other yet" to Kellie and Katie. The hug with Mona. Then Sheila broke out the bubbly. Dusty lobbied for Monty to break out the stereo. Yeah, we weren't going anywhere for a while.
* After about an hour of postgame tailgating, it was off to Russ and Mona's for more, uuh, postgame tailgating. Seeing the donkeys get killed at home never gets old, even if I do want them to win this division if we can't (and I'm guessing at 3-7, 4 games behind San Diego with 6 to go, that we can't).
* Finally got home about 7pm last night. Sadly, there were no crazy post-game antics to report this week. No nudity in the hot tub, no falling down drunk on the stairs, just good times over some good booze and some tremendous Philly cheesesteaks. Anyways, after getting home, I poured myself a celebratory vodka and apple juice (highly underrated mixer, and believe me, I've tried mixing vodka with just about everything known to man) and crawled into bed to watch "The Amazing Race" and some football. And within 10 minutes, I fell asleep. I was just spent. (That, or intoxicated. Possibly both). Slept straight through until 7:32 this morning, which is what I set the alarm for last night. (Yeah, I'm leaning "intoxicated" at this point, definitely).
Still, what a great capper to a great weekend. I still need to recap the initial BuKCs party of 2009-2010, that was tremendous fun on Friday night. But this recap comes first. Because it was a
* Victory Sunday! I could definitely get used to a few more of these ...
I read somewhere once, I believe in a Rick Reilly column regarding Jack Nicklaus' win at Augusta, that when you don't know where to begin, when you don't know how to rationally put your thoughts on paper (or in this case, cyberspace), focus on one point and expand from there.
For me, its the streamers.
If you've been to a game at Arrowhead, you know what I'm talking about. Those loyal, die hard fans in the upper deck who somehow smuggle in red and gold streamers, and unleash them on the fans below after every big Chiefs score. In the Vermeil years, you had the streamers flying every what, 10, 15 minutes? The last few years, sadly, we haven't really had a deluge of streamers. Save for last year's win over denver, there hasn't been much to celebrate since mid 2007.
(Yup, the Chiefs are 2-16 in their last 18 home games that count, dating back to Green Bay to open the second half of 2007. Yikes.)
Yesterday though, in the 4th quarter, in overtime, they just came flying down. Continuously. It was like the good old days in there. Fans yelling, cheering, smacking the back of the seats in front of them. Exciting comebacks. Shut down defense. Knocking the other team's quarterback out cold. And a simple little flair pass into the flat that turns into a 61 yard scamper that opens the floodgates on my tear ducts.
It was just ... it was beautiful.
* Huge tailgating contingent yesterday. I'd like to say that its because we all had faith the Chiefs would win, but let's be realistic. Not even I thought we could do this, and I'm just about the most delusional (aka optimistic) person I know. Still, when both the bus and the ambulance are pretty well filled up at 6:30, its a good sign.
* Arrived at the gates around 7. Met some folks who wound up parking next to us, who'd just bought a bus and were about to undertake the process of converting it from school bus to tailgate central. You gotta admire that.
* Also met a ton of Steelers fans. I'll give them this: they travel like no team I've ever seen. Not even Green Bay or Dallas fans filled that stadium like Pittsburgh fan did yesterday. I've never seen the lower bowl so filled with visiting fans. They were everywhere. Towels included.
* To say yesterday's tailgating main course was the best we've ever had ... well, might be stretching it a bit. Nancy's steak kabobs are always a special pleasure, and Monty makes a mean kabob as well. Ditto russ' Raider ribs. But the Philly cheesesteaks yesterday, holy Lord. I stopped at two. I easily could have had five. At least two people proclaimed it the "best tailgate food ever". They really were tremendous. In fact, by the time we finished eating some after the game, there was literally nothing left. I don't remember the last time we didn't have leftovers to take home for Monday's lunch. Nearly 25 pounds of cheesesteak, all gone. And worth every bite.
* To the shock of everyone, we had an early Dusty and Kellie arrival. However, to the shock of noone, I posted one of my worst efforts at washers of the season, extending to the losing streak to the ex-roommate to 2,516,872 (approximate).
* Panic moment of the day: its 11:10ish. We're packing up ... and suddenly realize, I don't have my ticket. Nancy was supposed to leave it on Saturday night, only nobody bothered to remember to grab it. We manage to get ahold of Gusser, who heads down, finds the ticket, and volunteers to drive it out. I start walking from our tailgating spot to Stadium Drive to meet him. Its about a 5 minute walk, no biggie. Gusser, if he'd been driving the speed limit, observing all traffic laws, should have taken 12-15 minutes to make the drive. He literally got to the fence at the same time I did. THAT is a MVP performance in driving! I was in my seat before the anthem. Unreal.
* I don't know who this Trailer Choir band is that performed the anthem ... but if your vision of a band named "Trailer Choir" is a hot blond chick with two fat, no-talent dudes in overalls next to her, you'd be correct. All that was missing was a banjo and some nitwit kid eating grass to complete the "Deliverance" image.
* Loved the Scott Pioli / Mitch Holtgus "Happy Thanksgiving" ad. Also loved the "Mayne Street" ripoff that led into KC Wolf's sketch. Mitch Holtgus is a highly underrated comedian.
* Funniest sign: across the field from me. "KC Wolf Is Really Chuck E. Cheese". The stuff that makes me laugh. I mean, who thinks of random stuff like that? Plus, anytime you get a Chuck E. Cheese reference, you always think back to "Grumpier Old Men":
(max) why would people drive all the way out here for fine Italian dining, when we've got a Chuck E. Cheese in town?
(maria) I don't know this Cheese person ...
That scene always cracks me up.
* Chiefs win the toss and choose to receive. Solid opening kick for Josh Reed, as Jamaal Charles fields it at our 3. And then took it to the house. I have no idea how Jamaal Charles squeezed through the last line of Steelers defenders. But as soon as he did, and he hit the 40, 45 yard line, he was gone. He hit the after-burners, and was just gone. To say Arrowhead was loud after that, is an understatement.
* Sadly, however, all the positive energy, good will, and optimism that return initially inspired, was whizzed away by yet another baffling, clueless, completely inept offensive performance in the first half. The Chiefs managed three offensive first downs. 42 yards of net offense. 42! And considering we only had one penalty called on us in the half, that means we racked up 47 total yards! That's horrendous!
As the great Jim Mora once noted, "our fans were vomiting in the stands at that performance". That about sums up the first half for the Chiefs offense yesterday.
The worst of it, though, was saved for the Chiefs final possession of the first half. Trailing 17-7, reeling after two straight solid Steeler drives ended in touchdown passes to Heath Miller, the defense managed to force a punt, and the Chiefs took over at their own 30, with 1:10 to go and all three timeouts remaining.
70 seconds. All three timeouts. You only need a couple first downs to at least try a field goal that could pull you within seven at the half. With Succup's leg strength and the fact that there was no wind in there yesterday, you'd need to get to the 43 to try it from 60. We're talking 25 yards. In 70 seconds. With all three timeouts. Extremely doable.
On first down the Chiefs call a screen to Charles (which I was fine with), and it gained a first down. Tick. Tick. Tick. No urgency, no hurry up, and worst of all, no timeout called! What in the f*cking hell was Coach Haley thinking? The next play was a catastrophe, as Cassel was sacked. Still, no sense of urgency, no hurry up. And the Chiefs walked to the locker room with all three timeouts in their pocket, after basically refusing to try to score at the end of the half.
In section 132, this irate, angry as all effing hell 32 year old fired off his frustrations via text, asking "can we pull a jerry jones and fire his ass at halftime", along with a few other anti-Coach rants. To say I was angry, is an understatement. I spent a solid 5 minutes just standing, arms folded, staring at the Chiefs players entrance, trying to ... well, I don't know what I was trying to do. Look angry and mean I guess. But I was furious.
* Funniest text of the day: from Katie right before halftime. "stay away from the little girls". The Junior Chiefs cheerleaders were the halftime show. Great, my ex (jokingly ... I think ...) warning me to avoid pedophilia. Can this day get any better?
(Yup).
* At this point, I had no doubt how the second half would unfold. Pittsburgh would come out, score on the opening possession, then a horribly called or executed play would lead to a turnover, Steelers punch it in to go up 24, and Coach Haley implodes on the sidelines like a spoiled little brat, blaming everyone other than the f*cking idiot calling the plays for the lack of execution. Come on. I know at least half of you reading this are nodding your heads, going "yup, that's exactly what I was thinkin' too, boss".
Only ... well, if I'm going to rip him when he's an idiot, I have to praise him when he does something right.
I have no idea what Todd Haley said at halftime. I have no idea what he did to change this game around. But that team that came out for the second half, was a different team than the one that took the field 90 minutes earlier. You could kind of sense it. The first half, even after Charles' return, the attitude seemed to be "just keep it close, don't embarrass yourself, act like professionals today". The second half, its like Haley decided "f*ck it, we're not here to look good, we're here to win. Let's win this damned game".
* First Steelers drive of the half, the pass goes off Heath Miller's hands, and into Andy Studebaker's. Who falls down at the Chiefs 38 to give us some hope. And here's where you first really noticed the Chiefs weren't gonna go away quietly. (Well, other than that whole "whoa, they got a swagger now!" realization as they came out of the locker room at halftime).
The entire first half yesterday, hell pretty much of the entire season, not just yesterday, Todd Haley has pretty much refused to open the passing game up. For whatever reason, he's decided the dink-n-dunk, play it safe routine is what is best for this team, that playing conservative football gives us the best chance to win.
He's dead wrong, of course, as yesterday proved. But, to his credit: Haley finally got it yesterday.
After a sweet midfield pass to Chambers to pick up a key first down, Cassel dropped back and let it fly to Mark Bradley. First down Chiefs at about the Steelers 20. And then, on 3rd and 9 at the Steelers 21, knowing you at least need the three (to get back within a possession) but really, knowing he needed the six, Haley called one of the most beautiful fullback jailbreak passes I've ever seen. Leonard Pope, faking the block, then sprinting wide, wide open to the end zone, as the triple WRs on the left side of the formation had pulled both safeties to that side. It was Pope vs ... uuh, well, he was pretty much uncovered. NOBODY expected Leonard Pope to engage his man, then take off for the end zone. Cassel threw a perfect pass, and all of a sudden, its 17-14, Arrowhead is getting louder, and even I started to think "maybe ... just maybe ..."
* My text message after the Pope TD (seriously, watch the replay. This thing is just beautiful. OUTSTANDING! play call by Coach Haley on that one, just outstanding!) was simple. "were getting the taint here". The Steelers kept driving. Kept driving. And then, paydirt, as Roethlisberger was fooled by the coverage, and dropping into coverage Andy Studebaker made his second pick of the quarter, this one three yards deep in the end zone. And off he went. The 50! The 40! The 30! The 20! Sweet f*cking Jesus can he do it!
(No).
Sadly, tackled at the eight yard line. But three plays later, the Chiefs (correctly) opted to kick the tying field goal on 4th and goal, and just like that, the game was tied for the first time all day. We'd gone toe to toe with the defending Super Bowl champions for 45 minutes, and had battled them to a draw. Bring on the 4th quarter!
* The Steelers open with a sweet pass to Hines Ward to put them in business at the Chiefs 46. And that's as close as they got. Three incompletions later, out came the punting unit. For the first time, you could see those asshole Steeler fans nervously clutching their towels. Also, not coincidentally, for the first time, I started waving the red towel I had with me. You're damned right I went there. Wasn't quite as fun as Gregg waving his red hat to mock those smug assholes, but it was still sweet.
* And then, just like that, momentum crushed. Matt Cassel takes a (chuck barkley voice) TURRIBLE sack on 2nd down, loses the ball, and the Steelers have it at our 27. Five plays later, touchdown. 24-17 Steelers. To make matters worse, on the ensuing kickoff, as I'm screaming "take a f*cking knee!" at Charles, he decides to run it out of the end zone. Thanks to a block in the back, the Chiefs are now starting at their own 9. First down, nothing. Second down, nothing. Its 3rd and 9, clock ticking down near the 6 minute mark. Cassel comes to the line ... and calls timeout. The boos start raining down. Same old Chiefs, I'm sure many were thinking. (Myself included).
Only, I watched the Cassel / Haley interaction during that timeout. Last week in Oakland, Haley was berating Cassel for doing the same thing. This week, it was a calm, rational discussion on what the play should be. You could make a legitimate argument that this was the ballgame. Convert or else. There was no yelling, no screaming, no blaming anyone, it was ... it was professionalism. Which is what I'd begged and pleaded to see all week. And here, at the biggest moment of the game, the two key players (QB and coordinator) are as calm as can be. I turned to Monty and Chris and said "we're converting this, and we're tying this game". The smug Steeler fans behind me just started laughing. "You haven't converted this all day! You aren't starting now!"
The play, BAM!, a perfect strike to Lance Long streaking down the middle. Gain of 30 to the Steelers 40. Arrowhead starting to get louder, starting to feel it. Arguably the biggest conversion of the season so far.
And here's where I think the "new" Todd Haley, or at least the one I want running my team, took control of this game. The Todd Haley of the previous 9 weeks, calls a run to Charles there, to calm things down. The Todd Haley of yesterday orders up a bomb to Chris Chambers. 48 yard completion. Chambers just blew by the Steelers defenders. He was WIDE open. Sadly, the pass was underthrown, so the defender caught up and made the tackle. But I loved the concept there. You've just converted a huge 3rd and long. Rather than take a moment to gain your bearings, you drop another bomb on them. Loved it.
Then on first down, the fake up the middle to Charles, when everyone in the stadium KNEW it was going to be a run ... and instead, its a wide receiver reverse to Bobby Wade that gains 8. Awesome. You could feel it, the rising optimism, the rising crowd noise. The nervous as all hell Steelers fans.
Two plays later, a shovel pass to Charles for the tying score. Haley admitted after the game that he'd been waiting all game to use that call. I'd say he picked the perfect time.
* Its at this point I get an "urgent" text from Brent. "you have no qb still time to put in mcnabb". I forgot we swung a deal this week that traded my starting QB to the Salty Bananas, and I didn't log into my team on Sunday morning because I was running late and forgot about it. Thankfully, McNabb was inserted into the starting lineup, and team tito should move on to 7-3-1 after tonight.
* Still plenty of time left for Pittsburgh though. Amazingly, the defense forced a three and out. "Is this for real? Are you kidding me?" All common phrases heard at this point. The Chiefs are getting the ball back with a shot to win! Short lived though. Chiefs also go 3 and out, and punt back after the two minute warning. Roethlisberger opens the drive at his own 20, 1:47 and two timeouts to go, only needing a field goal. First down, one of the craziest sacks I've ever seen, Derrick Johnson literally riding the back of a hunched over offensive lineman, reaching out, grabbing Roethlisberger's jersey, and somehow, through sheer determination, dragging him to the ground. Arrowhead is going crazy! But, since it is the Chiefs ... illegal contact. Why in the hell Wallace Gilberry was on the field, let alone in pass coverage, is beyond me. (To be fair, prior to yesterday, I did not know we had a player named Wallace Gilberry on the roster). But that negated the sack. Roethlisberger does what he does best: drives the Steelers. They get to the Chiefs 43, facing a 3rd and 5, a little over a minute to go. Time to stand guys. The crowd noise at this point was just unreal. At this point, I had the same thoughts flashing through my head that I did for the KU / MU game last year. "Yeah, I want my team to win, but holy crap, this game has been way too good to end with something shady". The only thing I didn't want was some amped up Chiefs defender committing a pass interference call.
* So Roethlisberger drops back, and the blitz just engulfs him. Down goes Ben! I believe there were :57 remaining when he went down. The Chiefs had one timeout left.
And never used it.
(steve getting really angry) Todd, you did a tremendous job of coaching yesterday. Really, you did. (Well, once someone knocked you with a 2x4 in the head at halftime and convinced you to open things up). But your clock management skills are worse than piss poor. Herm's were piss poor. Yours are 1,000 times worse.
You completely f*cked up the closing drives of BOTH halves yesterday. Completely FUBAR'd them. I'm not saying the Chiefs would have driven to try the game winning field goal had we called that timeout with :57 to go. But we'd have gotten the ball back with about :50 left, at our own 20. 40 yards in 49 seconds. The way the passing game was flowing in that fourth quarter, you mean to tell me we couldn't have at least made it interesting?
* Steelers win the coin flip. I did the research this morning, Chiefs overtime games in the 2000s prior to yesterday. Here's the list:
1/2/00: Raiders 41, at Chiefs 38.
9/10/00: at Titans 17, Chiefs 14.
9/9/01: Raiders 27, at Chiefs 24.
12/16/01: at Chiefs 26, broncos 23.
9/22/02: at Patriots 41, Chiefs 38.
10/20/02: broncos 37, at Chiefs 34.
10/12/03: Chiefs 40, at Packers 34.
9/17/06: at broncos 9, Chiefs 6.
12/3/06: at Browns 31, Chiefs 28.
12/30/07: at Jets 13, Chiefs 10.
11/2/08: Bucs 30, at Chiefs 27.
11/11/09: Cowboys 26, at Chiefs 20.
Call me crazy, but when you're 2-9 in the decade in overtime, why wouldn't you stop that clock and try to win it in regulation? Dumb, dumb move by Todd Haley. Thankfully, he got away with it.
* Steelers open with a couple nice runs, a short pass to Hines Ward, and have a 2nd and 3 at their own 40. Ben scrambles, and is taken down. Hard. Replays show he pretty much got kneed in the head. I turn to the Steelers fan behind me and ask "who's the backup QB", because I truly have no clue. Turns out ... its Charlie Batch! I think at this point, all of Arrowhead was breathing a sigh of relief. Considering the Steelers were flagged for a blatant hold on the play, they've now got 2nd and 13 at their own 30, and Chuck Batch is under center.
* Three plays later, the Steelers have 3rd and 2 at the Chiefs 35. Seems Chuck Batch had no problems moving the ball against our defense. Shocking, I know. I get why the Steelers called a run in this spot. What I don't get is why they called the running play they did (a pitch to Moore). If anything, you just pound it up the middle there. You need two yards for the first down. No matter what though, you CANNOT lose yardage because you're right on the edge of trying the field goal. Its a 53 yarder at that point. If you lose yardage, you'll have to punt. That's why a pitch made no sense. Belcher just swallowed it up, Steelers lose 4, and in comes the punter.
* Having said that, why didn't the Steelers go ahead and try the field goal anyways? It would have been a 57 yard attempt, but there was no wind in that stadium, you've got a rock solid kicker with a good leg in Jeff Reed, and the ensuing punt only netted you 18 yards anyways. Plus there's that pesky little detail known as "if the kick was good, we win the game". I'd have at least lined up in the field goal formation, if only to pooch punt it. That seems to me to be a better play that letting the punter boom it into the end zone.
* Chiefs take over at their own 20. Jamaal Charles goes offtackle on first down ... and keeps going ... and keeps going ... he turned what should have been a 1, 2 yard gain into a gain of 11 and a first down. And then came the understated, undervalued, however you want to phrase it, THE key play of the game.
On 2nd and 5 (I think, it was 5 or 6 yards to go after the short pass to Pope on first down), Cassel drops back to pass and airs it out for Chambers deep. The Steelers defender is there just waiting for it. Its a layup interception. Only Chris Chambers never gave up on it, and somehow managed to knock the pass out of the defenders hands and onto the ground. I have no idea how that pass was incomplete. No idea. But Chambers made the play. Which set up ...
* 3rd and 5 at the Chiefs 36. Cassel calls a short, simple crossing route for Chambers, designed to get the first down, which he does. Only, he keeps going. And keeps going. And doesn't stop until he's at the Steelers 4! (dan dierdorf voice) Just a simple little flare ... Arrowhead was rocking now. Out comes Ryan Succup and Dusty C for the field goal attempt. I hit my knees in the traditional section 132 manner. The snap, the hold, the kick, its good! Chiefs win!
* The first thing I did, after the congratulatory hugs, high fives, and "wohoo!"s, was grab that red towel thingy, and just start waving it and chanting "Here we go Steelers, Here we go!" You're damned right I went there. I was a model of civility for 3 1/2 hours around thousands of annoying as f*ck Steelers fans. If you're gonna give it guys, be ready to take it.
(Although to be fair, I did simply congratulate the Steelers fan in front of me for a good game. He and his wife were perfectly acceptable football fans. It was the four loudmouthed drunks behind us that p*ssed me off. Especially the large blonde chick who kept screeching at every play, good or bad. Yes, screeching. I made sure I waved the towel in her face).
* The next thing, a congratulatory moment with the old roommate and his family. It was a relief to see that I wasn't the only one who had, uuh, some redness in their eyes.
* The walk up the ramp after a win is one of my favorite moments of the Arrowhead Experience. The jubilation, the chanting, the Tomahawk Chop, just beautiful. Oh, and with another accessory too. God love him, there was one person there yesterday who believed we'd win. Monty brought in the victory cigars. Rarely has a cigarillo tasted as good as that one did on the walk back to the buses.
* I finally get back up to the buses, and I'm pretty much one of the last ones to arrive. The celebratory high five with Dusty. Me noting that "the last time we won a home game, we hadn't even met each other yet" to Kellie and Katie. The hug with Mona. Then Sheila broke out the bubbly. Dusty lobbied for Monty to break out the stereo. Yeah, we weren't going anywhere for a while.
* After about an hour of postgame tailgating, it was off to Russ and Mona's for more, uuh, postgame tailgating. Seeing the donkeys get killed at home never gets old, even if I do want them to win this division if we can't (and I'm guessing at 3-7, 4 games behind San Diego with 6 to go, that we can't).
* Finally got home about 7pm last night. Sadly, there were no crazy post-game antics to report this week. No nudity in the hot tub, no falling down drunk on the stairs, just good times over some good booze and some tremendous Philly cheesesteaks. Anyways, after getting home, I poured myself a celebratory vodka and apple juice (highly underrated mixer, and believe me, I've tried mixing vodka with just about everything known to man) and crawled into bed to watch "The Amazing Race" and some football. And within 10 minutes, I fell asleep. I was just spent. (That, or intoxicated. Possibly both). Slept straight through until 7:32 this morning, which is what I set the alarm for last night. (Yeah, I'm leaning "intoxicated" at this point, definitely).
Still, what a great capper to a great weekend. I still need to recap the initial BuKCs party of 2009-2010, that was tremendous fun on Friday night. But this recap comes first. Because it was a
* Victory Sunday! I could definitely get used to a few more of these ...
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