Wow, three straight days with a post? You'd think football season was coming around or something.
Oh.
As always ... ok, for the second time ever, these are "fake questions" by "real readers" of the blog. Wait, they are real readers, for the most part, probably shouldn't have put that in quotes ...
* "Is there anything you wish you could change about Kansas City?" -- Mona H, Raytown.
Well, actually, there is, now that you mention it. And its a big time pet peeve of mine.
Name the freaking freeways already!
I'm sure each freeway has some "official" name that has a sign and crap around it. But other than 69 through Overland Park (lamely named the "Overland Parkway"), what freaking freeway in this city has a name attached to it in a traffic report?
That's part of the beauty of Dallas, of Chicago, of LA. They all have names for their traffic nightmares.
I figure we have (at least) 10 stretches of freeway to name in this town. Nine of them are up for naming rights:
* I-35 on the Missouri side.
* I-35 on the Kansas side.
* US 69 on the Kansas side (the "Overland Parkway").
* I-435 around the city.
* I-470.
* I-635, both sides of the state line.
* Missouri 152.
* Kansas 7.
* Missouri 291.
All heavily traveled freeways that need a name.
But where you have to start is the 10th stretch, unnamed above. A stretch that the name so fits, it has to stick.
* I-70 in Missouri. Has to be "The Dred". Named after Dred Scott, of course, the abused, mistreated slave whose plight should taint the state of Missouri forever. But think about it. People on our side of the state / metro area "dred" heading east, because you have to go through Columbia (Jayhawk fans) and St. Louis (anyone with a brain). People on the other side of the state "dred" heading west, because you have to go through Columbia (Illini fans), and Kansas City (anyone hailing from the wannabe Chicago). And if you actually want to go to Columbia, well, most folks on either side of the state "dred" you.
Seriously, how has this not happened?
I-70 in Missouri is now known as "The Dred". Done and done. Next query.
* "This 300,001st ounce tailgate ... no sh*t? 300,001 ounces?" -- Ashley K, Shawnee.
According to the trained professionals ... ok, the friends with adding machines, I actually hit the mark last week Friday. So its a belated tailgate. But seriously, 300,000 ounces of booze in only 15 years of drinking. That's ... sweet Jesus, that's a serious health risk. That alone should mandate you show up!
* "How weird will it be to cheer a visiting player in two weeks"? -- Gregg G, Bonner Springs.
Not half as weird as having you in "my" section for the foreseeable future. I just hope you have a comfortable pair of shoes. (joe biden voice) We don't sit in 132, pal.
Seriously, this is going to be ... uuh, insane? (arguably) THE two biggest Chiefs die-hards I know ... former roommates, best pals ... now sitting literally a couple rows apart? How could you NOT want to move down to 132 for games this year?
* "Did you see Scott Howard-Cooper's column on Brandon Jennings? Good stuff"! -- Drew K, Shawnee.
Yup. Almost as good as a chilled bottle of Relax Riesling and a Macanudo Maduro on a 72 degree July evening. Ooh! Speaking of "Riesling" ...
* "Can he do it? Can Todd Reesing win the Heisman"? -- Heath C, Harrisonville.
No. He can, however, go 11-3, win the Big XII North, earn a Big XII Title Game berth, win a Holiday Bowl over Cal, Oregon, or Arizona State (whoever's USC's first b*tch this fall), and position himself as a Day 3 NFL Draft pick if some team wises up to what the NFL will look like in 4 years. To say nothing of completely, for once and all, legitimizing Kansas Football for years to come. Which reminds me, I got this "inquiry" as well:
* "Is Todd Reesing the single most influential person to ever step foot on the University of Kansas' campus in the last 20 years"? -- Mark M, Lawrence.
* "I tell you, that Todd Riesling kid, is tougher than $2 steak night at the Sizzler. And I'm a biased OU fan dreading my quad-annual trip to Memorial Stadium this fall" -- Good Ol' JR, Norman, OK.
* "The KU girls ... puppies!" -- The King, Jerry Lawler, Memphis, TN.
* "They're stacked, man. Stacked"! -- Justin B, Olathe.
* "KU girls ... sweet Jesus. I'd so go back. For just one weekend. Just one f*cking weekend". -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
* "Hey! Focus on my question! Forget how insanely hot KU girls are! And how much more slutty, hot, and easily available they are than when you reached college 15 years ago! Todd Reesing! Guttiest guy I know! Is he the best thing to step foot on campus in the last 20 years! (towel snap!)" -- Mark M, Lawrence.
I can't believe I'm saying this ... yes. Yes. 1,000 times yes. Hell f*cking yes.
Name me one person who has had a bigger impact on that university in 20 years than Todd Reesing. Name just one.
Todd Reesing stepped into an impossible, almost gravestone worthy situation ... and has gone 20-6 as a starter. He's staring a 10-4, 11-3 season the face. He's the ONLY quarterback in KU history to take his school to back-to-back bowl games. He's got a damned good shot at being the starting QB in 2 BCS bowl games in 3 years. For a f*cking doormat of a program as recently as 5 years ago.
Todd gets my vote, "Coach". Although "you" have a legitimate argument, as does AD Lew Perkins. Moving on:
* "Really? Every weekend for, like, a decade? You can drink that much, play that much volleyball, and STILL make work on Monday in functional shape? How? How the hell is that possible"? -- Katie H, Lenexa.
Years of practice, chica. That, and the genetics of an alcoholic family.
* "So, this "Dusty should bring a change of clothes" comment. It WAS a joke, right? Right"? -- Kellie B, KC KS.
Absolutely. Nothing but harmless word play.
* "You're sure"? -- Dusty J, Independence.
Absolutely. Nothing but harmless word play.
* "So you have a sign in mind"? -- Russ H, Raytown.
Wouldn't have it any other way.
OK, lighting round:
* "Did Montoya deserve the penalty? (string of expletives) the Car of Tomorrow"! -- Gus B, Raytown.
Yes, he deserved it. It sucks, history would have ruled over the crap that happened, but he deserved it.
And yes, the Car of Tomorrow is a (string of expletives).
* "Favorite song of 2009 so far"? -- Jason H, Overland Park.
"Funny The Way It Is" by Dave Matthews band. Its the best song he's done since "The Space Between Us". Its the best CD they've put out since the duet deal with just him and Tim Reynolds at Luther College. Awesome, awesome, awesome stuff.
* "What day are you most anticipating next month"? -- Jenni G-R, Canton, IL.
Easy. August 15. Your return. Your family's return. Your brother triumphantly taking the field at Arrowhead. But best of all ... the day Time Warner gets kicked to the curb, and, well, I'll let another good friend take this answer home:
* "Finally! DirecTV! Has come back ... to Steve's Apartment! If you Smmmmmmmmm-elllllll ... what the Rock ... is Cooking"! -- The Rock, parts unknown.
I still want to know what the hell happened to our old "Smell What the Rock is Cooking" picture in the old kitchen.
* "A three part finale"! -- loyal readers, everywhere.
OK.
1. "You've hit the one year anniversary of the site. As your most loyal reader, fan, and friend ... what is your favorite post you've ever published"? -- Gregg G, Bonner Springs.
This one. No brainer.
2. "This is post 198. Do you have anything special planned for Post 200"? -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
Maybe. I've got a few ideas floating in my head that have yet to materialize.
3. "We ARE doing trivia again between golf and bowling, right"? -- Damien J, Midtown.
Christ, I hope so.
Showing posts with label i'm still here. Show all posts
Showing posts with label i'm still here. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
the fake mailbag 1.0
My favorite column the Sports Guy writes is his "mailbag" columns, with "actual emails" from "actual readers".
Since I've got nothing better to do, I figured I'd blatantly plagerize the genre. As always, these are "actual emails" from my "actual readers". If you didn't appear, I apologize, I'll try to do better in version 2.0 ...
* "What are your thoughts on the Bucks first round draft pick (Brandon Jennings)?" -- Damien J, Midtown.
My thought is, its the best we could do.
There were three guys I really wanted at 10. Jordan Hill (F) from Arizona, DeMar DeRozan (G) from USC, and Jonny Flynn (G) from the 'Cuse! All three were gone before the Bucks went on the clock.
I was "watching" the draft at a family dinner. By "watching", I mean, my brother and I were staring intently at the TV in the corner, trying to figure out who picked who. After DeRozan went 9, I said "I want Jennings". I got my wish.
My thoughts on the pick are this: its the ultimate gamble. For that, I love it. This is THE home run swing of the draft. If Brandon Jennings plays to his potential, the Bucks have just drafted the face of the franchise for a decade or more. He's that talented. If he plays like a 19 year old for a few years, then its a catastrophe. But this is exactly what Milwaukee has to do to get back into the upper echelon of the Eastern Conference: take risks. Take gambles. I liked the pick for that reason alone, the Bucks took a chance at greatness rather than settling for mediocrity (like Austin Daye from Gonzaga or (gag me) Tyler Hansbrough from UNC).
* "What day this summer are you most looking forward to?" -- Megan K, Berlin.
Well, the obvious answer is, your homecoming tailgate in two weeks. But man, what a lineup still awaits the stretch run!
The Royals tailgate on the 18th for your homecoming. The first "Drew and Steve Tailgate the K! Who passes out drunk first!!!" day since Ayden was born the next day (email invites coming soon). The "100,000th oz / 250,000th oz / 300,000th oz / Not even Jesus can keep track of the oz this is" tailgate for me on the 24th! The Brickyard the week after that. Dave Matthews and Willie Nelson to close the summer out September 30th.
But without question, the answer is August 15th. The Chiefs preseason opener. Against Boomer Grigsby and the Houston Texans. I'm so stoked that I can hardly contain myself. If only it was a double-header day (damned Sports Complex remodel making that impossible for another year ...)
* "Are you still listening to that Nate Matthewson guy?" -- Gregg G, Bonner Springs.
Hell yes I am.
I'm up to a baker's dozen "will not delete" songs by him on the iPod: "I Saw", "Curve of the Earth", "Bent", "All Been Said Before", "Fall to Pieces", "More Than This", "Philadelphia Song", "Answering Machine", "Suspended", "Car Crash", "Falling Apart", "Heartbreak World", and of course, (mr. nathanson at the bottleneck last november voice) "the song, 'Come On Get Higher' (crowd voice) woo!". I haven't been this into an artist or band since ... uuh ... maybe Linkin Park when "Hybrid Theory" came out?
And oh yeah. I took your advice, and listened to the Sugarland version of "Come On Get Higher". I gotta be honest, I love Matt Nathanson's version. It's way better. The lyrics are just so amazing, just such a f*cking turn on when sung right ... and she kind of gets it. Not bad. Worth the listen, at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4dSHfe_HHQ
* "Your thoughts on Bill Weber getting sh*t canned by TNT?" -- Brett H, Harrisonville.
My thoughts? The guy just got fired for (allegedly) getting into a late night hotel bar fight! That's friggin awesome! My only thought is that I might need to rethink my position on him from my "Steve and Brett Broadcast NASCAR" proposal from three years ago:
-----
b. I am my audience. I think this is the biggest reason why TNT's broadcast blows. (Well that, and the total lack of talent they possess). Can you picture Bill Weber in the stands, shirt off, working his way through a 20 pack of Bud Light, cursing during driver intros, and just being a completely degenerate drunken idiot for an afternoon? Hell no.
But can you picture me doing that? I mean, seriously, (irl promo voice) I am NASCAR! I'm the fat overweight guy in the "more we get together" commercial whose chugging a Bud Light, using the binoculars to check out the rack in 115 ... I mean, the wreck in turn 2, and has the look of a drunken idiot who hasn't seen a shower in a week. I'm that guy. That's who the fans want to listen to, not some preppy white guy in a suit who reads off a teleprompter.
-----
Yeah. I'm that guy, with the shirt off, the beer in one hand, the jello shot in the other, screaming "woo!" every lap. Jesus, Indy can't get here soon enough. On to the next question, which coincidentally comes from another racing fan:
* "What do you think of Tony Stewart leading the points at this point?" -- Darren B, Raytown.
Its unbelievable. This is THE second biggest story in racing this year, behind Tony George hitting the curb with a "confident and classy" quote hanging in the background. The guy leaves one of NASCAR's power teams, forms his own team by buying out one of the also-rans ... and he's leading the friggin series in points, and is pretty much a lock for the Chase. And he's peaking heading to his favorite track. My head is spinning. Let's move on.
* "What Chiefs game are you most looking forward to this fall?" -- Kellie B, KCK.
Wait. This is an actual question? The answer is ALWAYS "denver". The fact that Derrick Thomas' number will be formally retired has nothing to do with the answer, although it does strengthen it. And that reminds me ...
Why isn't 37 "officially" retired? I get that nobody has worn 37 since Joe Delaney heroically gave his life so that 3 young boys could live. But really, why isn't 37 OFFICIALLY retired? Someday in the future, some idiot is going to come along and take 37. And I'm going to be pissed as holy hell when he does. This is insane, One Arrowhead Drive. The man died so that others might live. The Ring of Honor is nice. A permanent retirement of the number is LONG overdue. Let's rectify this in 2010, ok?
* "You promise you won't lock my girlfriend in a port-a-potty and tip her over for that denver game, right? Right? Come on Stevo! Give me this at least!" -- Dusty J, Independence.
I promise that I, and my tailgating group, will show her the same respect, love, and admiration of her fanhood that we showed Russ at Texas Stadium four years ago. On that, you have my solemn vow.
* "But wait, you slapped a "he's really a Chiefs fan" Arrowhead on Russ, mocked him the whole walk in, and kept laughing at him in the pisser until midway through the second quarter, when he figured it out! So you're saying?" -- Tracey J, Raytown.
I'm saying, I will treat every denver fan at our tailgate with the same level of admiration, love, and respect that we showed Russ at Texas Stadium four years ago.
* "So you're saying, Dusty should bring a change of clothes." -- Mark S, South KC.
Bingo.
* "That's not cool." -- Carlito, Stamford CT.
Hey, my favorite wrestler checks in! Wait, Carlito is still wrestling, right? Its been like 3 years since I tuned into RAW ...
* "So what TV show are you most looking forward to this fall?" -- Frank L, Dallas.
Well, the obvious answer is, the final 18 episodes of "Lost" ... but nope. How can you top the return of my absolute favorite sleazy show from my high school and college years?
Melrose 2.0!!!
With Dr. Michael Mancini on board to boot!
You rate my household, champ, that show vaults to number one overnight. Especially if season one is really about "who actually killed Sydney", as is rumored to be the case ...
* "Are you ready to abandon the ship yet? This team (expletives deleted)!" -- Phil S, Overland Park.
No.
* "Really? Are you f*cking retarded? Dude, the season's over! Time to focus on football!" -- Heath C, Harrisonville.
I am not mentally challeged due to physical defect. And the season is NOT over. Its in trouble, but not over.
* "Come on. You're just saying that so that you can get my better half's jello shots a couple more times this summer." -- Scott H, Liberty.
Wow, am I that obvious?
* "Your thoughts on KU Football this fall." -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
Should go 4-0 non con. I love that 3 of our 4 non-cons are nationally televised ... but love even more that 2 of our 3 home non-cons start before noon! Hooray getting some sun in September! I look at the conference schedule like this:
Will win: vs ISU
Should win: at ksu, vs Nebraska, at Colorado
Coin flip: at Texas Tech, vs mizzou
Should lose: vs OU
Will lose: at Texas.
We split the coin flips, that should get us a tie for the North with Nebraska (who has OU at home, Tech at home, and OSU on the road, plus at mizzou, at KU). And a date in Reliant Stadium for the Big XII Title and a BCS berth for the 2nd time in 3 years. Seriously, pinch me already. Kansas Freaking Jayhawk Football is a contender for a BCS bowl! For the 2nd time in 3 years! This is just unreal.
* "How did you all not leave me at 311 last year?" -- Chris N, Plaza.
I have no idea pal. I don't even remember driving home. All I know is, when Dusty hands me back the keys because I'm the most sober of the bunch, that is NOT a good sign.
* "You still want the pic of me in the t-shirt turban with you at that concert?" -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
F*ck yes I do! I've been asking for a copy of that for a year now pal! Come on. OK, lighting round.
* "Gut feeling, Chiefs record." -- Anthony V, Columbus Park.
2006 all over again. 9-7, steal a wildcard berth based on conference record (and a huge early December home win over Buffalo), and everyone else in the AFC bashing their heads against each other.
* "Gut feeling, NFL playoff teams three months before kickoff." -- Vineet T, Queens, NY.
NFC: Division champs Eagles, Bears, Saints, Seahawks; wildcard Cowboys, Redskins.
AFC: Division champs Patriots, Steelers, Texans, Chargers; wildcard Ravens, Chiefs.
Super Bowl: Eagles over Steelers.
* "So why do you hate my wife so much?" -- Jasson W, Lenexa.
Because the Jasson I once knew and loved was hit repeatedly by a tire iron in the nuts by her. And because I hate half-eaten bags of Oreo's as a "tailgating contribution". No matter how bad off I am, I always bring a fresh bag champ. Always.
Finally ...
* "I no longer have to text "take your shirt off!" to you at Chiefs games!!! I can now yell it at you from 7 rows back!!!" -- Ashley G, Bonner Springs.
Doll, if you want to yell "take your shirt off!" to me at ANY point in time when its above 75 and sunny in that stadium, I am more than willing to meet my readers demands ...
Since I've got nothing better to do, I figured I'd blatantly plagerize the genre. As always, these are "actual emails" from my "actual readers". If you didn't appear, I apologize, I'll try to do better in version 2.0 ...
* "What are your thoughts on the Bucks first round draft pick (Brandon Jennings)?" -- Damien J, Midtown.
My thought is, its the best we could do.
There were three guys I really wanted at 10. Jordan Hill (F) from Arizona, DeMar DeRozan (G) from USC, and Jonny Flynn (G) from the 'Cuse! All three were gone before the Bucks went on the clock.
I was "watching" the draft at a family dinner. By "watching", I mean, my brother and I were staring intently at the TV in the corner, trying to figure out who picked who. After DeRozan went 9, I said "I want Jennings". I got my wish.
My thoughts on the pick are this: its the ultimate gamble. For that, I love it. This is THE home run swing of the draft. If Brandon Jennings plays to his potential, the Bucks have just drafted the face of the franchise for a decade or more. He's that talented. If he plays like a 19 year old for a few years, then its a catastrophe. But this is exactly what Milwaukee has to do to get back into the upper echelon of the Eastern Conference: take risks. Take gambles. I liked the pick for that reason alone, the Bucks took a chance at greatness rather than settling for mediocrity (like Austin Daye from Gonzaga or (gag me) Tyler Hansbrough from UNC).
* "What day this summer are you most looking forward to?" -- Megan K, Berlin.
Well, the obvious answer is, your homecoming tailgate in two weeks. But man, what a lineup still awaits the stretch run!
The Royals tailgate on the 18th for your homecoming. The first "Drew and Steve Tailgate the K! Who passes out drunk first!!!" day since Ayden was born the next day (email invites coming soon). The "100,000th oz / 250,000th oz / 300,000th oz / Not even Jesus can keep track of the oz this is" tailgate for me on the 24th! The Brickyard the week after that. Dave Matthews and Willie Nelson to close the summer out September 30th.
But without question, the answer is August 15th. The Chiefs preseason opener. Against Boomer Grigsby and the Houston Texans. I'm so stoked that I can hardly contain myself. If only it was a double-header day (damned Sports Complex remodel making that impossible for another year ...)
* "Are you still listening to that Nate Matthewson guy?" -- Gregg G, Bonner Springs.
Hell yes I am.
I'm up to a baker's dozen "will not delete" songs by him on the iPod: "I Saw", "Curve of the Earth", "Bent", "All Been Said Before", "Fall to Pieces", "More Than This", "Philadelphia Song", "Answering Machine", "Suspended", "Car Crash", "Falling Apart", "Heartbreak World", and of course, (mr. nathanson at the bottleneck last november voice) "the song, 'Come On Get Higher' (crowd voice) woo!". I haven't been this into an artist or band since ... uuh ... maybe Linkin Park when "Hybrid Theory" came out?
And oh yeah. I took your advice, and listened to the Sugarland version of "Come On Get Higher". I gotta be honest, I love Matt Nathanson's version. It's way better. The lyrics are just so amazing, just such a f*cking turn on when sung right ... and she kind of gets it. Not bad. Worth the listen, at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4dSHfe_HHQ
* "Your thoughts on Bill Weber getting sh*t canned by TNT?" -- Brett H, Harrisonville.
My thoughts? The guy just got fired for (allegedly) getting into a late night hotel bar fight! That's friggin awesome! My only thought is that I might need to rethink my position on him from my "Steve and Brett Broadcast NASCAR" proposal from three years ago:
-----
b. I am my audience. I think this is the biggest reason why TNT's broadcast blows. (Well that, and the total lack of talent they possess). Can you picture Bill Weber in the stands, shirt off, working his way through a 20 pack of Bud Light, cursing during driver intros, and just being a completely degenerate drunken idiot for an afternoon? Hell no.
But can you picture me doing that? I mean, seriously, (irl promo voice) I am NASCAR! I'm the fat overweight guy in the "more we get together" commercial whose chugging a Bud Light, using the binoculars to check out the rack in 115 ... I mean, the wreck in turn 2, and has the look of a drunken idiot who hasn't seen a shower in a week. I'm that guy. That's who the fans want to listen to, not some preppy white guy in a suit who reads off a teleprompter.
-----
Yeah. I'm that guy, with the shirt off, the beer in one hand, the jello shot in the other, screaming "woo!" every lap. Jesus, Indy can't get here soon enough. On to the next question, which coincidentally comes from another racing fan:
* "What do you think of Tony Stewart leading the points at this point?" -- Darren B, Raytown.
Its unbelievable. This is THE second biggest story in racing this year, behind Tony George hitting the curb with a "confident and classy" quote hanging in the background. The guy leaves one of NASCAR's power teams, forms his own team by buying out one of the also-rans ... and he's leading the friggin series in points, and is pretty much a lock for the Chase. And he's peaking heading to his favorite track. My head is spinning. Let's move on.
* "What Chiefs game are you most looking forward to this fall?" -- Kellie B, KCK.
Wait. This is an actual question? The answer is ALWAYS "denver". The fact that Derrick Thomas' number will be formally retired has nothing to do with the answer, although it does strengthen it. And that reminds me ...
Why isn't 37 "officially" retired? I get that nobody has worn 37 since Joe Delaney heroically gave his life so that 3 young boys could live. But really, why isn't 37 OFFICIALLY retired? Someday in the future, some idiot is going to come along and take 37. And I'm going to be pissed as holy hell when he does. This is insane, One Arrowhead Drive. The man died so that others might live. The Ring of Honor is nice. A permanent retirement of the number is LONG overdue. Let's rectify this in 2010, ok?
* "You promise you won't lock my girlfriend in a port-a-potty and tip her over for that denver game, right? Right? Come on Stevo! Give me this at least!" -- Dusty J, Independence.
I promise that I, and my tailgating group, will show her the same respect, love, and admiration of her fanhood that we showed Russ at Texas Stadium four years ago. On that, you have my solemn vow.
* "But wait, you slapped a "he's really a Chiefs fan" Arrowhead on Russ, mocked him the whole walk in, and kept laughing at him in the pisser until midway through the second quarter, when he figured it out! So you're saying?" -- Tracey J, Raytown.
I'm saying, I will treat every denver fan at our tailgate with the same level of admiration, love, and respect that we showed Russ at Texas Stadium four years ago.
* "So you're saying, Dusty should bring a change of clothes." -- Mark S, South KC.
Bingo.
* "That's not cool." -- Carlito, Stamford CT.
Hey, my favorite wrestler checks in! Wait, Carlito is still wrestling, right? Its been like 3 years since I tuned into RAW ...
* "So what TV show are you most looking forward to this fall?" -- Frank L, Dallas.
Well, the obvious answer is, the final 18 episodes of "Lost" ... but nope. How can you top the return of my absolute favorite sleazy show from my high school and college years?
Melrose 2.0!!!
With Dr. Michael Mancini on board to boot!
You rate my household, champ, that show vaults to number one overnight. Especially if season one is really about "who actually killed Sydney", as is rumored to be the case ...
* "Are you ready to abandon the ship yet? This team (expletives deleted)!" -- Phil S, Overland Park.
No.
* "Really? Are you f*cking retarded? Dude, the season's over! Time to focus on football!" -- Heath C, Harrisonville.
I am not mentally challeged due to physical defect. And the season is NOT over. Its in trouble, but not over.
* "Come on. You're just saying that so that you can get my better half's jello shots a couple more times this summer." -- Scott H, Liberty.
Wow, am I that obvious?
* "Your thoughts on KU Football this fall." -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
Should go 4-0 non con. I love that 3 of our 4 non-cons are nationally televised ... but love even more that 2 of our 3 home non-cons start before noon! Hooray getting some sun in September! I look at the conference schedule like this:
Will win: vs ISU
Should win: at ksu, vs Nebraska, at Colorado
Coin flip: at Texas Tech, vs mizzou
Should lose: vs OU
Will lose: at Texas.
We split the coin flips, that should get us a tie for the North with Nebraska (who has OU at home, Tech at home, and OSU on the road, plus at mizzou, at KU). And a date in Reliant Stadium for the Big XII Title and a BCS berth for the 2nd time in 3 years. Seriously, pinch me already. Kansas Freaking Jayhawk Football is a contender for a BCS bowl! For the 2nd time in 3 years! This is just unreal.
* "How did you all not leave me at 311 last year?" -- Chris N, Plaza.
I have no idea pal. I don't even remember driving home. All I know is, when Dusty hands me back the keys because I'm the most sober of the bunch, that is NOT a good sign.
* "You still want the pic of me in the t-shirt turban with you at that concert?" -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
F*ck yes I do! I've been asking for a copy of that for a year now pal! Come on. OK, lighting round.
* "Gut feeling, Chiefs record." -- Anthony V, Columbus Park.
2006 all over again. 9-7, steal a wildcard berth based on conference record (and a huge early December home win over Buffalo), and everyone else in the AFC bashing their heads against each other.
* "Gut feeling, NFL playoff teams three months before kickoff." -- Vineet T, Queens, NY.
NFC: Division champs Eagles, Bears, Saints, Seahawks; wildcard Cowboys, Redskins.
AFC: Division champs Patriots, Steelers, Texans, Chargers; wildcard Ravens, Chiefs.
Super Bowl: Eagles over Steelers.
* "So why do you hate my wife so much?" -- Jasson W, Lenexa.
Because the Jasson I once knew and loved was hit repeatedly by a tire iron in the nuts by her. And because I hate half-eaten bags of Oreo's as a "tailgating contribution". No matter how bad off I am, I always bring a fresh bag champ. Always.
Finally ...
* "I no longer have to text "take your shirt off!" to you at Chiefs games!!! I can now yell it at you from 7 rows back!!!" -- Ashley G, Bonner Springs.
Doll, if you want to yell "take your shirt off!" to me at ANY point in time when its above 75 and sunny in that stadium, I am more than willing to meet my readers demands ...
Monday, June 29, 2009
the best of what's around
a few random thoughts, since I haven't posted in like 4 weeks:
* I have pretty much been listening to Michael Jackson non-stop since his passing. Saturday night, the "Party on the Porch", it was just amazing. The demographics were across the board: we had the 55+ crowd, the middle aged, the "I swear I'm still young (aka me)", and the actual yutes; we had black and white, gay and straight ... like we do every pool day ... and yet everyone was rocking out to Michael on the stereo. Well into the night.
My 5 favorite MJ songs, since nobody asked:
5. "Dirty Diana". Love this song. Absolutely love it. Anytime you can sing about a slutty stalker, I'm tuning in.
4. "We Are the World". Whatever you think of the song, if you're my age or older, there's no denying it absolutely captivated the world. To this day, anytime I hear this song on Sirius 8, I sing along to every word, noting each friggin artist as they come on. Maybe I obscess about this too much. But its a great song. There's a great article on ew.com right now interviewing Huey Lewis of all people on how this song went down that night. Awesome read.
3. "Man In the Mirror". Holy Lord, what an amazing song. I know "Black or White" and "Remember the Time" came later, but I'd argue this was his last earth-shattering single. Just tremendous. As much as I love "Praying for Time" by George Michael (released at just about the same time), this song so kicks its ass ... "I'm starting with the man in the mirror! I'm asking him to change his ways! And no message could have been any clearer! If you want to make the world a better place, take a look in the mirror, and make the change!"
2. "Smooth Criminal". THE single most underrated song he ever did. Its absolute genius. Absolute genius. The remake a few years ago by Alien Ant Farm tried ... but this is one song that the original can NEVER be topped. This is artistic genius at its finest. Absolute genius. (Good God, I'm channeling my inner James Lipton here, verbally fellating this thing. I don't care, its that damned awesome). If its possible, this is almost the first rap / rock fusion song, a solid 15 years before anyone even thought of the genre. Its just brilliance on display. Just brilliance.
But the best:
1. "Billie Jean". From the second you hear the opening beats, tell me you don't immediately start tapping your feet, nodding your head, snapping your fingers. You know every damned lyric to open the song, "She was more like a beauty queen / From a movie scene / I said don't mind but what do you mean / I am the one / Who will dance / On the floor / In the round ..."
Or even better, the first bridge: "People always told me / Be careful what you do / Don't go around breakin' young girls hearts! / And mother always told me / Be careful who you love / Be careful what you do / Before the lie becomes the truth ..."
(go ahead, start singing)
"Billie Jean is not my lover!
She's just a girl who
Claims that I am the one!
But the kid is not my son!
She says I am the one!
But the kid is not my son!"
Good God, I love that song. I love that artist. You will be missed sir. Rest in peace wherever you are.
* Really looking forward to July 18th. Megan's triumphant return to Kauffman Stadium! Yay! Its gonna rock the parking lot.
* Also looking forward to July 24th, the (depending on your accounting) 100,000th ounce (doubtful), 250,000th ounce (possible) or 300,000th ounce (yup) of alcohol consumed by Steve tailgate! Should be great. For everyone but my liver.
* Kasey Kahne only 1 friggin point out of the Chase. As close as you can get. Thankfully, he has three tracks this month he runs really well at (Daytona, Chicago, Indy) to make up the difference heading into the stretch run. I hope to be there at the last one to root him on to victory. Or to at least make fun of Gregg in the Old Spice gear he'll have to be decked out in ...
* I know I'm in the minority, but I don't think this season is over for the Boyz n Blue. We're home for pretty much the entire month of July. We need a solid homestand this week (aka 6-1, 5-2 at worst). But remember, 2003? We led the division by 7 1/2 games at the All Star Break. We last led the division on August 28th. Collapses happen. Comebacks happen. Just put yourself in a position to win. The last gasp homestand begins tonight. Let's get it done guys.
* P Diddy is in a better place. Am I sad to have to let him go? Sure. I cried leaving his new home. I cried the whole drive home. Hell, I cried the entire time I was taking him there, thinking every stoplight was the last time I'd reach back and pet him. But he's in a good place, and I have to believe he'll find a family that will give him the love, affection, and attention he deserves. He never would have made it here on the 2nd floor. So, you make "The Best of What's Around".
Speaking of which ... and the point of this post in the first place I guess ...
* Since its the elephant in the room apparently thanks to my Facebook update (thank you 8 friends and counting with the "you guys are fighting?!?!" emails ...) yes, I am very pissed off over the way things have gone down the last couple months. I am beyond pissed off. Quite honestly ... and since its my blog I can be "quite honest" I guess ... quite honestly, I'm not sure the last time I was as pissed off at someone as I am right now. Really, really pissed off is an understatement.
Having said that ... since I'm not a fighter, and I need to just end this before I become a friggin zombie from being so hate filled that I can't sleep ... sometimes Dave puts it best:
"See You and Me,
Have a Better Time Than Most Can Dream;
Have It Better Than The Best,
And So Can Pull on Through.
Whatever Tears At Us,
Whatever Holds Us Down,
If Nothing Can Be Done,
We'll Make the Best of What's Around ..."
I wish things had ended differently. I certainly wish things had been handled differently in the year leading up to the ending. But it is what it is. ("lost" voice) whatever happened, happened. So let's make "The Best of What's Around" for the rest of the summer, champ. And going forward to boot. If you hate me, if you're pissed at me, fine. I'm not quite sure why, but so be it. I choose to embrace the opposite of my feelings, and make "The Best of What's Around". I refuse to let a couple bad months ruin a couple great years. I hope you feel the same.
* Just gotta say, speaking of "The Best of What's Around", we're a mere 47 days from the preseason home opener! The Grigsby Clan back at Arrowhead! 105 and sunny! Just go ahead and book my reservation on Russ and Mona's couch now, I'm gonna need a pass out spot ...
* I have pretty much been listening to Michael Jackson non-stop since his passing. Saturday night, the "Party on the Porch", it was just amazing. The demographics were across the board: we had the 55+ crowd, the middle aged, the "I swear I'm still young (aka me)", and the actual yutes; we had black and white, gay and straight ... like we do every pool day ... and yet everyone was rocking out to Michael on the stereo. Well into the night.
My 5 favorite MJ songs, since nobody asked:
5. "Dirty Diana". Love this song. Absolutely love it. Anytime you can sing about a slutty stalker, I'm tuning in.
4. "We Are the World". Whatever you think of the song, if you're my age or older, there's no denying it absolutely captivated the world. To this day, anytime I hear this song on Sirius 8, I sing along to every word, noting each friggin artist as they come on. Maybe I obscess about this too much. But its a great song. There's a great article on ew.com right now interviewing Huey Lewis of all people on how this song went down that night. Awesome read.
3. "Man In the Mirror". Holy Lord, what an amazing song. I know "Black or White" and "Remember the Time" came later, but I'd argue this was his last earth-shattering single. Just tremendous. As much as I love "Praying for Time" by George Michael (released at just about the same time), this song so kicks its ass ... "I'm starting with the man in the mirror! I'm asking him to change his ways! And no message could have been any clearer! If you want to make the world a better place, take a look in the mirror, and make the change!"
2. "Smooth Criminal". THE single most underrated song he ever did. Its absolute genius. Absolute genius. The remake a few years ago by Alien Ant Farm tried ... but this is one song that the original can NEVER be topped. This is artistic genius at its finest. Absolute genius. (Good God, I'm channeling my inner James Lipton here, verbally fellating this thing. I don't care, its that damned awesome). If its possible, this is almost the first rap / rock fusion song, a solid 15 years before anyone even thought of the genre. Its just brilliance on display. Just brilliance.
But the best:
1. "Billie Jean". From the second you hear the opening beats, tell me you don't immediately start tapping your feet, nodding your head, snapping your fingers. You know every damned lyric to open the song, "She was more like a beauty queen / From a movie scene / I said don't mind but what do you mean / I am the one / Who will dance / On the floor / In the round ..."
Or even better, the first bridge: "People always told me / Be careful what you do / Don't go around breakin' young girls hearts! / And mother always told me / Be careful who you love / Be careful what you do / Before the lie becomes the truth ..."
(go ahead, start singing)
"Billie Jean is not my lover!
She's just a girl who
Claims that I am the one!
But the kid is not my son!
She says I am the one!
But the kid is not my son!"
Good God, I love that song. I love that artist. You will be missed sir. Rest in peace wherever you are.
* Really looking forward to July 18th. Megan's triumphant return to Kauffman Stadium! Yay! Its gonna rock the parking lot.
* Also looking forward to July 24th, the (depending on your accounting) 100,000th ounce (doubtful), 250,000th ounce (possible) or 300,000th ounce (yup) of alcohol consumed by Steve tailgate! Should be great. For everyone but my liver.
* Kasey Kahne only 1 friggin point out of the Chase. As close as you can get. Thankfully, he has three tracks this month he runs really well at (Daytona, Chicago, Indy) to make up the difference heading into the stretch run. I hope to be there at the last one to root him on to victory. Or to at least make fun of Gregg in the Old Spice gear he'll have to be decked out in ...
* I know I'm in the minority, but I don't think this season is over for the Boyz n Blue. We're home for pretty much the entire month of July. We need a solid homestand this week (aka 6-1, 5-2 at worst). But remember, 2003? We led the division by 7 1/2 games at the All Star Break. We last led the division on August 28th. Collapses happen. Comebacks happen. Just put yourself in a position to win. The last gasp homestand begins tonight. Let's get it done guys.
* P Diddy is in a better place. Am I sad to have to let him go? Sure. I cried leaving his new home. I cried the whole drive home. Hell, I cried the entire time I was taking him there, thinking every stoplight was the last time I'd reach back and pet him. But he's in a good place, and I have to believe he'll find a family that will give him the love, affection, and attention he deserves. He never would have made it here on the 2nd floor. So, you make "The Best of What's Around".
Speaking of which ... and the point of this post in the first place I guess ...
* Since its the elephant in the room apparently thanks to my Facebook update (thank you 8 friends and counting with the "you guys are fighting?!?!" emails ...) yes, I am very pissed off over the way things have gone down the last couple months. I am beyond pissed off. Quite honestly ... and since its my blog I can be "quite honest" I guess ... quite honestly, I'm not sure the last time I was as pissed off at someone as I am right now. Really, really pissed off is an understatement.
Having said that ... since I'm not a fighter, and I need to just end this before I become a friggin zombie from being so hate filled that I can't sleep ... sometimes Dave puts it best:
"See You and Me,
Have a Better Time Than Most Can Dream;
Have It Better Than The Best,
And So Can Pull on Through.
Whatever Tears At Us,
Whatever Holds Us Down,
If Nothing Can Be Done,
We'll Make the Best of What's Around ..."
I wish things had ended differently. I certainly wish things had been handled differently in the year leading up to the ending. But it is what it is. ("lost" voice) whatever happened, happened. So let's make "The Best of What's Around" for the rest of the summer, champ. And going forward to boot. If you hate me, if you're pissed at me, fine. I'm not quite sure why, but so be it. I choose to embrace the opposite of my feelings, and make "The Best of What's Around". I refuse to let a couple bad months ruin a couple great years. I hope you feel the same.
* Just gotta say, speaking of "The Best of What's Around", we're a mere 47 days from the preseason home opener! The Grigsby Clan back at Arrowhead! 105 and sunny! Just go ahead and book my reservation on Russ and Mona's couch now, I'm gonna need a pass out spot ...
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