“Away in a manger,
No crib for His bed.
The little Lord Jesus?
Laid down His sweet head.
The stars in the sky,
Looked down where He lay --
The little Lord Jesus?
Asleep on the hay.
The cattle are lowing;
The baby awakes.
But little Lord Jesus?
No crying He makes.
I love Thee, Lord Jesus!
Look down from the sky,
And stay by my cradle?
‘Til morning is nigh.
Be near me Lord Jesus --
I ask Thee to stay,
Close by me forever --
And love me, I pray.
Bless all the dear children,
In Thy tender care.
And take us to Heaven?
To live with Thee there …”
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Last Week SU: 8-6-0.
Season to Date SU: 97-63-0.
Last Week ATS: 7-6-1.
Season to Date ATS: 90-64-6.
Last Week Upset / Week: sweet merciful Jesus, Brett Hundley sucks.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 4-7 SU; 6-5 ATS.
This Week’s Upset / Week: I'm taking two, both of which will tremendously help the Red and Gold -- Cowboys (+1) over "Super" Chargers, and Texans (+7) over the Ravens.
The Non-Jets, Non-Chiefs Predictions:
* at Lions (+3) 31, Vikings 28.
* at Cowboys (+1) 34, “Super” Chargers 24.
* at Redskins (-7 ½) 28, Giants 13.
* at Bengals (-8) 24, Browns 14. “Good Times Game O’ The Week” honors.
* at Eagles (-13 ½) 44, Bears 13. “Webster Game O’ The Week” honors.
* at Patriots (-16) 41, Dolphins 20. “Designing Women Game O’ The Week” honors.
* at “Shane” Falcons 31, Bucs (+10 ½) 24.
* Titans (-3 ½) 27, at Colts 17.
* Seahawks (-7) 28, at 49ers 13. “ALF Game O’ The Week” honors.
* at Rams (-2 ½) 41, Saints 38 (OT).
* at “Super” Cardinals (+4 ½) 17, Jaguars 13. "Empty Nest Game O' The Week" honors.
* at raiders (-5) 38, those people 6.
* at Steelers 27, Packers (+14) 20.
* Texans (+7) 17, at Ravens 14 (OT).
The “Klassy” Kevin Keitzman Tweet O’ The Week:
If the President spared the White House turkeys, then I suppose the Kansas City metropolitan area’s biggest turkey can have the week off.
The Watching Party Plans:
There are no The Watching Party Plans, as this is a Chiefs game I will be in attendance at.
The Tailgating Plans:
It’s Kids Kook Krew Sunday! Anthony is making the buffalo wings (multiple varieties / flavors), I am making Taco Soup, Jaimmie and Miranda are making various side dishes, the lovely Alyssa is bringing the seven layer dip, and Ryan and Tyler are making the Gates run. Meanwhile, the "grown ups" get to sit around, slam beer and Fireball, and openly mock us trying to make everything work. Or basically, what our grandparents did to our parental units twenty years ago. You have to love it. (Especially if you aren't on the Kids Kook Krew.)
There’ll also be plenty of adult beverages available for your consumption. As always, anyone who desires to join us is always welcome to do so.
“Disreputable Mexican Food Truck” Update:
They had turkey tacos yesterday, in honor of the holiday to come. I have to admit, I’m not a big fan of turkey meat that’s ground up … but they were pretty damned good. If they want to add them to the regular menu, I’d try them a couple times a month.
Also, the Disreputable Greek Food Truck got the heave-ho by the cops. Apparently they weren’t bonded and licensed by the city. So we’re down to two -- Disreputable Mexican Food Truck and Disreputable Burger Truck.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: you can have the suburbs. Give me the city.
The Jets Best Guess:
Jersey Bob and Cousin Chase went to the Giants / Chiefs game last week. Their opinion of the game is frankly not printable, even on a not-exactly-family-friendly site like this one. I mention this, because as of now (unless something changes between now and Friday, when the go / no go decision is made based on my available bank balance after any major purchases are or aren’t, uuh, purchased on Friday) I’ll be in the Fake Meadowlands next Sunday with them.
Let’s hope next week goes better for the Red and Gold. And this week goes well for Gang Green. Before the fun-filled second “family reunion” occurs in Lot D on Sunday morning.
* at Jets (+4 ½) 24, Panthers 17.
The Chiefs Prognostication:
I feel like I need to talk you fans of the Red and Gold off the proverbial ledge, after last week’s utterly indefensible defeat to the woeful New York Giants. So allow me to say a few words, regarding how I feel about the Chiefs, as they enter the stretch run, ok?
(It’s my site; of COURSE it’s ok!)
Numero Uno: if the Chiefs were going to lose a game after the bye, this was the game to lose.
It wasn’t a conference game. It wasn’t a divisional game. It doesn’t affect tiebreakers in any way, shape, or form. It frankly is one of the two most meaningless games on the schedule (along with the roadie at Dallas).
Am I happy we lost? Of course not. But if we were going to drop one (and let’s face it -- most of us thought the Chiefs would drop at least one down the stretch), this was the one to drop.
Numero Dos: if the Chiefs win out at home, they win the AFC West.
That’s not a typo. If the Chiefs handle four teams, at home, all of whom are .500 or worse, in the next five weeks, they clinch the division no later than Week Sixteen. Because while the Chargers and raiders are both two back, if they both lose at Arrowhead, they lose the season tiebreaker to the Chiefs via divisional record (raiders) or head to head sweep (Chargers), and since they play each other in Week Seventeen, one of them is losing at least twice down the stretch. (I actually think the Chargers are a fraud about to be exposed … and I actually think the raiders are going to steal the six seed at 8-8, and be the Chiefs opening opponent in the playoffs.)
Numero Tres: the Chiefs ALWAYS lose one game they have no business losing.
It was true when Marty was here, true when Gun was here, true when Richard A. Vermeil was here, true when Herm and Haley and Coach Baffoon and now Fat Andy. They always lose one game that they have no business losing. Consider the previous twenty seasons:
2016: the Chiefs lost to a bad Titans team they led 14-0 in negative ten degree weather not even five minutes into the game; they lost by 29 to the Steelers (losing to them is defensible; losing by 29 is not).
2015: the Chiefs blew a two touchdown second half lead to a Bears team that would finish 3-13.
2014: 0-10 oakland. Enough said.
2013: the Chiefs didn’t suffer an embarrassing regular season loss -- all five (two to San Diego, two to those people, one to Indy) were to teams that reached the Divisional Round. But oy vey, that playoff game. Up 38-10 in the second half, and you lose? That’s an indefensible loss.
2012: a 1-6 raiders team won by 24 at Arrowhead.
2011: a 0-7 Dolphins team won by 28 at Arrowhead; a week later a tim tebow quarterbacked those people team won by double digits at Arrowhead.
2010: a raiders team playing for nothing won by 30 at Arrowhead; a 4-12 those people team that fired its coach in early December beat the Chiefs by 30 at fake mile high.
2009: a jamarcus russell quarterbacked raiders team won by double digits at Arrowhead.
2008: a jamarcus russell quarterbacked raiders team won by double digits at Arrowhead.
2007: the Chiefs were blown out by a 2-14 Texans squad; a jamarcus russell quarterbacked raiders team won by double digits at Arrowhead.
2006: a 2-9 Browns squad rallied from down 14 to beat the Chiefs in overtime.
2005: an Eagles team that finished 5-11 rallied from down 23 in the first half to win at Arrowhead.
2004: a 2-14 Texans squad won at Arrowhead; a 4-12 Saints squad beat the Chiefs out in the Dome.
2003: a horrible Vikings team beat the Chiefs by 30; a horrible Bengals team gave the Chiefs their first loss.
2002: honestly, none of the Chiefs defeats in 2002 was indefensible or embarrassing. The raiders won the AFC, those people (swept the Chiefs) were a wildcard squad, the Jaguars went .500, the Chargers went .500, the Seahawks won their division, the 49ers were a wildcard squad, and the Patriots were the defending Super Bowl champs and finished 9-7. Every team the Chiefs lost to finished at least .500. That’s defensible. Especially when you’re trotting out what still to this day is the statistical worst defense in NFL history.
2001: a 4-12 “Super” Cardinals squad won easily in the desert, a week after a 5-11 Colts squad won easily at Arrowhead.
2000: a 6-10 Bills squad won on a fake punt; a 4-12 “Shane” Falcons squad won by 22.
1999: Y2K Bowl. The single greatest sports “what if” of my life so far.
1998: The Monday Night Meltdown. Losing to the best team those people have ever had is defensible. Losing at home, by thirty, as your franchise player is brawling with classless jackass shannon sharpe, is not. (Solely and only because mr. sharpe left the field under his own power. He should have left in a body bag.) Also, a week later, the Craig Whelihan (who?) led “Super” Chargers rallied from down 20 with three to play to win by one.
1997: All three regular season losses came to teams that reached the playoffs (at those people, at Dolphins, at Jaguars). But the playoff defeat to those people? That’s NEVER defensible.
1996: blown out by an at the time 3-10 raiders squad; blown out at home by a 4-12 “Super” Chargers squad that led to the single dumbest decision of Marty’s coaching career (benching Bono for Gannon).
The point being?
Sh*t happens. And I’d personally prefer it happen in November, than January.
Numero Quatro: this is still a damned good football team.
They had one bad day folks. And even playing as (chuck barkley voice) TURRIBLE as they did on Sunday? They had the ball, in overtime, with a shot to win.
Numero Cinco: “Fat” Andy won’t let this spiral out of control.
Those people haven’t recovered from losing to the Giants -- they haven’t won since, and last week was the first time they were even remotely competitive since. In every season “Fat” Andy has coached in this league, you can only point to one (2005) where things spiraled out of control and into a dumpster fire. And folks, if you think that one season was “Fat” Andy’s fault, then you don’t remember Terrell Owens doing shirtless pushups in his driveway. Because TO destroyed that Eagles team (who immediately won the division again the following season, as they had the previous three seasons).
I’m not panicked yet. Neither should you be.
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So rather than stress on things we have no control over, focus on what matters at this time of year.
Embrace those you love. Be civil towards those you despise * . Throw a football with your son or nephew; schedule a tea with your daughter or nieces. Hug your parents -- no, really. Hug the hell out of your parents. Ever since October 6, 2013 happened, I have never failed to bear hug both of mine. Life is too godd*mned short to let the chance to express to those you love how you feel, pass you by.
Eat way too much. Pour that extra glass of pinot grigio or merlot (provided you aren’t driving, of course … or your name is Stevo, in which case, just double fist it). Buy that extra toy on Black Friday, and make it to Mass at least once, in reverence and respect for why this time of year matters. (Hint: it ain’t some jolly fat dude whose ass is too big to fit down your chimney.)
And then do yourself a favor, a personal solid if you will. Look back on the year you’ve had … and focus on the good that has come from it. Ignore the negative, and embrace the positive.
And, if you feel so inclined, show up on Sunday and root like hell for the Red and Gold. Because they’re gonna need it. I halfway expect Sean McDermott to have an actual kitchen sink on the sideline for motivation, because this is it for Buffalo. They lose this one, with two still against the Patriots, their Christmas goose is all but cooked. The Chiefs and Bills usually stage tight, close games. I suspect Sunday will be another one.
And I suspect, that just like Thanksgiving Weekend two years ago, the Chiefs somehow find a way to survive.
* at Chiefs 31, Bills (+10) 27.
Happy Turkey Day everyone, and hey -- until next time, (sgt. esterhaus voice) “Let’s be careful out there …”
(*: if the two people that is in reference to are capable of being honest, they’d have to concede, I was cordial and civil when we ran into each other in the security line entering the Redskins game. And if I’m capable of being honest (shaddup!), they were the same towards me. Time doesn’t heal all wounds, and whoever came up with that bullsh*t statement should be tarred and feathered. But it does dull most wounds. Because that’s the first interaction with those two that I’ve had in five years, that hasn’t left me wanting to beat the f*ck out of them. Baby steps!)
