my 2014 nba playoff picks

“I see you and me,

Riding like Bonnie and Clyde,

Going 95 burning down 129,

Yeah,

Looking for the law,

While I push my luck …

She’s riding shotgun,

Like it ain’t no thing;

Turn the radio up,

So the girl can sing, right?

Pull into the party

Like “y’all?  Wassup!” …

Tonight?  It’s bottoms up!  Up!

Throw it on down!

Rock this quiet, little country town!

Get up!

Drop a tailgate on your truck!

Find a keg and fill your cup!  Up!

Kick it on back!

Pretty little mama,

Looking at you like that!

Make ya wanna slide in,

Like girl?  What’s up?

‘Cause tonight it’s bottoms up!

(Up!  Up!  Up!  Get ‘em up!)

Tonight is bottoms up!

(Up!  Up!  Up!  Get ‘em up!) …”

-- “Bottoms Up” by Brantley Gilbert, one of only two songs currently in my work play list rotation, on my iPhone.  (The other being the beyond unreal and excellent cover of “Downtown Train” by Everything But the Girl that dominated my favorite scene in television history, the penultimate scene of “How I Met Your Mother” …)

--------------------

Spring has officially, uuh, sprung!  Because the best five words – one of them repeated – in order, in the English language?  Officially begins in a couple hours.

Forty.  Games.  In.  Forty.  Nights.

The NBA Playoffs!

You can see my preseason predictions by clicking on this handy dandy link, and please, feel free to mock some of my selections.  Hell, I’ll do it for you:

Worth mocking in the Eastern Conference?  The Raptors as the seventh seed (they won the Atlantic, and are the three).  The Knicks as the five seed (they did not reach the postseason).  The Pistons (six) and Cavs (eight) as playoff teams; neither finished within five games of a postseason slot.  The Bullets, Bobcats, and Hawks all missing the playoffs (all made it, as your five, seven, and eight seeds, respectively).

Worth respecting in the Eastern Conference?  I got the Pacers and Heat as division champs right; I got the 76ers and Bucks as doormats of the league right, and while many of you will mock my preseason prediction for champion (your Brooklyn Nets) … uuh, if they get by Toronto in the opening round, the dirty little secret of this postseason?  Is that the Nets didn’t lose to Miami all season long. 

Worth mocking in the Western Conference?  Honestly?  Look at those predictions.  The ONLY thing I whiffed on, was the Lakers making the playoffs (instead of the Mavericks).  We’re nit picking who the eight seed is.  Good God, I nailed these picks!

Worth respecting in the Western Conference?  I nailed all three division champs (Clips, Thunder, Spurs), I nailed 7 of 8 playoff teams (only whiffing on the Lakers / Mavs), and even got the order of division champs right, in addition to actually correctly predicting a series (2 Thunder vs 7 Grizzlies).  You’re welcome.

Having noted that … I’m not changing my preseason pick on who wins the O’Brien.  I am changing my pick for the bridesmaid award, as the runner up.  And I am most definitely changing … how we get there.

--------------------

Eastern Conference:

1 Indiana Pacers vs 8 Atlanta Hawks.

Game 1: at Pacers, Saturday April 19, 6pm CT (ESPN).

Game 2: at Pacers, Tuesday, April 22, 6pm CT (TNT).

Game 3: at Hawks, Thursday April 24, 6pm CT (NBA).

Game 4: at Hawks: Saturday, April 26, 1pm CT (TNT).

Thoughts / Commentary: only one game slated for the NBA TV channel?  David Stern would have relegated at least two of this series to his league’s channel!  (Pause).  What?  (Pause).  Really?  They’re in the playoffs?  And they’re the seven seed?  OK, fine – even the great David Stern, would have only dumped one of these nearly unwatchable contests, onto those of us who pay for the privilege of enjoying this Association.

In all seriousness, there have been five eight seeds, to ever win a playoff series – the 1994 Denver Nuggets (who beat the Seattle SuperSonics), the 1999 New York Knicks (who took advantage of a lockout-shortened season to not just beat the Miami Heat, but knock off the Atlanta Hawks in 4, and Indiana Pacers in 6, to reach the Finals), the 2007 Golden State Warriors (who sprung THE biggest upset in NBA history, knocking off the Dallas Mavericks), the 2011 Memphis Grizzlies (who, if being honest, didn’t really “upset” the San Antonio Spurs), and the 2012 Philadelphia 76ers (who wouldn’t have won a game in the series, if Derrick Rose doesn’t blow out his knee, late in game one for the Chicago Bulls).

The Pacers are reeling … but let’s be honest here.  The Hawks are not winning this series.  I’ll be stunned if they win more than a game.  Not meant as a knock on the Hawks – they’re doing this the right way.  Tear it down, and build it up from the ground floor.  Sneaking into the postseason was a bonus.  Especially considering the added pick(s) coming their way the next few years, via the Joe Johnson trade.

Prediction: Pacers in five.

2 Miami Heat vs 7 Charlotte Bobcats.

Game 1: at Heat, Sunday, April 20, 2:30pm CT (ABC).

Game 2: at Heat, Wednesday, April 23, 6pm CT (TNT).

Game 3: at Bobcats, Saturday, April 26, 6pm CT (ESPN).

Game 4: at Bobcats, Monday, April 28, 6pm CT (TNT).

Thoughts / Commentary:  Really?  Not a single game of this utterly unwatchable trainwreck, has been dumped onto the NBA Network?  Really? 

Also, what’s more dated, less classy, and more worthless – me cracking a “not even Nathan Scott can save the Charlotte Bobcats” joke … or ESPN SportsCenter leading with “hey, remember that time, when Jimmy Buffett was forcibly evicted from a Heat playoff game for spouting obscenities at the officials” reference?  I lean Buffett, if only because … sorry, I have to do it …

“If we weren’t all crazy?  We would go insane!”

Prediction: Heat in five.  Nathan Scott finds a way to hit the game winner in game four, to prevent the sweep. 

3 Toronto Raptors vs 6 Brooklyn Nets.

Game 1: at Raptors, Saturday, April 19, 6:30pm CT (NBA).

Game 2: at Raptors, Tuesday, April 22, 7pm CT (NBA).

Game 3: at Nets, Friday, April 25, 6pm CT (ESPN2).

Game 4: at Nets, Sunday, April 27, 6pm CT (TNT).

Thoughts / Commentary: THIS … is the best first round series on paper.  I know – every other NBA fan is drooling over the West’s 3/6 matchup (and to be fair, I am too), but THIS?  Is THE best first round series on paper.

Because I would argue, the ENTIRE postseason, relies on this series.

If my predicted winner emerges victorious?  The Eastern Conference gets thrown into potential chaos.  If Drake’s homeboys emerge victorious?  The Heat can lock in the cruise control dial, all the way to the Finals.

Prediction: Nets in six.  And the Eastern Conference playoffs get thrown wide, wide open, as a result.

4 Chicago Bulls vs 5 Washington Wizards.

Game 1: at Bulls, Sunday, April 20, 6pm CT (TNT).

Game 2: at Bulls, Tuesday, April 22, 8:30pm CT (TNT).

Game 3: at Wizards, Friday, April 25, 7pm CT (ESPN).

Game 4: at Wizards, Sunday, April 27, noon CT (ABC).

Thoughts / Commentary: Care to guess who had the Association’s best record after the All-Star break?  Yup, your Chicago Bulls (because they will NEVER, be my, Chicago Bulls). 

Having said that … the franchise still affectionately referred to as the Bullets by any true fan of this Association, is more than capable of winning this series.  If you are just a casual fan of this league, please – block off three hours of time next Sunday, to catch game four.  You not only won’t regret it, you’ll find yourself saying things like “holy crap, Bradley Beal!  John Wall!  This is one fun team to watch!”

(And you'll also find yourself saying "holy crap, Randy Wittman!  How is this man a head coach of a NBA team?")

Prediction: Wizards in six.

Eastern Conference Semi Finals:

5 Wizards over 1 Pacers in six.  The Pacers are spent.  A junior high team with just one potential prospect to go pro six or seven years down the line, would find a way to beat the Hawks.  But the Pacers are spent.  They aren’t surviving the Bulls / Wizards winner … especially if it’s the Wiz.

6 Nets over 2 Heat in six.  And to counter the folks who think this is finally irrefutable proof that I have come completely mentally unhinged … I remind you – I picked the Celtics to end the LeBron era Cavs four years ago.  I picked the Mavs to come out of nowhere, to win the O’Brien three years ago.  Hell, even my “public service announcement” nailed the 2010 Blue Devils to win whatever the hell the most corrupt institution in America, calls their men’s championship trophy.

Why am I picking the Nets over the Heat?  For four reasons:

1. Friday, November 1^st: Nets 101, Heat 100, at Brooklyn.

2. Friday, January 10^th: Nets 104, Heat 95, at Brooklyn.

3. Monday, March 10^th: Nets 96, Heat 95, at Miami.

4. Tuesday, April 8^th: Nets 88, Heat 87, at Miami.

I know, I know – they won three of the four games, by a point.  Which is kind of the point, right?  They WON the damned games!  Miami failed to come through even once against Brooklyn this year.  It’s kind of like Chiefs / raiders from the last twenty years in oakland.  Every year, it’s close.  And every year, the Chiefs win.  Be it on an Andre Rison touchdown (1997), a Pete Stoyanovich field goal (1999), a Greg Wesley goalline tackle (2003), a Tony Gonzalez touchdown (2004), a goalline stand on 4^th and goal (2005), a Jarrad Page touchdown (2007) – the directions to the outcome may have varied, but the outcome always remained the same.

Nets in six.  Write it in Sharpie permanent ink.

Eastern Conference Finals:

6 Nets over 5 Wizards in seven.  Look it, the Wiz are probably my favorite team to watch on the League Pass.  I’m pretty sure there’s a permanent drool mark on my carpet, from where the drool watching Bradley Beal play, has collected all year.

But why can’t the Nets do this?  Are you telling me that KG and P-squared’s last gasp, coupled with Joe Johnson’s first gasp, and a healthy side of “pick a Plumlee brother”, can’t get this done?  (Note: I have no damned clue which Plumlee is with Brooklyn, and which is with Phoenix.  And I don’t care enough to figure it out.)

I picked the Nets six months ago.  I’ve seen nothing in the last two months, at least, to dissuade me from that pick, seeing as the Nets have the East’s second best record since the All Star break, and only Chicago and San Antonio have fared better overall.

Eastern Conference Champions: 6 Brooklyn Nets.

--------------------

Western Conference:

1 San Antonio Spurs vs 8 Dallas Mavericks.

Game 1: at Spurs, Sunday, April 20, noon CT (TNT).

Game 2: at Spurs, Wednesday, April 23, 7pm CT (NBA).

Game 3: at Mavericks, Saturday, April 26, 3:30pm CT (TNT).

Game 4: at Mavericks, Monday, April 28, 8:30pm CT (TNT).

Thoughts / Commentary: A person can make a credible argument, that the Mavs / Spurs semi-finals showdown in 2006, was the greatest playoff series of the last twenty years.  (The only other candidate in the discussion I’ll consider, is Lakers / Kings Western Finals in 2002.)  This, sadly, isn’t going to match 2006’s greatness (which saw the Mavs win in overtime in Game Seven, at San Antonio, in the game that established Dirk’s greatness once and for all).

Prediction: Spurs in four.  All four will be competitive … but all four will be victories, for the ABA franchise that has called both Dallas and San Antonio home, in its franchise’s existence.

2 Oklahoma City Thunder vs 7 Memphis Grizzlies.

Game 1: at Thunder, Saturday, April 19, 8:30pm CT (ESPN).

Game 2: at Thunder, Monday, April 21, 7pm CT (TNT).

Game 3: at Grizzlies, Thursday, April 24, 7pm CT (TNT).

Game 4: at Grizzlies, Saturday, April 26, 8:30pm CT (ESPN).

Thoughts / Commentary: Ooh.  Ooh.  Ooh!

Gotta say, the funniest Tweet of the year may have to be given to John Hollinger, the Memphis GM who used to be ESPN.com’s resident geek squad, who posted the “what moron at ESPN devised a system that gave us a 0.23% chance of reaching the playoffs (as of Christmas Day)?”  That moron, of course, was Mr. Hollinger.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I LOVE people, who can make fun of their own stupidity.

Prediction: Thunder in seven.  But I am not sold on it at all.  I could just as easily be talked into Grizz in six.

3 Los Angeles Clippers vs 6 Golden State Warriors.

Game 1: at Clippers, Saturday, April 19, 2:30pm CT (ABC).

Game 2: at Clippers, Monday, April 21, 9:30pm CT (TNT).

Game 3: at Warriors, Thursday, April 24, 9:30pm CT (TNT).

Game 4: at Warriors, Sunday, April 27, 2:30pm CT (ABC).

Thoughts / Commentary: ABC is giving this series not one, but two locked in national broadcasts.  (Three if it goes seven.)  Like ABC (and obviously the NBA), I agree this is going to be an epic series.

If Andrew Bogut was healthy (and yes, I realize how patently absurd that assumption is), but if Andrew Bogut was healthy, I might pick the upset.  But go figure – he’s not healthy.  So I’m gonna take the chalk … reluctantly.

Prediction: Clippers in seven.  But I can talked into Warriors in six, even five.

4 Houston Rockets vs 5 Portland Trail Blazers.

Game 1: at Rockets, Sunday, April 20, 8:30pm CT (TNT).

Game 2: at Rockets, Wednesday, April 23, 8:30pm CT (TNT).

Game 3: at Trail Blazers, Friday, April 25, 9:30pm CT (ESPN).

Game 4: at Trail Blazers, Sunday, April 27, 8:30pm CT (TNT).

Thoughts / Commentary: The one upset I’m taking in the West.  Do yourself a favor, and catch at least one game of this series.  You’ll start your own drool spot on the carpet, watching Damian Lillard and LaMarcus Aldridge, do their thing.

Prediction: Trail Blazers in five.

Western Conference Semi Finals:

1 Spurs over 5 Trail Blazers in five.  They staged an epic semi-finals battle twenty five years ago, when the Blazers beat the Spurs in double overtime of Game Seven of the 1990 Western Semis.  This one, won’t be as memorable.

3 Clippers over 2 Thunder in six.  I picked OKC to win the West in my preseason predictions.  I am changing that half of the Finals prediction, in the playoff picks.  There’s just something off with these guys.  Plus, I trust Doc Rivers a helluva lot more than Scotty Brooks, with a game and/or series on the line.

Western Conference Finals:

1 Spurs over 3 Clippers in seven.  Could be the most epic conference finals matchup since Kings / Lakers in 2002, or Bulls / Pacers in 1998.  I have very, very high hopes, for this series.

Western Conference Champions: 1 San Antonio Spurs.

--------------------

The Finals:

6 Brooklyn Nets over 1 San Antonio Spurs in six.  The Finals is, uuh, finally, going to a 2-2-1-1-1 format that every other series uses.

This year’s Finals will be very, very hard pressed to top last year’s – the Heat’s epic game six comeback to force, and ultimately win, game seven is something no fan of this sport, and this Association, will ever forget.

Call me a dreamer, say I’m a little naïve … but I did pick Brooklyn to win it back in October.  I’ve not seen anything I am incapable of blindly ignoring, over the last six months, to make me change my pick.

NBA Champions: Brooklyn Nets.

Enjoy the games folks.  Forty games in forty nights!  Even Chuck Barkley will have a drool spot on the studio floor, by night twenty six …

stevo's 2013-2014 nba predictions

Sorry folks, but this post’s theme song … needs no lyrics.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. John Tesh:

--------------------

As one of the three die-hard NBA fans in our fine five county metropolitan area, it's tough to put into words, how sweet tonight is.

Don't get me wrong -- I watch an inordinate amount of college hoops.  I think the moment I knew "The Ex" and I would always remain friends, was when she somehow, someway, didn't divorce me after the UConn / 'Cuse six overtime game four years ago.  A lesser chica would have kicked my ass to the curb, for the "hang on, it's still going, I'll be in bed in ten minutes" routine I pulled for three straight hours.

(No, wait -- we were at Stubbs that night.  So I'd have kicked her out, for leaving me over a basketball game?  (cue the befuddled and aloof look.)  God, this is confusing.  No wonder I'm single.)

But the NBA.  I love the Association.  I love it because I love seeing greatness flourish.  You don't make it into an eight, nine man rotation in this league, unless you are truly one of the most gifted, skilled athletic specimens walking this fine place we call Earth. 

This season is going to be interesting.  I think everyone entering last year expected Miami to win the East.  And nobody was stunned that three of the last four standing in the West were San Antonio, Memphis, and Oklahoma City.

I'd argue entering the season, at least eight teams have legitimate Finals credentials: three in the East, five in the West.  And another couple in each conference, with the right breaks and a costly injury or three to the opposition, could sneak through ala the 1999 Knicks or 2007 Cavaliers.  Furthermore, for the first time in a long time, you can effectively write off the Lakers and Celtics before the season begins (although I do think one of them, will make the playoffs).  And Tankapalooza is already fully underway in Phoenix, Philly, and the aforementioned Boston.

Plus, it's David Stern's final rodeo.  The man who is arguably the most innovative and successful sports commissioner in North American history (although Pete Rozelle has a decent argument for himself) is finally hanging it up.  You could argue no commissioner has ever meant more to his sport than Mr. Stern has to the Association -- his first real action with the League was negotiating the ABA surrender in 1976 that launched the modern era.  From that, to the golden age of the 1980s with Bird, Magic, and a rising Michael Jordan, to the Bulls dynasties of the 1990s, to the Lakers and Spurs brilliance the last fifteen years, he's overseen it all.  The Draft just won't be the same without him.  Somehow, I don't envision Adam Silver having fun with the fans booing and taunting him, like Ol' Dave does.

The Rolling Stones were right: "what a drag it is getting old."

Here then are this "fertilizer" blogger's wild turkey guesses, at how the season will unfold.  (Pause).  What?  (Pause).  Yeah, that's true -- you wouldn't be completely out of bounds, to accuse me of chugging the Wild Turkey, when writing these.

--------------------

Eastern Conference:

Atlantic Division:

1. Brooklyn Nets

2. New York Knicks

3. Toronto Raptors

4. Boston Celtics

5. Philadelphia 76ers.

Division MVP: Deron Williams, PG, Brooklyn.

Division Coach / Year: Dwane Casey, Toronto.

Playoff Team(s): Nets (2), Knicks (5), Raptors (7).

Rationale / Reasoning: I am really high on this Brooklyn team.  Don't ask me why; I just love the make-up of this team ... for the next two years, anyway.  Then they're going to be an even bigger trainwreck than their rivals twelve miles away in midtown Manhattan.  The Knicks will make the playoffs, and if they draw the right matchup (which would have to be Chicago, or possibly Brooklyn), they might win a round.  The Raptors are better than people give them credit for.  Boston and Philly combined won't win as many games as the Nets do.  Tank away boys!  Tank away!

Central Division:

1. Indiana Pacers

2. Chicago Bulls

3. Detroit Pistons

4. Cleveland Cavaliers

5. Milwaukee Bucks

Division MVP: Paul George, F, Indiana.

Division Coach / Year: Frank Vogel, Indiana.

Playoff Team(s): Pacers (3), Bulls (4), Pistons (6), Cavs (8).

Rationale / Reasoning: I think the Pacers are the East's best team entering the season, but the division is so tough, it's going to cost them a few wins and a couple slots in the postseason seeding.  (Conversely, the Southeast is so god-awful, Miami can sleepwalk through nearly all of it's divisional contests and emerge with the W.)  Detroit, Cleveland, and Milwaukee are all interchangeable -- two of the three of them, are sliding into the postseason and losing 4-1 at best to one of the East's finest; the team without a chair when the music stops, is really going to regret not embracing the disgrace that is Tankapalooza.  And my guess is, it'll be Milwaukee. 

Although when it comes to the Bucks (this site's official rooting interest), I loved the Larry Drew hire, think there's a decent young nucleus there, and I love, and I mean LOVE, the new court design.  But folks?  Sorry -- once again, Bango! will be the most lovable thing at a Bucks game.  Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.  But it's not a good one.

Southeast Division:

1. Miami Heat

2. Washington Bullets

3. Charlotte Bobcats

4. Atlanta Hawks

5. Orlando Magic.

Division MVP: LeBron James, F, Miami.

Division Coach / Year: Eric Spoelstra, Miami.

Playoff Team(s): Heat (1).

Rationale / Reasoning: this is not an anti-Hawks pick.  As they're currently constructed, they should be the six seed.  But Danny Ferry's too smart to wallow in no-man's land any longer than he has to.  This is gonna be a full on fire-sale at the deadline, if not earlier.  The Heat are trying to accomplish something only two teams have done since the merger: reach four straight Finals.  This will be their toughest trip yet, to try to get there, and considering Boston had them on the ropes, Game Six at the Fake Garden, back in the 2012 Eastern Finals, that's saying something.  I could see the Bullets stealing the eight seed if everyone stays healthy, but if John Wall hasn't played a healthy season to date, why start wagering that'll happen. 

If they are healthy, they are a must-watch team on the League Pass.  You will drool over Bradley Beal folks.  The Magic are in rebuilding mode, and the Bobcats?  I hear that Nathan Scott dude is available; he's a better option at the two, than anything on the roster currently.

(What?  I haven't gotten to use the not-even-remotely-funny "One Tree Hill" joke in a while!  Cut me some slack!)

Eastern Conference Postseason:

1 Miami Heat over 8 Detroit Pistons Cleveland Cavaliers in five.

2 Brooklyn Nets over 7 Toronto Raptors in four.

3 Indiana Pacers over 6 Detroit Pistons in five.

5 New York Knicks over 4 Chicago Bulls in six.

1 Miami Heat over 5 New York Knicks in seven.

2 Brooklyn Nets over 3 Indiana Pacers in seven.

2 Brooklyn Nets over 1 Miami Heat in six.

Eastern Conference Champion: Brooklyn Nets.

--------------------

Western Conference:

Southwest Division:

1. San Antonio Spurs

2. Houston Rockets

3. Memphis Grizzlies

4. Dallas Mavericks

5. New Orleans Pelicans.

Division MVP: Dwight Howard, Houston.

Division Coach / Year: Kevin McHale, Houston.

Playoff Team(s): Spurs (1), Rockets (4), Grizzlies (7).

Rationale / Reasoning: I can make a case for any of these teams at least reaching the playoffs.  The Spurs at this point have become like the Jayhawks basketball team: until they actually don't win, how can you pick against them?  They've won at least 50 games every season since 1997 save for the 1999 lockout season ... and that's the year they broke through and won their first championship.  (Even in the 2011-2012 lockout shortened season, they still won 50, against a 66 game schedule.)

I like this Rockets team, and Kevin McHale can flat out coach, but I'm not sold on it.  Memphis will be what they have been the last two, three seasons: a solid regular season team, a really tough out in the playoffs.  Dallas and New Orleans look like also-rans in a loaded West; if they were in the East, they'd be a six seed at worst.

Northwest Division:

1. Oklahoma City Thunder

2. Portland Trail Blazers

3. Minnesota Timberwolves

4. Denver Nuggets

5. Utah Jazz

Division MVP: Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City.

Division Coach / Year: Scotty Brooks, Oklahoma City.

Playoff Team(s): Thunder (2), Trail Blazers (8).

Reasoning / Rationale: other than Miami, noone has an easier path to a division championship and top two seed, than your Oklahoma City Thunder.  The only way they don't win this division by ten games minimum, is injury issues.  Everyone else is fighting it out for the right to get rolled on the Riverwalk to open May.  I think Portland's the best of the bunch, although the Timberwolves won't be half bad.  The Nuggets have begun the rebuild; the Jazz began it a season ago.  Honestly, the only team in this division worth tuning in to watch is OKC, unless you're into cool looking courts, in which case taking in a few minutes of a game at the Rose Garden in Portland or Target Center in Minneapolis isn't a bad idea.

Pacific Division:

1. Los Angeles Clippers

2. Golden State Warriors

3. Los Angeles Lakers

4. Sacramento Kings

5. Phoenix Suns.

Division MVP: Stephen Curry, Golden State.

Division Coach / Year: Doc Rivers, Los Angeles Clippers.

Playoff Team(s): Clippers (3), Warriors (5), Lakers (6).

Reasoning / Rationale: I envision many a late, late night staying up to watch two of the funnest teams in the Association ... and two of its most dysfunctional.  I'm not as sold on Doc Rivers as most, but quite frankly, I'd be a step up from Vinny Del Negro, and my coaching would make Wilt Chamberlain's efforts in 1974 for your San Diego Conquistadors look accomplished.  (True story: ABA Commissioner Tedd Munchak actually had to pass a rule that required coaches to wear shoes on the sidelines.  Wilt coached in sandals ... the forty or so games, he showed up for*. 

The key to Golden State is health.  IF Andrew Bogut can give them sixty games, look out.  Steph Curry is a pleasure to watch.  David Lee was the only thing redeemable about the Isiah-era Knicks (other than the live blog of the MSG pregame show on my original site, "The Herm".  There's comedy, there's high comedy, and then there's Al Trautwig tossing it to Gus Johnson and a pimped out Walt "Clyde" Frazier, while Zeke is ducking debris being tossed by the Gahden faithful after another 105-72 beatdown to the lowly Bobcats.  2007 Knicks Basketball: As Awful As It Sounds!)

Ditto the Lakers.  If Kobe gives you anything more than half a season, they're stealing one of the last three seeds.  I'm not seeing it for Sacramento or Phoenix, who should give your 1972 Philadelphia 76ers a healthy run for their money, for worst record ever.  (They went 9-73.)

(*: I'm telling you, if you want a phenomenal read, get "Loose Balls" by Terry Pluto.  It's the oral history of the nine year history of the ABA.  It's a damned shame the ABA folded up shop in 1976, so it's ineligible for "30 for 30" treatment.  (And fell just six months short of being a part of my life.)  

Just the Spirits of St. Louis chapter alone could be made into a phenomenal 90 minute documentary.  I mean, let me type ten things the ABA gave us, both quality and pure entertainment, that the David Stern NBA would never stand for.  You tell me which of the ten is not quite factually accurate.

1. The first female to run a professional sports franchise, Colonels owner John Y. Brown's wife Ellie, who noted of her qualifications for the job: "well, my husband can't fry a chicken, but he seems to do quite well for himself."  (John Y. Brown owned Kentucky Fried Chicken at the time.)

2. Adolph Rupp, about fifteen bourbons in, calling his team's star player every racist term in the book, up to and including "coon (n-bomb)", audibly loud enough to be heard by the entire press corps in the Memphis auditorium.  (Although in Mr. Rupp's defense, actual attendance that night was likely in the tens of tens, so noise was not likely a factor.)

3. The slam dunk contest, invented in 1976 at the ABA's final All Star Game in Denver.

4. Spirits of St. Louis star forward Marvin "Bad News" Barnes, beating his teammate senseless with a tire iron, after pistol whipping him didn't get the job done.

5. Pat Boone (yes, THE Pat Boone) losing over $4 million dollars (a huge amount in 1969) because his fellow owner used a blank check from his Bank of America account, to open up a line of credit for himself, that he used to run up millions of dollars in debt, bankrupting the Oakland Oaks franchise after two seasons.

6. The red, white, and blue basketball.

7. A team named the Baltimore Hustlers ... which quickly morphed into the Baltimore Crabs ... before settling on the Baltimore Claws ... before folding without playing a game.

8. A team named the Virginia Squires, who in their final season of existence (and the last of the ABA), employed not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, but seven -- SEVEN! -- different head coaches.

9. When the final merger settlement agreement came, three teams were left out.  The Virginia Squires were bankrupt and unviable.  The Kentucky Colonels took a buyout (due to Chicago’s objections of territorial rights, the Colonels were not considered for the NBA, even though they were a better franchise than at least 3/4ths of the NBA at that point), that owner John Y. Brown immediately used half of to purchase the Buffalo Braves (who eventually became the LA Clippers).

The most shrewd of the three owners to not get in, was the Silva brothers of the Spirits of St. Louis.  They got their buyout … but they also demanded, and received, 1/7^th of the shared revenue stream of the four franchise that the NBA did accept (the Spurs, Pacers, Nets, and Nuggets) – IN PERPETUITY.  As of 2011, the Silva had earned nearly $280 million dollars, for simply doing nothing, from those four franchises.

10. A young first year broadcaster fresh out of Syracuse University named Bob Costas was the Spirits of St. Louis play-by-play announcer, and famously said during one early 1974-1975 broadcast "Bob MacKinnon (the Spirits coach) certainly doesn't want to see a repeat of last night's blow job (by the Spirits)."

And … time.

The answer?  (4).  Mr. Barnes pistol whipped and beat up a teammate with a tire iron, while still a student athlete at Providence.  Thanks for playing!)

Western Conference Playoffs:

1 San Antonio Spurs over 8 Portland Trail Blazers in five.

2 Oklahoma City Thunder over 7 Memphis Grizzlies in seven.

3 Los Angeles Clippers over 6 Los Angeles Lakers in six.

5 Golden State Warriors over 4 Houston Rockets in six.

5 Golden State Warriors over 1 San Antonio Spurs in six.

2 Oklahoma City Thunder over 3 Los Angeles Clippers in seven.

2 Oklahoma City Thunder over 5 Golden State Warriors in five.

Western Conference Champions: Oklahoma City Thunder.

The Finals:

2 Brooklyn Nets over 2 Oklahoma City Thunder in six.

NBA Champions: Brooklyn Nets.