Wednesday, August 28, 2019

2018 chiefs in review

"The way you used to touch me?
Felt so fine.
We kept our hearts together
Down the line.

A moment in the soul?
Can last forever.
Comfort and keep us --
Help me bring the feeling back again.

Didn't we almost have it all?
When love was all we had worth giving?
The ride with you?  Was worth the fall, my friend!
('Cause) loving you?  Makes life worth living!

Didn't we almost have it all!
The night we held on 'til the morning!
You know you'll never love that way again --
But didn't we almost have it all!

Didn't we have the best of times,
When love was young and new?
Couldn't we reach inside and find,
The world of me and you?

We'll never lose it again --
'Cause once you know
What love is?
You'll never let it end!

Didn't we almost have it all!
When love was all we had worth giving!
The ride with you?  Was worth the fall, my friend!
Didn't we almost have it all!

Didn't we almost have it all!!!!! ... "

-- "Didn't We Almost Have It All" by Whitney Houston.

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The 2018 Chiefs Year in Review from me: The Bests, The Worsts, The Memorable, The Questionable, The Highs, The Lows ... and the Single Greatest Moment of my Chiefs Fandom Life (So Far).

Which somehow?  Was not the game I had literally waited my entire life (42 years and counting) to witness in person.

Enjoy?

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* Best Game (Quality): at Rams, Week Eleven.  If you wanted to pick either Patriots game, I totally get it ... but both Pats games saw putrid (at best) Chiefs efforts in the first half -- they trailed by fifteen in the first matchup at the half, trailed by fourteen in the second.  The Rams game, on the other hand, was an absolute shootout from the moment the game began, and literally came down to the final pass of the game -- one of the very few times Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" actually failed to lead the comeback.  (He was intercepted on the Chiefs final drive, down three, with under a minute to play.) 

This game was phenomenal, and the entire country was turned back on to this sport all over again because of this game.  Seems obvious this was the best one of the year for the Red and Gold -- if not the entire sport -- quality wise.

* Worst Game (Quality): at Seahawks, Week Sixteen.  The only game all season the Chiefs really were never a part of.  If ever a seven point finale was a false front, it was this one.  Seattle should have won by twenty.  And damned near did.

* Best Game (Entertainment): at those people, Week Four.  I was there.  It was worth every penny of the price of admission.  #2ndand30 #lefthanded

* Worst Game (Entertainment): vs "Super" Chargers, Week Fifteen.  The Chiefs no-show most of the second half, the Chargers convert two fourth and longs on their final drive, then win the game on a two point conversion with 0:04 remaining.  Also, it was below freezing, in prime time, on a "school night" (aka "have to work the next day").  Not ideal conditions to be "entertained".

But hey -- it did deliver this sweet panoramic view of Section 132 during the National Anthem:


(Image Credit: me, via my iPhone 8 something.)

* Best Play: Mahomes to Hill, 4th and 9, vs Ravens, Week Fourteen.  There are many to choose from ... but how can this one be topped?  Ravens 24, Chiefs 17, Chiefs (after a false start) backed up to their own 40 with 1:30 to go.

And then, this happened.

Of every jaw dropping, eye popping, cheek smacking play Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" made this season, this one tops them all in my book.

* Worst Play: Pick a 3rd and 10 in overtime, vs Patriots, AFC Championship.  I know there are many other plays most of you would pick from the AFC Title Game rather than these ... but these are the ones that mattered the most.  If you stop the Patriots on ANY of these three -- and if you're even semi-competent at defense, one out of three ain't asking too much * -- you stop ANY of these three and outs, especially the first two, the Chiefs are a near certainty to win.  (See the fourth quarter drives -- the Chiefs forced three stops.  The Patriots forced one ... and the Chiefs scored the last three times they had the ball.)

(*: linked behind a paywall.  I normally abhor paywalls unless it is to support local journalism ... but The Athletic is worth your $8 / month to subscribe to it for their Chiefs and NCAA hoops coverages alone.)

* Most Questionable Play: Chiefs try the field goal, 0:11 remaining, vs Patriots, AFC Championship.

This ... this is going to someday have to be added to the lengthy (and long overdue to be updated) "What If Game".

The Chiefs are facing a 2nd and 10 at the Patriots 21.  There are eleven seconds to play.  The Chiefs trail 28-31.  And the Chiefs are out of timeouts.

It is that last sentence -- the lack of timeouts -- that probably explains why "Fat" Andy sent Harrison Butker out to try (and make) the game tying field goal. 

And given the field goal was good, given the Patriots took a knee, and the game went to overtime, you can argue this is a moot point.

But I keep coming back to the fact there were eleven seconds to play, the Chiefs have (arguably) the best quarterback in the game, and he's got Tyreek Hill, Travis Kelce, DeMarcus Robinson, and Damien Williams all available and ready to run a "three jet all go" play call to the end zone, to try to steal the victory.

(Side note: considering "Fat" Andy was on the losing sideline that day ... it only further boggles the mind he didn't attempt the "three jet all go", uuh, attempt, in that spot.)

(Second side note: holy sh*t, that play was twenty years ago!  Twenty!  Now I feel old!)

Seriously - why didn't the Chiefs try this?  Why didn't they try one last play before kicking the field goal?  This is an easy call -- set Mahomes up in the shotgun, with Sherman in to block.  Give him three steps.  If nobody is open, chuck it into Section 129 or 130, then kick the field goal to force overtime.

The Chiefs had a chance to avoid overtime all together, and bring Lamar's Trophy home.  They had one final opportunity to avoid their ultimate fate.  And instead, they literally kicked it away, and left their fate on the side of a coin.

This is the (non) play that I'll be ranting about long after I'm tossed into whatever mental health facility is going to replace Two Rivers as my eventual home.

* Best Tailgate: (tie) vs 49ers, Week Three; vs Colts, AFC Divisional.

Anytime you're in a tank top and shorts at 9:30 in the morning, and you're still sweating through everything you have on, it's my kind of day.  Also, by the end of the day, I looked like this:


(I swear, I did use sunscreen.  It didn't work.  Image credit: me, via my iPhone 8 something.)

Conversely, admit it, the Colts tailgate was also about as cool as it gets.  There's something awesome about football in the snow.  Tailgating in it is just about as awesome:


(I couldn't find the view looking into our tailgate ... but this was 3 hours before kickoff, looking out from our tailgate.  Image credit: me, via my iPhone 8 something.)

* Worst Tailgate: vs those people, Week Eight.

I missed the whole thing and barely made kickoff due to my flight home being delayed nearly ninety minutes that morning.  (I was supposed to land at KCI around 8:30am from San Antonio via Houston Bush; I landed a little after 10am.)  Which also meant that donkey didn't get an addition to him for the first time since he was first brought out to tailgating in 2010.

(Cinco Noose Donkey: 2010 he debuted.  2011 he got his first noose.  2012 he got his second.  2013 he got his third.  2014 he got his fourth.  2015 he got his fifth.  2016 he got his pacifier.  2017 he got diapers.  2018 he got nothing.  Which means I'll have to double him up I guess, come the tailgate against those people in 2019.)

* Best Road Trip: at those people, Week Four.  I went to two roadies this year -- those people and Seattle.  One was far better than the other.

* Worst Road Trip: to Sioux Falls for the raiders road game, Week Thirteen.  Every year our group heads up to "Raider Nation North" for the raiders roadie.  This year, it was both insanely cold ... and got snowed out. 

So, a road trip that is supposed to happen, but doesn't happen, is guaranteed to be the worst roadie, at least on this site, if only due to the sunken cost that is lost.

But ... on the other hand ...

I had that Monday (December 3rd) off to travel home.  So when I woke up that Monday, I fired up the laptop, took a look to see if anything new in the Jeep department had landed at CarMax overnight ... and lo and behold, there was!  Two hours and $30,000 in debt later, "New Tito" had a, uuh, new home, with me:


("New Tito" braving the elements the morning after the Colts game.  He loves the snow and cold about as much as his owner does.  Namely, he despises them.  Image credit: me, via my iPhone 8 something.)

* Best Player (Offense): Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs", QB.  Despite many worthy candidacies ... this is the obvious choice.

* Best Player (Defense): Chris Jones, DE.  Despite few if any worthy candidacies ... this is the obvious choice.

* Best Player (Special Teams): Harrison Butker, PK.  Nothing against Dusty C, but Butker made the biggest kick this franchise has had in many, many a moon (and no, that is not a cheap shot at fake Indian Elizabeth Warren ... or is it?  #teambiden).  That gives him the edge in my book.

* Worst Player (Offense): Kareem Hunt, RB.  In the words of the late, great John Candy: "what a moron!".

Although it did lead to one hysterical moment (at least for me) at the game against the Ravens: I'm standing in the beer line after entering the stadium, and some guy in his late 20s / early 30s has his 27 jersey on.  Only, instead of saying "Hunt", he's taped over Hunt and it now says "Johnson". 

We've gone full circle Chiefs fans -- we've swapped out one woman-beating alcoholic for another!  And don't know who is worse!  At least LJ has turned his life around ** .  Here's to hoping Kareem does as well.

(**: if you don't follow LJ on Twitter, you should.  Here's his handle.  Let's just say, the dude is a few fries short of the proverbial Happy Meal.  (Pause).  What?  (Pause).  No, that is not a cheap shot at his religious conversion!  I'm happy for him about that!  But read his tweetline.  The dude is more (whitney houston voice) crack is whack, than even I am.)

Also, before I forget ...

* Best Development (Arrowhead): Adding the Beer Garden Between Sections 132 and 131.  I don't even have to leave my section now to get the Kingdom Blonde Ale or a Boulevard on tap.  Sh*t, I don't even have to clog the aisle trying to get back -- I can grab a chair and wait for a timeout.  Nice use of a month of nothing going on, Chiefs organization.  (It was installed between the Cardinals game and Ravens game.)

And now back to wherever I was in this thing ...

* Worst Player (Defense): Anthony Hitchens, LB.  When it's all said and done, the latest in a long line of desperation Chiefs linebacker free agent signings may make some awful ones from the past ("Cut" glen cadrez, Shawn Barber, Kendrell Bell, Scott Fujita, Brandon Siler, Mike Vrabel, and countless others I've missed) look reasonable.

(Note: nobody believed in Brandon Siler more than me.  Nobody.  Just goes to show you.)

* Worst Player (Special Teams): none.  I can't really find fault with any of the core members of the Chiefs special teams this past season.

* Rookie of the Year (Offense): Andrew Wylie, OG.  I know, I know -- technically not a rookie.  (He signed with the Colts as an undrafted free agent after the 2017 draft, and saw no regular season action last season.)  But 2018 was his first year on a regular season NFL roster, and he made the most of it, picking up the pieces of LDT's loss and somehow, someway, holding his own against (a lot of weeks) the best the opposition could throw at the Chiefs. 

Also, considering the only offensive player Brett Veach picked was a defensive tackle to be developed into an offensive lineman (Kahlil McKenzie), I didn't have much to work with here.

Also, there are a lot of things in life that stun me; Brett Veach (and John Dorsey before him)'s ability to plug and play offensive linemen into a league average group?  Is not one of them.

* Rookie of the Year (Defense): Derrick Nnadi, DT.  You can also make a case for Dorian O'Daniel here, but given that Mr. Nnadi didn't see the field in the first two weeks, and was a key starter by the time the playoffs rolled around, I don't see how Mr. Nnadi isn't the clear choice here. 

* Rookie of the Year (Special Teams): Ben Niemann (LB).  I love this kid. 

And finally ... my three favorite moments of the season.

* Third Favorite Moment of the 2018 Season: Finally Witnessing a Victory in Person at fake mile high, Week Four.

There are things in life that we, as humans, love irrationally.  For me, those things definitely include my family, my friends that are family, Sunday evening dinners on The Deck with family and friends, Shiner Bock, Tito's vodka (what, like you'd expect anything else?), and the sports teams and players I root for, none more important to me than the Chiefs. 

Conversely, there are things in life that we, as humans, hate irrationally.  For me, those things definitely include The Quaff (although to be fair, that bar hates me as much as I hate it), people who lie to my face about my meaning and significance to them (thankfully, only one person has ever fit this category for me), and the sports teams and players I despise, none more despised than a team that plays an alleged mile high above sea level, a team so hated on this site I won't even refer to them by name.  They are "those people".

Prior to this season, I had never witnessed a victory at fake mile high against those people.  Nothing but defeats.  Then came Monday, October 1, 2018.

For three quarters, I'd braced myself for the inevitable.  (By "braced myself", I mean "I was plowing through Coors Lights like there was no tomorrow".)  And think of everything the Chiefs had to overcome in that fourth quarter to win!  They trailed 23-13 with barely twelve to play.  They overcame a 3rd and 16, 4th and 1, and 1st and 20 on their first touchdown drive of the quarter.  They then needed a left handed throw by Mr. Mahomes on 3rd and 5, then somehow convert a 2nd and 30, on the game winning drive.  And as if all that wasn't enough, they needed "The Stand, Part III" to close things out, as those people had goal to go, down four, with less than a minute to play, in the end zone I was sitting in.

All of which, led to this:


(Buh bye.  Thanks for coming.  Please, do not be safe on the way home ... but don't take it out on the dog.  He didn't ask to be a part of your demonic, indwelt existence, you orange clad fans.  Image Credit: me, via my iPhone 8 something.)

It was a win I'd waited twenty years for.  And to this moment, the sports section of the October 2nd Denver Post hangs in my office:


((dan dierdorf voice) Poor case.  He did everything ... but win.  Image Credit: me, via my iPhone 8 something.)

That's my third favorite moment of the 2018 season.

My second ... might surprise you, given how it ended.

But won't stun you at all, if you know me at all.

Second Favorite Moment of the 2018 Season: The Chance to Bring Lamar's Trophy Home, AFC Championship.

Let's acknowledge the Captain Oats right away: the Chiefs lost the AFC Championship Game, 31-37, in overtime, to the New England Patriots.  And yeah, that hurts.  It's taken at least six months of therapy with Stevo's Site Numero Dos' Official Spiritual Advisor, the right Reverend Al K. Hall, to (possibly) get over it.  And six months is being conservative (something I'm not often accused of being).

But let's also acknowledge the Captain Oats not just right away, but going forward: that game was ... we'll get to it.

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From the moment the clock hit triple zeros against the Colts, to clinch the first home playoff win in 25 years, something awesome and incredible and damned near indescribable happened here in Kansas City: unity with one purpose and goal in mind, and that was to Bring Lamar's Trophy Home.

It started early in the week -- technically the Friday before -- at Crown Center:




(Hey, I can take a selfie!  Image Credits: me, via my iPhone 8 something.)

Then (jimmy buffett voice) "come Saturday", the Chiefs let us know it was game on:


(Image Credit: me, via my iPhone 8 something.)

Even Westport ceded Pioneer's Plaza to Chiefs fever:


(I pass this every day going to and from work.  It looks much better with the jerseys on, in my (rarely) humble opinion.  Image Credit: Martin Augustine, KMBC 9, via Twitter.)

Hell, (jimmy buffett voice) "come Sunday", I was so dialed in to what I thought this day would be, that as I left for the Bus Barn, and this was the first song that came on, I texted it to multiple people, certain it was a sign that Sunday, January 20, 2019, was a day that (fdr voice) would live in infamy:


(Also, why I considered this an omen: this was the song I was going to use for the Championship Game pick post, before I settled on "One Moment in Time" instead.  Image Credit: me, via my iPhone 8 something.)

The Bus left for Arrowhead on Championship Sunday at 10am.  For a 5:40pm kickoff.  On a barely 20 degree day.  And we were nearly backed up to Stadium Drive when we arrived.

The Bus left Arrowhead a little after 11pm.  For a game that ended a little after 9pm.  When it was barely 5 degrees out.  The backup to get out was that long.

Meaning that for thirteen hours, the focus was on the Chiefs ... but for me, it was on something else too.

And that's a lot of you reading this (since let's face it, most of you reading this have tailgated with me a time or ten before, or gone to a game with me before).

We waited a lifetime for that day.  I've seen friends come and go.  I've seen family come and go.  We've buried friends that are family, and family that are friends.  And in the end, we all kept coming back because Championship Sunday was the payoff.  That was the end game.  One chance -- just one -- to do what no Chiefs team in our lives had ever done, and that's bring Lamar's Trophy home.

And that's probably why the loss, one coin flip shy of a Super Bowl and accomplishing the dream of Lamar's Trophy returning where it belongs and should never leave, doesn't sting like it should.  It's not because I'm confident the Chiefs will get there, and next time get the job done -- I am confident of that, although I'm not as high on this upcoming season at this point, as others of you are.

It's because of all we went through to get there. 

I wouldn't trade the memories I have with all of you, on the journey to that one magical dream-filled day for anything.

Not even Lamar's Trophy.

And that brings us to ...

Favorite Moment of the 2018 Season: 11:51am, Sunday, September 23, 2018.

True story: I had the recap of the 49ers game started, and completed, through tailgating.  I even had what I thought was the perfect theme song to describe that game with ("Dream On" by Aerosmith").

And then, it came time to try to describe just what hearing three words, three simple words that had never triggered a truly emotional, gut-check reaction out of me before, it came time to explain why those three words had me crying like I've rarely if ever cried before.

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Since moving back from college after the 1998 season, I have heard the following names introduced as the Chiefs starting quarterback.  (Pause).  What?  (Pause).  Yeah, good point -- go pour yourself the stiffest drink you can tolerate, then add another couple splashes on top of it.  You're gonna need it.  Because here goes:

Elvis Grbac.  Trent Green.  Damon Huard.  Brodie Croyle.  Tyler Thigpen.  Matt Cassel.  Tyler Palko.  Kyle Orton.  Brady Quinn.  Alex Smith.  Chase Daniel.  Nick Foles.

A thirteenth ("The Maytag Repairman", Todd Collins) never started a game in the six seasons he was a backup to Mr.'s Grbac and Green.  A fourteenth (Warren Moon) started a road game in 2000, but none at home.

That's fourteen (at best) league average to (at worst) abject sh*ttacular quarterbacks we've endured in the last nineteen years.  (And note: I'm probably missing a couple.  I try to forget the Coach Asshat and Coach Baffoon eras (2009-2012) as much as possible.)

And then ... came "Fifteen".

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For once, I am thankful there is no Youtube! clip, there is no Arrowhead Pride video -- hell, I didn't even properly record the moment to my phone -- to show what Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" introduction was to those of us who witnessed it live.

(Note: that is an outright lie.  There is one clip available.  2:13 mark of it.  It doesn't even come close, to capturing the magic of the moment.  (Thank God.))

Because the explosion inside of Arrowhead when Fifteen was introduced?  

Deserves to stay with us, who sat through twenty, thirty, forty plus years of utter sh*t, to witness that one moment.

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My favorite moment from tailgating that day -- and it's amongst my most cherished tailgating moments ever, if I'm being honest here -- was myself, "The Voice of Reason", and Jasson standing around, pushing 10:30am on a gorgeous 90 degree sunny day, and this conversation occurred:

("the voice of reason") So, are you going to cry today?
(stevo) Of course I am!
(jasson) (unprovoked) I already have.

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Time changes a lot of things.  And no, the three of us aren't what we were twenty years ago, when my favorite picture of us was snapped by (I believe) Jenni.  But I'm damned glad time (and my f*ck ups and failures) didn't rob us of that moment.  Three great friends, raised as Chiefs fans, who've dealt with crushing defeat after indefensible loss after choke-job after botched field goal after costly interception after "forward progress non-fumble" after "Holding, 72" on a two point conversion, after ... well, you get the point.  It's been thirty f*cking plus years of misery.

And then, yet again, as had happened so many times before, there's a reboot, another potential franchise savior, another "please trust us, we know what we're doing" plea from a front office that most of the time, has been clueless during our, uuh, clued in years as Chiefs fans.

Yet this one?

This one feels different.

The tears prove it.

Because I never cried hearing Elvis Grbac, Trent Green, Damon Huard, Brodie Croyle, Tyler Thigpen, Matt Cassel, Tyler Palko, Kyle Orton, Brady Quinn, Alex Smith, Chase Daniel, or Nick Foles introduced as my quarterback.  (Unless it was in horror.  Which is possible.)

Three words made me an emotional wreck to open last year's home schedule.

"And at Quarterback!"

I can't wait to see Section 132 become all dusty and allergen-filled all over again, come September 22nd ...

week twelve picks

The Statisticals. Last Week SU: 8-6-0. Season to Date SU: 98-62-1. Last Week ATS: 7-7-0. Season to Date ATS: 75-80-6. Last Week Upset / ...