Sunday, October 23, 2011

recap manana (julie chen voice) but first ...

"After my pictures fades,
And darkness has turned to grey.
Watching through windows,
Wondering if I'm ok.

Secrets stolen from deep inside.
The drum beats out of time --

If you're lost, you can look,
And you will find me,
Time after time.

If you fall, I will catch you,
I'll be waiting,
Time after time.

If you're lost, you can look,
And you will find me,
Time after time.

If you fall, I will catch you,
I will be waiting!
Time after time,
Time after time ..."

-- "Time After Time", originally done by Cyndi Lauper, but perfected by Javier Colon ...


I was mocked for putting Javier's version of this song on the iPod playlist for tailgating. At least until it played, about 9:20am before the Vikings game. The assembled tailgaters were so blown away, that nobody made fun of it again, and a "replay it!" request or three were honored.

Four weeks ago, I stated that the Chiefs would be 6 and 3 going to New England. I was mocked, constantly, for that statement. So now, after three victories have left the Chiefs in complete and total control of their own postseason destiny, I ask you, anyone want a "replay" request on today's epic ass kicking? Because Christ knows I do.

This season is so f*cking on right now, that I feel like Adam, exploding in pure ecstasy at America's next great singing talent's debut.

The only question now is, what the hell is your excuse for missing the biggest regular season game the Chiefs have hosted since Thanksgiving Night, 2006? It's simple fellow Chiefs fans. With a win next Monday night against the San Diego "Super" Chargers, the Chiefs own first place in the AFC West. With winless Miami and hopeless denver on tap. (And you're damned right saying "hopeless" and "denver" back to back feels, uuh, damned good.)

This season is turning into something amazing. I'm curious as to whether "The Kid" still feels like throwing my innocent "come on out and watch the start of a season we've waited a lifetime for" Facebook email back in my face at 0 and 3, I'm curious as to how he feels tonight. I hope he buys me many a cold one on Wednesday night at bowling, if only to deal with the abject shame he should be feeling tonight.

Chiefs fans, give your team a pat on the back. Give your team a gigantic thumbs up. Wear your red with PRIDE tomorrow.

Because time after time, when everyone seemed to bury this team, well ... when in doubt, trust this blogger, and his "Voice of Reason". WE told you not to give up at 0 and 3. WE told you to believe this team would win for the first time ever in Indianapolis. And you're damned right we were texting the "pride and poise! pride and poise!" texts back and forth today, celebrating the ass kicking of a generation by the Bay, and officially erasing every negative thought, every negative reaction, every negative prediction, of those foolish fans at 0 and 3.

This season is f*cking on folks! It is EPICALLY f*cking on! When everyone other than the select few gave up on these guys, the important thing is this --

These guys never gave up. THEY never quit. We're sixty minutes away from sitting in first place, in complete and total control of our own destiny.

Do you know what today reminded me of? Exactly five years ago today. A 2 and 3 Chiefs team, facing the alleged "team of destiny" in our division, as a huge underdog. It's the prediction that "put me on the map" to so many of you who read this. Hell, to this day, every damned time I run into him at Arrowhead, Damien drops the "how did you nail that Chargers game so perfectly?!?!" blast at me. (In his defense ... I have no idea how I did it either).

October 23, 2006. When a wounded duck of a Chiefs team, with more players on IR than on the active roster (or so it seemed), somehow, someway, found a way to beat the Chargers 30-27 on a last second long range Lawrence Tynes field goal. Now, to be fair, I whiffed on the distance -- I said Tynes would hit from 49 as time expired to win 30-27. To this day, the "false start" penalty p*sses the hell out of me -- because Tynes first attempt was GOOD from 49. I had that game TOTALLY nailed. But you know what? If I'm gonna miss, I'm ok with it being a five yard more epic field goal.

This season is ON folks. It is EPICALLY on! Are the Chiefs going to win the Lombardi? Probably not. But you know what? I don't give a damn. This team is damned fun to watch play. This is 1995, this is 1999, this is 2006 all over again. This team is in over its head, and they just don't give a sh*t. It's an us against the world mentality. And I'm totally good with it.

Time after time.

Yesterday, I attended the funeral of the man I proudly sat behind for nearly a dozen years. Other than "The Voice of Reason", I've never known a more loyal Chiefs fan. As the day died down, and there were just a few of us left, watching the video that was on a constant loop at the funeral home, I noticed a picture that I somehow had failed to notice until then. From Chris and Greg's wedding, during the bye week in that amazing 2006 season.

Chris and Greg (the happy newlyweds), with myself, Nancy, Russ and Mona, embraced, smiling, raising our champagne flutes to the future that awaited us all. The five of us still thankfully here saw it at the same time, and I swear, we all teared up at the same time. Had a healthy group hug. And then Chris, who somehow has been a rock of strength through all of this crap, noted the following:

"You know God took him right now, to ensure he had a good laugh with his good friend when the Chiefs embarrass the raiders tomorrow."

You couldn't help but laugh through the tears. Which is why, in a bastardized way, today brought the house down at one point. It was about midway through the second quarter. The Chiefs had just held on the goalline to preserve a 14-0 lead. And the "bane of our existance", someone we wish would just go away most of the time, but we're too nice to kick him out, looked upward and said "F*ck You al! F*ck You!" in celebration at the stand.

To which I replied, "Why are you looking up?"

I'd like to believe that my one liner response, brought down God Himself and our late buddy Greg in Heaven as much as it did the Deck. Greg hated oakland more than any other team alive*, and more than any other person alive, even the (also named) Gregg known as "The Voice of Reason". I have to believe Greg with One G helped orchestrate this day, this epic shutout victory that vaults the Chiefs totally and completely into the thick of the AFC West and AFC Wildcard race.

(Funniest Moment from Saturday: I went over to my brother's after the funeral to watch some football and, well, pound some cold ones. Depressing day. Never one to disappoint, my "Special Little Guy" came up and said this:

(ayden voice) Unca Teve! Unca Teve!
(stevo voice) yeah buddy.
(ayden voice) You know who evil?
(stevo voice) No? Who, buddy?
(ayden voice) the waidehs and broncos!
(stevo) (starting to tear up with joy)
(stevo voice) yeah, they're pretty bad.
(ayden voice) Supahman would kill them! (Note: he's into Superman right now)
(stevo voice) yeah, they'd be his kryptonite.
(ayden voice) yeah, they bad. I hate them!

I didn't coach him folks. The kid knows his sh*t!!! Also? I can FINALLY tell the twins apart! Not only that ... but Reghan fell asleep in my arms last night. I still have NO interest in having kids ... but godd*mmit, if you can't appreciate a 14 month old contentedly falling asleep in your arms, sucking on her thumb, you just don't have a conscience. Where was I going with this? Not a f*cking clue. So ...)

Chiefs fan, this season is EPICALLY on. It's not "f*cking" on, it's EPICALLY on! Just like 0 and 3 is just a start, not a finish, so is 3 and 3. Exactly 7 days, 23 hours, and 30 some odd minutes from me typing this sentence from now, the Chiefs will tee off playing for first place. Please, join me, join Arrowhead Nation, at, uuh, Arrowhead, next Monday. I mean for God's sake, if my brother is blowing off taking his three kids under the age of four trick-or-treating for this game, for this epic showdown, what the hell is your excuse? (OK, poor example, he is one of us, after all, but still.) Show up Monday.

"If you're lost, you can look, and you will find me! Time after time!"

Be there to support this team that has given you, given me, given US, so many amazing moments through the years, at the moment in time it needs you the most.

"If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting! Time after time!"

It's time, Chiefs fans. It's time to seize this season by the proverbial throat, and control our destiny. Excuse me, OUR destiny!

If you need a place to tailgate, we'll be there by 2pm, ready for the gates to open. If you need a place to park, we'll save you one. If you need a reason to believe, please -- catch the replay on or NFL Replay on NFL Network this week. What you saw today was NOT an aberration, it was NOT a fluke. It's what happens when a SUPERIOR team takes on an INFERIOR opponent ...

Time after time.

Bring it San Diego. Bring it! In the words of the sh*ttiest rapper ever ... (j-kwon voice) e'rybody in this club gettin' tipsy!

Oh wait, no, he's not the worst. I mean:

(archie voice) we ready! we ready! we ready ... for y'all ... And no sir, your "we" weren't even CLOSE to being ready for "y'all" today, hee hee f*cking hee ...

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