Sunday, October 2, 2011

(rascal flatts voice) then you stand.

Allow me to take a couple liberties with the opening anthem, and (stevo’s favorite swear phrase voice) god f*cking d*mmit, I … (stevo tearing up …) screw that. WE have EARNED it after today! We EARNED this day Chiefs fans! We EFFING EARNED IT!!!! One more time, with feeling. We F*CKING EARNED THIS! That final Vikings drive, that final Vikings play, we F*CKING EARNED THIS!!!! WE EARNED THIS!!! Feel free to celebrate -- just insert your name where I inserted “Steve” … and give me three more pages of celebration to get to my point, please … other than, WE F*CKING EARNED THIS!!!! Bring it Colts! EFFING BRING IT!!!

“While Steve lays sleeping.
I stay out late at night and play my song.
And sometimes, oh the nights, can be so wrong.
And it’s good when I finally make it home, all alone.

While Steve lays dreaming.
I try to get undressed without the lights.
And quietly Steve says “how was your night?”
And I come to Steve and say, “It was alright”,
And I hold him tight …

Cause Steve believes in me!
I’ll never know just what he sees in me!
I told him someday, if he was my guy,
I could change the world,
With my little song, but I was wrong (editors note: the HELL you were!) …

But Steve has faith in me!
And so I’ll go on trying faithfully!
And who knows maybe, on some special night,
If my song is right,
I can find a way, find a way …

While Steve lays dreaming …”
-- a very “liberal” interpretation of “She Believes in Me” by Kenny Rogers. Season f*cking on Chiefs fans! SEASON! FUCKING! ON!!!!!
I wanted three things out of today:

1. a Chiefs victory.
2. a Chiefs victory. Oh, and
3. a gigantic, long-overdue, “it’s been three effing years!” massive man-hug with the “Self Proclaimed Champ” after a home win that saves the season in week four.

Uuh, two of the above three happened. So, DJ … if I approach you to start our bowling season in three days with tears in my eyes, and drop the “god f*cking d*mmit! We f*cking did it! WE F*CKING DID IT!!!!” blast at you … well, you’re earning interest on it. As is your wife – God bless it, a donkeys fan showing up in full on Chiefs gear for THE must-win game of the year. I’m stunned I didn’t drop to the ground in tears with our pregame tailgating hug. YOU ROCKED chica! YOU EFFING ROCKED! God bless it, we rocked that joint today! We EFFING rocked it!

Because God f*cking d*mmit, WE did it! Holy God above, if you were in Arrowhead today, you heard how loud that final Vikings possession was. Christ, I had tears in my eyes. And it wasn’t due to my horrendous allergies – I literally teared up. I have RARELY been as PROUD as I was on that final Vikings possession.

WE f*cking DID IT! Today, 70,000 plus of the remaining die-hards packed Arrowhead to the rafters, and saved this season. We SAVED this season! WE did it! I have high praise for Bill Muir, for (especially) Romeo Crennel, for (really especially) Todd Haley to come … but my highest praise … is for those of us who NEVER doubted, who NEVER gave up hope.

Today, WE won that game. WE won that game! And damn, if it don’t feel good! WE WON THAT GAME! Good GOD, was it LOUD in there today! My ears are still ringing. We ROCKED that stadium to its foundation today. This was an actual conversation with me and the two Vikings fans next to me for most of the game:

(vikings fan 1) damn, it’s loud in here!
(stevo) WHAT?!?!?!
(vikings fan 2) it’s LOUD in here!
(stevo) (not sh*tting around, I really couldn’t hear them) WHAT?!?!?!?!

I truly don’t know where to begin. I honest to God, have no idea where to begin. WE won that game today. Yes, the offensive game plan was solid, the defensive game plan was spectacular, and with his ass on the line, Todd Haley delivered the clutch performance of a lifetime (no, seriously – I was irate at one point in the fourth quarter … and Haley KEEPING HIS COOL saved us a 15 yard penalty on the kickoff that I would have, uuh, “cost us”. God bless that man!)

And the only three things I can think, right now, are …

1. Godd*mmit, where the hell was DJ for the full on “WE F*CKING DID IT!!!” man hug to end tailgating. Apparently I missed him by 90 seconds, because I was too busy fist pumping, high fiving, and talking with every damned Chiefs fan on the walk up Lot G. And you know what? I’m OK with that. Because you’re getting one HELLUVA “WE F*CKING DID IT!!!” man hug to open our bowling season. We EARNED this today champ! We f*cking EARNED it!

2. If I have to witness THE best home win in three years, and ignore that Titans “clinches the division” win last year, TODAY was THE best home win since denver in 2008, if I gotta witness it with someone, I am so effing glad “the ex” was next to me for most of it. WE EARNED THIS!!! WE EFFING EARNED IT!!! Oh, and …

3. “Steve believes in you! I’ll never know just what he sees in you! … And Steve has faith in you! And so you go on trying faithfully! And who knows, maybe, on some special night, if the song is right, you’ll find a way, find a way …”

A full recap coming tomorrow. I’m too godd*mned happy to recap this day right now. We ROCKED that joint to its, uuh, joints today! Arrowhead Nation, take a GIGANTIC bow! WE EARNED THIS! My God, I haven’t been this happy over a win since September 28, 2008. Today, this win, was EPIC.

Believe, folks. Believe! SEASON! EFFING! ON!!!

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