Showing posts with label 2014 royals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2014 royals. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

royals! a's! where brooks happens ...

Your theme?  (Almost) closes the post.

And yeah, it’s © Stevo Productions, 2014, No Rights Reserved.  Please, reprint without the expressed, written consent of Major League Baseball, considering it involves, uuh, a Major League Baseball Game.

But don’t reprint without the expressed, written consent of … well, the artist whose song I sorta, kinda rewrote for this.  Unless if, as I would guess, he’d be as cool with “the theme”, as I am. 

--------------------

What do you do, when the hype matches the moment?

What do you do, when the ridiculous hype that was Tuesday, September 30th, 2014, at Kauffman Stadium, what do you do, when the ridiculous hype undersells the moment?

I'd been noting all day Monday, as the Chiefs did what Chiefs do and flogged the Patriots like they were Reverend Sharpton's government mule he's always complaining about, that "tomorrow trumps tonight".  The Three T's.  "Tomorrow Trumps Tonight".

I walked into that stadium a little before six o'clock last night, and I can honestly say, that rarely have I entered a sporting event as geeked and fired up and full of anticipation, as I was.  Maybe denver on Thanksgiving Night in 2006.  Maybe the 2005 Indy 500.  Maybe that June Sunday in 2004, when Tom Glavine and Zack Greinke traded pitch for pitch.  Potentially the Elite Eight in 2004, when the worst squad Bill Self will ever coach at Kansas fell in overtime to Georgia Tech, one step shy of a third straight Final Four.

Possibly Fathers Day in 2003, Barry Bonds' last appearance in this fine town that permanently dented the old Right Field GA concession stand roof.  Definitely denver in 2003, the matchup of two 4-0 teams that somehow did live up to the hype.  Possibly the 2002 NCAA second rounder, when a banged-up, depleted Jayhawks squad coming off a decade of frustration, enter the whatever-the-hell-they-call-it Dome in St. Louis, and blew Stanford out of the building so thoroughly, they were calling timeouts down 15-0 not even three minutes into the contest.  And countless other contests, going back decades of my life. 

I've entered with anticipation.  I've entered buying the hype.

Last night?  The hype, the anticipation, didn't live up to the moment.

The moment dominated them.

Royals 9, A's 8, in a crazy, insane twelve inning thriller that gave this city, this town, this fanbase, this community, and this blogger, something our local teams rarely do.

It gave us a reason to cry ... because of something good happening.

--------------------

I choose to open with this.

If you've ever seen the movie "The Shawshank Redemption" -- and if you haven't, you should -- you know that there is a character in that film named Brooks.

He's the old dude.  He's the institutionalized dude.  He's the dude who couldn't handle life outside of prison, and winds up (sadly) taking his own life.  That, thankfully, is not why I choose to open with mentioning Brooks.  Nobody named Brooks died last night that I know of.

Before Brooks took his life in "Shawshank", he took out a knife, and carved into the ceiling support three words.

"Brooks was here."

Three words, to immortalize forever that he existed, that he lived.

I sat in 413, row LL, seat 12 last night -- although seated is a pretty lousy word to describe it; there wasn't much sitting going on.  Next to me on my right was a guy named Chris.  Next to him was his brother, and Brooks, an adorable four year old who is the biggest Salvador Perez fan you'll ever meet, and who was as wide-eyed and wide-awake and as into that game at 11:53pm as he was at 5:53pm.  Every major moment last night, the kid and I high-fived. 

So let me tell you, when Salvador Perez lined a single down the left field line, with two outs, in the bottom of the 12th inning, to deliver the Royals truly and totally into the postseason for the first time in more than a generation, that Brooks -- standing on his chair to see what was happening, as he had all night -- simply leapt up into his daddy's arms, and began high-fiving everyone around him. 

Then his dad (whose name escapes me, unfortunately) said seven words that made that night for me.

"You were here, buddy!  You saw this!"

Brooks was here.

So was I.

And I gotta say, 11:53pm on Tuesday, September 30th, 2014, is a moment I will never forget, for the rest of my life.

--------------------

My hands are hurting.  I mean hurting.  It literally hurts to type.  My ears are still ringing.  I have yet to go to sleep.  My throat hurts from all the screaming of the last two days, especially yesterday.  I literally have on five band-aids right now from chewing the nails and the skin of my fingers last night.  Even my stomach is hurting, and folks?  As Gregg can confirm, I didn't touch a drop of alcohol during that game, and only had a couple beers while we were tailgating. 

I wanted to enjoy this game stone sober.

And that was probably a good idea, because in the bottom of the tenth, when Gregg leaned in and shouted "how are you feeling?" -- because you had to shout, it was so loud in there -- the only truthful response I could offer was "I need to puke".  The stress was incredible those last five innings.  For five straight innings, the Royals had the tying or winning run at third base with one out.  They didn't get him home in the 8th.  They did in the ninth.  They didn't in the tenth.  They didn't in the eleventh.

And then they did -- twice -- in the 12th.

--------------------

I got there a little after four.  Met up with Gregg, his dad, and our buddy Tim, who I hadn't seen in ages.  Met up with a friend from high school, Josh, I hadn't seen in fifteen years.  He flew in from Tampa for this game.  My brother and Neeck came strolling in a little after five.  I heard from other friends of mine who were there -- "The Crush", Damien, Jasson and Tara.  I hope every person reading this, got to stand in that stadium at some point last night. 

And trust me -- giving one massive man-hug to my brother, in that moment, knowing what was to come, damned near made me cry.  (Fine, it did make me cry, hence my "I need to go pee even though I've drank nothing" moment.)

Because that was nearly five hours of incredible, unbelievable, unreal, and quite frankly, nearly unrecappable drama.  The Royals, in the biggest game they've played since Sunday, October 27, 1985, flipped the script.  For six months, we've watched The Formula play out, and it has played out spectacularly well.  The Formula is simple: get six solid innings out of your starter, scratch out a couple runs in those six innings, and then turn it over to Kelvim Herrera in the seventh, Wade Davis in the eighth, and Greg Holland in the ninth. 

Last night?  James Shields was rocked in the first, and shaky through the top of the sixth.  Yordano Ventura was awful, and Kelvim Herrera was worse.  Greg Holland nearly induced 40,526 myocardial infarctions by loading the bases in the top of the ninth.  Even the normally reliable Jason Fraser allowed a runner on first with one out, to score in the top of the 12th.  The offense had to overcome not one, not two, but three deficits.  They had to score eight to stay alive, nine to win, or else the greatest season of my rememberable lifetime was going to crap out on the first roll of the dice. 

Do you know the last time the Royals scored nine runs in a game?

I didn't, so I cheated and looked it up.  August 17th.  Do you know how many times this season the Royals have scored nine (or more) runs?  I didn't, so I cheated and looked it up.  Nine.  Only nine times had they done, what was demanded of them last night.  And only two of those nine, occurred after the All Star Break, and none of them had occurred in six weeks.

That ain't what speed do.  That ain't what pitching do.  That ain't what hitting do.

That, last night?

That's what Royals do.

And for the first time in my conscious memory?

That's a good thing.

It's a damned good thing!

--------------------

Consider what a momentous ninety six hours it's been in our metropolitan area's sports community.  KU has finally pulled the plug on the Charlie Weis error.  Mizzou stuns South Carolina, to save their season.  (And sorry, Pete Stoyanovich -- it did need to be saved.)  The Chiefs boatraced -- absolutely depantsed -- Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, and the Patriots with the entire nation watching.  (God, I still owe you that recap!  Dios con mio!)    I'm sure K-State did something note-worthy too.

But damn.  Last night is a day we'll tell our grandkids about someday, and immediately start crying when trying to convey what that laced grounder to left to close things down means.  Not meant -- means.  I have been known to get emotional from time to time at sporting events.  I've never cried like I did last night.  As the texts started rolling in a little after midnight from friends and family that had stayed up, had kept the faith, had seen this thing through to the starting line, that was my only response I could offer.  I've never cried like I did last night.

And I wasn't the only one.  I made Gregg drop me off at the liquor selling establishment across the street, because I wanted champagne.  Vodka, beer, whiskey, wasn't enough.  This deserved some Barefoot bubbly that 13* could get his coozie on with.  After buying a couple of bottles of champagne, I started crossing the street to head home, and wouldn't you know it, the skies of south Kansas City opened up.  It didn't pour for long, but yeah. 

Last night was so epic?

Even God had to cry.

--------------------

(*: I apologize, Royals fans.  I didn't haul 13 out to start the game last night; I wasn't drinking anything.  Then Chris next to me bought an Aquafina for me; I hauled 13 out of my pocket and put him on.  Go figure, 13 appeared?  Top of the sixth.  Let's just say, if this game doesn't turn out as it did?  13's in the trash can this morning, and he's reeking of stale urine and obscene beer pouring.)

--------------------

Nothing -- not Pete "For President" in 1997, not Tamarick Vanover in overtime in 1995, not Joe to Barnett in the 1993 playoffs, not Dante Hall against denver in 2003, not The Stand against the Chargers in 2010 or The Phumble against them in 2011, not Super Mario's three to force overtime in 2008.  Nothing has ever made me cry for joy, like Salvador Perez' hit last night.  Nothing.

Because nobody thought it would ever happen.  Be honest -- there isn't a Royals fan alive who ever truly imagined they'd ever again play a home game in October.  And for the better part of five hours, it looked like that reality would remain a reality.  When in your life have you seen our team do this?  When in your life have you seen our team seize victory from the lockjaws of defeat, like the Royals did last night? 

Last night is the first time I can remember in my life, where the only baseball team I give a sh*t about, wasn't sh*t. 

I guess that's as good as any, for the 2015 Slogan.  "Royals Baseball: We're Not Sh*tty Anymore!"  We could hire the groundskeepers from "Major League" and everything, to make it truly memorable!

Or, in the words of the great Jay Taylor?

We could use "there's only one thing left to do.  Win the whole godd*mned thing!"

Not even the most religious Royals among us, would have a problem dropping that phrase, over the next four weeks.

--------------------

I'll leave the analysis and the second-guessing and the criticism (most of it deserved) of Ned's managing last night to the trained professionals.  

Because frankly?  I don't care.

I don't care that inserting Yordano Ventura, pitching on one day's rest, and leaving three competent, quality relievers on the shelf with the game and the season potentially on the line, blew up as predictably as it did.  I don't care how many sacrifice bunts were laid down.  I don't care how utterly ridiculous it is to have Billy Butler attempt to steal a base.  I don't care if the lineup made no sense.  I don't care one bit about all those things.

Because folks?  Ned Yost gave us something last night, we haven't had in thirty years.  Ditto Mr.'s Ventura and Butler.  And especially Mr's Hosmer and Perez.  Last night, they gave us something, most of us have never felt before.

They gave us validation.  They gave us actual bona-fide confirmation that this can work.  For the first time in thirty blanking years, our love for these guys, for this team, had a payoff.  If you cried for even a moment last night?  If you laughed, and screamed, and cried some more?  If you high-fived a four year old non-stop, and broke down at the simple phrase "you were here buddy!  You saw this!"?  If you felt pride, if you felt happiness, if you felt joy, if you just typed a bit ago that even God cried last night, and did not mean that for a moment of time as a joke or sarcasm?

Then criticize isn't what you should want to do today. 

--------------------

There are moments in a lifetime, that are so amazing, so incredible, so un-freaking-believable, that you don't just recall the moment.

You memorize it.

I have a few of those moments.  Moments so personal, so important to me, that matter so much I'll never forget even a moment of them, that I know down to the minute when they happened.  12:13am on Tuesday, September 14, 2010.  9:17pm on Tuesday, September 11, 2001.  11:46pm Monday, October 9, 1995.  11:22pm Monday, October 17, 1994.  Every damned minute of Monday, October 6, 1991.

One of them was "The Call" from Vineet.  Every other one, is related to a Chiefs game.

Never before in my life, had the Royals done anything I could remember every detail to.

11:53pm Tuesday, September 30th, 2014.  I'll never forget collapsing into my seat, and sobbing.  I'll never forget high-fiving Brooks.  I'll never forget the group man-hug with Tim, Gordon, Gregg and myself.  I'll never forget the look in Gordon's eyes hugging Gregg. 

I'll never forget 40,000 plus, in a stadium with 38,000 seats, cheering so loudly it could be heard in Waldo.  I live close enough to Waldo to know that it is not within ten miles of the Sports Complex.  And yet, there it was last night, texts and Tweets and Facebook postings that the roar was heard in Waldo.

I’ll never forget the site of all the Blue, all the White, at twenty-nine years of horror wiped out on one play, one incredible play that saw Josh Donaldson miss stopping it from occurring by about 1/16th of an inch.

And I’ll never forget what might replace The Walk In before the Chargers game in 2000, as my favorite one.  Two friends who believed enough in this team, they bought full season tickets for the 2004 season.  That season destroyed baseball for me, I thought for life.

Last night?  All’s forgiven Royals.  All’s forgiven:


(image credit: one of us, either me or Gregg, via my iPhone.  And oh yeah, it's #playoffbeard time.)

--------------------

So ... it's time to finally reveal the theme for this post.

Where were you when the world stopped turning, on that September day?

I know where I was.

I know where Brooks was.

“You were here, buddy!  You saw this!”

It’s been nearly twenty four hours … and I still don’t believe it.  I still don’t believe Eric Hosmer, with the season we’ve waited a lifetime for down to four strikes, absolutely jack the hell out of the fifth pitch he saw … and have it drop between two colliding outfielders at the wall, both of whom admitted afterwards, they couldn’t hear each other calling “I Got It”.  I still don’t believe Christian Colon just making contact, the ball dribbling forty some odd feet down the third base line, as Eric Hosmer sprinted like his last name was Dyson or Gore, and crossed home plate to tie it.

I still don’t believe Christian Colon, knowing he needed to make something happen, channel his 2003 Carlos Beltran, and steal second.

And I still don’t believe 11:53pm CT, on Tuesday, September 30th, 2014 happened.

I was there.  I saw it.

I still don’t believe it.  I’ve rewatched it at least 50 times, once I negotiated a deal with our network firewall dude at work, to “unblock” mlb.com for me.

I didn’t see this last night.  I dropped to my seat the moment Sal Perez’ hit went under Josh Donaldson’s glove, and bawled.

I apologize for not a single tear shed, or single emotion felt.

--------------------

“But I know Jesus, and I talk to God,
And I remember when I was young.
Faith, hope and love?
Are some great things He gave us.
But the greatest?

--------------------

The greatest is love.

Because that’s what I felt last night – unquestioned love.  I’ve had faith.  I’ve had hope.  For ten years?  I haven’t had love.

I’m just a sh*tty blogger who can’t write to save his ass.  I am a real political man.  I don’t watch CNN, but I can tell you the difference, between Iraq and Iran.

I believe in faith.  I believe in hope.

But I have now truly seen love.

Love?  Is my buddy Hoagland flying in from Florida, for one game.  It’s my favorite Royals writer, the awesome Rany Jazayerli, writing this.  It’s Chris Kamler, the awesome Fake Ned, calling Ned “crazy as a fox!”, and being as sober as I was at that game.

Love?  Is absorbing every moment on the walk down the spiral ramp last night.  I hadn’t stepped foot in that stadium since May of 2012, until last night – that’s how little this team mattered to me, how totally destroyed the relationship was, between me and the Royals, due to 2004.  It took me twice as long as everyone else with me to walk out.  I could not stop stopping, to just absorb, to just feel, to just emote.

I’ve never cried like I did last night.  I’ve been up for 34 straight hours at this point.  I cannot afford to go Sunday or Monday without an “installment plan”.  When money’s tight, and times are hard?

Sometimes all you get, is a fucking Christmas card.  (Note: I am not editing that quote, in any way, shape, or form, for a reason.  It’s the reason why I believe the way this has played out?  Is anything but coincidence ... but other than providing the date and video clip hints in the next section, I'm not revealing it.  My closest friends, will get the date significance Sunday is, and that's all that matters.)

But then again, I honestly couldn’t afford last night, and was there.

I have a feeling, that once again, Stevo’s gonna ask Mr. Reason for an “installment plan”.  And if I know Mr. Reason at all?  We’ll be standing there come 6:10ish on Sunday night, crying once again.  And God willing, we’ll be really bawling four hours and fifty three minutes later, with another patented “holy f*cking sh*t!” finish that defies any aspect of reason, common sense, or logic.

Because NOTHING about this season makes sense. 

NOTHING! 

The Royals lose that game last night 99 times out of 100.

They won last night.  They defied the odds.

You can call it coincidence.

Me?  I know better.

I have my reason.

--------------------

I never want to play a game at Arrowhead on October 5th.

If you think the fact the first “real” home playoff game for the Royals in twenty nine years, will occur at Kauffman Stadium on October 5th?  If you think it’s coincidence that the Royals clinched the AL West exactly thirty years ago on October 5th, enabling everything after that to happen?  If you think it's coincidence it started raining as we exited the stadium, if you think it's coincidence it's been raining off and on all day here in the greater Kansas City Metropolitan area?


Oh – and I really want to see my buddy Brooks, one more time.  I want to high five that kid.  I want him to never, ever forget this season.  I was eight in 1985; I don’t remember it.  I only remember the last twenty nine years.

Until last night.

--------------------

This post's theme?

Glad you asked ...

--------------------

“Where were you
When the world stopped turning?
On that September day?

Were you at the K,
With your wife and your children?
Living and dying,
Every play?

Did you stand there in shock,
At the sight of the scoreboard,
As fireworks lit up the sky?

Did you hug all your neighbors?
And hug random strangers?
Or did you just sit down and cry?

Did you hold high your children?
And remember the ones gone,
Who in person did not see?

The Royals!  Victorious!
Bring on the Angels!
On to Los Angelie!

Did you burst out in pride
For the Blue, White and Golden?
Did you cheer like hell
For Alex Gordon?

Did you look up to Heaven,
And simply say “thank you”?
Then look at your best friend,
And crying say “I love you”?

I’m just a blogger
With few writing skills;
But I am once again a Royals fan!

I can tell you the difference
Between Butler and Hosmer,
And (damn) near home runs.

Well I know Jesus,
And I talk to God,
And I remember this from
When I was young.

Faith, hope and love?
Are some good things He gave us.
But the greatest is love.
The greatest is love.

Where were you
When the world stopped turning,
That September day?

Were you waving a towel?
Were you having a cold one?
Or parked on the interstate?

Did you ever believe,
That this could happen?
Did you chew your nails
Until you drew blood?

Did you cry with emotion,
When the twelfth inning happened?
Did you cry so much,
That you caused a flood?

Did you open your eyes,
Believe with a passion?
Did you close your eyes,
And simply pray?

Did you leave for the exits,
Before it was over.
Or did you stay
And keep the faith?

Did you fly in from Tampa,
And drive in from Clinton?
Did you blow off work,
Because that game mattered more?

Did you stay up all night,
Out of excitement?
Or because you
Still cannot believe the score?

I’m just a blogger
With few writing skills;
But I am once again a Royals fan!

I can tell you the difference
Between Butler and Hosmer,
And (damn) near home runs.

Well I know Jesus,
And I talk to God,
And I remember this from
When I was young.

Faith, hope and love?
Are some good things He gave us.
But the greatest is love.
The greatest is love.

The greatest?
Is love.

Where were you
When the world stopped turning?
On that September day?


It's the only song that ran through my head, as Christian Colon crossed home plate last night.

Because last night?  The world as I've always known it?  

Stopped turning.

--------------------

Oh, yeah.  This too:



Royals fans?

We've crawled through 500 feet of shit smelling foulness, for this.

Royals fans?  It may have taken us a decade longer than Andy Dufresne.  But welcome to October.

Welcome to October!  (cue the stevo waterworks for a fifty fifth time in the last thirty four hours.)

Last night was the single greatest sporting event I've ever attended, and I have been privileged enough in life to attend quite a few biggies.

Nothing has ever meant more to me, in a sports world sense, than last night.

I dare you to stop the tears, flowing down my face, just thinking about what last night means.  Again -- not meant.

Means.

Now, then, and always ...

Saturday, September 27, 2014

week four: the smoke ...

“I can feel it coming
In the air tonight,
Oh Lord.

And I've been waiting for this moment,
All my life,
Oh Lord.

Can you feel it
Coming in the air tonight?
Oh Lord, Oh Lord ...


--------------------

Last Week ATS: 8-8-0.
Season to Date ATS: 21-27-0.

Last Week SU: 10-6-0.
Season to Date SU: 28-20-0.

Last Week “Screw You Pete King” Upset / Week: the jinx worked!
Season to Date Upset / Week ATS: 1-2-0.
Season to Date Upset / Week SU: 1-2-0.
This Week’s “Screw You Pete King” Upset / Week: (2006 stevo voice) take a mother f*cking guess.  (2006 damien voice) Oh sh*t!  Holy sh*t!  He thinks we're gonna win!  He thinks we're gonna win!  He believes we're gonna win!  (current day stevo voice) Damned skippy, Doc.  Damned skippy ...

--------------------

As always, all lines provided by Danny Sullivan, via USA Today.  Danny Sullivan: Stevo’s Site Numero Dos’ Official Oddsmaker!

--------------------

The Non-Jets, Non-Chiefs Best Guesses:

* Byes: “Super” Cardinals, Rams, Seahawks, broncos, Bengals, Browns.

* Giants (+3) 28, at Redskins 20.  As tweeted on, uuh, Twitter Thursday afternoon.  I was 100% sure the Giants would win.  I never saw a woodshed beating coming.

* Eagles (+5) 34, at 49ers 16.  I think the 49ers are in deep, deep trouble.  Love the Eagles in this spot.

* Dolphins (-3 ½) 6, raiders 2 (Game Played in London).  As I noted earlier this week, has there ever been a Week Four NFL game where BOTH coaches were fired in the postgame presser?  It’s a mortal lock the loser is getting poop-canned before the team plane lands on American concrete.  But the winner isn’t exactly safe.  Especially if “drunk” dennis allen pulls the upset.


* at Bears (+2) 35, Packers 31.  For a day filled with duds, it’s not a terrible double header on FOX.  Packers / Bears, Eagles / 49ers.  And Saints / Cowboys as the Sunday nighter on NBC.  There’s a decent shot that’s at least four of your six NFC playoff teams. 

* Bills (+3) 24, at Texans 17.  It’s Ryan Mallett Time.  Also, “Webster Game O’ The Week”! honors.  Yes, I am aware this is two 2-1 squads.  Doesn’t matter; I’d rather watch three straight hours of “Webster” than this craptacular matchup.

* Panthers (+3) 24, at Ravens 23.  Forgot to include this one in the Week One Glossary – this is the Wayne Allyn Root Contrarian Game O’ The Week.  When the entire betting public seems to be leaning one way?  Bet the opposite.  Everyone seems to think Steve Smith is single-handedly able to win this game.  That may be true, but there’s only one player on that field Sunday I think can do that, and he wears Numero Dos for your (because they sure as hell aren’t my) Carolina Panthers.  I think this is gonna be Cam Newton’s best game as a pro.

* at Vikings (+3) 34, Falcons 24.  No Peterson?  No bueno.  No Cassel?  Muy Bueno!

* at Chargers 24, Jaguars (+13) 14.  Too many points.  Plus, I’m a huge Blake Bortles fan.  He’ll make this one closer than it should be.

* at Colts (-8) 45, Titans 13.  Charlie Whitehurst on the field.  Colts will be tied for the division lead by the time this one is over.  (I really, really love the Bills at Houston this week.  A lot.  Not as much as I like Indy on Sunday, but close.) 


* at Steelers 27, Bucs (+7 ½) 20.  Thanks for the half point!  There’s no way Tampa is this putrid.  Lovie Smith is too good a coach to tolerate this.  And the Steelers aren’t as good as the Panthers made them look last week.  Correction game.

* at Cowboys (+3) 31, Saints 13.  This might be the most one-sided matchup of the last twenty years.  The Saints have won 8 of the last 10, played over those twenty years, and it’s usually a beatdown.  Just playing a hunch here.

--------------------

The Tailgating Plans:

Here’s what I know, as of Saturday afternoon.

We’ve got the Early In Pass (as usual), and The Bus departs between 12:30 and 1pm from the, uuh, Bus Barn.  (Gotta accommodate folks working a half day, that can't work that half day from home, as I plan to.)  At last count we have 13 riding out; as always, if you don’t want to pay for parking, you’re welcome to ride with us. 

We should be in our usual spot (the grassy lot north of the G30 sign) sometime after 1pm.  Beer pong commences within thirty minutes of getting set up, and getting Mixology going.  This grizzled veteran is ready to take on the (joe pesci voice) utes, and (the chica voice) give them the business.  Although this grizzled veteran still wishes – for just one game – it could be vodka tonic pong.

The current menu is Brady Brats.  Not brats as in bratwurst, but brats, as in spoiled rotten kids that drive you nuts.  There’ll be an assortment of appetizers, side dishes and desserts.  There’ll be a healthy supply of beer, champagne, vodka, and whatever else floats our boat when Mona and I hit the liquor store either Sunday afternoon or Monday morning.

We’re expecting close to fifty, between our group, Roger and Diane and Brad’s folks, and Ron and Michelle and Ryan’s crew.  Should be one fun day, one last almost summer-like afternoon (forecast is 83 and sunny) to enjoy this year.

As always, if you need me to reserve a spot for you by us, please let me know.  We’re asking if you plan to tailgate with us for more than a quick “hello”, to bring what you want to drink … and feel free to toss in a side dish or appetizer.  (Pause).  I suppose this is where I need to point out that a half-eaten bag of Oreo’s is NOT an acceptable side dish.  Splurge on the full bag.  It won’t kill you.  (Pause).  What?  (Pause).  Yeah, good point – if buying a new bag of Oreo's will bankrupt you?  You got far bigger problems, than trying to buy a bag of Oreo's.

Hope to see you, for what (as of now) is going to be the best 1-2 punch in Kansas City sports history.  Chiefs / Pats Monday.  Royals / A’s Tuesday (more on this potential game momentarily).  

Come out and enjoy it.

--------------------

The Watching Party Plans:

There are no The Watching Party Plans, due to this being a home game for the Chiefs.

--------------------

The Poem:

 “But then I stop,
Because I spot a car,
That might contain,
My special little star!” ©

“Then I open the program,
To see who our referee will be,
And I shout out with horror,
Sweet Jesus!  Ed Hochuli!” ©

As for The Poem?
Do I really need to say,
Why you should show up,
For football on Monday?

It’s Chiefs!  It’s Pats!
It’s in prime time!
Do you really need me
To make my words rhyme?

Believe in this team folks;
They’re better than you think.
And yes, that is an opinion,
I’ve formed over many a drink!

But as great as Monday will be?
As much as this win, might leave you in a daze?
It will feel nothing -- NOTHING! --
Like Tuesday, when we beat the A's!

We've earned this, KC.
We have earned this amazing moment.
Two games.  Two nights.
Two teams that, frankly, need atonement.

Monday night, we exorcise the demon
That is Bill and his Pats.
Tuesday night, we exorcise the demon
That is twenty nine years of failure! ©

We have waited for this moment,
For most of our lives.
Even as we've graduated, moved on --
Most of us have wives.

But this?  This is something special,
And thank the good Lord above,
For what He has given us, KC,
For this week to come.

Royals!  Chiefs!
The nation's focus is on us!
Let's just hope Hy-Vee's focus,
Is on the damned Bus.

Because Monday?  
The Chiefs win.
And Tuesday?  
The Royals will as well.

Here's how epic this run is --
My mommy actually cares!
She was so happy last night,
She used a word* that I wouldn't dare!

This is what we live for,
Sports fans!
Forty eight hours,
To get one helluva tan!

No wait -- let me rephrase that.
Although shirtless I probably will be.
Forty eight hours,
With two awesome victories!

Show up Monday!
That day is gonna rule!
But Tuesday?  Tuesday is the day,
All the cool kids, skip school.

October 6, 1991 --
A day any Chiefs fan will never erase.
September 30, 2014 --
A day every Royals fan will embrace.

This "Double Header" back to back?
Is what sports is all about.
Don't be afraid to yell --
Godd*mmit, scream and shout!

This is our finest hour, KC!
This is what we've prayed for!
Do your part to make sure,
Both the Chiefs and the Royals score!

© 2014 Stevo Productions, No Rights Reserved.  May be rebroadcast at any time without the expressed, written consent of Major League Baseball.  First and second © for classic phrases; third © is for Jenni, as always.

--------------------

(* ok, fine, that's "fertilizer".  Oh, she did say it.  It was one helluva special moment in life.  But she said it this morning.  It rhymes with my favorite NBA team, and it was used in the adjective form, with the word "cool" after said word.  I love my mommy sometimes.)

--------------------

The “Klassy” Kevin Keitzman Tweet O’ The Week:

For once, I come to praise the Klassy One:


(photo credit: Snag-It 10, via my laptop.)

I have never wanted Kevin Keitzman to be right more in my life, than I do, with that Tweet.

--------------------

The Voice of Reason’s, uuh, Reason:

To be posted when and/or if received.  As always, will be posted unedited save for font and text formatting.

--------------------

The Jets Best Guess:

They’re not losing two straight to NFC Norris competition at home.

* at Jets (-1 ½) 19, Lions 14.  


--------------------

Tuesday:

I don't even know where to begin, other than to say, I pray Tuesday doesn't happen.  I pray it's Saturday.

Because Saturday, means the Royals have won the AL Central for the first time ever, and have a very winnable series against the Orioles.

But if it's Tuesday?  If Tuesday is when the Royals open this postseason?

Mr. Reason and I will be there, in whatever section, and whatever seat, I'm paying him $60 for the privilege, of doing so.

I've already warned him privately, so I'll warn all of you who might want to meet up with us, publically.

I am going to cry.  A lot.  

Hell, I'm crying just typing this.

Just like I cried for 43 straight minutes last night -- and awesomely, that is not a joke -- I cried for 43 straight minutes last night, watching (and re-watching) this:


For the life of me, I'm not sure what of those four minutes and fifty four seconds, is my favorite.  It's like having kids -- you don't play favorites.

(Which is an abject lie.  You always have a favorite.  And mine, is Moose at the 1:08 mark, shouting "F*ck yeah, Boys!" after man-hugging Lorenzo Cain.  If THAT is not a Stevo move at its' finest?  Then y'all don't know me at all).

And in case you missed how I feel about what Tuesday could be, I summed up what it means to me, Thursday night.

--------------------

The Chiefs Prognostication:

Has there ever been a prime-time regular season game LESS anticipated in this town, than Monday's Chiefs / Pats (the late, great don fambrough voice) showdown, throwdown, hoedown?

Other than the last time, the Chiefs and Pats faced each other on Monday night?  And you can pick your year -- 2000?  2004?  2011?

I picked the theme that I did, because it is the song that will close down The Tailgate.  There are very few moments in life guaranteed to make me cry.  (Note: this is an abject bullsh*t lie.)  But one of the very few, is hearing the haunting opening notes of "In The Air Tonight", as the sun sets behind us, and the smoke wafts over Arrowhead, for the walk in, creating a perfect storm of scenery.

Monday?  Celebrate the day.  Be loud.  This season is NOT over.  If the Royals of 2014 taught you anything, it should be to NEVER give up.  Don't EVER give up.

Be loud.  Make sure you leave that stadium with your hands hurting.  It should hurt to breathe Tuesday morning.

And then get ready, if that is the case, to do it all over again, Tuesday afternoon.

We're Chiefs.  And we're loud!

We're Royals.  And we're proud!  


Do yourself a favor.  Watch the stadium on the walk in.  Notice the smoke.  

And thank God above, for the privilege He's granted you, to get the opportunity to notice it.

* at Chiefs (+3) 11, Patriots 0.  If you don't get the significance of that score, then you've never been a fan, of at least one squad, taking the field in the hallowed stadiums of the Truman Sports Complex, at some point this week ...

Thursday, September 25, 2014

thursday, september 25th: the password is "one" ...

“*Society blind by color;
Why hold down one, to raise another?
Discrimination now on both sides;
Seeds of hate?  Blossom further.

The world is headed for mutiny,
When all we want is unity.

(*: I can’t defend my love of this song, or this cd for that matter, other than to note, that here’s the keeper line – and please, feel free to shout it, because truer words have never been spoken or sung in, uuh, song, if you change “may” to “will” …)

We may rise and fall.
But in the end?
We'll meet our fate together!

One!  Oh, one!
The only way is one!

One!  Oh, one!
The only way is one! …”


--------------------

This?  Is what I intended to post, earlier today, had the Mariners lost.

Enjoy.

Please -- enjoy.

--------------------

One.

I literally just cried typing those three letters.

One.

Good God, it’s so dusty in this room right now, you’d think I’d never heard of Swiffer or any other cleaning agent.

One.

Hang on, let me type it … one more time.

Dammit!  Stop making me cry at typing one word!

Dammit!  I did it again.  OK, let’s try this one more time.

Sumbeach!  OK, here goes …

One.

God bless it, stop crying, Stevo!

There’s no crying in baseball!

--------------------

We have waited thirty bleeping years for this day.  Thirty bleeping years.  Today – Friday, September 26, 2014, is a day you are going to tell your grandkids about.  And I am fully aware most of you reading this, don’t have a kid over the age of ten.

For crying out loud, the author of this post, doesn’t even have one kid, he’s been sued for child support over.

(Pause).  Again!  What’s with that one word, that so gets to me!

(cue the tears …)

--------------------

We have risen, and we have fallen, over the last thirty years.  Be it personally, be it professionally, we have all risen, and we have all fallen, as have our Boyz N Blue.  Hell, this season alone, they were eight back – eight freaking games back – eight weeks ago.  They were done-zo.

(Funny.  Eight?  No emotion.  One?  I need a drainage ditch, to carry the tears away.)

And now, here we stand.  Or sit.  Or are in a tantric position.  Hey, whatever floats your boat.  We don’t judge on this site.

Friday, September 26, 2014. 

A day we have dreamed about.  A day we only imagined.

A day that is now reality.

You have risen.  And you have fallen. 

I have risen.  (Yeah, right).  And I have fallen.  (penny voice) Right!

And the Royals, our Boyz N Blue, our Fine 25, our Fine 40, our Fine however many damned players are on the active 40 man roster (I believe it’s 37 at last count), they have risen (on the rarest of occasions).  And the Royals have fallen (on almost all occasions).

But today?

We meet our fates together.

As one.

Again, one?  Really?

God, it’s getting dusty in this room …

--------------------

I had a great friend growing up, who was my go-to buddy, to go to Royals games.  It didn’t matter how sh*tty this club was, all I had to do was call James, or he’d call me, and the only two questions either of us would ask on a random Sunday morning would be (a) who’s driving and (b) Bud Heavy or Miller Lite.

We usually tailgated in Lot G.  Occasionally Lot H.  And always sat in old Left Field GA.  And being the shameless, classless guys we were, usually a t-shirt wasn’t anywhere to be found.  Because that’s what Royals baseball meant to us – an excuse to get ridiculously drunk, and not give a damn about life for an afternoon, while getting a decent shade of red from something other than the alcohol.

It never occurred to us, that the Royals would matter.  It never once hit us, that the team we heard about from our parents, could possibly matter to us beyond an excuse to drink in public, and soak up some sun.

James passed away Friday, August 20, 2004, in the early morning hours of what was his twenty seventh birthday.

I’ve always thought it was appropriate, in a sick kind of way, that he died during the season that murdered Royals baseball for me.

And I think it’s beyond appropriate, that he’s the first person I thought of, as the day before greatness, ends.

--------------------

Folks?  It’s time to … hang on.  (Pause).  You know what?  I’m in such a great mood, I’m not even going to complete mock the man.  Ladies and gentlemen, Vice President Biden.

(vice president biden voice) Folks!  It’s time to win!  A three letter word – WIN!

--------------------

When it comes to plagiarism, I can’t compete with the Vice President.  So in my (pathetic) show of solidarity for The Sports Guy, I’m stealing his “win this for” column, from before Game Four of the 2004 World Series.

I apologize for nothing.

--------------------

Today?

Win this game, Royals.

Be our first playoff team in almost two generations.

But don’t win it for yourselves.  Don’t win it for just yourselves.  Don’t win it for just your loved ones, your treasured acquaintances, your life changers.

Because of all the lyrics to choose?

None are more appropriate, than the money shot.

“We may rise and fall.
But in the end?
We meet our fate …

… Together!”

--------------------

Today?

Win it for us.

Because we are one.

With you.

----------------------

Win this game for Ayden.  Win this game for Garrett.  Win this game for Jack and Ethan, for Heath Junior and Lucas.  Win this game for Rocco.  Win this game for Miles.  Win this game for every kid under the age of accountability in this town, so that they can remember what this feels like. 

Win this for their parents, many of whom are coming up, in the “win it for” roster call. 

--------------------

Win it for my brother.  Win it for that Royals trucker hat I stole from him for this pennant drive, that I’ve worn every weekend this year.  Give us one amazing, awesome, never-forget-it man hug on Tuesday, in the parking lot where we properly prepare, for Wild Card Mania. 

Or Saturday, where we properly prepare for Division Round Mania.

Win it for Brett.  And win it for Scotty.  And win it for their dad.

Win it for Heath, the most die-hard Royals fan you’ll ever meet.  He is to Royals baseball?  What I’d like to think I am, to Chiefs football.

Win it for Anthony, and win it for his folks, and win it for his sister.

Hell, I’m feeling generous – win it for Dusty. God knows The Champ and I spent enough time witnessing sh*ttacular baseball.  Win it for The Champ, and win it for The Chica.  Win it for Beth and her sister, who were there for every game in 1985.  Win today for them. 

Because they’ve EARNED this.

Win it for Phil.  Win it for that waitress who dropped the “you let him drive?!?!” blast at the Quaff, in describing me, the last time this team truly mattered, on Labor Day Weekend 2003.

--------------------

Win it for Oxygen Tank Dude.  No, seriously – win this for Oxygen Tank Dude.  Win it for Right Field GA’s greatest occupant.

Oh, and if there is a playoff game played at The K, and a relative of Oxygen Tank Dude is NOT chucking a ceremonial first pitch? 

Then Toby Cook should be fired.

(Pause).

Win this game for Toby Cook, for all the undeserved crap he’s had to endure over the years.

--------------------

Win this game for Mr. Kauffman, and win it for David Glass.  Yes – win it for David Glass.  No, he’s not Ewing Kauffman.  But he did what Mr. Kauffman asked – he kept this team – OUR team – here in Kansas City, when no doubt Portland or Phoenix or Tampa or Charlotte or the District would have overpaid to move it. 

Win this one for ownership, past and present.

Oh – and please, enjoy a very stiff one, in honor of Mrs. Kauffman.

And win this one, for her.

As well as our Ol’ Pardner, the late, great Mr. William Grigsby.

--------------------

And please – give your dog a very healthy feeding of Meaty Bones, in honor of Harry.  You all have no idea, how much I’d love to be feeding Priest a few of those, right now …

--------------------

Win it for the Kauffman’s daughter, who has poured millions into making this metropolitan area the amazing, awe-inspiring city we live in and love.  The Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts is a national treasure.  Win this one for Irene and the remaining Kauffman descendants.

Win this one for every usher, every ticket taker, every vendor, who’s had to suffer through awful season after awful season.  A labor of love come mid-August.  Win this one for Archie, who has proudly been serving me my beers in 132 at Arrowhead for years … and who I seek out at Kauffman, to ensure he gets something for his work for the night. 

Win this one for Christine, my bartender in the lower bowl at Arrowhead for those moments I can’t wait for Archie to walk down the aisle, who works near 332 at Kauffman.  Win this one for her. 

--------------------

Win this one for the late, great Randall Carlyle Wakefield, who (true story) used to control the music you heard in between innings at Kauffman, back when it was Royals Stadium. 

I pray “I Love a Rainy Night” by Eddie Rabbit plays at least once this postseason. 

Oh, please – by the way? 

Win this one for Nancy.

--------------------

Win this one for Paul Splittorff.  We’ll never forget you dude. 

Win this one for Dick Howser.  Win this one for … for once?  This post demands proper respect, without mocking his inability to correctly state a name.

Win this one?

For Fred White.

And win it for Denny, for the Beaver.  Win it for “hello, is representative there”.  Win it for Physioc, if only because he’s named Steve.

And (fidelity ad guy voice) why not?

Win it for Rex Hudler.

--------------------

Win this one for every member of the 1985 roster.  Win this one for every fan who stepped foot inside that stadium in the 1985 postseason.  Win this for Balboni, for McRae, for Iorg.  Win this for Motley, for Biancalana, for Sundberg.  Win it for Sabes, for Liebrandt, for DJ, for Gubby.  Win it for Lonnie Smith.  Win it for Don Denkinger.

And dammit – win it for Quiz.

Please – WIN THIS for Quiz.  And for Janie.  And every member of the Quiz family.  And for every one of us, who has ever read his incredible poetry, or witnessed his absolute awesomeness not as a player, but as a human being.  This franchise will NEVER employ a man as … for lack of a better word?  Amazing.

As Dan Quizenberry was.

Win this for him.

--------------------

Win this for Art Stewart.  Win this one for his greatest find, Vincent Edward Jackson.  

Win this one for Joe Posnanski.

And please – please!  If you do nothing else in this rise, fall, and meeting our fate as one, Royals?

(Pause).

Win this one for John Jordan O’Neil.

And please, make damned certain, someone worthy of his greatness, is sitting in his seat, come next Tuesday or Saturday. 

Make DAMNED certain it’s Bob Kendrick, in that seat.

--------------------

Win this one for greatness.

Win it for 5, 10, and 20.

Win it for George Brett.  Win it for Dick Howser.  Win it for Frank White.

And Toby Cook?

Make damned certain the two living of those three names, have spots of honor, on Tuesday or Saturday.

--------------------

Win this one for Jasson, and win this one for Gregg.  The three of us have had many a fun day inside that stadium in support of a losing cause.  (And in a rarity, the “support of a losing cause”, wasn’t in support of me (rimshot!)  (scott hall voice) Hey yo!) 

Win this for every Double Header Day we’ve enjoyed.  Win this for every “sure, just pay me back before Jesus returns” ticket buy we’ve made for each other.  Win this for two amazing friends, who have made this friendship work, through the rises and falls, through the ups and downs, through the truths and the lies, through the smelly and the sh*tty.  Win this one for them, the two best friends a dude could ever have.

They deserve this.

And win it for Brent as well.  He may be Topeka … but he’s Kansas City.

--------------------

And my next to last request?

Win this one for James.

--------------------

Because my last request?

Glad you asked …

--------------------

Royals?

Win this one …

… for me.

week twelve picks

The Statisticals. Last Week SU: 8-6-0. Season to Date SU: 98-62-1. Last Week ATS: 7-7-0. Season to Date ATS: 75-80-6. Last Week Upset / ...