“Why not think about times to come,
And not about the things that you’ve done?
And if your life’s been bad to you?
Just think what tomorrow could do!
Don’t! Stop!
Thinking about tomorrow!
Don’t! Stop!
It’ll soon be here!
It’ll be here –
Better than before!
‘Cause yesterday’s gone!
Yesterday’s gone! …”
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As best I can tell, this is what the ballot I cast tomorrow will look like,
when I head to the Disabled American Veterans place, next to the abandoned bowling alley off of 87th and Blue Ridge Boulevard tomorrow, to
cast my ballot for #Election2016.
If how I vote guides your decision, wonderful. If it doesn’t, fantastic. Just please, get out and vote. If even I can manage to make a polling place
by 7pm CT (and I plan to be there when my polling station opens at 6am – I mean
hell, if I can’t walk the equivalent of two blocks to exercise the greatest freedom that we have,
then why do I have this freedom, to determine my country’s future), then what
is your excuse?
As you will notice from my ballot, I do not vote party
line. Hell, if you know me, you know
that’s the truth – I am a registered Democrat who hasn’t voted to put a donkey
in the White House since 2000. (And hasn’t
voted for a Republican to represent me in the Senate since … uuh … I forget. I’m honestly not sure that has ever happened,
unless Bob Dole was running on the ballot both for the Presidency and the
Senate in 1996. Although in my defense,
look at the “options” I faced the last twenty years – Pat Roberts (ugh) or Sam
Brownback (never) when I lived in Kansas; Roy Blunt or Todd Akin in Missouri
(not a chance in hell).
And if the theme to this post doesn’t give away who I’m
voting for at the top of the ballot?
Then you didn’t pay even the slightest bit of attention to
politics, in 1992.
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* President (and Vice President): Hillary Clinton and Tim
Kaine (D). All I need to justify this
vote, to be brutally honest, is to (a) look at my friends who backed Bernie
Sanders, and (b) look at my friends who back Donald Trump.
Not because I think they’re wrong to support either
candidate; it’s your vote – all I ask is that you use it however your
conscience sees fit to, uuh, use it. But
because my friends backing Mr. Sanders argued Mrs. Clinton isn’t “liberal
enough”, and my friends backing Mr. Trump
believe Mrs. Clinton is “worse than Obama”.
Which means she’s exactly what I’ve always felt she was: a
true moderate, willing to work with either party for the best solution to our
nation’s problems. And thanks to the ineptitude
both sides have sent to the White House in the last sixteen years, is exactly
what this country needs.
There are things about Secretary Clinton I don’t like, not
the least of which is her strident pro-choice stand, not the most of which is
her indefensible continual lying about the “email scandal”. It’s my biggest complaint about Hillary,
actually – she automatically assumes all criticism of her is based on hatred or
bias or something other than reality.
Madam Secretary? Take a bit of
advice from someone who’s had to do this a lot in his life:
When you f*ck up? Own
it, admit it, apologize for said f*ck up, then go about repairing the damage your
mistakes made. Be humble, be contrite,
be genuinely sorry, and learn from it.
It’s called a “life lesson” for a reason. People will always forgive the sinner. If not the sin. But not if you don’t admit you’re wrong to
begin with.
In the interest of honesty, if the Republican ticket was
flipped, I could have been talked into it.
Reluctantly, but it could have happened.
But I cannot in good faith say that I can stand before the face of God
someday, and confirm I sold out my values and beliefs, to vote for the most
evil man to ever be this close to the Presidency, because he might appoint a
Supreme Court nominee that keeps the court centralized, versus pulled far
left. I cannot in good faith say that I
can stand before the fact of God someday, and confirm I sold out my values and
beliefs, for a man who thinks grabbing women by their privatest of parts is
acceptable, who brags, boasts, and beams with pride over his constant degrade
and disrespect for his wife, and who claims he owes no confession or absolution
for his sins because he has nothing to confess.
This man is just … I’ll stop there. Vote your conscience. I have too strong of one – I was raised too
appropriately – to cast my vote for this vile of a human being.
Having said that, this is my final projected Electoral College map ... and yes, it really is about one state: New Hampshire. New Hampshire. New Hampshire.
New Bleeping Hampshire.
Just like it was sixteen years ago, if we're being honest:
* United States Senate: Jason Kander (D). Of every endorsement I’ll read this election
cycle, the Kansas City Star signing off on another six years of Roy Blunt
disgusts me the most. Roy Blunt is
Washington at its worst – his family gravy trains as lobbyists, he never fails
to shove a pork-ladened amendment into an otherwise quality piece of
legislation, and he’s so bought and paid for by the tobacco lobby that I’m
shocked Joe Camel didn’t appear at a Roy Blunt campaign rally.
Kander’s done a decent job as Secretary of State. God knows he had some issues on his watch
that would try the patience of Job – Ferguson, that journalism professor “asking
for muscle” during the racial protests at Mizzou – and he’s handled those
things as reasonably well as can be hoped for.
(If you doubt me, look at Baltimore’s reaction to the racial tensions that
erupted this year.)
With God’s good grace and a bit of luck, Mr. Kander might
become as powerful a force for Missouri as Senator McCaskill is. Even if he’s worse than imaginable? He’s still better than Roy Blunt.
* United States House of Representatives: Jacob Turk (R). I wouldn’t vote for “Car Wash” Cleaver if you
put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger.
“Sleazy” Manny Cleaver is a disgrace.
Sadly, there is no chance in hell Mr. Cleaver is not going to win; the 5th
Congressional District in Missouri wouldn’t elect a Republican if God Himself
demanded it be done. But a kid can
dream. And the dream of “Sleazy” Manny
Cleaver retired to the pulpit (yup, he’s a Reverend … and to think people actually
ask why I refuse to step foot in a place of worship to, uuh, worship), is a
dream I proudly cling to.
* Governor of Missouri: Eric Greitens (R). This is the one that I spent the most time
agonizing over. I think Eric Greitens’
ads against Chris Koster are disgraceful, disgusting, and outrageously
false. But at the end of the day, Chris
Koster isn’t someone I want representing Missouri to the world. He’s just not a good dude from afar. I’d call him a sleazy opportunist who
switched parties to get elected but … oh wait, he is a sleazy opportunist who
switched parties to get elected. My
bad. (And funny how all you Trumpsters
reading this, probably found that last comment funny. #irony)
Either person would do a decent job running the state; Jay
Nixon has been a tremendous governor the last eight years, and will leave the
state in the best shape it’s been in, in decades. I just think Mr. Greitens is the better
option. Hence my vote.
* Lieutenant Governor of Missouri: Russ Carnahan (D). Jesus God above, I’m voting for a Carnahan. I’m not sure there’s enough whiskey in
Jackson County to absolve me of that fact.
Let’s just move on; there’s really no good options here, only awful
ones.
* Secretary of State of Missouri: Jay Ashcroft (R). I’ve rarely if ever felt more disgusted with
a decision I’ve made, and I’m fully aware there’s that night involving a
stripper, a cripple, and a chick with a mustache. I’m voting for an Ashcroft. That might be worse than voting for a
Carnahan. They’re both awful, awful political
families that have done significant damage to Missouri and the nation over the
last four decades.
* Attorney General of Missouri: Teresa Hensley (D). A few people I’ve talked to think she’s the
real deal, from her time in Cass County.
Good enough for me. All the AG
has to do is throw a competent presser a couple times a year when some heinous
crime occurs in the state. She seems
like she can pull that off at least as competently as Mr. Koster has these last
four years.
* Treasurer of Missouri: Eric Schmidt (R). You have to be a brain dead idiot to put a
Democrat in charge of the Treasury. And
I say this as a registered Democrat.
* Missouri Senate, District 9: “Kiki” Curls (D). Running unopposed. Also, you have to love a candidate who goes
by “Kiki”. (Note: if I write in a friend
on the ballot, as Mr. Reason always does on his in unopposed races, this is the
one that gets a write-in.)
* Missouri House of Representatives, District 27: Richard
Brown (D). Running unopposed. Could be another “shout out to a friend”
write-in vote.
* Missouri Supreme Court: Richard Teitelman – vote Retain. Unless a judge has unfairly incarcerated me
for a night or three, I’ll always vote to retain.
* Missouri Court of Appeals, Eastern Appellate District:
James Dowd, Philip Hess – vote Retain. I
can’t recall any offensive appeal to rail against. Retain competence.
* Missouri 16th Judicial Circuit Court: (hang on
folks, there’s a list of these people coming) Jalilah Otto, Sandra Midkiff,
David Byrn, J. Dale Youngs, S. Margene Burnett, Bryan Round, Joel Fahnestock,
Wesley Brent Powell, Jennifer Phillips, Jeffrey Neal, Janette Rodecap, Robert
Trout – vote Retain on all.
(Pause). You know what? I just realized something. I haven’t appeared in a court room as a
defendant, for any reason, in at least four years! I haven’t spent an unfortunate night in
incarceration, in any jurisdiction, in well over four years! #progress!
* Ballot Initiatives:
Proposition A, Missouri $0.23 Cigarette Sales Tax: Yes. I have to be consistent. If I support legalizing marijuana for more
than the obvious … then I have to support raising taxes on every other legal (or hopefully, soon to be) tobacco-type product, for the public’s best interest. Also, Missouri cigarette taxes are
ridiculously low, and if this doesn’t pass, then you know they’re coming after
alcohol next to fund whatever idiocy this promises to fund. And I’m getting sick and tired of paying
nearly $40 / handle for Weller, that was $29 / handle four years ago.
Having said that, you’re going to call me a complete bleeping
hypocrite in five … four … three …
Constitutional Amendment 3, Missouri $0.60 Cigarette Sales
Tax: No. No just no, but hell no.
For starters, what the hell does a cigarette tax have to do
with the damned state’s constitution? I
swear, this state is becoming as ridiculous as California with their amendment
ballot initiatives. Secondly, doesn’t
federal funding already fund Head Start and early childhood development
programs? Thirdly, I’m getting damned
sick and tired of this “the language of the provision ensures politicians can
only use the money for” promises. That’s
what we were told twenty years ago when we legalized casinos! How many more f*cking taxes and promises do
you have to reneg on, before you finally properly fund our school systems,
Jefferson City?
Here’s a thought: grow a pair, and use it to properly fund
our schools, by making choices WE elect you to do, and craft a budget that does
it, taxes be damned! Who in their right
mind would vote against properly funding a public education system? Who in their right mind would boot someone
out of power for raising taxes 1/8th of 1% to balance the damned
budget?
This is the single worst thing right-wing talk radio has
unleashed upon the nation, is this ridiculous “all taxes are evil”
bullsh*t. No, they aren’t. Taxes serve a useful purpose – they pay for
the public services we all use and (at least somewhat) enjoy!
There’s a reason why propositions and amendments like this
keep failing in Missouri: because we’re too stupid to fall for them. I’ll choke down Proposition A, because it’s
reasonable. There’s no way I’ll vote to
amend the constitution – the governing document of the freaking state – to mandate
a tax on cigarettes. There’s a place for
something like that. It’s called a “piece
of legislation passed by the state Congress”, not the bleeping constitution.
Constitutional Amendment 4, Prohibition on Extending Sales
Tax to Previously Untaxed Services: No.
The second toughest decision on the ballot for me, because I’m currently
neck-deep in a committee project at work to deal with all the states putting
this on the ballot come Tuesday. (And
trust me, if these things pass, it will be a nightmare to deal with, both
accounting and tax-reporting wise.)
Having said that …
I can go along with this, because the playing field isn’t
level across state lines. (Deal with
processing -- or creating -- an invoice for even ten minutes, and you’ll get it.) Some states charge tax on internet sales;
some don’t. Some charge tax on services
and fees; some don’t. You’ll drive
yourself bat sh*t crazy trying to not only figure out if, when billing a
client, taxes apply … you’ll really drive yourself Trump sh*t crazy trying to
figure out if reciprocal taxes apply, based on what the invoice is for, from
whatever state the vendor is based in.
It’s insane.
Again – not all taxes are evil, and not all taxes are equal. Charging a fair rate like other progressive
states do seems the reasonable and right thing to do. So I’m voting no, on this amendment.
Amendment 1, Missouri Sales Tax for Parks and Conservation:
Yes. It’s to renew the state parks
tax. It’s a 1/10th of 1%
surcharge. If you enjoy floating the Elk
or Niangra at least one weekend every summer?
You’d damned well better vote yes.
Constitutional Amendment 2, Missouri State and Judicial
Campaign Contribution Limits: No. If
ridiculously right and left wing idealalogues are going to attack judges for
interpreting the law? Then give judges
the right to defend their decisions and rulings to the people through advertising. Free speech.
Let it breathe.
Constitutional Amendment 6, Missouri Voter ID Requirement:
Yes. Good God, who DOESN’T have a valid
state-issued ID? You can’t cash a check
without one, which pretty much destroys every argument against this
proposal. If the poorest of the poor can’t
cash their benefit and/or assistance check from the government without an ID,
then who the hell DOESN’T have an ID?
That appears to be it, for what will appear on my ballot come (hopefully) 6:05ish tomorrow morning.
Whatever appears on yours? Vote your conscience. I suppose that is why this is my favorite political ad of the year, and for once, it's not an outrageous lie. True character is said to be revealed in how you treat others, when you think nobody is paying attention. And I agree with that statement.
What does it speak for who you are, when you act like the candidates, with the cameras on you?
#proudlywithher
