the "august assault" begins: 2009 steve nfl coaching rankings

Welcome to August! Too bad it feels like early October here in KC. Today we didn’t even hit 80. Tomorrow, only 85, although with the sun out, it'll feel damned good in the pool. But 85? In August? Dear God, what is January going to be like, -15 and snow every day? Oy.

Anyways, let me explain what I envision over the next month on this site for a moment, and then I’ll get to the subject of the post.

I am a football fan. By definition, a fan is a fanatic. Its just a shorter way of saying that word, fanatic. Last year, I was not able to get as into preseason and the buildup to the season as I would have liked, because I’m also a political fan, and you had both conventions as the lead-in to the season. And I cared more about the future of the nation, than who was the Chiefs 5th wide receiver.

Toss in the fact that the odds of me being employed when the playoffs begin are shaky at best, coupled with my single status, and well … I’m all in.

My goal in August is to get every regular reader of this site as ready for the upcoming college and pro football seasons as I am. Which means I’m about to blitz you with regular posts, with regular site updates. I’d rather invest my time into prepping for this season, than training some replacement on how to do my job.

My next post after this one will officially be the 200th on this site. However, by my count, 10 of the 198 to date were recycled from the old site, 2 were recycled emails, and while I couldn’t find it on a quick scan, I know the greatest Steve email / post of all time, “The Week 4 Plea” (sk update: found it! seriously, read this thing and tell me you aren't ready to head to Arrowhead right effing now ...), is on here somewhere. And if its not by some incredible brain fart, it will be shortly. So I figure this is post 186. 14 more to go on the march to 200 original posts.

And having said that …

What I would LOVE for original post 200 to be, is a roundtable podcast discussion of the upcoming football season(s). College and pro. I figure to pull this off, we’d need to get together at someone’s house and record it, to ensure everyone’s voice is heard. I’d obviously want to “moderate”, but I’d want loyal readers Gregg, Brent, and Dusty at a bare minimum to join in. Especially considering 3 of us have Chiefs season tickets (and the 4th figures to show up for a few, at least), and 3 of us have KU season tickets (and the 4th is a huge, hu-yuge Tigers fan, so we can get the alternate perspective on the rivalry).

If y'all are up for this, I want to make it happen, and am willing to “host”. (If for no other reason than I am "smoker friendly"). If any other regular readers want in, like Heath for example, let me know. I’d love to get a female football fan’s perspective as well (cough, Kellie, cough … especially since you also represent the “alternative perspective” on one of the Chiefs two biggest rivals (and hate our other rival as much as we do), and can give us some thoughts from KU and MU’s biggest threat to win the North, the Huskers). Hell, if I could figure out how this Skype thingy on my computer works, we could get Will or Vineet dialed in for some NFC East thoughts.

Point is, we can do this, and do it epic. I just need the help from my readers. Even if said reader just prints this off as a backup in case the toilet paper dispenser is empty and nobody is there to (elaine benes voice) “spare a square”. Let’s make this happen.

I am looking forward to this season like none since … uuh … its been a long time. And I don’t just mean for the Chiefs. KU Football has a legitimate shot at reaching its second BCS bowl in three years. Every KU game should be broadcast on TV this year for the first time ever. This program has reached heights I never imagined possible. MU is reloading, not rebuilding. Let that sink in Tigers fan. Brad Smith, to Chase Daniel, to this Gabbert kid. You’re not rebuilding. You’re reloading. You’re a legitimate top 25 program entering every season now. As are we in Lawrence. If you'd said that five years ago about either school? Well, you'd be in Two Rivers or Charter within the hour. (matchbox 20 voice) let's see how far we've come!

And I also truly believe, like two years ago, KU / MU at Arrowhead will be for the Big XII North, and a shot at the Big XII Championship for a North team for the first time since 2003. Because the only way its not, is if Bo Pelini has resurrected Husker Nation, and sweeps KU and MU on the road, which will more than earn the Big Red the right to play for the Big XII.

All that ... and sorry, but goddammit, I need an escape from life. This has been a brutal last eight, nine months. Absolutely brutal, in every sense of the word. I need something GOOD to happen. So I turn to the gridiron for hope. (Its that or the bottle, because religion ain't an option to me. Until the Church apologizes for their role in shielding child molestors, you won't see me stepping foot in there voluntarily). Anyways, I need (schindler's list voice) an absolute good. I'm hopeful one of my teams is going to deliver it.

So to recap the intro: huge month of August in store. Lots of posts is the plan. Lots of predictions, analysis, “Inside the Numbers” Steve-style breakdowns. And hopefully one mother-of-all-podcasts to set the tempo for what could be the best season of the decade across the board for a whole lot of us.

(And another "fake mailbag" or three that at least four of you have already given me suggested "emails" to post into ...)

And to lead off the "August Assault": the 2009 Steve NFL Coaches Rankings!

Loyal readers and friends know that this is the 10th edition of these. Yikes. Sadly, only one previous version remains in print version that I have access to, and you can read last year’s thoughts here. Suffice to say, I overrated some guys, and underrated others. It happens.

What I found most amazing though, is that 5 of my 10 “worst” coaches are now unemployed … but so are 5 of my 10 “best”. And arguably that should have been 6 of 11 on each, as Wade Phillips somehow is back for year three in Dallas, and Eric Mangini found a lifeboat in Cleveland after the Jets (correctly) rectified their mistake in hiring him in the first place.

With that being said, let’s get to it.

As always, 3 advance notices:

1. 32 is Rich Kotite bad. 1 is Chuck Noll good.
2. The rankings are in order of who I'd want coaching the Chiefs. For example, Coach Haley ranks 23rd. Which means there are 22 coaches I would take over Coach Haley right now. And 9 I’d take Coach Haley over. Because …
3. First year head coaches will struggle in these rankings. Regardless of my thoughts on their coaching ability, they have yet to prove that my confidence in them translates into on-field success. For example, last year Mike Smith was ranked 22. As I said then, “I like this hire. I expect a significant rise in the rankings next year for this guy”. And he’ll get it. (Emphasis on significant). Like I said, until you prove yourself on the sidelines, I won’t rank you above the most mediocre proven commodity available.

Here we go!

32. Brad Childress, Vikings. Last Year: 31. The lowest remaining coach from last year. I don’t care that he won the NFC North. He’s a horrid, horrid head coach. If Wikipedia ever wants to define “clueless buffoon”, a pic of Brad Childress will be included in the entry. This guy is will be replacing Rich Kotite in my "as always note number one" by this time next year.

31. Eric Mangini, Browns. Last Year: 24 (as Jets coach). I wouldn’t trust this dog to walk the dog. The sole highlight of this guy’s career was being an extra in a "Sopranos" episode during the final season. Cleveland fan, as a Jets fan, trust me: this is a HORRIBLE hire. HORRIBLE. You’ll need another coach by yesterday, but won't get one until 2011.

30. Jim Zorn, Redskins. Last Year: 27. I expected nothing from Zorn last year, and he delivered on those expectations. He won’t see 2010 as a head coach. And probably shouldn’t have seen 2009, for what its worth.

29. Raheem Morris, Bucs. Last Year: NR. Our first rookie in the rankings. This is going to be an utter catastrophe. So he's not the "Worst of What's Around". Nice. Tampa, a few words of advise: you don’t fire a Super Bowl winning GM, and Super Bowl winning head coach, who’ve won 3 of the last 6 division titles, without even better replacements in the wings. You don’t replace success with speculation. Speculation makes you look stupid. Which is what Tampa is going to be for the next 3 years under this coach.

28. Mike Singletary, 49ers. Last Year: NR. Not a fan. Anyone who drops their pants in the locker room in front of his players to point out he’s got what they don’t, well … either he needs a membership to a certain “friendly” adult website where he can broadcast his “thoughts” on his endowment to the horny masses via a webcam, or he’s not all there. Since Mike is a devout Christian, I’m going with not all there. Although I hold out hope for the former. If its good enough for Christy Brinkley's ex ... seriously, bad hire, 49ers. Bad hire.

27. josh mcdaniels, broncos. Last Year: NR. Without question, the WORST hire of the offseason so far. I seriously considered putting him like number 9 and verbally fellating him, in the hopes that the “classless jackass” patrick j. bowlen, a man who once credibly claimed his team could “not compete in the modern NFL” without a new stadium, despite being the two time defending Super Bowl champion at the time, in the hopes that idiot would think “hey, I did good here”. You didn’t pat. Thank God. See Number 29 for why this is a wretched hire. (Although I think denver fleeced Chicago on the cutler deal. denver won’t be as bad as everyone thinks this year).

26. Norv Turner, Chargers. Last Year: 19. Norv’s guys were a failure to recover an onside kick away from being 4-9. And yet everyone thinks this team is going to “run away” with the AFC West? How? They’re a year older, they’re not any better, and they’re still piss poorly coached. 9-7 wins this division. I’m not sure Norv can get there.

25. Jim Caldwell, Colts. Last Year: NR. Another horrid first year hire. I get that he was the coach in waiting. But based on what? A .350 winning percentage at Wake? And spare me the “you can’t win at Wake” crap. Ask Jim Grobe if that’s possible. Caldwell was a mistake. This should have been Tom Moore’s job. Or better yet, mike shanahan’s. Tell me a shanahan coached Colts team isn’t your AFC favorite. Nice job Indy. I’m telling you, every playoff contender in the AFC took three steps back, which is good for the Chiefs. Well, save for two teams, they at least stood pat, or got better. Not coincidentally, you won’t be seeing the Patriots or Steelers coaches anytime soon …

24. Tom Cable, raiders. Last Year: NR. I actually think Cable’s a decent coach. He’s just in an unwinnable situation until the Godmother, the Master of the White Pants Suit himself, al davis, keels over dead. No hope here until al is 6 feet under and turns the reigns over to someone else.

23. Todd Haley, Chiefs. Last Year: NR. I liked the hire. I’m fine with it. But three caveats: (1) new coaches always get undervalued by me. (2) there’s at least three “new” coach hires I liked better, two of which we could have had, and (3) if every AFC West coach is in the bottom 10, tell me we can’t steal this division at 9-7 or 8-8 …

22. Jim Schwantz, Lions. Last Year: NR. Great hire. Tremendous hire. Love this hire. Has a tough, tough task in front of him, but if the Lions are patient, and understand it will take at least 4 years to see results, Schwantz will deliver. Helluva coach. Great hire.

21. Lovie Smith, Bears. Last Year: 18. Not a fan. Had a couple good years in 2005-2006 with his predecessor’s leftovers, and hasn’t done jack sh*t since. Probably another 7-9, 8-8 disappointing season ahead.

20. Marvin Lewis, Bengals. Last Year: 28. His rise is not so much a reflection of his coaching abilities, but rather a reflection of how piss poor last year’s bottom 10 were. When they’re all gone, and there’s nothing but newbies around, you gotta give the grizzled veteran a little credit.

19. Steve Spagnola, Rams. Last Year: NR. Another tremendous hire. Rams will beat at least two teams they have no business beating this year because of this guy. And win a ton of NFC West titles in the next five to six years for the same reason.

18. Rex Ryan, Jets. Last Year: NR. Yes, I am a Jets fan. So I am biased. However, as much as I love this pick, its based more on what I think he will do long term than short term. I don’t expect anything out of Gang Green this year. I think they will finish last in the AFC East. But it’ll be a short downturn. Purge the crap left from Mangini, put Rex’s guys in place, and look out come 2011. Another coach who, like Spagnola, is too good to not spring an upset or two this year, and win games he has no business winning. Love this hire.

17. Jack Del Rio, Jaguars. Last Year: 8. Huge fall for “Of the River”, probably most famous for either (a) physically assaulting Chiefs legend Otis Taylor during the 1987 strike because he thought Otis was a scab, or (b) leading the lynch mob that overturned a scab’s pickup during same strike (a scene famously re-created in “The Replacements”). Jack might need that pickup, and a U-Haul, by the time the bye week rolls around. Should be his last disappointing season in J’Ville.

16. Tom Coughlin, Giants. Last Year: 16. A perfectly middle of the road coach who will consistently get you to 10, 11 wins, and consistently lose in the playoffs. The only difference between Coughlin and Marty Schottenheimer, is David Tyree made the catch, and Earnest Byner fumbled the football.

15. John Fox, Panthers. Last Year: 17. Another Coughlin / Schottenheimer type coach. Great regular season guys, great at turning a franchise around, but probably won’t get you to the top of the mountain more than once, and even then, only get there if every break known to man goes their way.

14. Dick Jauron, Bills. Last Year: 15. Look it, I love Jauron. I absolutely LOVE Dick Jauron. But pretty much everyone in this range is the same. I hope he does enough to save his job though.

13. Ken Whizenhunt, Cardinals. Last Year: 21. I feel somewhat bad for the guy. A year after the Cards accomplish something noone ever thought would happen, both of his coordinators are in Kansas City, his starting RB is still unsigned, and his QB flirts with going to the 49ers. Cards will take a step back this year, but they’re headed in the right direction.

12. Wade “Son of Bum” Phillips, Cowboys. Last Year: 11. The image of Wade I will never forget, is the reaction to the ending of the greatest Monday Night game ever played. Right after Montana hit Willie Davis to give the Chiefs the win in Real Mile High. The look was about the same as I had when elway engineered the incredible “10 men on the field, but still a legal formation” run for a TD 1:24 earlier. “I hate losing this, but goddammit, if we’re gonna lose, what a helluva way to go!” Both anger and excitement. I’ve felt that a few times as a Chiefs fan. (See Y2K Bowl). So I like the guy. He won’t be back in 2010, but hopefully he goes out on his own terms.

11. Gary Kubiak, Texans. Last Year: 13. I keep waiting for this guy to deliver his breakout season. I think this is going to be it.

10. Mike McCarthy, Packers. Last Year: 12. Anyone above McCarthy, I’d be ecstatic if they were on the Chiefs sideline. I mean, ecstatic. McCarthy is perfectly good. But the remaining 9, holy crap. Tremendous talent left. Including, and I know others will disagree, but including number 9:

9. Jim Mora Jr, Seahawks. Last Year: NR. The man went to a NFC Title game his first year. He had two more straight .500 plus seasons in Atlanta before getting fired. And then the floor fell out in the ATL, as his overrated QB went to prison, the Falcons are on their third coach since, and now finally, Mora gets his shot at redemption. And he’ll deliver with a NFC West championship and a wildcard round win. Good days ahead for the Seahawks under his capable leadership.

8. Tony Sparano, Dolphins. Last Year: 25. I’d rank him even higher if I could, but (a) the remaining seven are rock solid, and (b) I just don’t think Miami can duplicate last year. 2010 though, with Chad Henne under center and a much easier schedule, look out. A coach, and a team, on the rise.

7. Sean Payton, Saints. Last Year: 14. Has any coach ever taken over a more hopeless situation? Payton arrived with the Saints unable to use their practice facility, or their stadium, due to Hurricane Katrina. And promptly went 10-6 and reached the NFC Title Game. Two disappointing .500 seasons later, he’s still a winner in my book. I fully expect the Saints to be back in the postseason. They have a battle for the division title though, with:

6. Mike Smith, Falcons. Last Year: 22. Tremendous first year, a wild card berth and almost win in Arizona. I expect another rock solid season from Smith’s team.

5. John Harbaugh, Ravens. Last Year: 23. I know a lot of people expect the Ravens to take a step back. I don’t. I fully expect them to battle every step of the way with the Steelers for the NFC North, and to at worst be a wildcard team.

4. “Fat” Andy Reid, Eagles. Last Year: 3. Another year, another playoff berth, another NFC Title Game loss for the Eagles. That’s 5 NFC Title game appearances in 8 years. That’s unbelievable. If Reid isn’t the most underrated coach of our lifetime, I don’t know who is. Yes, he’s an awful in-game strategist, and has no clue how to challenge or use timeouts. But all the guy does is win. He can coach my team any day.

3. Mike Tomlin, Steelers. Last Year: 10. I really wanted to put him number one, except number one has more than earned the spot. And I really wanted to put him number two, except Tomlin’s only been on the job two years. And before you say “well, he won two division titles and a Super Bowl in his first two years!”, so did Barry Switzer. Let’s see what Tomlin does with Tomlin’s talent, not Cowher’s. But so far, color me impressed.

2. Jeff Fisher, Titans. Last Year: 5. The only reason he’s not number one, is the lack of a title.

1. Bill Belichick. Last Year: 2. The coach of the team of the decade. And went 10-5 without the best QB in the league. That’s good enough to retake number one in my rankings.

early look at 2009 nfl schedule

Now that the schedule is out ... and I have five minutes to digest it ... by initial thoughts on the upcoming 2009 NFL season.

Week One:
* Chiefs: at Ravens (noon, CBS). Third straight year the Chiefs have opened on the road. The Chiefs are 3-0 all time in Baltimore, winning there in 1998, 2003, and 2004 (when we were 0-3 and on the ropes on a Monday night). Interesting opener for the red and gold.
* Jets: at Texans (noon, CBS). I'll be honest up front: I expect nothing from Gang Green this year. The QB situation is a mess, I hated the Rex Ryan hiring, and as long as incompetent GM Mike Tannenbaum calls the shots, we're screwed. Interesting game for Houston though, they've closed really strong the last two years but its their starts that have killed them. Very winnable opener for the Texans.
* Best game: Titans at Steelers (Thurs night, NBC). The Ravens upset in Nashville prevented this from being the AFC Title Game last year. Both teams figure to be in the title hunt again this season, although I'm not as sold on Tennessee as some folks are. Still, tremendous opener to the season.
* Worst game: Rams at Seahawks (3pm, FOX). I guess if they're contractually required to play twice a year, you might as well get it over with as soon as possible.
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: Eagles at Panthers (noon, FOX). Tremendous opener that NBC should have grabbed, instead of (yawn) Bears at (snore) Packers.

Week Two:
* Chiefs: vs raiders (noon, CBS). Second straight year our home opener is against the silver and black. The raiders have won two straight at Arrowhead, and are two fluke plays (LJ's touchdown as time expired, Page's end zone INT as time expired) from having won four straight. Chiefs need this one, you have to win these games at home if you hope to establish momentum.
* Jets: vs Patriots (noon, CBS). This one will not be even remotely competitive. The Jets are opening 0-5 barring a miracle. Or so says Steve.
* Best game: Ravens at Chargers (3pm, CBS). Huge playoff ramifications riding on this one. Especially if these two rematch in January, as is very much possible.
* Worst game: Bucs at Bills (noon, FOX). Talk about utterly unwatchable. Only TO makes me possibly want to tune in for two minutes.
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: Giants at Cowboys (Sunday night, NBC). Yeah, the debut of the stadium should be sweet, but anytime NFC East rivals get together, good games happen. Scratch that -- great games happen.

Week Three:
* Chiefs: at Eagles (noon, CBS). We should be solid double digit underdogs in this one, and deservedly so.
* Jets: vs Titans (noon, CBS). We should be approaching double digit underdog status in this one, and deservedly so.
* Best game: Colts at Cardinals (Sunday night, NBC). First team to 50 wins?
* Worst game: Packers at Rams (noon, FOX). Totally unwatchable. Sadly, since CBS has the double header, that means we're stuck with this snoozer on FOX4.
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: 49ers at Vikings (noon, FOX). One of those under-the-radar meetings early in the season that turns out to have huge wildcard ramifications come early January?

Week Four:
* Chiefs: vs Giants (noon, FOX). Of course we're playing at home on NASCAR Sunday. Why even bother to ask the question. (steve sighing in disgust ...) This is a biggie for the Chiefs though. If you figure we're 1-2 at this point, this could be the upset that springs us into contention in a horrible division. Or its the nail in the coffin that starts a lengthy losing streak. Either way, this is one of the 4 "benchmark games" of the 2009 season.
* Jets: at Saints (noon, CBS). This one should get ugly early, and stay that way.
* Best game: Cowboys at donkeys (3pm, FOX). Dallas' schedule after week one: vs Giants / vs Panthers / at donkeys / at Chiefs. They go 3-1 in that stretch, you can pencil them in for 12 wins and a home game in January.
* Worst game: Bengals at Browns (noon, CBS). Smells like a Criqui / Tasker assignment to me.
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: Titans at Jaguars (noon, CBS). The Jags can't be this bad again, can they? There's too much talent there for another sub .500 finish. Or so says Steve.

Week Five:
* Chiefs: vs Cowboys (noon, FOX). The over / under on when the bus arrives to tailgate is 5:46am.
* Jets: at Miami (Monday night, ESPN). Rex Ryan's debut drops to 0 and 5.
* Best game: Colts at Titans (Sunday night, NBC). This was the game that put the Titans on the map last year, a home pole-axing in prime time of the Colts. Its also the last time Indy lost in the regular season, as they won 9 straight before losing the wildcard game in San Diego.
* Worst game: Browns at Bills (noon, CBS). This is one of those games that you'd just simulate if the NFL was a video game.
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: Chiefs / Cowboys. Its the one game on the schedule this week that has me excited.

Week Six:
* Chiefs: at Redskins (noon, FOX). A winnable roadie if all the cards fall right. In all likelihood, a 27-21 loss.
* Jets: vs Bills (3pm, CBS). Dare we dream? A victory? Finally?
* Best game: Titans at Patriots (3pm, CBS). By this point we should know whether Kerry Collins can do it again, and if Tom Brady is healthy again.
* Worst game: Lions at Packers (noon, FOX). The losing streak might be at 24 after this one.
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: Giants at Saints (noon, FOX). Should be a thoroughly enjoyable NFC showdown with huge wildcard ramifications.

Week Seven:
* Chiefs: vs Chargers (noon, CBS). A winnable game entering the bye, with a winnable roadie afterwards. There is no reason the Chiefs can't be 4-3 after this game. And no, I have not been drinking.
* Jets: at raiders (3pm, CBS). Our personal house of horrors. Lose this one Rex, and you might not survive the bye week.
* Best game: Cardinals at Giants (Sunday night, NBC). Nearly the NFC Title Game last year. Both teams figure to be in the hunt this year as well.
* Worst game: Packers at Browns (noon, FOX). I'd rather have a stick shoved up my ass than be subjected to three plus hours of this game.
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: Eagles at Redskins (Monday night, ESPN). I love NFC East showdowns. Love 'em.

Week Eight:
* Chiefs: bye.
* Jets: vs Dolphins (noon, CBS). The Meadowlands might be half empty for this one.
* Best game: Giants at Eagles (3pm, FOX). Too bad there can't be NFC East showdowns every week.
* Worst game: Rams at Lions (noon, FOX). Not even friends and family will show up for this one.
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: Texans at Bills (noon, CBS). Huge playoff implications in this one. (Yes, I am that sold on the Texans ... again ...)

Week Nine:
* Chiefs: at Jaguars (noon, CBS). Very winnable roadie. You need games like this if you expect to play meaningful games in December.
* Jets: bye. If we're 1-7, goodbye Tannenbaum and Ryan. Maybe I should root for 1-7 or worse ...
* Best game: Chargers at Giants (3pm, CBS). Great inter-conference battle.
* Worst game: Lions at Seahawks (3pm, FOX). Loser has the inside track for the number one pick?
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: Panthers at Saints (3pm, FOX). Huge NFC South battle between the two teams most likely to win it.

Week Ten:
* Chiefs: at raiders (3pm, CBS). Chiefs have won 6 straight by the Bay, all by 7 points or less. Hope that trend continues.
* Jets: vs Jaguars (noon, CBS). The dawn of the Brian Schottenheimer era?
* Best game: Patriots at Colts (Sunday night, NBC). Just to showcase how far and fast the Colts will fall without Dungy.
* Worst game: Seahawks at Cardinals (3pm, FOX). The NFL record for margin of victory is 73. I'm just saying.
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: Cowboys at Packers (3pm, FOX). Anytime these two get together its appointment television in the Casa de Steve.

Week Eleven:
* Chiefs: vs Steelers (noon, CBS). I've always said my three favorite home games are against the donkeys, raiders, and Steelers. These are usually an instant classic.
* Jets: at Patriots (3pm, CBS). Gonna be tough to top last year's OT Jets win in Foxboro.
* Best game: Eagles at Bears (Sunday night, NBC). Huge playoff implications on this one.
* Worst game: Browns at Lions (noon, CBS). First team to 3 wins?
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: Titans at Texans (Monday night, ESPN). I think the winner of this one takes control of the division.

Week Twelve:
* Chiefs: at Chargers (3pm, CBS). Road trip to San Diego on Thanksgiving weekend?
* Jets: vs Panthers (noon, FOX). Another in a long line of ugly losses.
* Best game: Steelers at Ravens (Sunday night, NBC). After two tremendous showdowns last year, how does this one top it?
* Worst game: Seahawks at Rams (noon, FOX). More players on the field than fans in the stands?
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: Bears at Vikings (noon, FOX). Huge NFC North showdown.

Week Thirteen:
* Chiefs: vs broncos (noon, CBS). The game I live for.
* Jets: at Bills (Thurs night, NFLN). Bills should be in position to take a wildcard berth if they win these type of games.
* Best game: Saints at Redskins (noon, FOX). Might get flexed to Sunday night. Huge playoff implications in this one.
* Worst game: Lions at Bengals (noon, FOX). Hide the women and children.
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: take a friggin guess. Chiefs! donkeys! High noon! Arrowhead! Bring it denver, effing bring it!

Week Fourteen:
* Chiefs: vs Bills (noon, CBS). I'm all for three game homestands ... but in December? Brrrrrrr.
* Jets: at Bucs (noon, CBS). Should be a battle of 2-3 win squads in the warm Florida sunshine.
* Best game: Cardinals at 49ers (Monday night, ESPN). Seriously. This one might decide the NFC West.
* Worst game: Lions at Ravens (noon, FOX). Lions might not cross midfield.
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: Eagles at Giants (Sunday night, NBC). Great way to cap off the weekend.

Week Fifteen:
* Chiefs: vs Browns (noon, CBS). Hopefully this is meaningful for us.
* Jets: vs Falcons (noon, FOX). Ugly. Ugly, ugly, ugly.
* Best game: Cowboys at Saints (Sat night, NFLN). Great late season showdown that should have huge playoff ramifications.
* Worst game: Bucs at Seahawks (3pm, FOX). Will FOX even bother to send someone to cover this one?
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: Patriots at Bills (noon, CBS). Should get flexed to Sunday night if the AFC East is on the line.

Week Sixteen:
* Chiefs: at Bengals (noon, CBS). The fourth of five very winnable games to end the season.
* Jets: at Colts (3pm, CBS). Neither team will enter this game with a winning record. Or exit it with one either.
* Best game: Panthers at Giants (noon, FOX). Last year's prime time epic determined home field advantage. This one might as well.
* Worst game: raiders at Browns (noon, CBS). Neither team will be worth a damn this year.
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: Cowboys at Redskins (Sunday night, NBC). Other than Chiefs / donkeys, this is my favorite rivalry in football.

Week Seventeen:
* Chiefs: at broncos (3pm, CBS). I really wish this one was at home, I'd have loved a shot at denver on my birthday.
* Jets: vs Bengals (noon, CBS). Putrid game to end a wretched season.
* Best game: Saints at Panthers (noon, FOX). Leading candidate to flex into prime time at this point.
* Worst game: Bengals at Jets. Its that awful.
* Game I'm Most Looking Forward To: Patriots at Texans (noon, CBS). This one could be a win-and-in scenario for Houston.