Monday, December 6, 2010

chiefs! donkeys! where you definitely didn't feel the love ...

"All I want is to see you smile.
If it takes just a little while.
I know you don't believe that it's true.
But I never meant any harm to you.

So don't stop thinking about tomorrow!
Don't stop! It'll soon be here!
It'll be here! Better than before!
Cause yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone ..."

"Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac. Yesterday's gone guys. It was ugly, it was brutal, and yes, it took every ounce of self-restraint I didn't know I had to keep from b*tch slapping a few of their asshole fans yesterday. But a win is a win. Yesterday's gone. And now, the focus turns to tomorrow, to the biggest game this team has played since the playoff debacle in Indy four years ago. I hope you're digging this season as much as I am. But if you're not, that's ok. I've still got four weeks to get you on the bandwagon ...

---------------------------------

(old school game show host voice) The password is "relieved".

Relief. It's the feeling I had exiting that stadium yesterday, and I'm guessing most Chiefs fans, whether watching at the Stadium, watching at home, or at their favorite watering hole, felt the same way. For sixty minutes, the Chiefs and broncos staged the type of game that would put casual fans in a coma. There was no imagination, little excitement, but a ton of hard hits, awesome defensive plays, and when the dust settled, when Dusty C got off that final perfect punt that all but sealed the win, and then kyle orton tossed up the desperation heave that fell incomplete, relief. It's all you could feel.

You never apologize for a win. Never. No matter how ugly, or how undeserved, you never apologize for outscoring the opposition. The denver broncos probably should have won yesterday. If their defensive lineman hadn't dropped a gimme Pick Six midway through the fourth quarter, they probably would have won. But, feel relieved Chiefs fans.

Oh, and feel confident too. Yesterday's 10-6 slugfest win coupled with a shocking oakland victory means we, us, the Red and Gold, are the only team in the League that leads its division by more than a game.

We, us, the Red and Gold, have the easiest, clearest, safest route to meaningful football in mid January. That's ... a relief. And pretty damned cool.

Here's your recap on the day that was, starting with the night before, when ...

* A tradition unlike any other occurred. Yup, the "family Thanksgiving"! There's a lot of "traditions" that have fallen the last few years, as lives change and people evolve, but thankfully, the "Dusty cooks a turkey and Steve hogs all the dark meat" tradition lives on. Good for us.

* Arrived at the gates about 7am yesterday. Pulled in right next to Phil and his crew. Some brave souls ventured outside to do some apple pie shots with our tailgating neighbors. Me? Hell no. It was heated on the bus. There's no way my happy ass was stepping foot outside until I had to.

* Carl's winning streak against the parking attendants continues.

* Got everything set up and situated by 9am. The beer pong table was operational ... only it was too cold to even think about playing beer pong with beer. It finally hit me about 10:15 -- we should have done it with the spiked hot chocolate. By the time I thought of it though, it was too late to get a good tournament going. But file that under the "things to try at the next home game" file.

* As usual, our neighbors across the street did not disappoint. First, they were either too drunk, high, stupid, or all three, to drive their bus over the flag pole holder. It's a simple task guys -- you put the plank on the ground, and roll a tire over it. They not only couldn't do it, they finally gave up, and for some reason, decided to drive the bus off the grass, around in a circle, and try again. They were finally successful.

Then, they decided to decorate their tree next to them, since it is the holiday season. This tree ... Tyler put it best: "It really is Charlie Brown's tree!" There was more tinsel and ornaments on the ground, than in the tree.

Finally, they did manage to get the flags up, only ... "one of these things is not like the others". They hung the Chiefs flag backwards and upside down. You gotta love the drunk, stoned, mentally challenged neighbors.

* the bravest guy in Lot G yesterday? Without question, the 20-something-ish guy in a donkeys jersey and shorts, running down the street waving a huge donkeys flag. That raised the donkey hatred in me that just kept getting worse as the day went along. But at the same time, you had to laugh. And admire the guy's balls. There's no way I'd do that in denver with Chiefs stuff. Actually, I might. But I know there's no way I'd do it in oakland.

Thankfully, the dude was "dealt with" by a couple Chiefs fans about ten tailgates away. Not in our house asshole. Not in our house.

* I made a point to boo and scream at every denver fan I saw after that. I cannot even begin to type how much I hate those people. But, at least denver fan knows his or her football, generally speaking. That, and they won't steal stuff once you look the other way, like raiders fans.

* Gregg and Jenni arrived about 9:30. Apparently Jenni was going to tailgate with some friends. Which is good. But somehow, coming in northbound 435, exiting onto Stadium Drive, (I'm assuming) entering Gate 6 ... they wound up in Lot A. As Gregg asked: "how the hell does that happen?" As someone else noted, "we couldn't drive from here to Lot A if we tried to". So she was stuck with a healthy hike to join her fellow tailgaters. Sucks to be her.

* Dusty and Kellie arrived shortly after. Yes, I booed the broncos fan. Even if she is the only denver fan alive that doesn't make me want to punch them in the face the second I see them.

* One of my favorite lines of the day: we're standing around discussing Willie Nelson's latest arrest for pot possession, and Gregg goes "here should be his entire defense: I'm Willie freaking Nelson!" Agreed. Seriously, how can anyone arrest Willie or Snoop Dogg for weed possession? It's an outrage.

* A late Castro sighting! He didn't show up until we were tearing down to head in. But he didn't disappoint as usual. He was drinking a "pansy daiquiri" in his words, and his grillz were gone! His silver grillz were nowhere to be found! After some laughs, he deadpans "well, I need to replace them, but they're the expensive ones. It's gonna cost me $180 to replace them!" and that brought the house down. $180. You gotta love it.

Seriously, I get that a lot of fans are now all about watching the game at home, because of the improvement of technology and the cost of watching for free versus paying to watch, I get all that. But I can never be one of you. There's something to be said for experiencing the NFL, versus watching the NFL experience. I could never give up going to games. It's ingrained in me. I hope this incredible, franchise-correcting season draws in a few more people who wind up like me, and ensure Arrowhead going forward remains one of the last legitimate home field advantages that remain in the League. Having said that,

* Congratulations to the fanbase yesterday. The lower bowl was packed. The upper deck was nearly full. Even the club level had more filled seats than yellow chair backs showing at times yesterday. On a brutally cold day. Good job guys.

* Funniest fan of the game: this chick that sat two rows in front of me. It was her first Chiefs game. But she was enthusiastic, and totally into it. She even admitted "yeah, I'm a bandwagon fan. I'm only here because these guys are good again!" But she earns funniest fan status because the first few times that "first down!" chant occurred ... she yelled "second down!" You gotta love it.

* Every 132 regular was there yesterday. Always a good thing.

* The Springfield chick was overly enthusiastic when she and her husband arrived about ten minutes before kickoff. The reason? As she was proud to show us, she'd managed to successfully smuggle in a flask. I had to laugh. Some of us have been smuggling adult beverages into that stadium for about 15 years and counting.

* The "Other Steve" was there! That made watching this game thoroughly enjoyable, when I'm able to rationally discuss the game with a knowledgable fellow fan. I like that guy.

* KC Wolf's sketch was awesome. Very short and simple, but I thoroughly loved it. A couple donkeys fans wander out of the tunnel. One dressed in nothing but an orange barrel and waving a broncos flag, the other one riding a kid's horse. Wolf drives down the tunnel in his ATV, takes it to midfield ... and then drop kicks "barrel man", and beats up the guy on the fake horse. After a few body slams, Wolf then gets back on his ATV ... and drives right over the broncos flag, a final act of humiliation for the opposition. I completely enjoyed the KC Wolf sketch yesterday.

(Even if it was its usual uncreative, "we've seen this 55 times before" self).

* What I completely did NOT enjoy yesterday, was the National Anthem. The "performance" was by the Eli Young Band. Now, there are very few things in life that any random friend or acquaintance of mine will agree with me on, because we all have varying opinions when it comes to sports or politics or whatever. But I can say with absolute certainty, and say it knowing that anyone who saw this "performance" yesterday will agree with me -- that was the WORST rendition of the National Anthem I have EVER seen. They screwed it up not once, but twice!

The poor guy doing the fireworks had no idea when to shoot them off, because the lead singer kept skipping around to different parts of the Anthem. So eventually he had to be like "screw it, just shoot 'em", because the "rockets red glare" and the "bombs bursting in air" launched at the same time.

And the flyover was way off target as a result. Yet another reason why it's the single biggest waste of taxpayer money known to mankind.

If you haven't seen it, the link is up at Arrowhead Pride. And yes, it was every bit as god-awful wretched as the comments section would lead you to believe it was.

* What sucked was that we couldn't boo the dude and his effort. I mean, you can't boo the National Anthem.

* In a moment of irony, Mallory posted on her Facebook yesterday morning about how good Eli Young was in concert the night before. As I texted Gregg after his abortion of a performance yesterday: "of course Mallory loves these guys".

* I haven't seen it, because I had a brain fart and forgot to record the Arizona game, but apparently at about the 11 minute mark of the 1st quarter of that game a couple weeks ago, yours truly is shown discussing strategory with my fellow section 132 fans. So that's kind of cool.

* Although I'm sure at least 50,000 some odd fellow Chiefs fans watching were probably thinking "who's this idiot with the Chiefs sweatshirt and Jets hat on? Can't he pick a team?"

* donkeys win the coin toss, choose to receive. That's what I'd do too. After initially moving the ball fairly well, the drive stalled at the Chiefs 40, and in came the bad colquitt to punt. Both teams then traded punts in their next drives. Of note in the donkeys first couple possessions is a good thing -- both drives wrecked out on 3rd down sacks by the Chiefs.

* The Chiefs second drive started with an 8 yard completion to D Bowe. Only, josh mcdaniels challenged the call, and to his credit, he did win the challenge. But that "victory" ignores an obvious question: why were the donkeys challenging a virtually meaningless first down gain? In the first quarter? That's a play you challenge in the 4th quarter, maybe. You definitely don't whiz away one of your challenges on a play like that not even five minutes into the game.

As I said many times yesterday, "I am really going to miss josh mcdaniels".

* I did not think Pope's touchdown catch was actually a touchdown. I thought he landed on the back line. But mcdaniels' didn't challenge the call. The most encouraging sign on that drive for the Chiefs? Cassel was 3-3 with 3 first down conversions on the three 3rd down passes he attempted.

* denver's next possession ended in a punt. This would be a (happy! awesome! spectacular!) recurring theme for the donkeys on Sunday.

* after a Chiefs punt, the broncos get a nice drive going, and reach the Chiefs 8 yard line before stalling out on a horrendous orton pass attempt for moreno. The field goal is good, and the score is now 7-3 Chiefs with 80 seconds to go in the half.

* For at least the third time I can recall in the past six weeks (and it might be higher), Matt Cassel took over possession of the ball with less than 90 seconds left in the half or overtime, and led the Chiefs to points. In this case, it was a 48 yarder as time expired. I have ripped Cassel as much as anyone, but give credit where it's due. When the Chiefs have needed him to play at his peak, he's delivered.

* Halftime was the Punt, Pass, and Kick finals. I miss the good old days, when the kids would wear their favorite team's jersey, because there isn't much that is more fun in that stadium than booing little kids because they're wearing donkey or raider jerseys. And yes, you read that last sentence correctly. I love booing little donkey and raiders fans.

* The Chiefs first drive of the second half, was their best drive of the half. They had 1st and goal at the 5. And wound up giving the ball back to denver at the 18 after a horrendous Cassel sack on 4th and goal. There's two things from those goal-to-go plays that every Chiefs fan has an opinion on -- the Richardson sideline meltdown, and the decision to not try the 19 yard field goal and get points. My opinions are:

a. I absolutely would have gone for it in that spot. I even noted to the "Other Steve" on 3rd down that "if we run it here, Haley's decided to go for it on 4th down no matter what. If it's a pass, we're kicking". Haley stuck to what he wanted to do. I'm not going to fault a coach in the second half for trying to get two yards and effectively end the game.

b. Yes, Richardson's sideline tirade was classless, and pushing our special teams coach when he tried to calm him down deserves a healthy fine and a stern lecture.

Having said that ... how awesome was it to see a Chiefs player actually give a damn? The last three, four years, if a Chiefs player took a bad penalty in that spot (like Richardson did with a bad false start that cost us a touchdown), what happens when they get pulled? They trot to the sideline, grab a seat, and ... scene.

No emotion. No anger. No visible frustration over the mistake they made.

I'm not condoning shoving a coach. I certainly wish he hadn't screwed up. But I loved the emotional show. And it just kept getting better, because on the field, things were getting extremely physical.

* There were at least three times in that second half when an all-out brawl nearly broke out on the field. As a fan, I could feel the hatred in the stands that those players on the field had. And it showed. The crowd was out for donkey blood in that second half.

Thank GOD this game is back to being what it should be -- a freaking war between two teams and fanbases who hate each other. Not dislike, not irritate, hate. We hate denver. denver hates us. It was happy old times in there yesterday.

* The donkeys kicked a field goal early in the 4th quarter, to knock the lead down to 10-6. Significant because these were the only points scored in the second half yesterday. It was a defensive battle yesterday. I loved it.

* Speaking of giving credit where it is due, the Chiefs 4th quarter defense everyone! The broncos had the ball four times after that field goal. Here is how each drive ended:

1. Tamba Hali sack, strip, and fumble recovery on kyle orton.
2. 3 and out, punt.
3. punt after one first down gained.
4. last gasp heave to midfield.

That's shutting the opposition down when it counts.

* Awesome moment in the fourth quarter: an injured broncos player lying on the field, timeout due to injury. denver has just punted, and the Chiefs are about to start what (could have been) a game-clinching drive.

The Chiefs music chooser dude starts playing some pop song ... only, the fans overtake it with the Chop. It keeps getting louder, and louder, as in "shut up with your cheezy canned music, we're here to will this team to victory!" The Chiefs music chooser guy eventually gives up, pops in the Chop ... and after a couple seconds, skips it around to sync it up with the crowd. Good job by the fans yesterday. The fourth quarter noise level was incredible.

* Also interesting to me, as per the play-by-play at nfl.com: the last nine snaps kyle orton took, he was in the shotgun. Part of that makes sense -- the Chiefs pass rush had been harassing orton all day, piling up four sacks and numerous knock downs. But the reason for the shift to the shotgun, I think, is because on the prior possession (which was a three and out), the four man rush was so strong, that orton didn't have time to set and throw, and thus underthrew his receivers near the sideline on both first and second down. The Chiefs (as usual) didn't blitz a ton yesterday. They picked their moments. Because they were able to, because the front line was getting the job done on its own.

Either denver's offensive line is a shell of what it used to be ... or the Chiefs have finally found some talented players that can generate a pass rush. (Or both).

* The final punt. Wow. Just ... wow. After the Chiefs handled the play-clock perfectly, burning every one of the forty seconds they could after 2nd and 3rd down, Dusty C trotted out on 4th down with :20 left, and the Chiefs up four. "sleazy" eddie royal waited back near his own 20. The donkeys were rushing 8, trying to block the kick. Dusty C had to nail it. He needed a quality Dusty C punt -- very high, very deep, with at least 5 seconds of hang time.

The snap. The kick. It hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity ... and slid right through "sleazy" ed's arms and headed backwards. Fumble?!?! No, apparently "sleazy" ed didn't ever touch the ball. But his screw-up cost the donkeys nearly thirty yards, and nearly ten seconds. Instead of having the ball at his own 30 with a couple plays to run, the donkeys were buried inside their own 5 with less than three seconds to play.

Ballgame.

* Still, after Cam Newton's heroics on Saturday, until that final pass fell incomplete, you still had to worry. Thankfully, Brandon Flowers successfully knocked the ball to the ground, and the Chiefs had escaped with their biggest win in nearly four years, since the Jaguars victory to launch us to the postseason in 2006.

* A huge "atta kid!" to Brandon Carr yesterday. orton was tossing at Carr a lot, and Carr was more than up for the challenge. Ditto also to Brandon Flowers, who was so spent physically that he literally had to be carried off the field by two teammates yesterday when the game ended. (Always a scary sight). The front seven generated tremendous pressure, but give the secondary credit. There were at least 7-8 successfully defended passes by our secondary yesterday.

* The final defensive stats that really matter -- 4 sacks, 1 turnover, 0 touchdowns allowed, 25% third down conversion rate allowed (3 for 12), only 13 first downs allowed, and they weren't even on the field for 23 minutes. A huge defensive day for the Chiefs yesterday. Hu-yuge.

* orton's final stats: 9 for 28, 117 yards, 0 TD, 0 INT, 1 fumble (lost), 46.3 rating. I don't care who you are, you ain't gonna beat anybody when your QB stinks up the joint like that.

* You're damned right I pounded the columns on the walk out. But the mood was exactly like after Buffalo. It wasn't ecstasy, it was "whew, we lucked out big time today".

* I absolutely loved the postgame Haley / mcdaniels moment. The completely fake hug Coach Haley gave him had me laughing, and then the pat on top of josh's head just totally had me rolling. The other thing I loved postgame with Coach, was after walking around the huddled mass of humanity that was on the field, he emerged after a couple minutes, and when the fans in the first few rows of 132 and 133 who were there cheered him, he just raised his fist and did a quick pump forward with a huge smile on his face. I get the feeling that beating the denver broncos is every bit as personal to Todd Haley, as beating the raiders was (is) to Marty. I love it.

* The Chiefs reached 8-4 for the first time in five years, since "The Stand" defeated the donkeys in week 13 2005.

* The Chiefs are in first place and control their own destiny to win the division with four games to play, for the first time since 2003.

* Not much to report post-game. Had to hang around for a long time for the parking lots to clear out. Nobody left early yesterday. It was a four screwdriver postgame, the first two of which were basically inhaled. I usually don't drink much during the games. (Yesterday I had one bloody mary). I might need to start re-thinking that strategory. I'm way too sober to rationally handle thrillers like yesterday was.

* Finally got back around halftime of the oakland / San Diego game, and seeing it was 21-3 was just thrilling. Watching the second half was every bit the thrill I hoped it would be.

But the funniest moment in that game was in the closing minutes, when all that was left was raiders fans, and they started booing and taunting anything San Diego related ... including the cheerleaders routine. Way to go San Diego. Stay classy.

* So, we're two up with four to play. With a win on Sunday, the Chiefs can virtually clinch the division if the Jaguars take care of business at home (they host the raiders). But no matter what happens on Sunday, the Chiefs are back in a spot they haven't been in since mid-October: multiple games clear of the field. Thanks to yesterday's raiders win, a loss Sunday isn't a killer. Thank you oakland!

* The most encouraging thing to me when it comes to this season, versus the playoff seasons of the Chiefs past fifteen, twenty years, is that this team is getting better every week headed down the stretch. Think back to the last five playoff berths. The 2006 squad lost it's 12th game with an epic collapse at Cleveland, and then got pushed around by the Ravens and Chargers. The 2003 defense got rolled at denver, then destroyed at Minnesota, in a sign of things to come. The 1997 squad had a quarterback controversy. The 1995 squad had a kicking crisis. And the 1994 Chiefs, like the 2006 squad, fell from 7-4 to 7-7 before rallying to win its last two and sneak in as the sixth seed at 9-7.

The last time a Chiefs team truly was "peaking" as it ran through December, was 1993. The last Chiefs team to win a home playoff game, a road playoff game, hell a playoff game of any kind, and reach the AFC Title Game. I think that's a good sign. The 2010 Chiefs are just starting to tap into their potential. The best is yet to come. Starting Sunday in San Diego, with an opportunity to put the nails in the Chargers coffin, and potentially wrap this thing up before Christmas. At this time yesterday, NOBODY thought the AFC West would be decided before week 17. Thanks to yesterday, this thing could be all but over come 7pm Sunday night ...

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