If it's a good song --
A little Lynyrd Skynyrd?
Got you singing along!
Pour some gasoline
On a pile of wood --
Just a little too much?
Will make it burn real good!
We got the moonshine --
I'm talking both kinds.
Have you seen my baby?
Starin' at those tan lines!
Yeah we're throwing down,
Until the cops come.
But when the blue lights flash?
Boys, it's time to run!
You know the lights of my hometown?
They come alive when the sun goes down!
Talkin' 'bout the lights of my hometown --
Yeah, they come alive when the sun goes down! ..."
-- "Lights Of My Hometown" by Brantley Gilbert.
--------------------
OK, got a few weeks of stats to update, so here we go ...
Stats Through Week Seven.
* Week Six SU: 5-9-0.
* Week Seven SU: 9-5-0.
* SU Totals Through Week Seven: 59-46-1.
* Week Six ATS: 6-8-0.
* Week Seven ATS: 9-5-0.
* ATS Totals Through Week Seven: 58-47-1.
* Week Six Upset / Week: L Browns SU (28-32 Seahawks) / L ATS (+1).
* Week Seven Upset / Week: L Redskins SU (0-9 49ers) / W ATS (+10).
* Upset / Week Straight Up Through Week Seven: 5-3-0.
* Upset / Week Against the Spread Through Week Seven: 6-2-0.
Picking the Chiefs:
* Straight Up: 4-3-0 (L Jaguars, W raiders, W Ravens, W Lions, L Colts, L Texans, W those people).
* Against the Spread: 4-3-0 (L Jaguars, W raiders, W Ravens, L Lions, L Colts, W Texans, W those people).
And with those out of the way, let's get on to the non-Chiefs Week Eig ... (pause). What? (Pause). Really? A random, out of nowhere email as I'm typing this? Imagine the odds of that happening! OK, Stevo's Site Numero Dos' Non-Existent Editor Dudette, send it through.
"You didn't pick an Upset of the Week for this week! What the hell? My kids need to eat, dammit! I count on betting against you!" -- "bts", Incorporated Johnson County.
This week's Upset of the Week can be summed up in five words it has been a long, long time, since I got to type, let alone say.
(stevo exhaling a deep, deep sigh of disgust).
And those five words?
Will appear somewhere down below.
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The Non-Chiefs Picks.
* Byes: Cowboys, Ravens. Rest up, Ravens. Every Chiefs fan and his half-drunk brother will be rooting like hell for you next Sunday night. Please -- show up and do your job! (The Patriots visit the Ravens next Sunday night, (brett young voice) in case you didn't know.)
* at Vikings 24, Redskins (+16) 10. I'm not comfortable wagering on Kirk Cousins in prime time. I'm definitely not comfortable laying sixteen on Kirk Cousins, irregardless of the opponent. So I'll split the baby. Also, "Empty Nest Game O' The Week" Honors.
* at Lions 31, Giants (+6 1/2) 28. At least Matt Stafford has finally turned into the fantasy football scoring machine I always knew he could become.
* at Titans (-2 1/2) 27, Bucs 17. How awesome was that finish last week? I mean, even Mike Tirico noted on "Sunday Night Countdown" (or whatever the hell NBC calls its' pregame show) that "only the Chargers, or possibly the Jets, could have lost that game!" Well yes. We get it Mike. But to be fair, only the Chargers would have been in position to lose that game. The Jets don't have a godd*mned clue what the word "position" means, let alone where the goal line is.
* "Super" Chargers (+4) 35, at Bears 14. I had to do a quadruple take looking at this line on CBS Sportsline's spot. And by "quadruple take", I literally had to check that I wasn't a twelve pack in, hadn't hit a bowl, hadn't smoked a pre-rolled, hadn't tapped my new supply of Energy or Sleep pills from the good folks at The Green Solution * , and had to confirm that like Sam Darnold, I wasn't dodging ghosts in my "house". And I STILL didn't believe this line. I mean, and I defer to people far, far smarter than me when it comes to wagering ... what am I missing?
(*: thanks Tyler! Knew I could count on you with my "investment" when I couldn't make it last week! January 1st cannot get here soon enough!)
* Seahawks (-3 1/2) 41, at "Shane" Falcons 20. Of every preseason pick I made, picking the "Shane" Falcons to be the one seed out of the NFC has to be the worst. Also, Dan Quinn is so getting fired after this game -- Atlanta has too much talent to be 1-7 entering its' bye. I mean, good God, even John Bell Hood held out for a solid six weeks against General Sherman, despite having no hope of victory. This "defense of Atlanta" offers less of a, uuh, defense, than Mr. Hood's Confederate troops did, on Sherman's March to the Sea(hawks). (rimshot!) Oh come on, that was somewhat funny! Also, "ALF Game O' The Week" Honors.
* Eagles (+1 1/2) 31, at Bills 20. Legendary ESPN anchor Chris Berman claims "nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills". And he does have a fair point to be made with that statement. But this is quite possibly the Eagles season on the line. They're 3-4-0, L2, and essentially two back of Dallas (via tiebreakers) ... and after this one, the schedule looks like this: vs Bears / bye / vs Patriots (CBS) / vs Seahawks (SNF). In the words of Stevo's Site Numero Dos' Official Color Commentator (Emeritus) Dan Dierdorf: it would "behoove" the Eagles to win this game. They will.
* Rams 16, vs Bengals (+13) 13 (Game in London). London games are often wacky, "what the f*ck just happened here?!?!?!" affairs. Let the tradition continue. Also, "Good Times Game O' The Week" Honors.
* "Super" Cardinals (+10) 31, at Saints 20. Teddy Bridgewater cannot possibly go 6-0 filling in for Drew Brees, can he? (Note: he won't; Drew Brees is starting.) Saints have their bye after this one, before facing four straight divisional games. They can afford a slight slip-up, if (like me) you think the 49ers are paper tigers.
* at Colts (-6) 31, those people 21. I got nothing but laughter:
* at Jaguars (-6) 27, Jets 20. I'll go there -- was it the ghost of Jimmy Hoffa that Sam Darnold was seeing on Monday night? I mean, granted, it's the Fake Meadowlands, but Mr. Hoffa could have been buried underneath a parking lot there 40 years ago, versus under the end zone.
* at 49ers (-5 1/2) 34, Panthers 24. Every man and his brother is loading up on the Panthers. Make this the Wayne Allyn Root "Contrarian Pick O' The Week". 49ers get to 7-0 for the first time since 1990. And yeah, I love the fact that the Chiefs have started better than that, twice, since the last time the 49ers did it.
* at Texans 45, raiders (+6 1/2) 41. I pray this is our CBS local game. (Note: it is!) If it is, it'll be pulled up during the tailgate. If it's not? I might splurge, pay the $29 to buy the game, and roll it off the iPad during tailgating. To think this was a (not even remotely) competitive playoff game three years ago seeing "Brave" Brock Osweiler vs connor cook!
* at Patriots 34, Browns (+12 1/2) 31 (OT). The Browns can win this game outright. I hope they do. But if they lose, it's not paradise lost. They could seriously run the table after this one. I wouldn't wager on it ... but it's possible. Their last 9 after this one: at those people / vs Bills / vs Steelers (TNF) / vs Dolphins / at Steelers / vs Bengals / at "Super" Cardinals / vs Ravens / at Bengals. Tell me Baker can't go 8-1 against that stretch of stench to get to 10-6 (assuming a loss today to fall to 2-5). Or, as my co-worker and buddy Pickell would say: "put it this way" -- "Sir" Alex Smith navigated a far more difficult road, to close 10-0 four years ago, technically 11-0 if you count the playoff win, than Baker faces in his next ten, beginning Sunday.
* at Steelers 3, Dolphins (+14 1/2) 0. If I ran "Monday Night Football", I'd sue the NFL over being forced to broadcast this game. This is a disgrace of a prime-time game. What a f*cking joke.
--------------------
The "Klassy" Kevin Kietzman Tweet O' The Week.
I'm not sure what the stages of grief and/or denial are, but we've definitely entered the "bitter as f*ck" phase, for El Kapitan de Klassy:
OK, first of all, if you don't know who the Khiefs backup quarterback is, how the hell did you hold down the drive-time slot on local sports radio for two dekades? "I don't know my QB." I mean, if he'd tweeted "I don't know my BAC", that's understandable, because most people don't walk around with a breathalyzer in their pocket, unless forced to by a kourt of law. (Note: not even I've ever been forced to do that ... so you've really gotta have problems with the sauce, to have that happen.) If he'd tweeted "I can't find my belt", again, understandable, given Kheater Kev's past.
But to not know who Matt Moore is? (nell carter ... excuse me -- nell karter -- voice) Gimme a break!
Secondly, how can you go from full on panic mode, and in your very next tweet declare the game an "easy win"? Which one is it, Ol' Kev?
Also, the United States has approximately 360 million kitizens. When you figure between NYC (excuse me, NYK), LA, and Houston, you've got at least 60 million that live on the water, and we haven't even gotten into Miami, San Fran, Seattle, Portland, or the Jersey seaboard, let alone Salt Lake City, Chicago, or Milwaukee ... so where the hell are you coming up with "300 million Americans that don't live on the water"?
And lastly, if it was an "easy win", why are you focusing on what went wrong? (Which, to be fair, aside from Mr. Mahomes' injury, the answer to "what went wrong" is (sunny ledford voice) not a god d*mned thing.)
Although I did love the shout-out to Karma. As "The Voice of Reason"'s sister can tell you -- she is a b*tch.
In all seriousness, this guy is starting to make me look sane and reasonable. And it's my lack of sanity and reason that explains why I have a freaking "Voice of Reason" to begin with!
Please, "K"KK -- if you don't get help at Kharter, please -- get help somewhere.
--------------------
The Watching Party Plans.
There are no The Watching Party Plans, as this is a Chiefs game I will be in attendance for.
--------------------
The Tailgating Plans.
My cousins would be proud.
(My favorite cousin and her husband (and awesome newborn) live in Milwaukee. I'm long overdue for a BuKCsketball weekend, come to think of it ...)
We're doing brats, kilbasas, dogs, and other heart-attack inducing sausages. We're doing beer mac and cheese (note: I have no idea what this is, but I'm good for two bowls), hot German potato salad or soup (I forget which one I was told), plus a full on Bloody Mary bar featuring Grey Goose vodka (thanks Mr. Griffin!) and the bloody mary mix we picked up at Waddy's in South Dakota last month.
The Bus is leaving at 11:30. We should be in line by noon. I know the STM email said the gates open at 2:30, but come on. It's going to be in the low 60s, no wind, all sun, and it's the two most alcoholic-infused fanbases in the nation coming together. Those bastardos are opening by 1:30 at the latest.
(And yes, I have a text in to my "highly placed confidential source who only speaks on condition of anonymity", aka "Rufus", as to his thoughts on when the gates will actually open. He is almost never wrong.)
As always, anyone and everyone who wishes to join in the fun, tomfoolery, and hijinks is more than welcome to, uuh, join in. We don't discriminate or exclude. At least not as long as I'm a part of this group. Which I'm guessing will be until I drop dead.
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The Flashback.
There are a few juicy ones to (ralph wiggum voice) choo-choo-choose from, like:
* Super Bowl I. Really needs no explanation.
* A late season 1989 Chiefs victory at Lambeau that not only kept the Chiefs faint playoff hopes alive, but cost the Packers the NFC Norris title, locked them out of the wild card slots, and kept them out of the playoffs entirely.
* A 1993 midseason Monday Nighter at Arrowhead that was pure madness.
* A 1996 midseason battle at Arrowhead between the two teams Sports Illustrated picked to reach Super Bowl XXXI, a 27-20 Chiefs victory best known as "The Sean LaChapelle Game". (Note: if you know who Sean LaChapelle is, then you, like me, need mental professional help from watching too many Chiefs games.)
* The Comeback for the Ages, Week Six in Lambeau 2003, when the Chiefs trailed 34-17 with barely eight minutes to play, then forced overtime, forced an Ahman Green fumble to open overtime, and ended overtime via a Trent Green to Johnnie Morton touchdown bomb to escape 40-34.
* The Upset of the Ages, Week Fifteen at Arrowhead 2011, when the Chiefs -- a 12 point underdog! -- upset the 13-0 Packers 19-14, to temporarily keep their playoff hopes alive. (Yes, kids, the 2011 Chiefs -- despite cycling through four god-awful quarterbacks, two sh*tty head coaches, and a general manager who prioritized tossing candy wrappers in the trash over quality draft picks, somehow, someway, controlled its own destiny entering Week Fifteen. At 5-8. They sadly -- and predictably -- sh*t the bed at home the following week, to blow the dream. Your 2011 AFC Worst everyone!!!!!)
Yet none of those, is the game I choose to look back on.
Because there's one game in this (not even close to being) rivalry, that defines these two franchises -- especially over the last fifteen years -- and that game was Week Eight, 2007.
The 2007 Chiefs season did not start well. Opening 0-2 on the road, they somehow stormed back to take 4 of 5, sitting alone in first place in the AFC West entering November, welcoming the Packers to town.
For three and a half quarters, the "wait, how the hell are the Chiefs this good?!?!?!" guys fought toe to toe, inch for inch, score for score with the team that would wind up hosting the NFC Title Game. Trailing 16-14 with barely five minutes to play, Chiefs perpetual backup Damon Huard hit Tony Gonzalez on a gorgeous pass to put the Chiefs up 20-16. After not one, not two, but three two-point conversion tries thanks to two defensive penalties, the Chiefs took the lead 22-16.
Even better, on the ensuing drive, the Packers faced a 2nd and 10 at their own 40. One stand -- just one stop -- and the Chiefs would get the ball back, up six, only needing a first down to seal the most improbable win of the first half of 2007, and set up one potentially "holy hell, where did this season come from?!?!?!" stretch run, the likes of which we hadn't seen since 1995.
Instead, one play -- one f*cking play -- changed everything, in hindsight, for both franchises, for the better part of a decade.
Because Brett Favre hit an uncovered Greg Jennings for 60 yards, to put the Packers up 23-22.
Two Chiefs turnovers -- and a field goal and touchdown by the Packers -- later, the Pack won 33-22. As noted, they'd go on to host the NFC Title Game, would reach the playoffs in 8 of the next 9 seasons, and win the Lombardi in 2010.
The Chiefs? This would be the first of twelve consecutive losses, the first of three straight (at least) twelve loss seasons, and they would reach the playoffs only once in the next six years -- the fluke that was 2010.
Sometimes, one play doesn't just define a season, it defines a franchise for years to come. I still have nightmares seeing Greg Jennings sprinting up the home team sideline, uncovered, and it's been twelve years now come next week.
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Stevo's Drink O' The Week.
When in doubt, go back to the classics. And there are few, if any, drinks in life more classic than the greatest one Arrowhead has ever offered: the Jacked Up.
In case you've never had one, a Jacked Up is a lovely libation that is 1/3rd Southern Comfort, 1/3rd Jack Daniels, and 1/3rd Coke. (And when able, chuck a lime or two in there, now that SoCo Lime isn't available anymore.)
You may not remember much after three or four of these bastardos ... but you won't regret it (maureen mcgovern voice) the morning after.
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Stevo Neighborhood Update:
It's been an, uuh, eventful couple weeks here on Madison Avenue.
First, my next door neighbor John, who is currently battling cancer, had to be admitted to the hospital, which sucks. If you ever met this guy, you'd love him like I do. He begins his day sitting on his front porch drinking coffee, and nine hours later when you get home from work, here's there drinking beer, somehow his perfectly manicured lawn without a blade of grass above three inches in it, without a leaf, twig, or acorn on it. That's living the dream right there. Especially the (merle haggard voice) "I think I'll just stay here and drink" part of it.
Second, the 75th Street water main rebuild is indefensibly indefensible. I mean, how long does it take to replace four blocks of a water main? We're at NINE WEEKS and counting! And considering it's beginning to affect our water pressure now, I'm getting p*ssed. I need my showers ridiculously hot for a solid fifteen minutes to wake up every morning, dammit.
But the other thing? We have new neighbors who moved in (dolly parton voice) "two doors down", and across the street from me. They have a cat. (Needless to say, said cat does not like my other next door neighbor Sharon's dog. That dog barks non-stop now.)
The cat's name?
Oh sweet Jesus, you cannot make this up.
Stevo.
And this cat, being new to his environs, is constantly wandering around loose, so its' owner keeps shouting "Stevo! Stevo!" at like six in the morning. Like Karen's dog sh*tting outside my window that early isn't bad enough, now I got some (probably) bat sh*t crazy cat lady shouting my name into the dead of morning.
What also doesn't help? I swear, her voice sounds just like my mom's, so I always pop wide
I've said it before, and I'll say it again in the next section: you can have the suburbs. I'll take the city, because it's just too damned much fun.
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Disreputable Mexican Food Truck Update.
If you happen to take the Southwest Trafficway northbound during the day (and I do on the way into "company Stevo works for"), you'll notice there's a couple of apartment complexes on the east side, just north of 39th Street but south of Valentine. And that those apartment complexes have a couple of vacancies they are advertising for.
That, in and of itself, is not surprising.
What is surprising ... is that there is a gigantic "Blue Beetle Wildlife Control" banner across the entrance to these complexes, and said banner has a lovely photo of a raccoon, a rat, and other assorted vermin you want no part of in your living quarters.
Which begs the question: exactly who the hell are these places catering to? I mean, I know I can only speak for myself, but if I was looking for a place to live, I sure as all hell would not be stopping in to check out a place that advertises it is now "wildlife clear". Because if something as noticeable as a freaking raccoon lives luxuriously on your premises, how many cockroaches are hanging out in spiderweb hammocks inside the walls? How many mice are living Jerry-style in an opening in the baseboard while a cat-like Tom tries to kill him?
(Also: how many people reading this know who Tom and Jerry are? You millenials! Like it's not bad enough you're drinking up every handle of Weller in this fine metropolitan community, you don't know cartoon classics either!)
To say nothing of those lovely bed bugs that'll (stewie griffin voice) roo-een your sleeping experience for as long as they draw breath?
39th and the Trafficway may not be the best part of town, but for f*ck's sake, it's not the heart of the inner city. It's perfectly livable. If I didn't love Waldo so much, I'd contemplate moving a few blocks away from these apartments to Hyde Park. As noted, it's a very livable part of town. (And much closer to work than I am now, although the commute in this time of year on Ward Parkway and the Trafficway is amazing to see ... but not so amazing to drive.)
Very livable ... except, apparently, for the "wildlife" that maintenance in these joints either cannot or will not control. (Well that, or like this site's primary author, said maintenance and/or residents enjoy a joint or five a few times a week and ignore said "wildlife". Either way, it's still ridiculous to have a "wildlife control" sign on your front lawn though, right?)
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: y'all can have the suburbs. I'll take the city. It's just way too much damned fun living inside the metro, rather than around it.
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The Chiefs Pontification and Prediction:
(the congregation) (shifting nervously in the pews)
(pastor stevo) (chugs a quick jacked up)
(pastor stevo) Let's begin.
--------------------
"Once you eliminate all other possibilities, that which remains is the truth" -- attributed to Sherlock Holmes.
--------------------
This week's Chiefs Pontification and Prediction ... comes to you via a long-dormant, formerly long-standing tradition.
Because I tried everything to come up with a theme this week. (Note: the rest of this post wrote itself from about 5am Saturday through 7:30am Saturday, before I took a nap from frustration.) I tried a "Tale O' The Tape". I tried an inspirational speech. I even contemplated hauling out my best Herm Edwards voice to encourage us to simply "believe a miracle" (which my fantasy team desperately needs today to avoid a 2-6 start ... with two losses by less than a point already. Including last week's "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!" late completion to some Jets wide receiver I've never heard of for 13 yards and 0.3 point victory for my opponent. Oof.)
(Also, the fact I've never heard of this dude, probably explains why I'm 2-5 with Le'Veon Bell in my lineup every week. The lesson? As always -- I'm usually drunk, high, or both, at the moments in life that truly matter, like a fantasy football draft.)
I set my alarm for 7am this morning -- GameDay morning -- in the hopes that something would come to me (debbie gibson voice) "only in my dreams" * .
(*: she hosts a "mixtape" show every other Friday at 5pm CT on SiriusXM 16 that is FANTASTIC. If you're within five years of age of me (I'll turn 43 on Wild Card weekend), you will LOVE this show. Next new airing is November 8th ... as I'm driving to Nashville. #effyeah)
But in the end, after a day of starts and stops, ups and downs, frustrations and can tossing and pacing the crime-riddled paths of Sunnyside Park in an attempt to generate some intelligent topics of conversation, even a shot-fueled night at the Double asking fellow drunken baseball fans what I should write about ... well, as noted: once you eliminate all other possibilities?
That which remains is the truth.
And the truth?
Is what used to be the staple that keyed this mad exercise in gambling idiocy, twenty years ago.
Feel free to hit your print button ... and enjoy, if possibly (ok, definitely not, but still), for possibly for the last time ...
--------------------
"The Poem".
"Sunday night at Arrowhead
The Chiefs will have the Packers over.
It promises to be slightly more intense?
Than a kid's game of Red Rover.
The Chiefs at five and two sit atop the West;
The Pack at six and one sit atop the Norris.
A matchup between two really good teams?
NBC Execs sing the "Hallelujah!" chorus!
The Pack feature Aaron Rodgers,
And a defense led by some Smiths;
The Chiefs are missing Patrick Mahomes --
We could use an Alex Smith.
Instead it will be Matt Moore with the start,
His first in a couple of years.
(He's likely been spending his last two years,
Saying nothing but "yes, dear".)
The Chiefs also are missing
Half of their offensive line.
But that's OK -- the defense is down so many players,
It might be impossible to play nickel, let alone dime.
On paper this game is already decided --
The Packers win in a route.
Buf for once, we hope Arnold was right,
And paper is "what we talkin' 'bout"!
Because a laminated sheet is the way
The Chiefs steal the game,
And send the Packers home,
With another loss to their name.
See the one thing the Packers cannot plan for,
The one think they cannot see,
Is just how brilliant a mind,
The Chiefs have in "Fat" Andy Reid.
He will scheme, he will plot,
He will leave no stone unturned,
In an effort to find an advantage,
Over the Packers and Matt LaFleur.
True, the Chiefs could use some help tonight,
From some unlikely sources.
So let's place a call to the ages,
Through a couple classic verses.
"But then, I stop.
Because I spot a car.
That might contain
My special little star." (c)
That star was always
Donnie Lewis Edwards Junior;
The day he was not resigned?
The "Voice of Reason" reacted with furor.
And when you are angry,
When you are upset?
There's only one sure place to go,
To put your mind at ease.
(Note: that previous paragraph,
That doesn't even remotely rhyme?
Was for the "Voice of Reason's" Sister,
Who used to proof read these on her time.
I always made sure to include
One paragraph that made no sense.
No rhyme, no reason, no thought --
Just a waste of her intelligence.
And now we can get back,
To the freaking point of this poem.
Which is ... g*d damned if I know,
So let's just keep goin'.)
"Then we open the program,
To see who our referee will be,
And shout out in horror,
Sweet Jesus! Ed Hochuli!" (c)
To which once Ed reacted,
By laughing and asking aloud,
"Is that a problem, son?"
"No sir!" the response, from a laugh-out-loud crowd.
Sadly, no Hochulis will be on the field tonight,
And Ed never will referee again.
I hate it -- I truly hate it --
When amazing things come to an end.
I hope you have enjoyed this trip,
Back down the lane of history.
Because tonight is going to be a game,
Every Chiefs fan will want to see.
From the moment the gates open,
And the smoke starts wafting aloft,
Until you're stuck in traffic ten hours later,
Flipping your fellow drivers off?
It's going to be a party;
We're going to rejoice --
It's going to be sixty in October!
Wearing shorts is actually a viable choice!
The Chiefs have two advantages I believe,
The Packers cannot over come tonight.
But only one of these advantages,
Can the Packers prep to fight.
To every Packers fan tonight?
Be loud, proud, and possibly crude!
But please try not to be very rude --
And definitely don't become, completely nude.
They can prep for the crowd,
But they can't prep for Coach.
His play calling, his scheming --
Tonight, he will get to boast.
The Chiefs are going to win,
Because they will outwit, outplay, and outlast,
Jeff, Boston Rob and Sandra watching?
Would have a bleeping blast.
So, to answer that question asked above,
That I've yet to address?
About your Upset of the Week?
(stevo sighing in disgust voice) Take a mother f*cking guess.
Chiefs plus four score thirty one,
The Packers only score twenty eight,
In an overtime instant classic,
That for work tomorrow? Will make us all late.
If you're coming tonight?
Be loud. Be very, very damned loud!
Pound that seat! Drink that flask!
Make your dead grandpa proud!
Because tonight? The lights of our hometown?
The nation will fully see!
And realize there are no greater things in this land,
Than the nation's heartland team, and it's damned proud city!"
-- (c) 2019, Stevo Productions, No Rights Reserved.
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Again, if you're coming and need a place to tailgate, we should be in our spot on the grassy knoll north of the G30 sign when the gates open. We'll get you liquored up and properly prepped if need be.
Also, a helpful hint from an Arrowhead Pride reader: when you get inside the stadium, buy an aluminum Bud or Bud Light bottle. (Or other brand if available ... and please, dear God, let there be Coors Light available.) Gotta be aluminum. Then once it's empty? Pound that bastardo on the seat in front of you, the overhang sign in front of you, the Packers fan in front of you. It makes a deafening noise.
We need all the help we can get tonight. This game is winnable. This team hasn't lost three straight at home since "Fat" Andy's first season (and technically, that turned into a four game losing streak before it was done in 2014).
There's a damned good chance the Chiefs can seriously all but clinch this division tonight. The raiders are road underdogs, and would fall four back with tiebreakers, if they lose and we win. The "Super" Chargers are road underdogs, and would fall four back (no tiebreakers), if they lose and we win. Those people are road underdogs, and would fall five back (with tiebreakers), if they lose and we win.
We could essentially be four clear of the division at midseason with a win tonight and expected help elsewhere. I'm so ready for this. I hope you are too.
Let those blue lights flash boys! It's the Packers time to run!
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