chiefs! titans! (steve breaking down in tears ...)

“I’ve been alone with you inside my mind,
And in my dreams I’ve kissed your lips a thousand times,
I sometimes see you pass outside my door,
Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?

I can see it in your eyes!
I can see it in your smile!
You’re all I’ve ever wanted,
And my arms are open wide.

Cause you know just what to say,
And you know just what to do,
And I want to tell you so much,
I love you …”

-- “Hello”, best performed by KC native and fellow Chiefs fan David Cook on “American Idol”. The smirk at the 1:23 mark of the Youtube! clip above. The knowing, "holy sh*t, I nailed this!" sh*t eating grin that David Cook exhibited that night. Today, leaving Arrowhead, but especially leaving the postgame party, watching the Chargers self-destruct as only a Norv Turner team can. That grin was all over my face. And good luck finding anything that can erase it ...

--------------------------

And it's still there three hours later.

How fitting that on a day when not one, but two unstoppable, unreal streaks come to an end at Arrowhead Stadium … that two simple words sum up the happiest day of my 2010 (save for, you know, that day when my nieces were born. That was happier).

Two simple words, that I texted to a boatload of friends at about 6pm Sunday night.

Two simple words, that even now, I am grinning a goofy ass grin in anticipation of typing, as I reach for the celebratory huge glass of merlot:

(joe starkey voice) Hello Playoffs!!!

Sweet Jesus, we’re in! There’s no need for backdoor shenanigans, no need to figure out five team teasers in week seventeen, no need to stress and worry – and drink needlessly from said stress and worry.

Hello Playoffs!!!

Holy God. It’s been over two hours since the Chiefs clinched the AFC West Division championship, clinched the New Arrowhead’s first playoff game, and I still cannot even begin to type up my thoughts coherently. Hang on, let me get another glass of merlot. I know it won’t help … but damn if it don’t go down good!

I should have known from pretty much moment one today that this was going to be an epic, celebratory day that took at least some things full circle. (More on that to come). But as I got to my seat today, and walked down the aisle, I just felt like this was going to be an epic day. I can’t explain it. I just sensed it. Walking down row 26, arriving at my seat (14), and patting seat 13 in front of me to welcome my always-loved, sadly-departed friend, I just sensed that today, for the first time since Randy was sitting in that seat, something great was going to happen.

Not something fun. Not something good.

Something great.

As always, your recap, as best I can remember it …

* Arrived at the gates at 7am. We were second in line, behind Carl’s buddy Larry. Phil and his crew were next to us. It was cold, it was snowing … and by 7:30, the line was backed up to Stadium Drive. Arrowhead Nation was ready.

When I mentioned in the picks this week that a large part of me wanted this game blacked out, because I wanted this win for “us”, the “die-hardiest of the die-hards”, this is who I meant. The folks who win or lose, rain or shine, keep showing up, keep tailgating, keep the faith. Today more than anything, was about “us”. It was a payment for everything “we’ve” invested in this team. “We” never gave up. “We” never quit on these guys.

* About 8am, Carl and his crew discovered the gates weren’t locked. So of course they swung those bad boys wide open. Only …

* The first incredible streak to die today, was Carl beating the parking attendants. For some reason, he never pulled through. He entered at the same time as everyone else, and (presumably) paid this week. Here’s to starting a new streak next week buddy.

* We had everything set up by 8:30ish (the gates did open early, thanks to Carl I guess). Not much on the menu today. This was all about … well, attempting to not freeze your ass off. Hence the ridiculous amount of adult beverages available for consumption.

* About 9:30, Gregg and his brother-in-law arrived. They were supposed to hoof it over to A2 to meet Ross and his crew. Go figure, they never made it.

I have to be honest – there’s nobody I’d rather share this day with, than Gregg. He’s the biggest Chiefs fan I know. (He puts me to shame, which is a scary, scary thought). He’s the one guy who’s never given up on me, no matter how many times I p*ss him off. Let’s just say, looking back at the 2 minute warning, as the scoreboard showed the opening touchdown for the Bengals, and the Chiefs and Titans were running out the clock … it got a little dusty in 132. And the only two of us left at that point were me and Ray.

* Unintentional comedy moment of the day: me and Cory explaining what a dugout is to an obtuse tailgater. Dammit D, we missed you today …

* Also about 9:30, a text message from “The Crush” arrived: “you freezing out here today”. Normally at 9:30 on a gameday (and insert the sport here, they all apply I guess), I’m already so far gone that the implication of those five words would have whizzed right over my head. Today was so freaking cold though, that the multiple shots of Kamikaze, Alabama Slammer, Apple Pie, Lemon Drop something, and the Bloody Mary’s and spiked hot chocolate I was plowing through didn’t really kick in. I immediately texted back “yup where yall at”. After seeing she was a couple rows in front of us, I of course invited her to join in the fun.

Which she did! See, who says I can’t be a charming, incredible, sexy-as-hell catch? Other than everyone reading this, of course.

(Damn I have a crush on that girl. More to come).

* Had to head down about 10:30ish to do a full round of apple pie shots with Phil and his crew. So, as I’m standing there shooting the sh*t with them, turns out his mom and dad live in the next subdivision across from Katie. But not just that – oh no, it gets better! They’re my buddy Tim and his wife Jamie’s backyard neighbors! Sweet Jesus it’s a small world out there!

* Reason 1,096,387 to love tailgating: we’re setting up reciprocal pool days with Phil and his crew next summer.

* Got an awesome multiple tailgate group pic with our crew, Phil and his guys, The KC Kicks Gr-Ass guys, and the newbies from Wichita who parked next to us. And I know his name! (It’s Steve). Not even I can screw that one up. (Damned if I can remember his wife’s name though. But I do remember they have 6 kids, all under the age of 9. Drew, buddy – you and Ash got some more “work” to do to catch up! You’re only halfway there!)

* We broke the tailgate down early today. Once the sun popped out, it was actually fairly decent out there. So rather than freeze on the hill … it was time to go “bake” in our seats.

* No Castro today. Tragic. Although at least his crew gave us one funny moment: they pulled in backwards at the gate opening … then realized after 90 minutes they were pointed in the opposite direction, and tried to turn the bus around, resulting in screwing over their whole tailgate setup.

On the other hand, they had a sweet “All I Want for Christmas Is a Super Bowl Berth” stocking stuffer that I took a pic of (and will post once I upload it). It was awesome. I know I texted it to a few folks. Two down, four to go guys. Four to go to bring Lamar’s Trophy home …

* I stopped to offer my condolences to Carl on the walk in. He just laughed and noted “every great thing ends sometime”. I’ve been coming to that stadium every Sunday since I moved back from college 12 years ago, and I’ve never seen that guy have to wait for everyone else. So at least 120 games, he beat the parking attendants. That’s a streak at least equal to the other unbeatable streak: my flask vs. gate security.

* Which also tragically came to an end today. No, I didn’t get caught. I … left it in the cooler. It was filled. It was cold. It had delicious Hot Damn! in it. And like a dumbass, it sat until the game was over. So, I put the question out there: is the streak over? Or do you treat this like a rainout in baseball, and no stats count until the next game?

* After a quick stop at the bathroom, I headed down to my seat. And like I said in the opening, I can’t explain it, I just felt today was our day. Everyone who arrived after me (I was second there, after Mona), I just welcomed with “today we win the f*cking division!” I’d like to think that friendly “still love ya pal” tap on seat 13 was the cause of it. But I just knew it. We were winning this thing today.

* Great pregame moment with Chris. She’s the strongest person I know. I have so much respect for not just her, but how she’s handled the blow life has handed her. So glad to see she’s got the best support system imaginable, as Greg’s brother Frank was with her today in Greg’s seat. He will wake up. He will recover. As Ray put it at halftime, “just tell him we made the playoffs. That would wake anyone out of their sleep!”

* KC Wolf sketch: uuh … if you were to rate the Wolf’s sketches from 1 to 10, with 1 being “worse than a preschool play” (which I sat through for my special little guy this week – and he nailed his lines, thank you very much!), and 10 being “seeing Tim’s sister on Broadway” … today’s sketch was a negative 500. It was Wolf, on a sleigh, with a couple kids they recruited from the early arrivals, being pulled by “Rudolph” Warpaint. I booed it. It was awful on a truly awful scale.

* The Anthem, on the other hand. Well, after the abortion that was the Eli Young Band, there’s nowhere to go but up. It was Zeke Montana from Q104. (I had to ask who he was – I don’t listen to local radio). He was done in under 40 seconds. Wonderful.

* Chiefs win the toss, choose to receive. My brother was stuck at family Christmas number three, so I promised him updated until he got home.

(Note: I got at least seven different “you’re going to the Chiefs game” directed questions from my mom the last two days. At least. I knew what she was trying to do. (Get me to show up for the family get-together). For once, I held my ground. Every response was “yup, I’m going”. Then she’d always follow up with the “well, it’s gonna be cold out there” response. After about six of these yesterday, my dad (reason 1,989,385,287 why I love that guy to death) steps in, and the conversation basically went like this:

(steve) yes, I’m fine. I’ve sat through colder games than this.
(steve’s dad) hey, why don’t you stop by on your way home, I’ve got some boots that should fit you.
(steve) that’d be great!
(steve’s mom) (fuming mad)
(steve’s mom) (glares at steve’s dad)
(steve’s dad) while you’re at it, can you get me a blanket? I think I’m on the couch tonight.
(steve) (laughing)
(steve) sure.
(steve’s dad) oh, and jets updates. Please send them.

So the note concludes: how do I handle a Jets / Chiefs wildcard game? Oy. My head hurts. Let’s move on).

* The Chiefs scored a touchdown on the opening drive for the first time all season yesterday. And it was a beauty. Just cram it down the Titans throat with Charles. 7-0.

* After the Titans drive but fail to convert a fourth down, the Chiefs punch it in again with Jamaal Charles on a flare pass. 14-0 Chiefs. My brother’s response: “your not missing a dam thing”.

* On the other hand, Drew’s “encouragement” to us this morning was to “be lud and be drunk”. Uuh, lud? That’s grouse. That’s Zues in nature. (dusty voice) stop it Stevo! You’ve run this one into the ground!

* Chiefs tack on a field goal to go up 17-0.

* After exchanging punts, one of the sweetest conversions on 3rd and long you will ever see. 3rd and 19 I believe. (Note: I usually do these recaps on Monday morning, when I can get the exact down / distance / time left perfect thanks to the nfl.com play-by-play. Tonight? I’m winging it). I know it was 3rd and (my uncle geno’s voice) fuhgedaboudit. Cassel hits Bowe at our 40, already has the first … and about 4 missed tackles later, dives into the east end zone, it’s 24-0 (with a b.s. personal foul penalty for celebration tacked on). Should be ballgame, except …

* Forget if it was Tennessee’s second or third play, but Collins drops back, and Kenny Britt is WIDE OPEN. I mean, I had a 50/50 shot to catch this if I was running Britt’s pattern, that’s how open he was. Suddenly it’s 24-7, about 5 to go in the first half. The Chiefs drive, then miss a field goal. (Positive? Note: I texted multiple people in pregame that “succup struggling with the wind”. He definitely misjudged it on this kick, it was at least 3 yards short).

* Titans take over, under 2 to go, can definitely make this a game … and Collins underthrows his receiver, and Eric Barry, after juking, jiving, simply surviving!, takes it to the house! 31-7! Effectively the ballgame. What made me laugh about this, was that at pregame tailgating, I got into it with a Chiefs fan who was trashing Berry. And as I noted, “well, Dale Carter had a great first game, then sucked ass for three months, then poured it on in December his rookie year to get the Chiefs in the playoffs, including his TD-INT to seal the game against denver to get us in”. Full circle! Another rookie DB from Tennessee takes it to the house to seal a playoff berth!

* More full circle: “The Crush” and her party happily made their way down late in the second quarter. I say “full circle”, because the first time I ever met Megan? Was in that exact spot, so to speak. She went with us to a preseason game against Miami (Trent Green’s return) in 2007, and actually sat in the exact seat she wound up in today (I gave her and D my two extras for that one). The next hour and half, was “the ex” and “the crush” competing for my attention for like, 15 seconds … and spending the remaining 89 minutes and 45 seconds becoming friends. Uuh … I think this is good?

* I kid, I kid. It was great. I always love sitting by Katie, because she ignores my being dialed into the game non-stop. And I love sitting by Megan because, hell, it’s Megan. I’ll always love sitting by her.

* Highlight of my second half: dropping multiple times the (sawyer voice) sonofab*tch! blast. Other than me, she’s the biggest “Lost” fan I know. I would think 35 plus (sawyer voice) sonofab*tch! blasts would work in my favor? Ok, probably not. But still, that game got stressful for a while.

* Boring 3rd quarter. Titans got another long TD, we tacked on a field goal, its 34-14 headed to the fourth.

* Best 4th quarter play: Chiefs running out the clock (or trying to), it’s 3rd down, and we toss a wounded duck down the sideline right in front of me to D Bowe … who one-hands it, gains another 5 yards, and stays in bounds for the first. Ballgame.

* Other best 4th quarter play: the clock striking zero. Everyone else around me left about the two minute warning (perfectly acceptable: we’re up huge, the sun has gone down so it’s cold, and you can already hear the pounding on the columns up Gate H). I just stood there, raised two huge fists to the sky, pumped them a few times, then pounded seat 13 in front of me. Headed out the right side (the 131 aisle) because I had to pee. And the only other one of the faithful left was Ray. We just slapped hands, both with goofy “is this really happening!” grins on our faces, and Ray put it best: “Let’s hope next week is a godd*mned scrimmage!” Uuh, other than for seeding? I think we got our wish, champ.

* The walk out was uneventful. High five to Davey and Tracey, and Beth. Quick stop off at Carl’s tailgate for a bite or two of the postgame spread. Finally made it up to the command center, cold as can be … and then, well, you can’t make sh*t like this up.

Our neighbors to the west (newbies) start screaming at some car with a dude driving it in a donkeys coat. The car stops in the middle of the exiting traffic. Dude in donkeys coat gets out, as does some dude in a D Bowe jersey, and an old-school Boomer Grigsby jersey (46). And …

Brawl.

Not just a “brawl”, a “six golf carts carrying Missouri Highway Patrolmen” show up to police it brawl. They’re still throwing down when the cops arrive. The 82 jersey guy actually takes out 3 cops before he’s hauled to the ground. The 46 jersey guy is screaming at our neighbors. The donkeys coat guy is visibly agitated.

We were all set to go before this. But you can’t walk out on a brawl. Not only can you not walk out on a brawl – a guy in a Chevy Suburban was driving along trying to exit, saw the fracus … and plowed into one of the Highway Patrol golf carts, because he was distracted watching about 5 dudes and 3 girls throw down for no obvious reason. Me, Mona, Sheila, and Tyler could not look away. Finally, after about 20 cops show up, a couple accident reports are filed, and (sadly) no field sobriety tests are conducted, the cops (awesomely) let the brawlers walk free, and the Suburban dude drove off. I know I bag on cops a lot, because … well, they’re power-hungry crazies 99.99 percent of the time. But I gotta give credit where it’s due. It was a verbal spat, got a little bit ugly, got a little out of control … but nobody got hurt, nobody was really criminally negligent … and the cops let ‘em all walk. Good job, MSHP. Now if you’d just move your cones at 8:40am, you’d be good guys.

* Postgame ride back was an adventure. The command center was hurting for gas. Somehow, we limped home. I’d be lying if I said I knew how – I thought that thing ran out of gas at least 5 times on Blue Ridge alone.

* The rest of the postgame was watching the Chargers lose to Cincy, and exchanging Christmas gifts. I thought Mona’s gifts were the best – she picked one individual item for each person that fit what they loved (in my case, the merlot I’m plowing through tonight, with a Santa outfit on it, absolutely sweet), but also, a Chiefs picture magnet with an image one of us had captured this year at tailgating. Mine was from the Arizona game – just me, an adult beverage, tossing washers. I’m guessing I found a way to lose to Dusty that day, even though he wasn’t there. But the pics were awesome gifts. Mine’s going up in the cubicle tomorrow, if only so Linda and Kathy can confirm that I’m a little bit of a “free spirit” (their words, not mine. That reminds me, need to ask them what they thought of D. I’m guessing “free spirit” is a little bit conservative?)

* Until next week, or the next time I post, do yourself a favor.

Buy the Monday Kansas City Star.

(Trust me – I lived in Dallas in the glory years. I know what I’m saying here).

Buy the Monday Kansas City Star.

Open up the A section.

And count up all the ads for “Chiefs Divisional Championship Apparel!” You’re guaranteed to have at least half-page ads from Hy-Vee, Price Chopper, Dillards, Macy’s, JC Penney’s, Target, Wal-Mart, Arrowhead West, Pro Image, Champs, Foot Locker, Kansas Sampler.

And then save that ad to show to everyone you know. Because it says what some of us have dreamed of, some of us (hey, that’s me!) predicted back in September, and all of us are craving, those two magical words not even the NFL can deny us from crying out in glee now:

Hello Playoffs!

Can’t wait to see how Peter King still justifies putting the Chargers ahead of the Chiefs in his MMQB column in the morning. If anyone can do it, that “well, they were good last year, so clearly they’re the best this year” asshat can …