Thursday, August 2, 2012

the mixologist's third 27 ...


Hell, call it “Motivational Thursday”, because we’re cranking out the next 27 in Mixology 2012!  (kazoo voice) (unsure of how to respond …)


81. “In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins.  THIS is the song that sends chills down my spine on the walk in for a prime time game.  The air filled with all the smoke from tailgating, the sun descending behind us (I tailgate in Lot G, so it literally sets behind us), and then THIS starts blaring over the PA system.  If that doesn’t get you a little bit geeked up for what’s about to happen, you don’t have a conscience.

80. “Kids” by MGMT.  I told you there’d be more than one effort by MGMT in Mixology 2012!  Also qualifies for the “field” under the “anytime a “boasheao” uses said song as her ringtone, it’s an AQ for the field”.  And if you don’t know what AQ stands for, please – watch the NCAA Tournament next March.

79. “Country Girl (Shake It For Me)” by Luke Bryan.  Rock solid tailgating option.  And yes, I need a country girl to “shake it for me” in the worst imaginable way (rimshot!)  Thank you, thank you, I’ve been here for four years and counting with no help from Barack Obama’s roads, bridges, or taxation policies.

78. “Baby” by Justin Bieber (featuring Ludacris).  Of COURSE the Beliebers check in on Mixology 2012!  And how awesome was it during the Olympics last night, when NBC noted “famous Americans tweeting about the results”, and included Justin Bieber as a “famous American”?  I say it was eight layers of awesome!  (He’s Canadian, in case you’re as asleep at the wheel as NBC’s researcher was.)

A word of caution: the next song, is included solely, and completely, because “Russ the Bus Man”?  THIS is somehow, inexplicably, his favorite song.  I have to be honest: it’s ATROCIOUS.  You literally want to pound your head against the concrete when it comes on.  But again, if Mixology gets to slip in classics like “Shots!”, or the Usher effort to appear after this song?  You gotta compromise, and compromise results in …

77. “North to Alaska” by Johnny Horton.  If you’ve never heard this song, thank God above.

76. “Lil’ Freak” by Usher (featuring Nicki Minaj).  Truth be told?  This is my favorite Ursher song.  I “freaking” LOVE this song.  Plus you’re guaranteed to get at least one couple from one of the tailgates in our general area start grinding to it, which can be epic … or vomit inducing.  My God, I really need a “lil’ freak”, don’t I (rimshot!)?

75. “Awww!  The denver broncos?!?!?!?!” (from “The Simpsons”).  Yes, this is the ONLY non-music mp3 in Mixology 2012.  Yes, every time it finally pops up?  I IMMEDIATELY SPRINT to the iPod, to make sure I can hit rewind AT LEAST 15 times to get everyone in the proper mood.  It’s arguably the best 39 seconds of television ever broadcast.  “You just don’t understand football, Marge.”

74. “Out of My Head” by Theory of a Deadman.  For personal reasons.  Offers a couple minutes to reflect and remember those who sadly are no longer with us.  And that number is growing way, way, way too damned fast for my liking.

73. “Face Down” by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.  Hey, a song about beating up your wife / girlfriend / significant other!  Who can’t get fired up by that!!!  (Actually, it’s a catchy tune.  But yeah, beating the sh*t out of your partner?  (carlito voice) that’s not cool, tito.)

72. “Anna Molly” by Incubus.  Sweet Jesus, how has Incubus not appeared yet?  That’s outrageous!  I’d call for a criminal investigation, but I’m scared what a look into my life might uncover, so let’s just move on, grateful that this awesome band finally showed up on Mixology 2012.

71. “Fooled Around and Fell in Love”, the original by Elvin Bishop.  I’ve said since the first day I met “The Kid”, that this is the personal anthem of his life.  I stand behind that statement.  (Also, it’s one of the late 1970s best efforts.  “But then I fooled around and fell in love!  I fooled around and fell in love!”)

(Plus, how great is it that a WHITE guy is named Elvin?  What's next, a Latino named Rufus?)

70. “Find Your Love” by Drake.  Whoa, a song from the last five years!  How modern of you, Stevo!  (Why thank you.  Even if it’s by a dude who starred on “Degrassi” for a few years.  No, really – Drake having a top five smash and happening career, is like Mario Lopez eclipsing Justin Bieber at this point.  It makes no sense, but you just roll with it.)

69. “Are You Ready For The Fallout” by Fastball.  Mixologist’s Choice.  Sorry, but you couldn’t be a kid attending college in Texas in the late 1990s and not love Fastball … and sorry deniers, but THIS is their best song.  “The Way” is sh*t.  THIS?  Is da bomb.

68. “Am I The Only One” by Dierks Bentley.  How the hell is Dierks just now appearing?  Wow, we are building one helluva deep field for Mixology 2012, that’s for sure.  Speaking of “am I the only one who wants to have fun tonight …”

67. “We Are Young” by Fun. (featuring Janelle Monae).  “So if by the time the bar closes, and you feel like falling down?  I’ll carry you home … TONIGHT!  We are young!  So let’s set the world on fiiiiiiii-re!  We can burn briiiiiiii-ghter!  Than the sunnnnnnnnn!”  Awesome song.

66. “Tattoos On This Town” by Jason Aldean.  Hang on, hang on – don’t throw the rotten tomatoes and other assorted rotted vegetables at me yet people!  “Hicktown” WILL be in a later pairing of 27, OK?  Fair enough?  I just like this song better.  Deal with it.  Because after all:

“There ain’t a corner of this hallowed ground,
That we ain’t laughed or cried on,
It’s where we loved, and lived learned real life stuff –
It’s everything we’re made of!

It sure left it’s mark on us!
And we sure left our mark on it!
We let the world know we were here,
With everything we did.
We laid a lot of memories down,
Like tattoos on this town!”

(That, and sweet freaking JESUS, is the girl in this video hot as holy hell …)

65. “The Remedy” by Jason Mraz.  I cannot believe this song is a decade old.  I was 25 when this bad boy came out.  I can remember head-bobbing on quarter draw night at Harpo’s to this song … in the summer of 2002.  Wow, does life fly by sometimes.

64. “Stay With Me Tonight” by Jeffrey Osborne.  Oh, late 1980s cheezy music, how I miss you!  Speaking of which:

63. “I Hate Myself For Loving You” by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.  Yes, this has been ripped off and redone as the NBC Sunday Night Football theme song.  And yes, I rip this off and come up with a Bowling Night in America theme song every Wednesday during our bowling league season (October to April.)   And yes, if I don’t get help at Charter, I should seek help somewhere …

62. “Yeah!” by Usher, featuring Lil’ Jon and Ludacris.  True story: for what I (erroneously) dubbed “Coronation Sunday”, last Sunday in March 2004, as I drove across the lovely state of Missouri to St. Louis for the KU / Georgia Tech Elite 8 game*?  Yes, this song played for like 3 ½ straight hours.  “Yeah!”  Oh, wait, KU lost essentially a home game, that they never led, needed a miraculous rally capped by a JR Giddens three to tie … so “Yeah!” might have been a bad song choice that day.  But not for Mixology 2012.

(*: the talent on the floor that day (as best I recall off the top of my head)?  Beyond sick.  For KU: Simien, Miles, Langford, Giddens, and my boy Mikey Lee, with David Padgett coming off the bench.  For Tech?  JR Crittendon, Luke Schenscher, Jarrett Jack, and some dude you might have heard of named Chris Bosh.  Every one of those players at least got a cup of coffee with a NBA team.)

61. “Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynyrd Skynyrd.  Truth be told, I HATE this song.  But a good Mixologist looks out for his fellow tailgaters.  And since everyone else and his third cousin twice removed seems to love this song, it’s a staple.

60. “Float On” by Modest Mouse.  Again, spare me the over-ripened foliage being chucked – another song (far better known, by a different band) by this same name WILL APPEAR later on!  So “we’ll all float on, ok?  we’ll all float on ok?” for now.  Deal?

59. “Mr. Telephone Man” by New Edition.  Come on, like Bobby Brown, Ralph Tresvant, Johnny Gill, and Bell Biv Freaking DeVoe WEREN’T making Mixology 2012?  I’m outraged you’d even think that!  Hell, we’ve still got at least one by Bobby Brown coming.  And sadly, his denial in said song, pretty much does not reflect my life right now.  (dusty voice) so you’re saying “Humpin’ Around” is still to appear?  (stevo voice) ya think?

58. “Everybody Wants to Rule The World” by Tears for Fears.  Wow, we’re loading up on the 80s in Part III … but screw it, it’s worth loading up on. (Plus, Mike Tollin used this as the theme song for my favorite "30 For 30" documentary, "Small Potatoes", a look back at the USFL, an idea I believe would be a smashing success if it was resurrected today.)

57. “Airplanes (Part II)” by B.o.B (featuring Hayley Williams and Eminem).  “I could really use a wish right now, a wish right now, a wish right now …”  Great song.

56. “Lido Shuffle” by Boz Skaggs.  I could be 75 and be putting this thing together telepathically … and you can bet your sweet ass this song will appear on Mixology (carry the one, add the two …) 2052.  “One for the ROOOOOOOOOOAD!  LIDO! WHOAH OH OH OH OH OH OH!  He’s for the bank, he’s for the show, Lido’s waiting for the boat!”  Come on, of COURSE a song about a degenerate drunken gambler is making Mixology 2012!  (gregg voice) only one?  (stevo voice) Come on, you know Kenny Rogers’ classic is still to appear.  It is our good luck charm for a boat ride …

Which leaves the closer for this “region” of Mixology 2012, and it’s … well, it’s pretty much grandfathered into any Mixology, uuh, mix:

55: Christ, just sing it with me:

“One toke over the line, sweet Jesus!
One toke over the line!
Sitting downtown in a railway station,
One toke over the line!

Waiting for the train that goes home, sweet Mary,
Hoping that the train is on time!
Sitting downtown in a railway station,
One toke over the line!”

-- “One Toke Over the Line” by Brewer and Shipley.  It’s my dad’s favorite song of all time.  It’s in my top ten of all time.  It's definitely one of the funnest concerts I've ever attended, even if I knew exactly one song they performed.  

And if GameDay ends with you being “one toke over the line”?  Well, there’s worse things to be.  Defeated being the primary one that's definitely worse.

Until Mixology 2012 unveils its fourth regional ... and like the NCAA (hootie johnson voice) toonumunt, keeps expanding the field until a fifth regional is inevitable ... keep the suggestions coming ...

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