Saturday, August 18, 2012

mixology 2012 version 2.0: the initial replacements

Well, we're one tailgate in, and the playlist held up pretty well.  No complaints!  A minor miracle, to say the least.

But like all great things in life, the Official Playlist is a work in progress, and so for Friday's game against the Seahawks, there will be some grizzled veterans headed to the bench, and some promising rookies taking the field.  Here's the updates that will be blasting through the speakers a week from now:

* "Gimme That" by Chris Brown.  On reflection ... the guy's a bigger f*cking tool than the "Self Proclaimed Champ".  So it's headed to the bench for ... "5-1-5-0" by Dierks Bentley.  Because after all, you have to be loco to deal with me for an afternoon at Arrowhead.

* "Beautiful Day" by U2.  Great song.  Really, really great song.  But it's preseason football, it's not a "beautiful day", it's a "held up at gunpoint for your hard-earned money" day, so this is benched until at least the Falcons game.  In its place?  Well, it is preseason, so I need something to take my mind off the fact that I'm paying full price for two seats to watch a glorified scrimmage ... so let's go old school!  "Daydream Believer" by the Monkees.

(cue "The Voice of Reason")  YES!  YES!  HELL!  FREAKING!  YES!!!  (massive fist pumps!!!!)  I KNEW you'd come through for me stevo!!!  I KNEW you'd come through!!!  (more massive fist pumps!!!!)

Hey, it's the least I could do buddy.  Plus, it's a kick ass tune.  I'm definitely looking forward to the massive sing-along this thing is gonna inspire when it pops up Friday afternoon.

Hell, why wait!  Hit it!!!

"Oh I could hide 'neath the wings
Of the bluebird as she sings.
The six o'clock alarm would never ring!

But six rings, and I rise,
Wipe the sleep out of my eyes.
My shaving razor's cold, and it stings.

(sing as you read along.  Come on, you KNOW you want to ...)

(bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah!)

Cheer up sleepy Jean!
Oh what can it mean!  To a
Daydream Believer and a
Homecoming Queen!!!

(what the hell!  once more!)

Cheer up sleep Jean!
Oh what can it mean!  To a
Daydream Believer and a
Homecoming Queen!!!

* "Working My Way Back to You Babe" by the Spinners.  Another tough benching, but come on -- how did I EVER leave it's replacement off Mixology 1.0 for 2012?  Because leaving said replacement off the initial mixology?  Is "wiggity, wiggity, wiggity whack!"

Oh hell to the yes, turn those t-shirts around backwards, flip the ballcap around, and haul out every oversized gold medallion you can find -- it's getting benched for "Jump! Jump!" by Kris Kross!!!

(cue Jasson)  OH!  HELL!  YES!!!!  (massive fist pumps!!!)  I KNEW you'd deliver dude!!!

You're welcome.  Oh, and by the way?

"Jump! Jump!
The mack dad'll make ya
Jump! Jump!
The daddy mack will make ya
Jump! Jump!
Kris Kross will make ya
Jump! Jump!"

Jesus, I can't WAIT to see how this plays out.

* "Shining Star" by the Manhattans.  Without question, THE toughest benching of the week.  But honestly?  It's too slow tempo for a tailgate.  One of the ten greatest songs ever recorded?  Absolutely.  Tailgate worthy?  Probably not.

It's replacement is a classic every person above the age of 15 should know at least the two word chorus to: "Holiday Road" by Lindsey Buckingham.  Yes, strap grandma to the back bumper like Governor Romney strapped that poodle to the roof of the family station wagon -- we're taking a vacation!!!  Plus, Uncle Eddie can do the cooking for us now, so we've got that going.

* Finally, the fifth replacement.  And technically, it's not a replacement -- it's an addition to the last spot available on Mixology 2012.  Because, quite honestly?  Not enough crappy yet loving mid 80s music on the rotation.  That?  And anyone who's ever smelled what Russ is cooking?

Gets hungry.

Yup, "Hungry Eyes" by Eric Carmen.  That seals it -- if Bleese shows up at any point this year?  Mixology 2012's gonna be on like Donkey Kong hitting the bong that may or may not be present ...

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