Thursday, August 30, 2012

the rnc night three: live ... thoughts

Hola!  And welcome to what is arguably the single most important night in our nation's history.  And no, that is not hyperbole.

Well, ok, fine, it is.  But this is certainly amongst the top five most important night's in this nation's history during my lifetime.  Governor Romney has to build on the awesome momentum that Secretary of State Rice and our nation's next Vice President gave him last night.

I'll stick with this for awhile, but I'm gonna peel away sometime in the 8pm hour, because I want to watch Romney's speech uninterrupted, and quite honestly, I'm so fired up to get to cheer for Mike Eruzione one more time that I need ten minutes to compose myself before he takes the stage.

As always, I'm logged into Yahoo! IM as teamtito15.  Feel free to comment there, or post a comment below.

Let's do this.

Jon Kyl is boring as hell.  Probably good my CSPAN feed keeps stalling.

Oh, same setup as usual -- MSNBC on the TV, CSPAN on the laptop.  Occasionally I'll flip to CNN.  I'll watch the final hour plus on ABC, which prior to Tuesday, was the last unbiased network left.  And now that they've fired their biased news dude on loan from Yahoo!, they are restored to their status as the last unbiased network left.

CSPAN replaying highlights from Ryan's speech last night.  How you lift only a section, I have no clue, that whole thing was phenomenal.  Even the lady who sits across from me (who is a huge Obama supporter), when she got there this morning, she said "he did a good job last night.  I'm finally worried (about winning)."

I think we're winning the debate!

On MSNBC: they're attacking Romney for being rich.  Unbelievable.  Actually, no, it's not, but still -- this is America for Christ's sake.  We LOVE greed!

As usual, Ed Schultz is the voice of reason on the panel.  And yes, I just used the phrase "voice of reason" to describe Ed Schultz.  When you're sitting next to Maddow, O'Donnell, Sharpton, and Hayes, with Matthews chiming in from a bar in Tampa (no, seriously -- the MSNBC set is in a bar!  Awesome!), you're by default the voice of reason.

Rachel Maddow just noted the "push back from the non-partisan press" today.  (stevo spitting out his vodka and mountain dew) WHAT?!?!?!

Chick on CSPAN noting third party candidate Gary Johnson is polling near double digits in Colorado and Nevada: "that could have an affect in a close election".  (Note to Stevo: stick more pins in Ralph Nader voodoo doll tonight ...)

In case you don't think I am DIALED into this election?  I TOTALLY forgot the Chiefs played tonight.  So I might have to flip to CBS on occasion now too.

On CSPAN: Orrin Hatch (UT) wearing a lei.  One of the funniest images of my life -- a Mormon Senator getting lei'd.

Per the schedule, Speaker Boehner gavels us in at 6:30.  Some band called Seven is doing the National Anthem.  Then Rep. Mack (FL) and a President Reagan tribute video, followed by former Speaker Gingrich.  That takes us to 7pm.

Reverend Al: "people are sitting around asking how can I keep my health insurance"  Uuh, Al?  I THOUGHT YOU GUYS FIXED THAT PROBLEM!

We're underway.

Decent Anthem.  And it looks like the joint is packed.  If I lived in the Bay area, I'd have found a way to sneak in.

I see Cardinal Dolan is giving the benediction tonight.  Uum ... ok, fine, I have my issues with the Church, so please, if you wonder why I think giving ANY Catholic minister even 2/1000ths of a podium to speak is BEYOND offensive, click here.  Rot in hell, Bishop Finn.  And the sooner, the better.

Oh God no.  "Stevo's Most Hated Band Ever" comes up, and the drunken delegate dancing begins.  If I have to hear the full song, I've Got a Feeling, That Tonight is Most Definitely NOT Gonna Be a Good Night.

We're already 5 minutes ahead of schedule.  Thank God.  I have to work tomorrow.

You gotta love a designed applause line that generates no response.  Nice job, Rep. Mack!

I really hope the RNC wasn't counting on picking up Florida to take the Senate, because there's no way this guy's beating Bill Nelson.  I'm falling asleep, and I'm only two cocktails in.

HOLY CRAP!  Stop the Presses!  The Jets!  Have!  Found!  The!  ENDZONE!!!!!  Take THAT, 1977 Falcons!

Reagan video starting.

(Stevo applauding loudly ...)  That was amazing.

Speaker Gingrich and whatever number trophy wife this is arrive on the podium.

Classy MSNBC -- they're streaming the CSPAN camera feed right now.  #lazyasf*ck

Drill!  Drill!  Drill!!!  And I say that as someone who currently doesn't operate a motor vehicle, so I'm spared the $3.76 / gallon gas.  Drill!  Drill!  Drill!!!

Looks like Jeb Bush is next, followed by Real World: Somewhere alumnus Sean Duffy (I'm thinking he was in Boston, but maybe New Orleans?), then Mitt's brother Craig.  Thank you GOP, for building in the Memorial WWE Women's Title Match for the conveniently timed bathroom break.

And yes, it is BEYOND awesome that GE Smith is back in my life.  #oldschoolsnlfan

Neat Hispanic Republicans video there.

Whoops, Craig is Romney's son, not brother.  Sorry 'bout that.

He's overwhelmed.  In his defense?  If I was introducing my father to the nation as it's next President?  I'd be overwhelmed too.  It's kind of neat to see, actually.

Hey, an ADA Branch sighting!  Or at least hearing.  Nice to hear Fred Thompson's voice.

Hey, how come none of these kids in this "I wanna be" video desire to be a 35 year old alcoholic live blogging a political convention?  (rimshot?)

OK, that's not the Sean Duffy I was expecting.  But -- I swear! -- the former "Real World" dude is a congressman from Wisconsin, and he's a Republican, and he's married to a Hispanic chick.  So yeah, I have NO clue who this Sean Duffy is.

Come on GOP, can't we haul Katherine Harris out there on stage, just to complete the raping tonight?  #stillbitterover2000

MSNBC still stealing CSPAN's feed.  Hang on, let me check CNN, maybe only one feed is working right now.  (Changing channel ...)  Well, Anderson Cooper is bloviating right now, so no clue.  But I know there's multiple feeds here for multiple networks, from flipping around last night.

And spare me the "check FOX!" crap response.  I can get behind this ticket because Obama's that awful.  But I'll be damned if I'm drinking the Kool-Aid -- I'm hopping on the truck with Congressman Ryan and praying I don't get gunned down.

(My God, the Jamestown throw-away references don't work anymore ... because a Congressman Ryan seeks to become our next Veep.  Dammit all!  Dammit all to hell!)

Stunner -- the District's schools are failing.

Oh, Sean Duffy's a teacher.  OK, now this makes sense.  Although I still with it was the former Real World dude.

Wait -- since when do Republicans launch "stem labs" that "promote science"?  I thought they opposed stem cell research, and thought women being raped can just "shut that thing down"?  I'm confused.

And yes, the fact that a certifiable f*cking IDIOT like Todd Akin is TIED with Claire McCaskill?  FRIGHTENS me.  I FLED Kansas to get away from morons like Todd Akin.  Turns out I traded in Phill Kline for something just as bad.

FYI -- I have no problem with vouchers ... so long as vouchers are only used in public education within the same district as the child lives in.  Having said that, as the son of a long-time teacher and proud NEA member?  I totally understand why the teachers oppose vouchers so much.

I'm not trying to intentionally make fun of this current speaker ... but he's coming off like a poorly played Tracy Morgan SNL character.

FYI -- this is about to get UGLY.  There is not ONE thing worth listening to or watching over the next 30 minutes -- it's Romney's fellow Church members, the band that did the Anthem, and that annoying chica from Washington who makes me understand why Elvis shot his television screen.

Stat -- flip to MSNBC!  Matthews and Schultz are having a verbal throwdown of a generation!

This is EPIC!  And Reverend Al chimes in on Matthews' side!  I swear to Christ, Ed Schultz might kill Sharpton during the next commercial break.

It's probably good Matthews and Schultz are 2,000 miles apart.

Now Rachel's mad as hell!  And poor Chris Hayes is sitting with a "f*ck no, I'm not jumping in!" look.

And now HE jumps in!

DAMMIT!  Maddow shuts this down.  Although she's making fun of it and pissing off both Schultz and Matthews.  #whyilovemaddow

We're at commercial.  If Reverend Al doesn't reappear ... uum, remember that old joke where President Bush goes to speak to a class, a kid named Stanley asks him why we invaded Iraq when there were no WMD's, then the bell for recess conveniently rings?  Kids come back, and (go figure) a kid named Steve then asks the President "why did we invade Iraq when there were no WMD's ... and also, why did the bell ring ten minutes early, and where the hell is Stanley?"  If Reverend Al isn't there when they come back from break ... uum ... why did you go to break ten minutes early, and where the hell is Reverend Al?

Maddow just explained (inadvertently) why they're using CSPAN's feed.  Makes sense.  (Namely, NBC's isn't live until 10pm ET).

Wow.  Uum, if THIS guy was the "bishop" of my church?  I wouldn't go.  Wait, I don't go now ... so what the hell, speak away!  I mean, this guy looks like a damned undertaker.  (No offense, Donnie).  This guy wouldn't know how to crack a smile if Jesus Christ of said Church of said Latter Day Saints grabbed both of his cheeks and pulled them apart.

"Pure religion is to visit the fatherless and the widows in their affliction".  Wait, I thought it was to collect kiddie porn on a computer and molest the alter boys?

Or to, I don't know, like, oh, let's say, a former pastor that was my neighbor growing up, "abscond with the Church treasury and the Church secretary two weeks before retiring".

FYI -- we have NOT seen Reverend Al since coming back from commercial.  (law and order voice) DUH DUH!

Matthews still looks steamed, for what it's worth.

WHEW!  Reverend Al sighting.  I was getting worried.

This current story on CSPAN has me tearing up.  If ANYONE doubts Mitt Romney is one HELLUVA good man, cue up the Oparowski's speech when it's available.  What a story.

The Pam Finlayson testimony for Mitt is even better.  If you've ever had someone you love born premature and have to see them in the pre-mee incubator?  Yeah.  I'm in tears right now.

"When it comes to loving your neighbor, you can live it, or you can say it.  The Romney's live it every single day".  Awesome.

I swear to God, there wasn't a dry eye in the house when Kay finished.  Nor should there be.  I have rarely been prouder to back a candidate than I am right now.

Gotta admit, this is just about done.  Up next is twenty minutes of Bain Capital background apparently.  Not that I mind -- it's just gonna be snore-inducing.

Looks like we're 40 minutes away, give or take a couple, from what's gonna rank as the highlight of this convention to me, when (in my never humble opinion) THE greatest US Olympian of all time introduces the man who saved the 2002 Olympics:

("do you believe in miracles" hbo documentary voice) "It was then that Eruzione, whose name literally means "eruption" in Italian, chose to erupt."
(ken dryden voice) "Al, the US team is relying a little too much on goalie Jim Craig right now --"
(al michaels voice) "Eruzione!  He shoots!  He scores!  Oh my Goodness!  AND NOW YOU'VE GOT BEDLAM!!!!"

There are four plays guaranteed to make me cry every time I see them: Tamarick Vanover's punt return for a touchdown against San Diego; Cory Schlesinger's game winning touchdown in the 1994 Orange Bowl; Mario Chalmers' three pointer to tie the 2008 National Title Game ... and Mike Eruzione scoring with exactly ten minutes remaining to put the US ahead for good in the greatest sports upset in history.  Christ, I'm tearing up just typing those words, "Eruzione scoring with exactly ten minutes remaining ..."

YES!  A video hammering the "You didn't build that" comment!

"You Built That!" chant breaking out as the head of Staples takes the podium.

I wonder if anyone in liberal bastion Los Angeles realizes their gorgeous arena is named after a corporation owned by Bain Capital?

And this dude is HAMMERING Barry!

And with that, I'm out for tonight.  My recap of Romney's speech coming (hopefully) tomorrow.  Until then, good night, and please -- keep getting drunker ...

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