Tuesday, August 28, 2012

the rnc night one: live ... thoughts?

Hi there.  I'll be posting my reaction to tonight's proceedings as they occur, as I always like to do for the Conventions, dating back to 2000's email chain debates.

I will probably stick with this through the 9pm ET hour, as I want to watch Mrs. Romney and Gov. Christie's speeches live, and I'll likely post a reaction / recap tomorrow on those speech.  Figure on the same applying tomorrow for live thoughts / Ryan acceptance, and Thursday for live thoughts / Romney acceptance.

FYI, I am logged into Yahoo and Yahoo IM! as teamtito15 if you have thoughts to contribute, and for the record, I am primarily watching MSNBC on the TV, and CSPAN on the computer.  After the embarrassment of FOX News talking through the national anthem earlier today, I will not be tuning into that unpatriotic, anti-American news network for even 2/1000ths of a second tonight.  (To be fair: like I would have anyways.)

Free free time chime in if you're out there, and if not, well, at least you aren't getting a 22 page email chain like twelve years ago!!!  Improvement!!!

Kudos to Andrea Mitchell for braving the convention floor.  If Sean Hannity ever had the balls to show up at a DNC ... well, it's probably for the best he doesn't.

And we're already ten minutes behind schedule.  This is going spectacularly well so far.

Sorry, had to fix a vodka and Gatorade to get through this.  I'm swallowing hard and voting Romney because of economics, nothing more, nothing less.  I continue to believe the social platform of the GOP is a disgrace to its fellow citizens, and an embarrassment to women.

Case in point: former Senator Santorum is on the speaking lineup tonight.  Disgraceful, embarrassing, Santorum.  Fine, not as catchy as "left, liberal, Granholm" or "I wanna be a Corzine Crony!" from back in the early 2000s, but it works.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please give a very warm welcome to the Speaker of the Hou --"  BOO!  BOO!

I have no idea where Boehner is going with this bar analogy.  Conservative Christians do not like people who hang out in bars.  Hence the lack of any applause or interest of this from the floor.

Although to be fair, Boehner's struggling so much, I think he visited a bar or three this afternoon.

Wait, we're kicking a guy who held a beer summit out ... and letting a teetotaler in?  I'm beyond confused, Mr. Speaker.

Somewhere, Barry just threw a beer bottle at his television if he just heard the line "President Romney".  It's my favorite underlying storyline so far in this campaign -- Barry HATES Romney with a passion.

Well, Mr. Speaker, if a two pack a day smoker with a horrendous fake tan who slurs his speech in a major broadcast speech can rise to the third most powerful person in the country, then ANYONE can rise in this nation!

Chris Matthews looks genuinely pissed on MSNBC right now, FYI.

Wow, THIS is the RNC chair?  God, he makes used car salesmen look dignified.  No offense to any used car salesmen who stumble onto this.

No offense, sir -- but you're no Terry "The Punk" McAuliffe.  He'd eat you for breakfast, and your wife for lunch.  This is UTTERLY uninspiring.

And this guy is LIT like a Christmas tree.  He has yet to get through a paragraph without sounding like your buddy slumped on your shoulder, ready to sleep off a bender.  And he's sweating profusely.  Just saying.

What a dolt -- Mr. Priebus just admitted he and his party left things in bad shape.  Somewhere, every past competent RNC chairperson is shaking their head in disgust.

I love the theme, but good grief, GOP, THIS is the most effective salesperson you've got to sell success as a good thing?

Whew, he's done.  Next up, your 2008 winner of "America's Got Talent", Neil Boyd!  (who?)

Well, in the words of my brother, "I'm proof that looks ain't everything!"  Wow, this dude is HUGE!  I mean, who let Ralphie May on the stage (rimshot!)

If Bill Cosby is up next, this will be THE greatest unintentional comedy moment of my lifetime.

Nope, but it's close -- drunken delegate dancing to crappy houseband music!!!  Currently playing is "I Want You To Want Me".  I'm telling you, drunken delegate dancing would draw AT LEAST a 5.0 / 7 share on an average Wednesday night on Bravo.  I gotta remember to do this tomorrow on my work laptop, so I can use the Snag-It function to grab these dancin' fools.  As someone who knows every manuever to "Bye Bye Bye", I love it.

Some young black chick named Mia up next ... and she's running for Congress?  Whoa!  AND SHE'S FROM UTAH!  A black person lives in Utah!  Christ, what's next, a gay person in Kansas?

AND it's an inter-racial marriage!  Hey, you can't POSSIBLY be a Republican chica -- inter-racial marriage was against the law 50 years ago, and we ALL KNOW that the "traditional definition of marriage" is not allowed to evolve in any way, shape, or form.

Sorry, I have to do it.  (joe biden voice) Here you have a clean, articulate, bright young black person ... and yes, Mr. Biden actually said those words about Mr. Obama in the 2008 campaign.

Her name is Mia Young.  I'd consider voting for her.  Wait -- she's ROCKING the pearl necklace.  Hell yes I'd vote for her.

Why didn't they open with this chica?  She is ON FIRE!

"Mr. President, I'm here to tell you we the people are awake, and we aren't buying what you're selling in 2012!"  Amen sister.  Amen.

"This is OUR story!  This is OUR America!  This is the America that we know?  Because WE BUILT IT!"  OH HELL YES!!!  Hang on, first standing applause of the night ...

Poor Ezra Klein looks like he's seen a ghost on MSNBC.  You think it's starting to sink in the public ain't buying the shit they're peddling anymore?

"God Bless America!  This is OUR TIME!  We are truly the last best hope on Earth!  Thank you!"  Tremendous speech.

Janine Turner -- yes, THAT Janine Turner -- up next.  And wow, she is drop dead gorgeous tonight.

Wow, she's ... she's a little off tonight.  And by "off", I mean "drunk".

"America is exceptional!"  Well, duh.  That's obvious to anyone not named Barry Soetero (D-Indonesia).

So wait -- did the Democrats build our massive debt ... or did Reagan and Bush II?  (Answer: both.  See, we DID build this together!)

"Democrats depend on dependents".  I liked that line.

Somewhere, you know Joe Biden is wondering where the hell he currently is.

"Principle one: God gives us our rights, not government."  (stevo sighing ...) Lady, do you not have a clue what the Enlightenment is?  Please, do yourself a favor and go read up on it.

At least she was pleasant to look at.

"Performing "I Build It", please welcome Lane Turner!!!"  WHO?!?!

"I built it, with my own two working hands / I built it, with no help from Uncle Sam".  Awesome.  The Romney ad should just run this chorus as a campaign ad.

Hang on, I'm checking to see if this is available on iTunes.  If it is, it's IMMEDIATELY added to Mixology 2012.

Some candidate for Lieutenant Governor of Delaware is up, Sher Valenzuela (sp?)  Uninspiring so far.

Damn, NOT available on iTunes yet.  Although iTunes search engine was at a crawl.

Sorry -- still here.  This has been a good speech, just not particularly quote-worthy.

FYI -- for Thursday, it's not the "to be announced" speaker I'm fired up for, it's Mike Freaking Eruzione introducing Governor Romney.  Any person who know was "USA 4, ussr 3" means, THIS is gonna be REALLY special.

Well, that's over.

OH SWEET JESUS!  OAK!  RIDGE!  BOYS!!!!  I swear to Christ, if they play "Thank God for Kids", that's it, my life is over, it's beyond complete.

"Amazing Grace".  Good enough.  And yeah, I'll join in.  Back in (chuck woolery voice) "two and two".

Kudos to CNN for carrying this live.  MSNBC is in commentary.  I refuse to tune to FOX on principle.

And ... awesome.  Even Wolf Blitzer is having an on-air orgasm over that.  (Back to MSNBC).

Cathy McMorris-Rodgers, eastern Washington's Congresswoman.  I have no idea why she's up there either.  OH WAIT, now I do.

"Each speaker is here to send three simple words to President Obama -- WE!  BUILT!  IT!"  Damn skippy we did.  Take that, you commie bastard.  (what?)

Hey -- you can question the commie part of that, but the bottom line is, he was born out of wedlock, and he's a male.  (pause).  Bastard.

Just did a quick check -- only two Gatorades left in the fridge.  Crap, knew I should have taken the early bus home.  Oh well, in any event, this wasn't going past Santorum anyways, because I'll need 15 minutes to binge, purge, shower, and purge again after his speech.

Senator Kelly Ayotte (NH)!!!  Well, she's certainly not bad.  (Drop it this soon ... yeah, why not).  I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.  Especially if my name was crackers (rimshot!)

Hey, look at those fake column thingies behind her!  Can't IMAGINE where she'd get that idea from (rimshot!)

Based on this speech so far, Romney did well to pass on her as the Veep.  Sarah Palin already had me in permanent applause mode five minutes into her speech four years ago.  And I am anything but a fan of the former Governor.

"Isn't it time we had a leader who believes creating jobs out to be celebrated, not penalized?"  Yeah, we had one ... twelve years ago.  And he was a Democrat for Christ's sake.

WHOA -- Rep. Peter King (NY) just on MSNBC with Chuck Todd, and man, that guy looks like David Glass.  And I'm not referring to Todd.

Come on chica -- that's a VERY unfair charge.  I guaran-damn-tee you Mr. Soetero ran a drug ring back in the day.  If I ran a gambling pool, I guaran-damn-tee you Barry was a low-level dealer.  So he HAS run a business.  (Albeit, like me, an illegal one.)

Jack Gilchrist up next.  A New Hampshire small business owner.

"Lead, follow, or get out of the way".  Awesome.  "Everyone who runs a business understands this -- other than our federal government ... small business needs a leader who understands the entire spectrum of business and industry ... a leader who will not avoid dealing with difficult issues".  Amen, sir.  Amen.  Too bad that man left office 24 years ago.

Gov. Kasich (OH) up next.  In the interest of full disclosure: I have ALWAYS liked this guy.

Even Chris Matthews just laughed out loud at that intro.

"Setting people free" -- I wish the RNC would hammer home on a stat heard earlier today on 980 -- there are more African American males currently incarcerated or monitored by the correctional system for drug charges?  That were in slavery in 1860.  There's something really, really wrong with that.

"We killed the death tax"!  Amen.  "No person should have to visit the undertaker and the tax man on the same day!"  Amen.  "And we need to do it in Washington as well!"  A-f*cking-men.

OK, THAT I have a problem with -- why are you piling up surplus while crippling the social safety net?  Come on Governor, you're better than that.

Sorry, had to take a phone call.  Missed Kasich's last four, five minutes.  (That's what replay at work is for.) Oklahoma's governor is up now.

I'm thinking I'll make it through Scott Walker in fifteen minutes, then skip Santorum (to keep me from being committed to a sanitarium (rimshot)!), then recap separately tomorrow Mrs. Romney and Gov. Christie.

I'm not sure what "old school" common name I miss more: Harold, or Ralph.  I still lean Ralph ... but Harold's pretty cool.

Reverend Al just went off on "cheap politics to gain an edge".  Uum, do I shout it?  (pause) TAWANA BRAWLEY!!!

Was it REALLY just eight years ago Tom Brokaw, Tim Russert, Brian Williams, and (yes, swear to God, this is true) Rush Limbaugh co-hosted NBC's coverage of Election Night 2004?  NBC News now?  Rachel Maddow, Ed Schultz, Lawrence O'Donnell, Reverend Al, some geeky dude in glasses that isn't Ezra Klein, and Ezra Klein (who, I actually like).  How do you sink so low, so fast?

The GOOD thing about hammering home the "we built this!" theme?  Is that Barry now HAS to waste a night "answering" the charge.

Gov. McDonnell (VA) up next.  "We'll actually have a vice president who knows what state he's in".  ZZZZZZZZZING!

I ask this with all seriousness -- why do Republicans tout immigration at all?  Apparently as long as you aren't olive skinned, you're welcome to come over here.

"Too many of us are looking for work, because this President's policies haven't worked".  Good line.

"The EPA is the Employment Prevention Agency".  Another good line.  Although nobody on the floor is paying attention.  (pause) OH GREAT, so THIS is the throw-away Big Show / Test / Kane "hit the pisser, it's cool, we built this 10 minutes into the program" portion of the evening.

Ask Kansans if their budget shortfalls were met "without raising taxes", sir.  (cough) LIAR! (cough)

God bless it sir, it's not your "fiscal policies" I take issue with.  I wish to God you and your ilk felt the same about the social agenda (aka "keep the f*ck out of my life!") as you do with the "fiscal agenda".  Sir.

Overall, not a bad speech.  I thought Governor McDonnell had a little Bill Clinton in him.

And next up ... is Bev Gray, a business owner from Virginia.  MSNBC WISELY switches to an interview with Rachel Maddow and some black chica contributor.

OK, fine, I get the point of the night, and I COMPLETELY agree with it -- but for Christ's sake, this is the REPUBLICAN National Convention, not the Democrat.  Why the soup line / unemployment / sad sack stories that run on for fifteen minutes too long ... and that was thirty minutes before they began?

At the risk of taking too many personal liberties here, Mrs. Gray does NOT look like a woman who went "nine months without a paycheck".

Kimmie Candy -- BUY IT.  Because their owner BUILT IT.  Damn skippy!

Governor Walker up next!  In a sane world, he's the nominee.  Then again, in a sane world, Hillary's running for re-election, coming off twenty unchecked years of Democrat rule.

I give MSNBC 2 seconds to dump out of this live speech.

About 500 feet from Gov. Walker, Ed Schultz is ranting like a crazy dude.  In his defense?  He should be.

"Elections have consequences."  Yup.  Yup, they do Governor.

"People, not governments, create jobs".  Yes, yes they do sir.

Sadly, Governor Walker, the generation thinking more of their children than themselves ... ended with my folks generation.  Thankfully for this country, people my age will make the sacrifices our parents are too selfish to make, and save this country.  You greedy folks that are the "Lamest Generation", the "Baby Boomers", who have BANKRUPTED this nation through your reckless greed and spending?

You're welcome.

I plan to post my react's to Mrs. Romney and Gov. Christie's speeches before tomorrow night, and will pick up again sometime around 6pm CT tomorrow, which I think is the biggest night of the convention.  Rep. Ryan HAS to make the case for WHY we need entitlement reform.  People my age, get it.  People my grandparents age, get it.

Unfortunately, people in the 40-65 demographic, are too self-centered and clueless to "get it".  And go figure, they represent damned near every Obama voter we have to overcome in 70 days from today ...

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