quick week six nfl picks

"You started to write;
It was subtle at first,
But the danger?
Was clearly in sight.

I don't reply,
Due to lack of an ego,
And laziness?
Cuts like a knife.

You say that you're good.
Had a baby with biker,
And named him
Forest Whitaker.

I'm laying low,
On the probable chance
You convince me?
To give him a home.

I know you hate me too.
Always say you do!

I know that you hate me too!
Always say you do! ..."

-- "Forest Whitaker" by Bad Books.

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Last Week ATS: 5-9-1.
Season to Date ATS: 33-41-2.

Last Week SU: 8-7-0.
Season to Date ATS: 43-33-0.

Last Week "Screw You Pete King" Upset / Week: dios con mio.
Season to Date U/W ATS: 2-3-0.
Season to Date U/W SU: 2-3-0.
This Week's "Screw You Pete King" Upset / Week: Bears (+3) over Falcons.

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This is gonna be a quick one.  The Chiefs are on the bye, and I'm so furious at a development at work that I literally shouted "(Bleep!) Him!" before storming out the door 75 minutes early Friday afternoon (that'll get dealt with Monday, assuming I show up).  I'm emotionally drained from yet another weekend of "Holy (Bleeping!) (Bleep!) Batman!" excitement that is Royals postseason baseball, and I'm spending Sunday with relatives who came up from Dallas to celebrate the one year and counting God has given us with my dad, that none of us thought we'd get, one year ago this past week.

I'll do better next week.  Promise.

The Picks:

* at Texans (+2 1/2) 33, Colts 24.  We're off to a rip-roaring successful start.

* at Browns (-1) 27, Steelers 24.  Could have gigantic wildcard ramifications come December.

* Jaguars (+4) 13, at Titans 3.  "Gordon Shumway Game O' The Week!"

* Bears (+3) 31, at Falcons 21.  Another one with potentially giant wildcard ramifications.  Also, I like the word "ramifications".

* Packers (-2 1/2) 41, at Dolphins 13.  Mammals should have poop canned Joe "Regis" Philbin last week.  It's gonna be a long march to the end of the season, Dolphins fans.  A long, twelve week beatdown of a march.

* at Vikings (-2 1/2) 31, Lions 28.  Despite last Thursday's debacle, the Vikings are favored over the Lions.  And the only surprise to me is that the line is less than three.  Jim Caldwell everyone!  Also, "Webster Game O' The Week!"

* at Bengals (-7) 41, "Sex" Panthers 17.  If the Bengals are legitimate Super Bowl threats, they win this game big.  Especially coming off the demolition derby that was Sunday Night in Foxboro.

* at Bills (+2 1/2) 31, Patriots 28.  Smells like an overtime finish.

* at Bucs (+3 1/2) 34, Ravens 31.  Smells like another overtime finish.  Every Bucs game -- save for the debacle in Atlanta -- has come down to the final possession.  Add this one to the list.

* "Super" Chargers (-7) 34, at raiders 0.  I refuse to subject you to two straight weeks of "Worst Sitcom Ever Game O' The Week!" status ... but this one came damned close to making me do it.  (Pause).  (Pause).  Yeah, I'll let it pass.  But man, this one is gonna be ugly.

* at Seahawks 35, Cowboys (+8 1/2) 31.  Dallas is better than I expected.  Seattle is not as impressive as I expected.  Should be a great one.

* at "Super" Cardinals (-3 1/2) 33, Redskins 20.  Cards sit at 3-1 after last week's disappointing effort at fake mile high.  Their next six: vs Wash / at oak / vs Phil / at Dal / vs StL / vs Det.  There's a damned decent chance they'll be 8-2 at worst, when Seattle rolls into Glendale on November 23rd.

* at Eagles (-2 1/2) 34, Giants 20.  The Giants wins are against Houston and Atlanta at home, and Washington on the road.  Come on.  This one isn't going to be close.

* at Rams (+3) 38, 49ers 21.  Rams have back-to-back home games against San Fran and Seattle.  The opportunity to save the season is there (before a three game roadie at KC / at SF / at Arz that'll end it).  They'll get the first one.

And finally, your "Good Times Game O' The Week!" is ...

* broncos (-9 1/2) 70, at Jets 2.  The NFL record for most points scored in a game, is 74, and the record for margin of victory is 73.  Both are in serious jeopardy this afternoon at the Fake Meadowlands.

Enjoy your Sunday everyone!  Until next time, all you Royals fans out there, just keep remembering the classic punchline from "Sandcastles In The Sand":

"It was the greatest week and a half?  Of my life!"

And the next week and a half?  Is going to somehow top this one ...