We'll see him (again) Sunday at approximately 1:57pm CT folks. Holy hell! #goosebumps Although I wish it was Melissa Etheridge, David Cook, or (most especially) Patti DiParto-Livergood. In the words of Sammy Sosa: "God Bless America! What a beautiful country!"
(Pause).
And actually, that's today's nominee for the drum leader / spiritual advisor to open Sunday: Patti DiParto-Livergood. Jesus, she's an even better choice than Marty (yesterday's (unworkable) selection), if we're being honest here, given that it's her father's Spirit Award every opening Chop honors ...
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Five days out, and time for some lies, damned lies, and statisticals, mostly via espn.com's box score ...
* Deshaun Watson became the first quarterback in NFL history to throw for over 350 yards, account for at least three TD's, not turn the ball over, and lose a playoff game while leading by at least three scores at some point. Poor guy.
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* The Chiefs ran sixty two total plays, not counting extra points. (I am counting four punts -- one blocked -- and one field goal try (which was good).) Sixty two plays.
So let's start narrowing down, to try to note just how epic this avalanche of points was, on Sunday afternoon.
* Sixty two minus four punts equals fifty eight.
* Fifty eight minus three kneel downs to end the game, equals fifty five.
* The Chiefs had a four and out on their next to last drive (counting the punt), so fifty five minus three (we already erased the punt above), gives us fifty two.
* The Chiefs ran twelve plays before their first score. Fifty two minus twelve, is (mike gundy voice) forty!
In forty plays, the Chiefs scored fifty one points. They averaged over a point a play! And if that isn't insane enough?
* The Chiefs had one first down before their first touchdown (twelve plays, as noted above), and none after the final score, the field goal (seven plays). That's nineteen of the sixty two, so that leaves 43 meaningful plays, for better or for worse.
Care to guess how many of those 43 plays resulted in a touchdown and/or field goal?
Well duh, you already know that -- eight.
That takes us down to 35 plays.
Care to guess of those 35 plays that did not result in a punt, score, or "fell outside the scoring range", resulted in a first down for Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs"?
(Warning: sit down, people. You're going to want to sit down.)
Ready?
Twenty Eight.
In the 43 most important plays of the game -- none of which saw the Chiefs turn it over or punt, all 43 of which contributed to scoring fifty one points and winning by twenty -- in the 43 most important plays of the game?
36 of them were either a first down, or a score.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is un-f*cking-believable.
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* The Chiefs longest drive of the game occurred before the half. It lasted eight plays. It ended with one of the greatest shovel passes of all time, Mr. Mahomes to Mr. Kelce to give the Chiefs the lead.
* And as noted yesterday across multiple platforms? No team in NFL history had ever trailed by twenty one
* A statistical in praise of the Titans actually -- in the last three weeks, they have (a) beaten the AFC South champ on the road, to clinch a Wild Card berth, (b) beaten the AFC East champ on the road, to win the Wild Card Game, and (c) beaten the AFC Norris champ on the road, to reach the Conference Championship. If they win on Sunday, they will (I believe) become the first team in NFL history to beat all four divisional champions on the road, in a "win or go home" mode (aka "the playoffs ... or Week Seventeen also").
Whatever happens Sunday, give the Titans all the credit in the world. What they have done to arrive at Arrowhead is nothing short of unbelievable. If you had told me leaving Nashville three months ago that I had just left an AFC Title Game preview? I'd have laughed you all the way back to Broadway. (pink voice) Who knew?
* Finally, I took Cousin Chase to the aeropuerto on Monday. My adopted cousin is a huge Giants fan. As I tried to convey what this week -- and last year at this time -- mean to me, and my Chiefs family, the only thing I could note is this. Chase was 9 when the Giants made the Super Bowl against the Ravens. Which would make him 17 and 21 when the Giants won the Super Bowl against the Patriots.
His team had accomplished more at age nine, than mine had until age 42 for me. His team has made three Super Bowls in his lifetime (and counting); this is the greatest shot mine has had, to just make it one, let alone win it twice like the Giants have in this century.
I pray every Chiefs fan going Sunday, or just watching somewhere on Sunday, understands how massive this game is.
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As for the Tuesday Updates?
I honestly have very few.
* The menu is still TBD. We kind of blew our load prematurely (shaddup!) with Texans Tenderloin. (We usually do Titan Tenderloin.) I'm personally rooting for Titan Tacos, because Jesus, what could be easier than throwing some taco meat in a crock pot, throwing a few tortillas on the grill, and load up some Tupperware bowls with lettuce, 'maters, cheese, and cilantro? But we'll see. I guarantee you I'll get outvoted. Which to be fair, is probably a good thing; I'm the dumb ass who thought a baked potato bar was a great idea back for the Steelers in 2015. That ... did not go over well.
* My buddy Andrew gets in sometime Friday night, weather willing. He's bringing his roomie Brock with him (which is cool; I like the guy), plus "some Titans reinforcements". ((norm macdonald voice) Note to self: buy additional Kingdom Ale's and Banquet's for Sunday.)
* "Jersey" Bob is apparently choking down the $2,000 plus flight to make it. (I assume he's on the hook for "Cousin" Chase and wherever the hell Pat fits into the equation.)
As I noted going home Sunday, it would have been cheaper to just re-rent his room at the InterContinental for a week and stay here, than fly home and come back. Should have listened I guess. Anyways, hope he makes it; the Chiefs are now 6-0 in the "Fat" Andy Reid era at Arrowhead, when that guy is there.
* The Bus departure time is also TBD. There is no way in hell the Chiefs can hold off opening the gates until 9am. (They couldn't make it to 8am on Sunday.) Plus, as I've already noted at work: "there's no way I'm sleeping Saturday night, and there's no way I'll be sober before noon on Wednesday, win or lose". Thank God Monday is a holiday.
If I was to set an over/under five days out, I'd set it at 5am, and I'm sadly not joking about that. I'm bringing my comforter with me for a nap, if need be.
* The current forecast for Sunday is 30 and cloudy at kickoff. Beats the hell out of last year's Conference Title Game kickoff of barely four and misty, with a windchill well below freezing.
Finally ...
* FOX4 locally here in KC is replaying arguably the greatest Chiefs victory of our lifetimes (until Sunday), the Monday Night comeback at Real Mile High on October 17, 1994. If you weren't old enough to have lived it (hello @chasingsnyder), or haven't seen it in a while? Plan to tune in, if not record it. The last fifteen minutes are so f*cking amazing. It is EVERYTHING you could want in a football game. Seriously. In the last four minutes on the clock ...
* The Chiefs score to go up 24-21 with barely four to play.
* The Chiefs get the ball back, via a those people fumble on the first play after the kickoff at the (I believe) 4:02 mark. (Note: this is when I stormed out of my buddy Jasson's house, and headed home, as once detailed in my favorite post I've ever, uuh, posted.)
* Those people get the ball back, via a Marcus Allen fumble on the next play.
* A couple plays later, the antichrist scores a touchdown with 1:32 to play ... with only ten those people on the field. Dave Adolph Defense everyone!!!!!
(Note: Mr. Adolph was fired after the 1994 season -- deservedly so. How the hell do you let a team with ten men on the field, trying to call a timeout to remedy that debacle, on (I believe) a 4th down to boot, to score on a QB draw up the center, untouched? I should also note, this is about the moment I got home from Jasson's, to enter the house hearing even my mom cursing. You know it's a Bret Hart-style screwjob, when my mom is dropping simple "dammit!" blasts. You also know it's an epic, franchise-altering game, when my mom is awake at 11:15pm on a school night ... and has nothing to say about my still being up, doing the same thing. I was a senior in high school in 1994; she was still twelve years away from retiring after teaching sixth grade for pushing forty years. #goodtimes)
* And then, "The Drive", at least for us Chiefs fans:
So many classic one liners. "How's it feel, john?", as Dan Dierdorf openly mocked the antichrist standing helpless on the sideline. "Lord you can take me now, I have seen it all!" "Aah! Poor Wade (Phillips)! His team did everything ... but win!"
For those of you who don't understand my irrational love of Dan Dierdorf? Tune in Saturday night around 8:30pm CT on FOX4KC, and watch the last twenty, thirty minutes, of Dan Dierdorf openly rooting for the Chiefs in the broadcast booth.
I'm not sure what's coming tomorrow -- hopefully a finished recap of Sunday! -- but you'll get something. (nsync voice) This I promise? You ...
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