the catalyst

"What is happening here?
Something's going on, and it's not quite clear.
Somebody turn on the lights --
We're gonna have a party, starting tonight!

Oh!  What a feeling!
When we're dancing on the ceiling!
Oh!  What a feeling!
When we're dancing on the ceiling!

The room is hot, and that's cool!
Some of my friends came by from the neighborhood.
People are starting to climb the walls;
Ooh!  It looks like everybody's?  Having a ball!

Oh!  What a feeling!
When we're dancing on the ceiling!
Oh!  What a feeling!
When we're dancing on the ceiling!

Oh!  Oh, what a feeling!
When we're dancing on the ceiling!
Oh!  What a feeling!
When we're dancing on the ceiling!

Everybody starts to lose control when the music is right!
If you see somebody hanging around, don't get uptight.
The only thing we want to do tonight?
Is go round and round, until we're upside down!

Come on -- let's get down!

So come on!  Let's get loose!
Don't hold back, 'cause it ain't no use!
It's hard to keep your feet on the ground --
'Cause when we want to party?

We only want to get down!!!!

Oh!  What a feeling!
When we're dancing on the ceiling!
Oh!  What a feeling!
When we're dancing on the ceiling!

Oh!  What a feeling baby!
When we're dancing on the ceiling!
Oh!  What a feeling!
When we're dancing on the ceiling! ..."

-- "Dancing On The Ceiling" by Lionel Richie.

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I believe, via a quick check of the archives and searches available on this site, that "Dancing on the Ceiling" has never been used as the theme to a post before.  I know it has not been since "Fat" Andy Reid arrived on January 4, 2013.

And the reason for that is simple.  "Dancing on the Ceiling" is my tailgating group's victory song.  Sh*t, our raiders friends up north have adopted it as their victory song too.  (Although they get to play it far, far less, than we Chiefs fans do.  Suck it, raider fans.)

I refused to use this song as a theme to celebrate a win -- at least in the "Fat" Andy Reid era -- until the ultimate victory was accomplished.

Accomplished it was, Sunday, February 2, (barbara walters voice) 2020.

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I still have no words, though I'm going to try, via a series of posts over the ensuing ten, eleven, twelve days, weeks, months, years, whatever, to express nine words I never thought would be true.

The Kansas City Chiefs are The Super Bowl Champions!

I feel as stunned as Miss Pittypat in "Gone With the Wind", as General Sherman's (captain butler voice) "calling cards" began to rain down on Atlanta: "Yankees in Georgia!  How did they ever get here!"

I'm with you ma'am, and please pass the Gunther Cunningham approved smelling salts to boot.

The Chiefs!  Super Bowl Champions! 

How did we ever get here!

Well, we got here through a lot of means: a lot of players, a lot of coaches, a lot of skill, a lot of training, a lot of luck, one franchise-altering draft pick, a bunch of other solid draft picks, one amazing trade, a few great complimentary trades, two awesome free agent signings, one lucky practice squad pickup, one prescient general manager firing, one prescient general manager promotion, and oh yeah:

One game, that for better and far greater, not only arguably saved the "Fat" Andy Reid era ... it is the undeniable catalyst for every damned thing that has happened, since kickoff that day, five seasons ago.

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I don't gamble nearly as much as I used to (which is a really, really good thing -- most of y'all have no idea how severe and crippling a gambling addiction like I have, can be to you).  But on those rare times when I do hit up a "boat in a moat", I tend to play either pai gow or blackjack.

With pai gow * , there is really no ebb or flow, no rhythm to speak of.  Every hand is unique to itself, and nothing you do with your hand affects anyone at the table other than you.  (Unless you hit the fortune bonus, but that only benefits everyone at the table, not hurts, so let's move on with this already labored analogy.)

(*: also a plus for pai gow: you lose a lot more slowly than with other table games ... so if you're on a budget and your buddies aren't, that's the way to go.  Plus, again - no matter what the dumb f*ck moron next to you does with his cards, it has no impact on yours in a negative way.  He can only help you via the fortune bonus, not screw you like with ... well, next paragraph, please.)

But with blackjack, every decision, every hit or stand, every double down, everything you do, affects everyone else at the table, and not just on the hand you're playing, but every hand still to come in the remaining cards.  One tiny mistake by any of the five, six, or seven players, can literally ruin an evening in a moment's notice.  It can turn a night of fun into a night of misery.  Simply because someone failed to play one hand right.

(Conversely, one decision can turn a night of misery, into "The Comeback".  Funny how cards can work sometimes.)

Let me give you an example.  Let's say you're me, on a typical excursion to Ameristar.  I usually bring $500 with me, usually play $25 / hand, and go until either (a) I've lost my $500, (b) hit my desired winning amount (usually $1,000), or (c) am so p*ssed off at the table's incompetence I decide it's better to spend what money I have left, at AmeriSports chugging beers and eating wings.

(This sadly happens way, way, way too much.  Seriously, KC gamblers: know what the f*ck you're doing before you sit down at a $25 minimum table, please.  I play the higher minimum for a reason: to avoid dumb f*ck idiots like you!)

Anyways, let's say I'm already in for $300, have won a couple hands in a row to begin to recover, and have upped my bet to $100 to try to break even.  And I'm dealt a pair of eights, against an king.

That ... that is not a good situation to be in, my friends.  Because the right and correct call is to split those eights, even knowing you're probably screwing yourself into doubling your loss in the moment.  (Eighteen -- or nineteen, your two most probable outcomes -- does not beat a twenty, which you assume you are facing.)

And yet, I'll always pull the additional hundred out, to split those eights.  Why?  Because there's the rest of the deck to deal with.  You screw up that one moment, it might save you $100 right off the bat.  And then, ten minutes later, you're wondering how the hell you lost $400 on the shoe, and heading to either the bar, the ATM, or both, to get your head together again, at how fast it all went wrong.

One minor decision that is defensible, and not necessarily wrong, can throw everything into abject chaos you never see coming.  That's the beauty of blackjack.  (And the reason why casinos will never, ever, ever stop offering it as a table game.  They count on that one minor decision at least once an hour at each table ... because they know it'll turn the table into the house's favor nine times out of ten.)

I mention this, because sometimes in sports, an administration's reign -- be it the front office, the coaching staff, the primary players, even ownership -- hinges on one game, and sometimes one decision inside of that game.

(Don't believe me?  Ask yourself this: if Salvador Perez doesn't line that miracle grounder past Josh Donaldson in the bottom of the 12th inning at 11:53pm on Tuesday, September 30, 2014, is Dayton Moore still the Royals GM?  Would Ned Yost have been allowed to leave on his own terms?  Would David Glass have signed off on blowing the budget out the door to bring in Johnny Cueto and Ben Zobrist to put the Royals over the top in 2015?)

And for the Chiefs?  I'd argue if one game -- just one simple game that at the time nobody paid much attention to -- does not occur the way it did?

Then NOTHING after it goes the way it has.

And given that the Chiefs are 61-22-0 (counting playoffs) with five playoff berths, five double digit win seasons, four division titles, four playoff wins, two AFC Title Game appearances, and a Super Bowl victory since that game four and a half seasons ago?  To say nothing of the fact that in the ensuing four seasons, they have never slipped below .500 for even a game?  (The Chiefs have opened at least 4-0 every season since 2015, and have never slipped below 6-6 as a low mark in any of those four seasons.)

Yeah.  This game is definitely ... "The Catalyst".

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God knows -- and this is a very good thing! -- that there are dozens of great regular season games to pick from, as either your favorite or most important, of "Fat" Andy's seven year reign atop (and damn, I still despise this term) the Chiefs Kingdom.

Which is why my choice may be a bit of a stunner ... but in hindsight, it's like laying down that Benjamin, to cover splitting those eights -- a questionable, yet absolutely, right call.

I mention all of this, because as dawn broke on Sunday, October 25, 2015, most Chiefs fans -- ok, at least this one -- felt like a player emerging from an all-night "chasing your money" cession at Ameristar, wondering how in the hell a few questionable decisions had destroyed a promising adventure, a promising season now gone horribly wrong.

Which is why my choice for the most important regular season game "Fat" Andy has presided over as the Chiefs grand poobah -- "The Catalyst", if you will -- is the Steelers game, from Week Seven 2015.

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There's really no need to sugar coat how god awful the 2015 season began as.  After holding on for a win in Houston to open the season, the Chiefs nearly destroyed their relationship with their fanbase in the home opener, a game that saw those people score fourteen points in a seventeen second span, late in the fourth quarter.  Then there was a blowout at Green Bay, a no-touchdown game in The Jungle, the end of Jamaal Charles' career for all intents and purposes in a collapse against the Bears, and a loss at the Vikings by six, to fall to 1-5.

To truly put into perspective how big a hole 1-5 was?

I believe I remember reading that two teams in NFL history had been five or more games below .500 in a season, and rallied to reach the playoffs.  Only three others have been four games under, and rallied to make it.  To say the Chiefs odds of changing that figure from three to four (or, with the probable defeat to the Steelers upcoming that Sunday, to change the two to three, at five games under .500) were long, is an grouse understatement.

Or to put it in terms even the mentally challenged amongst us (hey, that's me!) can understand:

Given the Chiefs history against the Steelers (note: not good), the fact the Chiefs were entering on a five game losing streak, and half of the city had checked out on the season given the Royals World Series run?

There wasn't much reason to believe that this game would have the impact it ultimately has.

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I remember three distinct things about Tailgating that day.  First, it was a perfect Danny Darrell Weather Day: low 70s, not a cloud in the sky.  Second, I was in charge of the menu, and decided to try something different, a baked potato bar.  Let's just say, that went over about as well as offering water to a patron at Coyote Ugly. 

(I suppose this is where I note, we have never served a baked potato since, and we usually do steak at least once a season.  Only mashed potatoes or hash browns or anything other than a baked potato since.  The lesson?  Damned if I know.  I thought they were pretty good.)

And third, my actual parents came to this game.  I still have the picture up in my cubicle at work of the three of us.  My dad's health makes him coming out to a game and standing / cheering / imbibing for seven, eight hours a virtual impossibility anymore, but they were there.  (So maybe they were the catalysts?)

Oh, yeah -- and I remember the brief shot of hope as we were breaking down the tailgate, when my buddy Tyler came up and showed me the inactives, and I saw that Ben was out.  In the words of Lloyd Christmas: "so you're saying there's a chance!"

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To state the obvious, yes -- yes, the Chiefs lucked out in that Ben was out with (al michaels voice) a knee, and we drew Landry Jones instead.  Still, give the 1-5 Chiefs credit: they never, for one second of time, trailed the Steelers on that day.

The first half was a battle of four field goals; the Chiefs nailed three of them, to lead 9-3 at the half.  A quick look at Pro Football Reference's boxscore notes all three Cairo Santos' efforts were from thirty yards and in.  That ... that is brutal.  To say the Chiefs red zone offense in 2015 was an affront to quality football, is like saying I'm an affront to sobriety.  It just is.

The Chiefs forced (mike gundy voice) four! turnovers that day -- three interceptions, and a forced fumble of Landry Jones with the game on the line, that led to the game securing touchdown, to give the Chiefs a 23-13 victory.

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In the moment, the 3rd and 1 handoff to Charcandrick West that picked up the first down with barely a minute to play, to seal the victory, seemed like a sole bright spot in a hyped season gone horribly, horribly wrong.  (Note: as Chiefs fans, we're used to those.  #1994  #1996  #1998  #2004  #2011  #2014)

And yes, the 23-13 victory still left the Chiefs at 2-5, three games shy of playoff contention at the season's virtual midpoint.

From there however, things took off.  As in, the Chiefs didn't lose again until the Divisional Round of the playoffs, stringing together ten more straight wins, including the franchise's first playoff win since ... well, since their last playoff game played in Houston, twenty two years earlier.

More importantly, that victory was the springboard for everything in the four seasons since. 

The Chiefs have won at least ten games every season over the last five years.  After coming up one game short of the AFC West championship in 2015?  They've won the division four straight times.  The Chiefs have played seven playoff games since the 2015 season ended a touchdown short in Foxboro.  Six of those seven have been played at Arrowhead; the only playoff game not played at Arrowhead, was Super Bowl LIV.

A lot of moves, luck, skill, and planning has to go into turning the worst franchise in the NFL after the 2012 season, into its' champion in less than a decade. 

And it's the little things people tend to ignore, that in hindsight shine through brightest of all. 

I would argue that no regular season game was more important to the ultimate success of this season, than this one.

(Also of note?  Prior to this game, the Chiefs were 11-7 at home, and 21-18 overall (including playoffs) under "Fat" Andy.  Post this game?  The Chiefs are 33-8 at home, and 61-22 overall (including playoffs) under "Fat" Andy.  That's ... (fran tarkenton voice) That's Incredible!)

You can argue there were more important games on the March to Miami.  And I wouldn't disagree with you.  You can argue there were funner games on the March to Miami.  And again -- I wouldn't disagree with you.

But you can't argue there was a game that packed more of an impact on that march, than beating the Steelers in Week Seven, 2015. 

On this, I know I'm right ...