She was hanging on Johnny; he was holding on tight.
I could feel her coming from a mile away.
There was no use talking; there was nothing to say
When the band began to play, and play ...
And we danced!
Like a wave on the ocean!
Romanced!
We were liars in love!
And we danced!
Swept away for a moment by chance!
Yeah we danced
And danced and danced! ...
I met my be-bop baby at the Union Hall.
She could dance all night; shake the paint of the walls!
But when I saw her smile across the crowded room?
I knew we'd have to leave the party soon!
As the band began to play out of tune ...
And we danced!
Like a wave on the ocean!
Romanced!
We were liars in love!
And we danced!
Swept away for a moment by chance!
Yeah we danced
And danced and danced! ...
The endless beat; she's walking my way.
Hear the music fade; then she says
Are we getting too close?
Do we dare to get closer?
The room is spinning as she whispers my name ...
And we danced!
Like a wave on the ocean!
Romanced!
We were liars in love!
And we danced!
Swept away for a moment by chance!
Yeah we danced
And danced and danced! ...
-- "And We Danced" by The Hooters. Hell yes boys and girls, there was a band named The Hooters back in the day ...
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Sadly, this
So, in case you've forgotten and/or wondered how we've gotten to this point in the Chiefs Bracketology (The Race to Crown My Favorite Game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era), here's some handy dandy links to get you caught up:
* The Thirty One Automatic Bids.
* The Thirty Seven At Large Bids.
* Bracketology.
* From Sixty Eight to Sixteen on the Left Side.
* From Sixty Eight to Sixteen on the Right Side.
And now ... from Sweet Sixteen to Final Fo'. Fo' sho'!
--------------------
In case if you've forgotten, here is where the Chiefs Bracketology (The Race to Crown My Favorite Game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era) stands entering the Sweet Sixteen matchups:
And to refresh -- we started with 122 games that count (2013-2019 regular and post season contests). We narrowed 122 down to 68 via auto-bids and at-large qualifiers. We narrowed 68 down to 42 on Day One; we narrowed 42 down to 16 on Day Two.
106 games down. 12 more will be eliminated today. And come this time tomorrow, three more will (queen voice) bite the dust, to leave us my personal (possibly) undisputed favorite game, of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era.
You might want to pour a stiff cocktail or at least a Bud Light Seltzer, for today's thinning of the chaff. Because there are some tough, tough calls that have to be made. (Pause). Hang on, let me take my own advice.
(stevo going to his freezer)
(stevo grabbing his handle of windsor)
(stevo grabbing his two liter of dr. pepper)
Let's begin.
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The Sweet Sixteen.
raiders / those people Regional.
* 1 at those people Week 4 2018 over 4 vs raiders Week 14 2016. I think even Mr. Hill would agree that a left handed throw on 3rd and long (caught by Mr. Hill) for a crucial conversion that led to the game winning touchdown, at fake mile high, against my most hated divisional rival (a team I despise so much, I won't even refer to them by name at this point, and haven't in over three years),
I think even Mr. Hill would agree that Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" left handed chuck tops his punt return. And considering those are the two plays fueling why these two games reached the Sweet Sixteen, that determines your winner.
(That, and again -- that 2018 contest was the first time I had ever walked out of fake mile high having seen my team win. The lesson? That sometimes, your first time is something special, kids.)
* 6 vs those people Week 15 2019 over 2 vs raiders Week 17 2015. Remember peoples and peepettes, this is not a contest to determine the best Chiefs game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era. It is a contest to determine my favorite game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era. If best was the criteria? The two seed here advances. If important was the criteria? Tougher call, as neither game really changed the Chiefs ultimate outcome in 2015 or 2019, but the two seed was probably more important, as the 2015 Chiefs still had a chance at the AFC's top seed and a division championship, while the 2019 Chiefs had already won the West at that point, and needed a miracle to get a bye. (A miracle they thankfully got.)
Favorite? Again, a tough call. My 39th birthday bash (and the epic tailgate that went along with it) against one of the funnest game I've ever had the privilege to attend. Playing in the snow was just too much damned fun in the end. Thus, the upset pick.
Potpourri Regional.
* 4 vs "Super" Chargers Week 1 2016 over 8 at Texans Wild Card Playoff 2015. This honestly might be the toughest matchup to choose a winner in so far. (And in case you doubt me? Two of the five longest posts on this site (word-wise), were recapping these two contests: the Texans recap here, the "Super" Chargers recap here.)
In the end, again, it comes down to my personal preference. I was at both games. I enjoyed the hell out of both games. I just enjoyed what was prior to two months ago, the greatest comeback in franchise history, a little more than I enjoyed seeing Brian Hoyer tossed around like a dog's squeaky-squeaky toy by the Chiefense.
(dude in "hoosiers" voice) "Super" Chargers stay.
(Personal note: I have always freaking loved that Jimmy gives the ball to Ollie. I have always loved that moment more than damned near any other moment in the movie. Respecting the last man on the roster, irregardless of what anyone else on the roster thinks of it. I guaran-damn-tee you, the reason Ollie hit both free throws, was because of that confidence builder. Also, I love "Hoosiers" irrationally. (Pause). What? (Pause). Well duh -- Ollie so got laid that night.)
* 3 vs Jets Week 3 2016 over 2 vs Ravens Week 14 2018. The Ravens game had one great play we'll all always remember: 4th and 9. The Jets game had at least three plays I still vividly recall off the top of my head: Demetrius Harris' fumble return on a kickoff for a touchdown, Marcus Peters' interception (I forget which end zone it was in, west or east ... pretty sure it was east, 'cause I sit in the west, and I'd probably remember that more clearly if it occurred in front of me) ... and Derrick Johnson being literally drug into the end zone by Mr. Peters, after his interception to score the game's final points. That Jets game was a clinic on how to play defense in this league -- 8 turnovers, 2 punts, only three points allowed. Just a remarkable game all around. It's more than earned its' spot in the Elite Eight * .
(*: believe me -- when we get to the raiders / those people Regional Final? Every f*cking word in the paragraph above, is going to be exposed as either (a) rank, stank hypocrisy by me, or (b) rank, stank hypocrisy by me. It's your call, how you interpret my (barack obama voice) "evolved position on the issue".)
All NFC Regional.
* 1 vs 49ers Super Bowl LIV 2019 over 4 at "Shane" Falcons Week 13 2016. As thrilling (and career-capping) of a performance as the game at the "Shane" Falcons was for Eric Berry ... come on. It's the damned Super Bowl. It's not losing to anything less than a playoff game in this Bracketology, and even then, it's gonna take a Duke vs UNLV effort, for the Super Bowl to lose.
* 2 vs Cowboys Week 2 2013 over 3 at Eagles Week 3 2013. A pessimist could write off the Chiefs easy victory in Jacksonville to open the "Fat" Andy Era as a fluke. Not even the most cynical could write off the immediate impact "Fat" Andy had on this team, however, after these two back to back contests.
The Cowboys get the win for really one reason, and that is this: if you sat through the stench, the repulsion, the outrage that was every game in 2012 (and trust me kids, I did -- all eight at Arrowhead, plus one in Tampa, and a planned roadie to those people I refused to attend to end the botched abortion that was Chiefs Football 2012), then that Cowboys game meant a ton to you.
Because as I noted on the recap of that game, for the first time in over a year, going to a Chiefs game wasn't a chore, it wasn't a pain in my ass, it didn't feel like being drug to Mass on Sunday morning against your will as a kid. It was actually fun to be there! And isn't that what sports is supposed to be? Fun?
God bless it, if you didn't endure the 2012 Chiefs season (and heads up -- 2011 wasn't much better), you'll never understand why "Fat" Andy is so loved in this city, and by this fanbase. He made Chiefs football fun again. And "fun" is definitely not a word I attribute to anything Scott Pioli or Coach Asshat or Coach Baffoon brought to the experience, of being a Chiefs fan ... or worse yet, actually attending a Chiefs game.
All AFC Regional.
* 1 vs Titans AFC Championship 2019 over 5 vs Patriots Week 4 2014. There are only two games capable of beating this year's AFC Championship in this Bracketology. As great as the Monday Night Massacre was? It ain't one of those two games.
* 2 vs Texans AFC Divisional 2019 over 3 vs Steelers Week 7 2015. Yes, I argue (I believe quite persuasively) that the Steelers game was the catalyst for everything that has happened since. Nothing we've enjoyed in the past four and a half seasons happens, without that victory over the Steelers.
Having noted that ... gee, how to put this delicately ... got it.
That Steelers game? Is Doug Collins. The Texans Divisional Game? Is Phil Jackson. The Bulls don't win six titles in eight years without Phil at the helm ... but no matter how true that may be, they aren't in a position to win those six titles in eight years, without Doug Collins building the foundation that Phil built on top of. Mr. Collins took the Bulls as far as he could (the Eastern Semis). Mr. Jackson pulled them over the top. The Bulls needed both to succeed as they did ... but one clearly outshone the other, in the end. As great as that Steelers game and victory was? And as important as it was / is to everything since? It can't hold a candle to the feeling felt before, after, and especially during, that Texans game two months ago.
For once, that's not only an analogy by me that makes sense? But it's actually defensible! ("klassy" kevin kietzman voice) Holy hat Batman!
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The Elite Eight.
raiders / those people Regional.
1 at those people Week 4 2018 vs 6 vs those people Week 15 2019.
Somehow, this worked out. My two favorite games against those people of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era, and they somehow come together to meet in the Regional Final. (Again, call bullsh*t if you want, but I did not know how this bracket would play out when I created it. I wasn't even looking at rigging matchups. I just wanted to have some fun with this idea. I think I've accomplished that, even if it is at your eyes' expense via reading this full-on-blazed idea.)
(Note: here comes the "rank, stank hypocrisy" portion of these p*ss poorly posted words.)
There's a reason why I chose games to do this exercise, rather than plays, like Kent "Rant" Swanson did last year at Arrowhead Pride. (Note: I love that kid's stuff. And yeah, he's at least 13 years younger than me. He counts as a kid. Although I think my hair might top his. #inflatedego )
Because at some point, you have to ask yourself what defines an event more for you: a moment in time, or the full body of work?
I can recall for you Chiefs games that mean a lot to me, because of one moment in time inside of that game. The 1995 Chargers Monday Nighter. The 1997 raiders Monday Nighter. The 1997 home game against those people. The 2003 home game against those people. In this category, you'll find the Week 4 2018 game at those people -- a game that to me, is defined by one of the great moments in franchise history.
But I can also recall for you Chiefs games that mean a lot to me, because of everything involved with the GameDay.
Everything -- and I mean everything -- about October 7, 1991 ** .
(**: if you need to inquire what game was played on that day, then either (a) you're not the "die-hard Chiefs fan" you claim to be, or (b) you're 30ish years old or younger. There is no option (c).)
The Monday Nighter against those people in 1994. The absolute ass-raping of the defending champion Rams in 2000. Everything -- and I mean everything -- about Halloween 2004, when the demon known as satan manning finally got what he deserved *** . New Years Eve 2006 -- when The Immaculate Eight-Fecta paid off. Tuesday Morning Football against the "Super" Chargers in 2010. In this category, you'll find the Week 15 2019 game against those people.
(***: my favorite Len Dawson call of all time. After Greg Wesley intercepted satan to seal the game at 45-35, and begins to return the interception, you hear Len say the following: "oh just get down, get down, just get do -- Jesus! Nice block!" Not even the stoic figure that is Len Dawson, could hide his utter hatred of satan manning and the Colts, and his desire for the Chiefs to run up the score.)
Which is why this matchup is so damned hard to pick a winner for. What matters more: a moment in time none of us will ever forget, even when we're old and senile and our kids dump us in a shady retirement facility? Or a day that is so memorable in one's lifetime, that none of us will ever forget, even when we're so ill and incontinent that Wilford Brimley's recommendations for Liberty Medical supplies are a major part of our existence?
(Pause).
I think the way to resolve this debate, to pick this winner, is to think back to something I was asked twenty something years ago, and that question is this. What would you rather have rooted for in the 1990s: the Kansas City Chiefs, a team that posted nine winning seasons, seven playoff berths, were the first team out both winning seasons they missed the playoffs, but never reached a Super Bowl ... or the Los Angeles / St. Louis Rams, a team that posted nine losing seasons, moved halfway across the country because their fanbase didn't give a sh*t about them, who then somehow caught magic in a bottle and won the Lombardi in Year Ten. Do you prefer ten years of excellence but not quite perfect ... or nine years of sh*t filled baby diapers with a trophy at the end for your troubles?
Twenty years ago, my answer was "Chiefs". I suppose in some regards, my answer still is that I would want ten years of competence over nine years of Scott Pioli and one fluke playoff run.
But that fluke run through the bracket? That one play that defines a season, if not a player's entire career for you? Damn. It's so f*cking tempting.
It's the apple in The Garden of Eden.
And I'm biting it like (bastardized carl peterson voice) my name was Steve ... except without the s, and without the t.
raiders / those people Regional Champion: 1 at those people Week 4 2018.
Potpourri Regional.
3 vs Jets Week 3 2016 vs 4 vs "Super" Chargers Week 1 2016.
This one is as easy as it gets.
Potpourri Regional Champion: 4 vs "Super" Chargers Week 1 2016.
All NFC Regional.
1 Super Bowl LIV vs 49ers 2019 vs 2 vs Cowboys Week 2 2013.
Actually, this one is as easy as it gets.
All NFC Regional Champion: 1 Super Bowl LIV vs 49ers 2019.
All AFC Regional.
1 vs Titans AFC Championship 2019 vs 2 vs Texans AFC Divisional 2019.
And this one ... is as tough as it gets.
On the one hand, you have the greatest comeback in franchise history. On the other hand, you have what should be the most meaningful Chiefs game of my lifetime, to me.
On the one hand, you have a double digit victory at home in the postseason. On the other hand, you have a double digit victory at home in the postseason.
On the one hand, the Chiefense found a way to shut down Deshaun Watson when it mattered the most, something few thought could be done. On the other hand, the Chiefense found a way to shut down Derrick Henry when it mattered the most, something few thought could be done.
On the one hand, you have the Chiefs fixing a humbling late game regular season defeat after blowing a huge lead. On the other hand, you have the Chiefs fixing a humbling late game regular season defeat after blowing a huge lead.
On the one hand, I was there for both humbling regular season defeats. On the other hand, I was there for both thrilling postseason victories.
On the ... (lee corso voice) aw! F*ck it!
If you had told me at any point in time prior to January 2020, that bringing Lamar's Trophy home would NOT be my favorite game of my Chiefs fandom, I would have said you were more full of sh*t than a port-a-potty at Arrowhead at pushing 4pm for a noon game. I would have swore your head was so far up your ass you couldn't see anything but dark brown anywhere you looked. I would have called you a pathological liar. I would have said "you clearly don't know me". I would have ... well, let's move on, before I get a phone call reprimanding me for my four-letter words in this post.
And yet ... here we are.
Because give me that Texans game over the Titans game, and twice on GameDay.
All AFC Regional Champion: 2 vs Texans AFC Divisional 2019.
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And so, the Final Four of Chiefs Bracketology (The Race to Figure Out My Favorite Game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era) is set:
On one side, you have two incredible regular season matchups that featured epic rallies and comebacks, against hated divisional rivals. On the other side, you have two of the three playoff games from this past Championship season.
This finish is gonna be fun ... because I still have no idea who is going to win. I can be talked into three of these four being my favorite game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era ... and the fourth one is my favorite contest against my most hated team in sports -- again, a team I so thoroughly despise, I won't even refer to them by name.
Until tomorrow, be safe, be healthy, and if you can't be either, (the late, great mr. william grigsby voice) please don't take it out on the dog. Your problems aren't the pooch's fault. Just grab a handle and a glass, drop some Mountain Valley Spring Water ice cubes into said glass, and pour a stiff one of your favorite libation.
Just like our ol' pardner would have ... and no doubt is still doing, in that great beyond in the sky ...
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