You've watched the shows;
What's the best way?
No one knows.
You meditate,
Hyponitzed,
Anything to take it from your mind --
But it won't go.
You're doing all these things?
Out of desperation.
You're going through six degrees?
Of separation.
You're here to drink;
You take a toke.
Watch the past?
Go up in smoke.
You fake a smile; you lie and say,
You're better now than ever,
And your life's ok.
But it's not, no.
You're doing all these things?
Out of desperation.
You're going through six degrees?
Of separation.
First? You think the worst?
Is a broken heart!
But what's gonna kill you?
Is the second part --
And the third?
Is when your world splits down the middle!
Fourth? You're gonna think
That you've fixed yourself.
Fifth? Is when you see them
Out with someone else!
And the sixth? Is when you admit?
You may have f*cked up a little ..."
-- "Six Degrees of Separation" by The Script. God bless, 3 is so, so good ...
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It's been awhile ... so coming to you (initially) live from the rear shadow of PennTower, home to one of Kansas City's sleaziest personal injury law firms ... and edited (not even remotely) live from Stevo's couch and/or coffee table ... it's the Stevo Live Blog!
(kazoo voice) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With today's announced / proposed trade of Chiefs CB Marcus Peters to your Los Angeles Rams, there quite frankly is only one source of journalistic integrity I turn to, at times like these. There's only one man whose opinion I seek out, in moments of alleged crisis like today allegedly is.
Because times like these, call for me to do something I don't believe I've done in pushing a decade, and fire up 810 WHB on the iPhone ... and listen to what "Klassy" Kevin Keitzman has to say, about this announced / proposed deal.
Here we go!
(Pause). What? (Pause). You're godd*mned right I wish they let us drink at our desk ...
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(Note: all times CT, Friday, February 23, 2018.)
(Also Note: once 810 WHB has the podcast up, I'll try to remember to link it here.)
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* 2:05 we are live! For the record, I am listening / typing this while enjoying a Gold Peak Iced Tea and what remains of my Southwest Chicken Salad I grabbed at McDonalds for lunch.
God bless, I wish we could drink at our desk at "company I work for".
Also, nice to see the intro music to "Between the Lines" hasn't changed in at least fifteen years. #fortunatojunior
* 2:05 shockingly we are live in studio. No remote from the Tippins Pie aisle at some Price Chopper today!
* 2:06 El De Buen Tono taking credit for knowing about this trade a week ago. Uuh, Ol' Kev? So did PFT, Arrowhead Pride, and any other number of assorted reputable outlets.
Also, allow me to state, I love that Kaptain Klassy just assumes his fans only pay attention to him, and no other media outlets.
I mean, this guy's ego, narcissism, and arrogance is so out of control, President Trump is embarrassed for him.
* 2:06 El (Pretendidamente) Deje Caer Mis Pantalones is gloating over what will be Part Dos of his monologue / diatribe, the Yahoo! NCAA report. On this, I genuinely feel sorry for the dude; it must suck to root for a hoops program so unimportant, they have nobody to bribe to come to campus.
* 2:06 "We start with unexpected news."
*2:06 the very next sentence "This news comes as no surprise to most of us."
I ask this with all sincerity: is it time to debate taking the keys from Krazy Kev?
* 2:07 "Justin Houston is next. He very quickly will become a cancer on this team."
I'm sure D Clink was thrilled to hear all the "cancer" references Kaptain Klassy dropped in today's monologue. Way to be sensitive towards your co-host, Ol' Keitz.
* 2:07 "There may not be any suitors for (Houston)."
I'm guessing Men's Wearhouse has a suit or two big enough to fit him (rimshot!) Get it -- suit or? Ha! #baddadjokes
* 2:08 "Do (the Chiefs) trade (Houston), or just flat out cut him and spend his cap money more wisely?"
A question I guarantee you would be asked by Union Broadcasting Management daily regarding our "good friend", if he didn't co-own the damned station he broadcasts from. #carringtoniswhippingyourass #withoutdanny
* 2:09 "I'm not sure (Peters) knows where he's going."
(Pause). Yeah, gotta.
It's cool: sing along!
"Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?"
I think he knows.
* 2:09 "I'm the guy that was out at training camp last year and was pummeling Andy Reid about (all these players) not being there. And we heard his responses ... I totally respect (listeners' opposed to this trade) point that the Chiefs will not replace (Peters) with a more physically giften player. I agree with you ... but I knew we were on to something last year when Andy Reid was getting hot under the collar about players that weren't there."
Since I'm a clueless dolt, does someone have actual audio and/or visual confirmation of this verbal "pummeling" Klueless Keitz delivered to "Fat" Andy last June? (He stressed it was delivered at the VOLUNTARY mini-camp held at Arrowhead every year after the draft, not in St. Joe.)
Also, does anyone believe the (allegedly) "Chico Lind of Sports Broadcasting in Kansas City" does his own dirty work and/or interviewing? Come on. We all know he farmed that out to whoever replaced The Drake back in the day.
Although I pray -- and I mean pray -- that "Fat" Andy dropped a King Carl like "who we talkin' to here?" blast, just for old time's sake.
* 2:10 "(Peters) is a quitter. He quit on his teammates."
I love people who spout off random sh*t as fact with not a single shred of evidence to back up and/or support said random sh*t. (Pause). What? (Pause). Well of course I love me some me!
* 2:10 "(Peters) is an inarticulate demonstrator. And (that) is being kind. He cannot explain to anybody what he's doing; he just does it."
(Deep Breath.)
(Very Deep Breath.)
Back in 2000, when Kev was destroying Don Fortunato with his "Kat P*ss on the Kar Seat" rumors, he constantly referred to Royals CF Carlos Beltran as a "loafer". Now, I'm fairly certain he didn't mean to refer to Mr. Beltran as a comfortable shoe. We all know what "loafer" means when referenced to a person of Hispanic descent.
Folks? Today? 2018 Krazy Keitz handed his beer to 2000 Krappy Keitz and simply said "hold my beer".
I swear, the ONLY thing missing in this section of the monologue is some background mus -- (Pause). What? (Pause). Sure! What the hell! I'll pipe the music in as you re-read inKlusive Kev's comment of Mr. Peters' ability to "articulate" himself:
(Pause). Too obvious? *
I mean, for God's sake, can you possibly make a more racist statement without it actually being technically racist than what "K"KK just said?
(*: spare me the hate mail / comments over the above embedded clip. The South had one thing right: government governs best, when it governs least.)
* 2:13 "This is three moves in ten months that are basically unprecedented here in Kansas City."
The three moves he meant were trading up for Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs", trading Sir Alex Smith, and now trading Marcus Peters.
* 2:14 "We will no longer take any more calls on Andy Reid being conservative."
Uuh ... there's people in our town who think he's conservative?
* 2:14 "(The Chiefs) just made Justin Houston really, really angry."
I guess that beats hangry. Because few if any things suck worse in life than being hangry.
* 2:15 "I'm going to tell you right now, Justin Houston is p*ssed. (Yes, he actually said p*ssed. Your all-around Kwality Family Man everyone!!!!!!!!) Trust me, he is p*ssed!"
As someone far, far ... worse at spelling, than I am, once noted: it's better to be p*ssed off, than p*ssed on. (Pause). No wonder Jasson said that! #multipledoubleconsonants
* 2:16 "If you thought you were p*ssed over that Titans playoff game? I guarantee you, you weren't as angry as Andy Reid. Because I guarantee you he left that field determined to blow this up!"
I need a few more hours (if not days) to come back to this ... but I will spoil any future commentary by me, by noting that "Fat" Andy and I share a 100% on track mindset when it comes to 2018 ... and 2019 if need be: blow this underachieving roster
* 2:17 hey, we have a D Clink breath of (sane) air! "Well, this certainly is a gamble. All of these moves are gambles."
* 2:17 more D Clink: "Losing (the playoff game) in that fashion has certainly created a maelstrom for (the Chiefs)."
I guarantee you Klueless Keitz has no idea what "maelstrom" means. Although in his defense ... I didn't either.
* 2:18 D Clink Tres: "Houston's a difficult player to read. He doesn't talk very often."
Wait -- I thought Konfident Kev just told us to "trust him", that Mr. Houston is "very angry" today, and that he's about to become the latest assault on the word cancer for this franchise? I'm confused. And I'm sober. (Or at my residual .06.) Which really isn't good.
* 2:19 and we're back to Kommentator Kev: "You watch that game against the Titans and you watch (Houston) on your screen and you say "my God, what is he doing? He's just playing patty cake here!"
Somehow, I'm guessing "I'm just playing patty kake here!" is not the (alleged) explanation for that (alleged) night eighteen years ago that (alleged) Ol' Kheater offered up to (allegedly) the brave PV Kop that happened upon the (alleged) scene.
* 2:19 "Look, I believe opinions are never wrong."
(Pause). Yeah. Gotta.
* 2:20 "(Peters) is lazy. He knew he could recover from a play or two off and make something spectacular (happen)."
If Ol' Krazy had said "loafer" instead of "lazy", I would have keeled over dead.
* 2:21 "I didn't like (Peters) either. I don't like people who can't articulate why they take a radical stance on something."
First of all, how is protesting something you disagree with a "radical stance on something"? We ALL protest what we oppose, in our own ways! I mean kome on Kev -- you made your entire career based on a taking a "radical stance on something" -- The Walkout!
And for the love of all things holy "K"KK -- you didn't articulate your end game with that protest! You didn't even try to!
Your ENTIRE end-game agenda with that "radical stance on something" was to grab the reigns for the next twenty years as KC's dominant drive time host!
(And to your credit, you achieved said goal. For better or for worse, you did it.)
2:22 D Clink responds: "(Peters) is an impossible person to read, because he doesn't articulate his feelings either way."
Come on Klink -- you're better than falling into Keitz' race baiting trap.
2:22 Keitz Komments: "Peters had too much influence with this team, and he (was a) cancer. They lost DJ, they lost Berry, and what happened? The cancer spread on this team."
(the voice of reason voice) You cannot reason with people that don't possess any reason.
2:22 "Four former people here with Marcus Peters wanted no part of him."
The four people Kancer Kalling Kev singled out are Chris Ballard (Colts GM), John Dorsey (Browns GM), Doug Pederson (Eagles HC), and Matt Nagy (Bears HC).
So let's examine this one rationally, by using some kommon sense, if that is possible. Why, pray tell, would John Dorsey hypothetically trade #4 overall plus a key Day Two pick for a corner that (a) won't resign with the team, so he's gone in two years and (b) doesn't mean the difference between a wild card berth or worthless season? I'd submit that if Mr. Dorsey had traded #4 and other considerations for Marcus Peters, he should be fired on the spot, because he's too clueless (or is that klueless?) to run a team.
And Mr. Dorsey may be a lot of things, but he ain't a f*cking idiot.
Doug Pederson? What, pray tell, does Marcus Peters add to arguably the NFL's best secondary? How is Marcus Peters the difference between, say, beating the crap out of your opponent in a title game by thirty plus, then beating arguably the greatest dynasty in league history with a backup QB under center? What does Marcus Peters add? Plus, Philly already tried adding the "allegedly disgruntled malcontent to put us over the top" routine. As Philly fan how well Terrell Owens worked out.
Nagy? What pull does he have? He hasn't even held a scrimmage yet in his new role! Plus, do you honestly believe Marcus Peters is the sole missing link between a Bears playoff berth and going 5-11? I mean come on. Again -- if the Bears traded wherever they're at in Round One (I believe it's #8) plus a key Day Two or Day Three pick for Marcus Peters? Then their GM should not only be fired on the spot, he should probably be chucked head first into the frozen waters of Lake Michigan.
The ONLY one of the four that maybe, possibly makes sense, is Indy ... but even with a healthy Andrew Luck, do you REALLY think Marcus Peters is the difference between 8-8 (which is the floor with Luck under center, as history has shown) and the 10-6 needed now to win the AFC South? And even if he is, do you REALLY think Marcus Peters is resigning in Indy eighteen months from now?
If you believe that?
I've got some ocean front property in Arizona for sale.
And you can have the godd*mned Golden Gate for free. Sh*t, it's Arizona -- I'll throw the London Bridge in to boot.
* 2:23 "You know I'm someone with real strong opinions. I've evolved into a real strong opinion maker."
That's how "Not Karrington" Keitz chose to close the Chiefs portion of his monologue.
I ... I got nothing, to rebut the kraziness that is that statement above.
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All kidding aside ... Krazy Kev and I agree on one thing: today was a very, very good day for the Kansas City Chiefs.
And look it, in case you think I'm some kind of "krackpot" -- search my timeline on Facebook, Twitter, or social media. I wear (wore?) a Marcus Peters jersey to home games the last two years. Ditto the road games I've attended (Houston, Indy, Dallas) over those two years.
I irrationally love Marcus Peters.
But this is ...
Today was the breakup that was inevitable.
And all of this offseason so far, has been inevitable from the moment that khicken sh*t officiating crew headed by Jeff Sh*tlette, disavowed Marcus Peters' strip of Derrick Henry that Derrick Johnson returned to the end zone, just inside the two minute warning of the single most indefensible Chiefs postseason loss of my lifetime. (Note: I'm 41.)
Because leaving that stadium, I reached my Rage Against the Machine Memorial "F*ck It -- Cut The Cord!" moment.
I argue the single worst thing you can do in sports, is hold onto an underachieving core. That is what I think "Fat" Andy realized leaving the field after that indefensible defeat to the Titans. It's why I think "Bulldog" Bob Sutton is returning -- "Fat" Andy knew it wasn't the scheme. Ditto why he promoted from within to replace Matt Nagy -- it isn't the scheme.
It's the personnel.
And that's the single biggest thing to celebrate today, Chiefs fans.
This isn't 1998. We're not ignoring the Captain Oats in the room.
This isn't 2006. We're not ignoring the Princess Sparkles in the room.
This is 2018. We're not bringing back a core of a team that peaked.
We're retooling on the fly, in a division still very, very wide open for the Chiefs to win yet again.
There isn't a single move the Chiefs have made so far, that shifts the balance of power in the AFC West, uuh, west.
If anything, every move made so far?
Consolidates the seat of power in the division?
Squarely in the heart of this nation.
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More to come ... hopefully sooner rather than later. (Pause). What? (Pause). Well I know that this is the first post since the playoff defeat! My official spiritual adviser, the right Reverend Al K. Hall, told me to take a six week break! ...
