week twelve picks

The Statisticals.

Last Week SU: 8-6-0.

Season to Date SU: 98-62-1.

Last Week ATS: 7-7-0.

Season to Date ATS: 75-80-6.

Last Week Upset / Week: rock bottom.

Season to Date Upset / Week SU: 3-10-0.

Season to Date Upset / Week ATS: 4-9-0.

This Week Upset / Week: Patriots (+2 1/2) over "Super" Cardinals.

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The Week Twelve Picks.

Bye: none.

Thanksgiving Day:

* at Lions (+3) 17, Texans 13.  Coach Baffoon vs Matt Patricia -- two turkeys not even God can pardon for their utter and total coaching incompetence.  Although Deshaun Watson against Matt Stafford is at least cranberry sauce good enough to tune in ... until KU and Gonzaga tips off around the eight minute to go mark in the first half.

* Redskins (+3) 24, at Cowboys 20.  A battle of two 3-7-0 teams in which the winner takes over first place!  Your NFC Least everyone!

Sunday:

* at Steelers (-4 1/2) 27, Ravens 17.  Hear me out on this: Lamar Jackson is this century's Kordell Stewart.  Everyone forgets Kordell led the Steelers to 12 wins and an AFC Title Game in 1997, garnering some MVP support.  Then he stumbled to .500 in 1998, and was benched by 2000.  The trajectory for Lamar is looking frighteningly similar.  Of course, the big difference between the two is that gun to his head, Kordell Stewart could throw the ball more than fifteen yards downfield.  Lamar can't.

* at Patriots (+2 1/2) 24, "Super" Cardinals 14.  I never bet against a proven veteran team, playing at home, with its' season on the line.  Which probably explains why I had a $30,000 plus gambling debt by the time I was in my mid 20s.

* at Vikings (-4) 31, Panthers 20.  See previous paragraph.

* Browns (-6 1/2) 41, at Jaguars 6.  I'm laying a touchdown ... on the Browns ... on the road.  God spare my bank account.

* at Bills (-5 1/2) 31, "Super" Chargers 13.  As my buddy Pickell would note: "put it this way" -- if the Bills cannot win this game, they're burnt toast without any jam come January.  Coming off a horrible beat, with the bye to recover and re-motivate, again -- if the Buffalo Bills lose this game?  Sh*t, they may not survive to see January beyond my 44th birthday, if they drop this one.

* Dolphins 13, at Jets (+7) 10.  The last six: vs Dolphins / vs raiders / at Seahawks / at Rams / vs Browns / at Patriots.  You find a win in there.  Because I'll be damned if I can.

* Giants (-5 1/2) 26, at Bengals 10.  I so freaking hate the injury to Joe Burrow.  Hopefully he's back healthy and productive in nine months.  The Chiefs play at the Bengals next year; that's a very doable (and already done) roadie.

* Titans (+3 1/2) 31, at Colts 28.  If you haven't or didn't see the Colts last "drive" in regulation last week, please, do yourself a favor and find a way to watch it.  Because the play by play doesn't do it justice.  The Colts were flagged for seven -- seven! -- flags, on a drive where all they had to do was bleed a couple minutes off the clock.  Six -- six! -- of those flags, were for offensive holding.  Anyone who thinks a team that can't execute six handoffs without six holding calls is going to be a factor in January, let alone get there?  Might need a mental health evaluation more than I do.

* raiders (-3) 34, at "Shane" Falcons 3.  The raiders may be the single biggest team standing between the Chiefs and a repeat championship come January.  And those are words I never imagined I'd type.

* at those people (+5) 24, Saints 14.  Setting up a last gasp next Sunday night at Arrowhead.  

* at Rams (-7) 31, 49ers 21.  And to think people laughed at me three months ago when I predicted the Rams to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl.

* at Packers 24, Bears (+8 1/2) 21.  This line is at least a couple points too high.  Bears / Packers is always a one score game, no matter how good or bad the other squad is.

Monday:

* Seahawks (-5 1/2) 34, at Eagles 10.  I know I never bet against proven veteran teams at home with their season on the line ... but I will, if it's obvious their season is already over.  To bastardize "The Voice of Reason": the Eagles Christmas goose is not only cooked, it's so burned it's unedible.

Chiefs:

First things first: the HomeGate this week will be at The Quaff downtown.  We've reserved the back party room, and the pizza and wings are covered.  All any guest has to cover is the cost of their booze.

(And yes, I know -- The Quaff and I are not friends.  We're not even frenemies.  Bad things tend to happen when I go to The Quaff.  I like to think though, that the changes made in my life, mean I won't have multiple waitresses, the bartender, and the owner shouting "you let him leave?!?!?!" -- followed by a frightened to the gates of hell itself "you let him drive?!?!?!" -- when I, uuh, leave, Sunday night.)

Anyways, if you can make it, show up anytime after 2:30 and we can accommodate ya.

As for the game itself?  

This one kind of reminds me of Chiefs at Cowboys 2005.  And that's not a good thing for either team, although it's really not a good thing for one team on Sunday.

I see the Bucs scoring with about thirty seconds left to go up three (just like the Cowboys fifteen years ago).  I see an incredible Chiefs catch to set the Chiefs up for an incredible tie from 45ish yards (just like the game fifteen years ago).  

And I see a miss, for a painful defeat.  (Just like fifteen years ago.  Trust me -- I was there.)

* at Bucs (+3) 38, Chiefs 35.

week 11 bad guesses

The Statisticals.

Last Week SU: 11-3-0.

Season to Date SU: 90-56-1.

Last Week ATS: 6-6-2.

Season to Date ATS: 68-73-6.

Last Week Upset / Week: 1-2 both SU and ATS.

Season to Date Upset / Week SU: 3-9-0.

Season to Date Upset / Week ATS: 4-8-0.

This Week Upset / Week: Lions (+3) over Panthers.

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The Picks.

* Byes: 49ers, Bears, Bills, Giants.

* "Super" Cardinals (+3) 28, at Seahawks 24.

* at Saints 27, "Shane" Falcons (+5) 24.

* at Redskins (-1) 14, Bengals 10.

* Lions (+3) 31, at Panthers 20.

* Patriots (-2) 31, at Texans 27.

* at Browns (-3) 34, Eagles 14.

* Steelers 24, at Jaguars (+10) 21.

* Titans (+6) 24, at Ravens 14.

* at Colts (-2 1/2) 31, Packers 21.

* at "Super" Chargers (-8) 41, Jets 3.

* Dolphins 30, at those people (+3 1/2) 28.

* at Vikings (-7 1/2) 51, Cowboys 10.

* Rams (+3 1/2) 31, at Bucs 30.

* at raiders (+6 1/2) 38, Chiefs 35.

week ten picks

The Statisticals.

Last Week SU: 7-7-0.

Season to Date SU: 79-53-1.

Last Week ATS: 4-10-0.

Season to Date ATS: 62-67-4.

Last Week Upset / Week: another disaster.

Season to Date Upset / Week SU: 2-7-0.

Season to Date Upset / Week ATS: 3-6-0.

This Week Upset / Week: remember in the good old days, when Chris Berman would be like 20-40 at midseason on his picks, so he'd just start increasing the number of games he picked to try to improve his record by cheating?  Consider this my attempt to do that, because I'm taking three 'dogs this week outright.  Titans (+1) over Colts -- Phyllis Rivers is done.  Giants (+3) over Eagles -- who doesn't want the winner of the NFC Least to finish at 5-10-1 or 5-11?  And Bears (+2 1/2) over Vikings -- Kirk Cousins is 0-9 on Monday Night Football, and I think that stink streak continues.  

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The Week Ten Picks.

Byes: Chiefs, Cowboys, Jets, "Shane" Falcons.

* at Titans (+1) 31, Colts 14.

* at Lions (-3 1/2) 24, Redskins 14.

* at Browns (-3) 27, Texans 21.

* at Packers (-13) 45, Jaguars 13.

* Giants (+3) 13, at Eagles 10.

* Bucs 27, at Panthers (+5 1/2) 24.

* at raiders (-4) 35, those people 27.

* at "Super" Cardinals (-2) 41, Bills 34.

* at Dolphins (-1) 31, "Super" Chargers 24.

* at Steelers 24, Bengals (+7 1/2) 23.

* at Rams (-1 1/2) 30, Seahawks 20.

* at Saints (-9) 34, 49ers 13.

* Ravens 34, at Patriots (-7) 31.

*at Bears (+2 1/2) 16, Vikings 9.

quick week nine predictions

The Statisticals.

Last Week SU: 6-8-0.

Season to Date SU: 72-46-1.

Last Week ATS: 6-7-1.

Season to Date ATS: 58-57-4.

Last Week Upset / Week: not even close.

Season to Date Upset / Week SU: 2-6-0.

Season to Date Upset / Week ATS: 3-5-0.

This Week Upset / Week: those people (+4) over "Shane" Falcons.

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The Non-Chiefs Picks.

* Byes: Browns, Bengals, Eagles, Rams.

* at 49ers (+5 1/2) 24, Packers 14.

* Seahawks (-2 1/2) 31, at Bills 28.

* those people (+4) 31, at "Shane" Falcons 30.

* at Titans (-5 1/2) 27, Bears 14.

* at Vikings (-4) 31, Lions 13.

* at Colts (+2 1/2) 24, Ravens 23.

* Texans (-7) 31, at Jaguars 3.

* at Redskins (-3) 24, Giants 6.

* raiders (+1) 30, at "Super" Chargers 20.

* Steelers 24, at Cowboys (+14) 17.

* at "Super" Cardinals (-5) 26, Dolphins 17.

* at Buccaneers (-5) 38, Saints 24.

* Patriots (-7) 28, at Jets 0.

The Chiefs Prognostication.

This is the last Chiefs home game for a month, until those people roll into town for a Sunday Nighter to open December.  I will be there for that one; I'll even be in my section to watch it!  (Although not in my seat ... but close enough to see it!  So there's that!)

The Homegate is at Tommy's out in Lee's Summit; the menu is pulled pork and a true tailgate on his acre plus homestead.  The weather looks perfect for Sunday -- 75 and sunny with some wind to aid my god-awful ping pong ball tosses on the beer pong table.  If you can make it great; if you need directions just DM or email me on the links provided on this site.

As for the game itself, it's gonna be a laugher.

* at Chiefs (-10 1/2) 38, Panthers 13.

stevo's 2020 ballot

Every four years, this feels like an exercise in futility.

And every four years, I exercise in it anyway.

Tuesday, I will exercise the greatest right we have as Americans -- the right to vote -- and cast my ballot for who I believe should represent me at all levels of government for the next two to four years.  (As we have no national Senate race on the ballot here in Missouri, there is no six year term of governance to contemplate this time.)

I know some people consider the ballot box to be sacrosanct, to be private, to be between you and whoever or whatever.  I don't.  Below, I will lay out who I am voting for, and if it helps shape your vote, spectacular.  If it just makes you laugh, even better.  But no matter what, I hope you get off your ass Tuesday and vote for whoever or whatever you feel is best for this nation, if not for your own personal life.

Click on this link to see the ballot I will be voting on, on Tuesday.

To see my 2016 ballot -- proof that I said Mr. Trump would win when few if any others did -- you can click on this link.

To see my 2012 ballot, you can click on this link.

(Note: I could not find a 2008 ballot on this site.  I must have sent it by email, as this site had just begun when the 2008 Election was held.)

Here then, is Stevo's 2020 Ballot.

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President / Vice President: Donald Trump and Mike Pence (R).  I honestly prefer Joe Biden, and my despise of damned near anything Trump is fairly well known.  But in the end, there's three things that drove me to hold my nose, choke down a gallon of vomit, and vote to re-elect the President:

1. The childishness of the Left.  Do we really want these whiners who still cannot accept an election result from the previous decade in charge of the free world?  Because I sure as hell don't.

2. The health of Mr. Biden.  If he'd picked anyone other than Kamala Harris ...

3. Mr. Reagan's Question.  Are you better off today than you were four years ago?  I unquestionably am.  The President had some kind of a role to play in that for me, especially economically.

And for what it's worth, here is how I think the Electoral College map will look, when it is all said and done:

Governor: Nicole Galloway (D).  I'm sure Mike Parson is a decent dude and has our best interests at heart.  But he's also a god-awful governor that has accomplished nothing to be proud of in his two years of service.  Ms. Galloway is my choice and has my vote.

Lieutenant Governor: Alissia Canady (D).  A former Kansas City councilwoman, she did a solid job representing the East Side in her years on the job.  If you doubt me, take a drive around 31st and Troost, 31st and Prospect, hell the whole 31st Street Corridor.  You'd never recognize it from ten years ago.  Ms. Canady has earned the promotion to statewide office.

Secretary of State: Yinka Faleti (D).  Like the Carnahan's, the Ashcroft's just need to go away.  This brings us one step closer to the dream of an Ashcroft free state.

State Treasurer: Scott Fitzpatrick (R).  Only a fool votes to put the Democrats in charge of the Treasury.  And I say that as a registered Democrat.

Attorney General: Eric Schmitt (R).  He's done a good job in the office.  He deserves re-election.

US House of Representatives, District 5: Ryan Derks (R).  You could put a gun to my head, pull the trigger, then drag my dead non-pulsating hand towards the circle for "Carwash" Cleaver, and somehow, someway, my dead non-pulsating hand would revive long enough to thwart your plans for evil.  "Sleazy" Manny Cleaver is the worst thing to happen to Kansas City politics, possibly ever.  I will never cast a vote for that "Man of the Cloth", and I hope you won't either.

Missouri State Senator, District 7: Greg Razer (D).  Pretty much running unopposed; no Republican filed a challenge.

Missouri House of Representatives, District 25: Patty Lewis (D).  Is running unopposed.

Jackson County (MO) Prosecuting Attorney: Tracey Chappell (R).  Jean Peters Baker has failed miserably at her job, and worse yet, she's a partisan hack who has headed up the Jackson County Democrat Party for years.  It's time to put her out to pasture.  Especially for someone who would shake the DA's office up to its' foundation, as putting a Republican in charge of it would.

Jackson County (MO) Sheriff: Daryl Forte (D).  Is running unopposed.

Judges: vote to retain all.  They haven't done anything negative to my life in four years; I might as well return the favor.

Missouri Constitutional Amendment 1 (Term Limits): not just no, but f*ck no.  Why would any sane person want to term-limit out a success in office?  I've never understood that.  There's a reason why successful corporations don't have term limits; why should government have them?

Missouri Constitutional Amendment 3 (Lobby Reform): no.  This is the proverbial solution in search of a problem.

Jackson County Question 1 (911 Fee): yes.  This question probably should have passed ten years ago, if we're being honest here.  I haven't had a land line since sometime in early 2007.  It's insane I have contributed $0.00 towards our 911 service since that date.  (Although, thankfully, I have never had to utilize our 911 service, so I've gotten what I've paid for?)

Jackson County Question 2 (Statue Removal): no.  If you're triggered by a statue of a dude who's been dead for nearly two hundred years, perhaps the problem is not the statue.  Just sayin'.  And provides full symmetry to the ballot, because going back to the first vote cast -- who the hell wants to put someone in charge of this country, that can't muster the emotional maturity to walk past a statue?

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That's my ballot for this election.  Whatever else you do today, please making voting a priority, no matter who you cast your vote for.