As some of you are aware, there are two college teams I root for.
KU, obviously. Many posts on this site related to KU Football, basketball, and there's probably a baseball riff or two on here somewhere, if only to rehash another one of my "proudest" moments in life, when at a KU baseball game sometime back in college, at quarter hot dog night, when a dude built like Kirby Puckett went back for more, and I dropped the "why? Doesn't look like you need anymore" blast at him. (I'm guessing I'd been drinking. That, or I really am retarded. Seriously, how did I escape high school and college without ever getting my ass kicked?)
Anyways, the other school I passionately follow ... is Syracuse.
Ten days ago, Syracuse stood undefeated at 17-0. It had risen to the number two ranking, facing number four Pittsburgh on Big Monday.
The Cuse promptly fell behind 19-0 en route to their first defeat of the season.
Six days ago, the Cuse packed the Dome to the rafters, hosting then number seven Villanova. And got pole-axed, never leading and losing by double digits.
Three days ago, the Cuse hosted also-ran Seton Hall ... and lost by 28. At home.
I say all this, because every year, at least one presumed "lock" for the tournament entering February seems to completely collapse and either head to the NIT, or squeak into the tourney before having their season mercifully ended. Last year, there were two shining examples of this: North Carolina and Texas.
I say all this ... because is the Cuse this year's falling star?
Once a team starts the downward spiral, it can be damned near impossible to recover from. Ask North Carolina last year, who started 12-4, and won their conference opener against Virginia Tech ... and then promptly dropped 7 of 8, the final defeat being a double digit Duke victory in Chapel Hill. Carolina finished 3-5 after that Duke rout, to finish at .500, sadly qualifying for the NIT (where they actually reached the title game before losing to Dayton).
(And by sadly, I mean tragically. I hate UNC with a freaking passion. I never could stand them even before the Rat Bastard arrived in 2004. His coaching tenure has just taken my dislike of the Tar Heels from "glad to see them lose" to "I hate them like I'm a Dukie").
Texas, like this year's Cuse team, opened 17-0 ... and lost 10 of 17 to end the season, the last defeat being a loss in the opening round to Wake Forest (an achievement deemed so great in the eyes of the Wake AD that he promptly sh*t canned their head coach 72 hours later).
Is the Cuse this year's Texas, this year's Carolina?
They currently sit at 17-3, but have lost three straight, each by a larger margin than the other. Worse yet, the last two defeats have come at home, where in the friendly confines of the Carrier Dome, Syracuse enjoys one of college hoops finest home court advantages. (Probably because there ain't sh*t else to do in Syracuse in the winter). Now, they face back-to-back brutal roadies, at Marquette on Saturday afternoon, then Wednesday night at UConn. I'd say it's not only highly conceivable that the Cuse hits a L5 as their trending streak, it's highly likely to happen.
After UConn, it doesn't get much better. The Cuse will have ten guaranteed games after the UConn game next Wednesday ... and (gulp) there's not much room to breathe:
* at South Florida (8-14, 2-8 conf). Syracuse should roll in this one ... but they should have rolled Seton Hall at home, and again, if you enter with that L5 as your trending streak, your confidence is rattled, and upsets happen.
* vs Georgetown (15-5, 4-4 conf). More on this in a minute.
* at Louisville (16-4, 5-2 conf). Yikes.
* vs West Virginia (13-6, 4-3 conf). Won't be easy.
* vs Rutgers (12-8, 3-5 conf). Should be easy ... but once the ball starts rolling down the hill towards Bubbleville ...
* at Villanova (17-3, 5-2 conf). They've already beaten Syracuse by 11 in the Dome.
* at Georgetown. Yikes.
* vs DePaul (6-14, 0-8 conf). A breather to end conference play. They need it.
* Big East Tournament, opponent TBA.
Right now, based on how things currently exist, I see at least 5 more defeats coming: at Marquette, at UConn, at Louisville, at Villanova, at Georgetown. I see three games the Cuse SHOULD win: at South Florida, vs Rutgers, vs DePaul. That puts them at 20-8, with three games left to determine the fate of the season: the Big East opener (which could be humongous for the Bubble), West Virginia at home ...
And the game that has to be the fail-safe, the game that I believe the season rides on: hosting the hated Hoyas on February 9th.
Last year, UNC's season was effectively over after losing that game to Duke. That was the fail-safe game. The one that if they won, the slide is halted, you get your confidence back, and begin to trend positively -- but if you lose, there's no stopping the slide. They lost. NIT bound.
(Conversely, you can argue Duke never looked back after that break-through victory -- they only lost one more the rest of the way (at Maryland) en route to the national championship).
Hopefully it won't come to the fail-safe. Maybe the Cuse comes out gangbusters on Saturday. Marquette is a winnable game. But I fear that game against Georgetown in twelve days is going to be huge for Syracuse's postseason hopes.
A few other college hoop thoughts, and I believe this is the first college hoop post of this season for me? I've been slacking ...
* Speaking of fail-safe games, speaking of "do or die" moments, speaking of "chance to really turn things around immediately" ... KSU at Kansas on Saturday night, everyone!
I have absolutely no idea what to expect out of KU at this point. Clearly the emotional toll of Thomas Robinson's personal blows hurt KU against Texas. On the other hand, I'd argue Tuesday night's win in Boulder was KU's most inspired performance so far this year.
I also have no idea what to expect from KU, because this team is fatally flawed. They have two huge problems, none of which I see any way Coach Self can correct. First, they don't have "the guy", the person you look to in the closing moments of a tight game, and put the game on his shoulders. In the words of Rick Pitino, Sherron Collins ain't walking through that door. Neither is Mario Chalmers, or Jacque Vaughn, or Jeff Boschee, or Kirk Hinrich, or any other stud Jayhawk who when the going got tough, pulled a Jimmy Chitwood and said "I'll make it Coach", and you knew he would.
But far more damaging than that in my opinion, because at least KU does have options at the end of a game ... is the fact that this team is atrocious at the foul line. I mean, atrocious. If there's an adjective that is stronger than atrocious, use that to describe KU at the line. In the words of Chuck Barkley, they're TURRIBLE! The Morris Twins are both 65% shooters, and if you watched them Saturday against Texas, you'd have guessed their percentage was in the teens, not the sixties. Thomas Robinson (and who knows where he goes from here, unfortunately) isn't even at 50%. He's at 47. Selby and Thomas are both in the low 80s ... but Thomas doesn't get to the line enough to make a difference. And let's be honest here -- in a one point game on the road, do you really want a freshman as inconsistent as Josh Selby shooting the deciding free throws? (My way of saying, KU ain't got NOBODY I'd trust from the line inside the final five minutes).
KU is easily leaving 10-12 points a game at the foul line. Easily. You can do that against Nebraska, and barely survive (like KU did). You can't do that against Texas, or A&M, or Mizzou, and expect to walk away with anything other than a defeat.
On the other side of the court Saturday night, wow, how big is this game for the Wildcats? You can legitimately argue their entire season rides on this game Saturday night. A loss drops KSU to 2-5 in the conference, means they've dropped 5 of 7, and are about to come dangerously close to replicating North Carolina from last year, or (a more apt description) the MU Tigers of 2003-2004, who took a top three national ranking and promptly lost in the first round of the NIT by the time the season was over.
The good news for KSU is that, after this game, they only have one virtually unwinnable roadie left (at Texas). They also figure to be favored in their next three (vs Neb / at ISU / at Col) entering the rematch with KU on Valentine's Day. So even with a loss Saturday night, the Wildcats season is far from over. But if they could win on Saturday? As a KU fan, I refuse to even contemplate that possibility. But as a college hoops fan, let's just say this game is very, very intriguing.
* Speaking of intriguing games, the most interesting game on the board to me this weekend is Duke at St. John's (Sunday, noon, CBS). I know Ohio State is deservedly ranked number one, based on their being the last undefeated team standing, but I still think Duke is the best team in America, and I will be shocked if they don't at least reach Houston come the end of March.
Having said that, and going back to a recurring theme, is this St. John's fail-safe game? They've dropped three straight after a great start (10-2) to the season. Steve Lavin is a tremendous head coach (and good God, do I miss his commentary, he was one of the great ones ESPN had). But it's asking too much for this team to stand toe-to-toe with Duke. The collapse is on. It's not stopping in this one.
I like Duke, and I like them to roll St. John's. And I mean roll. As in "pick the worst player on the Duke roster, he's getting at least five minutes of playing time" roll. This is going to be, in the words of one of my favorite phrases, "an ass kicking of Biblical proportions". This Duke team is scary good. There's not a flaw anywhere. Sunday just feels like one of those break-out type of games, where a team you know is pretty decent, but hasn't really had a statement win yet, goes out and beats a decent team senseless.
(My favorite example of this type of game? Easy, the 2002 2nd round, KU against Stanford. You have to think back, but good God, was I nervous for this game. KU nearly crapped the court in the opening round, barely defeating Holy Cross. Kirk Hinrich had rolled his ankle and was doubtful. I don't think Gregg and I said even five words between us driving to St. Louis that morning. You couldn't have pulled a pin out of my ass come tip-off, I was so nervous. And even worse? They don't sell booze at NCAA events. The Kentucky fans by us had their moonshine, but it wasn't helping. Nervous City with a capital N.
And then, in a shock to every KU fan there, Kirk Hinrich started. Five hours earlier the dude couldn't walk. Now he's being introduced? It totally jacked up the crowd (of which at least 90% were rooting for KU). We went from scared sh*tless to "f*ck it, we're winning this today" positive in about 2 seconds. Stanford had no clue what hit them. KU couldn't miss. Collison was hitting everything in the paint, and then Boschee drained a three pointer to make it 15-0. Mike Montgomery called TO at that point to stop the bleeding ... before the under sixteen timeout. That's incredible -- KU dropped fifteen on Stanford so fast, we hadn't even reached the first TV timeout yet. KU won 86-63, and kept on winning all the way to Atlanta for their first Final Four in a decade. This is the type of game I expect Duke to play on Sunday).
* Huge loss for Gonzaga last night, falling at home to St. Mary's by two. It's why I'm dragging this morning, I couldn't turn this game off. Gonzaga is now in real, real danger of missing the tournament. Lunardi still has them in the field this morning in his Bracketology watch ... but they're barely in (they're just off the dreaded opening-round last-teams-in grouping). Gonzaga's problem is that they really only have two chances to defeat a tourney team the rest of the way. They have Memphis in a couple weeks, and the return trip to St. Mary's after that. If you drop one or (worse) both of those? You're done.
* In bigger trouble than Gonzaga though, is Butler. Short of the auto-qualifier route, how do they get in? They've got way too many losses, and not enough quality wins. Lunardi has them barely in right now, but as the teams behind them (like Baylor, Washington State, Oklahoma State, Maryland) start potentially piling up big victories, what does Butler have to match them with? I mean, UW Milwaukee is a really neat place, even employs my cousin's husband. It's right on the Lake, in old Milwaukee, just a gorgeous area of town. But they have no business beating Butler twice in the same year, as they did this year. UW Milwaukee hasn't been relevant since Bruce Pearl was there in the late 1990s. Butler's in a world of trouble.
* Whoops, forgot to get into the other local team, which right now, I'd rate as the Big XII's best shot at reaching Houston. Yup, the Missouri Tigers.
(Spare me, Texas fans. Yes, you're undefeated. Yes, I have comments about you coming up. But no, you are not reaching the Final Four. Look at who your coach is. He's going to be de-pantsed by someone, probably around Sweet Sixteen time, on the other sideline. Rick Barnes is a great guy, and an incredible human being (more on this in a few paragraphs). But he is an AWFUL in-game coach. He's the only guy in America not named "Quin Snyder" who could fail to reach the Sweet Sixteen with Kevin Durant on his roster. Enough said).
MU plays Texas on Saturday night (8pm on the U), and you better believe I'll be tuned into that one. I love this Tigers team. I always liked Nolan Richardson's Arkansas teams back in the day. Partly because that's my brother's rooting interest, so I was forced to watch them when they were on ... but mostly because I just love the style of play. I love up-tempo basketball. Its why I strongly prefer the NBA to college, because the style of play is much better most of the time. (That, and the quality of play is 1,000 times better all of the time).
I really think this MU team can win in Austin Saturday night. They're the perfect team to do it, actually -- even against KU last weekend, Texas struggled to get the ball up the court and into position to run the offense, and KU really didn't press until the final ten minutes of the game. MU will be on them from the opening tip-off. In fact, hell, I'll predict it. MU 84, Texas 80. This is a very good Longhorns team, and they'll be in the mix for a top two seed (and a layup Tulsa - San Antonio route to Houston that only Rick Barnes could f*ck up). But MU's just as good. For one night, they're going to be better.
* As I mentioned a bit earlier, whatever I think of Rick Barnes as a head coach (and I don't think much of him) ... what an incredibly class act this guy is. The way he handled Saturday's game at KU was a masterpiece in class, dignity, and sportsmanship. Ditto his team -- there wasn't any taunting, any mocking, any rubbing it in as UT pulled away. Instead, each of them came up to T-Rob to express their sympathy, and Barnes' post game presser was one of the finest moments we'll see in sports this season.
But it wasn't the classiest, or the finest, or the most sportsmanlike, or any other adjective that we see way too rarely in sports anymore.
That would be UT on Wednesday night in Oklahoma State. Which, if you weren't aware, was the ten-year anniversary of the tragic plane crash that killed two Cowboys players and eight other members of the team (coaches, SID, pilots). A horrific event that Oklahoma State was attempting to properly honor and reflect on with commemorative t-shirts and pregame ceremonies.
Most coaches, would have their team respectfully stand and honor the victims during the pregame ceremony. They might even allow a ribbon on the jersey for one night.
Rick Barnes went beyond that. He had his team wear the tribute t-shirts during all warmups, while on the bench, and after the game.
Maybe I'm just getting softer as I get older. Maybe I'm finally embracing the good side of my personality, instead of the "I hate those guys! / I love those guys!" blind passion-side that usually dominates my view of sports. But I actually sat jaw-open when I saw what Barnes and his players did. That, was class. That was more than class. That was amazing.
(And something you'd never see that thug in Manhattan do in a thousand years. Christ, Frank Martin would probably boo the video tribute while asking "what's the big f*cking deal, it's been ten f*cking years, come on, we got a f*cking game to f*cking play!" during the moment of silence. Hey, its the passionate side of me re-emerging. Whew. Was worried I'd lost him there for a second ...)
As for UT itself, I was thorougly impressed with Saturday's win at KU (as well as Wednesday's surprisingly easy win at State). KU came out like gangbusters, absolutely on fire ... and Texas scored something like 65 of the last 88 points to win the game. They outscored KU at home by 23 points in the second half. I can't recall that EVER happening at the Field House. This is a phenomenal team, talent-wise probably the best since UT reached the 2003 Final Four. Or since Durant was one-and-done in 2007. Fun to watch, tough as nails, they simply keep plugging away until things go their way (and once it does turn in their favor, they just keep coming, a mark of a very resilient team). I just feel bad for Texas fans. We know how this is going to end. And it's not going to end in Houston.
* It wouldn't be appropriate for a college hoops post to pass without once again, begging, pleading, doing everything short of hitting my knees and blowing, please ESPN. Get rid of Bob Knight.
Monday nights, I mean, is ESPN's programming guru deaf? You go from the best team in the business (McDonough, Bilas, Raftery) to one of the three or four worst broadcast pairings in history (Musburger, Knight). And I love Brent Musburger. Knight really is that awful.
Seeing as how KU has three straight Big Monday appearances starting a week from now, this is not going to end well. I envision a cracked flat screen after I hurl a couple bottles at it in anger and actually connect.
I literally had to go to a bar for the second half of the KU / Baylor game a couple weeks ago. I was so hacked at having to listen to Knight, I feared I might hurl stuff at the TV. And I don't exactly have $600 laying around to replace it. So I went and spent money (aka bought drinks) to watch KU in a blowout win, because Knight p*ssed me off so much.
We're hitting crisis levels here. I haven't hated a broadcaster this much since Scott Lasky was hosting the NFL Sunday Ticket, and that was like 12 years ago. Please, ESPN, I'm begging you. Fire Bob Knight. Or at least demote him to the late night WCC game.
To put it another way: when I agree with Klassy Kevin Keitzman on something, and I am 100% in agreement with his "Fire Bob Knight" stance, I mean ... Knight has to be eight layers of awful. And he is.
* So, I guess I should end by going on the record with some picks for the weekend:
* MU 84, at Texas 80. For reasons stated above.
* Duke 103, at St. John's 62. For reasons stated above.
* at Marquette 76, Syracuse 69. Don't like the makeup of this Cuse team at all. Marquette always a tough out at home, and they need this one badly.
* at KU 74, KSU 73 (OT). Total homer pick. If I was betting on this game, I'd definitely take KSU, and I'd be tempted to take them straight up.
* at Baylor 82, Colorado 78. Huge bubble implications, for both teams.
* at UConn 81, Louisville 60. Waitresses at Italian restaurants in the Tri-State, be aware: Rick Pitino's in town for the weekend!
* at Villanova 64, Georgetown 61. Should be a typical Big East slugfest.
* BYU 81, at New Mexico 79. Huge letdown alert for BYU, but this ain't last year's Lobos team.
* at Nebraska 73, Texas A&M 68. Doc Sadler's taking down at least one heavyweight this year. A&M seems a little overvalued to me.
* at Missouri State 73, Northern Iowa 65. Huge, huge, huge Valley championship and NCAA bubble implications. Hu-yuge.
Who knows, now that I've finally logged a marathon college hoops post, I might finally get around to covering the basketball league I friggin love for once ...
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
i is for indy!
As most of my readers know, there's a little slice of heaven on this earth that holds a very special place in my heart. I freaking love this place more than any other place I've ever been lucky enough to visit. Every time I arrive at the gates, I literally tear up a little bit, it means that much to me.
I'm referring to, of course, the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. The Indy 500 is my favorite sporting event (and the Brickyard 400 isn't far behind). I love everything about that place.
I can honestly say, every person should experience the 500 at least once in their lives. The parties on Saturday night before the race are beyond legendary. The race itself is usually an amazing spectacle (to say nothing of the pre-race traditions). Even my buddy Dusty, who will never be accused of liking motorsports of any kind, even he agrees with me that Indy is "something special" that "everyone should do at least once".
I say this ... because the "Voice of Reason" was in Indy earlier this week, and bought a kid's book for his new son called "I is for Indy". It then links each letter of the alphabet to something in the track's history. I thought this was a spectacular idea. So, since we're now less than two weeks away from NASCAR kicking off its season, and barely four months away from the 500, I figured I'd steal the gimmick and plug what I think of for Indy and each letter of the alphabet.
Here goes.
A is for AJ Foyt. One of the two or three greatest drivers ever, in any level or form of motorsports. He's the only driver in history to win the three biggest races on this continent (Daytona 500, Indy 500, 24 Hours of Daytona), and he also won the 24 Hours of Lemans to boot. Has won the most Indy 500's of any driver (four). Also is known for his legendary temper, as best evidenced in the 1997 race at Texas, when he and eventual winner Arie Luyendyk literally threw down in Victory Lane. If you go to an IndyCar race, you have to get a scanner just to listen to the Foyt communications (which are anything but "family friendly").
B is for the coolest tradition in motorsports: the Balloon launch as "Back Home Again in Indiana" winds down. Always brings multiple tears to my eye. There's awesome experiences at a sporting event ... and then there's locking arm in arm with your neighbor, swaying and singing along with the man who'll be discussed when we reach J. It's hokey, it doesn't come through properly on TV most of the time, but trust me -- you will get emotional when (brent musburger voice) you are looking live! as it happens.
C is for Tom Carnegie, the long-time PA Voice of Indy, who retired a couple years ago. Savvy sports fans will also recognize Carnegie as the Voice of Butler basketball ... and the PA announcer in the championship game of "Hoosiers" (playing himself, since the final was played at Hinkle Field House, Butler's home court). His voice is just incredible. Anytime Tom Carnegie is talking, you shut up and listen.
D is for drivers, 33 of them, who start every Indy 500 in eleven rows stretching three cars across. I am 99.99% certain that Indy is the only race in the world that starts three wide (most others are two across, while some are single file). What is amazing is how crappy many of these drivers were, especially after the split between CART and IndyCar in the mid 1990s. It's a definite sign of how awesome this race is, that no-talent hacks like Scott Sharp, Greg Ray, Elizeo Salazar, Felipe Giaffone, Airton Dare, George Mack, and Robbie McGehee can lead laps at this race, and still the track fills up.
E is for Bernie Ecclestone, the chairman of F1, who used to run the US Grand Prix at Indy every June. Until 2006, when (whoops) the tire created for the race was deemed so unsafe, that only six drivers dared to take the track that day. After that debacle, F1 has not been invited back. Which is perfectly fine by me. Although I do miss the sand area that used to be set up for the F1 race in turn four, if only because I prefer to sit in the Northwest Vista, and for the 500 and the Brickyard, they used to turn that sandy area into a beach-club type viewing area, complete with lounge chairs for the girls to lay out and watch the race in. You're damned right I came armed with binoculars that may or may not have led to some creepy stalker-type viewing.
F is for the greatness that is Florence Henderson. Every year ABC goes to commercial when she performs "God Bless America". For years, I hated this. Everything about the pre-race ceremonies in Indy should be televised. It's history. However, I've softened on this somewhat. I think it's neat that to truly see everything the 500 has to offer, you have to be there in person, because you'll never see Florence's amazing rendition every year on TV. (You can't find a whole lot of youtube! clips of it either). It's one part of Indy that belongs totally to Indy and the fans who are there. You have to hear her perform at least once. Especially since following her, is the one moment guaranteed to send chills down your spine. We'll hit that when we reach the letter T.
G is for Georgetown Street, the street that runs north / south on the far west side of the Speedway. To truly grasp just how huge this place is, you gotta stand at the corner of 16th and Georgetown, and just stare straight north. You can't even see where the hell the track ends. (It ends at 30th Street). And on raceday morning, you can't see fifteen feet in front of you, the street is so jammed with racing fans making their way to their seats.
H is for Mari Hulman (George), whose family owns IMS. If you've ever watched a race at Indy, you know who this chick is. She's the one on the podium who looks 134 year old. Always says the six best words in motorsports -- "Lady and Gentlemen, start your engines!" -- painstakingly slow, like she's drawing her last breath ... and then gives two huge thumbs up as she walks away from the microphone. That never fails to crack me up. She honestly thinks she's just said the six most important words in the world, like she's just performed the greatest task a human being can accomplish. I can't disagree with her thinking.
I is for the craziest place in America, the Infield on race day. It really is as ridiculously insane as the pictures and stories you can find on the Internet make it out to be. I have literally stood in line to enter the Speedway on race morning, behind a group of frat boys all wheeling dollies stacked to the top with cases of beer. It's a crazy all-out party in that place, and it doesn't even cost you $20 to get in the door most of the time. Ridiculous. Also in the infield? The only museum in the world I will pay to enter. If you have any sense of history, you will have goose bumps as you walk through the place (last time I was there, it was $3 to enter, and another $3 if you want to take a lap around the track. It's the best $6 combo on earth).
J is for Jim Nabors. I'm telling you, there is NOTHING cooler in all of sports than when Bob Jenkins (now the PA voice at Indy) introduces our "good friend, Mr. Jim Nabors!", and he welcomes us all "Back Home Again in Indiana". The balloon launch is the cherry on top. I love every damned thing about that place. But I especially love the last 15 minutes of the prerace intros, when you get Florence, Jim, Mari, and the performer for the letter T all up there. There's no way you can get through that foursome without (at least once each) tearing up, cheering, smiling, singing, and feeling a chill down your spine. Well, unless you're already passed out, drunk and shirtless, in the infield. Still, either way -- you're feeling amazing by the time the pace car comes onto the track.
K is for my favorite driver ever, Kenny Brack, who won the 1999 Indy 500. His final race was the 2005 Indy 500 (still my favorite race I have ever attended). One of my favorite pictures, and sadly I can't find it on my computer anywhere, was taken at the 2005 IndyCar race here at Kansas. Kenny headlines a band that was performing, and after the set was over, someone (I'm guessing it was Gregg or Brett) snapped a pic of me and Kenny. I was in post-season form that day -- Kenny looks completely composed, and I'm pretty much incoherent, holding a Coors Light, and bright red from the waist up from a sunburn. Nothing says "yup, I'm a classy racing fan" than taking a pic with your favorite driver while you're pushing a .30 and shirtless. I'm gonna miss the IndyCar race here, really badly ...
L is for lawns, be it front or back, where (literally) thousands of race fans sleep overnight. All of Speedway, Indiana turns into one gigantic outdoor camping adventure the week of the race, and people just keep packing the front lawns and grassy undeveloped areas as the week progresses. Come Saturday night, it's a freaking nuthouse out there. And I for one love it. You just can't beat being able to sit on the side of the road, watching chicks earn their beads, while enjoying a few frosty cold adult beverages and a joint. All while the cops just walk on by and do nothing. Indy is truly the greatest place on earth. Especially the night before a race.
M is for a trio of drivers, all from the same family, that is the most cursed family of them all. Mario, Michael, and Marco Andretti. Mario did win Indy once, in 1969. Michael is the driver with the most career starts at Indy (20) to never win the thing. He finished in the top 5 in more than half of those 20 starts, including his final one, when he led with 5 laps to go, led with 4 laps to go, and then was passed by ... his son Marco, who to this day is still the only driver to be passed for the lead on the final lap in the Indy 500. And the pass occurred literally 1,000 feet from the finish (about 1 second). On second thought, maybe the 2006 Indy 500 is my favorite.
N is for the Name attached to the garage area -- Gasoline Alley. It just sounds cool, doesn't it? "Gasoline Alley". My favorite part of the Indy 500 early in the day, is walking into the Paddock seats, and seeing all the cars lined up. It's cool -- you can actually head down and see them. You cross under the track through the Tunnel, and when you come out and walk past the Bombardier Pagoda, it's all there to see, to touch, to interact with. You can watch the cars file through inspection, you can talk to various drivers and celebrities, you can have pictures taken with said cars, drivers, and celebrities ... and it doesn't cost you one damned cent to do it. (Unlike Kansas Speedway, which charges you an extra $20 just to get to the damned infield, and another $15-$30 if you want to see anything once you get there. Ridiculous). Gasoline Alley rocks.
O is for One Hundred, as in this is the 100th anniversary year of the inaugural Indy 500 (although only like the 96th running, stupid World War II screwing up the math). If you thought Indy was a spectacle in prior years, how crazy is it going to be for the centennial? (Answer: wicked crazy). If ever there was a year to give up your 500 cherry, or go back for more fun, this is it.
P is for Danica Patrick, who revitalized the Indy 500 in dramatic fashion beginning with her first appearance in the race, in 2005. I've been blessed enough in life to attend many sporting events, and I certainly have been in loud venues before, be it for sports or music ... but I have NEVER heard a reaction as loud and proud as the one that went up on lap 189 of the 2005 Indy 500, when Danica took the lead on the final restart, and held onto it for five laps before having to fall back to save fuel. There isn't a decibel meter to register how crazy loud it got in that place when she passed Dan Wheldon.
Q is for qualifying, which is unique for the Indy 500. I still liked the old procedure better, when you qualified 11 cars on day one, 11 cars on day two, 11 cars on day three, and then "Billy Boat Memorial Bump Day", when drivers not already in the field could knock out a driver that was in the field by posting a faster time. What made Bump Day (named in my circle of racing fan friends as "Billy Boat Memorial Bump Day", because poor Billy was on the bump damned near every year for a solid decade) cool, and still makes it cool, is that you aren't necessarily bumping number 33. You're bumping the slowest qualifying time. In the past, you could be knocking number 11 or number 10 from the field (which happened in 2005). Also, Bump Day always got crazy, because that's when the NASCAR guys would arrive and try to get into the field. Now, there's only two days of qualifying, the first 22 slots fill on Saturday, then the first 11 drivers to go out on Sunday fill the field, and then the bumping begins. "Billy Boat Memorial Bump Day" isn't as awesome as it used to be, but it's still the best qualifying day in motorsports.
R is for The Captain, the winningest owner at Indy, Roger Penske. Penske has won this race nearly 20 times. Odds are, if you're a top flight driver, you've spent some time in one of Roger's cars. In this decade alone, he's seen Helio Castroneves win for him three times, saw Sam Hornish Jr. win the closest finish in Indy history (the 2006 race where he passed Marco at the last second), and saw Gil DeFerran (a very underrated driver) drink from the milk. Also have to give his old sponsor a shoutout, our "good friends" at Marlboro. Other than the first year they ran at Kansas (2001), I don't think I ever paid to attend a race there, because Marlboro always sent "loyal smokers" like me free tickets.
S is for Tomas "Crash" Scheckter, one of the biggest talents in IndyCar, but a guy who can't avoid the retaining wall to save his life. His most "infamous" crash was in Texas in 2002, when he took out his teammate, Eddie Cheever Jr. Unfortunately for "Crash", Cheever was also his boss. Cheever gave one of the great post-wreck pressers of all time after that incident, dropping some salty language on "Crash", prophetically noting "he's going to kill someone if he keeps driving" and finishing by saying "that ass has driven his final lap for me". Nothing like getting fired on national television in the middle of a race. Scheckter also has the "honor" of leading the most laps in a race at Indy, and failing to win it. (If you guessed hit the wall on lap 189, congratulations, you're a winner!) Still, I like "Crash". If only because you're guaranteed to see a spectacular one if he's on the track. (None more spectacular than the 2003 fall race at Texas, where "Crash" took out my favorite driver with 11 laps to go, a wreck so horrific that (a) the IRL immediately called the race, (b) Paul Page nearly had a stroke in the booth from viewing it, because (c) everyone assumed Brack was dead. Pull up the clip on youtube! sometime. It'll sicken you. And then shake your head in amazement that Brack lived to drive again).
T is for the trumpeter who plays "Taps". Of all the pre-race ceremonial events, nothing resonates more than this. A solo trumpeter from the Purdue Marching Band, playing this song in tribute to all those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice for freedom over the previous year. A completely chill-inducing minute, capped by the fact that literally noone makes a sound the entire time. It's 300,000 people completely silent, the only noise being the trumpet. Amazing on television. Jaw-droppingly awesome in person.
U is for the most successful family at Indy, the Unsers. Al, Little Al, and Bobby have (I believe) 7 victories between them. Plus, the comedic value of Little Al is beyond priceless. This is a man who hosted a "come snort some coke with a group of strippers!" party in his trailer one year. A dude who was busted for DUI at 9 in the morning for driving the wrong way down the Vegas Strip. He also was a helluva driver, and prior to the 2006 race, Little Al won the closest race in Indy history, holding off Michael Andretti. I love Little Al, in case you can't tell. The guy is just awesome, in a total trainwreck kind of way.
V is for Victory Lane, where the coolest post-race tradition occurs. The winner of the Indy 500 every year has his car hauled into position, where he's handed a winner's wreath ... and a jug of milk. Which the winner promptly takes a swig of, before usually pouring it all over his pit crew and owner. No other race ends with the winner enjoying a glass of milk. I'm lactose intolerant -- even the sight of milk makes my stomach cringe. But if I ever won the Indy 500, I'd chug that thing like it was full of Shiner Bock.
W is for walking, because you're going to do a helluva lot of it. Case in point: when I head to Indy and stay with some friends up there the night before the race, well, they live on Auburn Street, the last street before you hit the Speedway. From their house, through the overnight lots, across Georgetown, and on around to the Southeast Vista where their seats are ... takes on average an hour to complete. An hour to walk about 15, 16 blocks. That's how many effing people there are at this thing.
X is for xhibits -- no, not the crappy rapper from "Pimp My Ride". Exhibits, which the Museum in the infield always has an awesome variety of. Most of the previous winning cars are in there. (Guaranteed to make me laugh hysterically: the Rachel's Potato Chip mobile that Eddie Cheever Jr. drove to victory in 1998). The funniest tribute I've ever seen there was for Diversity in Racing, and they showed a photo of all the African-American drivers to participate in the 500. There were two pictures up. Two black drivers in (at the time) 90 plus races. Unreal. (The two? Willie T. Ribs, and George Mack. That's ... that's truly an awful record on diversity. Someone needs to sic Reverend Sharpton on this, stat). There's also usually one or two drivers that they focus on, and pull in as much history and memorabilia for the guy that they can. (They had a Tony Stewart exhibit one year, that had both his 1999 IRL championship car, plus his 2002 NASCAR championship car. For anyone who says open wheelers can't win in NASCAR, I give you Tony Stewart. Kasey Kahne. Jeff Gordon. Ryan Newman. Robby Gordon. OK, scratch Robby. Although even he gave us a memorable moment, in 2002, when he drove off with the fuel hose still attached to his car. IndyCars use methanol fuel. Any pressure and ... yup, you guessed it, about 15 seconds after Gordon pulled out, a loud BOOM! and the fuel lid on the tanker went flying about 200 feet in the air, threatening the lives of everyone in the Pit Road Terrace. So no, Robby Gordon is not a good example of an open-wheel guy who succeeded in NASCAR. Especially since his two best "memories" at Indy are nearly killing a half a dozen fans with a fuel mishap, and losing the 1999 500 by running out of fuel on the final lap because he left his pit too soon on his final stop, not taking on enough fuel. He's just great. In a completely crappy kind of way).
Y is for yelling, which you will do a helluva lot of. Especially if your driver is in it. Or if your "driver" you got stuck with in one of the many gambling pools takes the lead. That never fails to crack me up either, when some schmuck gets stuck with an also-ran like EJ Viso or Mario Moreas or Sarah Fisher, and they stay out on like lap 109 to lead one lap, and some dude starts cheering like crazy, because their "driver" led a lap. I'm telling you, there's nothing like the Indy 500. Awesome pageantry, crazy fun atmosphere, you can bring in as much booze as you can carry (or wheel) in, and gambling is not only encouraged, you'll catch sh*t if you refuse to chip in your buck and buy a driver.
Finally, Z is for zzzzz's, because you'll need some by the time your weekend in Indy is over. You have to build in a day to recover, to just sleep off the excess. But you won't regret a second while you're there. Indy is the greatest place on earth. The 500 is the greatest race on earth. And the multi-block party the night before is truly an amazing scene to participate in. Here's hoping someone makes the trip up there with me come Memorial Day weekend. Anyone? Hello? (crickets chirping) ...
I'm referring to, of course, the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. The Indy 500 is my favorite sporting event (and the Brickyard 400 isn't far behind). I love everything about that place.
I can honestly say, every person should experience the 500 at least once in their lives. The parties on Saturday night before the race are beyond legendary. The race itself is usually an amazing spectacle (to say nothing of the pre-race traditions). Even my buddy Dusty, who will never be accused of liking motorsports of any kind, even he agrees with me that Indy is "something special" that "everyone should do at least once".
I say this ... because the "Voice of Reason" was in Indy earlier this week, and bought a kid's book for his new son called "I is for Indy". It then links each letter of the alphabet to something in the track's history. I thought this was a spectacular idea. So, since we're now less than two weeks away from NASCAR kicking off its season, and barely four months away from the 500, I figured I'd steal the gimmick and plug what I think of for Indy and each letter of the alphabet.
Here goes.
A is for AJ Foyt. One of the two or three greatest drivers ever, in any level or form of motorsports. He's the only driver in history to win the three biggest races on this continent (Daytona 500, Indy 500, 24 Hours of Daytona), and he also won the 24 Hours of Lemans to boot. Has won the most Indy 500's of any driver (four). Also is known for his legendary temper, as best evidenced in the 1997 race at Texas, when he and eventual winner Arie Luyendyk literally threw down in Victory Lane. If you go to an IndyCar race, you have to get a scanner just to listen to the Foyt communications (which are anything but "family friendly").
B is for the coolest tradition in motorsports: the Balloon launch as "Back Home Again in Indiana" winds down. Always brings multiple tears to my eye. There's awesome experiences at a sporting event ... and then there's locking arm in arm with your neighbor, swaying and singing along with the man who'll be discussed when we reach J. It's hokey, it doesn't come through properly on TV most of the time, but trust me -- you will get emotional when (brent musburger voice) you are looking live! as it happens.
C is for Tom Carnegie, the long-time PA Voice of Indy, who retired a couple years ago. Savvy sports fans will also recognize Carnegie as the Voice of Butler basketball ... and the PA announcer in the championship game of "Hoosiers" (playing himself, since the final was played at Hinkle Field House, Butler's home court). His voice is just incredible. Anytime Tom Carnegie is talking, you shut up and listen.
D is for drivers, 33 of them, who start every Indy 500 in eleven rows stretching three cars across. I am 99.99% certain that Indy is the only race in the world that starts three wide (most others are two across, while some are single file). What is amazing is how crappy many of these drivers were, especially after the split between CART and IndyCar in the mid 1990s. It's a definite sign of how awesome this race is, that no-talent hacks like Scott Sharp, Greg Ray, Elizeo Salazar, Felipe Giaffone, Airton Dare, George Mack, and Robbie McGehee can lead laps at this race, and still the track fills up.
E is for Bernie Ecclestone, the chairman of F1, who used to run the US Grand Prix at Indy every June. Until 2006, when (whoops) the tire created for the race was deemed so unsafe, that only six drivers dared to take the track that day. After that debacle, F1 has not been invited back. Which is perfectly fine by me. Although I do miss the sand area that used to be set up for the F1 race in turn four, if only because I prefer to sit in the Northwest Vista, and for the 500 and the Brickyard, they used to turn that sandy area into a beach-club type viewing area, complete with lounge chairs for the girls to lay out and watch the race in. You're damned right I came armed with binoculars that may or may not have led to some creepy stalker-type viewing.
F is for the greatness that is Florence Henderson. Every year ABC goes to commercial when she performs "God Bless America". For years, I hated this. Everything about the pre-race ceremonies in Indy should be televised. It's history. However, I've softened on this somewhat. I think it's neat that to truly see everything the 500 has to offer, you have to be there in person, because you'll never see Florence's amazing rendition every year on TV. (You can't find a whole lot of youtube! clips of it either). It's one part of Indy that belongs totally to Indy and the fans who are there. You have to hear her perform at least once. Especially since following her, is the one moment guaranteed to send chills down your spine. We'll hit that when we reach the letter T.
G is for Georgetown Street, the street that runs north / south on the far west side of the Speedway. To truly grasp just how huge this place is, you gotta stand at the corner of 16th and Georgetown, and just stare straight north. You can't even see where the hell the track ends. (It ends at 30th Street). And on raceday morning, you can't see fifteen feet in front of you, the street is so jammed with racing fans making their way to their seats.
H is for Mari Hulman (George), whose family owns IMS. If you've ever watched a race at Indy, you know who this chick is. She's the one on the podium who looks 134 year old. Always says the six best words in motorsports -- "Lady and Gentlemen, start your engines!" -- painstakingly slow, like she's drawing her last breath ... and then gives two huge thumbs up as she walks away from the microphone. That never fails to crack me up. She honestly thinks she's just said the six most important words in the world, like she's just performed the greatest task a human being can accomplish. I can't disagree with her thinking.
I is for the craziest place in America, the Infield on race day. It really is as ridiculously insane as the pictures and stories you can find on the Internet make it out to be. I have literally stood in line to enter the Speedway on race morning, behind a group of frat boys all wheeling dollies stacked to the top with cases of beer. It's a crazy all-out party in that place, and it doesn't even cost you $20 to get in the door most of the time. Ridiculous. Also in the infield? The only museum in the world I will pay to enter. If you have any sense of history, you will have goose bumps as you walk through the place (last time I was there, it was $3 to enter, and another $3 if you want to take a lap around the track. It's the best $6 combo on earth).
J is for Jim Nabors. I'm telling you, there is NOTHING cooler in all of sports than when Bob Jenkins (now the PA voice at Indy) introduces our "good friend, Mr. Jim Nabors!", and he welcomes us all "Back Home Again in Indiana". The balloon launch is the cherry on top. I love every damned thing about that place. But I especially love the last 15 minutes of the prerace intros, when you get Florence, Jim, Mari, and the performer for the letter T all up there. There's no way you can get through that foursome without (at least once each) tearing up, cheering, smiling, singing, and feeling a chill down your spine. Well, unless you're already passed out, drunk and shirtless, in the infield. Still, either way -- you're feeling amazing by the time the pace car comes onto the track.
K is for my favorite driver ever, Kenny Brack, who won the 1999 Indy 500. His final race was the 2005 Indy 500 (still my favorite race I have ever attended). One of my favorite pictures, and sadly I can't find it on my computer anywhere, was taken at the 2005 IndyCar race here at Kansas. Kenny headlines a band that was performing, and after the set was over, someone (I'm guessing it was Gregg or Brett) snapped a pic of me and Kenny. I was in post-season form that day -- Kenny looks completely composed, and I'm pretty much incoherent, holding a Coors Light, and bright red from the waist up from a sunburn. Nothing says "yup, I'm a classy racing fan" than taking a pic with your favorite driver while you're pushing a .30 and shirtless. I'm gonna miss the IndyCar race here, really badly ...
L is for lawns, be it front or back, where (literally) thousands of race fans sleep overnight. All of Speedway, Indiana turns into one gigantic outdoor camping adventure the week of the race, and people just keep packing the front lawns and grassy undeveloped areas as the week progresses. Come Saturday night, it's a freaking nuthouse out there. And I for one love it. You just can't beat being able to sit on the side of the road, watching chicks earn their beads, while enjoying a few frosty cold adult beverages and a joint. All while the cops just walk on by and do nothing. Indy is truly the greatest place on earth. Especially the night before a race.
M is for a trio of drivers, all from the same family, that is the most cursed family of them all. Mario, Michael, and Marco Andretti. Mario did win Indy once, in 1969. Michael is the driver with the most career starts at Indy (20) to never win the thing. He finished in the top 5 in more than half of those 20 starts, including his final one, when he led with 5 laps to go, led with 4 laps to go, and then was passed by ... his son Marco, who to this day is still the only driver to be passed for the lead on the final lap in the Indy 500. And the pass occurred literally 1,000 feet from the finish (about 1 second). On second thought, maybe the 2006 Indy 500 is my favorite.
N is for the Name attached to the garage area -- Gasoline Alley. It just sounds cool, doesn't it? "Gasoline Alley". My favorite part of the Indy 500 early in the day, is walking into the Paddock seats, and seeing all the cars lined up. It's cool -- you can actually head down and see them. You cross under the track through the Tunnel, and when you come out and walk past the Bombardier Pagoda, it's all there to see, to touch, to interact with. You can watch the cars file through inspection, you can talk to various drivers and celebrities, you can have pictures taken with said cars, drivers, and celebrities ... and it doesn't cost you one damned cent to do it. (Unlike Kansas Speedway, which charges you an extra $20 just to get to the damned infield, and another $15-$30 if you want to see anything once you get there. Ridiculous). Gasoline Alley rocks.
O is for One Hundred, as in this is the 100th anniversary year of the inaugural Indy 500 (although only like the 96th running, stupid World War II screwing up the math). If you thought Indy was a spectacle in prior years, how crazy is it going to be for the centennial? (Answer: wicked crazy). If ever there was a year to give up your 500 cherry, or go back for more fun, this is it.
P is for Danica Patrick, who revitalized the Indy 500 in dramatic fashion beginning with her first appearance in the race, in 2005. I've been blessed enough in life to attend many sporting events, and I certainly have been in loud venues before, be it for sports or music ... but I have NEVER heard a reaction as loud and proud as the one that went up on lap 189 of the 2005 Indy 500, when Danica took the lead on the final restart, and held onto it for five laps before having to fall back to save fuel. There isn't a decibel meter to register how crazy loud it got in that place when she passed Dan Wheldon.
Q is for qualifying, which is unique for the Indy 500. I still liked the old procedure better, when you qualified 11 cars on day one, 11 cars on day two, 11 cars on day three, and then "Billy Boat Memorial Bump Day", when drivers not already in the field could knock out a driver that was in the field by posting a faster time. What made Bump Day (named in my circle of racing fan friends as "Billy Boat Memorial Bump Day", because poor Billy was on the bump damned near every year for a solid decade) cool, and still makes it cool, is that you aren't necessarily bumping number 33. You're bumping the slowest qualifying time. In the past, you could be knocking number 11 or number 10 from the field (which happened in 2005). Also, Bump Day always got crazy, because that's when the NASCAR guys would arrive and try to get into the field. Now, there's only two days of qualifying, the first 22 slots fill on Saturday, then the first 11 drivers to go out on Sunday fill the field, and then the bumping begins. "Billy Boat Memorial Bump Day" isn't as awesome as it used to be, but it's still the best qualifying day in motorsports.
R is for The Captain, the winningest owner at Indy, Roger Penske. Penske has won this race nearly 20 times. Odds are, if you're a top flight driver, you've spent some time in one of Roger's cars. In this decade alone, he's seen Helio Castroneves win for him three times, saw Sam Hornish Jr. win the closest finish in Indy history (the 2006 race where he passed Marco at the last second), and saw Gil DeFerran (a very underrated driver) drink from the milk. Also have to give his old sponsor a shoutout, our "good friends" at Marlboro. Other than the first year they ran at Kansas (2001), I don't think I ever paid to attend a race there, because Marlboro always sent "loyal smokers" like me free tickets.
S is for Tomas "Crash" Scheckter, one of the biggest talents in IndyCar, but a guy who can't avoid the retaining wall to save his life. His most "infamous" crash was in Texas in 2002, when he took out his teammate, Eddie Cheever Jr. Unfortunately for "Crash", Cheever was also his boss. Cheever gave one of the great post-wreck pressers of all time after that incident, dropping some salty language on "Crash", prophetically noting "he's going to kill someone if he keeps driving" and finishing by saying "that ass has driven his final lap for me". Nothing like getting fired on national television in the middle of a race. Scheckter also has the "honor" of leading the most laps in a race at Indy, and failing to win it. (If you guessed hit the wall on lap 189, congratulations, you're a winner!) Still, I like "Crash". If only because you're guaranteed to see a spectacular one if he's on the track. (None more spectacular than the 2003 fall race at Texas, where "Crash" took out my favorite driver with 11 laps to go, a wreck so horrific that (a) the IRL immediately called the race, (b) Paul Page nearly had a stroke in the booth from viewing it, because (c) everyone assumed Brack was dead. Pull up the clip on youtube! sometime. It'll sicken you. And then shake your head in amazement that Brack lived to drive again).
T is for the trumpeter who plays "Taps". Of all the pre-race ceremonial events, nothing resonates more than this. A solo trumpeter from the Purdue Marching Band, playing this song in tribute to all those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice for freedom over the previous year. A completely chill-inducing minute, capped by the fact that literally noone makes a sound the entire time. It's 300,000 people completely silent, the only noise being the trumpet. Amazing on television. Jaw-droppingly awesome in person.
U is for the most successful family at Indy, the Unsers. Al, Little Al, and Bobby have (I believe) 7 victories between them. Plus, the comedic value of Little Al is beyond priceless. This is a man who hosted a "come snort some coke with a group of strippers!" party in his trailer one year. A dude who was busted for DUI at 9 in the morning for driving the wrong way down the Vegas Strip. He also was a helluva driver, and prior to the 2006 race, Little Al won the closest race in Indy history, holding off Michael Andretti. I love Little Al, in case you can't tell. The guy is just awesome, in a total trainwreck kind of way.
V is for Victory Lane, where the coolest post-race tradition occurs. The winner of the Indy 500 every year has his car hauled into position, where he's handed a winner's wreath ... and a jug of milk. Which the winner promptly takes a swig of, before usually pouring it all over his pit crew and owner. No other race ends with the winner enjoying a glass of milk. I'm lactose intolerant -- even the sight of milk makes my stomach cringe. But if I ever won the Indy 500, I'd chug that thing like it was full of Shiner Bock.
W is for walking, because you're going to do a helluva lot of it. Case in point: when I head to Indy and stay with some friends up there the night before the race, well, they live on Auburn Street, the last street before you hit the Speedway. From their house, through the overnight lots, across Georgetown, and on around to the Southeast Vista where their seats are ... takes on average an hour to complete. An hour to walk about 15, 16 blocks. That's how many effing people there are at this thing.
X is for xhibits -- no, not the crappy rapper from "Pimp My Ride". Exhibits, which the Museum in the infield always has an awesome variety of. Most of the previous winning cars are in there. (Guaranteed to make me laugh hysterically: the Rachel's Potato Chip mobile that Eddie Cheever Jr. drove to victory in 1998). The funniest tribute I've ever seen there was for Diversity in Racing, and they showed a photo of all the African-American drivers to participate in the 500. There were two pictures up. Two black drivers in (at the time) 90 plus races. Unreal. (The two? Willie T. Ribs, and George Mack. That's ... that's truly an awful record on diversity. Someone needs to sic Reverend Sharpton on this, stat). There's also usually one or two drivers that they focus on, and pull in as much history and memorabilia for the guy that they can. (They had a Tony Stewart exhibit one year, that had both his 1999 IRL championship car, plus his 2002 NASCAR championship car. For anyone who says open wheelers can't win in NASCAR, I give you Tony Stewart. Kasey Kahne. Jeff Gordon. Ryan Newman. Robby Gordon. OK, scratch Robby. Although even he gave us a memorable moment, in 2002, when he drove off with the fuel hose still attached to his car. IndyCars use methanol fuel. Any pressure and ... yup, you guessed it, about 15 seconds after Gordon pulled out, a loud BOOM! and the fuel lid on the tanker went flying about 200 feet in the air, threatening the lives of everyone in the Pit Road Terrace. So no, Robby Gordon is not a good example of an open-wheel guy who succeeded in NASCAR. Especially since his two best "memories" at Indy are nearly killing a half a dozen fans with a fuel mishap, and losing the 1999 500 by running out of fuel on the final lap because he left his pit too soon on his final stop, not taking on enough fuel. He's just great. In a completely crappy kind of way).
Y is for yelling, which you will do a helluva lot of. Especially if your driver is in it. Or if your "driver" you got stuck with in one of the many gambling pools takes the lead. That never fails to crack me up either, when some schmuck gets stuck with an also-ran like EJ Viso or Mario Moreas or Sarah Fisher, and they stay out on like lap 109 to lead one lap, and some dude starts cheering like crazy, because their "driver" led a lap. I'm telling you, there's nothing like the Indy 500. Awesome pageantry, crazy fun atmosphere, you can bring in as much booze as you can carry (or wheel) in, and gambling is not only encouraged, you'll catch sh*t if you refuse to chip in your buck and buy a driver.
Finally, Z is for zzzzz's, because you'll need some by the time your weekend in Indy is over. You have to build in a day to recover, to just sleep off the excess. But you won't regret a second while you're there. Indy is the greatest place on earth. The 500 is the greatest race on earth. And the multi-block party the night before is truly an amazing scene to participate in. Here's hoping someone makes the trip up there with me come Memorial Day weekend. Anyone? Hello? (crickets chirping) ...
Monday, January 24, 2011
don't give up, mr. president. don't give up!
I type this less than 24 hours from (arguably) the biggest speech of President Obama's career.
He won the hearts of liberals and many independents, with his amazing speech at the 2004 DNC. I still remember that amazing night -- I remember standing, applauding, cheering, his incredible speech that night on the back deck of the old house. I even remember the ex-roommate, the "Voice of Reason", as big a political junkie as me, coming out to watch a bit of it, and noting "wow, this guy might go places". Yup, yup he did.
He won the election with his speech at fake mile high in 2008 (and more specifically, his debates in 2008).
Tuesday night, I would argue ... is the biggest moment of President Obama's political career.
Everyone and his brother is urging him to move to the center, to be "conciliatory", to acknowledge the midterms and move right.
I argue ... it's the worst thing he can do.
Move Left!, Mr. President. You will not regret it.
Considering Secretary of State Clinton has little to no ambition to challenge the President in the primaries in 2012, the President has all but locked up the nomination. A move to the center makes no sense, considering anyone who leans left hates where this Congress is heading, and will vote for re-election at this point over whoever the Republicans nominate. (That would be me).
Considering the Republicans won't nominate anyone who doesn't pass the far-right religious kook extremist test, a move to the center also makes no sense, because unless you believe religious extremists should rule the nation, any sensible person will vote for your re-election over said extremist.
(And if Michael Bloomberg runs from the center? Please. As much as the far right and far left hate each other, they share a combined hatred of political opportunists trying to buy elections. Which is what Mr. Bloomberg is. He'd be dead on arrival, so to speak, politically).
Tomorrow night, Mr. President, in the terms an addicted gambler like me, and half the readers of this site can understand: "double down".
Do NOT fold on Keysenian economics. They are NOT a failure. For all the far right b*tching about the stimulus (the ARRA act), they ignore than over 60% of the "spending" was tax cuts. As usual, you can look a right winger in the eye, present him or her with the truth ... and they'll believe the lie. We who believe that government spending CAN stimulate the economy, or at least stabilize it, as ARRA did, will not water down our beliefs to give the Republicans what they want. The facts speak for themselves. Tax cuts only bankrupt the government, and don't stimulate the economy. Because people always pocket what they "save".
Mr. President, tomorrow night, double down on the social agenda. You signed an absolute good into law last December, abolishing "don't ask / don't tell". It is an ABSOLUTE good. Do NOT back down from it. You signed into law the single most important social advance since President Kennedy backed the Civil Rights legislation, and arguably the most important advance for human rights since President Lincoln freed zero slaves with his Emancipation Proclamation. (Reason 1,006,938 why Lincoln was a genius: his "proclamation" freed exactly zero people, yet it "freed" millions by its words. The dude was a freaking genius, well ahead of his time).
Mr. President, tomorrow night, embrace the ideology that got you elected.
Mr. Obama, I did not vote for you in 2008. I supported your opponent in the primary, and I voted for your opponent in the general election. Having said that, please, sir: do NOT abandon those of us who compose your base. Do NOT move right. Do NOT move center. Embrace the base. Embrace the left.
Because the 2012 election will ultimately come down to a battle of extremes. There is no way the tea party folks will alllow anyone other than a far-right extremist to win the Republican nomination. Sir, embrace the far left. Present a polar opposite.
Because I firmly believe, if a sensible person is in the voting booth, and has to choose between compromising personal freedom, liberty, and social justice, versus censoring all of the above, a smart person will err on the side of freedom, liberty, and social justice. Move left sir. Do NOT move to the center. The center destroys you before the re-elect campaign begins. The move to the left ... ensures you stay relevent ....
He won the hearts of liberals and many independents, with his amazing speech at the 2004 DNC. I still remember that amazing night -- I remember standing, applauding, cheering, his incredible speech that night on the back deck of the old house. I even remember the ex-roommate, the "Voice of Reason", as big a political junkie as me, coming out to watch a bit of it, and noting "wow, this guy might go places". Yup, yup he did.
He won the election with his speech at fake mile high in 2008 (and more specifically, his debates in 2008).
Tuesday night, I would argue ... is the biggest moment of President Obama's political career.
Everyone and his brother is urging him to move to the center, to be "conciliatory", to acknowledge the midterms and move right.
I argue ... it's the worst thing he can do.
Move Left!, Mr. President. You will not regret it.
Considering Secretary of State Clinton has little to no ambition to challenge the President in the primaries in 2012, the President has all but locked up the nomination. A move to the center makes no sense, considering anyone who leans left hates where this Congress is heading, and will vote for re-election at this point over whoever the Republicans nominate. (That would be me).
Considering the Republicans won't nominate anyone who doesn't pass the far-right religious kook extremist test, a move to the center also makes no sense, because unless you believe religious extremists should rule the nation, any sensible person will vote for your re-election over said extremist.
(And if Michael Bloomberg runs from the center? Please. As much as the far right and far left hate each other, they share a combined hatred of political opportunists trying to buy elections. Which is what Mr. Bloomberg is. He'd be dead on arrival, so to speak, politically).
Tomorrow night, Mr. President, in the terms an addicted gambler like me, and half the readers of this site can understand: "double down".
Do NOT fold on Keysenian economics. They are NOT a failure. For all the far right b*tching about the stimulus (the ARRA act), they ignore than over 60% of the "spending" was tax cuts. As usual, you can look a right winger in the eye, present him or her with the truth ... and they'll believe the lie. We who believe that government spending CAN stimulate the economy, or at least stabilize it, as ARRA did, will not water down our beliefs to give the Republicans what they want. The facts speak for themselves. Tax cuts only bankrupt the government, and don't stimulate the economy. Because people always pocket what they "save".
Mr. President, tomorrow night, double down on the social agenda. You signed an absolute good into law last December, abolishing "don't ask / don't tell". It is an ABSOLUTE good. Do NOT back down from it. You signed into law the single most important social advance since President Kennedy backed the Civil Rights legislation, and arguably the most important advance for human rights since President Lincoln freed zero slaves with his Emancipation Proclamation. (Reason 1,006,938 why Lincoln was a genius: his "proclamation" freed exactly zero people, yet it "freed" millions by its words. The dude was a freaking genius, well ahead of his time).
Mr. President, tomorrow night, embrace the ideology that got you elected.
Mr. Obama, I did not vote for you in 2008. I supported your opponent in the primary, and I voted for your opponent in the general election. Having said that, please, sir: do NOT abandon those of us who compose your base. Do NOT move right. Do NOT move center. Embrace the base. Embrace the left.
Because the 2012 election will ultimately come down to a battle of extremes. There is no way the tea party folks will alllow anyone other than a far-right extremist to win the Republican nomination. Sir, embrace the far left. Present a polar opposite.
Because I firmly believe, if a sensible person is in the voting booth, and has to choose between compromising personal freedom, liberty, and social justice, versus censoring all of the above, a smart person will err on the side of freedom, liberty, and social justice. Move left sir. Do NOT move to the center. The center destroys you before the re-elect campaign begins. The move to the left ... ensures you stay relevent ....
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
chiefs season in review
Here are my final year end thoughts for the 2010 Kansas City Chiefs, along with a few wishful thoughts for 2011.
As always, these are my opinions, and my opinions only. I highly doubt you will agree with all of them. That's what the comments section is for. A couple grades, in particular, I think are going to anger the Chiefs fans that read this. If so, too bad. Open your eyes, and see things like I do. Or blast away at me in the comments, it's all good.
* Best game: Chiefs 34, Titans 14 week 16. The most dominant performance the Chiefs put on all season, scoring on five of their first six possessions en route to a 24 point halftime lead. Honorable mention: Chiefs 10, donkeys 6 week 13. Anytime you beat those asshats, it's a good thing. Anytime you beat them, and they promptly fire their head coach less than 24 hours later? It's a great thing.
* Worst game: Ravens 30, Chiefs 7 wildcard round. No, it wasn't the worst game we played all year, but certainly it was the worst outcome. And the second half was a total disaster. Dishonorable mention: Chargers 31, Chiefs 0 week 14. The worst Chiefs offensive performance of my lifetime. And the defense wasn't much better.
* Favorite play: Chiefs hold on 4th and goal, vs Chargers week 1. Nobody who was there that night will ever forget the ending. And anyone who was there and left early, will be kicking themselves in the ass until the day they die about walking out on an instant classic. As well you should be – you never leave a competitive game early, no matter what the weather is like. Hell, I should be kicking your ass for you if you left early. Honorable mention: the McCluster to Cassel to D Bowe reverse flea flicker for a touchdown, vs 49ers week 3. The coolest play call all season long.
* Least Favorite play: the 4th and 1 pitch, vs Ravens wildcard round. One of the four or five worst play calls in franchise history. Dishonorable mention: D Bowe dropping a gimme touchdown, at Colts week 5. In hindsight, it didn't cost us a thing, but at the time, it certainly cost us a chance to bury the Colts, and all but wrap up the division by mid-October.
* Favorite Ongoing Storyline: Tony Gonzalez losing again in the postseason. Tony G was dead to me after the denver game in 2008, when he put personal stats over winning for the first time in 345 days. I don't get it Chiefs fans. This guy QUIT on us. He demanded out. We weren't good enough for him. I'm thrilled that in the two seasons since the trade, the Chiefs and Falcons have achieved the same end result -- one playoff-less season, one division championship, zero playoff wins. Honorable mention: the real Tony we should be cheering for, Tony Richardson, still alive for a Super Bowl berth.
* Least Favorite Ongoing Storyline: the labor situation. I mean, this isn't the NBA, where at least 10-12 franchise are legitimately hemorrhaging money and would actually make money by not playing a single game. Every NFL team turns a profit, most of them an obscene one. If you can't figure out a way to divide up $9 billion in revenue, you're dumber than Lloyd Christmas. Dishonorable mention: the "sellouts" at Arrowhead. I still wish Clark Hunt and/or Channel 5 hadn't bought up the Titans tickets. Let the die-hards who sat through three years of crap for this season, have their moment, and let everyone else who for whatever reason didn't get tickets re-examine just how die-hard of a fan they are.
* Most Valuable Chief, Offense: Ryan Lilja, RG. Might be the best free agent signing by this franchise since Carl Peterson took a chance on an injured Ravens RB named Priest Holmes ten years ago. Honorable mention: Jamaal Charles, RB. The best season by a Chiefs running back since LJ in 2006.
* Most Valuable Chief, Defense: Tamba Hali, OLB. Became a force as a pass rusher, and remained effective in pass coverage as well. It's a crime he's not Pro Bowl bound. Honorable mention: Brandon Flowers, CB. Along with Brandon Carr, the Chiefs are set at corner for the next six to seven years, barring injury. Flowers became the shut-down corner the Chiefs really haven't had since James Hasty in the late 1990s.
* Least Valuable Chief, Offense: Brodie Croyle, QB. In the words of Rage Against the Machine, "f*ck it, cut the cord!" His performance in San Diego was criminitely bad. Yes, it was so awful that I had to haul out a word from Dustyland to describe it. Dishonorable mention: Chris Chambers, WR. So awful at his job that we signed a white dude off the street for the playoff game (Kevin Curtis), and gave him more playing time in that game than Chris got.
* Least Valuable Chief, Defense: Tyson Jackson, DE. A complete bust along the lines of Ryan Sims and Junior Siavii at this point. Probably has one more training camp to prove himself before the Chiefs cut him and move on. Dishonorable mention: Donald Washington, CB. It's not that he played poorly, it's that he could never stay healthy. Washington is a solid corner when the Chiefs go cover three if he's healthy. In 2010, that wasn't often.
* Most Improved Chief, Offense: Brandon Albert, LT. Went from a decent lineman, to someone to protect the blind side for the next decade. This dude has four or five Pro Bowls in him. Honorable mention: Barry Richardson. Went from radioactive disaster, to mild catastrophe. Chiefs definitely need to upgrade the right tackle position this offseason.
* Most Improved Chief, Defense: Wallace Gilberry, DE. A year ago, I was ripping Todd Haley for allowing this guy to even be active, let alone be on the field. Now? Like a lot of things in 2009, I was too short-sighted to see the payoff. Gilberry has developed into a solid pass rushing end, and his potential is sky high at this point. Honorable mention: Jovan Belcher, LB. Another player with huge potential that took a giant step forward in 2010.
* Least Improved Chief, Offense: Chris Chambers, WR. The worst Chiefs free agent signing at the position since Brett Perriman was attempting (and usually failing) to find the "definition of the sideline" in 1997. Dishonorable mention: Leonard Pope, RB / TE. More a numbers-thing, as he was squeezed for playing time by Castille, and the emergence of Moeaki. But I expected more from Pope than what we saw this year.
* Least Improved Chief, Defense: Tyson Jackson, DE. At this point, it might be in the Chiefs best interest to just give up on him. Especially with Shaun Smith and Gilberry perfectly capable of handling the position. Dishonorable mention: Corey Mays, LB. Didn't hear much from him this season, after a decent 2009 campaign. I'd be shocked if Mays is on the roster in 2011.
Individual Grades, Defense:
* Tyson Jackson, DE: F. Couldn't stay healthy early, and was a waste of space when he was on the field. Arguably the most disappointing Chiefs draft pick since Ryan Sims. His future with the team will be known early on -- if the Chiefs go DE on day one or two, expect Jackson to be cut in August.
* Shaun Smith, DE: B+. Could not have asked more of Smith, up to and including a Fridge Perry-like touchdown run in Seattle. Great free agent pickup by the Chiefs front office. Would be shocked if he is not starting next September at LDE.
* Ron Edwards, DT: A. Quite possibly the most underrated Chiefs player of my lifetime. Every year it seems like the Chiefs try to replace him, and every year Edwards responds with a solid effort, solid stats, and great attitude and work ethic. Hopefully he sticks around for another year or two and earns an ultimate payoff for all his efforts to date.
* Glenn Dorsey, DE: B-. Had his best season as a pro, but it still isn't good enough for a top five draft pick from three years ago. Chiefs have a big decision to make on Dorsey come the end of 2011 -- extend, or let him walk. His play next season should determine the answer to that question.
* Wallace Gilberry, DE: A. What a tremendous season for this guy. Even if 2010 is his ceiling, we've got at worst another Joe Phillips type end. And I'm perfectly fine with that.
* Mike Vrabel, LB: C-. He's definitely at the end of the line. If he does return in 2011, it should be strictly in the veteran backup role he's best suited to play at this point.
* Andy Studebaker, LB: C. Nowhere near as effective in 2010 as he was in 2009 ... but still a solid special teams player, a decent coverage backer when the Chiefs go cover three, and you can do a helluva lot worse at backup LB than this guy.
* Jovan Belcher, LB: B. Had a solid season at middle backer ... but incredibly, stepped up for his biggest game in the wildcard game, posting 11 tackles, and nearly doubling his sack output for the season. Is that a sign of things to come ... or a guy who plays bigger when the moment gets bigger? Either way, it's a good sign, since next year's schedule (more on that to come) offers a ton of big games.
* Corey Mays, LB: F. A complete disaster. Will be stunned to see him back in 2011.
* Derrick Johnson, LB: A-. If he had better hands, he'd have earned an A+, but dropping at least 2 gimme interceptions is a downer in my eyes. Glad to see him fully embrace the team concept the administration is pushing, and he earned his contract extension.
Having said that ... let's flash back to 2005 for a minute. The Chiefs are on the clock, picking 15th. Their most glaring need at the moment is a game-changing linebacker. Derrick Johnson is there for the taking. That is who the "Voice of Reason" strongly backed.
On the other end of the couch, I argued strongly that the time to draft Trent Green's replacement, was now ... because Aaron Rodgers was still on the clock. G and I disagree on a lot of things ... but rarely have we been so heated in disagreement as we were about this pick.
(Meanwhile, on the phone in Raleigh, Brent was desperately hoping I was right, to avoid paying off yet another ridiculous bet he and Gregg made, this one involving buying a player’s jersey depending on who the Chiefs drafted. I believe he had Antrel Rolle or Pacman Jones. I know Gregg had DJ. The lesson? As always, never bet against Gregg when he’s got something riding on the outcome. Unless it’s a pai gow table at the Isle on a Friday night. Then bet on crappy cards, zero fortune bonus payouts, and a long night of steady defeat for all at the table).
In the end, the Chiefs took DJ, and the Packers (using the strategory I was acting under the influence of) grabbed up Aaron Rodgers nine picks later.
So I ask you Chiefs fans: five years later, who was right? Me, for wanting to draft a stud franchise QB, or "The Voice of Reason", for sticking to "draft your biggest need"? Both Rodgers and DJ are going to have solid pro careers. And up until this postseason at least, you could argue this fight was a draw to date. But only one of them can alter the fate of a franchise, as this January is proving. And that one ain't DJ. More on this to come when I get to my Chiefs draft desires ...
* Demarrio Williams, LB: D. Has been a total bust since arriving via free agency three years ago. Should be more than a backup / spot starter given the talent he has, and the amount of money we're paying him. Another player likely to be an ex-Chief in 2011.
* Tamba Hali, LB: A+. Went from solid contributor to defensive anchor in 2010. No Chiefs player developed more this year than Tamba did. I can't wait to see where this kid is at two to three years from now.
* Brandon Flowers, CB: B+. My only criticism is that Flowers takes too many chances trying for the interception, rather than simply defending the pass, or wrapping up the receiver after a short gain. He'll learn to settle eventually, rather than force the issue. He's too talented not to.
* Javier Arenas, CB: C+. Had a couple solid kick returns, but was not as effective in the cover three as he needs to be. Still, for a rookie season, he did a fine job, and figures to only get better.
* Brandon Carr, CB: B+. The underrated Brandon Brother. I like Carr, a lot. Solid fundamentally, always in position to make the play, rarely gets burned deep. The Chiefs are set at corner through at least 2016 at this point, and that's a very good thing.
* Travis Daniels, CB: D. Didn't play much, and didn't do much when he did play. His ceiling is likely a cover three corner.
* Donald Washington, CB: F. This season was a catastrophe for him. Let's hope for better things in 2011, because the talent is there.
* Jon McGraw, S: B+. Has a great knack for being around the ball. Go back and watch his INT of peyton manning that should have set up the Chiefs for the win (the very next play was the Bowe TD drop) -- McGraw totally lulled manning into making a horrendous throw, that he then stepped in and picked. Great fundamentals, rock solid tackler, only concern is the injury bug -- he missed four games due to injury, and one of them (at denver), the Chiefs got killed because of it.
* Eric Berry, S: B-. Didn't quite deliver as great of a rookie year as we could have hoped for, but was certainly in the top 5-6% of rookies in the league in terms of making a positive impact on the field. Will only keep getting better.
* Kendrick Lewis, S: A+. I am friggin in love with this kid. I haven't had a ridiculous man-crush on a Chiefs defender like this since "Brave" Bennie Sapp stormed the donkeys bench and taunted them after the Thanksgiving win four years ago. Like McGraw, Lewis always is in position to make the play. The Chiefs have an embarrassment of riches at safety. That's a very good thing.
* Dusty Colquitt, P: D. Not one of Dusty C's finest years. He gets great hangtime, and when he's allowed to just drill it, he usually does. But he's horrendous when punting between the 40s -- dude couldn't land a punt inside the 10 if he was given 100 chances to do so. The Chiefs can – and must – improve at this position. I wouldn't be shocked if they opted to try to do so with someone not named Dusty C. I kind of hope they don’t though – I still crack myself up with the tired, ridiculous “Dusty C’s punt as high as Dusty J? Nope” joke that never was funny, to anyone other than me.
Individual Grades, Offense:
* Brandon Albert, T: B+. What would you rather have Chiefs fans -- Albert and Jamaal Charles, or Jared Allen? If Carl's last gift to this franchise was the tremendous (so far) 2008 draft, then this trade has to be the bow on top of the package. Albert figures to be a 10-12 year mainstay protecting the blind side. If you've solved the left tackle slot, the rest of the offensive line becomes relatively easy to fix.
* Barry Richardson, T: C. A perfectly league-average backup. You need a couple of those on the line. Was decent when forced into action. I can see him being a Wade Smith / Marcus Spears type player, who lasts for 10-12 years but floats from team to team every couple seasons.
* Brian Waters, G: B. His age is beginning to show, but he's still one of the 4 or 5 best guards in the game, and possibly the best undrafted free agent of the 2000s. Still has 2-3 solid years left in him.
* Jon Asamoah, G: B. Solid rookie season. Didn't get embarrassed in his one forced start. Has a bright future in front of him.
* Casey Weigmann, C: A. I can't recall a single botched snap under center this season. I honestly can't recall a botched snap in the shotgun either. If you don't f*ck up the snap once, and you play center? You're getting an A from Professor Steve. Rock solid season for the veteran, and hopefully he's got another one or two of those in him.
* Ryan Lilja, G: A+. The local kid comes home, and makes a name for himself. The best offensive lineman pickup the Chiefs have made since they traded for Willie Roaf a decade ago.
* Ryan O'Callaghan, T: C. A position the Chiefs must improve, especially given the beefed-up schedule next fall. If you think O'Callaghan is a longer-term answer, you fill this in free agency for the short-term fix. If (like me) you think O'Callaghan is at best a career backup / spot starter, you fill this in day one or two of the draft.
* Terrence Copper, WR: B-. Didn't do anything great, didn't do anything horrendous. The Chiefs desperately need a possession receiver, the dude you look to on 3rd and 6, who always makes the catch. We haven't had that really since Kevin Lockett in the late 90s. (Well, other than Tony Gonzalez. I mean a wide receiver who can fill that role). Copper isn't the answer. But he's a decent third / slot receiver option with decent hands who's worth keeping around for 2011.
* Verran Tucker, WR: B. Has more of a future on special teams than as a wide receiver. Still, had a great touchdown catch in oakland, which gives him a slightly higher grade than Copper.
* Chris Chambers, WR: F. An abject embarrassment to the Red and Gold this season. I haven't been more disappointed in a Chiefs receiver since Brett Perriman. And at least Perriman had an excuse -- it's been fourteen years, and I still can't figure out where the hell the sideline was in that Monday nighter at oakland either.
* Leonard Pope, TE: C. I expected more, but I'm not blaming Pope for his downfall in production. Our third round draft choice was really that good. A solid backup TE / fourth receiving option. Also valuable because he can lead block, and provide the safety valve in a tight formation.
* Tony Moeaki, TE: A+. Should be the Chiefs Rookie of the Year, but I'm guessing he won't get it. Should fill the tight end position competently for quite a while going forward.
* Jake O'Connell, TE: D. Saw little to no playing time on offense, and was mediocre at best on special teams. Plus, I hate guys who tat up their arms with their initials. I mean, really? That's what you opt for when you go get inked up, is a huge Detroit-script J and O? Lame. Very, very lame.
* Dwayne Bowe, WR: B+. The Indianapolis drop cost him an A. Look it, I don't care if he's a prima donna, I don't care if he's an ass to the fans, and I especially don't care to find out what long-lost cousin of his we're bringing into training camp this upcoming season. All I care about is that you catch the ball when it's thrown to you. Bowe did that very well the last 2/3 of the season, including an awesome 3rd and 19 conversion against the Titans that he took 70 yards to the end zone, a play we never seem to make, yet always have dropped on us. Let's hope that's a trend that continues.
* Dexter McCluster, WR: D. Yes, this is harsh. Yes, Dex was highly effective when he was on the field. But, how often was he on the field? He missed over half the season with various injuries. He's a smallish dude who relies on jukes and fakes to make his yardage (along with his speed). I don't like his odds of staying healthy going forward (which is why I think using him on returns, other than at THE critical moment of a game, is a huge mistake -- you're risking injury for no good reason, especially when you have a very solid returner in Arenas that can do the same thing you're asking Dex to do). The jury's out for this kid with me. I pray I'm wrong, but I don't see him having an effective career.
* Thomas Jones, RB: C. For someone who was brought in to be the short-yardage guy, and the pound-the-line guy, he was shockingly ineffective at converting 3rd and 4th and short. How many times this year did we run it on 3rd and 2 or less, and then have to make a 4th down decision? Way too many times. I expect Jones to return, but the Chiefs should be looking to upgrade this roster spot. Still earns a passing grade because he achieved his primary purpose – he saved Charles from wear, tear, and injury by absorbing the bulk of the carries. If only we’d had a TJ back when LJ was hauling the rock, maybe he’d have a better legacy and career in the eyes of Chiefs Nation.
* Jackie Battle, RB: D. Another in a long line of wasted Chiefs draft picks at the position. Battle at best is a garbage time runner.
* Jamaal Charles, RB: A+. I had no complaints with how the Chiefs used Charles. They used him and Jones exactly as I would have. And exactly as they should going forward. Charles can't hold up over 300 plus carries every year. He can't. He can, however, be highly effective over 200-220 carries. He's not Barry Sanders. But he sure as all hell can be another Roger Craig type back who posts sick numbers on limited carries, and posts one huge burst a game. (With TJ or a suitable replacement serving as his Tom Rathman). And I'm perfectly good with that.
* Tony Castille, RB: B. I'd like to see the Chiefs use Leonard Pope more in this spot. I think he'd be a great fullback, especially given his receiving capabilities. But Castille did a tremendous job this season. You don't have the best running game in the league unless you've got some tremendous blocking going on, and it starts at the point of attack, which is Castille.
* Brodie Croyle, QB: F. Now 0-10 as a starter in the league. I'd be shocked if he gets a chance to stretch that much past 12 or 13 by the time his career is over.
* Tyler Palko, QB: F. Horrendous the one time he saw action (vs the raiders). Will be nothing more than a clipboard holder going forward.
* Matt Cassel, QB: D+. I know, I know, I can hear you all screaming now. "You gave him a D! How? What QB did you watch this year Stevo?" To which I respond, I watched a QB who crapped his pants at home against all our divisional rivals, who looked rattled in Indy, posted his two worst games of the season in his last two starts, and really delivered only two rock-solid starts this year (at St. Louis, vs Tennessee). Yes, it is highly probable the oakland and Baltimore abortions were due to lingering affects from the appendicitis.
Having said that, I don't think you can win a championship in this league with a middle of the road QB. Sure, you can win, as in "win 10-11 games, win the division or sneak in as a wildcard, and then get rolled in your first game". My other rooting interest did that for a decade, his name was Chad Pennington. (And I say that as someone who still has a Pennington Jets jersey hanging proudly in his closet. I like Pennington, a lot. But he’s not a championship quarterback. And neither is Cassel).
As a Chiefs fan, just reaching the playoffs? That's not good enough for me anymore. That's been what we've had, for better or for worse, for 20 years and counting. We've had a few solid seasons by QBs since the late 1980s, but never have we started a guy under center who you could confidently say "that guy can win on the road in January".
Say what you want about The Sanchize, and God knows I cringe a little every time he lets it fly … he's 4-1 on the road in the playoffs. He plays his best, when the stakes are the highest. Yes, the Jets D was a huge reason why they won last week ... but who put them in position to get there with a textbook pass to Braylon Edwards in Indy the week before? Who put the Jets ahead for good with a textbook sideline pass to Santonio Holmes last week?
I firmly believe the Chiefs must upgrade the quarterback position if we hope to ever achieve more than what we got this season. Matt Cassel is a great guy. He's a decent quarterback. But can you see Cassel leading this team to a victory in Foxboro in January? To a win at the Ketchup Bottle in the AFC Title Game? Can you see him surviving and overcoming the crowd in Indy in the divisional round? I can't. Which is why, when I get to the Chiefs drafting thoughts, I will once again scream to anyone who will listen "DO NOT REPEAT 2005! DO NOT REPEAT 2005!" if the opportunity comes up.
* Ryan Succup, K: B+. Didn't miss a single kick that cost the Chiefs a game. That's all you can ask out of your place kicker. Only reason this isn't an A is because he shanked the game winner against Buffalo, before finally making it as time expired. Still, he's by far and away the most reliable, consistent kicker we've had since Pete Stoyanovich.
Individual Grades, Coordinator, Head Coach, Front Office and Ownership:
* Romeo Crennel, Defensive Coordinator: B+. Realistically, he took the same defense that played like dogcrap for the last three years, and through schemes and coaching, turned it into a serviceable unit that kept the Chiefs afloat in a ton of games this year. Optimistically, this is the worst talent he's going to have going forward -- the unit will only keep getting better. I love where this team is headed on the defensive side of the ball.
* Chuck Weis, Offensive Coordinator: B-. The playoff game turned on one stupid play call. Other than that, and the debacle in San Diego (which I blame far more on Brodie than Chuck), he didn't have a bad game all season. He somehow made Matt Cassel look like an average NFL QB. He rode the Chiefs rushing attack to exploit the other team's passing weaknesses (seriously, his game at Seattle is a clinic in how to exploit your opponent, it's a masterpiece). I wish him nothing but the best at Florida going forward, and thank him for a tremendous, franchise-re-establishing season.
* Todd Haley, Head Coach: B. Love the riverboat gambler mentality ... because anyone who has ever played Madden knows how retarded it is to consistently punt on 4th and short, or settle for 3 inside the five yard line, especially when you have a running game like the Chiefs had this season. Does not get an A for two reasons: (1) this team was not ready to play in the wildcard game. I know there's a wide variety of reasons why, not the least of which is the flu bug going around the stadium the prior week, but that's on coaching. If your guys come out flat and uninspired in their first playoff game in years, that's on coaching. And (2) I have zero doubt he called the 4th and 1 pitch against the Ravens in that game. That call was so awful, he gets docked for it. What keeps him from falling to a C is the Colts game (a coaching masterpiece in how to spring the upset, if only D Bowe holds onto the pass), and the season opener -- as fired up and prepared for battle as we were to open the season, we were the exact opposite for the playoff game.
Still, considering last year at this time, I was openly calling for his head, and now I'm ok with him returning for year three, he had one helluva season. There aren't too many athletes or coaches who get out of my doghouse. Here’s to hoping he doesn’t find his way back in there in 2011.
* Scott Pioli, GM: A-. Has really only had one spectacular screw-up since arriving in Kansas City last year, and that's the Tyson Jackson pick (which, to be fair, he was pretty much forced into making – nobody was trading up, and nobody else in that slot made sense, but still). Every free agent signing was golden this year, especially Ryan Lilja and Casey Weigmann. He's Pro Football Weekly's Executive of the Year, and I can't disagree with their vote. Has the Chiefs on a similar upward track that his predecessor did after two years on the job -- only he's doing it with a bunch of young players on both sides of the ball, as opposed to Carl's refusal to go young on offense. The sky's the limit!
* Clark Hunt, Owner: A. Give him credit -- he did everything Chiefs fans wanted him to do. He canned Carl. He allowed Herm to be shoved out the door. He allowed Pioli to hire his guys, despite the severance packages it no doubt forced him to pay out. He opened the check book for free agency. He opened the check book for the draft. He also incredibly paid for every cost overrun on the stadium renovation, and threw in an additional $125 million so that the Founders Plaza and the Hall of Fame would truly be special destination places for any Chiefs fan (and they are). I have no idea how we got so lucky to have a truly worthy successor to Lamar Hunt, but thank God we did.
And if you don't think that last sentence is important, look around the rest of the division. The raiders have no succession plan for when al davis finally croaks (and nobody locally outside of Larry Ellison of Oracle with the money to buy the raiders and keep them in Oakland, and Ellison just shelled out $500 million to save the Warriors, I doubt he's got another cool $1.2, $1.3 billion laying around to buy the raiders AND finance a new stadium). denver's owner is sadly suffering from the onset of dementia. (I hate patrick j. bowlen with a passion, but as someone whose grandmother died of Alzheimer's disease, I wouldn't wish dementia on anyone, including bowlen and anyone his franchise has ever employed. It's a horrible way to die). And San Diego, the Spanos family doesn't have the money to make the pass-down-to-the-kid plan work, so when Alex kicks the bucket in a couple years, they'll be in a state of flux.
Simply put, the Chiefs are the most stable franchise in the division, and they're on the surest footing personnel wise at this point as well. The only thing we're missing to keep from jumping to elite, conference championship threats? Glad you asked.
* Chiefs Draft Thoughts:
I know the popular thought is that we go offensive tackle, defensive end, or wide receiver. And most of the time, I’d agree with you. Depending on how day one goes, I might completely agree with you by the time we’re on the clock. But if one of two people is still on the board, the pick is obvious.
It has to be a quarterback.
I see four potential franchise guys in the first round. So let’s examine each one.
First, let's be realistic here. Unless the Chiefs mortgage the future and trade a couple future first rounders, they aren't getting Blaine Gabbert, who isn't falling below 10 to the Redskins at the worst (and probably doesn't slide past the Cardinals at 5). I know it'd be cool if the local kid, the local college stud, came in to lead the franchise to glory, but it ain't gonna happen. (That, and there’s no way I’d invest multiple draft picks to move up and pick a guy who never led his team to a BCS bowl game. Or a division title. Or one single, significant road win in his two years at the helm. Gabbert has “BUST!” flashing all over him).
I'm also not enamored with Jake Locker. If he's the only option at quarterback left at 21, then draft for need, or draft best available, and try again in 2012, because Cassel is decent enough to deliver another 10-6 division championship, exit in the divisional round type season.
That leaves two.
My first choice – Cam Newton. Newton would be a dream come true, because I really think that's where the league is headed -- a stud athlete with a solid arm, who is built like a tank, making him tough to stop on the run as well. (Yes, you can accurately conclude I am a huge believer in tim tebow. Which sickens me. But that kid is going to lead the broncos back to relevance far faster than they have any reason to do so. Well him, and John Fox, the best coaching hire of the offseason so far.
And for anyone who thinks that type of QB can’t succeed in the NFL, I have two words for you. Steve. Young. That dude worked out fairly well, as unfortunately tebow will as well …)
Unfortunately, I see no way Newton gets past Jacksonville at 16. And the only way he lasts that long is if Washington has a collective brain fart at 10, and screws up royally when turning in the draft card.
Which leaves one guy. And I think he’d be a natural in Todd Haley’s offense. Hell, I know he’d be a natural in a Todd Haley-esque offense, because it’s what he ran in college.
That guy … is Ryan Mallett.
I know, a lot of people's immediate impression of Mallett is his final collegiate play, a costly interception while trying to rally his team from down 20 plus (they'd cut it to 5) in the Sugar Bowl. And a lot of the time, I'd agree with you.
Except I really think this kid is going to be something special. He resurrected Arkansas football, going from the disaster of the Houston Nutt / Guz Malzahn / Mitch Mustain crap and a 3-9 disaster, to a 10-3 Sugar Bowl season. He did it without a NFL caliber running back or wide receiver on the roster. He did it with a porous defense he constantly had to find a way to outscore. And he did it playing for a guy NFL types despise (Bobby Petrino). The kid is the real deal.
If Mallett is there at 21, and the Chiefs don't draft him, I'm going to be livid. (Especially angry if Cam Newton is there at 21 and we pass, but I don't think he will be).
Please, Scott Pioli, Chiefs scouting department, upper management – do NOT repeat 2005! When a franchise QB falls into your lap, don't think – just draft! How much better off would this team be with Aaron Rodgers under center? You can always find a Derrick Johnson type player, even if you have to overpay in free agency every couple years to get one. What you don't find in free agency, or in the draft more than once or twice a year for that matter, is a stud franchise QB that can take you from where the Chiefs are (a decent 10-11 win squad), to where they need to be (an elite franchise that is on the short list of Lombardi Trophy threats).
If Mallett (or Newton) is there, pull the trigger. Make the pick. You won't regret it. Even if he has to sit a couple years before you can push the incumbent out the door -- how is that an issue? The Titans sat Steve McNair for a couple years, it didn't hurt him at all. The Pack sat Rodgers for three seasons. Didn't harm his development one bit. I'd much rather use the 21st pick on a quarterback who six years from now has us as a 3 1/2 point favorite in the AFC Title Game as a road team (like Rodgers is on Sunday in the other conference), than on a linebacker who is solid, but whose ceiling is borderline Pro Bowler.
Gamble on greatness. Don't settle for mediocrity. That's my hopes for the 2011 draft.
(And if Mallett / Newton are both gone, which is probable at this point, then draft for need, or try like holy hell to trade back. I think RT is our most glaring hole, with WR a close second. Ron Edwards can more than handle the DT position for another season, and there’s no DT in the 20-25 range that I’d use the pick on).
* The 2011 Schedule, Steve-style:
Now that we know our opponents, here's how I'd want to see them in order of appearance.
Note: the Royals are home Sunday, September 18th. That is the only September date that could affect a Chiefs home game.
Week One: Sunday, September 11th, vs Packers, 3:15pm, FOX (*).
Week Two: Sunday, September 18th, at broncos, 3:15pm, CBS.
Week Three: Sunday, September 25th, vs Dolphins, noon, CBS.
Week Four: Monday, October 3rd, vs Steelers, 7:30pm, ESPN (*).
Week Five: Sunday, October 9th, at Jets, noon, CBS.
Week Six: Sunday, October 16th, vs raiders, noon, CBS.
Week Seven: bye.
Week Eight: Sunday, October 30th, at Patriots, noon, CBS.
Week Nine: Sunday, November 6th, at Vikings, noon, CBS.
Week Ten: Sunday, November 13th, vs Chargers, 7:15pm, NBC (*).
Week Eleven: Sunday, November 20th, at Lions, noon, CBS.
Week Twelve: Thursday, November 24th, vs broncos, 7pm, NFLN (*).
Week Thirteen: Sunday, December 4th: vs Bills, noon, CBS.
Week Fourteen: Sunday, December 11th: at Chargers, 3:15pm, CBS.
Week Fifteen: Sunday, December 18th: at Colts, noon, CBS.
Week Sixteen: Monday, December 26th: vs Bears, 7:30pm, ESPN (*).
Week Seventeen: Sunday, January 1st: at raiders, 3:15pm, CBS.
Reasoning / Analysis: how awesome would it be to open the season against the Packers, with the eyes of the nation on us in the stand-alone FOX afternoon slot? (FOX always has the stand-alone afternoon slot week one due to CBS airing the US Open Men’s final). I think it'd be pretty sweet. You follow that up with a very winnable roadie at denver, before a very winnable home game against the Dolphins. You're set up, just like in 2010, to a potentially huge start and a jump on the division before the calendar hits October. You then close the first quarter with our first prime time game of the year, against the Steelers (that game will be in prime time wherever it appears on the schedule, you can bet the family farm on that).
Then two tough ones to close before the bye, at the Jets and then hosting the raiders, who somehow have won four straight at Arrowhead, most in blowout fashion. The bye comes at just the right time, and gives you two weeks to prepare for the reunion in Foxboro. You close the first half of the schedule with an intriguing roadie at Minnesota, who if they get a decent QB, will be a tough out.
There’s no reason you can’t be 5-3 at worst hitting midseason, and 6-2 if you steal a roadie either in the Meadowlands or the Metrodome.
The third quarter is THE crucial quarter, because you almost have to go 4-0 in this stretch if you have any hopes of playing past my 35th birthday. You open with a huge divisional showdown with the Chargers, then a winnable roadie at Detroit ... followed by a really short week, because Thanksgiving Night should always be played at Arrowhead, and godd*mmit, I'm going to keep scheduling denver at Chiefs for as long as I do this, because that should be an established Thanksgiving night tradition -- even if we swap stadiums every year, just set that game for prime time on Thanksgiving night and be done with it. It's one of the AFC's best rivalries. It's almost always a great game. Make it happen. You then get a long rest before closing the third quarter with the Bills.
Then, quarter four, which is brutally tough, but one of the quarters was going to be, and since ideally you're playing your best football entering December, might as well make the last one the tough one. Back to back roadies at San Diego and Indy, followed by hosting the Bears (in a huge non-con prime time showdown for both teams given what their records are likely to be – think Vikings at Chiefs in mid-December 1999 in prime time for a reference point), and closing in the coliseum with potentially the division on the line.
2011 is going to be tough ... but every other AFC West team has toughies as well, and honestly? I'd rather have Pittsburgh / at Indy like we do, than Baltimore / at Jacksonville like the Chargers, because I think the Ravens and Jags will both be better teams than the Steelers and Colts next year. At worst, it's a coin flip.
The Chargers do have a slight advantage, in that they get New England and the Jets at home ... but they also have the flip of us and have to go to Chicago and Green Bay. Don't underestimate how lucky we are to be visiting the two dome teams, especially if we play them both later in the year. I'd much rather face the Vikings indoors in December, than the Packers or Bears outdoors that same time of year.
All in all, I can see another 10 win season out of this schedule, 11 if everything breaks right. (I really think Indy is going to collapse -- think 1997 Cowboys: fading veteran team, horrible coaching, first sign of adversity it all falls apart).
* Final Thought on 2010:
Again, thank you to the Chiefs for a magical season. It certainly was the best one around here since 2006, if not 2003. I had more fun this season than any since 1999, and I loved the hell out of 2006. I love teams that overachieve. They're easy to root for. And yeah, while the ending was disappointing, don't downplay the experience of simply surviving a pennant race, and playing in January. These guys know how to win now. What they didn't know how to do at Houston, or at oakland, they get it now, as evidenced in the denver and St. Louis games. They know how to close. That's a huge first step towards bringing Lamar's Trophy home.
The next step? Keep building on what you've got. We've got a solid roster in place. Assuming we actually hire an offensive coordinator, and not a glorified coffee fetcher for Coach Haley, we have a pretty good coaching staff in place, a veteran crew that knows how to adapt to what the opposition throws at you. Especially on defense, we won't be overwhelmed, like we were so often in 2009, and at times in 2010 (think denver).
With another solid draft class, and some more savvy free agent signings, there is no reason to think the Chiefs will take a step back in 2011. If anything, I envision them treading water at the 10 win mark, that seems the most likely outcome as it stands right now. And given how rough everyone's schedule in our division is next year, and especially given the huge coaching turnover every other team in the division is experiencing (new coaching staffs altogether in denver and oakland, whole new defensive and special teams staffs in San Diego), and the fact that a looming lockout will limit their abilities to implement the new schemes and formations, the Chiefs have to enter 2011 as a solid favorite to repeat as AFC West champs. For that, I am extremely happy. And cautiously optimistic that 2011 is the next step forward to a championship.
Hope to see each and every one of you who read this out there for the 2011 season. Let’s re-establish Arrowhead as truly THE loudest stadium in the NFL. Let’s re-establish ourselves as THE die-hard fanbase in the league. And let’s aim for a 2pm kickoff on Sunday, January 22nd, 2012, on the sacred turf of One Arrowhead Drive, and circle the date to bring Lamar’s Trophy home!
Until then, there’s only one team to root for. (fireman ed voice) J! E! T! S! Jets Jets Jets! If we can’t bring Lamar’s Trophy to KC this year, then by God, let’s deliver it to One Weeb Eubank Way, to the other team that I live and die with. Come on Jets. Come on …
As always, these are my opinions, and my opinions only. I highly doubt you will agree with all of them. That's what the comments section is for. A couple grades, in particular, I think are going to anger the Chiefs fans that read this. If so, too bad. Open your eyes, and see things like I do. Or blast away at me in the comments, it's all good.
* Best game: Chiefs 34, Titans 14 week 16. The most dominant performance the Chiefs put on all season, scoring on five of their first six possessions en route to a 24 point halftime lead. Honorable mention: Chiefs 10, donkeys 6 week 13. Anytime you beat those asshats, it's a good thing. Anytime you beat them, and they promptly fire their head coach less than 24 hours later? It's a great thing.
* Worst game: Ravens 30, Chiefs 7 wildcard round. No, it wasn't the worst game we played all year, but certainly it was the worst outcome. And the second half was a total disaster. Dishonorable mention: Chargers 31, Chiefs 0 week 14. The worst Chiefs offensive performance of my lifetime. And the defense wasn't much better.
* Favorite play: Chiefs hold on 4th and goal, vs Chargers week 1. Nobody who was there that night will ever forget the ending. And anyone who was there and left early, will be kicking themselves in the ass until the day they die about walking out on an instant classic. As well you should be – you never leave a competitive game early, no matter what the weather is like. Hell, I should be kicking your ass for you if you left early. Honorable mention: the McCluster to Cassel to D Bowe reverse flea flicker for a touchdown, vs 49ers week 3. The coolest play call all season long.
* Least Favorite play: the 4th and 1 pitch, vs Ravens wildcard round. One of the four or five worst play calls in franchise history. Dishonorable mention: D Bowe dropping a gimme touchdown, at Colts week 5. In hindsight, it didn't cost us a thing, but at the time, it certainly cost us a chance to bury the Colts, and all but wrap up the division by mid-October.
* Favorite Ongoing Storyline: Tony Gonzalez losing again in the postseason. Tony G was dead to me after the denver game in 2008, when he put personal stats over winning for the first time in 345 days. I don't get it Chiefs fans. This guy QUIT on us. He demanded out. We weren't good enough for him. I'm thrilled that in the two seasons since the trade, the Chiefs and Falcons have achieved the same end result -- one playoff-less season, one division championship, zero playoff wins. Honorable mention: the real Tony we should be cheering for, Tony Richardson, still alive for a Super Bowl berth.
* Least Favorite Ongoing Storyline: the labor situation. I mean, this isn't the NBA, where at least 10-12 franchise are legitimately hemorrhaging money and would actually make money by not playing a single game. Every NFL team turns a profit, most of them an obscene one. If you can't figure out a way to divide up $9 billion in revenue, you're dumber than Lloyd Christmas. Dishonorable mention: the "sellouts" at Arrowhead. I still wish Clark Hunt and/or Channel 5 hadn't bought up the Titans tickets. Let the die-hards who sat through three years of crap for this season, have their moment, and let everyone else who for whatever reason didn't get tickets re-examine just how die-hard of a fan they are.
* Most Valuable Chief, Offense: Ryan Lilja, RG. Might be the best free agent signing by this franchise since Carl Peterson took a chance on an injured Ravens RB named Priest Holmes ten years ago. Honorable mention: Jamaal Charles, RB. The best season by a Chiefs running back since LJ in 2006.
* Most Valuable Chief, Defense: Tamba Hali, OLB. Became a force as a pass rusher, and remained effective in pass coverage as well. It's a crime he's not Pro Bowl bound. Honorable mention: Brandon Flowers, CB. Along with Brandon Carr, the Chiefs are set at corner for the next six to seven years, barring injury. Flowers became the shut-down corner the Chiefs really haven't had since James Hasty in the late 1990s.
* Least Valuable Chief, Offense: Brodie Croyle, QB. In the words of Rage Against the Machine, "f*ck it, cut the cord!" His performance in San Diego was criminitely bad. Yes, it was so awful that I had to haul out a word from Dustyland to describe it. Dishonorable mention: Chris Chambers, WR. So awful at his job that we signed a white dude off the street for the playoff game (Kevin Curtis), and gave him more playing time in that game than Chris got.
* Least Valuable Chief, Defense: Tyson Jackson, DE. A complete bust along the lines of Ryan Sims and Junior Siavii at this point. Probably has one more training camp to prove himself before the Chiefs cut him and move on. Dishonorable mention: Donald Washington, CB. It's not that he played poorly, it's that he could never stay healthy. Washington is a solid corner when the Chiefs go cover three if he's healthy. In 2010, that wasn't often.
* Most Improved Chief, Offense: Brandon Albert, LT. Went from a decent lineman, to someone to protect the blind side for the next decade. This dude has four or five Pro Bowls in him. Honorable mention: Barry Richardson. Went from radioactive disaster, to mild catastrophe. Chiefs definitely need to upgrade the right tackle position this offseason.
* Most Improved Chief, Defense: Wallace Gilberry, DE. A year ago, I was ripping Todd Haley for allowing this guy to even be active, let alone be on the field. Now? Like a lot of things in 2009, I was too short-sighted to see the payoff. Gilberry has developed into a solid pass rushing end, and his potential is sky high at this point. Honorable mention: Jovan Belcher, LB. Another player with huge potential that took a giant step forward in 2010.
* Least Improved Chief, Offense: Chris Chambers, WR. The worst Chiefs free agent signing at the position since Brett Perriman was attempting (and usually failing) to find the "definition of the sideline" in 1997. Dishonorable mention: Leonard Pope, RB / TE. More a numbers-thing, as he was squeezed for playing time by Castille, and the emergence of Moeaki. But I expected more from Pope than what we saw this year.
* Least Improved Chief, Defense: Tyson Jackson, DE. At this point, it might be in the Chiefs best interest to just give up on him. Especially with Shaun Smith and Gilberry perfectly capable of handling the position. Dishonorable mention: Corey Mays, LB. Didn't hear much from him this season, after a decent 2009 campaign. I'd be shocked if Mays is on the roster in 2011.
Individual Grades, Defense:
* Tyson Jackson, DE: F. Couldn't stay healthy early, and was a waste of space when he was on the field. Arguably the most disappointing Chiefs draft pick since Ryan Sims. His future with the team will be known early on -- if the Chiefs go DE on day one or two, expect Jackson to be cut in August.
* Shaun Smith, DE: B+. Could not have asked more of Smith, up to and including a Fridge Perry-like touchdown run in Seattle. Great free agent pickup by the Chiefs front office. Would be shocked if he is not starting next September at LDE.
* Ron Edwards, DT: A. Quite possibly the most underrated Chiefs player of my lifetime. Every year it seems like the Chiefs try to replace him, and every year Edwards responds with a solid effort, solid stats, and great attitude and work ethic. Hopefully he sticks around for another year or two and earns an ultimate payoff for all his efforts to date.
* Glenn Dorsey, DE: B-. Had his best season as a pro, but it still isn't good enough for a top five draft pick from three years ago. Chiefs have a big decision to make on Dorsey come the end of 2011 -- extend, or let him walk. His play next season should determine the answer to that question.
* Wallace Gilberry, DE: A. What a tremendous season for this guy. Even if 2010 is his ceiling, we've got at worst another Joe Phillips type end. And I'm perfectly fine with that.
* Mike Vrabel, LB: C-. He's definitely at the end of the line. If he does return in 2011, it should be strictly in the veteran backup role he's best suited to play at this point.
* Andy Studebaker, LB: C. Nowhere near as effective in 2010 as he was in 2009 ... but still a solid special teams player, a decent coverage backer when the Chiefs go cover three, and you can do a helluva lot worse at backup LB than this guy.
* Jovan Belcher, LB: B. Had a solid season at middle backer ... but incredibly, stepped up for his biggest game in the wildcard game, posting 11 tackles, and nearly doubling his sack output for the season. Is that a sign of things to come ... or a guy who plays bigger when the moment gets bigger? Either way, it's a good sign, since next year's schedule (more on that to come) offers a ton of big games.
* Corey Mays, LB: F. A complete disaster. Will be stunned to see him back in 2011.
* Derrick Johnson, LB: A-. If he had better hands, he'd have earned an A+, but dropping at least 2 gimme interceptions is a downer in my eyes. Glad to see him fully embrace the team concept the administration is pushing, and he earned his contract extension.
Having said that ... let's flash back to 2005 for a minute. The Chiefs are on the clock, picking 15th. Their most glaring need at the moment is a game-changing linebacker. Derrick Johnson is there for the taking. That is who the "Voice of Reason" strongly backed.
On the other end of the couch, I argued strongly that the time to draft Trent Green's replacement, was now ... because Aaron Rodgers was still on the clock. G and I disagree on a lot of things ... but rarely have we been so heated in disagreement as we were about this pick.
(Meanwhile, on the phone in Raleigh, Brent was desperately hoping I was right, to avoid paying off yet another ridiculous bet he and Gregg made, this one involving buying a player’s jersey depending on who the Chiefs drafted. I believe he had Antrel Rolle or Pacman Jones. I know Gregg had DJ. The lesson? As always, never bet against Gregg when he’s got something riding on the outcome. Unless it’s a pai gow table at the Isle on a Friday night. Then bet on crappy cards, zero fortune bonus payouts, and a long night of steady defeat for all at the table).
In the end, the Chiefs took DJ, and the Packers (using the strategory I was acting under the influence of) grabbed up Aaron Rodgers nine picks later.
So I ask you Chiefs fans: five years later, who was right? Me, for wanting to draft a stud franchise QB, or "The Voice of Reason", for sticking to "draft your biggest need"? Both Rodgers and DJ are going to have solid pro careers. And up until this postseason at least, you could argue this fight was a draw to date. But only one of them can alter the fate of a franchise, as this January is proving. And that one ain't DJ. More on this to come when I get to my Chiefs draft desires ...
* Demarrio Williams, LB: D. Has been a total bust since arriving via free agency three years ago. Should be more than a backup / spot starter given the talent he has, and the amount of money we're paying him. Another player likely to be an ex-Chief in 2011.
* Tamba Hali, LB: A+. Went from solid contributor to defensive anchor in 2010. No Chiefs player developed more this year than Tamba did. I can't wait to see where this kid is at two to three years from now.
* Brandon Flowers, CB: B+. My only criticism is that Flowers takes too many chances trying for the interception, rather than simply defending the pass, or wrapping up the receiver after a short gain. He'll learn to settle eventually, rather than force the issue. He's too talented not to.
* Javier Arenas, CB: C+. Had a couple solid kick returns, but was not as effective in the cover three as he needs to be. Still, for a rookie season, he did a fine job, and figures to only get better.
* Brandon Carr, CB: B+. The underrated Brandon Brother. I like Carr, a lot. Solid fundamentally, always in position to make the play, rarely gets burned deep. The Chiefs are set at corner through at least 2016 at this point, and that's a very good thing.
* Travis Daniels, CB: D. Didn't play much, and didn't do much when he did play. His ceiling is likely a cover three corner.
* Donald Washington, CB: F. This season was a catastrophe for him. Let's hope for better things in 2011, because the talent is there.
* Jon McGraw, S: B+. Has a great knack for being around the ball. Go back and watch his INT of peyton manning that should have set up the Chiefs for the win (the very next play was the Bowe TD drop) -- McGraw totally lulled manning into making a horrendous throw, that he then stepped in and picked. Great fundamentals, rock solid tackler, only concern is the injury bug -- he missed four games due to injury, and one of them (at denver), the Chiefs got killed because of it.
* Eric Berry, S: B-. Didn't quite deliver as great of a rookie year as we could have hoped for, but was certainly in the top 5-6% of rookies in the league in terms of making a positive impact on the field. Will only keep getting better.
* Kendrick Lewis, S: A+. I am friggin in love with this kid. I haven't had a ridiculous man-crush on a Chiefs defender like this since "Brave" Bennie Sapp stormed the donkeys bench and taunted them after the Thanksgiving win four years ago. Like McGraw, Lewis always is in position to make the play. The Chiefs have an embarrassment of riches at safety. That's a very good thing.
* Dusty Colquitt, P: D. Not one of Dusty C's finest years. He gets great hangtime, and when he's allowed to just drill it, he usually does. But he's horrendous when punting between the 40s -- dude couldn't land a punt inside the 10 if he was given 100 chances to do so. The Chiefs can – and must – improve at this position. I wouldn't be shocked if they opted to try to do so with someone not named Dusty C. I kind of hope they don’t though – I still crack myself up with the tired, ridiculous “Dusty C’s punt as high as Dusty J? Nope” joke that never was funny, to anyone other than me.
Individual Grades, Offense:
* Brandon Albert, T: B+. What would you rather have Chiefs fans -- Albert and Jamaal Charles, or Jared Allen? If Carl's last gift to this franchise was the tremendous (so far) 2008 draft, then this trade has to be the bow on top of the package. Albert figures to be a 10-12 year mainstay protecting the blind side. If you've solved the left tackle slot, the rest of the offensive line becomes relatively easy to fix.
* Barry Richardson, T: C. A perfectly league-average backup. You need a couple of those on the line. Was decent when forced into action. I can see him being a Wade Smith / Marcus Spears type player, who lasts for 10-12 years but floats from team to team every couple seasons.
* Brian Waters, G: B. His age is beginning to show, but he's still one of the 4 or 5 best guards in the game, and possibly the best undrafted free agent of the 2000s. Still has 2-3 solid years left in him.
* Jon Asamoah, G: B. Solid rookie season. Didn't get embarrassed in his one forced start. Has a bright future in front of him.
* Casey Weigmann, C: A. I can't recall a single botched snap under center this season. I honestly can't recall a botched snap in the shotgun either. If you don't f*ck up the snap once, and you play center? You're getting an A from Professor Steve. Rock solid season for the veteran, and hopefully he's got another one or two of those in him.
* Ryan Lilja, G: A+. The local kid comes home, and makes a name for himself. The best offensive lineman pickup the Chiefs have made since they traded for Willie Roaf a decade ago.
* Ryan O'Callaghan, T: C. A position the Chiefs must improve, especially given the beefed-up schedule next fall. If you think O'Callaghan is a longer-term answer, you fill this in free agency for the short-term fix. If (like me) you think O'Callaghan is at best a career backup / spot starter, you fill this in day one or two of the draft.
* Terrence Copper, WR: B-. Didn't do anything great, didn't do anything horrendous. The Chiefs desperately need a possession receiver, the dude you look to on 3rd and 6, who always makes the catch. We haven't had that really since Kevin Lockett in the late 90s. (Well, other than Tony Gonzalez. I mean a wide receiver who can fill that role). Copper isn't the answer. But he's a decent third / slot receiver option with decent hands who's worth keeping around for 2011.
* Verran Tucker, WR: B. Has more of a future on special teams than as a wide receiver. Still, had a great touchdown catch in oakland, which gives him a slightly higher grade than Copper.
* Chris Chambers, WR: F. An abject embarrassment to the Red and Gold this season. I haven't been more disappointed in a Chiefs receiver since Brett Perriman. And at least Perriman had an excuse -- it's been fourteen years, and I still can't figure out where the hell the sideline was in that Monday nighter at oakland either.
* Leonard Pope, TE: C. I expected more, but I'm not blaming Pope for his downfall in production. Our third round draft choice was really that good. A solid backup TE / fourth receiving option. Also valuable because he can lead block, and provide the safety valve in a tight formation.
* Tony Moeaki, TE: A+. Should be the Chiefs Rookie of the Year, but I'm guessing he won't get it. Should fill the tight end position competently for quite a while going forward.
* Jake O'Connell, TE: D. Saw little to no playing time on offense, and was mediocre at best on special teams. Plus, I hate guys who tat up their arms with their initials. I mean, really? That's what you opt for when you go get inked up, is a huge Detroit-script J and O? Lame. Very, very lame.
* Dwayne Bowe, WR: B+. The Indianapolis drop cost him an A. Look it, I don't care if he's a prima donna, I don't care if he's an ass to the fans, and I especially don't care to find out what long-lost cousin of his we're bringing into training camp this upcoming season. All I care about is that you catch the ball when it's thrown to you. Bowe did that very well the last 2/3 of the season, including an awesome 3rd and 19 conversion against the Titans that he took 70 yards to the end zone, a play we never seem to make, yet always have dropped on us. Let's hope that's a trend that continues.
* Dexter McCluster, WR: D. Yes, this is harsh. Yes, Dex was highly effective when he was on the field. But, how often was he on the field? He missed over half the season with various injuries. He's a smallish dude who relies on jukes and fakes to make his yardage (along with his speed). I don't like his odds of staying healthy going forward (which is why I think using him on returns, other than at THE critical moment of a game, is a huge mistake -- you're risking injury for no good reason, especially when you have a very solid returner in Arenas that can do the same thing you're asking Dex to do). The jury's out for this kid with me. I pray I'm wrong, but I don't see him having an effective career.
* Thomas Jones, RB: C. For someone who was brought in to be the short-yardage guy, and the pound-the-line guy, he was shockingly ineffective at converting 3rd and 4th and short. How many times this year did we run it on 3rd and 2 or less, and then have to make a 4th down decision? Way too many times. I expect Jones to return, but the Chiefs should be looking to upgrade this roster spot. Still earns a passing grade because he achieved his primary purpose – he saved Charles from wear, tear, and injury by absorbing the bulk of the carries. If only we’d had a TJ back when LJ was hauling the rock, maybe he’d have a better legacy and career in the eyes of Chiefs Nation.
* Jackie Battle, RB: D. Another in a long line of wasted Chiefs draft picks at the position. Battle at best is a garbage time runner.
* Jamaal Charles, RB: A+. I had no complaints with how the Chiefs used Charles. They used him and Jones exactly as I would have. And exactly as they should going forward. Charles can't hold up over 300 plus carries every year. He can't. He can, however, be highly effective over 200-220 carries. He's not Barry Sanders. But he sure as all hell can be another Roger Craig type back who posts sick numbers on limited carries, and posts one huge burst a game. (With TJ or a suitable replacement serving as his Tom Rathman). And I'm perfectly good with that.
* Tony Castille, RB: B. I'd like to see the Chiefs use Leonard Pope more in this spot. I think he'd be a great fullback, especially given his receiving capabilities. But Castille did a tremendous job this season. You don't have the best running game in the league unless you've got some tremendous blocking going on, and it starts at the point of attack, which is Castille.
* Brodie Croyle, QB: F. Now 0-10 as a starter in the league. I'd be shocked if he gets a chance to stretch that much past 12 or 13 by the time his career is over.
* Tyler Palko, QB: F. Horrendous the one time he saw action (vs the raiders). Will be nothing more than a clipboard holder going forward.
* Matt Cassel, QB: D+. I know, I know, I can hear you all screaming now. "You gave him a D! How? What QB did you watch this year Stevo?" To which I respond, I watched a QB who crapped his pants at home against all our divisional rivals, who looked rattled in Indy, posted his two worst games of the season in his last two starts, and really delivered only two rock-solid starts this year (at St. Louis, vs Tennessee). Yes, it is highly probable the oakland and Baltimore abortions were due to lingering affects from the appendicitis.
Having said that, I don't think you can win a championship in this league with a middle of the road QB. Sure, you can win, as in "win 10-11 games, win the division or sneak in as a wildcard, and then get rolled in your first game". My other rooting interest did that for a decade, his name was Chad Pennington. (And I say that as someone who still has a Pennington Jets jersey hanging proudly in his closet. I like Pennington, a lot. But he’s not a championship quarterback. And neither is Cassel).
As a Chiefs fan, just reaching the playoffs? That's not good enough for me anymore. That's been what we've had, for better or for worse, for 20 years and counting. We've had a few solid seasons by QBs since the late 1980s, but never have we started a guy under center who you could confidently say "that guy can win on the road in January".
Say what you want about The Sanchize, and God knows I cringe a little every time he lets it fly … he's 4-1 on the road in the playoffs. He plays his best, when the stakes are the highest. Yes, the Jets D was a huge reason why they won last week ... but who put them in position to get there with a textbook pass to Braylon Edwards in Indy the week before? Who put the Jets ahead for good with a textbook sideline pass to Santonio Holmes last week?
I firmly believe the Chiefs must upgrade the quarterback position if we hope to ever achieve more than what we got this season. Matt Cassel is a great guy. He's a decent quarterback. But can you see Cassel leading this team to a victory in Foxboro in January? To a win at the Ketchup Bottle in the AFC Title Game? Can you see him surviving and overcoming the crowd in Indy in the divisional round? I can't. Which is why, when I get to the Chiefs drafting thoughts, I will once again scream to anyone who will listen "DO NOT REPEAT 2005! DO NOT REPEAT 2005!" if the opportunity comes up.
* Ryan Succup, K: B+. Didn't miss a single kick that cost the Chiefs a game. That's all you can ask out of your place kicker. Only reason this isn't an A is because he shanked the game winner against Buffalo, before finally making it as time expired. Still, he's by far and away the most reliable, consistent kicker we've had since Pete Stoyanovich.
Individual Grades, Coordinator, Head Coach, Front Office and Ownership:
* Romeo Crennel, Defensive Coordinator: B+. Realistically, he took the same defense that played like dogcrap for the last three years, and through schemes and coaching, turned it into a serviceable unit that kept the Chiefs afloat in a ton of games this year. Optimistically, this is the worst talent he's going to have going forward -- the unit will only keep getting better. I love where this team is headed on the defensive side of the ball.
* Chuck Weis, Offensive Coordinator: B-. The playoff game turned on one stupid play call. Other than that, and the debacle in San Diego (which I blame far more on Brodie than Chuck), he didn't have a bad game all season. He somehow made Matt Cassel look like an average NFL QB. He rode the Chiefs rushing attack to exploit the other team's passing weaknesses (seriously, his game at Seattle is a clinic in how to exploit your opponent, it's a masterpiece). I wish him nothing but the best at Florida going forward, and thank him for a tremendous, franchise-re-establishing season.
* Todd Haley, Head Coach: B. Love the riverboat gambler mentality ... because anyone who has ever played Madden knows how retarded it is to consistently punt on 4th and short, or settle for 3 inside the five yard line, especially when you have a running game like the Chiefs had this season. Does not get an A for two reasons: (1) this team was not ready to play in the wildcard game. I know there's a wide variety of reasons why, not the least of which is the flu bug going around the stadium the prior week, but that's on coaching. If your guys come out flat and uninspired in their first playoff game in years, that's on coaching. And (2) I have zero doubt he called the 4th and 1 pitch against the Ravens in that game. That call was so awful, he gets docked for it. What keeps him from falling to a C is the Colts game (a coaching masterpiece in how to spring the upset, if only D Bowe holds onto the pass), and the season opener -- as fired up and prepared for battle as we were to open the season, we were the exact opposite for the playoff game.
Still, considering last year at this time, I was openly calling for his head, and now I'm ok with him returning for year three, he had one helluva season. There aren't too many athletes or coaches who get out of my doghouse. Here’s to hoping he doesn’t find his way back in there in 2011.
* Scott Pioli, GM: A-. Has really only had one spectacular screw-up since arriving in Kansas City last year, and that's the Tyson Jackson pick (which, to be fair, he was pretty much forced into making – nobody was trading up, and nobody else in that slot made sense, but still). Every free agent signing was golden this year, especially Ryan Lilja and Casey Weigmann. He's Pro Football Weekly's Executive of the Year, and I can't disagree with their vote. Has the Chiefs on a similar upward track that his predecessor did after two years on the job -- only he's doing it with a bunch of young players on both sides of the ball, as opposed to Carl's refusal to go young on offense. The sky's the limit!
* Clark Hunt, Owner: A. Give him credit -- he did everything Chiefs fans wanted him to do. He canned Carl. He allowed Herm to be shoved out the door. He allowed Pioli to hire his guys, despite the severance packages it no doubt forced him to pay out. He opened the check book for free agency. He opened the check book for the draft. He also incredibly paid for every cost overrun on the stadium renovation, and threw in an additional $125 million so that the Founders Plaza and the Hall of Fame would truly be special destination places for any Chiefs fan (and they are). I have no idea how we got so lucky to have a truly worthy successor to Lamar Hunt, but thank God we did.
And if you don't think that last sentence is important, look around the rest of the division. The raiders have no succession plan for when al davis finally croaks (and nobody locally outside of Larry Ellison of Oracle with the money to buy the raiders and keep them in Oakland, and Ellison just shelled out $500 million to save the Warriors, I doubt he's got another cool $1.2, $1.3 billion laying around to buy the raiders AND finance a new stadium). denver's owner is sadly suffering from the onset of dementia. (I hate patrick j. bowlen with a passion, but as someone whose grandmother died of Alzheimer's disease, I wouldn't wish dementia on anyone, including bowlen and anyone his franchise has ever employed. It's a horrible way to die). And San Diego, the Spanos family doesn't have the money to make the pass-down-to-the-kid plan work, so when Alex kicks the bucket in a couple years, they'll be in a state of flux.
Simply put, the Chiefs are the most stable franchise in the division, and they're on the surest footing personnel wise at this point as well. The only thing we're missing to keep from jumping to elite, conference championship threats? Glad you asked.
* Chiefs Draft Thoughts:
I know the popular thought is that we go offensive tackle, defensive end, or wide receiver. And most of the time, I’d agree with you. Depending on how day one goes, I might completely agree with you by the time we’re on the clock. But if one of two people is still on the board, the pick is obvious.
It has to be a quarterback.
I see four potential franchise guys in the first round. So let’s examine each one.
First, let's be realistic here. Unless the Chiefs mortgage the future and trade a couple future first rounders, they aren't getting Blaine Gabbert, who isn't falling below 10 to the Redskins at the worst (and probably doesn't slide past the Cardinals at 5). I know it'd be cool if the local kid, the local college stud, came in to lead the franchise to glory, but it ain't gonna happen. (That, and there’s no way I’d invest multiple draft picks to move up and pick a guy who never led his team to a BCS bowl game. Or a division title. Or one single, significant road win in his two years at the helm. Gabbert has “BUST!” flashing all over him).
I'm also not enamored with Jake Locker. If he's the only option at quarterback left at 21, then draft for need, or draft best available, and try again in 2012, because Cassel is decent enough to deliver another 10-6 division championship, exit in the divisional round type season.
That leaves two.
My first choice – Cam Newton. Newton would be a dream come true, because I really think that's where the league is headed -- a stud athlete with a solid arm, who is built like a tank, making him tough to stop on the run as well. (Yes, you can accurately conclude I am a huge believer in tim tebow. Which sickens me. But that kid is going to lead the broncos back to relevance far faster than they have any reason to do so. Well him, and John Fox, the best coaching hire of the offseason so far.
And for anyone who thinks that type of QB can’t succeed in the NFL, I have two words for you. Steve. Young. That dude worked out fairly well, as unfortunately tebow will as well …)
Unfortunately, I see no way Newton gets past Jacksonville at 16. And the only way he lasts that long is if Washington has a collective brain fart at 10, and screws up royally when turning in the draft card.
Which leaves one guy. And I think he’d be a natural in Todd Haley’s offense. Hell, I know he’d be a natural in a Todd Haley-esque offense, because it’s what he ran in college.
That guy … is Ryan Mallett.
I know, a lot of people's immediate impression of Mallett is his final collegiate play, a costly interception while trying to rally his team from down 20 plus (they'd cut it to 5) in the Sugar Bowl. And a lot of the time, I'd agree with you.
Except I really think this kid is going to be something special. He resurrected Arkansas football, going from the disaster of the Houston Nutt / Guz Malzahn / Mitch Mustain crap and a 3-9 disaster, to a 10-3 Sugar Bowl season. He did it without a NFL caliber running back or wide receiver on the roster. He did it with a porous defense he constantly had to find a way to outscore. And he did it playing for a guy NFL types despise (Bobby Petrino). The kid is the real deal.
If Mallett is there at 21, and the Chiefs don't draft him, I'm going to be livid. (Especially angry if Cam Newton is there at 21 and we pass, but I don't think he will be).
Please, Scott Pioli, Chiefs scouting department, upper management – do NOT repeat 2005! When a franchise QB falls into your lap, don't think – just draft! How much better off would this team be with Aaron Rodgers under center? You can always find a Derrick Johnson type player, even if you have to overpay in free agency every couple years to get one. What you don't find in free agency, or in the draft more than once or twice a year for that matter, is a stud franchise QB that can take you from where the Chiefs are (a decent 10-11 win squad), to where they need to be (an elite franchise that is on the short list of Lombardi Trophy threats).
If Mallett (or Newton) is there, pull the trigger. Make the pick. You won't regret it. Even if he has to sit a couple years before you can push the incumbent out the door -- how is that an issue? The Titans sat Steve McNair for a couple years, it didn't hurt him at all. The Pack sat Rodgers for three seasons. Didn't harm his development one bit. I'd much rather use the 21st pick on a quarterback who six years from now has us as a 3 1/2 point favorite in the AFC Title Game as a road team (like Rodgers is on Sunday in the other conference), than on a linebacker who is solid, but whose ceiling is borderline Pro Bowler.
Gamble on greatness. Don't settle for mediocrity. That's my hopes for the 2011 draft.
(And if Mallett / Newton are both gone, which is probable at this point, then draft for need, or try like holy hell to trade back. I think RT is our most glaring hole, with WR a close second. Ron Edwards can more than handle the DT position for another season, and there’s no DT in the 20-25 range that I’d use the pick on).
* The 2011 Schedule, Steve-style:
Now that we know our opponents, here's how I'd want to see them in order of appearance.
Note: the Royals are home Sunday, September 18th. That is the only September date that could affect a Chiefs home game.
Week One: Sunday, September 11th, vs Packers, 3:15pm, FOX (*).
Week Two: Sunday, September 18th, at broncos, 3:15pm, CBS.
Week Three: Sunday, September 25th, vs Dolphins, noon, CBS.
Week Four: Monday, October 3rd, vs Steelers, 7:30pm, ESPN (*).
Week Five: Sunday, October 9th, at Jets, noon, CBS.
Week Six: Sunday, October 16th, vs raiders, noon, CBS.
Week Seven: bye.
Week Eight: Sunday, October 30th, at Patriots, noon, CBS.
Week Nine: Sunday, November 6th, at Vikings, noon, CBS.
Week Ten: Sunday, November 13th, vs Chargers, 7:15pm, NBC (*).
Week Eleven: Sunday, November 20th, at Lions, noon, CBS.
Week Twelve: Thursday, November 24th, vs broncos, 7pm, NFLN (*).
Week Thirteen: Sunday, December 4th: vs Bills, noon, CBS.
Week Fourteen: Sunday, December 11th: at Chargers, 3:15pm, CBS.
Week Fifteen: Sunday, December 18th: at Colts, noon, CBS.
Week Sixteen: Monday, December 26th: vs Bears, 7:30pm, ESPN (*).
Week Seventeen: Sunday, January 1st: at raiders, 3:15pm, CBS.
Reasoning / Analysis: how awesome would it be to open the season against the Packers, with the eyes of the nation on us in the stand-alone FOX afternoon slot? (FOX always has the stand-alone afternoon slot week one due to CBS airing the US Open Men’s final). I think it'd be pretty sweet. You follow that up with a very winnable roadie at denver, before a very winnable home game against the Dolphins. You're set up, just like in 2010, to a potentially huge start and a jump on the division before the calendar hits October. You then close the first quarter with our first prime time game of the year, against the Steelers (that game will be in prime time wherever it appears on the schedule, you can bet the family farm on that).
Then two tough ones to close before the bye, at the Jets and then hosting the raiders, who somehow have won four straight at Arrowhead, most in blowout fashion. The bye comes at just the right time, and gives you two weeks to prepare for the reunion in Foxboro. You close the first half of the schedule with an intriguing roadie at Minnesota, who if they get a decent QB, will be a tough out.
There’s no reason you can’t be 5-3 at worst hitting midseason, and 6-2 if you steal a roadie either in the Meadowlands or the Metrodome.
The third quarter is THE crucial quarter, because you almost have to go 4-0 in this stretch if you have any hopes of playing past my 35th birthday. You open with a huge divisional showdown with the Chargers, then a winnable roadie at Detroit ... followed by a really short week, because Thanksgiving Night should always be played at Arrowhead, and godd*mmit, I'm going to keep scheduling denver at Chiefs for as long as I do this, because that should be an established Thanksgiving night tradition -- even if we swap stadiums every year, just set that game for prime time on Thanksgiving night and be done with it. It's one of the AFC's best rivalries. It's almost always a great game. Make it happen. You then get a long rest before closing the third quarter with the Bills.
Then, quarter four, which is brutally tough, but one of the quarters was going to be, and since ideally you're playing your best football entering December, might as well make the last one the tough one. Back to back roadies at San Diego and Indy, followed by hosting the Bears (in a huge non-con prime time showdown for both teams given what their records are likely to be – think Vikings at Chiefs in mid-December 1999 in prime time for a reference point), and closing in the coliseum with potentially the division on the line.
2011 is going to be tough ... but every other AFC West team has toughies as well, and honestly? I'd rather have Pittsburgh / at Indy like we do, than Baltimore / at Jacksonville like the Chargers, because I think the Ravens and Jags will both be better teams than the Steelers and Colts next year. At worst, it's a coin flip.
The Chargers do have a slight advantage, in that they get New England and the Jets at home ... but they also have the flip of us and have to go to Chicago and Green Bay. Don't underestimate how lucky we are to be visiting the two dome teams, especially if we play them both later in the year. I'd much rather face the Vikings indoors in December, than the Packers or Bears outdoors that same time of year.
All in all, I can see another 10 win season out of this schedule, 11 if everything breaks right. (I really think Indy is going to collapse -- think 1997 Cowboys: fading veteran team, horrible coaching, first sign of adversity it all falls apart).
* Final Thought on 2010:
Again, thank you to the Chiefs for a magical season. It certainly was the best one around here since 2006, if not 2003. I had more fun this season than any since 1999, and I loved the hell out of 2006. I love teams that overachieve. They're easy to root for. And yeah, while the ending was disappointing, don't downplay the experience of simply surviving a pennant race, and playing in January. These guys know how to win now. What they didn't know how to do at Houston, or at oakland, they get it now, as evidenced in the denver and St. Louis games. They know how to close. That's a huge first step towards bringing Lamar's Trophy home.
The next step? Keep building on what you've got. We've got a solid roster in place. Assuming we actually hire an offensive coordinator, and not a glorified coffee fetcher for Coach Haley, we have a pretty good coaching staff in place, a veteran crew that knows how to adapt to what the opposition throws at you. Especially on defense, we won't be overwhelmed, like we were so often in 2009, and at times in 2010 (think denver).
With another solid draft class, and some more savvy free agent signings, there is no reason to think the Chiefs will take a step back in 2011. If anything, I envision them treading water at the 10 win mark, that seems the most likely outcome as it stands right now. And given how rough everyone's schedule in our division is next year, and especially given the huge coaching turnover every other team in the division is experiencing (new coaching staffs altogether in denver and oakland, whole new defensive and special teams staffs in San Diego), and the fact that a looming lockout will limit their abilities to implement the new schemes and formations, the Chiefs have to enter 2011 as a solid favorite to repeat as AFC West champs. For that, I am extremely happy. And cautiously optimistic that 2011 is the next step forward to a championship.
Hope to see each and every one of you who read this out there for the 2011 season. Let’s re-establish Arrowhead as truly THE loudest stadium in the NFL. Let’s re-establish ourselves as THE die-hard fanbase in the league. And let’s aim for a 2pm kickoff on Sunday, January 22nd, 2012, on the sacred turf of One Arrowhead Drive, and circle the date to bring Lamar’s Trophy home!
Until then, there’s only one team to root for. (fireman ed voice) J! E! T! S! Jets Jets Jets! If we can’t bring Lamar’s Trophy to KC this year, then by God, let’s deliver it to One Weeb Eubank Way, to the other team that I live and die with. Come on Jets. Come on …
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
a couple quick thoughts
* Sorry to see Gil Meche retire today. Whatever I and other Royals fans may have thought about the contract and the signing four years ago ... one thing remains: for one day, the Royals were relevant again. For one glorious day, someone wanted to play for us. Let's hope we have more players like that working their way through the farm system.
* I am working on my year-end Chiefs grades and thoughts. Unlike my junior year of college, when somehow my 32% entering the final in my Chemistry 1001 class, and no doubt posting worse than that on said final, somehow finagled me a C ... I don't grade on a generous curve. I do, however, hope to have those thoughts at least emailed out tomorrow, and posted tomorrow night or sometime Thursday.
(Note: that whole first semester of junior year deserves its own post. I need to get on that, a retro-active look at my favorite four months of college. Anytime you justify a 2.2 GPA to your folks with the "ok, so I was drunk, high, and playing 007 until I passed out every night. That might explain my disappointing grades" defense, it's one helluva semester.
On second thought, I know my folks read this on a somewhat regular basis. Aw, screw it, they know who I am at this point. I mean, my brother and I learned Santa Claus wasn't real when we snuck down one Christmas, and saw Dad playing the Legend of Zelda at 4am on the brand new original Nintendo set "Santa" brought us. Disappointment payback: it is a b*tch. Retro-diary has to happen!)
* Also hope to have up a few other Chiefs thoughts in that post as well, including a look back to the first round of the 2005 draft, a day best known for "The Voice of Reason" and I nearly coming to blows over who the Chiefs should pick ... and five years later, we can both still make the argument that we were right. ("The Voice of Reason" strongly wanted who we eventually picked. I wanted someone that slid a few more slots. For the short term, I'd argue G was right. For a ten year outlook, I think I was more dialed in. Either way, five years out, you can't say who was more right. You gotta love that).
* But finally ... a hopeful look forward.
If I had to name my favorite teams / drivers / athletes in a given sport, the guys I root for no matter what, unless they face each other, then I have a decision to make, they would appear as such:
MLB: Royals.
NBA: Bucks, Knicks.
NHL: Stars.
NCAA major sports: Jayhawks, Orangemen.
NASCAR: Kasey Kahne, Tony Stewart.
Golf: Phil Mickelson.
And the NFL, where I root for the Chiefs no matter what ... as well as the Jets.
Who on Sunday, have an opportunity to do something no team I have a die-hard passion about has ever done before in my lifetime in the NFL.
Reach a Super Bowl.
Only three times have the Jets or Chiefs played to get there, and all three times, they were decided underdogs on the road, and it showed. The 1993 Chiefs got demolished in Buffalo 30-13. The 2009 Jets played well for three quarters, but collapsed down the stretch to lose to Indy 20-17. And in a game far closer than the final score indicates (a late garbage time TD sealed it), the 1998 Jets lost at Real Mile High to the broncos 23-10.
Sunday, the Jets can achieve what has been an impossibility in my life to this point: NFL greatness.
I have friends whose teams have reached Super Bowls. I have friends whose teams have won Super Bowls. But most of my friends, have never seen their team get there. The Jets aren't really "my team", they're my fallback crush. But I still love 'em. And here's to hoping Sunday, sees me shed a few tears as The Sanchize kneels in victory formation, and the Jets reach the Super Bowl for the first time since the pre-Woodstock days. Yup, it really has been that long. Sadly, only one year longer than for the Chiefs ...
* I am working on my year-end Chiefs grades and thoughts. Unlike my junior year of college, when somehow my 32% entering the final in my Chemistry 1001 class, and no doubt posting worse than that on said final, somehow finagled me a C ... I don't grade on a generous curve. I do, however, hope to have those thoughts at least emailed out tomorrow, and posted tomorrow night or sometime Thursday.
(Note: that whole first semester of junior year deserves its own post. I need to get on that, a retro-active look at my favorite four months of college. Anytime you justify a 2.2 GPA to your folks with the "ok, so I was drunk, high, and playing 007 until I passed out every night. That might explain my disappointing grades" defense, it's one helluva semester.
On second thought, I know my folks read this on a somewhat regular basis. Aw, screw it, they know who I am at this point. I mean, my brother and I learned Santa Claus wasn't real when we snuck down one Christmas, and saw Dad playing the Legend of Zelda at 4am on the brand new original Nintendo set "Santa" brought us. Disappointment payback: it is a b*tch. Retro-diary has to happen!)
* Also hope to have up a few other Chiefs thoughts in that post as well, including a look back to the first round of the 2005 draft, a day best known for "The Voice of Reason" and I nearly coming to blows over who the Chiefs should pick ... and five years later, we can both still make the argument that we were right. ("The Voice of Reason" strongly wanted who we eventually picked. I wanted someone that slid a few more slots. For the short term, I'd argue G was right. For a ten year outlook, I think I was more dialed in. Either way, five years out, you can't say who was more right. You gotta love that).
* But finally ... a hopeful look forward.
If I had to name my favorite teams / drivers / athletes in a given sport, the guys I root for no matter what, unless they face each other, then I have a decision to make, they would appear as such:
MLB: Royals.
NBA: Bucks, Knicks.
NHL: Stars.
NCAA major sports: Jayhawks, Orangemen.
NASCAR: Kasey Kahne, Tony Stewart.
Golf: Phil Mickelson.
And the NFL, where I root for the Chiefs no matter what ... as well as the Jets.
Who on Sunday, have an opportunity to do something no team I have a die-hard passion about has ever done before in my lifetime in the NFL.
Reach a Super Bowl.
Only three times have the Jets or Chiefs played to get there, and all three times, they were decided underdogs on the road, and it showed. The 1993 Chiefs got demolished in Buffalo 30-13. The 2009 Jets played well for three quarters, but collapsed down the stretch to lose to Indy 20-17. And in a game far closer than the final score indicates (a late garbage time TD sealed it), the 1998 Jets lost at Real Mile High to the broncos 23-10.
Sunday, the Jets can achieve what has been an impossibility in my life to this point: NFL greatness.
I have friends whose teams have reached Super Bowls. I have friends whose teams have won Super Bowls. But most of my friends, have never seen their team get there. The Jets aren't really "my team", they're my fallback crush. But I still love 'em. And here's to hoping Sunday, sees me shed a few tears as The Sanchize kneels in victory formation, and the Jets reach the Super Bowl for the first time since the pre-Woodstock days. Yup, it really has been that long. Sadly, only one year longer than for the Chiefs ...
Sunday, January 16, 2011
chiefs! ravens! a rich and rare experience
"Do you have the time
To listen to me whine,
About nothing and everything all at once?
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools,
Neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it.
Sometimes I give myself the creeps.
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me.
It all keeps adding up,
I think I'm cracking up;
Am I just paranoid, or am I just stoned?"
-- "Basketcase" by Green Day. Sorry this took four days -- I started it on
Monday ... and then bam!, got laid out by the flu for the next 2 plus days.
Anyways, a belated look back at Sunday's horrendous effort by our
Chiefs ...
----------------------
The easy thing to do, after a crushing, humbling, horrific defeat like
Sunday was, is to overreact. The easy thing to do is blame the officials
for some (at best) shaky calls, blame outgoing offensive coordinator Chuck
Weis for (without question) a fatally flawed game plan, to blame Matt
Cassel for an awful performance, blame Todd Haley for a mind-boggingly
stupid challenge early in the game, blame the defense for collapsing in the
fourth quarter, blame someone for (arguably) the single most retarded,
stupid, idiotic fourth-and-one play call I have ever witnessed, or pull a
South Park and "Blame Canada". Just blame something.
And yeah, I'll have plenty to say below on the negatives. But the thing to
take away from Sunday is this:
The 2010 Chiefs hit their ceiling. Look it, the Ravens are a really good
football team. I was thoroughly impressed Sunday. They're one of those
teams, and I don't know how else to describe it other than phrasing it this
way: they're one of those teams that when you watch them on TV, they don't
stand out, they don't seem to be special, and then when you watch them in
person, you just shake your head and smile because you know you're watching
something impressive. I firmly believe that even if the Chiefs had played
mistake-free football, that even if the coaching staff had helped, rather
than screwed, the offense Sunday, we'd still have lost by at least a
touchdown, and probably by double digits. The Ravens are that good.
In the end, what you have to take from Sunday, is that the Chiefs
overachieved, (hopefully) pushed the rebuilding schedule up a year, and
with another solid draft and a couple key free agent acquisitions, they can
begin to establish themselves as a legitimate contender. But we're not
there yet. As Sunday showed, we've still got some work to do.
And that's ok! Really it is. This season shouldn't be remembered for the
last two games. It should be looked back on and account for all seventeen
games. There were far more ups than downs this year. For the first time
since 2006, the Chiefs were relevant again.
And unlike 2006, it wasn't the last gasp of a veteran team this year that
made the Chiefs relevant. It was the arrival of a potential juggernaut
going forward. The 2010 season was far better than any of us had reason to
believe it would be. As I said riding out there Sunday, "is this actually
happening? Are we really hosting a playoff game today?" Even though the
final result was disappointing, the 2010 season as a whole was amazing.
That's how I'll remember it.
* The one good football highlight of the weekend? Easy. Jets 17, Colts
16. I had at least 15 people come up to me, notice the hat, and
congratulate me for the Jets win. I figure this was because everyone hates
peyton manning as much as I do, and was thrilled to see that d*ckhead
eliminated in his first game yet again. The alleged all-time great is now
9-10 as a playoff starter. God bless it I hate that guy.
But as thrilling as the win was ... I know I wasn't the only one who was
scared to death when Nick Folk, a man who makes extra point attempts an
adventure, lined up from 32 for the game winner. Let's just all hope and
pray that Sunday's rubber match in Foxboro doesn't come down to a Nick Folk
attempt.
(Of course, if the Sanchize plays as horrifically as he did on Saturday
night this week, it's gonna be 45-3 all over again. Good God, if he'd
overthrown Dustin Keller anymore in the first half, I might have chucked my
vodka tonic at the TV. Sanchez had at least five passes Saturday night
that the world's tallest man wouldn't have been able to catch, they were so
badly overthrown).
* Left for the stadium at about 7am Sunday. The bus was more crowded than
usual. And whereas normally, we're 1st or 2nd in line, we were 6th.
Arrowhead Nation was ready. Too bad the Ravens were ready too.
* Headed down to save spots (which was a great idea), and set up the tent
about 8:15. If you were out there, you know how cold it was.
Unfortunately, after getting the tent set up, the wind reminded us that
we'd forgotten to drive the stakes in, because the tent went flying and
finally landed upside down about 20 feet farther up the grass. Who says
drinking before noon is bad for you?
* The largest group tailgate we've ever had, was for the Thanksgiving game
against denver four years ago. Sunday's people total came damned close
though. Ray and his group moved up our way, and cominbed with our usuals
plus the "hey, it's the playoffs! Now we'll show up!" fair-weather types,
we easily pushed into the 50s for attendance.
* The fish fry was tremendous. Absolutely tremendous. I couldn't stop
eating the cod. Also on the menu were chicken boobs, brats, dogs, turkey
tenderloins, mashed potaters, chili, and the chocolate chip cookies that
Phill brought. Sadly, they weren't "happy chocolate chip cookies".
I think I need to pull rank here, and issue an executive decision, that at
least one tailgate every year will be an authentic Wisconsin-style fish
fry. I'm thinking for the Packers game next fall. Done and done. I'm
telling you, you can't go wrong with beer-battered cod. The only thing
missing was a couple Lake Front IPA's and a polka band to make this
authentic.
* Most ridiculous moment of the day: about 10am this golf cart with a hose
attached to it pulls up at the tailgate next to us ... and uses said hose
to extinguish a pit fire they had going. Let me get this straight, because
I admit I'm a little slow sometimes -- people drinking to excess and then
driving home, nobody at One Arrowhead Drive has an issue with. People
cooking with coals, then dumping said coals while still hot onto the
ground, creating a serious fire and safety issue? Not a problem to One
Arrowhead Drive. But if you bring one of those backyard above-ground fire
pits, and light up a couple logs? That gets the fire marshal involved.
Look it, I love the Chiefs, and I can't ever envision any scenario in which
I would stop going to their games. But guys, really. Pick your battles.
You look absolutely retarded on at least 90% of your decisions when it
comes to tailgating. (And the Royals aren't much better). Let's strive to
knock that number down to a more manageable 50% next fall, ok?
And don't worry, there's more "fun and frivolity" with the authority
figures out there still to come.
* "The Crush" showed up! Always a good thing. Plus Megan got her wish: no
school Monday thanks to all the snow.
* Jasson! Hadn't seen that guy in ages. He was there pretty early
Sunday ... along with "Steve Pederson" and her two kids. I know it's been
almost 10 years now since "Steve" entered our lives, but despite the
passage of time, the education, the special training ... I still can't
understand one damned word her daughter says.
* Speaking of "Steve Pederson", how awesome is it to watch the real Steve
Pederson run yet another quality athletic department into the ground via
horrendous, utterly jaw-droppingly stupid football hires? Just when you
think he can't possibly top screaming that "We will never surrender the Big
XII to Texas and Oklahoma", he hires Bill Callahan to oversee that
surrender. And just when you think he can't possibly hire a worse head
coach than Surrender Willy, he goes out and hires a guy who has to be fired
after 19 days on the job because ... well, because he spent his holidays in
jail after beating up his baby's mama.
There's comedy, and then there's Steve Pederson. The gift that keeps on
giving. I can't wait to see how he tops this latest catastrophe.
* One bright side to the end of the Chiefs season? Don't have to hear
Castro's group's horn blaring at 116 decibels for eight freaking months.
Sweet.
* Had a Jennifer sighting! Always good to see her and Tony. Especially
under the tried and true Steve "anytime a decent looking chick sends you a
text at 2:17am that says "i want to use your body as a jungle gym", it's a
good thing" theory. Was that really four years ago already? Man, time
flies when you're, well, not getting used as a jungle gym.
* No Phil and his group, since he was out of town for work ... but they're
moving into 132 next year! We're taking over that section one seat at a
time! They'll be sitting right behind me next year.
* One other bright side to the end of the Chiefs season? The next time I
step foot in that parking lot, it'll be in "t-shirt optional!" weather, as
opposed to "yes, I really did wear 6 layers today, and I was still shaking
like Michael J. Fox" weather that Sunday was. Man, "t-shirt optional
weather". That cannot get here soon enough.
* Time for rip number one, and for this one, I'm giving it to the head
coach, Todd Haley, but the entire coaching staff is also to blame. We
played not to lose Sunday. I hate it when teams do that. When you play
ultra-conservative, just try to keep it close and maybe we can edge this
thing out, as opposed to taking chances, taking risks, trying to maximize
your strengths and establish yourself early.
If you think back on this season, I'd argue the four biggest games we
played were vs San Diego, at Indy, at St. Louis, and Sunday. They're each
big for their own reasons, but what did Sunday NOT have in common with the
first three games? We didn't play to win. We played not to lose. That
mentality completely overtook this team Sunday. Coach, please: let this be
the last time you ever coach like that again.
* There was a pretty positive vibe on the walk in. The fans were ready.
Everyone you passed was decked out in red, fans were doing the Chop as you
walked by, it was a wonderful feeling walking in. Too bad the walk out was
like the complete opposite of that.
* I was the first one to get to my seat. That's a rarity -- usually I'm
the last one to arrive, between having to hike four sections over to pee,
then hike six sections back to get my drink, before hiking two sections and
a boatload of stairs back to where I sit. It sucks that Sunday was the
last time I'll get to do that for a few months.
* For a stadium that allegedly sold every ticket that either (a) wasn't in
club level or (b) wasn't returned by the Ravens ... there were some empties
in there. As usual, the two seats next to me went unclaimed, at least
until the third quarter, when two obnoxious drunks wandered down and sat
there for about ten minutes, before leaving to (presumably) move closer.
The upper deck had plenty of empties as well.
I know a lot of folks will say that it's the cost that kept them away, and
that's fine. But it's still kind of sad that after a season in which the
Chiefs did everything we asked them to do, and then some, the "fans" who
demanded that Carl and Herm go, demanded that we replace them with the best
talent Clark Hunt's money can buy, demanded that we prove it on the field,
and then they, the "fans", would return, that said "fans" didn't bother to
show up. Hopefully said "fans" will return in the fall.
* The fans that were there, however, turned that place into a huge
homefield advantage. It was really loud in there until things started
slipping out of control in the third quarter.
* Not much in terms of pregame activity. KC Wolf trotted out his tried and
true "hop on the conveniently placed ATV and jump on Ravens fans" routine
that stopped being funny in 1992. A female sergeant from (I think) the
Army performed the National Anthem. I say "think", because all five
branches were represented during the Anthem.
And in a shocker ... I didn't mind the flyover. Mostly because (for one of
the very few times) it was perfectly timed. That, and since Republicans
assumed power by promising to cut spending and reign in the government, I
trust nixing these wastes of taxpayer dollars is somewhere on the budget
cut list.
* What I did mind from the activities on the field, other than the game
itself, was the halftime show. (steve sighing in disgust). Three things
stood out:
1. This constant shoving down our throats of how these folks are the "real
heroes" in life. I get it. We get it. Enough already. Having said that,
2. If you're going to honor Americans who served in "every armed conflict
of the last 60 years", how in the hell do you forget Korea? We honored
Grenada, which makes slapper mode on "007" look like a difficult conflict.
We honored the guys who blasted the stereo in front of Noriega's apartment
for two weeks. We even honored the folks who served in Bosnia and Somalia
for crying out loud.
But nothing, not one mention, of Korea. I mean, who researched this thing?
They should immediately be sh*t canned. I think every American can name
the five biggies we've fought in the last 60 years: World War II, Korea,
Vietnam, Persian Gulf, War on Terror. One of those wasn't honored. If I'd
served in Korea, I'd be royally p*ssed off right now. Especially since it
appears that war is about to start up again.
But finally,
3. I don't care who you are, I don't care how good of a performance you do,
I don't care how awesome your voice sounds, how many people stand and cheer
for you before, during, or afterwards.
Unless you're standing on the Bombardier Pagoda on the last Sunday in May,
surrounded by Jim Nabors, Mari Hulman-George, and other asssorted
dignitaries, and unless your name is Florence Henderson, you should never
perform "God Bless America". Period. She owns that song. Everyone else
is just a pathetic rip-off of the original. (everyone who's ever been to
the Indy 500 nodding in complete agreement and clapping their approval as
well ...)
* Man, I just sounded like some really old dude sitting in a rocking chair
b*tching about how things were when I was 70 years younger in those last
couple paragraphs. Yikes. OK, let's hit the game.
* Chiefs win the toss, choose to defer. I thought that was idiotic. You
had the crowd in a fired up frenzy. Why not take the ball, give Dex a
chance at an electrifying return, and give your offense a chance to score
quickly and put the Ravens on the defensive. Instead, the defense takes
the field first.
* At least we (wisely) chose to defend the west end zone in the 2nd and 4th
quarters. The wind was blowing straight west to east in there yesterday.
I guarantee you the wind is at least 35% of the reason why we went for the
4th and 1 in the 3rd quarter.
* Ravens opening drive was demoralizing. But give the Chiefs defense
credit -- they bent, but they never broke, at least until this thing was
essentially over. The Ravens had the ball in the red zone on four
different occasions Sunday (three caused by Chiefs turnovers). They only
got 16 points -- three field goals, and one touchdown. And the touchdown
came at 23-7. As awful as the offense was, and as awful the situation the
offense was creating for the defense, I can live with that.
* Chiefs opening drive, on the other hand, was not a thing of beauty. Run
for no gain. Long bomb overthrown. Short pass incomplete. Punt.
* Then, the one good sequence of the day happened. After taking over near
the 15, Joe Flacco starts a Ravens drive, but unfortunately for him, he
scrambles and is decked by Tamba Hali, who strips the ball, and the Chiefs
take over at the Ravens 46. Two plays later, thanks to one of the best
take-out blocks you'll ever see by Brandon Albert, Jamaal Charles ran
untouched into the end zone, and the Chiefs led 7-3.
It was crazy in that stadium after Charles' touchdown. The loudest it got
all day was the Ravens next series, which ended when Eric Berry made a
great play on third down, defending a pass intended for Boldin.
It is at this point, that every Chiefs fan started to think "holy crap, we
can do this!" Especially when the Chiefs take over at their own 10, and
are at midfield a couple plays later. Unfortunately, Jamaal Charles
fumbled, giving the ball back to Baltimore.
* The teams exchange punts, before the Ravens mount a late drive, and score
a touchdown with 20 seconds left in the half. And at the half, they lead
10-7. Still, for as awful as the Chiefs offense has looked, for as
baffling as the play calling has been, I was confident we'd rally.
* Unfortunately, I was wrong. Because the opening drive of the second half
led to one of the worst play calls I have ever seen. Down 10-7, the Chiefs
have just gotten lucky, when a Cassel interception is fumbled by the Ravens
defender and recovered by the Chiefs. They march down the field, and face
a 4th and 1 at the Ravens 33.
I'm not upset with the decision to go for it. I felt the Chiefs should go
for it. Succup wasn't hitting a 40 yarder in the west end zone with the
wind, let alone a 50 yarder. Punting it made no sense. The Chiefs had to
go.
What they did NOT have to do, is call a play that takes the runner away
from the line to gain. Which is what we did, on a toss right to Charles,
who is predictably swallowed up by the Ravens defense, and loses four yards
on the play.
That play call was so awful, it deserves induction into the "Retarded Ideas
Hall of Fame" on the first ballot, via an unanimous vote. You NEVER call a
pitch there. NEVER. It wasn't even a full yard -- the Chiefs were short
by maybe 6 inches.
Why more coaches don't simply do the sensible, obvious call there, and have
the QB fall forward behind the center, I have no idea. If you're going to
run it, then at least call a straight ahead play. Every step you take
running laterally via the pitch, you're limiting your room to move forward,
and strengthening the defense's chances of stopping you.
This play call definitely changed the game. You could feel the life go out
of the stadium after that.
* Then the turnovers started coming. McCluster fumbles. Cassel picked a
couple of times. The defense keeps hanging in there, holding the Ravens to
field goals, but the offense continued to implode.
(You know what this frighteningly paralleled? The Chiefs / donkeys game
from last December. How one stupid, idiotic play -- the fake punt I dubbed
"the worst play in franchise history", a designation I stand behind to this
day -- turned a managable, winnable game into a turnover-fest blowout. The
lesson? I'm not sure. Other than bad things happen when you make
retarded, indefendible decisions on the first drive of the second half).
* I stuck it out all the way. Most folks around me left after the score
hit 30-7 with about 4 minutes left.
* Spent the last couple minutes with Gregg and Gordon, because as I noted
when walking up to join them, "somehow I knew you two would still be here".
* The walk out was eerily quiet. The few of us who were still there were
just walking. No chanting, no cheering, just dejected silence.
* Made it back to the postgame tailgate, and hung out with my brother and
his buddies for a while. Unfortunately, one of them wasn't feeling so hot.
He had to be literally carried out of the stadium, then they sat him in the
passenger seat of the car.
And that didn't help him. Because about two seconds later, the door
somewhat opens, and he's resting his head on his arm, which is on the
armrest of the door ... and up it comes. He starts puking. I'm just
staring in amazed silence: it's not every day you see someone so far gone
that they're both puking AND passed out at the same time. Literally, you
couldn't poke this dude awake with a stick.
The cause of his drunken stupor? I had to ask. That's when one of Drew's
buddies produced a decent-sized water bottle that this dude had smuggled
in, filled with Canadian whiskey. You gotta hand it to the guy -- he drank
a sports water bottle full of nothing but Rich and Rare whiskey, and
somehow lived! Granted, he was a train wreck, and he was up-chucking at
regular intervals, but man, he drank a water bottle full of cheap,
awful-smelling whiskey and lived! What a trooper!
(The cost of a pint of this stuff? $2.29! Good God! You can't even get a
40oz of Coors Light for that cheap! You can't even get a pint of Viaka for
that cheap! Uuh, not that I'd know, of course. And he's drinking that
stuff straight? What a trooper!)
* Speaking of troopers, they were back in the postgame. Apparently Drew
and his buddies managed to smuggle out not one, not two, but four seat
backs! The troopers weren't too happy about that. Now, the obvious
question, you would think, is "how did security not manage to see four guys
walking out with seat backs on them". I noticed as soon as I walked up
after the game that they were clearly carrying something underneath their
coats that was shaped like a seat. (Then again, this is the same security
detail that has never caught me smuggling in multiple flasks, and I'm not a
rookie at sneaking alcohol into that stadium. So I guess it's not even
remotely shocking that folks who can't conduct even a semi-decent patdown
would miss out on four guys, two of whom are carrying another dude that's
passed out and puking, carrying a freaking seat out of the game).
But no, the real question is "what in the hell are these troopers good
for"? They pull up, start talking tough, demanding ID's ... and then drive
away. No tickets, no punishment, no follow up. At the very least, you had
four theft charges, and an obvious public intoxication charge with our
"Rich and Rare friend" to issue. Then again, these are the same people who
stood back and let a 12 plus person drunken brawl run its course two weeks
ago, and then let every walk away, including the guy who drove his SUV into
their golf cart.
Toss in the Deadspin stories this week of some "casual encounters" going
down in that parking lot, and I guess it's official. Lot G is the best
tailgating lot in the world!
* Not much else happened post-game. Had some wine, watched the Packers /
Eagles game, then headed home. I couldn't bring myself to watch the game.
Maybe someday. But not yet.
* So I guess for the final thoughts on the final recap of this season, I
would close with this:
Thank you, Kansas City Chiefs, for giving at least this fan a reason to
hope again. The last time I anticipated Chiefs football, was early in the
2007 season, before the Green Bay game destroyed the season, destroyed the
Peterson and Edwards eras, and led to 2 1/2 years of utterly unwatchable
football, save for that lone magical September Sunday against the donkeys
in 2008.
This season, the Chiefs were relevant again. We mattered. We weren't the
division's doormat, an honor I am so happy to see has passed to the
broncos.
Going forward, teams can't circle a visit from the Chiefs and add it to the
"if we show up, we win" column. The home-field advantage has been
re-established. This was a great season, and the architects of it, whether
they be currently employed, or previously shown the door, deserve a "job
well done!" out of every Chiefs fan, the disappointment of Sunday be
damned.
I loved the hell out of this season. I'm hoping ... screw that. I'm
believing next season is even better. And to believing you all will be out
there to witness in person the Chiefs moving "one step closer!" to a
championship.
Now, who's up for watching the Jets game somewhere on Sunday! I promise,
I'll only be 99.9999% as ridiculous as I would be if it was the Chiefs ...
To listen to me whine,
About nothing and everything all at once?
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools,
Neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it.
Sometimes I give myself the creeps.
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me.
It all keeps adding up,
I think I'm cracking up;
Am I just paranoid, or am I just stoned?"
-- "Basketcase" by Green Day. Sorry this took four days -- I started it on
Monday ... and then bam!, got laid out by the flu for the next 2 plus days.
Anyways, a belated look back at Sunday's horrendous effort by our
Chiefs ...
----------------------
The easy thing to do, after a crushing, humbling, horrific defeat like
Sunday was, is to overreact. The easy thing to do is blame the officials
for some (at best) shaky calls, blame outgoing offensive coordinator Chuck
Weis for (without question) a fatally flawed game plan, to blame Matt
Cassel for an awful performance, blame Todd Haley for a mind-boggingly
stupid challenge early in the game, blame the defense for collapsing in the
fourth quarter, blame someone for (arguably) the single most retarded,
stupid, idiotic fourth-and-one play call I have ever witnessed, or pull a
South Park and "Blame Canada". Just blame something.
And yeah, I'll have plenty to say below on the negatives. But the thing to
take away from Sunday is this:
The 2010 Chiefs hit their ceiling. Look it, the Ravens are a really good
football team. I was thoroughly impressed Sunday. They're one of those
teams, and I don't know how else to describe it other than phrasing it this
way: they're one of those teams that when you watch them on TV, they don't
stand out, they don't seem to be special, and then when you watch them in
person, you just shake your head and smile because you know you're watching
something impressive. I firmly believe that even if the Chiefs had played
mistake-free football, that even if the coaching staff had helped, rather
than screwed, the offense Sunday, we'd still have lost by at least a
touchdown, and probably by double digits. The Ravens are that good.
In the end, what you have to take from Sunday, is that the Chiefs
overachieved, (hopefully) pushed the rebuilding schedule up a year, and
with another solid draft and a couple key free agent acquisitions, they can
begin to establish themselves as a legitimate contender. But we're not
there yet. As Sunday showed, we've still got some work to do.
And that's ok! Really it is. This season shouldn't be remembered for the
last two games. It should be looked back on and account for all seventeen
games. There were far more ups than downs this year. For the first time
since 2006, the Chiefs were relevant again.
And unlike 2006, it wasn't the last gasp of a veteran team this year that
made the Chiefs relevant. It was the arrival of a potential juggernaut
going forward. The 2010 season was far better than any of us had reason to
believe it would be. As I said riding out there Sunday, "is this actually
happening? Are we really hosting a playoff game today?" Even though the
final result was disappointing, the 2010 season as a whole was amazing.
That's how I'll remember it.
* The one good football highlight of the weekend? Easy. Jets 17, Colts
16. I had at least 15 people come up to me, notice the hat, and
congratulate me for the Jets win. I figure this was because everyone hates
peyton manning as much as I do, and was thrilled to see that d*ckhead
eliminated in his first game yet again. The alleged all-time great is now
9-10 as a playoff starter. God bless it I hate that guy.
But as thrilling as the win was ... I know I wasn't the only one who was
scared to death when Nick Folk, a man who makes extra point attempts an
adventure, lined up from 32 for the game winner. Let's just all hope and
pray that Sunday's rubber match in Foxboro doesn't come down to a Nick Folk
attempt.
(Of course, if the Sanchize plays as horrifically as he did on Saturday
night this week, it's gonna be 45-3 all over again. Good God, if he'd
overthrown Dustin Keller anymore in the first half, I might have chucked my
vodka tonic at the TV. Sanchez had at least five passes Saturday night
that the world's tallest man wouldn't have been able to catch, they were so
badly overthrown).
* Left for the stadium at about 7am Sunday. The bus was more crowded than
usual. And whereas normally, we're 1st or 2nd in line, we were 6th.
Arrowhead Nation was ready. Too bad the Ravens were ready too.
* Headed down to save spots (which was a great idea), and set up the tent
about 8:15. If you were out there, you know how cold it was.
Unfortunately, after getting the tent set up, the wind reminded us that
we'd forgotten to drive the stakes in, because the tent went flying and
finally landed upside down about 20 feet farther up the grass. Who says
drinking before noon is bad for you?
* The largest group tailgate we've ever had, was for the Thanksgiving game
against denver four years ago. Sunday's people total came damned close
though. Ray and his group moved up our way, and cominbed with our usuals
plus the "hey, it's the playoffs! Now we'll show up!" fair-weather types,
we easily pushed into the 50s for attendance.
* The fish fry was tremendous. Absolutely tremendous. I couldn't stop
eating the cod. Also on the menu were chicken boobs, brats, dogs, turkey
tenderloins, mashed potaters, chili, and the chocolate chip cookies that
Phill brought. Sadly, they weren't "happy chocolate chip cookies".
I think I need to pull rank here, and issue an executive decision, that at
least one tailgate every year will be an authentic Wisconsin-style fish
fry. I'm thinking for the Packers game next fall. Done and done. I'm
telling you, you can't go wrong with beer-battered cod. The only thing
missing was a couple Lake Front IPA's and a polka band to make this
authentic.
* Most ridiculous moment of the day: about 10am this golf cart with a hose
attached to it pulls up at the tailgate next to us ... and uses said hose
to extinguish a pit fire they had going. Let me get this straight, because
I admit I'm a little slow sometimes -- people drinking to excess and then
driving home, nobody at One Arrowhead Drive has an issue with. People
cooking with coals, then dumping said coals while still hot onto the
ground, creating a serious fire and safety issue? Not a problem to One
Arrowhead Drive. But if you bring one of those backyard above-ground fire
pits, and light up a couple logs? That gets the fire marshal involved.
Look it, I love the Chiefs, and I can't ever envision any scenario in which
I would stop going to their games. But guys, really. Pick your battles.
You look absolutely retarded on at least 90% of your decisions when it
comes to tailgating. (And the Royals aren't much better). Let's strive to
knock that number down to a more manageable 50% next fall, ok?
And don't worry, there's more "fun and frivolity" with the authority
figures out there still to come.
* "The Crush" showed up! Always a good thing. Plus Megan got her wish: no
school Monday thanks to all the snow.
* Jasson! Hadn't seen that guy in ages. He was there pretty early
Sunday ... along with "Steve Pederson" and her two kids. I know it's been
almost 10 years now since "Steve" entered our lives, but despite the
passage of time, the education, the special training ... I still can't
understand one damned word her daughter says.
* Speaking of "Steve Pederson", how awesome is it to watch the real Steve
Pederson run yet another quality athletic department into the ground via
horrendous, utterly jaw-droppingly stupid football hires? Just when you
think he can't possibly top screaming that "We will never surrender the Big
XII to Texas and Oklahoma", he hires Bill Callahan to oversee that
surrender. And just when you think he can't possibly hire a worse head
coach than Surrender Willy, he goes out and hires a guy who has to be fired
after 19 days on the job because ... well, because he spent his holidays in
jail after beating up his baby's mama.
There's comedy, and then there's Steve Pederson. The gift that keeps on
giving. I can't wait to see how he tops this latest catastrophe.
* One bright side to the end of the Chiefs season? Don't have to hear
Castro's group's horn blaring at 116 decibels for eight freaking months.
Sweet.
* Had a Jennifer sighting! Always good to see her and Tony. Especially
under the tried and true Steve "anytime a decent looking chick sends you a
text at 2:17am that says "i want to use your body as a jungle gym", it's a
good thing" theory. Was that really four years ago already? Man, time
flies when you're, well, not getting used as a jungle gym.
* No Phil and his group, since he was out of town for work ... but they're
moving into 132 next year! We're taking over that section one seat at a
time! They'll be sitting right behind me next year.
* One other bright side to the end of the Chiefs season? The next time I
step foot in that parking lot, it'll be in "t-shirt optional!" weather, as
opposed to "yes, I really did wear 6 layers today, and I was still shaking
like Michael J. Fox" weather that Sunday was. Man, "t-shirt optional
weather". That cannot get here soon enough.
* Time for rip number one, and for this one, I'm giving it to the head
coach, Todd Haley, but the entire coaching staff is also to blame. We
played not to lose Sunday. I hate it when teams do that. When you play
ultra-conservative, just try to keep it close and maybe we can edge this
thing out, as opposed to taking chances, taking risks, trying to maximize
your strengths and establish yourself early.
If you think back on this season, I'd argue the four biggest games we
played were vs San Diego, at Indy, at St. Louis, and Sunday. They're each
big for their own reasons, but what did Sunday NOT have in common with the
first three games? We didn't play to win. We played not to lose. That
mentality completely overtook this team Sunday. Coach, please: let this be
the last time you ever coach like that again.
* There was a pretty positive vibe on the walk in. The fans were ready.
Everyone you passed was decked out in red, fans were doing the Chop as you
walked by, it was a wonderful feeling walking in. Too bad the walk out was
like the complete opposite of that.
* I was the first one to get to my seat. That's a rarity -- usually I'm
the last one to arrive, between having to hike four sections over to pee,
then hike six sections back to get my drink, before hiking two sections and
a boatload of stairs back to where I sit. It sucks that Sunday was the
last time I'll get to do that for a few months.
* For a stadium that allegedly sold every ticket that either (a) wasn't in
club level or (b) wasn't returned by the Ravens ... there were some empties
in there. As usual, the two seats next to me went unclaimed, at least
until the third quarter, when two obnoxious drunks wandered down and sat
there for about ten minutes, before leaving to (presumably) move closer.
The upper deck had plenty of empties as well.
I know a lot of folks will say that it's the cost that kept them away, and
that's fine. But it's still kind of sad that after a season in which the
Chiefs did everything we asked them to do, and then some, the "fans" who
demanded that Carl and Herm go, demanded that we replace them with the best
talent Clark Hunt's money can buy, demanded that we prove it on the field,
and then they, the "fans", would return, that said "fans" didn't bother to
show up. Hopefully said "fans" will return in the fall.
* The fans that were there, however, turned that place into a huge
homefield advantage. It was really loud in there until things started
slipping out of control in the third quarter.
* Not much in terms of pregame activity. KC Wolf trotted out his tried and
true "hop on the conveniently placed ATV and jump on Ravens fans" routine
that stopped being funny in 1992. A female sergeant from (I think) the
Army performed the National Anthem. I say "think", because all five
branches were represented during the Anthem.
And in a shocker ... I didn't mind the flyover. Mostly because (for one of
the very few times) it was perfectly timed. That, and since Republicans
assumed power by promising to cut spending and reign in the government, I
trust nixing these wastes of taxpayer dollars is somewhere on the budget
cut list.
* What I did mind from the activities on the field, other than the game
itself, was the halftime show. (steve sighing in disgust). Three things
stood out:
1. This constant shoving down our throats of how these folks are the "real
heroes" in life. I get it. We get it. Enough already. Having said that,
2. If you're going to honor Americans who served in "every armed conflict
of the last 60 years", how in the hell do you forget Korea? We honored
Grenada, which makes slapper mode on "007" look like a difficult conflict.
We honored the guys who blasted the stereo in front of Noriega's apartment
for two weeks. We even honored the folks who served in Bosnia and Somalia
for crying out loud.
But nothing, not one mention, of Korea. I mean, who researched this thing?
They should immediately be sh*t canned. I think every American can name
the five biggies we've fought in the last 60 years: World War II, Korea,
Vietnam, Persian Gulf, War on Terror. One of those wasn't honored. If I'd
served in Korea, I'd be royally p*ssed off right now. Especially since it
appears that war is about to start up again.
But finally,
3. I don't care who you are, I don't care how good of a performance you do,
I don't care how awesome your voice sounds, how many people stand and cheer
for you before, during, or afterwards.
Unless you're standing on the Bombardier Pagoda on the last Sunday in May,
surrounded by Jim Nabors, Mari Hulman-George, and other asssorted
dignitaries, and unless your name is Florence Henderson, you should never
perform "God Bless America". Period. She owns that song. Everyone else
is just a pathetic rip-off of the original. (everyone who's ever been to
the Indy 500 nodding in complete agreement and clapping their approval as
well ...)
* Man, I just sounded like some really old dude sitting in a rocking chair
b*tching about how things were when I was 70 years younger in those last
couple paragraphs. Yikes. OK, let's hit the game.
* Chiefs win the toss, choose to defer. I thought that was idiotic. You
had the crowd in a fired up frenzy. Why not take the ball, give Dex a
chance at an electrifying return, and give your offense a chance to score
quickly and put the Ravens on the defensive. Instead, the defense takes
the field first.
* At least we (wisely) chose to defend the west end zone in the 2nd and 4th
quarters. The wind was blowing straight west to east in there yesterday.
I guarantee you the wind is at least 35% of the reason why we went for the
4th and 1 in the 3rd quarter.
* Ravens opening drive was demoralizing. But give the Chiefs defense
credit -- they bent, but they never broke, at least until this thing was
essentially over. The Ravens had the ball in the red zone on four
different occasions Sunday (three caused by Chiefs turnovers). They only
got 16 points -- three field goals, and one touchdown. And the touchdown
came at 23-7. As awful as the offense was, and as awful the situation the
offense was creating for the defense, I can live with that.
* Chiefs opening drive, on the other hand, was not a thing of beauty. Run
for no gain. Long bomb overthrown. Short pass incomplete. Punt.
* Then, the one good sequence of the day happened. After taking over near
the 15, Joe Flacco starts a Ravens drive, but unfortunately for him, he
scrambles and is decked by Tamba Hali, who strips the ball, and the Chiefs
take over at the Ravens 46. Two plays later, thanks to one of the best
take-out blocks you'll ever see by Brandon Albert, Jamaal Charles ran
untouched into the end zone, and the Chiefs led 7-3.
It was crazy in that stadium after Charles' touchdown. The loudest it got
all day was the Ravens next series, which ended when Eric Berry made a
great play on third down, defending a pass intended for Boldin.
It is at this point, that every Chiefs fan started to think "holy crap, we
can do this!" Especially when the Chiefs take over at their own 10, and
are at midfield a couple plays later. Unfortunately, Jamaal Charles
fumbled, giving the ball back to Baltimore.
* The teams exchange punts, before the Ravens mount a late drive, and score
a touchdown with 20 seconds left in the half. And at the half, they lead
10-7. Still, for as awful as the Chiefs offense has looked, for as
baffling as the play calling has been, I was confident we'd rally.
* Unfortunately, I was wrong. Because the opening drive of the second half
led to one of the worst play calls I have ever seen. Down 10-7, the Chiefs
have just gotten lucky, when a Cassel interception is fumbled by the Ravens
defender and recovered by the Chiefs. They march down the field, and face
a 4th and 1 at the Ravens 33.
I'm not upset with the decision to go for it. I felt the Chiefs should go
for it. Succup wasn't hitting a 40 yarder in the west end zone with the
wind, let alone a 50 yarder. Punting it made no sense. The Chiefs had to
go.
What they did NOT have to do, is call a play that takes the runner away
from the line to gain. Which is what we did, on a toss right to Charles,
who is predictably swallowed up by the Ravens defense, and loses four yards
on the play.
That play call was so awful, it deserves induction into the "Retarded Ideas
Hall of Fame" on the first ballot, via an unanimous vote. You NEVER call a
pitch there. NEVER. It wasn't even a full yard -- the Chiefs were short
by maybe 6 inches.
Why more coaches don't simply do the sensible, obvious call there, and have
the QB fall forward behind the center, I have no idea. If you're going to
run it, then at least call a straight ahead play. Every step you take
running laterally via the pitch, you're limiting your room to move forward,
and strengthening the defense's chances of stopping you.
This play call definitely changed the game. You could feel the life go out
of the stadium after that.
* Then the turnovers started coming. McCluster fumbles. Cassel picked a
couple of times. The defense keeps hanging in there, holding the Ravens to
field goals, but the offense continued to implode.
(You know what this frighteningly paralleled? The Chiefs / donkeys game
from last December. How one stupid, idiotic play -- the fake punt I dubbed
"the worst play in franchise history", a designation I stand behind to this
day -- turned a managable, winnable game into a turnover-fest blowout. The
lesson? I'm not sure. Other than bad things happen when you make
retarded, indefendible decisions on the first drive of the second half).
* I stuck it out all the way. Most folks around me left after the score
hit 30-7 with about 4 minutes left.
* Spent the last couple minutes with Gregg and Gordon, because as I noted
when walking up to join them, "somehow I knew you two would still be here".
* The walk out was eerily quiet. The few of us who were still there were
just walking. No chanting, no cheering, just dejected silence.
* Made it back to the postgame tailgate, and hung out with my brother and
his buddies for a while. Unfortunately, one of them wasn't feeling so hot.
He had to be literally carried out of the stadium, then they sat him in the
passenger seat of the car.
And that didn't help him. Because about two seconds later, the door
somewhat opens, and he's resting his head on his arm, which is on the
armrest of the door ... and up it comes. He starts puking. I'm just
staring in amazed silence: it's not every day you see someone so far gone
that they're both puking AND passed out at the same time. Literally, you
couldn't poke this dude awake with a stick.
The cause of his drunken stupor? I had to ask. That's when one of Drew's
buddies produced a decent-sized water bottle that this dude had smuggled
in, filled with Canadian whiskey. You gotta hand it to the guy -- he drank
a sports water bottle full of nothing but Rich and Rare whiskey, and
somehow lived! Granted, he was a train wreck, and he was up-chucking at
regular intervals, but man, he drank a water bottle full of cheap,
awful-smelling whiskey and lived! What a trooper!
(The cost of a pint of this stuff? $2.29! Good God! You can't even get a
40oz of Coors Light for that cheap! You can't even get a pint of Viaka for
that cheap! Uuh, not that I'd know, of course. And he's drinking that
stuff straight? What a trooper!)
* Speaking of troopers, they were back in the postgame. Apparently Drew
and his buddies managed to smuggle out not one, not two, but four seat
backs! The troopers weren't too happy about that. Now, the obvious
question, you would think, is "how did security not manage to see four guys
walking out with seat backs on them". I noticed as soon as I walked up
after the game that they were clearly carrying something underneath their
coats that was shaped like a seat. (Then again, this is the same security
detail that has never caught me smuggling in multiple flasks, and I'm not a
rookie at sneaking alcohol into that stadium. So I guess it's not even
remotely shocking that folks who can't conduct even a semi-decent patdown
would miss out on four guys, two of whom are carrying another dude that's
passed out and puking, carrying a freaking seat out of the game).
But no, the real question is "what in the hell are these troopers good
for"? They pull up, start talking tough, demanding ID's ... and then drive
away. No tickets, no punishment, no follow up. At the very least, you had
four theft charges, and an obvious public intoxication charge with our
"Rich and Rare friend" to issue. Then again, these are the same people who
stood back and let a 12 plus person drunken brawl run its course two weeks
ago, and then let every walk away, including the guy who drove his SUV into
their golf cart.
Toss in the Deadspin stories this week of some "casual encounters" going
down in that parking lot, and I guess it's official. Lot G is the best
tailgating lot in the world!
* Not much else happened post-game. Had some wine, watched the Packers /
Eagles game, then headed home. I couldn't bring myself to watch the game.
Maybe someday. But not yet.
* So I guess for the final thoughts on the final recap of this season, I
would close with this:
Thank you, Kansas City Chiefs, for giving at least this fan a reason to
hope again. The last time I anticipated Chiefs football, was early in the
2007 season, before the Green Bay game destroyed the season, destroyed the
Peterson and Edwards eras, and led to 2 1/2 years of utterly unwatchable
football, save for that lone magical September Sunday against the donkeys
in 2008.
This season, the Chiefs were relevant again. We mattered. We weren't the
division's doormat, an honor I am so happy to see has passed to the
broncos.
Going forward, teams can't circle a visit from the Chiefs and add it to the
"if we show up, we win" column. The home-field advantage has been
re-established. This was a great season, and the architects of it, whether
they be currently employed, or previously shown the door, deserve a "job
well done!" out of every Chiefs fan, the disappointment of Sunday be
damned.
I loved the hell out of this season. I'm hoping ... screw that. I'm
believing next season is even better. And to believing you all will be out
there to witness in person the Chiefs moving "one step closer!" to a
championship.
Now, who's up for watching the Jets game somewhere on Sunday! I promise,
I'll only be 99.9999% as ridiculous as I would be if it was the Chiefs ...
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