Thursday, June 28, 2012

nba draft 2012: the lottery portion


Rather than post a draft prediction like I usually do, I thought I’d recap the picks (and trades) as they occur.  No, I’m not doing a pure “live blog” or a “diary” – when it comes to the NBA Draft, I leave that to the expert.  But if something funny happens or is said, I’ll note it.

I barely made it in the door before this thing tipped off.  Man, it’s hot out there.  Which reminds me: I’m sweating profusely from walking to get tonight’s sponsor, these nifty aluminum Coors Light 16 oz bottles.  9 16oz aluminum bottles for $10!  Why would you pay $13.99 for the same amount of beer in glass bottles when you can get aluminum bottles for $4 bucks less?

For the record, I think there are seven players I’d be thrilled to see the Bucks pick – Anthony Davis, T Rob, Michael Kidd-Gilcrist, Jared Sullinger, Royce White, Will Barton, and Perry Jones III.  I don’t expect them to take any of them.  Although if Mr. Hammond wanted to trade back into the back end of round one to grab Will Barton (who I think is going to be a stud), I’d be thrilled.

The traditional “warm welcome” of Commissioner Stern.  Jersey fans rule.  By the way, did you catch it?  Stern did the Obama “scratch my nose with my middle finger” thing in response!  I love the Commish.

The Hornets are on the clock.

I just pounded that first Coors Light.  16oz down, 128 to go.

Really Hornets, we’re going to use all five minutes?  Really?

1. Hornets: Anthony Davis, F/C, Kentucky.
Stevo’s Reaction: as surprising as me being two beers in already.  I’m happy for the Hornets – I love New Orleans the city, and want them to recover.  But dammit, how close did we come here in KC to seeing Anthony Davis in a Scouts (aka “relocated Hornets”) jersey for the next decade, a week?  Ten days?  I know AEG made at least a half-assed bid for the franchise before Tom “Boogie” Benson saved the team for his city.  Man, we so need a NBA team.  If only so I can find something else to waste a couple thousand dollars a year on other than the Chiefs, liquor, and adult entertainment.
Stevo’s Grade: A+.  Depending on what the Hornets do at 10, this could be the “Entertaining as Hell to Watch” team on the League Pass next year (the Clippers were this year, the Grizzlies were the year before).

The team that replaced the Hornets,with far less success, your Nathan Scott-led Charlotte Bobcats, are on the clock.  (OK, fine, Nathan retired, but still, that joke never gets old, right?)

Uum, Anthony Davis is NOT the first player since Kareem to win a national championship and be picked first overall, ESPN.  Sweet freaking Jesus, have you never heard of a man by the name of Danny Manning?

Great Rece Davis line on the Bobcats winning percentage: “it registered like you (Jay Bilas) on a breathalyzer after a couple O’Doul’s, barely nothing at all”.  That’s funny.

The pick is in.  I agree, the pick tells us if there’s a trade.

2. Bobcats: Michael Kidd-Gilcrist, F, Kentucky.
Stevo’s Reaction: WOW.  We have our first STUNNER of the night.  NOBODY had him on the Bobcats radar.  NOBODY.  Not Chad Ford, not Chris Sheridan, not Ken Berger, NOBODY.  Having said that, this is a GREAT selection.  I LOVE this kid.  Honestly, the only reason I dealt so well with KU’s loss in the title game was because Kentucky was such a fun, enjoyable team, almost lovable (if that’s possible with Coach Cal as the coach).  I am in utter shock that a franchise run by Michael Jordan made a sane, sensible, quality draft selection.  I’m guessing Mike was on the golf course and actually let GM Rich Cho (who is competent, sorta kinda) make the pick.
Stevo’s Grade: A+.  Brilliant pick.  Charlotte is going to LOVE this kid.

So if you figure Beal is a lock for the Bullets, I gotta admit – I’m starting to drool thinking of Kyrie Irving feeding T Rob.  Somewhere, I’m guessing Cooksey is getting a little bit excited at the possibility as well.

The pick is in.  It has to be Bradley Beal, who I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.

3. Bullets: Bradley Beal, G, Florida.
Stevo’s Reaction: I do not get the love of this kid.  OK, fine, the love of the guy, fine – he seems like a lovely person and a grounded kid.  But what the hell did he do at Florida to deserve this?  With all due respect, if you’re a guard, and you can’t penetrate, you can’t create off the dribble, and you’re relying on your jumpshot to score?  Uum, red flag!  Red flag! 
Stevo’s Grade: B.  Beal will be given every chance to succeed, and I think he’ll do ok.  I just don’t think he’ll perform at the level you expect the third pick in the draft to perform at. 

The Cavaliers are on the clock.  I wonder if someone has informed Dan Gilbert yet that his promise to win a championship before LeBron did is not going to happen.

Cleveland taking its sweet time.  Potential trade coming up?  They can fall back into the 8/9 range and still get their fallback in Harrison Barnes …

The pick is in as the clock strikes zero.

4. Cavaliers: Dion Waiters, G, Syracuse.
Stevo’s Reaction: my initial three words were “what the f*ck”!  But this pick actually makes sense, if you believe in Tristan Thompson.  A Waiters / Irving backcourt is going to score, and score prolifically.  And Varejao is there to clean up the misses.  Still, I’d have taken T Rob.
Stevo’s Grade: B+.  The pick makes sense, but sometimes, you overthink the issue.  This is a classic overthink.

The Artists formerly known as the Kings of Kansas City and Omaha are on the clock.

FYI – Chad Ford’s last mock draft is currently 1 for 4, and 2 of the misses haven’t been picked yet.  Not a good final effort from the Draft Master.

Random thought: if you were the Celtics, would you be on the phone with the Kings right now, offering up 21 and 22 plus a protected one and flotsam and jetsum bench players (to line up salaries) to move up right now and grab T Rob as KG’s natural heir?  Because if I were the Celtics, I would be.

The pick is in.

5. Kings: T Rob, F, Kansas.
Stevo’s Reaction: awesome.  To watch this kid grow into what he’s become, to realize all he’s overcome to be here tonight … I have rarely if ever been prouder to be an adopted Jayhawk.
Stevo’s Grade: A+.  Sacramento has its first player truly worth paying to watch since Bibby and C Webb were getting screwed by the worst officiated game in all of sports history in 2002.

The Trail Blazers are on the clock.

6. Trail Blazers: Damian Lillard, G, Weber State.
Stevo’s Reaction: smart, sensible selection.  Portland needs a point guard.  This is the best one in the draft.
Stevo’s Grade: A-.  Well done.

The Warriors are up next.  I would think this almost has to be Harrison “Good News” Barnes.

7. Warriors: Harrison “Good News” Barnes, F, North Carolina.
Stevo’s Reaction: I like the pick.  He’s the best player left on the board, although I don’t think he’s the best future pro left on the board (that would be Jared Sullinger or Royce White, I love them both).  Going to Golden State, a team in full on rebuild mode yet again, should enable him to develop to his potential, which is sky-high.
Stevo’s Grade: A.  No brainer pick, and they didn’t screw it up.

Our friends north of the border are on the clock, then the Pistons, then the Hornets again.

Gotta be honest – I have no clue what Toronto is going to do.  Although to be fair, I’m guessing the Toronto “brain trust” have no clue they’re on the clock, so it’s all good.

Just saw a commercial for the BET Entertainment awards.  I literally recognized three of the 15 acts they announced, and one of them was the host (Samuel L. Jackson). 

8. Raptors: Terrence Ross, G, Washington.
Stevo’s Reaction: WHAT?!?!?!  He was projected by virtually everyone to the Bucks at 14!  He goes 8!  Wait, since I didn’t want the Bucks to draft Ross, I’m cool with this.  I’m definitely cool with this.  Now quick, someone draft Meyers Leonard before 14 to spare us the inevitable “white guy with no game” draft pick Milwaukee is known for making.
Stevo’s Grade: B+.  I agree with Bilas, he’s a solid player.  Toronto needs a lot of those if they want to escape the Atlantic Division cellar.

The Pistons on the clock.  Drummond?  Henson?  I don’t think anyone expected Drummond to still be here at this point.  I’m thinking him.

9. Pistons: Andre Drummond, C, UConn.
Stevo’s Reaction: interesting.  If he gets his motor going, this kid can be a star in this league.  If he plays as lazily as he did at times in UConn, he’ll be the second coming of – hang on, Bilas just did his “Wing Span everybody!  Wing span!” line that ensures you take two shots, so let me start chugging …
Stevo’s Grade: B+.  Pairing him with Greg Monroe?  Reviving the Twin Towers idea?  I kind of like it.  Now if they can find a guard to pair with Stuckey, and find someone to spell Tayshawn Prince, they might have something building here.

Hornets on the clock next.  I expect this to be Austin Rivers.  I will be stunned if this is not Austin Rivers.

10. Hornets: Austin Rivers, G, Duke.
Stevo’s Reaction: I love this pick.  Love this pick.  A foundation of Rivers, Gordon, and Davis, with Ariza tossed in, is something you can build on.
Stevo’s Grade: A.  I love this pick, for this team.

Blazers back on the clock.  Please, please, please take Meyers Leonard.  Or Tyler Zeller.  Big white guys on the clock when Milwaukee draft = bad things for the Bucks.

11. Trail Blazers: Meyers Leonard, C, Illinois.
Stevo’s Reaction: THANK!  YOU!  JESUS!!!  THANK YOU!!!  THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!  WHEW!  YES!  THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!  (stevo exhaling a HUGE HUGE HU-YUGE sigh of relief ...)
Stevo’s Grade: A+ for the Bucks, F- for the Blazers.  As I noted to Brent and Gregg when we were discussing the draft earlier today, and my distaste for Leonard: “there’s only been one front-line white guy to dominate the league in the last thirty years, and in the words of Rick Pitino, “Larry Bird ain’t walking in the door”.”

Rockets, then Suns, then your Milwaukee Bucks!

Listening to a rep from the Bullets organization talk about the importance of character, is like listening to Bill Clinton give an abstinence talk.

12. Rockets: Jeremy Lamb, G, UConn.
Stevo’s Reaction: I like it.  Allows you to trade Kyle Lowry, lower the cap number, and get younger while also getting better.  The VP of Common Sense would approve.  Assuming this site ever gets around to finding one.
Stevo’s Grade: B+.

13. Suns: Kendall Marshall, G, North Carolina.
(Kendall Marshall is not here.)
Stevo’s Reaction: not a bad pick.  In the middle of the first round, you should be swinging for the fences, because you’re in no-man’s land – you’re too good to win the lottery, you’re not good enough to make the playoffs.  I like the reach.  Especially if the Suns manage to resign Nash.
Grade: A-.  Worth the pick.

Next up, yours, ours, mine, THE Milwaukee Bucks!!!

My preference in order: Sullinger, White, Jones III.
Gregg’s choice: Royce White.
Brent’s choice: Royce White.  Brent’s guess: John Henson.
My guess: Terrence Jones.
(Please Jesus, ANYONE but Tyler Zeller.)

The pick is in.

14. Bucks: John Henson, F, North Carolina.
Stevo’s Reaction: if – and this is a HUGE if – IF the Bucks manage to resign Ilyasova, the makings of at least a six seed is there.  Ellis and BJ to push it up tempo in the backcourt, Gooden and Ilyasova, with Henson off the bench, and Dalembert as the last line of defense in the middle.  No matter what, at least we didn’t piss away another first rounder on an oft-injured, never-fulfills-his-potential white dude.
Stevo’s Grade: C-.  Sorry, but when you have three legitimate collegiate studs still sitting there in White, Sullinger, and Jones, ALL of whom fill a need, and you pass for a player dubbed a “pussy” by “The Voice of Reason”?  You’re getting at best a barely passing grade.  Awful, awful selection with the talent still available.

And with that, the lottery portion of the draft draws to a close.  A horrifically disappointing night for the Bucks, at least in my eyes. 

However, I will say this – there is one way Milwaukee can still salvage the early offseason, and yes, it’s an “all in, push every damned chip plus the chair to the center of the table” roll of the dice … but when you got nothing, you got nothing to lose.

And that is for Bucks GM John Hammond to get on the phone to new Hawks GM Danny Ferry, and say “Buddy, pal, amigo, descomisado … congrats on the new gig.

Say, what will it take to pry Josh Smith off your hands?”  Because everyone on this roster other than BJ and Ellis should be untouchable … and I’d be willing to include one of them if it brought Mr. Smith to Milwaukee …  

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

the cigar box


For further proof that I watch little to no current television … I’m gonna haul out a quote from a great episode of “Cold Case” to open today’s post.

“We’re the lucky ones” ....

-----------------------------------

Today, I got an email from the Chiefs front office, informing me that my season ticket cards would be in the mail next month, and I should receive them no later than the end of July.

What part of that sentence sounds weird to you?  It’s ok, go ahead and re-read it, I’ve got at least an hour of typing left to do for this post.

(And … time).

“Cards”*.  Yes, the Chiefs no longer are mailing you the season ticket books, with actual tickets on them, beginning this season.  All your season tickets are preloaded onto a card that each ticket holder can use to enter the stadium.  Which means that yet another tradition in my life is about to bite the dust.

(*: yes, cards, as in plural.  I am not going to be in 132** (officially anyways; I plan to sneak down a time or two -- after all, seats 15 and 16 never get used) this season.  Namely because $800 a year is too much for a second ticket, which I needed to add for the jersey giveaway (our tailgating group has a plan for my jersey, since I don’t wear them, hence the need for me to get a second ticket.)  So for this season, I’ll be coming to you live from section 336, row 8, seats 22 and 23 (on the aisle).  My STH rep Kurt was really helpful in finding a spot (a) in the sun for every noon game, (b) still in the west end zone, and (c) with a similar view to what I’ve had for … well, a long time.  Anyways, two tickets in row 8 of 336 (the section is right underneath the far right of the video board, so they’re about halfway up) set me back less than one ticket in 132.  Hence the move.  If my financial fortunes change, hell yes I’ll be moving back down.

Oh, and as for the extra ticket, I promised Dusty first dibs, but I’m guessing he’ll attend half the games at most … so if you can beat his lowball offer of $0.00 for said card, let me know.  (pause ...) I’m bribable!)

On my dresser for as long as I can remember, I’ve had a cigar box filled with many keepsake items I never want to lose … and most of those items are tickets from sporting events I’ve been blessed enough to attend.  (Most, but not all).

(**: also, hopefully coming tomorrow, but more likely early next week, my look back at my favorite moments as a STH in 132.  Even if it's just a year's exile, I guaran-damn-tee you I can milk 27 moments out of the last decade plus ...)

So, instead of wasting a 40oz for my “homie”, Mr. Ticket, passing away in the Chiefs Kingdom, I decided to post my 27 favorite items in said box.  And man, is this thing a treasure trove of memories … because dear readers, I’ve definitely been a lucky one, as have we all …

27. My college graduation tassle.  Horned Frog Purple, with the gold “98” on it.  The next time my mom drops the “why can’t you be more aggressive with your life, like your brother?” blast, I think I’ll remind her of that one time when I graduated a semester early to save her and dad having both of us in school for a lengthy amount of time at the same time.  It takes motivation (and abject stupidity – ABJECT!  STUPIDITY!) to graduate from college in 3 ½ years.

26. A picture of me with (then) First Lady Hillary Clinton, taken at a Young Journalists Conference in Washington, DC in 1994.  I pass by the office building where Mrs. Clinton had her KC headquarters for her 2008 campaign every day going to and from work.  And every day when I’m stuck at the stoplight, I just shake my head in disgust at how stupid the Democrat Party of 2012 is … to say nothing of how stupid they were in 2008.  (Run Hillary!  Run!  It’s still not too late to save the liberal agenda from roo-een!)  Speaking of roo-eened …

25. My favorite picture of all time.  Thankfully for my birthday a few years ago, Gregg got ahold of the original from his sister and gave me a new framed copy as my gift … but the picture is from the Chargers / Chiefs game in 2000.  It’s a shot from behind of me, Gregg, and Jasson, along with Gregg’s mom, walking down Lot G right after the gates opened.  The only thing in front of us was Arrowhead itself.  Things may not be like they used to be, because life happens.  But every time I see that picture, I never fail to smile and laugh a little at the way things were.

24. Ticket to Game 3, 1996 AL Divisional Playoffs, Rangers vs “TBD”.  The “TBD”, of course, was your 1996 World Series Champion New York Yankees, who won both games played in Arlington that October.  Why did I hold onto this bad boy?  Because it was the first ever home playoff game in Rangers history.  (Side note to Rangers fans: I made it to all of the first four home playoff games in your franchise history.  You went 0-4.  Since then?  I haven’t been to any … and they have two World Series appearances in two chances.  Uum, you’re welcome?)

23. Ticket to July 15, 2003 Royals game, vs Giants.  My favorite Royals game I’ve ever attended.  Jose Lima’s first start.  Mike Sweeney’s two out, 0-2 double to clear the bases and win the game in the bottom of the ninth.  And the game that jump-started a six week belief that maybe, just maybe, the Royals don’t suck anymore.

22. An official “You Completed a Lap at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway” pass, from our road trip to Cincinnati for the Chiefs game in 2003.  I remember two things about that “lap” on the tour bus: (a) you could still see the skid mark on the wall in turn four from where Paul Dana died earlier that week, and (b) you’re goddamned right I hopped out and kissed the bricks when our driver gave us the opportunity!  I LOVE that place!

21. Ticket to September 28, 2002 Chiefs game, vs Dolphins.  The funnest game at Arrowhead I’ve ever attended.  If I had to ever draw up a perfect Steve day … well, I already have, and it didn’t involve Arrowhead, believe it or not.  But if I had to draw up a perfect Chiefs day, it’s this one … or exactly six years later …

20. Ticket to September 28, 2008 Chiefs game, vs broncos.  Ending 345 days of losing.  And we did it against an unbeaten broncos team.  This defeat for them directly cost them the playoffs, cost mike shanarat his job, led to jay cutler getting traded, and led to the Josh McDaniels era.  On second thought, this one should probably be higher.  Speaking of higher …

19. Ticket to November 14, 2008, at the Beaumont Club, for a night with Matt Nathanson.  As best I remember, there were eight of us there – me, DJ, Damien, Heath, Sarah, Mallory, Meghan, and Dana.  One of the funnest concerts I’ve ever been to.  Mr. Nathanson was still going strong 2 ½ hours into his set at 2am when we left.  Great times had by all.

18. The “congratulations” card from Natalie for my high school graduation … where my present was any Royals game, all summer, on her.  My God, did I screw up that relationship eight ways from Sunday.  It probably didn’t help she was screwing everyone other than me at one point, to be fair, but still.  Hang on, let me bang my head on my desk a few times over that f*ck up … moving on to

17. An official “tour of the Supreme Court” memento, from my trip to DC in 1994.  Seems fitting, given what’s coming down tomorrow (aka “the mandate ruling”).

16. An autographed 980 KMBZ notepad piece of paper by “Sweet Jesus!” himself, Mr. Ed Hochuli.  Would have been from the 2000 Seahawks Monday nighter.  And yes, he signed it, “Sweet Jesus, Ed Hochuli!” 

15. An unused condom.  No, seriously, there’s an unused Trojan still in a very shriveled up package from (I’m guessing) at least ten years ago in this thing for some reason.  I’m guessing it was an epic fail I wanted to remember … but just for my own sanity, I’m going to say that it’s from “The Night That Will Live in Infamy”, and it’s the one I refused (despite my drunken state) to use on Ratty.  Yeah, we’re going with that. 

Wow, my entire history of relationships and hook-ups is just one really f*cked up string of disasters isn’t it?  But the problem CLEARLY isn’t me …

14. Ticket to the “Surrender of the Century”, KU vs Nebraska, November 3, 2007.  The “Spirit of 76”! game.  The “we’ve literally waited a generation for this” beatdown!  The “we actually paid face value … AND paid to park?!?!” moment of incredulity game of a lifetime.  (Here’s a hint, in case you’ve never been to a KU football game: if you actually have to pay someone to park, you’re not trying hard enough to find that free vacant spot on the street three blocks from the stadium.)  Kinda makes me wish I had a Jensen Liquors receipt in there, but sadly, I think I’ve always paid the Jesus lookalike cash for my bottle of Smirnoff on the walk in.

13. Ticket to Ben Harper at Starlight, August 26, 2006.  One of the funnest concerts I’ve ever been to – me and DJ, my buddy Neeck, and his buddy Ryan.  Baked off our asses in a monsoon, as Ben and the Innocent Criminals played through a solid two hours of non-stop rain.  I’d love to relive that at least once. 

12. Ticket to Indianapolis 500, May 27, 2005.  Anyone who was there that day, will never forget how LOUD it got when Danica took the lead with 11 to go on the restart.  Hell, I wasn’t cheering for her – I wanted my boy Kenny Brack* to win (he wrecked out early), so I’d switched to rooting for Sebastien Bourdais.  But even I was standing and cheering as Danica emerged from turn four with the lead for the next four laps, and was even texting Gregg “can she actually win this” (as he had the scanner, and I’m telling you, you couldn’t hear ANYTHING in there, the joint was so loud at this point).  Paired with …

11. Ticket to Indianapolis 500, May 26, 2006.  Best race … and funnest road trip … I’ve ever seen or been on.  This is definitely one I wish I could relive someday, but sadly, probably won’t.

(*: the one keepsake I wish I had: the drunken pic of me and Kenny Brack outside Kansas Speedway after the 2004 truck race that Gregg took, where I’m pushing a .26, shirtless, sunburned from head to toe, and here’s Kenny, my favorite driver ever, your 1999 Indy 500 champion, willingly obliging the only person there to recognize him for a quick picture.  Trust me – I’ve rarely looked more drunk than I did in that photo, and that guy could not have been more gracious.)

Wow, top 10 already?  Only 5 pages in?  I’m slipping!  Here we go:

10. Ticket to KU / MU Game at Arrowhead, November 29, 2008.  Possibly the funnest tailgate in sub-freezing weather imaginable.  Solid group of friends, saw KU win on a last second drive, only to almost lose on a miraculous Mizzou field goal as time expired (thankfully barely missed) … the entire fourth quarter played in blizzard like conditions (sweet!  Yes, I hate the cold, but if you have to endure it, at least let it snow!) … and of course, highlighted by two tailgating moments no one there will ever forget: Rita taking the “cookies” home with her, and me being propositioned by a 14 year old for a jello shot … me giving said 14 year old a jello shot … and then said 14 year old showing Mallory how to do a jello shot.  Call me crazy – but I still have faith in the next generation.

9. Ticket to 2005 Brickyard 400, August 7, 2005.  For three reasons: my two favorite Cup drivers led and battled the whole race (Kahne and Stewart), Stewart finally won at his home track, and oh yeah, the fact that my boss and I were literally getting into shouting matches so loud that the claims department a block away could hear us, sent me on my way out of former employer within a couple more months.  Fine by me – I’m working with the best of the best from former employer now … and she isn’t.

8. Ticket(s) to (a) Royals vs Twins, and (b) Chiefs vs Vikings, “Double Header Day II”, August 16, 2003.  Sadly, I don’t seem to have DHD I tickets anywhere … but anytime you can spend an entire day outside in conditions so hot that even Gregg reaches the “f*ck it, the jersey’s coming off, it’s too hot” moment of clarity, and the next time that guy doesn’t wear a jersey into a Chiefs game, will be the second – that’s a great day.  To say nothing of my uncle and the “tin cup”.

And yes, Jasson still has plenty of time to pay me back for the $11.50 I spent on Royals tickets for he and his wife that day.  The Second Coming has yet to occur.

7. Ticket(s) to Mavericks vs Celtics, December 10, 2005, and Chiefs at Cowboys, December 11, 2005.  The second best roadie I’ve ever been on.  Another one I’d love to repeat again if life affords a second chance.  Because anytime your roommate realizes “hey, we’re sitting behind Devin Harris’ parents”, and you realize “hey, he knows his sh*t, they probably are Devin Harris’ parents” … and sure as sh*t, they were Devin Harris’ parents, anytime you can experience that?  You have to.

Plus just being back in Dallas, man … I so want to move back.

(Editors note: the next three selections, are all ranked here for a reason …)

6. Ticket to Royals vs White Sox, August 22, 2009 (300,001st oz tailgate)
5. Ticket to Royals vs Twins, July 30, 2010 (360,001st oz tailgate)
4. Ticket to Sporting KC vs DC United, August 21, 2011 (410,001st oz tailgate)

Yeah, it’s probably time to start planning the annual summer “adult” tailgate that was founded three years ago for purely selfish reasons – “The Kid” and I had spent four months fighting over ridiculous stupid sh*t after we left the Stubbs house.  It all came to a head over the July 4th weekend that summer, when we nearly threw down in Russ and Mona’s backyard because we were both dropping high-quality one-line putdowns at each other.  (In our defense: if you’ve seen their lawn?  There’s far worse places to throw down.  Their grass is still lush green come mid-August, should at least cushion the fall!) 

My response was to try to take the upper hand, and propose a tailgate with anyone who wanted to come, to mend fences.  In the words of Dr. Juliet Burke, “it worked”.  It worked so well that we did it again a second time in 2010, although it was so hot that the party fizzled out early.

And hell, it worked so well last summer, that I think the guy whose pissy fit with me founded this thing, was genuinely frightened that his ex (aka “The Crush”) and his wife might become friends by the time it was over.

So yes, there will be a 460 … 470 … oh who am I kidding, it’s been a brutal year.  There will be a 480,001st tailgate.  Proposed dates coming by Friday to your email inbox and on this site (in case I don’t have your email address.)  I have four dates in mind, all in late July into August, all on Saturday – 1 Royals, 3 Sporting KC.  As always, however you vote, wins the day.

(And for those of you reading this who want to go, who have never made it, here’s the deal – I provide the main course.  You bring what you want to drink and, if so inclined, a side dish.  The last two years, I’ve just bought massive sandwich trays because it’s been too hot to grill on the pavement, but if it’s not unbearable, I will buy enough meat to re-create a couple cows for someone far better at said grill to cook than me.  And I’m looking at Gregg and Dusty as I type that last sentence.)

Wow, top three time.  And surprisingly, these were not only easy to pick, there’s no ties anywhere in this countdown, save for 6/5/4 counting separately*.  Wow!  I’m maturing! 

(*: just seeing if you're paying attention the last 5 selections or so).

So … long overdue, here’s the “Honorable Mention”:

HM: Ticket for Rangers game, Thursday August 11, 1994, vs Mariners.  If you consider yourself even a remote fan of baseball, you understand the significance of this one.  So for those of you who don’t, here’s why:

It was the final American League game played before the players strike in 1994.  I was down there on a touring trip of prospective colleges to attend with my dad (who, knowing how much I loved baseball and wanted to see the new Ballpark down there, actually moved the trip up a week to avoid the strike.  I love that man.)

I couldn’t tell you two things from the game.  What I do remember is the next day, when I took a tour early in the day of a campus just south of Colonial Country Club, just south of the Zoo, right off of Forest Park, University Drive, Berry Street, Cantwell Street, hell even Princeton, since I parked there damned near every morning my last three years. 

Yes, the day of the players strike … was the day I toured TCU as a prospective student.  I had breakfast at Old South.  (THE best breakfast anywhere, save for possibly DJ’s eggs benedict.  (pause …)  Sorry champ, it’s THE best breakfast anywhere).

Toured the campus.  Loved the layout.  Loved the heat (it hit 112 that day).  Fell in love with Perotti’s for lunch (many, many, many a tab at that place was payed by my folks apparently unknowingly over four years … uum, love you guys!)  Loved my dad dropping the “no wonder my brother is such a sh*tty driver, look at these damned idiots!” to describe D/FW drivers.  (My uncle lives in Plano … and in his defense, he isn’t the sh*tty driver in the family.  Even back then, dad was rapidly approaching the “Voice of Reason”’s father’s memorial “do we take the keys away or not” phase of his driving capabilities.)

The next stop after TCU?  Was 90 minutes south: Baylor.  Honestly?  Baylor impressed me more … until they drug that poor, poor live bear out there for our tour on (again) a 112 degree day!  What kind of idiot hauls a freaking bear out of his cave (and yes, they do have a full-on cave for said bear) on a 112 degree day just to see maybe 1 person who might attend school there?  I’m not a huge animal rights person (save for dogs), but that pretty much sealed the deal for TCU right there.  I still think about that poor bear to this day.  (That, and as soon as the “we’re a strict Baptist school …” line came out of our tour guide, I was gone-zo.  Although what do I know – a good buddy of mine called him time spent at Baylor “the best five years of my life”, and knowing Neeck?  He had a helluva lot of fun.)

Now, after that delay … the top three:

3. Ticket for my DUI, Sunday April 21, 2002.  I am sure that many people who suffer the indignity of getting a DUI are pissed.  And for a brief moment I was.  But given where my life was headed at that point?  It was a godsend.  Or more like a God send.  I needed that wakeup call.  I’m not saying I haven’t done some stupid sh*t since then … but at least 95% of the time, I plan ahead – I make sure I have a couch or bed to crash on, make sure I have a ride home, etc. 

I know I’ll eventually succumb to my personal demon known as “alcohol” … but not until it’s time.  And it’s nowhere near time.  Besides, if Larry Hagman can still be a TV star at 80, and Pat Summerall is still kicking at 82, well hell, I’ve got a fighting chance to make 50!

2. My TCU Student ID.  Oh yes, I still have this thing!  And man, what passed as “state of the art visual imaging” in 1995?  Trust me – is horrific in 2012.  I look like a sketch artist from “Unsolved Mysteries” in my “photo” on the front.

Although to TCU’s credit, they were on the edge of technology back then – all our student funding was loaded onto the card.  Yup, our student ID was a debit card!

It also served as our access into any TCU home sporting event we wanted to attend – yes, TCU athletics was so piss poor back then, that you got in for free to ANYTHING, including football (which was horrific at that point), basketball (which was not – made the NCAA’s 3 of the 4 years I was there), baseball, you name it. 

Which, if it wasn’t for number one on this list, would have brought everything full circle – a card that serves as your “all access” pass.  But it’s the quote to open that brings this full circle.

1. Ticket to Projekt Revolution, August 24, 2004.

A night spent with the two ex-roommates, who I consider to be my two best friends in life that I’m not related to.  And even eight years later, I gotta say …

“We’re the lucky ones”.

Cause in the words of Ronnie Milsap, “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world” …

Monday, June 25, 2012

whatever happens thursday, keep this in mind


As I begin to type this, we sit less than 60 hours away from the most monumental Supreme Court decision of my lifetime to not involve a Presidential election*.

(*: I’m only 35.  Wow, “only 35”, there’s two words I never thought I’d say – “only 35”.  (“the voice of reason” voice) what, you trying to out-Biden Mr. Biden there Stevo?  There’s three words in “only thirty five!”  Do I?  Why not, I haven’t dropped a Biden gaffe link in at least a week …)

Come Thursday morning, a little after 9am CT, we will know if the Affordable Health Care Act is constitutional in full, in part, or not at all.

My bet?  It’s completely tossed out by a 6-3 ruling – I honestly think this is going to be one of those 5-4 rulings that the “winners” convince one of the “losers” to change their vote on for a solid majority.  It happens way more often than you’d think, actually … including today’s ruling on Arizona’s immigration law, when of all people, Chief Justice Roberts sided with the liberal opinion.  (And as usual, his ruling was correct.  I like Roberts, he’s way too reasonable to have been a Bush appointee.) 

Which is why I think one of the liberal justices is going to side to strike the entire act down on Thursday, and my money’s on Elena Kagan being the sixth vote.  Regardless your opinion on this case’s outcome, it is a disgrace and an abomination she’s even ruling on this, considering she was the President’s solicitor general when this case was making its way to the Court.  Being the sixth vote can be her way of saying “see, fair and balanced!  I’m fair and balanced!” like Sean Hannity or Reverend Al, when anyone with an IQ above zero knows there’s no fair or balanced with either of those two guys.

But here’s the point of today’s relatively quickie post, and it’s this.  We’re barely 2 ½ days away from a decision that literally will change the way an entire political movement operates going forward, a movement basically half the country (including, for the most part, myself) supports (progressivism) … and what do you see in the streets tonight?  Are there police in riot gear, National Guardmen in tanks, armed security guards attempting to quell an unchecked mob designed to storm the Supreme Court and kill the nine justices about to render their ruling?

Or put it another way – we’re barely 2 ½ days away from a decision that literally will change the way an entire political movement operates, a movement basically half the country supports (conservatism) … and are any flags being burned?  Are any protestors massing, uum, en masse at the National Mall, raping women and children, assaulting reporters, and demanding “Death to the Great Satan”?

Of course they’re not.  Why?  Because whatever you may think of our President (I hate him with a passion, and cannot wait to vote against him come early November), whatever you may think of his challenger (he’s the lesser of two heinous evils), whatever you may think of the leaders in the Senate (Reid is clueless, McConnell is incompetent), whatever you may think of the leaders in the House (Boehner needs to stop spraying on the tan, and Pelosi just needs to go away, like, yesterday).

Whatever you may think of the process to get to this point – the process, that’s the point.

Have you been watching these horrific sights in Egypt, in Syria, throughout the Middle East?  Have you seen the mass protests in Greece, in Spain, in other areas of Europe where the economic misery is most hardest felt.  (Proof once again that Mrs. Thatcher was a genius – Europe has finally run out of other people’s money.)

When things didn’t go as one side wanted in the former Soviet block, did the powers that be allow dissenting commentaries, articles, blog postings, television reports, radio broadcasts, that questioned the outcome?

The process.  God I hate to sound like Dayton Moore here, but stand back and look at what’s happened since the Affordable Heath Care Act was passed a little over two years ago.

Peaceful protests.  Lawsuits filed.  Hearings held.  Rulings made.  Appeals filed.  And now, come Thursday morning, a final verdict from (allegedly) the nine smartest people who will ever enter a room.  (At least eight of the smartest, the jury’s still out on Justice Breyer.)

And what’s going to happen when that ruling is announced?  Is there going to be rioting and looting at the Smithsonian?  Are angry mobs going to descend on the Capital and begin taking the HHH Memorial Sledge Hammer to the legitimate Greek columns that welcome you to the center of democracy?

Are the citizens of this country going to take to the streets, shouting “Death to the Court!”, before turning on each other in a violent civil war?

Two words: hell, and no.

Whatever you may think of this country of ours, and I happen to think it’s the greatest in the history of civilization, “the process” works.  Other than a couple deranged lunatics showing their, uuh, deranged lunacy?  Nobody’s going to die over this ruling.  Nobody’s going to corner a pretty twenty-something year old coed and gang-rape her in an alley, like happened in Egypt.  The President’s Secret Service team isn’t going to march into Bethesda and begin shooting any woman or child who refused to have sex with them, like is happening in Syria … and then after raping them, shooting them anyways, just because they can.

I’m honestly still torn how I want the Court to rule.  I know what I expect them to do, but I’m torn how I feel about it.  On the one hand, without some requirement to purchase insurance (or better yet, a law to allow people to refuse services rendered unless you can pay on site or have insurance), we'll be bankrupt within five years as a nation (if we aren't already there now).  On the other hand, the mandate is clearly unconstitutional -- Congress can't make you buy something you don't want to have.

What I’m not torn about, is how awesome this country is.

How barely a year after we caught and killed a man who sought to destroy us by tearing us apart with acts of terrorism … Thursday is going to show this nation at it’s finest.

We can agree to disagree, no matter the outcome.  And come November, we’ll quietly enter a church or a school or a community center, and vote to either affirm or deny the outcome on Thursday, peaceably.  (Well, unless you’re in South Philly and the Black Panthers are at your polling station, then sorry pal, you’re on your own.)

The great experiment that emerged from the Enlightenment 225 years ago, is still mankind’s finest hour.  And yes, it came about because of the Enlightenment, along with our brave forefathers who risked their lives to fight for freedom.  I swear, if I hear one more evangelical claim this was founded as a “Christian nation”, I am literally going to have a coronary.  It was NOT founded as a “Christian nation”, at least not as most evangelicals revision our past to be.  It was founded based on the idea that mankind didn’t need God to rule himself – we can do that just fine on our own.  It was the core idea of the Enlightenment.  Yes, it took the best of Christian ideas (along with other faiths) and incorporated them into its rule of law, but this nation was founded as mankind’s greatest experiment.

And the success of that experiment will be reconfirmed over and over and over again a couple days from now, for the entire world – including those fighting for freedom in places like Egypt and Syria – to see.  Democracy does work.  Never more so than in our great nation. 

Which is pretty damned cool in my book …

Sunday, June 24, 2012

my 27 favorite episodes of my favorite tv show


True story: my favorite television show of all time, is not on any major cable channel’s rotation.  Worse yet, only the first five seasons are available on DVD, meaning my three favorite seasons (six, seven, and twelve, the last one) aren’t available anywhere.

Until I discovered Amazon’s instant access queue, where for a small price, you can rewatch television classics as nature intended them – unedited, in their original format.  (And a huge “Hell To The Mo Fo Yes!” to the Supreme Court this week for ruling the FCC unconstitutional.  Quick, somebody (re)start PTV in a hurry – we all need more “Cheeky Bastard” and “Dogs Humping” in our Tuesday night viewing rotation!) 

Or if Peter Griffin and his loyal sidekick Brian are feeling really frisky, bring back the greatest show television has ever offered the viewing public: "NYPD Blue".

After searching this site and realizing that I’ve yet to do a post devoted to my favorite show?  Let's rectify that.  Below are my 27 favorite episodes of “Blue”, and why.

(If you weren’t a “Blue” fan, stick around – maybe you’ll become intrigued enough to at least give the top five rated episodes a look.  Especially number two.  You won’t regret doing so …)

27. “True Confessions” (season one, episode four).

Why: Honestly, it feels wrong rating this one as low as I did … but that’s how much more I enjoyed the other 26 appearing in this countdown.  If the Pilot episode gave you arguably the most stunning start to a show in television history (we’ll get to it), then this one certainly let viewers know that this show held nothing sacred, that everything was capable of happening, up to and including killing off one of the major air-time characters as the show began.

Best Scene: Josh “4B” Goldstein, played by a pre-“Friends” David Schwimmer*, decides to take matters into his own hands in the laundry room … and is promptly blown away by the men who mugged him in the pilot episode.  For a show not even a month into its run to off a pivotal character (at least initially) was unheard of up to that point.  For a show that nearly 100 ABC affiliates initially refused to air to take that chance?  Was balls of steel.  It was Steven Bochco and David Milch’s ultimate test of their viewers faith in them to deliver a quality show.  Our faith was well deserved.

(*: and post-“Wonder Years”.  Yes, Mr. Schwimmer was Karen’s boyfriend turned husband the last two years on that awesome show, his first big break in television.)

26. “The Vision Thing” (season twelve, episode six).

Why: because everything about John Clark and Sipowitz’ relationship (and Clark’s refusal to deal with what happened in episode 13 on this list) finally comes to a head, thanks to some divine intervention.

Best Scene: without question, it’s Sipowitz finally asking for help from the one source he distrusted more than anything (God) … and God responds by having Bobby Simone appear to talk him through the crisis with his partner.  Scene ends with Simone fading to black as Sipowitz reassures his partner that he’s got his back, no matter what.

Should Also Note: if not for ABC spoiling this two minutes into the episode via the opening credits, this would rank at least ten spots higher.  Seeing Jimmy Smits as a “special guest star” gave away the ending.  The fact that you knew what was coming, and it still ranks in the upper 10% of “Blue”’s episodes, indicates just how great the payoff was.

25. “Voir Dior This” (season six, episode twenty one).

Why: because the show known for shocking turn(s) of events, pulls the ultimate stunner, as the Cullinen trial for the murder of PAA Mayo reaches its apex.

Best Scene: I know I should say “Sylvia getting shot by Mayo’s father, and dying in Andy’s arms, yet another in a long line of tragic events in that poor man’s life” … but honestly, it’s just a moment that does it for me – when PAA John Irwin emerges from the bathroom in that bright yellow sweater covered in blood, after being shot by Mayo’s father.  The contrast in styles is haunting – the bright yellow outfit, the blood red stain.  Beyond haunting.

Honorable Mention Scene: the entire Sinclaire / Sipowitz showdown in the courtroom.  Sinclaire features more heavily in episodes coming up … but this was something nearly five years in the making, and it pays off beautifully.  (I know I’ll say this more than once in this post, but screw it, anyone who loved “Blue”, “Deadwood” or “Hill Street Blues” knows where I’m going here – David Milch (and Steven Bochco) might take four years to return to a seemingly one-off subplot … but they always got back there.  A tactic David Chase stole brilliantly on “The Sopranos”.)

24. “Taillight’s Last Gleaming” (season four, episode fifteen).

Why: because while it took two years for the setup to pay off, holy God did it pay off (the payoff is in my top two favorite episodes, keep going).  And this episode isn’t half bad either.  The basic premise: Lt. Fancy and his wife (black folks) are pulled over by a white cop in the Bedford section of Queens for “driving while black”.  Fancy is incensed and wants the cop transferred to an area of the city with a heavy black population as punishment.  Instead, the cop winds up being transferred into Fancy’s precinct.

Best Scene: when Fancy and Captain Bass have it out over where the sleazy cop should wind up.  Fancy ultimate sees Bass’ point of view, and signs off on transferring the guy into his unit, if only to try to “protect” him … but you can see in the closing scene that the rage, the anger, is still there in the lieutenant, and it ain’t going away.  Again, it took two years to pay off, but man, just wait for it.

23. “Aging Bulls” (season three, episode seven).

Why: because like the previous entry, this one launches a theme that takes a while to pay off (in this case, three years).  But the best shows do that – and nobody does it better than David Milch.

Best Scene: Bobby and Patsy on the roof, with the pigeons, as Bobby realizes his personal hero’s Alzheimers is robbing him of the memories they had.  Few people can do grief as well as Jimmy Smits, and he nails it here.

Also: in the interest of full disclosure, if I was ranking these based on how much I’d watch them before getting tired of them, versus how good the material was, this would rank second.  This episode never gets told to me, probably because I was going through the same thing (sorta), in that my grandma was being robbed of her mind by Alzheimers at the time this episode aired.  Watching her dissolve from calling me “Steve”, to calling me “Drew” (my brother), to calling me “Brent” (my cousin), to eventually not knowing me at all, still makes me sad.  It’s why you won’t see any taunting of broncos owner patrick j. bowlen’s condition on this site.  I may hate the man, I despise his franchise, and I cannot wait to piss on the tombstone of his franchise quarterback … but no one deserves to spend their final years like that, not even mr. bowlen.  Let’s move on before I am accused of having a conscience and a soul …

22. “Two Clarks in a Bar” (season nine, episode three).

Why: because watching Sipowitz and John Senior (played by Joe Spano, who you may recognize from “Hill Street Blues” or more likely, as Agent Fornell on “NCIS”) square off in a turf battle over John Junior is epically fun television.

Best Scene: the funeral and burial of Danny Sorenson (played piss poorly by Rick Schroder).  Let me put it this way – you KNOW you’ve created an incredible cast and show structure when I rank you as my favorite show of all time … and for three seasons, the apex of the show (seasons 6-8 of 12), I HATED the co-lead of the show.

21. “Lost Time” (season eight, episode eighteen).

Why: because it marked the departure of my favorite female character on the show, Diane Russell (played by Kim Delaney).  In real life, Delaney was leaving to star in a new Bochco show “Philly”, a show that deserved far better than a one-and-done season.  On the show, it was written to where Russell was finally going to take some time to grieve over, and deal with, the loss of Bobby.

Best Scene: Diane’s phone call to Danny, to inform him of her decision to leave the 15th Precinct.  Truth be told, the Sorenson character started out very well (the third episode of his tenure ranks in my top two episodes coming up).  But when Milch left after season seven, Bochco went down the road Milch did his damnest to refuse to touch, and really tried to pair up Danny and Diane.  It was a disaster, as Milch (I suspect) knew it would be.  Bochco’s only solution was to write both characters out of the show, the move had backfired so spectacularly that neither character was salvageable.

20. “Closing Time” (season three, episode twenty one).

Why: because of every “Blue” episode to ever air (all 261 of them), this one jerked your emotions the most, even more than number one on this list (which, in the interest of full disclosure, is my favorite 90 minutes of television ever broadcast to an audience).

Best Scene: arguably the finest scene in “Blue”’s history – Andy, finally hitting rock bottom – off the wagon, refusing to deal with his son’s death, drunkenly getting beat up and assaulted outside a dive bar – uttering those four haunting words of reply to Bobby request / demand: “will you help me?”  It took Milch and Bochco three years to completely destroy Andy … and it’s not like they were dealing with a lovable guy from the outset.  The next nine seasons, watching them (and after Milch left, Bill Clark) redeem him?  Was / is well worth the investment of time.

19. “Dress for Success” (season twelve, episode one).

Why: because even though the show was entering its twelth (and ultimately final) season, Bochco and Bill Clark still had a few tricks up their sleeve.  Enter Lt. Bale.

Best Scene: Andy sitting at his desk, realizing that Bale has been sent to clean house in the 15th, realizing his days on the job are now certainly numbered … and having no idea what to do, as Medavoy asks him what their plan to outlast the new Lew is.  For the first time, Andy didn’t have an idea how to proceed.  And the look on Lt. Bale’s face (played by Currie Graham) as he watches Andy?  Is devilish in nature.  It set the table for a really fun run of episodes … that paid off with a shocking finish.

(And since said finish does not appear on this countdown, it’s season twelve, episode eighteen, “Lenny Scissorhands”.  I won’t give it away, in hopes you’ll send a few cents towards Dennis Franz’ (and especially Currie Graham, who played Lt. Bale)’s retirement fund by purchasing a few episodes at Amazon … but you will NEVER see the demise of Lt. Bale coming.)

18. “In the Still Of the Night” (season eight, episode 10).

Why: because the main storyline of Captain Bass’ wife being stabbed is really good.  Because for the first time all season, you can see there was a plan on what to do with Danny post-Diane (albeit a sh*tty one).  And because the Baldwin Jones / ADA Valerie Haywood hook-up had serious potential.

Oh -- and because every die hard fan of the show knows why the title elicits a smile every time you think of the episode’s title.

Best Scene: D and Valerie, dancing on their first date, to “In the Still Of the Night”.  At the risk of sounding racist, I’m just not into black chicks … but Garcelle Beauvois is SMOKING hot.  She can’t out-act a corpse, but SMOKING hot.

(In case you aren’t a die hard, there’s a scene in one of the early seasons, I believe season two, but might have been three, where Sipowitz and Simone are on a stakeout, and “In the Still of the Night” comes on the radio, and they burst out into song … and not only do they pretty much lose it, but Bill Clark (at that point, the advisor on the show, later the lead writer) is seen losing it as well.  It’s one of those comical blooper moments you always laugh at in the outtakes … only Milch and Bochco left it in the first run material.  It’s great stuff.  So great that both Dennis Franz and Jimmy Smits, in the lookback at Blue before the finale, named it their favorite moment on the set.)

17. “For Whom the Skell Rolls” (season two, episode two).

Why: because in an embarrassment of riches, Bochco and Milch didn’t have anything for Amy Brenneman to do … so they wrote off her character (Janice Licalsi) by having her found guilty of offing a mob driver in a revenge act.

(And in the ultimate act of irony, the show that hastened “Blue”’s demise in the Nielsen ratings?  Was Brenneman’s “Judging Amy”, airing opposite “Blue” for its final six seasons … and which actually is pretty damned decent in its own right.)

Best Scene: when her attorney, James Sinclaire (played perfectly over multiple seasons by Daniel Benzali) turns to Janice after the verdict and deadpans “not bad for a shyster lawyer!”  (Licalsi got six months for murdering a limo driver.  Not bad indeed.)

16. “Oh Mama” (season nine, episode twelve).

Why: because other than the story arc in seasons eleven and twelve dealing with the fallout from Clark’s father’s and girlfriend’s suicides, this was John Clark’s finest hour.  Mark-Paul Gosselaar has arguably never had a better hour of television credited to him that this one, especially the last ten minutes of this episode.

Best Scene: when Clark and Sipowitz leave the molested son in the holding cell, to be fed into the NYC penal system, and Clark turns to Sipowitz in horror and says “what the hell have we just done?”  Which is exactly the reaction of the viewer as well.  Sometimes, there is no black and white, there’s only an ugly, ugly shade of grey.

15. “Along Came Jones” (season seven, episode seven).

Why: because of all the later additions to the cast, Baldwin Jones was probably my favorite.  This was his debut episode.  Also, it explains all the cheap non-funny “whoa, along came Jones!” jokes I used to drop at “former employer” about DJ when he’d arrive for work / walk in the room / insert scenario here looking as self-confidently full of himself as Henry Simmons does in the hysterical meeting with Medavoy in the locker room (keep reading).  They weren’t funny then … they’re even less funny now.  Although I still think “Dustyland” can bring the hosue* down.  I mean, house, pardon me, house.  (rimshot!)

(*: along with “Zues”, the name of his dog; “criminitly”, I guess to describe an act that is criminal in nature, “contriciptin”, which he apparently has managed to practice better than he spells it so far in life, “the Frye!”, a band best known for butchering the National Anthem at the Title Game this April … and my favorite, “grouse”, to describe something repulsive.  Yes, all of these are verifiable gaffes.  As our buddy Damien put it: “grouse is a bird”.  Who needs Joe Biden when you have your own gaffe machine in-house!  Oh, God love ya, what am I talking about?!?!)

Best Scene: and one of the funniest in “Blue”’s history – Medavoy walks into the locker room and sees his new partner shirtless, and nearly has a coronary on sight.  Let’s just say, D is built like a freaking tank.  (Kinda like DJ is.  Between him and Frank (aka “Tony Gonzalez”) in their prime, I had no chance at the best random hookup when we’d hit up a bar on a Friday night.  NO.  CHANCE.)

14. “Pilot” (season one, episode one).

Why: because when 100 plus affiliates refuse to air the first episode of the most hyped show of the 1993-1994 season, it’s probably worth tuning in to see.  And man, was it.  TV had never seen a character like Andy Sipowitz before.  Those of you who love “The Sopranos”, “The Wire”, “Justified”, “Breaking Bad”, “Sons of Anarchy”, hell even “Rescue Me”, none of those characters existed prior to Andy Sipowitz.  He revolutionized television overnight.  For the better.

Best Scene: I have two.  First, when the perps break in and shoot Sipowitz while he’s in bed with a prostitute, the “holy f*cking sh*t!” ending to a pilot of a lifetime.  Secondly, when Sipowitz tells off his future wife to “ipsa this you pissy little bitch” as he grabs his crotch.  NYPD Blue was the first show to truly show real life crime and punishment as it actually is.  We’re all better for it.

(Side note: when I left for college, I had to confirm that WFAA, Channel 8 in Dallas, was finally showing “Blue”.  WFAA refused to air the first couple seasons.  Thankfully, by the time I got there for seasons three through six, cooler heads had prevailed.  Otherwise, I’d have been reimbursing my folks for Fed-Ex’ing a video every Wednesday morning to me.)

13. “Nude Awakening” (season ten, episode sixteen).

Why: for two reasons.  First, the FCC levied the largest fine in broadcast history ($1.4 million) against ABC for airing the nude scene to open the episode.  (ABC appealed, and won the appeal).  God, the overreaction of the religious right to anyone having fun in life just never fails to amaze me.  Secondly, the best scene was so out of left field “what the f*ck?!?!” mind-blowing, that it has to rank somewhere in the top 10 percent of “Blue” episodes.

Best Scene: when Clark Jr and Sipowitz go to check on Clark Senior … and see that he’s blown his brains out, unable to cope with copping to the IAB investigation into Junior.  The look of horror on MPG’s face as Clark walks into the scene is as genuine as it comes.  And to ABC’s credit, they actually managed to keep this stunner under wraps (unlike Jimmy Smits’ return in “The Vision Thing” a couple years later).  I can still remember sitting in the old recliner on the back deck on 53rd Terrace, enjoying a cigar and an adult beverage, and screaming “holy f*cking sh*t!” when this scene played out.  Well done guys.  Well done.  (Plus, it set up the final stage of Sipowitz’ march to redemption: saving his partner, just as Bobby had saved him.)

12. “It Takes a Village” (season five, episode five).

Why: because of all the episodes “Blue” ever aired, this one might be the most horrific, particularly regarding Simone’s story with a mother who will do anything to support her habit.  But mostly because:

Best Scene: the interrogation of the child rapist.  Watching him play Andy against Andy’s natural reactions … is probably why “Criminal Minds” is a hit show.  (I wouldn’t know: I refuse to watch it.  If I want to look into the mind of a sadist, I’ll just walk across the street and see what low-class of life is frequenting the strip mall.)  A fascinating look into the mental makeup of a horrific human being.

11. “Guns and Rosaries” (season one, episode twenty one).

Why: Blue’s resident historian, Alan Sepinwall of Hitfix.com and formerly of the Star-Ledger, argues this is Blue’s finest hour.  It’s certainly amongst its best. 

Best Scene: Andy attends his first AA meeting.  The first of many steps in a long journey that winds up with …

10. “Bale to the Chief” (season twelve, episode nineteen).

Why: because the redemption of Andy Sipowitz was complete, as Andy passes the sergeant’s exam, and is assigned to replace Lt. Bale as commander of the 15th Precinct.

Best Scene: when Andy is saluted by his fellow officers on his way to the promotion / swearing in.  But not because of Andy’s recognition – what gets me in this scene is that Clark Junior is the one who organized it, and is the first to salute, then applaud, as Andy makes his way down the reception line.  Just as Andy’s redemption from the brink was complete … so was Junior’s.

9. “Lost Israel (Parts One and Two)” (season five, episodes eight and nine).

Why: it’s like the “Across the Sea” episode from the last season of “Lost”: either you love this, or you hate it, there’s no in-between.  (Ironically, I hate “Across the Sea” … and love “Lost Israel”.  Goes to show you …)

Best Scene: when Andy asks Fancy to take him off the case, after he comes unglued when Brian is found dead, and Israel commits suicide.  One of the first times Sipowitz manages to check his emotions at the door, so to speak, rather than take them out on the suspect.

Also: the ending, where Simone gets the confession out of Brian’s father, is eerily addictive television.  For once, Andy isn’t the heavy beating the crap out of the perp.

8. “This Old Spouse” (season seven, episode twenty).

Why: because it’s season seven’s finest hour.  In the interest of full disclosure, I probably like season seven, start to finish, better than any other season.  And for one scene in particular:

Best Scene: when Diane turns down Denby’s offer of a drink.  The interaction between Russell and Denby was fascinating to watch play out over a couple seasons (culminating in Russell offing Denby midway through season eight).  Denby knew every one of Russell’s demons and exactly how to push her buttons.  The scene here, with them in the booth table at the bar?  Is so creepy its outstanding.

7. “In the Wind” (season eight, episode twenty).

Why: because Danny Sorenson dies.  Enough said.

Best Scene: the final one, where the bar / strip club (appropriately named “Tailfeathers”) has been shot up, Sorenson is missing, and the search for one of the 15th’s not-even-remotely-finest is on. 

Should Also Note: in a sick, sick way, “Blue” caught a break here, in that they didn’t start airing until midseason (“Blue” was the first show to do the “non-stop” airing schedule with no reruns, starting in season seven).  9/11 happened just as filming on season nine was beginning, and it gave Bochco the out from Sorenson he needed – he had Sorenson’s body found in the rubble of the WTC.  Led to a sad episode to open season nine, but unlike “The West Wing”, where Aaron Sorkin had to hastily throw together a sub-rate episode to deal with the tragedy, at least “Blue” got to diagram out how to incorporate it into their world.

6. “Moving Day” (season twelve, episode twenty).

Why: because it’s the series finale.  Because Bill Clark and Steven Bochco throw us a fun look back at the start of the series with two rookie cops that are obvious carbon copies of Andy and John Kelly (played by David Caruso).  And because it’s the last hour of greatness this show ever delivered.

Best Scene: when Clark and Jones (now paired together) say their final goodbye (of the night) to Andy.  None of the three actors can hold it together, although they try their best.  In their defense?  Every fan of the show is visibly shaken as well watching this.

5. “Honeymoon at Viagra Falls” (season five, episode twenty two).

Why: because it’s the last time all is right in Bobby’s world, as he marries his girl Diane.  Andy gets good news from his doctor regarding his battle against prostate cancer.  And ADA Cohen finally gets a meaningful storyline.

Best Scene: the wedding, of course.

4. “Brothers Keepers” (season six, episode four).

Why: because rarely, if ever, does the “set up” episode to a finale actually do anything other than set up the action.  David Milch so wonderfully wrote “Blue” that, by the time this hour was done, you still had no idea if Bobby would live or die, and you were leaning towards live, based on …

Best Scene: when Lt. Fancy convinced the cop’s widow to donate his heart to Bobby.  I don’t want to imagine how painful losing your partner in life would be, especially via a violent act.  But to somehow, as a complete stranger, figure out the exact right words to say, to get her to sign off on letting the doctors dig out her husband’s heart (meaning, there’s no doubt about it, he’s dead), and give it to a fellow cop you only know by reputation, takes balls of steel.  And for Lt. Fancy, to do this task for a man who you’re not completely fond of, and whose partner you are four episodes away (two in this countdown) from literally throwing down with as racial bombs are hurled around the room?  Awesome. 

And this scene is so freaking good, that if you watched this show live at the time, you were pissed you had to wait seven days for the resolution.

Footnote: I realize not a ton of “Blue” fans will rate this episode as highly as I did, and that’s cool.  This is the “Tricia Tanaka Is Dead” episode of “Lost” for me – I so thoroughly enjoyed it, so loved it, that it rates far higher with me than with an objective observer.  (Most “Lost” fans would rate “Tanaka” at best in the 50-60 range (out of 121) … I rate it in my top 10.)

The remaining three, in some order, are not only my favorites, but the best “Blue” ever cranked out, and even if you never saw an episode of the show, you’d have your emotions tugged watching them for a first time … but I think I like the order I have them in.  Definitely one on top.  But two and three I could be debated into switching, starting with …

3. “A Death In the Family” (season three, episode twenty).

Why: because for most “Blue” fans, this is either your favorite, or second favorite episode.  For me, it’s third, because I like the one I put at two slightly more.  But being 3rd out of 261 is a helluva achievement.

Bochco and Milch were setting you up all spring for a “major death” in the Blue universe.  The one person every fan of this show prayed said death wouldn’t be, was Andy Junior.  Finally reconciled with his father, finally forging a relationship with Sipowitz … only to be gunned down outside a hamburger stand in the middle of the night, a senseless, no-reason-for-it drive-by homicide that finally drug Andy to rock bottom – off the wagon, back on his mean streak, and set up the awesome scene mentioned earlier, when Bobby demands Andy ask for his help before he’ll give it to him.

Best Scene: when Andy shows up on Katie’s doorstep.  If you don’t get at least a little choked up as his ex-wife (and Andy Junior’s mother) realizes her son is gone, you don’t have a conscience.  Also, this sets up (in typical Bochco / Milch fashion) a storyline that takes 2 ½ years to pay off … but it pays off big time, at least for me, when we get to number one.

2. “Raging Bulls” (season six, episode eight).

Why: the fact that three of my four favorite episodes of this series aired within a month of each other, somewhat surprises me … but also shows just how dialed in Milch, Bochco, Clark and company were come the fall of 1998.

This episode picks up where “Taillight’s Last Gleaming” left off two years earlier, sorta kinda.  While pursuing a fleeing suspect, a black cop is shot by a white officer responding to the scene.  The black cop had failed to wear the “color of the day”, to clearly differentiate an undercover officer from the actual suspects.

OOH, a special “racially charged episode”?  Those always fly well!  But even better?  The white cop who shot the black cop … is the one who pulled over Lt. Fancy three years earlier, that ignited his racial frustration.

This time, though, it’s not the officer Fancy is gunning for.  Nope, the fight that’s been 5 plus years in the making is about to break out, as Sipowitz takes the white cop’s side … and Fancy takes the black cop’s side.

After arguing in the boss’ office, Andy and Fancy take it to the locker room, where a full on brawl develops, as an appalled Sorenson (only two weeks on the job) attempts to keep his boss and his partner from killing each other … but only after Sipowitz drops the(unedited) N bomb to his black boss. 

And as if that isn’t good enough, Fancy and the cop (who works under him now, Officer Symanski) finally get around to discussing the situation, and Fancy and Symanski nearly throw down.

Needless to say, on a couch in Lake Arlington, this (at the time) hot as hell, 5 days away from college graduation senior sat on a couch with my jaw on the ground … and considering I lived with two minorities, it was probably best they weren’t home.  This episode rocked your view(s) of racism to their core … and then some.  Especially the ending.

Best Scene: I know I should pick the brawl(s) … but honestly, the almost ending -- Symanski putting Fancy in his place is the best scene.  When Symanski explains the reason for his apprehension of black people (he was beaten up in a park by three black guys on one of his first days on the job), and then notes to Fancy that really, this is all on Art, because if Art hadn’t transferred him to his precinct, none of this would have happened?  That’s a frank discussion that sadly probably wouldn’t make network television today. 

But -- the look on Fancy’s face as he realizes he’s every bit the racist that Symanski (and Sipowitz) are, is one of Blue’s finest hours.  Leading up to:

Second Best Scene: Fancy trying to reconcile with Sipowitz as they leave for the night.  Both know they’re in the wrong for the brawl, but for totally opposite reasons.  To see two bigoted individuals of different colors try to find a common ground to co-exist, was one of “Blue”’s finest hours.  (And to their credit, the writers never let go of this, all the way until James McDaniel’s Fancy left two years later … and replaced him with Esai Morales’ Lt. Rodriguez, ensuring the racial dialogue would continue.)

But one episode stands above all others … and it is my favorite episode of television ever broadcast, ninety minutes of perfection (for the most part) …

1. “Hearts and Souls” (season six, episode five).

Why: because it was Jimmy Smits’ exit from the show.  Because it showed Sylvia and Andy’s relationship at its core.  Because it brought full circle the emotional reaction of both Katie and Andy to Andy Junior’s death.  Because it brought full circle the Patsy and Bobby “hero and worshipper” storyline from “Aging Bulls”.  And because if you aren’t a tearful wreck as Andy grabs Bobby’s hand and notes “I’ll take care of her” as his final goodbye to his partner and best friend, to say nothing of Bobby then realizing he can “let go”, and giving the “I quit” hand motion to Dr. Carraras and Diane, then you have more control of your emotions than I do.

And because rarely, if ever, does an episode of television as heavily hyped as “Hearts and Souls” was live up to the hype.  It did, and then some.

Best Scene: there’s quite a few to choose from.  Patsy “setting Bobby free” certainly qualifies.  Ditto Andy, sitting in Katie’s apartment, realizing that his ex-wife is an alcoholic just like him, because she can’t deal with their son’s death.  (The scene will get to you, trust me, especially the footprint mold.)  Bobby and Diane’s hysterical exchange to open the episode is a keeper.  Dr. Carraras risking his career to give Bobby the dignified exit he deserved.  Bobby himself waving the hand at the end, to indicate he was done fighting, and Diane’s final acceptance of that.

But my favorite scene, and I’d argue the best, is when Sylvia enters the 15th, and approaches Andy regarding Katie’s DUI case.  She’s managed to work out a plea, which relieves Andy … then sends him into an emotional outpouring that culminates with his tearfully noting: “I never thought I’d make another friend … and now he’s going to die.”

Sylvia’s response: “you don’t know that.”  Andy’s reply: “he told me in his eyes”.  To see Sipowitz moved to depressed emotion, well hell, that happened all the time on this show.  To see him go there WITHOUT hitting up a bar, hitting up a perp, or offering a couple twenties to a hooker?  Was unheard of up until now.  In “Blue”’s darkest hour, Milch and Bochco began to write their main character’s ultimate redemption.

And that probably explains why I love this show so much – no matter how dark life gets, it can get better.  So please, TNT?  FX?  (Both of which used to air “Blue”).  Hell, ION?  Bring this show out of retirement! 

If only so I can stop paying $1.99 every time I want to see television at its finest …

Saturday, June 23, 2012

a couple blasts from the past ...

sk: I had debated updating "The Ultimate Stevo Quiz" as my next post ... but I'm too damned lazy to change up even five of the questions.

Instead, I was perusing my Facebook page today, and stumbled upon a couple archives of just ... well, how f*cked up I am sometimes.

Enjoy?

-----------------------------


100 truths
by stevo on Thursday, May 21, 2009 at 8:27pm ·
100 Truths...Dare to tell the truth!
After you've filled this out, tag 15 people and have them do the same.

sk: ok, but when i copied this i only counted 91 “truths”, so do i make up 9 new ones at the end? (guy in old school fidelity ad) why not …

FIVE LASTS:
1. Last beverage
a glass or three of little penguin shiraz. the dinner of champions! or employees of “company steve works for” …
2. Last phone call
to my brother.
3. Last text message
to chris, lucky dude, ringing in another sunset in clearwater right now …
4. Last song you listened to
“more than this” by matt nathanson.
5. Last time you cried
not sure. my guess is early october.

SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Dated someone twice?
hell no. you break up for a reason(s), why revisit the drama.
2. Been cheated on?
yup.
3. Kissed someone & regretted it?
no.
4. Lost someone special?
in hindsight ... yup.
5. Been depressed?
according to the trained professionals, yup.
6. Been drunk and threw up?
(maury voice) our test determined that I have thrown up drunk more than (blank) times.

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
1. green.
2. red.
3. orange.
4. the baby blue in the chargers’ throwback uniforms. actually that might be number one, now that i think about it.

HAVE YOU:
1. Made new friends
yup.
2. Fallen out of love
yup.
3. Laughed until you cried
yup.
4. Met someone who changed you
no.
5. Found out who your true friends were
yup.
6. Found out someone was talking about you
yup, but who cares, you are what you are; if someone has a problem with that, then it sucks to be them.
7. Kissed anyone on your friend's list
fantasy list, no. reality list, only in a friendly manner.
8. How many kids do you want to have
1. but not anytime soon. if it’s a boy, shea marcus. if it’s a girl, bailey nicole.
9. Do you want to change your name
no.
10. What did you do for your last birthday
alcohol, my brother, our buddy chris, and the isle were involved. enough said.
11. What time did you wake up today
6ish.
12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
snoring.
13. Name something you CANNOT wait for
august 15! the preseason home opener! the return of kitchen cooked chips! 105 and sunny! ooh, and one final, incredible, amazing grigsby tailgate at arrowhead! (seriously, tailgating is not the same without the entire grigsby clan. At least we get one more crack at it!)
14. Last time you saw your father
last saturday.
15. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life
texas, here i come!!! … in all seriousness, i’m not sure i’d change anything either past or present, no matter how ugly it was or how much i regret it. (“lost” voice) whatever happened, happened. but moving back to the metroplex would not suck …
16. What are you listening to right now
“i saw” by matt nathanson.
17. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom
yup.
18. What's getting on your nerves right now?
the revisionist history dick cheney and rush limbaugh are undertaking for the last 8 years. if you don't like the administration you've got, look in the mirror guys, you brought it on yourselves. don't lie about "mission accomplished" or being a "compassionate conservative", you might have maintained your hold on power ...
19. Most visited webpage
ew.com, msnbc.com, bobgretz.com. and good friend’s blogs, like megangermany.blogspot.com.

ABOUT YOU:
1. What's your name
steven.
2. Nicknames
stevo.
3. Relationship Status
happily not single.
4. Zodiac sign
capricorn.
5. Male or female or transgendered
male.
6. Hair color
light brown most of the year, but the sun turns it blond in the summer.
7. Long or short
short.
8. Height
5 11.
9. Do you have a crush on someone?
yup.
10: What do you like about yourself?
that i am comfortable being me. i think the worst thing in life is to hate who you are.
11. Piercings
not gonna happen.
12. Tattoos
not yet, but eventually i’ll enter the early 2000s and get inked up. i am one of the only 3 nba addicts in kc after all, you gotta have ink to root for the league …
13. Righty or lefty
righty.

FIRSTS :
1. First surgery
other than stitches, none that i can recall.
2. First piercing
isn’t gonna happen.
3. First best friend
ben or ryan. one of the two.
4. First sport you joined
soccer. seriously, i think it was like a requirement or something that every joco kid had to be on a team in the shawnee soccer club.
5. First pet
not sure. i think i had a gerbil or a hamster or something when i was really young.
6. First vacation
again, not sure, but i’d guess new york or dallas to visit the family.
7. First concert
wow. i’d guess paul mccartney in 92? can’t remember any before that one.
8. First crush
i’d guess stephanie? can’t remember any before her.

RIGHT NOW:
1. Eating
nope.
2. Drinking
absolutely.
3. I'm about to
bunker down for some nba playoff action.
4. Listening to
“bent” by matt nathanson. the guy is just incredible live. and go figure, it’s a live cd on itunes i’m listening to …
5. Waiting for
the magical trifecta of prerace perfection sunday morning!!! “taps” by the purdue marching band’s trumpet soloist, as the video boards honor those who paid the ultimate sacrifice last year; “god bless america” by florence henderson, and of course, the moment guaranteed to make me have to re-answer the “when was the last time you cried” question earlier … “back home again in indiana” by our good friend, mr. jim nabors! “when i dream about the moonlight on the wabash” as the balloons fly, the greatest moment in motorsports, bar none. well, other than when dario won two years ago, and his better half ashley judd ran down the frontstretch in a revealing dress getting drenched in the rain, that might have been the greatest moment in motorsports …

YOUR FUTURE :
1. Want kids?
wasn’t this question already asked?
2. Want to get married?
someday. not right now though.
3. Careers in mind?
i would love to get into sports administration. anything other than the hell on earth that i show up most days for now.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
1. Lips or eyes?
eyes.
2. Hugs or kisses?
kisses.
3. Shorter or taller?
shorter.
4. Older or Younger?
younger.
5. Romantic or spontaneous?
spontaneous.
6. Nice stomach or nice arms?
stomach.
7. Spontaneous or loud?--> spontaneous.
8. Hook-up or relationship?
relationship.
(see, who says i can't keep an answer short and simple ...)

HAVE YOU EVER :
1. Kissed a stranger?
yup.
2. Lost glasses/contacts?
yup.
3. Sex on first date?
(bill clinton voice) depends on the definition of the word “date”.
4. Broken someone's heart?
yup.
5. Had your own heart broken?
yup.
6. Been arrested?
yup. at least the roommate remembered to tivo "the practice" and wrestlemania’s main event during my unfortunate couple hours of incarceration. seriously, you have to love living in a city, a suburb, with so little actual crime, so little actual illegal activity, that failing to pay a speeding ticket 5 freaking days earlier results in your arrest on a sunday night at 9pm in your own home. why i will never move back to johnson county kansas 101 …
7. Turned someone down?
yup.
8. Cried when someone died?
yup.
9. Liked a friend that is a girl/boy?
yup. she was called "the wife" for a reason ...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
1. Yourself?
most of the time.
2. Miracles?
some of the time.
3. Love at first sight
most of the time.
4. Heaven --> yup.
5. Santa Clause
no.
6. Kiss on the first date?
yup.
7. Angels
yup.

STEVE ADDS NINE MORE TO HIT 100! FAVORITES:
1. Song
depends on my mood: “innocent” by our lady peace if i’m upbeat; “perfect memory” by remy zero if i’m not.
2. CD
“both sides of the gun” by ben harper, or “at the point (live)” by matt nathanson. i refuse to make a choice, they’re both awe inspiring.
3. TV Show
of all time, “nypd blue”. currently on the air, “lost”.
4. “American Idol” Contestant
of all time, the awesomeness that was (and is) blake lewis. this year, matt giraud.
5. Movie
“the devil’s advocate”.
6. Team
(ida mcbeth or rev. hal weeks voice) oh say does that star spangled banner yet wave? o’er the land of the free … and the home … of the … CHIEFS!!!
7. Pastime
either tailgating the day away at the sports complex, or floating in the pool. and a few lucky sundays each summer, both!
8. Roadtrip
three stand out: dallas in 05 for the chiefs / cowboys and celtics / mavs; indy in 06 for the 500; and houston in 07 for the chiefs / texans. if you put a gun to my head and made me pick one … i’d go with indy in 06. that for me was as good as it gets. arguably the best 3 days of my life. one of those “i’d give anything to go back and relive it” kind of weekends.
9. Concert
either “projekt revolution” at sandstone in 2004, ben harper at starlight in a friggin monsoon in 2006, or matt nathanson at the bottleneck last november. another “i refuse to choose” scenario, they all were beyond amazing experiences.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
1. Is there one person you want to be with right now?
yup.
2. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time?
is this a joke? i’m lucky to just have one!
3. Will you repost this?
isn’t that the whole point of answering this?
4. Did you lie at any of these questions?
no.

-----------------------------------------

steve-ology
by stevo on Saturday, August 1, 2009 at 10:42pm ·
I tagged you because I'm hoping you'll fill this out about yourself. I would love to find out more about you! Copy this, paste in a new note, replace my answers with yours and re-post this as your name followed by "ology".

sk: ok. since hannah led this off, i'll make sure she's tagged. (aw ...)

***********FOODOLOGY***************
What is your salad dressing of choice?
sk: the "pink stuff" from pizza shoppe. or ranch if that's not available.

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
sk: uncle julio's in fort worth. best restaurant ever! (assuming its still open, i haven't been there in like 4 years. camp bowie at the west freeway, get off on hulen or montgomery, and take the access road south under the west freeway overpass. can't miss it on your right. wait, i do miss it, a lot ...)

in kc, probably heywards (college and antioch).

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
sk: uncle julio's fajita platter. ditto heyward's burnt ends platter(s), nancy's steak kabobs, and anything russ grills on sunday evening after a fun filled day at the pool.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
sk: chicken, red onion, green peppers, and barbeque sauce. basically what california pizza kitchen makes on their bbq chicken. its that good.

What do you like to put on your toast?
sk: nothing, i don't eat toast.

********TECHNOLOGY***************
How many televisions are in your house?
sk: 2. good enough for now.

What color is your cellphone?
sk: black and bruised.

Do you have an iPod?
sk: yup.

***************BIOLOGY******************
Are you right-handed or left-handed?
sk: righty.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
sk: 5 wisdom teeth, if that counts.

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
sk: my big screen. heavy as holy hell. not that gregg and i got stuck on the steps back in the day trying to move it out of the apartment. its not a two man job, that's for sure.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
sk: other than by that grizzled veteran known as "alcohol", nope.

************BULLOLOGY**************
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
sk: no.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
sk: i'm good with steve or stevo, so no, i wouldn't change.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
sk: absolutely, if there was a frosty cold coors light to enjoy with it.

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
Season?
sk: seriously, this is a question? easy, summer. i wish it was 105 and sunny every day! i think any day that the first thought when you roll out of bed is "whoa, its kinda cold, let me grab a t-shirt here", is too cold! what the hell did you think i'd say, spring?

Holiday?
sk: 4th of july. any day built around blowing stuff up, drinking ridiculous amounts of alcohol, getting a ton of sun, and doing it in the name of freedom, that's my kind of day.

Day of the week?
sk: sunday. my one, guaranteed, sleep in, "hit the remote and fire up 90210" morning. and of course, afternoon at the pool or the sports complex more than half of the time. (drew voice) good stuff.

Month?
sk: september. football kicks off, nba is barely a month away, and baseball hits the home stretch. plus its still usually in the 80s at worst during the day. what's not to love? (other than its the last good month of the year up here ...)

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
Missing someone?
sk: no.

Mood?
sk: surprisingly upbeat, given everything going on.

What are you listening to?
sk: "heartbreak world" by matt nathanson. anything by that guy is golden.

Current worry?
sk: employment status at this time two months from now. as much as i hate my job, its still a dependable paycheck. then again, under this president, unemployment is as well, no way he'll shut off a government payment to anyone! so on second thought, (bobby mcferrin voice) don't worry! be happy!

************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
First place you went this morning?
sk: the bathroom.

What's the last movie you saw?
sk: in the theater, the new "fast and the furious" movie from earlier this year. any movie, i watched one of my two favorites of all time, "saturday night fever", in a pathetically edited format earlier today on some cable channel.

*************OTHER-OLOGY*****************
How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
sk: two.

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
sk: four years ago, during my unfortunate night of incarceration.

Last person you talked to?
sk: my brother.

Last person you hugged?
sk: my mom.

Do you always answer your phone?
sk: not if i don't recognize the number.

It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
sk: a drunk dial. i could lie and say a booty call, but come on, why insult reality. its a drunk dial.

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
sk: i'm good with blue, why change what works.

What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
sk: always get cherry added to the coke.

Do you own a digital camera?
sk: yup.

Have you ever had a pet fish?
sk: no.

Favorite Christmas song(s)
sk: religious, "o holy night". secular, "someday at christmas".

What's on your wish list for your birthday?
sk: the chiefs first win at fake mile high. here's hoping dj, kellie, katie and i are there to witness it.

Can you do push ups?
sk: in minimal increments. and please don't ask for a definition of "minimal". use your imagination.

Can you do the splits?
sk: not a shot in hell.

Have you ever been in a car accident?
sk: yup, but neither was my fault.

Do you have an accent?
sk: sadly, no. i thought texas would rub off on me more.

What is the last movie to make you cry?
sk: united 93.

Plans tonight?
sk: finish typing up what i do for my eventual replacement, and enjoy a glass or four of shiraz. (former president bush voice) mission accomplished! y'all can guess which of the two "missions" i actually accomplished ...

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
sk: i know i've hit rock bottom. and rebounded. if i can come back, anyone can.

Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
sk: breakfast quesadillas at work, gas to fill the blazer, a few bottles of little penguin shiraz to get through the next week.

Have you ever been given roses?
sk: nope.

Met someone who changed your life?
sk: nope.

How will you bring in the New Year?
sk: the same way i always do: spend time with friends up until about 10:30ish, then give a convenient (and absolute bullsh*t) excuse to go home, sit on the couch, and raise a glass of champagne to "strokey" dick clark. as long as that man draws breath and hosts abc's coverage, i will ring it in with him on my couch. anyone is free to join me, but as long as "strokey" dick clark is ringing in the new year, i'll spend it with him on my couch. hokey, sure. pathetic, absolutely. a decade long tradition? (sarah palin voice) you betcha!

What song represents you?
sk: just one? i've got four. "i don't wanna be" by gavin degraw. "across the universe" by the beatles. "second place victory" by this day and age. and the one that best fits my style, "no shoes, no shirt, no problems" by kenny chesney.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
sk: no. i was born for this day, for this age. as was everyone else.

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
sk: no. close, but not quite.

Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
sk: shockingly, neither. although if i could ever find a tattoo i wanted, i'd get it. piercing, not a shot in hell.

Does anyone love you?
sk: my mommy on occasion. my daddy most of the time. my friends (including my brother) all of the time. so yes, i am loved.

Would you be a pirate?
sk: nope. wouldn't want to live on a boat.

What songs do you sing in the shower?
sk: whatever's on my mind at the time i enter said shower.

Ever had someone sing to you?
sk: probably my mommy as a kid. other than that, no.

Do you like to cuddle?
sk: when somewhat awake, sure, its muy bueno. but when trying to fall asleep, well, i sleep on my side in the fetal position. so unless she rolls my way and makes the effort, it ain't happening until the morning.

Have you held hands with anyone today?
sk: no.

Who was the last person you took a picture of?
sk: ayden. cutest kid ever.

Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
sk: a healthy combination of both. i'd like to think i've held on to the best of both. (aw ...)

Do you like pulpy orange juice?
sk: hell yes! even the concentrate stuff, i won't buy it unless it has pulp.

What is something your friends make fun of you for?
sk: being me. which in their defense, i completely understand. :)

week twelve picks

The Statisticals. Last Week SU: 8-6-0. Season to Date SU: 98-62-1. Last Week ATS: 7-7-0. Season to Date ATS: 75-80-6. Last Week Upset / ...