(greatest political ad ever voice) it's morning in arrowhead nation again ...

"Every day's so caffeinated,

I wish they were Golden Gated --

Fillmore couldn't feel more miles away.

So wrap me up return to sender;

Let's forget this five year bender --

Take me to my city by the Bay!

I never knew all that I had;

Now Alcatraz don't sound so bad --

At least they'd have a hella fine merlot!

If I could wish upon a star?

I would hitch a cable car

To the one place that I'll always call my home ...

Cause I've been high!  And I've been low!

I've been yes, and I've been oh hell no!

I've been rock and roll and disco --

Won't you save me, San Francisco?

I've been up, and I've been down!

I've been so damned lost with you not around!

I've been reggae and calypso --

Won't you save me, San Francisco?"

-- "Save Me, San Francisco" by Train, a song that I love more every time I hear it, and will never, and I mean never, be bumped from the Mixologist's Playlist for any tailgate I'm programming the music for.  Which is pretty much all of them ...

---------------------------------------------------------

Steve DeBerg.  Joe Montana.  Steve Bono.  Elvis Grbac.  And now, Alex Smith.

For the fifth time in twenty five years, the Chiefs are turning to that City by the Bay to solve their long-term problem at the quarterback position.

And this time folks -- it's going to work.

I love this trade.

Wait -- scratch that. 

I absolutely LOVE this trade!

I admit, when I first heard about it, via a text from my buddy Damien, my reaction was "whoa!  We gave up way too much!"  I believe I even mentioned that "best thing about this deal is Chiefs not repeating Cassel mistake and giving (Smith) new contract right away."  

And then ... I started to look into it, and after researching Mr. Smith all day long (slow day at work for once), after watching the video highlights of his last four years, watching countless pivotal moments he faced over the last year and a half ... this is my gut honest reaction -- in three points:

* Alex Smith is the fifth 49ers quarterback in twenty five years, to try to take the Chiefs to the promised land.  Each of the previous four, at least got us to the divisional round of the playoffs.  Each of the four mentioned above started at least one playoff game at Arrowhead.  That's a good thing, really.

* I believe Alex Smith will carry on that tradition, possibly as soon as January 2014, definitely by January 2015.

Yesterday, Kevin Keitzman said on his show that "this is a historic deal!  We are going to remember this (day) for the rest of our lives!"  For possibly the thirteenth time in my life, I concur with Kevin Keitzman ...

* Because I believe he will achieve what the four prior 49ers quarterbacks who landed here failed to do, and that is bring Mr. Hunt's Trophy home where it belongs, every year -- at One Arrowhead Drive.

(cue collective gasp from the audience)

Allow me to explain why.

To Chiefs fans who argue that he is merely a league-average quarterback, my response is "so?"  A league average dude just won the damned Lombardi Trophy!  Would you rather pay Joe Flacco $50 some odd million dollars over the next two years, or Alex Smith $16 million*?

(*: my initial reaction, and I got into it a bit with Dusty last night over this was "Flacco, $50 million, no brainer!"  But as I mentioned a moment ago -- then I looked at the numbers ... and (Joe Biden voice) Folks!  I believe the Chiefs just took a huge third step into building something (the great Mr. Hugh M. Hefner voice) really special with this move.  I was wr ... wr ... wr ... had my words taken out of context, in my initial response.)

And frankly, I reject that Alex Smith is destined to be a league average quarterback.  Let's look at his stats over the last four years, with appropriate notes accompanying them.  (Source for stats: nfl.com)

2009: 11 starts.  225/372 (60.5%); 2,350 yards; 18 TD / 12 INT; 33 plays 20+ yards; 5 plays 40+ yards; 81.5 rating.

* Look at the next to last stat folks -- 5 plays of over 40 yards (the largest being a 73 yard touchdown).  Care to guess how many 40+ yard plays the Chiefs managed by throwing the ball last year? 

Three -- and one of them (a 41 yard bomb to Dwayne Bowe against San Diego) was called back via penalty.  (Brady Quinn had both 40+ yard plays that counted.)

Nearly 10 percent of his throws that year, went for 20+ yards.  Care to guess what the Chiefs percentage was this year, of passing plays for over 20 yards?

7.5%.  That's atrocious.

* Furthermore, 18 TD / 12 INT ratio isn't great ... but given that Matt Cassel and Brady Quinn combined for 8 TD / 20 INT last year, it's an upgrade.

* Also, this was Smith's WORST season, of the last four years, at least via QB Rating.  A sensible person would factor in the coaching staff he was laboring under, and conclude he had one helluva season.  (The 49ers coach for '09 and '10 was Mike Singletary, in case you've forgotten.)  Now, you can argue 2010 was slightly worse, based on overall stats ... so let's look at them!  Wow, I'm sneaky good like that!

2010: 11 starts.  204/342 (59.6%); 2,370 yards; 14 TD / 10 INT; 30 plays 20+ yards; 7 plays 40+ yards; 82.1 rating.

* Same number of starts, nearly the same completion percentage, nearly the same yardage, fewer INTs (and fewer TDs).  The 49ers (justifiably) fired Mike Singletary with one game left in the season.  Alex Smith is not the reason he was fired.  (If anything, I'd suggest benching Alex Smith for Troy Smith, was a contributing factor.)

2011: 16 starts.  273/445 (61.3%); 3,144 yards; 17 TD / 5 INT; 41 plays 20+ yards; 6 plays 40+ yards; 90.7 rating.

* Basically, Matt Cassel's 2010 season (15 starts, 262/450 (59%), 3,114 yards, 27 TD / 7 INT, 93.0 rating), which resulted in a division championship for the Chiefs.  I ask you -- is there any Chiefs fan with an IQ above the current outdoor temperature (which is 33 degrees according to weather.com) who would turn that down at this point?

If you would, please -- if you don't get help at Charter, seek help somewhere.

* But to be honest?  I hate comparing Alex Smith's 2011 season to Matt Cassel's 2010, because Cassel's was an aberration.  He never before, nor since, approached that season statistically.  Look at Smith's last three years of stats, and certain things will stand out, such as --

Notice how his completion percentage keeps rising, his interception total keeps plummeting, his rating keeps rising, and most importantly, he's still gaining yards in chunks -- once again, 10% of his throws went for 20+ yards. 

* The 49ers won the NFC West in 2011 -- here are his playoff stats that year too, since playoff success is how Alex Smith will ultimately be judged in the City of Fountains:

vs Saints (W 36-32): 24/42, 299 yards, 3 TD / 0 INT ... and "The Catch III", as he led the 49ers on a last second touchdown drive, moving them 89 yards in barely two minutes, hitting Vernon Davis perfectly in the end zone with 0:09 remaining to give the 49ers their first playoff win since "The Botch", when the Giants screwed up the snap on a field goal attempt in the 2002 wildcard game.  Ironically enough, his other playoff start in 2011 was against ... (Norm MacDonald voice) You guessed it -- Frank Stallone!  Oh no, wait.  You guessed it -- the Giants.

vs Giants (L 17-20 OT): 12/26, 196 yards, 2 TD / 0 INT.  Untold in simple statistics, however, is that (a) Smith led the 49ers on another 4th quarter drive, this time to tie the game at 17 with a little under four minutes to play, and (b) he didn't lose this game in overtime -- Kyle Williams fumbling a punt at his ten yard line, leading to a gimme Giants field goal on the next play, did.

Which means Smith's stats for the 2011 postseason were:

36/68 (53%); 495 yards; 5 TD / 0 INT; 2 game winning / game tying drives, in two games.

Uuh ... yes, please?

2012: 10 starts.  153/218 (70.2%); 1,737 yards; 13 TD / 5 INT; 22 plays 20+ yards; 4 plays 40+ yards; 104.1 rating.

* My God -- 70% of his passes were completed!  (The Chiefs QBs were 273/475, for 2,713 yards in 2012.  In the words of Jim Mora Sr., "the fans were vomiting in the stands!" watching these guys play.  I swear -- I scoured Youtube! for the clip, because it's my favorite Mora meltdown ever ... but it ain't out there as a stand alone clip.  Someone get on that, stat.) 

* His average completion gained a first down (11.4 yards / catch).  

* And remember -- he wasn't benched for ineffective play.  He suffered a concussion against the Rams, and when Colin Kaepernick led them to a huge win in New Orleans to close out November, Jim Harbaugh made the decision to stick with him.

* Finally, here's one more fun stat for y'all to chew on:

Lost fumbles:

2009: 0

2010: 0

2011: 1

2012: 2 (including the play he was concussed on).

* Dude doesn't throw interceptions, has outstanding ball control, completes 60% of his passes at his worst, averages a first down on every completion ... why in the hell are Chiefs fans upset about this trade?

Yes, number 34 overall is a heavy price to pay (plus a conditional second or third rounder next year, contingent on the Chiefs on-field success) ... but is there ANYONE in the draft, or available in free agency, that you trust next year to match what Alex Smith has proven he can do over the last four years?

* And unless he really rises rapidly, my favorite QB in this year's rookie class, Syracuse's Ryan Nassib, will still be there when round three begins around 10pm on Day 2.  And if he's not?  I stated back in December that the player I wanted the Chiefs to draft was Aaron Murray of Georgia, and he returned for his senior year, to try to get the Bulldogs that one final win they didn't get last year.  (Ask Landry Jones and Matt Barkley how well that works out, dude.)  

* This ISN'T a repeat of the Cassel debacle.  (Ironically, the Chiefs traded the 34th pick in the 2009 draft, for Cassel (and Mike Vrabel).)  Cassel was a one year mirage, and he didn't even make the damned playoffs once before he came here (one of only three years under Belichick the Pats have failed to do so).

I mean, (Keyshawn Johnson voice) come on man!  Yesterday, we traded a pick we likely would have used on an unproven young quarterback ... to acquire a proven young quarterback.  (Smith is only 28 years old guys.  To put this in perspective, Trent Green was 31 when he made his first start for the Chiefs, was coming off major knee reconstruction ... and he didn't miss a start until he was knocked unconscious 82 games later, to open the 2006 season.)

* Furthermore, if ANYONE is equipped to run the type of offense that is taking over the NFL -- the Pistol / modernized West Coast offense that Reid and offensive coordinator Doug Peterson will employ -- why wouldn't it be Smith?  Anyone remember where he went to college?  Anyone remember who his coach was?  Anyone remember what style of offense he runs to this day?

(The answers: Utah, Urban Meyer, and the modernized West Coast offense that he ripped off from Chris Ault.  Also, a fun little trivia question for you, even though it technically no longer applies: Utah is the only non-AQ school to win a men's basketball national championship (1944), and a BCS bowl (2004, Smith's final season).  You're welcome for that golden nugget of knowledge.)

Jim Harbaugh has a perfect guy in Colin Kaepernick to run this type of offense ... but he also had a perfect guy in Alex Smith to do it to, and I'd say two division titles in two years is proof of that.  (To say nothing of the statistics.  Stats don't lie folks.  Ask Nate Silver.  Unfortunately.)

* Having laid out the logical reasons for wanting Alex Smith under center (best QB available; better than any college prospect this year; proven winner; proven competent option, familiarity with the offense) ... can we deal with the true reason why every Chiefs fan should be nutting* themselves right now in anticipation of what we just got?

(*: it'll be a cold day in hell before I pass up the opportunity to get in a gratuitous and unnecessary sexual innuendo.  You're welcome?)

* Fellow Chiefs fans?  Random stoned dude who accidentally clicked on this?

Who traded FOR Alex Smith?  Was it a couple of dunces like Pioli and Crennel?  Was it a washed up GM in Carl Peterson, who somehow held onto his job for 20 years despite never having a QB he drafted win a game?  Who exactly traded FOR Alex Smith?

(That would be "Fat" Andy Reid, and John Dorsey.)

I ask you, fellow Chiefs fans and Bob Marley wanna-bes, do you trust a coach and GM who has coached and developed, or acquired ... (get ready) Steve Young, Brett Favre, Mark Brunell, Matt Hasselbach, Donovan McNabb, Jeff Garcia (far better than you think at first glance) and Aaron Rodgers?

Do you trust in a tandem that fleeced the Redskins for multiple draft picks for a washed up McNabb, stole Rodgers-Cromartie and a second rounder from Arizona for the useless Kevin Kolb*, turned Brett Favre (through a flurry of draft day deals) into Clay Matthews, stole a second rounder from Miami for AJ Feeley ...

AND had the common sense to draft Aaron Rodgers when there was no obvious need at the position**, as well as grab Mark Brunell and Matt Hasselbeck with Day Three selections?

Cause I sure as all hell do!

(*: sign number one Kevin Kolb is useless as a starter -- the Cardinals are the favorites to sign Matt Cassel, and have him replace Kolb.  My God, I feel sorry for Cardinals fans, all fourteen of them that exist.)

(**: passing on Aaron Rodgers at 15 will go down as the worst decision of Carl Peterson's professional career.  Derrick Johnson has been good.  Aaron Rodgers is great.  You never pass on an opportunity at greatness.  Especially at the QB position.  This, in my opinion, is what the Chiefs did yesterday -- take a chance on potential greatness, rather than take the easy way out.  I love this new administration already.)

* Seriously, name one -- just one! -- quarterback decision "Fat" Andy Reid or John Dorsey have EVER made, that was wrong.  Just one.  It's ok -- I've got all day.  And all night.  And all of eternity -- because there isn't one!  These guys have NEVER screwed the pooch at the QB position.  Never!

* And look at the trades they made.  You all reading this do realize that for teams to give up high draft picks and Pro Bowlers to get these quarterbacks, that clearly they played well enough under "Fat" Andy Reid to justify the deal, right?  My God, Reid turned Kevin Kolb into a Pro Bowler!  What do you think he is capable of with Alex Smith?  Get excited folks.  Get excited!  Hell, I'm feeling generous -- Go crazy folks!  Go crazy!

At some point, you have to state the obvious ... and isn't the obvious that these guys know the quarterback position as well as, if not better, than ANYONE else in the league over the last fifteen to twenty years?

* And I haven't even gotten into the one thing EVERY Chiefs fan should love this guy for -- 49ers 23, donkeys 20 (OT), week 17, 2006.  Anyone remember who started for the 49ers that day, at fake mile high, in a game that meant everything to the My Little Ponies (win and you're in), and nothing for the 49ers (eliminated from postseason considerations)?  Anyone remember who led the 49ers on a late game-tying touchdown drive, and then marched the 49ers 60 yards in overtime, to set up Joe Nedney's heroic kick that Curt Menafee somehow thought was no good, when even Stevie Wonder could tell it was?  (Note: that's the ending of the game link above.  It's hysterical how off Menafee was.  When we get to the next bullet point, and I link to the recap of the Chiefs game that day, click on it and read why this gaffe still infuriates me ... and note: the reason won't surprise you one bit if you know me at all, or have ever sat by me at a Chiefs game.)

The guy who won that game?  Alex Smith.

True story.  And it NEVER gets old.

* Joe Montana.  Steve Bono.  Rich "Dick" Gannon.  Elvis Grbac.  Warren Moon.  Trent Green.  Damon Huard.  Brodie Croyle.  Matt Cassel.  Tyler Palko.  Kyle Orton.  Brady Quinn.

Those are the twelve -- count 'em, TWELVE -- quarterbacks that have started a game for the Chiefs, since January 16, 1994, which quite frankly is the ONLY date that should matter at One Arrowhead Drive.  Every decision made should be made, with moving that "last playoff win" date into the second decade of the 21st century.  It was on that January nineteen plus years ago, that the Chiefs last won a playoff game.  They're 0-7* since then, a horrific 0-4* at Arrowhead. 

(* if you count "win and you're in, lose and you're out" week 17 contests, that number "improves" to 1-9, 1-5 at Arrowhead.  The nine losses?  At Buffalo (93 AFC Title Game); at Miami (94 Wildcard); vs Indy (95 Divisional); at Buffalo (96 finale); vs the broncos (97 Divisional); vs raiders (99 finale); vs Colts (03 Divisional); at Colts (06 Wildcard); vs Ravens (10 Wildcard).  Yikes. 

Oh, and the 1?  Is the Immaculate Quadfecta from 2006, when the Chiefs needed to beat the Jaguars, the Steelers had to beat the Bengals in Cincy, the Patriots had to beat the Titans in Nashville, and of course, the 49ers had to beat the broncos in denver.  Yet another reason to love this trade -- the only dude available that turned that "0" into a "1", is who we acquired!  It's like "Fat" Andy and Dorsey can read my mind -- never pass up an opportunity to rub it in the donkey's noses!)

* Yesterday, the Chiefs took a gigantic step forward, to erasing the stigma of January 16, 1994.  A gigantic step.  A step that I believe, will achieve the ultimate goal -- of bringing a championship to our fine city.

Yesterday, was a good day.  Yesterday, Chiefs fans, our perserverance, our efforts, paid off.  In the words of the late, great 2Pac: "we made a G today."  And it wasn't in a sleazy way.

* So, in closing ...

(Pause).

(Pause).

(Pause).

(Do I have to do like Channel 9, and stress that this closing is an editorial?  I don't?  Sweet!  Then let's begin!)

I've stated many times, that I am the worst fan of this team imaginable.  There isn't a chance in hell I'll ever not show up and support them.  I see no way, short of being six feet under, that I won't be at Arrowhead on GameDay when the gates open*.  Fans like me, the Chiefs don't have to market to, don't have to do anything for, because we'll show up no matter what. 

(*: as always, this pledge does NOT apply to preseason.  If it ain't perfect tailgate weather -- aka "there isn't a cloud in the sky, and it's hot enough that taking the shirt off seems like a sensible thing to do, while tossing the washers and chugging a couple beers" -- I ain't going.)

For the last four years, the Chiefs have taken me, and the 45,000 hard core die-hards for granted.  They've abused the public trust we have in them.  They've whizzed on our loyalty, destroyed every tradition that makes Arrowhead, uuh, Arrowhead.  They removed the TD Pack band, replacing it with the crappiest drum line I've ever heard.  Ostensibly that decision was made to use the area that Tony DiParto, Patti DiParto-Livergood, and their band had used for nearly forty years, into seats for sale.  Disgusting.  But not half as disgusting as having to look at the large hole in the east end zone that now sits vacant 24/7/365.

They took away the Ring of Honor.  The fan revolt was so swift and fierce against this, that this was rectified last year.  Hell, they even tried to charge the servicemen in 2010 who were a part of the halftime show to honor Veterans Day, the price of admission.  Are you kidding me?  (To say nothing of my favorite gaffe the Chiefs have ever committed -- at that show, claiming that "veterans from all of America's wars since World War I are with us today, and then they started listing them off ... and they skipped Korea and Desert Storm.  Stay classy guys.  Stay classy.)

This is what our team had become -- arrogant, cocky, pompous horses asses who sole concern was milking this franchise (and by extension, us) for every cent it could get its hands on.  Hire incompetent cronies as the head coach in a blatant cash grab?  Sure!  Raise ticket prices 10% across the board in the midst of the worst recession in 80 years?  Why not!  Charge $12 for a watered down beer, $8 for a hot dog, and $31 for a cap in the Team Store?  (Sarah Palin voice) You betcha!  Spend money on actual on-field talent?  Dream on -- it doesn't profit any of us!

The last four years -- and if we're being honest here, it's more like 10 -- we the fans didn't matter.  Tradition didn't matter.  Hell, winning didn't even  matter.  All that mattered was profit.  The only motivating factor at One Arrowhead Drive was greed, and the front office and coaching staff's arrogance ensured that guiding principle was pounded into every Chiefs fan on a non-stop basis.  It was ugly, it was beyond wrong, and when we reached our breaking point* earlier this season, our reaction was swift, and appropriate, and if we're being honest here, f*cking** awesome.

(*: which was Matt Cassel's concussion against the Ravens.  Everything changed in that moment.  Everything.  And I continue to offer zero apologies for booing Cassel as he was helped off the field.  It's the ultimate damnation -- the perfect symbol -- of everything this franchise had become: we cheered when our guys got their brains bashed in.)

(**: first, and only, f bomb in the post.  I'm getting better.  Baby steps, mom.  Baby steps.)

We flew banners over the stadium on GameDay, demanding the removal of the architects of this ugliness.  Not just a symbolic firing -- we want everyone out, anyone who had even 2/1000ths of 1/100th of 1 percent of an impact on the decisions that had been made, we wanted fired and/or released from their duties with the team. 

We weren't bankrolled by the Star or by a television station or a radio promotions department.  It was one guy, then two guys, then a gal, then tens, then hundreds, then thousands, who gave what they could spare via PayPal or other means, even if all they could offer was to hold up a sign protesting the current state of the team. 

We did this not because we thought we would make a difference, not even because it was the right thing to do, but because the team we loved had turned into something we couldn't love anymore, and we loved them too much to walk away.  So we made the decision that had to be made -- if the Chiefs weren't going to change back into something worth loving voluntarily?

We were gonna do it for them.

We were so disgusted, so repulsed, by what the Chiefs organization had become, that we wore black, and turned games into funeral-like wakes.  Sunday was no longer a celebration of the team we love; it was now a miserable experience, like being a kid drug to Mass every Sunday-- we didn't want to be there, but we didn't have a choice.  So starting with that raiders game, the first of three straight national TV appearances, but the only one at home, we showed up in black.  Chiefs fans, in black, at a raiders game -- that's how far we were willing to go, to get the team we love, not the team you were, back into our lives. 

And you, Chiefs organization, didn't care.  You had us by the balls, and you knew it.  All your refusal to do right by us did, was infuriate us even more.

We ramped up the pressure.  We picketed.  We took to the airwaves.  We wore bags over our heads.  (OK, I didn't; I'd never deny the world the opportunity to see as much of the sexiest guy alive as they can.  (Pause.)  Oh come on!  (John McEnroe voice) You cannot be serious!  YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!  (Pause.)  That was not a jok -- (Pause.)  (Disgusted sigh.)  Fine.  Do it.)

(rimshot!)

And through our anger, our hatred, our outright disgust at what the team we love had become ... we united.  We were willing to do damned near anything to spread the word, not just to One Arrowhead Drive, but across the nation, that we've had enough.  We want our team back.  And we weren't taking no for an answer.

For two months, we stood our ground.  We made our voices known, thanks to the good folks at Save Our Chiefs, thanks to the writing of Jason Whitlock, thanks to the writing of Sam Mellinger, thanks to the reporting and on-air support from 810 and 610, and the online support from sites like Arrowhead Pride and Arrowhead Addict.  The on-air reporting by Marv Albert and Steve Tasker during the raiders game, when our message finally started being heard for what it was -- not what Eric Winston claimed it to be.  This wasn't an act against a player who was hurt; this was an act for our team. 

We wanted our team back.  And we weren't taking no for an answer.

And then came the culmination of the ugliness, the tragedy of December 1, 2012, in which one of the "Right 53" shot his girlfriend nine -- NINE -- times, as his daughter and mother were in the house.  And as if that wasn't heinous enough, this person -- again, deemed to be one of the "Right 53" -- then took the coward's way out, and rather than atone for his sins, he pulled the plug on his life.

And in that moment of tragedy, we the fans had your back.  We showed up the next day not in black, but in Red and Gold.  Not because we were proud of this team again.  But because the love of our (sporting) life, finally figured out that it needs us, as badly as we need it. 

Fellow Chiefs fans?  This is what we accomplished, with nothing but passion, hard work, and refusal to take no as an answer to getting what we wanted:

* We the fans of the greatest franchise in professional sports, demanded Clark Hunt fire Romeo Crennel.  He did.

* We the fans of the greatest franchise in professional sports, demanded Clark Hunt fire the coaching staff.  With two exceptions (both of whom I would have kept, in the interest of full disclosure), he did.

* We the fans of the greatest franchise in professional sports, demanded Clark Hunt fire Scott Pioli.  He did, and threw in some public humiliation of Mr. Pioli to boot.  I love it when arrogant pricks get their just desserts.  I just love it!  It makes me want to clap in joy and happiness like a train baby seal.

* We the fans of the greatest franchise in professional sports, demanded Clark Hunt hire a proven, competent head coach.  And not just a proven, competent head coach -- someone who GETS IT, someone who GETS the passion we have for this team.  He did.  Because "Fat" Andy Reid is not just proven, and not just competent, he's just spent fourteen years coaching in one of the few cities that have a passion for their NFL team like we do in Kansas City.  He gets it.

* We the fans of the greatest franchise in professional sports, demanded Clark Hunt hire a proven, competent general manager.  And not just a proven, competent general manager -- someone who GETS IT, someone who GETS the passion we have for this team.  He did.  Because John Dorsey is not just proven, and not just competent, he's spent a decade running the only team in sports owned by its fans.  Get it?  The Packers INVENTED "get it"!

* We the fans of the greatest franchise in professional sports, demanded Clark Hunt hold the line on season ticket prices, even though doing everything detailed above cost him millions -- millions! -- of dollars.  He did, and the deep discount given to season ticket holders, is beyond generous.  My seat in 336, bought as a single when they go on sale to the public, will go for about $60.  (They were $59/game last year, I believe.)  I pay $39/game ($78 total) for my two seats.  (John Davidson voice) That's incredible!

* And we the fans of the greatest franchise in professional sports, demanded Clark Hunt pay and do whatever it takes to acquire the best quarterback available, whether through free agency, trade, or the draft.

Yesterday?

He did.

All that?  Is what WE accomplished.

Chiefs fans?  We got our team back.  We got OUR team back! 

We won!

We've endured a horrific six months with this team.  But the sun's coming up, guys.  It's morning in Arrowhead Nation again!

And the last six weeks have occurred, because of two things.  First, because we loved this team too much, to give up on it.  We got your back guys.  Now, and always.  That was a key.  But not THE key.

Because THE key, was that the Chiefs organization figured out that it needs us.  They tried, but they just couldn't quit us.

So, on behalf of myself -- thank you Mr. Hunt.  Thank you, sir.  I know there's no way you will ever read this, but this needs to be said.  Thank you.

Thank you for restoring my faith in our franchise, for giving me a reason to believe in it again.  For making me care again.  And not just making me care again -- thank you for caring enough about us, to make the changes that had to be made.  For reminding us why this is the greatest franchise in the NFL, and there ain't any other one within a wide country mile of it. 

You made us love this team again.  Let's be honest -- we HATED what our team had become.  HATED!  We were disgusted, infuriated, embarrassed, insert adjective here, at both the play on the field, and the men leading and representing the organization off of it.  In one swift six week offseason, with nearly sixteen more weeks still to go, you've proven you were as disgusted, infuriated, embarrassed, insert adjective here, at both the play on the field, and the men leading and representing your organization off of it, as we were.

Your father would be proud.

Most of all -- thank you sir, for making me proud to wear the Red and Gold again.

Your "worst" fan, now and always --

Stevo

sotu 2013: what mr. obama should say ...

“I’m sorry about the attitude,

I need to give when I’m with you.

But noone else will take this sh*t from me.

And I’m so  …

Terrified of noone else but me –

I’m here all the time. 

I won’t go away.

It’s me, yeah, and I can’t get myself to go away.

Hey!  It’s me!  And I can’t get myself to go away!

Oh God, I shouldn’t feel this way now!

Reach down your hand in your pocket,

And pull out some hope for me –

It’s been a long day, always, ain’t that right!

No Lord – your hand won’t stop it,

Just keep you trembling.

It’s been a long day, always, ain’t that right …”

-- “Long Day” by matchbox 20.  Good grief, this cd is seventeen years old?  This thing literally was released half a lifetime ago?!?!  Holy Mary, mother of …

------------------------------------

Let me apologize up front for the fact that it’s the (checking the calendar) seventh of February, and this is my first post of the month.  That’s ridiculous.  In my defense, real life is absolutely killing me right now ... and I haven't had much motivation to write.  

I mean, do YOU want to write a recap of the Chiefs season that was?  Do YOU want to grade the Wrong 53, relive even a single moment of the first weekend in December, think about Romeo and Pioli and the awfulness of the 2012 season?  

If you were pissed as hell at your best friend for seven months running, both sides dug in, but at least trying to make it work* -- would you want to write about friends, and life, and stuff like that?  If you had co-workers and managers you value as friends above all else drop the "I have cancer" bomb on you, do you want to write about that?  

Cause I sure as all hell don't.

(*: Wednesday was a gigantic first second step to recovery, Champ.  (Inadvertently forgot your night at Lew's that saved what remnant of us, we still have.)  Still -- in the words of Mike Francesca, it was "hu-yuge".  But it was only a first second step.  Don't read into it something that just isn't there anymore ... or I should say, just isn't there -- yet.  At least on my side of the trenches.)

But ... you didn’t come here to listen to me bitch, moan, and complain.

Instead … 

I’m going to praise the President (somewhat -- even I have my limits of gratitude and appreciation).  And lay out what I want to see in the State of the Union on Tuesday, a speech he earned the right to give, due to (pick one / pick all of the above) the utter incompetence of the Romney / Ryan campaign, the idiotic mistake of picking Ryan over Rubio, and … well, we’ll get to point three eventually.  And God help me, I never imagined I’d feel this way.

(Hint: I no longer view people who are sick of the rich hoarding what they have, as the problem.)

Here goes.

First, Mr. Obama should be commended for putting together the gun task force under Vice President Biden, and the Vice President and his commission should be applauded – and I mean a lengthy, long-running ovation – when the subject comes up Tuesday night.  Every proposal in the plan – EVERY proposal – is a long overdue, necessary step towards curbing the violence that plagues our society, has led to the crumbling of the urban core, and is literally killing our future at a rate nearly outpacing the extremely horrific cost Roe v Wade* has taken on this country. 

(*: gee, you don’t think the fact that we live in a society in which killing your child is “cool”, and not just “cool”, but praised and honored as a “right”, would have ANYTHING AT ALL to do with our society’s disregard for the bodies piling up in the morgue every week, do ya?  I can't possibly dream that when you view killing your child as a "right" and a "privilege", that you'd view killing someone else as just another "right" and "privilege".  Far left liberalism / socialism / "who needs values!" folks: destroying this nation day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second, since LBJ signed The Great Society into law in 1965 ...)

The President should stress to the Congress that if they don’t pass sweeping gun control legislation, he’ll enact it by executive order.  Dare the Congress to fail to act in the public’s self interests, and then call their bluff.  By the time the lawsuits hit the Supreme Court, Mr. Obama’s term will be up, and if (as I suspect), the mood and nature and public opinion of this country has truly swung as hard left as I believe it has, then a more compliant (re: Democrat controlled) Congress will simply pass into law his executive order come January 3, 2015.

But – the President should stress this is only a first step.  The next step he should propose, is mandatory life in prison without possibility of parole sentences for anyone convicted of a capital offense*.  Doesn’t matter – first, second, third degree, manslaughter in any degree – if you kill someone in a hostile, offensive action (aka “not in self defense”), you should be locked away for life, if a jury of your peers finds you guilty, or if you accept a plea. 

(*: I oppose the death penalty in all circumstances, for the same reason I oppose abortion in all cases: mankind should not be allowed to decide who lives, and who dies.  That's God's job.  And yes, that is just about the only thing the Church proudly stands for, that I back blindly out of faith in its correctness. Sorry Mr. Pope -- you'll never convince me wearing a condom, is infanticide.)

Mr. Obama, and society, HAVE to create an incentive to stop the violence.  Perhaps if people have it hammered home on a nightly basis via the news that “if you kill someone, you will never enjoy freedom again”, that might work.  It’s certainly an idea worth exploring.  Because everyone with an IQ above room temperature knows our current sentencing guidelines aren't getting the job done.

Secondly, look straight into the eyes of every Supreme Court justice sitting in the front row (and odds are, at least six or seven of them will be there), and use the bully pulpit, use the power of the Presidency, to let these justices know that Hollingsworth v Perry is THE defining legal case of our generation, and that you fervently hope and pray that they will uphold the Ninth Circuit Court’s ruling (a rare correct one by that three ring circus), that California’s ban on gay marriage is unconstitional.  And if pressed why, note that it is due to the founding sentence of this nation’s initial document. 

You know – “we hold these truths to be self evident: that all men are created equal, and that all are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, among them life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”.  This is an idea so unassailable, that the two opponents in the 2000 Bush v Gore recount, Theodore Olson and David Boies, are arguing the case together come late March, to urge the Court to arrive at the same logical conclusion the Ninth Circuit reached.

Let that sink in -- lawyers who hated each other so much, that they nearly tore this country to pieces contesting a legitimate* election ... have united to oppose bigotry, bias, and absolutely unconscionable oppression in our time.  We truly do live in the greatest country mankind has ever birthed.

(*: for the record, I believe Gore won Florida, as a recount of the entire state by various media outlets showed.  But in hindsight ... wow, did we dodge the crazy train bullet, or what!  Kinda like Kerry in 2004 -- I think Kerry would have made an outstanding President, and I am thrilled he now our ambassador to the world ... but John Edwards a heartbeat away from the Presidency?  Rethink your hatred of Mr. Bush, America.  He truly was the lesser of a boatload of evils ...)

And if that doesn’t sway the justices or the viewing public, simply remind everyone watching and listening that your parents, Mr. President, were barred by law from marrying, when you were born.  Because of the color of your father’s skin, versus the color of your mother’s.  That law was heinous, and wrong.  As is opposition to marriage equality.  Hammer that point home.  Let it be your legacy, much as your hero, Mr. Lincoln, made abolition his.

Third, and I know there’s no chance Mr. Obama will do this, but he should – issue an unequivocable statement of support for Israel, and announce to the world that if Iran does not immediately cease and desist with its nuclear program, the United States will not only not prevent Israel from destroying it militarily, we will respond with (Jack Ryan voice) "the full faith and credit of the United States", if Israel is attacked in response.  

Say what you want about Mr. Bush’s “Axis of Evil” speech post-9/11, but within six months, Qadaffi had abandoned Libya’s program of weapons of mass destruction (a decision that ultimately got that murderous thug what he deserved, since he had nothing to fight back against the insurgents with).  It’s also a policy that has at least indirectly led to the Arab Spring, to the overthrow of dictatorships in Egypt, Tunisia, and the collapsing regime in Syria.  And while I’m on it –

Stress to the freedom fighters in the Arab world that the United States stands with them … provided they support freedom for ALL in the region.  Announce that we will equip, train, finance these forces of potential good against the tyrannical regimes that oppress them … provided they guarantee the safety of Israel.  Again, Mr. Obama will never do this – he’s too calculated, and too cautious, to risk the Muslim Brotherhood and other rebel forces from agreeing to his offer.  But it should be made.  You want the world to respect your cause?  Then respect your fellow neighbors.

And Mr. Obama should announce than when he visits Israel later this spring, he will announce his support for a separate Palestinian state, provided the Palestinian leadership agrees to the same demands placed on the Muslim Brotherhood.  

You can have your freedom, and we're ready and willing to help you secure it ... but only if you guarantee Israel the same.  

With this one sweeping move, he could at least soften the hard core resistance of the Christian right against him (who stupidly think he’s anti-Israel / pro-Muslim – he’s not.  He’s pro-common sense, anti-the idiotic policies that have been failing for 75 years and counting).  Again, he won’t do it, but it’s not a bad idea to consider.

Fourth, and this one could be tricky, and he’s got three years to figure it out … but it’s time to decide who you want your successor to be, Mr. President.  Do you want Mr. Biden, or Mrs. Clinton, to be the front-runner and almost certain nominee, in 2016?  Who do you want to carry on your legacy sir?  You start laying the ground work now.  I know who I prefer – after all, I am (still) a Clinton Democrat.  

I think Joe Biden as the leader of the free world is a great idea for a sh*tty ABC sitcom in their Wednesday night comedy block.  

I think Joe Biden with the nuclear codes?  Is the most frightening thought imaginable to anyone who calls themselves human.

Fifth.  And man, I hate to even type this … but Mr. President?  Your FINEST hour, was in the aftermath of the tragedy at Sandy Hook.  Hell, you even won me over with your speeches, and I’m not exactly what the kids these days would call a “frenemy” of yours. (Drop the "fr", and that usually nails my feelings about the President.)

Use the pulpit, sir – use the national stage – to press for sweeping changes in school security.  Your Democratic predecessor, you know – the guy who literally saved your job with the greatest political speech I’ve ever heard*, at the DNC back in September – was openly mocked for stating in his 1997 State of the Union speech that he wanted to “build a bridge to the 21^st Century” by equipping every classroom with state of the art technology, and some pie in the sky idea of “internet access” for all children.  Gee, you think Mr. Clinton was onto something?

(*: I honestly never believed anything would top Mr. Gore at the 2000 DNC.  Mr. Bush's post-9/11 speech to Congress came close.  Mr. Clinton's fifty minute endorsement of Mr. Obama, actually made me contemplate voting for Mr. Obama for a few minutes ... until I realized he's the primary cause of all our economic misery, has literally ensured an economic collapse for our children ... barring austerity measures that mean economic collapse for us in the here and now, and oh yeah, he thinks he's allowed to kill anyone he wants to without a trial, via drones.  And by the way, is Club Gitmo closed yet?  It's not?  Huh.  *COUGH hypocrite COUGH*)

Mr. President?  Challenge the Congress to pass funding for one police officer, in every community, to be assigned to each school.  Challenge the American public to agree to a slight increase in a tax they don’t think anything about – say, a $.05 / gallon hike on gas – to finance this.  Point out that the federal gas tax hasn’t been hiked in 20 years, since the initial Clinton budget of 1993.  And really, when you’re paying $3.50 / gallon, what’s another $.05 at that point?  It’s like the guy who decides to remodel his home for $35,000, who is now out $60,000, debating whether to spend one last $1,500 to finish the job.  Really?  You have to have that conversation?  You spend the money.  You’ve invested too much not to.  Make the argument.

Your opponents will argue this is costly, and won’t truly solve the problem of violence.  And to be fair? They’d be right.  But sometimes, style wins over substance.  Sometimes, trying to fix a problem with a futile solution, is better than doing nothing at all.

Which is why you fight back by quoting Amon Goeth in “Schindler’s List”: “what is one life, worth to you?”  Bammo.  You disable their (legitimate) argument, and gain a winning position.

Sixth, and finally … and this one folks, I am not sold on … but I’m starting to see it.

It’s time to tax capital gains at the top marginal rate.

No matter where the funds are stored.

The time has come to find a way to eliminate any and all loopholes that allow the wealthiest amongst us, to shelter their money.  Repatriate all funds, period. 

Yes, the so-called “rich” have earned it.  Yes, it is theirs.  I am not disputing that.  I am not demanding the feds seize all their earnings, seize all their wealth, cash on hand, nor would I ever support or suggest that.  But the question needs to be asked: why aren’t you paying your fair share? 

These are the people shouting out “well, rely on faith based and private initiatives to help you out!” to the least fortunate among us … while they find a way to get every cent they own into secure, overseas bank accounts that don’t contribute to these faith based, private initiatives they tout****.  How, pray tell, the most well off among us, can these private, faith based charities survive without contributions from you to support them?

(****: four asteriks, because I am 100% f*cking percent right about this ... and this rant has been a long time coming.  

THIS?  I believe, is THE reason Mr. Obama won re-election: the majority of the country is f*cking angry as hell at the rich flaunting their wealth, while 95% of us can barely make ends meet.  

I swear to God, if I have to read one more well-to-do'er post a "bought a weekend home" on Facebook or Twitter or Reddit, or "hey check out my new ride!", or "my new lake house!", or my personal favorite, "I had some spare cash laying around -- check out what I bought!" item?

I'm going to be seriously tempted to throw my laptop through the screen door, then grab a pitchfork, a flammable object, and a noose, and march on your "weekday home", or your "summer cottage", or whatever other ultimately worthless possession you have decided to piss your money away on.  

Here's a thought!  Instead of buying a "weekend home" for yourself, instead of buying a new Corvette, a new lakefront property, a new f*cking grill for the back deck for all I care -- how about you instead, invest in humanity, and give that money to a battered women's shelter, or a food bank, or take in a foster child and put them on a path to greatness?  

If the most blessed among us don't provide?  Then we all have to, like it or not.  (After all -- most of you well-off folks demand we overturn Roe v Wade to "let the babies live" ... but of course, you don't give two sh*ts about what happens to that baby, after you force it to be born.  *COUGH hypocrisy COUGH*)  

"To whom much is given, much is required".  I believe Jesus Christ himself said that.  God forbid the most well-off religious (or non) folks among us, actually live the damned values they demand we follow ...)

The answer, of course, is that they can’t, which is why the government has had to step in over the last decade at an alarming and unsustainable pace.

Challenge the wealthy on the grounds of patriotism.  Challenge them based on their faith based values they claim to embrace.  Hell, haul out Mr. Christ’s parable of the talents – those who invested (aka "shared the wealth") and earned more as a natural conclusion to that action?  Were rewarded more.  

Those who buried the money in the ground, and hoarded it?  Were torn a new one.

I am not a socialist; I do not want to be confused as being one.  But it is ridiculous that we are raising the taxes on every small business owner in this country by literally thousands of dollars … and not touching the true wealth this nation holds at a comparable rate.  It is wrong.  And Mr. Obama needs to urge the Congress to act.

Announce to the nation that you, Mr. President, will be submitting a budget first thing Wednesday morning with these priorities in it.  The real fiscal crisis this nation faces, won’t hit for another six years or so, once Obamacare’s costs outweigh its revenues.  There’s still time to fix that.  And the fuse that Social Security is, still has 14 years to go before insolvency.  PLENTY of time to fix that, and quite easily.  (Raise the first-opt-in retirement age to 70 for anyone born after 1975.  Done and done.)

But the time is now, to act on gun control, finally guaranteeing equality to all our nation’s citizens, securing at least détente in the Middle East, an equitable and fair tax structure, security for our children’s school

It’s ok to be progressive, Mr. President.  Use the base you’ve secured, to enact a progressive agenda no sane person could completely oppose.  (Or, in my case, that not even the "not quite sane" could oppose.)

You have the opportunity, Mr. President, that only three Presidents in the last 200 years have had – to secure the country’s agenda for twenty years.  FDR succeeded.  I’d argue Reagan succeeded (Clinton, after all, was nothing more than a Reagan Democrat, same as me, same as my family).  

Lincoln failed.  Miserably.  And would have failed regardless of what happened at Ford Theater.

For once, Mr. President, don’t embrace your idol.  Succeed.  Contrary to what Rush Limbaugh wants, I want you to succeed.  Screw that -- we, as a people, NEED you to succeed.  

The greatest nation in the recorded history of mankind, depends on it.  Please, Mr. President -- prove you're up to the task you face ...