My picks are so awful, its time to pull the plug.
But ... Bills (pick) 16, at Chiefs 10.
Meanwhile, the "Voice of Reason" finally checked in this week for a lively back-and-forth debate about Sunday's debacle against the donkeys. Enjoy!
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* from Monday's Chiefs / donkeys recap:
Gregg, the ex-roommate, has yet to comment. I sent the "todd must go cut the cord" text that every other time gets a "you overreact / he's not that bad / give him time" response. No response this time. (Congratulations, Todd! You've managed to f*ck up so spectacularly that my voice of reason cannot disagree with what I am saying about you! You definitely get a Tommy Point for that one.)
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gg: Here's my reaction. Do I agree with that play call? No. But to say it's the worst play call in franchise is an overreaction. The play was about 2 inches away from working. The receiver was wide, WIDE open with plenty of running room. Had Croyle put a little more air under the ball, it would have been a huge play. The Chiefs did a pretty good job of faking that the play was going to the right, when it really was designed to go to the left. According to Brent, they Chiefs line also did a pretty good job of "hiding" Croyle and that Denver probably didn't know he was in the game or at least lined up as the punter. Keep in mind that Colquitt was in the game, but shifted to a wide out. Having the snapper be eligible was pretty genius actually which helped with the fake. My biggest problem was not the play call itself, but doing it while it was still an 8 point game. I would have been better with that call had it been a 2 possession game and we "needed" to make something happen.
I was far more upset about having first and goal at the 1 and not running it up the middle 4 straight times. Also, the second time we had first and goal (at the 5, I believe) we again lost 3 yards on first down. If we could just find a way to eliminate negative yardage plays in these situations, we'd be a lot better off.
I maintain that had Bobby Wade not dropped that TD pass on our first possession, it would have been a totally different game. Bobby Wade pi$$ed me off far more in this game than Todd Haley did. Haley was just trying to make something happen. Wade was causing stuff not to happen.
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sk: I could not agree with you more on the 1st and goal at the 1. Other than the short yardage stuff, I'm ok with Haley's play calling for the most part. The short yardage stuff is driving me insane, but the INTs in the third quarter, those weren't bad play calls. It was a combo of good defense (the 2nd INT) and a horrible throw (the 1st INT) after one of the worst throws I've ever seen in my life (the 15 yard overshoot of Chambers when he was wide open in the zone coverage. Seriously, even I could have thrown a better ball in that spot, and I've been accused of throwing like a girl from time to time). Cassel had nothing on Sunday. You can't blame Haley for that. He doesn't make the throws, and you can't exactly run the ball every down when you're down 20 and your RB can't hold onto the football.
I completely agree on Wade's drop. He effing QUIT on that play. He completely "Tito Beltran'd" it. I know I've torn into Haley for his "lack of professionalism on the sideline", but good for Todd for trying to tear Bobby "Beltran" Wade a new one. That was one time when his "lack of self control" was completely justified. (If that had been me, I might have gone Buddy Ryan on him and decked him).
The thing with the fake punt that so angered me is that it ignored every element of common sense. You can argue its stupid for one of four reasons:
a. too deep in your own territory to try something like that (28 yard line). If you fail, you're conceding 3 at the very least.
b. too far to gain (7 yards). If you're going to "go for it", you're better off putting Cassel in the gun, going 4 wide with Charles as the safety valve, and run a couple 8 yard out patterns and a fly route with Chambers, and try to make something happen, than you are to catch the donkeys special teams napping.
c. too much time left in the game. 28 minutes is an eternity to play, especially since
d. it was only a one score game. Too close at that point to try something like that.
And after reading an article in the Star on the play, I'd throw in a 5th reason why it was stupid:
e. Haley didn't suggest it. ST coach Steve Hoffman did.
I was angry when I thought Haley ordered the play (based on his postgame comments, I was led to believe he did). After hearing it was Hoffman's idea, I was even angrier. This is why you're a head coach, Todd. To consider ALL the ramifications of your decisions, not just to consider the effect to the offense. Your job is to coach the game for all 60 minutes, not the 60 seconds in front of you at that moment in time.
Did Todd consider the deflation of the crowd if you don't get it? Every damned person in that stadium knew after the try failed that we'd lost. Everyone knew it. It completely took the crowd out of the game. It also put the defense in an awful spot, set up to fail. It also basically told the offense "I don't think you're good enough to move the ball without gimicks and trickery and special teams assisstance". (On this point, to be fair ... Haley has a valid argument).
I obviously believe Todd Haley should be fired. But -- but -- if Pioli sits him down, points out the obvious mistakes Todd's made, and gets him a competent quality control / assistant head coach to inject some common sense into him when he's faced with moments like the fake punt, I can probably hold my nose and live through year two. Even the best coaches need a voice of reason on the sideline or in the booth to talk them off the cliff from time to time. Haley needs one 24/7/365 apparently.
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gg: I guess my main reason for not being overly upset about the fake punt is
that is was close....VERY close to working. Literally 2 inches close to
working. Had that play hit, it would have completely changed the momentum
of the game the other way. It was a gamble that obviously didn't pay off,
but it was very close. I firmly believe that it did have denver fooled and
had Croyle put just a tad more air under the ball it would have hit big.
I also believe the Chiefs lack of quality coaching has to do with getting a
late start on the coach hiring season last February. By the time they hired
Haley, all of the quality assistants had found new homes, so they were left
with Arizona scraps and people who couldn't find a job elsewhere in the
league. I think we have both a new OC and DC next year....and with any
luck, their names will be Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis.
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sk: I'll agree that we were "late to the party" on coaches. It definitely screwed us this season. I think firing Gailey when we did was a mistake, but a justifiable one. If the HC and OC don't see eye to eye, its best to pull the plug and move on ASAFP. Having said that, after seeing Gailey make the proverbial chicken salad out of chicken sh*t last year, I think Gailey would have been worth two more wins at this point -- I believe we beat oakland here, and we beat Dallas here, with Gailey calling things. On the other hand, I think Haley's playcalling stole us at least one game we wouldn't have won (Pittsburgh) with Gailey at the helm, and it kept us in another one (Baltimore) that Gailey would have lost 37-14. So its basically a wash, not much difference between 3-9 and 4-8, except three spots in the draft.
On defense, I'm ok with the overall scheme, and clearly Pendergast has at least brought back somewhat of an attack mentality to the front seven (especially with Hali), but there's still too many lapses of fundamentals. Quite honestly, I agree with your pegging Crennel, and my question at this point is, why are we not bringing him in in the Sherm Lewis "consultant" role at this point for the final four games? He's not doing anything other than collecting his severance. I know he had knee surgery and that's why he didn't want to do the job in March, but why not now? You mean you can't stick him up in the box and let him oversee things and add some insight?
(I'd say the same thing regarding Weis ... only I don't think Weis is coming here. Gut feeling. But if Weis is who you want, again, why not "invite him in for a look"? That's what Lamar did with some former GM known as Carl Peterson 22 years ago, that seemed to go well ...)
Special teams, there's not much you can b*tch about. Steve Hoffman is definitely the MVP of this coaching staff. Coverage has gone from atrocious to respectable, especially on kickoffs. Charles has done a good job returning kicks. Succup is automatic. Dusty C is probably the third best punter in the division ... and the conference. No shame in being behind lechler and Scifres. No need to change anything there.
This team is better in many ways than it was last year at this time. The defense as a whole is better, but certain positions (S, ILB) are worse. The offense is stagnant -- its better at QB, its far worse at RB (can't hope for a LJ recovery anymore and Charles is NOT the answer), and about the same on OL. The special teams are vastly improved. Its a rebuild. I get that. The key now is to draft well, get some quality assistants to coach these guys up, and let an easier schedule (trading the NFC East for NFC West, drawing two last place teams in the non-set opponents) hopefully guide you to the fringes of wildcard contention (aka 5-7, 6-6 entering December).
The frustrating thing is, that's where we'd be had we held on against oakland and Dallas, 5-7, 2 games out, with at least a faint flicker of hope considering we'd be facing two winnable home games up next.
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gg: Well, it sounds like you are coming down from the ledge....at least a little
bit. As the great Wayne Allyn Root used to say, you are never as bad as you
think you are and never as good as you think you are. Overall, things are
better than they were 12 months ago. Pioli has now had 75% of a season to
view all of the players and coaches. It's time to continue to make changes
in the off season and get this team where it needs to be by 2011.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
chiefs! broncos! where the worst playcall in franchise history happens ...
After last year's Chiefs / donkeys showdown at Arrowhead, I wrote that "I don't even know where to begin, and for once, this is a good thing".
After yesterday's Chiefs / donkeys showdown at Arrowhead, I know exactly where to begin. And this is definitely not a good thing.
On the single most retarded play call I have ever witnessed.
To set the scene: its 4th and 7 at the Chiefs 28. Barely a minute has rolled off the clock to open the second half. The Chiefs trail 14-6. It is a one possession game, with 28 plus minutes to go. It is 4th and 7 at your own 28. Anyone with even an ounce of common sense punts the f*cking football. Anyone with an IQ of over 3 knows to punt the damned football.
Todd Haley, a man who will not be confused anytime soon with someone who possesses an "ounce of common sense" or "an IQ of over three", decides to fake the punt.
Only, he not just fakes the punt, because as stupid as that would have been, at least you might have caught the donkeys napping, something screwy might have happened, maybe someone decks Dusty C and you get a personal foul, at least a legitimate fake punt you can find some semblance of a justification for.
But to trot the backup QB out there and line him up as the punter? You have to be mentally retarded to not know what's coming next. The denver broncos are a lot of things, but they are not mentally retarded. They are a smart, disciplined, well coached football team.
The Chiefs, on the other hand, are none of those things.
As soon as they snapped it to Croyle, the ballgame was over. Not even remotely surprisingly, the donkeys maintained their lanes, batted the pass down (and there wasn't a Chiefs player with 20 feet of where the pass was headed anyways), and opened the floodgates. Three turnovers and 20 points later, I left at 34-6, with still 2 plus minutes left in the quarter.
I stood incredulous as the fake punt unfolded. I then stood in rage for 20 minutes afterwards, just glaring at the Chiefs sideline as the game fell apart, wishing to God there was some way to grab a sledgehammer and beat Todd Haley HHH style. Including chucking him through the Spanish announcing table.
For me, this experiment is over. I'm through with Todd Haley. He's dead to me. He flunked the only meaningful test of his rookie season -- he got embarrassed at home by my most hated franchise. And not just embarrassed -- he was exposed to the world yesterday for everything I believed him to be. A sh*tty ass head coach that's in over his head, hated by his players, inept at every single aspect of the game. After yesterday, there is no way, absolutely no way, anyone with a basic understanding of football can justify Todd Haley's continued employment beyond January 4, 2010. There is no way that can be done.
Its over. Pull the plug. ASAFP!!!
This was the equivalent of Marty Mornhinweg taking the wind instead of the ball to open overtime. This was the equivalent of the Vikings failing to turn in the draft card on time for two consecutive picks. This was the equivalent of the Miracle at the Meadowlands in terms of playcalling stupidity.
This was the single most retarded decision I have ever seen someone make.
Let's do this, I'll have more on the play below, because I'm not even close to being done raging about this. Especially given how Coach Asshat actually DEFENDED his decision in his postgame comments. I swear, when I heard his remarks, I wanted to cry. I've never been so angry to be a fan of a team as I am this morning. Past losses to denver I could cope with, because at least we had hope for the future. As long as Todd Haley is calling the shots, the Chiefs have NO shot of on-field success. None. This is as good as it gets for us with Coach Asshat at the helm. Getting tripled up at home. Allowing 40 plus to two divisional opponents in back-to-back weeks. (Side note: prior to yesterday, no Chiefs team in history had allowed 40 points in back-to-back games. Not even the "32 Defense" from 2002 accomplished that feat. Todd Haley's done more damage to this team in 12 weeks than even I imagined was possible. And I'm not exactly a Todd Haley fan).
* Should have known this would be a bad day based on how Nebraska / Texas ended the night before. For what its worth, the replay officials got it right, there should have been a second left on the clock. It still doesn't make it any easier to swallow though.
* I was wide awake at 3:30am. I was ready for this one. Too bad the Chiefs head coach wasn't.
* Arrived at the buses around 6am. You know I'm ready for a game when, despite the freezing cold, despite the threat of snow, and despite my stated hatred of said cold and snow, I arrived before half the other tailgaters were even awake.
* Solid crew yesterday. Two fairly packed buses. Menu was soups and chilis, with plenty of liquid and jello refreshment. I have to be honest -- at this point, the only reason I keep showing up is (a) the tickets are a sunken cost, and (b) the tailgating. There's no other reason to step foot on the grounds at One Arrowhead Drive. None. Unless you can facilitate my dream of going HHH on Coach Asshat through the Spanish announcing table. That's a valid reason too.
* The really nice new tailgating neighbors we met last home game, the ones who'd bought a short bus to turn into a tailgating dream, have made significant progress on said dream. The sides are all painted white, and they've got the Chiefs logos and emblems up. Its looking good, slowly yet surely.
* Funniest moment of tailgating: has to be when our neighbors across the way stumble in carrying a huge bottle of Cuervo and start offering shots to people. Turns out the guy's name is Castro. Poor guy. Most folks of Hispanic descent really wouldn't want to be stuck with the name "Castro", I would think. (The way he said it, I'm guessing he's not thrilled with his folks name choice at all).
* Worst moment of tailgating: as Monty's pulling the ambulance onto the grass, the beer tap split in two. Thankfully, enough was left on the tap to still enjoy the beer, but that definitely sucked.
* There were a ton of donkeys fans there yesterday. I had at least 15 of them in a 5 row vicinity around me. Including two right next to me in the seats that almost never get used. I guess I should be thankful to Coach Asshat for one thing -- his play call for the fake punt so enraged me, that I didn't even notice how obnoxious the donkeys fans got as that third quarter went along until I was leaving the stadium.
* The KC Wolf opening sketch was atrocious. I actually felt bad for the guy playing the sacrificial donkey. He had a look on his face for most of the pre-taped video that was a cross between "call my agent and CONFIRM I am getting paid to appear in this sh*tfest" and "please dear God, don't let anyone I know see me act in this sketch". In his defense, I would have been thinking the exact same two things.
* No flyover yesterday. Finally, someone looking out for the taxpayer's best interests.
(And please note: I am not anti-military, I'm not an isolationist, and I'm anything but an anti-war dove. But I am anti-flyover, because they are a complete waste of the taxpayer's money. We have far more pressing social concerns to be spending that money on than gassing up a few instruments of war to accommodate a worthless pregame show that nobody is going to remember 30 minutes after the fact anyways. I know I'm right about this.)
* The chick doing the national anthem was decent. Whitney something or other. If the singing career doesn't work out (and according to her Wikipedia page, its not), she should have her agent get Vivid Entertainment or Wicked Pictures on the line, she's attractive enough to be at least the third chick in a scene for one of those fine production companies.
* Chiefs won the toss, and chose to defer. It figures, the smartest decision anyone on our sideline made all day, and it was done on a coin toss. Oy.
* donkeys first drive was pretty impressive. Marched it a solid 65 yards in about 3 minutes. Then, kyle orton drops back to pass, and I still have no idea who or what he was looking at. It was into my end zone, and I didn't see anyone in white in the middle of the end zone where he was throwing. Demarrio Williams deflected the pass, and Mike Brown picked it off. Sadly, that was the highlight of the day, and there was still 55 plus minutes of craptacular football left to go.
* The Chiefs could do nothing after a turnover yesterday.
* Chiefs first drive after that interception, Cassel drops back on 3rd and about 5 and airs it out. It was a decently thrown ball that a wide open Bobby Wade should have caught, I thought. Only Wade didn't sell out to make the catch, he simply stuck his right arm out and hoped the ball would fall in. It went off his right hand. If he'd doved for the reception, odds are he gets it. He didn't even try. I'm telling you, this team has quit on Todd Haley. You could see it all day long yesterday, the subtle hints that the players just don't give a sh*t, they're so tired of being constantly berated by an idiot that they're just doing what they damned well want to. Even if that means half assing a pass right off the bat.
* After the play, Haley (for once, justifiably) lost his temper and ripped into Bobby Wade on the sidelines. Wade chose not to stand there and take it. He started screaming back. A player half assing it on the field is now screaming at a coach asking him why he's loafing like Carlos Beltran back in the day. Its imploding folks. Its all coming down in front of our eyes. And there's still a month left to go ...
* Seriously, do you think Carl ever watches a Chiefs game and just spends the entire three hours laughing his ass off? He took over a team in far worse shape than this one was, and between some shrewd Plan B signings, some tremendous drafting, and rock solid coaching, had the team a missed field goal at Cleveland away from the playoffs. In season one. I don't think Scott Pioli and Todd Haley could find a way to reach the playoffs if you gave them a Garmin and fronted them the tickets.
* The second denver possession, orton just tore the secondary to shreds. Four completions, plus a face mask penalty, and then orton found the endzone, I believe this was the graham TD. 7-0 donkeys.
* The Chiefs take the field, now trailing 7-0 and it probably should have been worse than that. And proceed to put on one of the greatest, old school drives you will ever see. On second thought, this might have been the highlight of the game. A 20 play drive that eats up nearly 9 minutes off the clock. Just a bunch of 3, 4, 5 yard Charles runs, 5-6 yard screen passes and out patterns, a calm, methodical drive down the field that had the Chiefs facing first and goal at the denver 1 yard line as the first quarter ended. In the west end zone, this hot as hell 32 year old was getting excited. It was set up, Chiefs punch it in over the next few plays, tie the game, get some momentum back ...
* and to noone's surprise, Todd Haley chooses three horrendous play calls from the goalline. First, a pitch left to Charles. Why in God's name would you call a pitch at the goalline? Pound the damned ball up the middle, four times in a row if you have to. Just fall forward. Whatever you do, don't go laterally because that's the ONLY way you can lose yardage (other than via penalty)! Charles loses 3. On second and goal, rather than giving it to Charles or (the surprisingly effective yesterday) Leonard Pope up the middle ... Haley puts Cassel in the shotgun, pass incomplete to Lance Long. Why in God's name would you call a SHOTGUN FORMATION on goal to go inside the 5? Why? Now, its third down. At this point a pass makes sense, but you could still catch denver offguard with a draw here (earlier on the drive, on 3rd and 7 at the denver 11, we'd called a draw to Charles, who gained 10 on the play to set up the goal to go. Cassel was under center on that play, so the defense had to play both run and pass, and didn't play either very effectively on that down, as Charles had a huge hole to plow through ... right up the middle). Now, on 3rd and 4 at the 4, Cassel again is in the shotgun, and this pass isn't even close to being complete.
Let's run through this one more time. Goal to go at the one. You're already 16 plays into the drive, you've had denver's defense on the field for 8 minutes and counting. Anyone with an ounce of football intelligence pounds it up the middle, four times if needed. Instead, Coach Asshat goes pitch left, shotgun incomplete, shotgun incomplete. A drive that should have ended 99% of the time with a Chiefs touchdown, had a power formation and straight ahead run been called ... instead ends in three baffling play calls and a field goal. This was as close as the Chiefs would come all day to catching denver.
Here's a hint, Todd. You don't get cute at the goalline. This isn't your girlfriend modeling her latest purchase from Victoria's Secret for you. That's where cute counts. Cute doesn't count on a football field. Victory is what counts there. You get victory by using common sense in how you attack the enemy. Nothing you did in this goal to go sequence passes the common sense test. Or helps you win yesterday. But it sure as hell contributed to yet another defeat on your resume.
* the teams exchange punts, before denver gets the ball back about midway through the quarter. And its at this point, that denver coach (and offensive play caller) josh mcdaniels changes direction. For most of the first 22 minutes, the donkeys have had more success in the air. To compensate, the Chiefs are starting to drop back off the line, play more nickel coverage, even on first down, and are dropping the linebackers into coverage a lot more than usual. mcdaniels sees this on the previous drive (where denver punted) and immediately adjusts the gameplan to pound the football. Seven plays and 80 yards later (only one play and 14 yards of which weren't running plays), denver's in the end zone again, knowshon moreno offtackle on 2nd and goal. (Note: denver got 1st and goal I believe at the Chiefs 4. They ran it offtackle with moreno twice, and scored. Take notes, Todd. You don't get cute at the goalline. You pound it down the opponent's throat.)
God bless it, I hate it that Pioli screwed the coaching hire. Why didn't Pioli hire mcdaniels? He knew josh better than any other GM looking for a coach. What's your excuse, Scott? What's your f*cking excuse for botching the first major decision with the Chiefs and setting the rebuild back another two years as a result if you don't fire him after this season? (And setting it back one year no matter what happens come January 4th).
Again, don't tell me coaching doesn't matter. It does in the NFL. denver has a tremendous head coach that'll be kicking our ass like a government mule for the next decade. We've got ... we've got an asshat who's too stupid to pound the ball at the one yard line. Excuse me while I go bash my head into the wall while having the irritating "in ... com ... plete! wa wa wa wa!!!" chant screamed in both my ears ...
* The teams then engage in a thrilling three-and-out festival, about 5 or 6 straight drives of neither side being able to do anything. Mostly due to inept quarterback play. Especially by Cassel. Who, when his receivers weren't half assing it and dropping passes, was overshooting his receivers with alarming inaccuracy. He had a throw in the third quarter, the drive after the fake punt, where he rolled out and had a wide open Chris Chambers 15 yards downfield. Cassel overshot Chambers by 20 yards. It was pathetic. Also, at one point yesterday, his QB rating hit a 3.2. 3.2! I believe you get a 42 just for doing nothing other than taking a snap. Holy Lord, he was awful yesterday.
* Then, the donkeys start driving. They get to midfield, and have a 3rd down play upcoming. Still about 1:45 to go in the half. Already up 14-3, if they punch this in, this game is all but over. Tamba Hali comes around the end, orton feels the pressure, panics, and moves up into the pocket instead of scrambling. Bad mistake. Hali nails him, knocks the ball out, and the Chiefs recover the fumble. Toss in a holding call by denver to boot, and the Chiefs are in business at midfield, with all three timeouts left.
This could have been a HUGE swing in momentum. If the Chiefs can score here, even just a field goal, they pull within a score at the half, and they get the ball, coming off what promised to be one of the most emotional halftimes ever in that stadium. Like so many times yesterday, the opportunity to get back in the game or really deliver a blow to denver was there.
The Chiefs did score ... although the clock management and (especially) the play call on 3rd down was atrocious. First down, Cassel gets off a short pass to Pope, who breaks a couple tackles to gain 11. Timeout Chiefs. That timeout, I was ok with. Pope was the safety valve, the play was designed to go downfield. You'd have to waste 20 seconds on the play clock getting everybody back, plus substitutions, no sense risking a stupid delay of game or false start penalty at that point, since you're pushing field goal range for Succup. (I believe we were at the 38 yard line).
Next play, protection breaks down, Cassel manages to get four yards and get out of bounds. Again, no complaints. He had to take off to avoid the rush, and he got out of bounds without losing yardage. Second down, short pass over the middle to Chambers sets up a third and a short one. Timeout Chiefs.
THIS timeout I had an issue with. This wasn't a downfield pass like the one that started the drive. Nobody went more than 7-8 yards downfield. Get back, bring in the power formation (its now 3rd and 1) and pound the f*cking football to get the first down, THEN call the timeout. You also have to consider that denver's moved the ball fairly well all day, you don't want to leave them too much time on the clock, especially since eddie royal is more than capable of returning the kick to midfield and beyond.
3rd and 1, more "cuteness" from Haley. Cassel in the shotgun. Incomplete. Now, its decision time. The wind yesterday was brutal. It was swirling in my end zone (which is where the field goal try would occur). At first Succup trots out, and then Haley has second thoughts, because the Chiefs burn their final timeout.
But as Paul Maguire would say, "let's go back to that previous play!" Why in the hell are you calling a shotgun formation on 3rd and 1, when (a) you only need about half a yard for the first down, and (b) the wind situation made ANY field goal try a crapshoot at best? Plus you still had a timeout left to stop the clock after the pickup!
Does ANYTHING even remotely sounding like this ever pass through Todd Haley's head? I'd be curious to know exactly what he was thinking in that spot. A power formation run, either up the middle or offtackle, is going to get you the first down 75% of the time, if not even higher. If you don't get the first, you aren't going to lose yardage, and then you can still try the field goal on 4th down. Sometimes its called an "obvious playcall" because it's "obvious" to everyone what the right thing to do is. Again, cute is wonderful when it involves a member of the opposite sex. Cute on the football field gets you fired. (Or at least it should in Todd Haley's case).
Then, more infuriating antics, at least to me. During the timeout, Haley and Cassel didn't even communicate. (brian griffin voice) what the hell? I stood and watched the sideline during this timeout. Haley didn't say one word to his quarterback. If the whole point of calling the timeout is to decide whether to try a dicey kick, or go for the first down, shouldn't the starting quarterback's input be heard? If anyone knows what the situation calls for, isn't it your field general? Again, its a small thing that's probably unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but it just illustrates to me yet again that Todd Haley has no clue what he is doing.
Haley opts to kick. The kick is good. Barely. This new regime's screwed up a lot in year one, but they nailed this draft pick. We haven't had a reliable place kicker with 35 plus yard range since Stoyanovich in the late 90s. (I know Morten Anderson was reliable, hence the "35 plus yard range" comment).
* So we're at the half. 14-6 denver. The moment everyone's been waiting for, the most hyped halftime event in franchise history, is upon us. The retirement of number 58.
As a stand alone event, it was very nice. I thought it was well-organized and well-planned. It seemed to be well-received by most of the fans. I liked seeing a lot of DT's former beloved teammates get some recognition -- Dan Saleaumua, Neil Smith, Tracy Simien, Kevin Ross. The guys who formed the core of the team that won a city's heart 20 years ago. It was wonderful to see Marty Schottenheimer, and I loved the huge, I mean huge, standing ovation he got. Seriously, that was the loudest Arrowhead got yesterday, was the prolongued applause for Marty. Good.
I also thought it was tremendously classy (and those are two words I do not often associate with the denver broncos or their fans, "tremendously" and "classy"), I thought it was tremendously classy that pretty much every denver fan in the stadium stood and applauded the honor of DT. As someone who toasted the demise of Barrel Man on Saturday night, I know I don't have the class their fans did yesterday.
(Although having said that ... rest in peace, Barrel Man. I may have hated you and I will always hate the team you rooted for, but you make every game for forty plus years, in the cold most of the time, while wearing just a barrel? And leaving your mark as one of the most recognizable fan symbols in the country? You got my respect. You'll be missed.)
Having said all that, again, nice respectful ceremony, appropriately done ... it was missing something. I don't know what exactly, but it just didn't feel right. For starters, I felt bad for his kids. I love DT, but the way he lived his life off the field is nothing to be respected. Anyone can make a mistake once. But seven times by five different women? To me, the kids being out there had to happen, but it kind of put a downer on the deal. A visual reminder that DT's greatness on the field was matched, if not topped, by his reckless stupidity off of it.
Plus, where was Carl? I don't care what issues Chiefs fans had with him by the end, the bottom line is that Carl's first major decision as our GM was to hire Marty. (Good start). His second major decision was to spend a top five draft pick on Derrick Thomas. (Even better). I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that Scott Pioli hiring Todd Haley and drafting Tyson Jackson isn't going to have the same impact on this team that Marty and Derrick did. (Well, it might, except in the exact opposite direction). Carl did a wonderful job presenting DT for induction. I think he should have been on the field yesterday to see the number retired.
And I know this is a nit picking point ... but where was Commissioner Goodell? I get that the Chiefs suck, and a December blowout victory by the visiting team isn't high on his priorities list, but wouldn't a number retirement for a Hall of Famer who was just inducted earlier this year at least show up on his radar somewhere? Even if it was a quick "fly in Sunday morning and leave at halftime" appearance, I think the Commish should have been there.
Also ... why was the ceremony so short? There were still 8 minutes left in the halftime when the thing was done. Why not have Saleaumua or Neil Smith or Marty speak? I know they did some pre-taped bits that aired during timeouts, but what's the harm in turning Neil Smith loose on the mic when you've got 5 minutes to spare?
All in all, again, a very nice, respectful gesture by the Chiefs, the Hall of Fame, the Thomas family, and his former teammates and coaches. But something was missing.
* Chiefs get the ball to open the second half. After a couple incompletions, its 4th down and 7. Cue the fake punt. Let's examine this fateful play a little bit more, ok?
Here's what the Star had to write: "Haley's decision-making again was questionable, underscored by a series of trick plays and an attempt to convert a fourth down, when Croyle lined up as the Chiefs punter, took the snap and, under pressure from the clearly unsurprised broncos, threw the ball into the turf."
(Note: when the freaking Kansas City Star, who at last check still employ Lewis Diuguid and Mary Sanchez, two folks who see racism in just ordering a cheeseburger, when the Star is calling your decision making "questionable", I think that's saying something.)
Here's what Brodie Croyle, who hadn't been asked to punt since high school, had to say about the worst playcall in franchise history: "We were hoping to catch them off guard. I think we did."
(Note: that only further enrages me. "I think we did". No, Brodie, you didn't. You didn't fool one damned person in that stadium. Most of all the 11 guys wearing white on that play, you definitely didn't catch them "off guard".)
Here's what Todd Haley, who isn't capable of coaching a high school team at this point, had to say about the worst playcall in franchise history: "We felt good, obviously, to call it (the play). The nature of the play made it something we had to do in our own end where they didn't have any chance to be in any kind of safe punt return or coverage."
And then, rather than admit the obvious (that it was a horrendous decision that completely opened the floodgates to a denver victory), Todd Haley did what he does best: he threw his troops under the bus. "We missed a block. We turned a guy free that should have been blocked. Then we've got to execute the play. The ball was knocked down. Who the ball was going to, it appeared to me he was open for a very big play".
The Star's next paragraph, again, in a rare voice of reason moment for that publication: "Gafford was indeed uncovered, but the ball never had a chance to get to him. (broncos player richard) quinn was not fooled".
So let's see here. You trot out the backup QB to ostensibly punt the ball. The donkeys defenders, not even remotely fooled or bamboozled by what is going to happen, simply shift tactics and hold their blocks rather than rush the "punter". By holding their blocks, the receiver for the play (the snapper) can't get open, because he has to block. There is no fallback option, no contingency plan. Its all or nothing. By simply noting "hey, that's a QB back there, not the punter. Whatdya bet something fishy is about to happen", the donkeys special teams turned the game from a tight, competitive contest, into an ass kicking of Biblical proportions.
And all our coach can say about it, his reaction to the brain fart of the century, is to (a) toss his players under the bus, (b) claim that it worked in practice, and (c) attempt to avoid all responsibility for his game-changing decision. In the words of the great Verne Lundquist, "wonderful!"
But don't just take my word for it! Plenty of folks were angry, stunned, or laughing hysterically over this abject stupidity of this playcall. The donkeys fans next to me turned and asked "is your coach really this stupid?" (Yes. Yes he is.) Greg, the guy who sits in front of me, simply turned around with a "what the f*ck just happened" look of abject horror. The curly haired guy two rows in front of me turned around with the same "what the f*ck just happened" look, only this one was of a "this is so stupid you can't help but laugh" variety.
Gregg, the ex-roommate, has yet to comment. I sent the "todd must go cut the cord" text that every other time gets a "you overreact / he's not that bad / give him time" response. No response this time. (Congratulations, Todd! You've managed to f*ck up so spectacularly that my voice of reason cannot disagree with what I am saying about you! You definitely get a Tommy Point for that one.)
But don't just take it from section 132. I asked a fellow STH over in 136 his thoughts. Dusty's reply: "I wasn't cold anymore after that play. My blood was boiling." And this too, "I don't care who you are, that's a fireable offense. That's a fireable offense". (Take it from me folks, as p*ssed off as I was after that game yesterday, and especially over this play, I had nothing on Dusty J yesterday. Keep reading ...)
* I should have left after that play. Instead, I spent the next 20 some odd minutes just staring in rage at the Chiefs sideline. Ask anyone sitting by me. I didn't talk, I didn't move. I just stood there, arms folded, with a look of sheer rage, staring at the retard in the black shirt walking our sideline. The Chiefs D held denver to a field goal after the turnover on downs to go up 17-6, but the damage was done. Nobody supporting the Chiefs, at that point, had even an ounce of confidence in the team to win. And we were right.
Cassel intercepted on the second play after the field goal. A horrendous pass. Returned to the Chiefs 20. A couple plays later, touchdown denver, I believe this was marshall's catch. Its now 24-6 and we're just getting started. Cassel again intercepted on another horrendous pass. The donkeys kick a field goal. 27-6, and we're just getting warmed up. After an exchange of three and outs, Jamaal Charles goes pitch right ... and fumbles. Touchdown denver. 34-6. It is at this point that I turn to Russ and Mona, note "the booze is cheaper at the bus", and I was out.
* The walk back was just surreal. Every Chiefs fan fled that stadium after the fumble. In the span of 10 minutes, we had gone from having the ball with a chance to tie the game, to being down 28. All traceable to one amazingly retarded decision, a decision that should seal Todd Haley's fate. Everyone you passed just shook their heads, with a "I cannot believe this happened" look. Normally on the walk back, even after a loss, I'll stop and talk to the regulars on the grass, chat it up with whoever I'm walking out with, at least go over a few key points and moments with Russ. I didn't say a word. Nobody said a word.
We get back to the bus, Russ unlocks it, and doesn't say a word. He just heads back, grabs two plastic cups, hands me one, and heads off for the beer tap. This was too painful for beer -- I immediately open the vodka bottle and the apple juice, and make a Steve style concoction that was pretty much 75% vodka. Russ and I head over to the tailgating neighbors (the ones with the bus in progress), and two of them are there. The one guy goes "I left after that fake punt. It's a joke. This whole damned team's a joke". The other guy just nods in agreement.
To further set the scene, even if you leave a game early, usually somebody, anybody, around you that's waiting out traffic or just hanging out for the hell of it, has the game on. Either on a TV or the radio, someone has it on. NOBODY had the game on. Its was so quiet out there that it quite honestly scared me. Nobody was talking, nobody's radio was playing the game or music or anything. Just angry p*ssed off fans drinking a bad season now gone horribly wrong away.
* Mona and Katie arrive next. Again, nobody really talking. Some jello shots appeared. You don't need to ask me twice.
* Dusty and Kellie next. Kellie of course had every right to be happy, as her team was winning. Dusty ... I gotta admit, I have never seen him as p*ssed off as he was at that moment. Never. I've known the kid for years, hell I lived with him for two years. Even the night we evicted "deadbeat ex roommate", the shopping at Lowe's for the locks and a new door and knowing how ugly it was going to get, four years of frustration with that loser about to boil over ... even THEN he wasn't as p*ssed off as yesterday. As Kellie stopped to have some shots and some beer and enjoy the victory, Dusty simply went and sat in the car to vent. Nothing you said or did could get him to come out of the car. Eventually, he moved the car over to make the walk for Kellie easier ... only he still didn't come out of the car. He just sat there, the anger rising. It was a true Steve style meltdown. Just obsessing over the play. He didn't even say goodbye -- he just rolled down the back window after a few minutes and yelled something like "Kellie, now!"
I personally loved it.
(It was nice for once to not be the irrational one in the group obsessing over a game.)
* Here's a true measure of how ugly it was. Normally when I leave a game early, I have to wait a while, because (a) not everybody's back yet or (b) the traffic is terrible. You can't exactly merge a huge bus into a steady stream of cars. Everyone left so early yesterday, that we were home before the game ended.
* Not only the beer tap broke yesterday, but we lost a goalpost on the drive home. Stupid dangling power lines.
* Postgame, not much to say. Sat around, drank, then headed home to watch "The Amazing Race" and drink. I had zero interest in watching the Sunday nighter. Mainly because watching the Cardinals, you just sit back and think "wait. Our head coach was their coordinator. Our defensive coordinator was their coordinator. They replace both of them after a Super Bowl appearance ... and they're better this year?" Oy.
* I am undecided on my attendance the remainder of the season. On the one hand, its a sunken cost. I'm out the $168 whether I go or not. On the other hand, I honestly don't think I can take it anymore. I hate our head coach so much, I have so little confidence in his ability to lead this team, that its not worth investing any more time or emotion at this point. Every decision only adds to the hatred, only adds to the rage I feel towards this team and this coach.
The only thing left now is to wait out the last four weeks, hope Todd Haley is fired, and a competent, qualified coach is hired to replace him. The Todd Haley Experiment is a failure. There's no other way to put it. Yesterday Todd Haley and his staff were exposed to the nation as frauds. They are incompetent. Not just Haley though, every last damned one of them should be sent packing. You don't fire the offensive coordinator two weeks before the season starts. That's a recipe for disaster. Haley did it. And this season is a disaster.
Where's the quality control guy, the Mike White of the staff, to step in and tell Todd that faking a punt with the backup QB is a retarded idea? I hate, I mean I freaking hate, the notion out there on Martin Manley's Upon Further Review site and elsewhere, that Haley is coaching aggressively to try to steal a win. Very few head coaches in this league have ever been more aggressive than Dick Vermeil. That man never met an opportunity where he didn't try to steal the situation. But he had Mike White there to reign in his excesses. Where's the Mike White on this staff? Where's the special teams coach screaming into his headset the utter stupidity of what Todd wants to try? Where's the common sense that tells you faking a punt to open the second half of a game you're only down a score in, is absolute insanity?
Bill Parcells always noted "you are what you are". These Chiefs are a direct reflection of their head coach and his playbooks. You like what you see, Kansas City? You feel proud to root for these guys? A defense that's given up 9 400+ yard games in 12 weeks? An offense that has topped 300 in yardage once this season? A team that's 1-5 at home, has given up 40 plus in back to back weeks, has given up 35 plus in half their games, and has yet to top 27 points scored. Players openly half assing it on the field, coaches unable to bring out the best in them?
I don't like what I see. I effing hate what I see.
Sorry to ramble. I needed to vent. For a better and more reasoned perspective, read Bob Gretz.
After yesterday's Chiefs / donkeys showdown at Arrowhead, I know exactly where to begin. And this is definitely not a good thing.
On the single most retarded play call I have ever witnessed.
To set the scene: its 4th and 7 at the Chiefs 28. Barely a minute has rolled off the clock to open the second half. The Chiefs trail 14-6. It is a one possession game, with 28 plus minutes to go. It is 4th and 7 at your own 28. Anyone with even an ounce of common sense punts the f*cking football. Anyone with an IQ of over 3 knows to punt the damned football.
Todd Haley, a man who will not be confused anytime soon with someone who possesses an "ounce of common sense" or "an IQ of over three", decides to fake the punt.
Only, he not just fakes the punt, because as stupid as that would have been, at least you might have caught the donkeys napping, something screwy might have happened, maybe someone decks Dusty C and you get a personal foul, at least a legitimate fake punt you can find some semblance of a justification for.
But to trot the backup QB out there and line him up as the punter? You have to be mentally retarded to not know what's coming next. The denver broncos are a lot of things, but they are not mentally retarded. They are a smart, disciplined, well coached football team.
The Chiefs, on the other hand, are none of those things.
As soon as they snapped it to Croyle, the ballgame was over. Not even remotely surprisingly, the donkeys maintained their lanes, batted the pass down (and there wasn't a Chiefs player with 20 feet of where the pass was headed anyways), and opened the floodgates. Three turnovers and 20 points later, I left at 34-6, with still 2 plus minutes left in the quarter.
I stood incredulous as the fake punt unfolded. I then stood in rage for 20 minutes afterwards, just glaring at the Chiefs sideline as the game fell apart, wishing to God there was some way to grab a sledgehammer and beat Todd Haley HHH style. Including chucking him through the Spanish announcing table.
For me, this experiment is over. I'm through with Todd Haley. He's dead to me. He flunked the only meaningful test of his rookie season -- he got embarrassed at home by my most hated franchise. And not just embarrassed -- he was exposed to the world yesterday for everything I believed him to be. A sh*tty ass head coach that's in over his head, hated by his players, inept at every single aspect of the game. After yesterday, there is no way, absolutely no way, anyone with a basic understanding of football can justify Todd Haley's continued employment beyond January 4, 2010. There is no way that can be done.
Its over. Pull the plug. ASAFP!!!
This was the equivalent of Marty Mornhinweg taking the wind instead of the ball to open overtime. This was the equivalent of the Vikings failing to turn in the draft card on time for two consecutive picks. This was the equivalent of the Miracle at the Meadowlands in terms of playcalling stupidity.
This was the single most retarded decision I have ever seen someone make.
Let's do this, I'll have more on the play below, because I'm not even close to being done raging about this. Especially given how Coach Asshat actually DEFENDED his decision in his postgame comments. I swear, when I heard his remarks, I wanted to cry. I've never been so angry to be a fan of a team as I am this morning. Past losses to denver I could cope with, because at least we had hope for the future. As long as Todd Haley is calling the shots, the Chiefs have NO shot of on-field success. None. This is as good as it gets for us with Coach Asshat at the helm. Getting tripled up at home. Allowing 40 plus to two divisional opponents in back-to-back weeks. (Side note: prior to yesterday, no Chiefs team in history had allowed 40 points in back-to-back games. Not even the "32 Defense" from 2002 accomplished that feat. Todd Haley's done more damage to this team in 12 weeks than even I imagined was possible. And I'm not exactly a Todd Haley fan).
* Should have known this would be a bad day based on how Nebraska / Texas ended the night before. For what its worth, the replay officials got it right, there should have been a second left on the clock. It still doesn't make it any easier to swallow though.
* I was wide awake at 3:30am. I was ready for this one. Too bad the Chiefs head coach wasn't.
* Arrived at the buses around 6am. You know I'm ready for a game when, despite the freezing cold, despite the threat of snow, and despite my stated hatred of said cold and snow, I arrived before half the other tailgaters were even awake.
* Solid crew yesterday. Two fairly packed buses. Menu was soups and chilis, with plenty of liquid and jello refreshment. I have to be honest -- at this point, the only reason I keep showing up is (a) the tickets are a sunken cost, and (b) the tailgating. There's no other reason to step foot on the grounds at One Arrowhead Drive. None. Unless you can facilitate my dream of going HHH on Coach Asshat through the Spanish announcing table. That's a valid reason too.
* The really nice new tailgating neighbors we met last home game, the ones who'd bought a short bus to turn into a tailgating dream, have made significant progress on said dream. The sides are all painted white, and they've got the Chiefs logos and emblems up. Its looking good, slowly yet surely.
* Funniest moment of tailgating: has to be when our neighbors across the way stumble in carrying a huge bottle of Cuervo and start offering shots to people. Turns out the guy's name is Castro. Poor guy. Most folks of Hispanic descent really wouldn't want to be stuck with the name "Castro", I would think. (The way he said it, I'm guessing he's not thrilled with his folks name choice at all).
* Worst moment of tailgating: as Monty's pulling the ambulance onto the grass, the beer tap split in two. Thankfully, enough was left on the tap to still enjoy the beer, but that definitely sucked.
* There were a ton of donkeys fans there yesterday. I had at least 15 of them in a 5 row vicinity around me. Including two right next to me in the seats that almost never get used. I guess I should be thankful to Coach Asshat for one thing -- his play call for the fake punt so enraged me, that I didn't even notice how obnoxious the donkeys fans got as that third quarter went along until I was leaving the stadium.
* The KC Wolf opening sketch was atrocious. I actually felt bad for the guy playing the sacrificial donkey. He had a look on his face for most of the pre-taped video that was a cross between "call my agent and CONFIRM I am getting paid to appear in this sh*tfest" and "please dear God, don't let anyone I know see me act in this sketch". In his defense, I would have been thinking the exact same two things.
* No flyover yesterday. Finally, someone looking out for the taxpayer's best interests.
(And please note: I am not anti-military, I'm not an isolationist, and I'm anything but an anti-war dove. But I am anti-flyover, because they are a complete waste of the taxpayer's money. We have far more pressing social concerns to be spending that money on than gassing up a few instruments of war to accommodate a worthless pregame show that nobody is going to remember 30 minutes after the fact anyways. I know I'm right about this.)
* The chick doing the national anthem was decent. Whitney something or other. If the singing career doesn't work out (and according to her Wikipedia page, its not), she should have her agent get Vivid Entertainment or Wicked Pictures on the line, she's attractive enough to be at least the third chick in a scene for one of those fine production companies.
* Chiefs won the toss, and chose to defer. It figures, the smartest decision anyone on our sideline made all day, and it was done on a coin toss. Oy.
* donkeys first drive was pretty impressive. Marched it a solid 65 yards in about 3 minutes. Then, kyle orton drops back to pass, and I still have no idea who or what he was looking at. It was into my end zone, and I didn't see anyone in white in the middle of the end zone where he was throwing. Demarrio Williams deflected the pass, and Mike Brown picked it off. Sadly, that was the highlight of the day, and there was still 55 plus minutes of craptacular football left to go.
* The Chiefs could do nothing after a turnover yesterday.
* Chiefs first drive after that interception, Cassel drops back on 3rd and about 5 and airs it out. It was a decently thrown ball that a wide open Bobby Wade should have caught, I thought. Only Wade didn't sell out to make the catch, he simply stuck his right arm out and hoped the ball would fall in. It went off his right hand. If he'd doved for the reception, odds are he gets it. He didn't even try. I'm telling you, this team has quit on Todd Haley. You could see it all day long yesterday, the subtle hints that the players just don't give a sh*t, they're so tired of being constantly berated by an idiot that they're just doing what they damned well want to. Even if that means half assing a pass right off the bat.
* After the play, Haley (for once, justifiably) lost his temper and ripped into Bobby Wade on the sidelines. Wade chose not to stand there and take it. He started screaming back. A player half assing it on the field is now screaming at a coach asking him why he's loafing like Carlos Beltran back in the day. Its imploding folks. Its all coming down in front of our eyes. And there's still a month left to go ...
* Seriously, do you think Carl ever watches a Chiefs game and just spends the entire three hours laughing his ass off? He took over a team in far worse shape than this one was, and between some shrewd Plan B signings, some tremendous drafting, and rock solid coaching, had the team a missed field goal at Cleveland away from the playoffs. In season one. I don't think Scott Pioli and Todd Haley could find a way to reach the playoffs if you gave them a Garmin and fronted them the tickets.
* The second denver possession, orton just tore the secondary to shreds. Four completions, plus a face mask penalty, and then orton found the endzone, I believe this was the graham TD. 7-0 donkeys.
* The Chiefs take the field, now trailing 7-0 and it probably should have been worse than that. And proceed to put on one of the greatest, old school drives you will ever see. On second thought, this might have been the highlight of the game. A 20 play drive that eats up nearly 9 minutes off the clock. Just a bunch of 3, 4, 5 yard Charles runs, 5-6 yard screen passes and out patterns, a calm, methodical drive down the field that had the Chiefs facing first and goal at the denver 1 yard line as the first quarter ended. In the west end zone, this hot as hell 32 year old was getting excited. It was set up, Chiefs punch it in over the next few plays, tie the game, get some momentum back ...
* and to noone's surprise, Todd Haley chooses three horrendous play calls from the goalline. First, a pitch left to Charles. Why in God's name would you call a pitch at the goalline? Pound the damned ball up the middle, four times in a row if you have to. Just fall forward. Whatever you do, don't go laterally because that's the ONLY way you can lose yardage (other than via penalty)! Charles loses 3. On second and goal, rather than giving it to Charles or (the surprisingly effective yesterday) Leonard Pope up the middle ... Haley puts Cassel in the shotgun, pass incomplete to Lance Long. Why in God's name would you call a SHOTGUN FORMATION on goal to go inside the 5? Why? Now, its third down. At this point a pass makes sense, but you could still catch denver offguard with a draw here (earlier on the drive, on 3rd and 7 at the denver 11, we'd called a draw to Charles, who gained 10 on the play to set up the goal to go. Cassel was under center on that play, so the defense had to play both run and pass, and didn't play either very effectively on that down, as Charles had a huge hole to plow through ... right up the middle). Now, on 3rd and 4 at the 4, Cassel again is in the shotgun, and this pass isn't even close to being complete.
Let's run through this one more time. Goal to go at the one. You're already 16 plays into the drive, you've had denver's defense on the field for 8 minutes and counting. Anyone with an ounce of football intelligence pounds it up the middle, four times if needed. Instead, Coach Asshat goes pitch left, shotgun incomplete, shotgun incomplete. A drive that should have ended 99% of the time with a Chiefs touchdown, had a power formation and straight ahead run been called ... instead ends in three baffling play calls and a field goal. This was as close as the Chiefs would come all day to catching denver.
Here's a hint, Todd. You don't get cute at the goalline. This isn't your girlfriend modeling her latest purchase from Victoria's Secret for you. That's where cute counts. Cute doesn't count on a football field. Victory is what counts there. You get victory by using common sense in how you attack the enemy. Nothing you did in this goal to go sequence passes the common sense test. Or helps you win yesterday. But it sure as hell contributed to yet another defeat on your resume.
* the teams exchange punts, before denver gets the ball back about midway through the quarter. And its at this point, that denver coach (and offensive play caller) josh mcdaniels changes direction. For most of the first 22 minutes, the donkeys have had more success in the air. To compensate, the Chiefs are starting to drop back off the line, play more nickel coverage, even on first down, and are dropping the linebackers into coverage a lot more than usual. mcdaniels sees this on the previous drive (where denver punted) and immediately adjusts the gameplan to pound the football. Seven plays and 80 yards later (only one play and 14 yards of which weren't running plays), denver's in the end zone again, knowshon moreno offtackle on 2nd and goal. (Note: denver got 1st and goal I believe at the Chiefs 4. They ran it offtackle with moreno twice, and scored. Take notes, Todd. You don't get cute at the goalline. You pound it down the opponent's throat.)
God bless it, I hate it that Pioli screwed the coaching hire. Why didn't Pioli hire mcdaniels? He knew josh better than any other GM looking for a coach. What's your excuse, Scott? What's your f*cking excuse for botching the first major decision with the Chiefs and setting the rebuild back another two years as a result if you don't fire him after this season? (And setting it back one year no matter what happens come January 4th).
Again, don't tell me coaching doesn't matter. It does in the NFL. denver has a tremendous head coach that'll be kicking our ass like a government mule for the next decade. We've got ... we've got an asshat who's too stupid to pound the ball at the one yard line. Excuse me while I go bash my head into the wall while having the irritating "in ... com ... plete! wa wa wa wa!!!" chant screamed in both my ears ...
* The teams then engage in a thrilling three-and-out festival, about 5 or 6 straight drives of neither side being able to do anything. Mostly due to inept quarterback play. Especially by Cassel. Who, when his receivers weren't half assing it and dropping passes, was overshooting his receivers with alarming inaccuracy. He had a throw in the third quarter, the drive after the fake punt, where he rolled out and had a wide open Chris Chambers 15 yards downfield. Cassel overshot Chambers by 20 yards. It was pathetic. Also, at one point yesterday, his QB rating hit a 3.2. 3.2! I believe you get a 42 just for doing nothing other than taking a snap. Holy Lord, he was awful yesterday.
* Then, the donkeys start driving. They get to midfield, and have a 3rd down play upcoming. Still about 1:45 to go in the half. Already up 14-3, if they punch this in, this game is all but over. Tamba Hali comes around the end, orton feels the pressure, panics, and moves up into the pocket instead of scrambling. Bad mistake. Hali nails him, knocks the ball out, and the Chiefs recover the fumble. Toss in a holding call by denver to boot, and the Chiefs are in business at midfield, with all three timeouts left.
This could have been a HUGE swing in momentum. If the Chiefs can score here, even just a field goal, they pull within a score at the half, and they get the ball, coming off what promised to be one of the most emotional halftimes ever in that stadium. Like so many times yesterday, the opportunity to get back in the game or really deliver a blow to denver was there.
The Chiefs did score ... although the clock management and (especially) the play call on 3rd down was atrocious. First down, Cassel gets off a short pass to Pope, who breaks a couple tackles to gain 11. Timeout Chiefs. That timeout, I was ok with. Pope was the safety valve, the play was designed to go downfield. You'd have to waste 20 seconds on the play clock getting everybody back, plus substitutions, no sense risking a stupid delay of game or false start penalty at that point, since you're pushing field goal range for Succup. (I believe we were at the 38 yard line).
Next play, protection breaks down, Cassel manages to get four yards and get out of bounds. Again, no complaints. He had to take off to avoid the rush, and he got out of bounds without losing yardage. Second down, short pass over the middle to Chambers sets up a third and a short one. Timeout Chiefs.
THIS timeout I had an issue with. This wasn't a downfield pass like the one that started the drive. Nobody went more than 7-8 yards downfield. Get back, bring in the power formation (its now 3rd and 1) and pound the f*cking football to get the first down, THEN call the timeout. You also have to consider that denver's moved the ball fairly well all day, you don't want to leave them too much time on the clock, especially since eddie royal is more than capable of returning the kick to midfield and beyond.
3rd and 1, more "cuteness" from Haley. Cassel in the shotgun. Incomplete. Now, its decision time. The wind yesterday was brutal. It was swirling in my end zone (which is where the field goal try would occur). At first Succup trots out, and then Haley has second thoughts, because the Chiefs burn their final timeout.
But as Paul Maguire would say, "let's go back to that previous play!" Why in the hell are you calling a shotgun formation on 3rd and 1, when (a) you only need about half a yard for the first down, and (b) the wind situation made ANY field goal try a crapshoot at best? Plus you still had a timeout left to stop the clock after the pickup!
Does ANYTHING even remotely sounding like this ever pass through Todd Haley's head? I'd be curious to know exactly what he was thinking in that spot. A power formation run, either up the middle or offtackle, is going to get you the first down 75% of the time, if not even higher. If you don't get the first, you aren't going to lose yardage, and then you can still try the field goal on 4th down. Sometimes its called an "obvious playcall" because it's "obvious" to everyone what the right thing to do is. Again, cute is wonderful when it involves a member of the opposite sex. Cute on the football field gets you fired. (Or at least it should in Todd Haley's case).
Then, more infuriating antics, at least to me. During the timeout, Haley and Cassel didn't even communicate. (brian griffin voice) what the hell? I stood and watched the sideline during this timeout. Haley didn't say one word to his quarterback. If the whole point of calling the timeout is to decide whether to try a dicey kick, or go for the first down, shouldn't the starting quarterback's input be heard? If anyone knows what the situation calls for, isn't it your field general? Again, its a small thing that's probably unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but it just illustrates to me yet again that Todd Haley has no clue what he is doing.
Haley opts to kick. The kick is good. Barely. This new regime's screwed up a lot in year one, but they nailed this draft pick. We haven't had a reliable place kicker with 35 plus yard range since Stoyanovich in the late 90s. (I know Morten Anderson was reliable, hence the "35 plus yard range" comment).
* So we're at the half. 14-6 denver. The moment everyone's been waiting for, the most hyped halftime event in franchise history, is upon us. The retirement of number 58.
As a stand alone event, it was very nice. I thought it was well-organized and well-planned. It seemed to be well-received by most of the fans. I liked seeing a lot of DT's former beloved teammates get some recognition -- Dan Saleaumua, Neil Smith, Tracy Simien, Kevin Ross. The guys who formed the core of the team that won a city's heart 20 years ago. It was wonderful to see Marty Schottenheimer, and I loved the huge, I mean huge, standing ovation he got. Seriously, that was the loudest Arrowhead got yesterday, was the prolongued applause for Marty. Good.
I also thought it was tremendously classy (and those are two words I do not often associate with the denver broncos or their fans, "tremendously" and "classy"), I thought it was tremendously classy that pretty much every denver fan in the stadium stood and applauded the honor of DT. As someone who toasted the demise of Barrel Man on Saturday night, I know I don't have the class their fans did yesterday.
(Although having said that ... rest in peace, Barrel Man. I may have hated you and I will always hate the team you rooted for, but you make every game for forty plus years, in the cold most of the time, while wearing just a barrel? And leaving your mark as one of the most recognizable fan symbols in the country? You got my respect. You'll be missed.)
Having said all that, again, nice respectful ceremony, appropriately done ... it was missing something. I don't know what exactly, but it just didn't feel right. For starters, I felt bad for his kids. I love DT, but the way he lived his life off the field is nothing to be respected. Anyone can make a mistake once. But seven times by five different women? To me, the kids being out there had to happen, but it kind of put a downer on the deal. A visual reminder that DT's greatness on the field was matched, if not topped, by his reckless stupidity off of it.
Plus, where was Carl? I don't care what issues Chiefs fans had with him by the end, the bottom line is that Carl's first major decision as our GM was to hire Marty. (Good start). His second major decision was to spend a top five draft pick on Derrick Thomas. (Even better). I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that Scott Pioli hiring Todd Haley and drafting Tyson Jackson isn't going to have the same impact on this team that Marty and Derrick did. (Well, it might, except in the exact opposite direction). Carl did a wonderful job presenting DT for induction. I think he should have been on the field yesterday to see the number retired.
And I know this is a nit picking point ... but where was Commissioner Goodell? I get that the Chiefs suck, and a December blowout victory by the visiting team isn't high on his priorities list, but wouldn't a number retirement for a Hall of Famer who was just inducted earlier this year at least show up on his radar somewhere? Even if it was a quick "fly in Sunday morning and leave at halftime" appearance, I think the Commish should have been there.
Also ... why was the ceremony so short? There were still 8 minutes left in the halftime when the thing was done. Why not have Saleaumua or Neil Smith or Marty speak? I know they did some pre-taped bits that aired during timeouts, but what's the harm in turning Neil Smith loose on the mic when you've got 5 minutes to spare?
All in all, again, a very nice, respectful gesture by the Chiefs, the Hall of Fame, the Thomas family, and his former teammates and coaches. But something was missing.
* Chiefs get the ball to open the second half. After a couple incompletions, its 4th down and 7. Cue the fake punt. Let's examine this fateful play a little bit more, ok?
Here's what the Star had to write: "Haley's decision-making again was questionable, underscored by a series of trick plays and an attempt to convert a fourth down, when Croyle lined up as the Chiefs punter, took the snap and, under pressure from the clearly unsurprised broncos, threw the ball into the turf."
(Note: when the freaking Kansas City Star, who at last check still employ Lewis Diuguid and Mary Sanchez, two folks who see racism in just ordering a cheeseburger, when the Star is calling your decision making "questionable", I think that's saying something.)
Here's what Brodie Croyle, who hadn't been asked to punt since high school, had to say about the worst playcall in franchise history: "We were hoping to catch them off guard. I think we did."
(Note: that only further enrages me. "I think we did". No, Brodie, you didn't. You didn't fool one damned person in that stadium. Most of all the 11 guys wearing white on that play, you definitely didn't catch them "off guard".)
Here's what Todd Haley, who isn't capable of coaching a high school team at this point, had to say about the worst playcall in franchise history: "We felt good, obviously, to call it (the play). The nature of the play made it something we had to do in our own end where they didn't have any chance to be in any kind of safe punt return or coverage."
And then, rather than admit the obvious (that it was a horrendous decision that completely opened the floodgates to a denver victory), Todd Haley did what he does best: he threw his troops under the bus. "We missed a block. We turned a guy free that should have been blocked. Then we've got to execute the play. The ball was knocked down. Who the ball was going to, it appeared to me he was open for a very big play".
The Star's next paragraph, again, in a rare voice of reason moment for that publication: "Gafford was indeed uncovered, but the ball never had a chance to get to him. (broncos player richard) quinn was not fooled".
So let's see here. You trot out the backup QB to ostensibly punt the ball. The donkeys defenders, not even remotely fooled or bamboozled by what is going to happen, simply shift tactics and hold their blocks rather than rush the "punter". By holding their blocks, the receiver for the play (the snapper) can't get open, because he has to block. There is no fallback option, no contingency plan. Its all or nothing. By simply noting "hey, that's a QB back there, not the punter. Whatdya bet something fishy is about to happen", the donkeys special teams turned the game from a tight, competitive contest, into an ass kicking of Biblical proportions.
And all our coach can say about it, his reaction to the brain fart of the century, is to (a) toss his players under the bus, (b) claim that it worked in practice, and (c) attempt to avoid all responsibility for his game-changing decision. In the words of the great Verne Lundquist, "wonderful!"
But don't just take my word for it! Plenty of folks were angry, stunned, or laughing hysterically over this abject stupidity of this playcall. The donkeys fans next to me turned and asked "is your coach really this stupid?" (Yes. Yes he is.) Greg, the guy who sits in front of me, simply turned around with a "what the f*ck just happened" look of abject horror. The curly haired guy two rows in front of me turned around with the same "what the f*ck just happened" look, only this one was of a "this is so stupid you can't help but laugh" variety.
Gregg, the ex-roommate, has yet to comment. I sent the "todd must go cut the cord" text that every other time gets a "you overreact / he's not that bad / give him time" response. No response this time. (Congratulations, Todd! You've managed to f*ck up so spectacularly that my voice of reason cannot disagree with what I am saying about you! You definitely get a Tommy Point for that one.)
But don't just take it from section 132. I asked a fellow STH over in 136 his thoughts. Dusty's reply: "I wasn't cold anymore after that play. My blood was boiling." And this too, "I don't care who you are, that's a fireable offense. That's a fireable offense". (Take it from me folks, as p*ssed off as I was after that game yesterday, and especially over this play, I had nothing on Dusty J yesterday. Keep reading ...)
* I should have left after that play. Instead, I spent the next 20 some odd minutes just staring in rage at the Chiefs sideline. Ask anyone sitting by me. I didn't talk, I didn't move. I just stood there, arms folded, with a look of sheer rage, staring at the retard in the black shirt walking our sideline. The Chiefs D held denver to a field goal after the turnover on downs to go up 17-6, but the damage was done. Nobody supporting the Chiefs, at that point, had even an ounce of confidence in the team to win. And we were right.
Cassel intercepted on the second play after the field goal. A horrendous pass. Returned to the Chiefs 20. A couple plays later, touchdown denver, I believe this was marshall's catch. Its now 24-6 and we're just getting started. Cassel again intercepted on another horrendous pass. The donkeys kick a field goal. 27-6, and we're just getting warmed up. After an exchange of three and outs, Jamaal Charles goes pitch right ... and fumbles. Touchdown denver. 34-6. It is at this point that I turn to Russ and Mona, note "the booze is cheaper at the bus", and I was out.
* The walk back was just surreal. Every Chiefs fan fled that stadium after the fumble. In the span of 10 minutes, we had gone from having the ball with a chance to tie the game, to being down 28. All traceable to one amazingly retarded decision, a decision that should seal Todd Haley's fate. Everyone you passed just shook their heads, with a "I cannot believe this happened" look. Normally on the walk back, even after a loss, I'll stop and talk to the regulars on the grass, chat it up with whoever I'm walking out with, at least go over a few key points and moments with Russ. I didn't say a word. Nobody said a word.
We get back to the bus, Russ unlocks it, and doesn't say a word. He just heads back, grabs two plastic cups, hands me one, and heads off for the beer tap. This was too painful for beer -- I immediately open the vodka bottle and the apple juice, and make a Steve style concoction that was pretty much 75% vodka. Russ and I head over to the tailgating neighbors (the ones with the bus in progress), and two of them are there. The one guy goes "I left after that fake punt. It's a joke. This whole damned team's a joke". The other guy just nods in agreement.
To further set the scene, even if you leave a game early, usually somebody, anybody, around you that's waiting out traffic or just hanging out for the hell of it, has the game on. Either on a TV or the radio, someone has it on. NOBODY had the game on. Its was so quiet out there that it quite honestly scared me. Nobody was talking, nobody's radio was playing the game or music or anything. Just angry p*ssed off fans drinking a bad season now gone horribly wrong away.
* Mona and Katie arrive next. Again, nobody really talking. Some jello shots appeared. You don't need to ask me twice.
* Dusty and Kellie next. Kellie of course had every right to be happy, as her team was winning. Dusty ... I gotta admit, I have never seen him as p*ssed off as he was at that moment. Never. I've known the kid for years, hell I lived with him for two years. Even the night we evicted "deadbeat ex roommate", the shopping at Lowe's for the locks and a new door and knowing how ugly it was going to get, four years of frustration with that loser about to boil over ... even THEN he wasn't as p*ssed off as yesterday. As Kellie stopped to have some shots and some beer and enjoy the victory, Dusty simply went and sat in the car to vent. Nothing you said or did could get him to come out of the car. Eventually, he moved the car over to make the walk for Kellie easier ... only he still didn't come out of the car. He just sat there, the anger rising. It was a true Steve style meltdown. Just obsessing over the play. He didn't even say goodbye -- he just rolled down the back window after a few minutes and yelled something like "Kellie, now!"
I personally loved it.
(It was nice for once to not be the irrational one in the group obsessing over a game.)
* Here's a true measure of how ugly it was. Normally when I leave a game early, I have to wait a while, because (a) not everybody's back yet or (b) the traffic is terrible. You can't exactly merge a huge bus into a steady stream of cars. Everyone left so early yesterday, that we were home before the game ended.
* Not only the beer tap broke yesterday, but we lost a goalpost on the drive home. Stupid dangling power lines.
* Postgame, not much to say. Sat around, drank, then headed home to watch "The Amazing Race" and drink. I had zero interest in watching the Sunday nighter. Mainly because watching the Cardinals, you just sit back and think "wait. Our head coach was their coordinator. Our defensive coordinator was their coordinator. They replace both of them after a Super Bowl appearance ... and they're better this year?" Oy.
* I am undecided on my attendance the remainder of the season. On the one hand, its a sunken cost. I'm out the $168 whether I go or not. On the other hand, I honestly don't think I can take it anymore. I hate our head coach so much, I have so little confidence in his ability to lead this team, that its not worth investing any more time or emotion at this point. Every decision only adds to the hatred, only adds to the rage I feel towards this team and this coach.
The only thing left now is to wait out the last four weeks, hope Todd Haley is fired, and a competent, qualified coach is hired to replace him. The Todd Haley Experiment is a failure. There's no other way to put it. Yesterday Todd Haley and his staff were exposed to the nation as frauds. They are incompetent. Not just Haley though, every last damned one of them should be sent packing. You don't fire the offensive coordinator two weeks before the season starts. That's a recipe for disaster. Haley did it. And this season is a disaster.
Where's the quality control guy, the Mike White of the staff, to step in and tell Todd that faking a punt with the backup QB is a retarded idea? I hate, I mean I freaking hate, the notion out there on Martin Manley's Upon Further Review site and elsewhere, that Haley is coaching aggressively to try to steal a win. Very few head coaches in this league have ever been more aggressive than Dick Vermeil. That man never met an opportunity where he didn't try to steal the situation. But he had Mike White there to reign in his excesses. Where's the Mike White on this staff? Where's the special teams coach screaming into his headset the utter stupidity of what Todd wants to try? Where's the common sense that tells you faking a punt to open the second half of a game you're only down a score in, is absolute insanity?
Bill Parcells always noted "you are what you are". These Chiefs are a direct reflection of their head coach and his playbooks. You like what you see, Kansas City? You feel proud to root for these guys? A defense that's given up 9 400+ yard games in 12 weeks? An offense that has topped 300 in yardage once this season? A team that's 1-5 at home, has given up 40 plus in back to back weeks, has given up 35 plus in half their games, and has yet to top 27 points scored. Players openly half assing it on the field, coaches unable to bring out the best in them?
I don't like what I see. I effing hate what I see.
Sorry to ramble. I needed to vent. For a better and more reasoned perspective, read Bob Gretz.
Friday, December 4, 2009
the week 13 picks
(archie voice) we ready ... we ready ... we ready ... for y'all ...
(Or at least I am. Bring it denver! Effing bring it! Oh how I live for this game …)
Last Week SU: 11-5-0
Season to Date SU: 104-72-0
Last Week ATS: 7-9-0
Season to Date ATS: 82-93-1
Last Week Upset / Week: another donkeys winner.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 6-6.
This Week's Upset / Week: take a freaking guess.
The Non-Chiefs Predictions:
* Jets (-3) 24, Bills 20, in Toronto.
* at Steelers (-14) 31, raiders 14.
* at Jaguars (pick) 21, Texans 20.
* Titans (+6 1/2) 28, at Colts 20.
* at Falcons (+5 1/2) 27, Eagles 24.
* at Bengals (-13) 45, Lions 3.
* Saints 21, at Redskins (+9) 20.
* at Panthers 7, Bucs (+6 1/2) 3.
* at Bears 31, Rams (+9) 24.
* Chargers (-13) 56, at Browns 0.
* 49ers (pick) 31, at Seahawks 20.
* Cowboys (-2 1/2) 34, at Giants 30.
* Patriots 24, at Dolphins (+6) 20.
* Vikings (-5) 34, at Cardinals 21.
* Ravens (+3) 16, at Packers 14.
The Bonus College Pick:
* Nebraska (+14) 27, Texas 23. The return to all that is good, right, and decent about college football continues in a big way. Tradition should matter. Power I should matter. Winning with class, integrity, and a suffocating defense should matter. Saturday night, it does. (And yes, I'm tempted to haul the Huskers hockey jersey out of the back of the closet for this one. Hell, I might go with the Lawrence Phillips Orange Bowl jersey from the 1994 championship season. Anything to swing the outcome. Go Big Red! Go Big Red!)
The Chiefs Prediction:
This is the part where I should deliver some inspirational, uplifting, "hell yes!" speech that inspires the masses to show up on Sunday. Its what I did for years in the picks email at (steve's former employer). Its what I did for a few years in the picks email at (steve's current employer). Its what I tend to do for home games on this site.
Only ... I'm not going to do it.
In years past for denver games, I've laid out the reasons why I hate the denver broncos. I've (big fancy word here) "regaled" you with tales of denver games past, of epic Chiefs victories. I've pointed out how many thugs denver has employed. I've noted how devoted reader and former roommate Gregg calling donkeys owner patrick j. bowlen a "classless jackass" to his face, is one of my favorite moments in life.
But … I'm not planning to do that today.
Nor am I going to blast the "bandwagon" fans who are contemplating not showing up due to the "cold", or the "Chiefs record", or the fact that its going to be "cold". Even though I really, really want to ... I'm (dana carvey voice) not gonna do it.
(OK, I lied, I am gonna do it. What the hell kind of fan uses the cold as an excuse to miss this tailgate or this game? Next week fine, its acceptable. But denver? You're gonna pussy out on the donkeys game because you're cold? I call bullsh*t. Nobody hates the cold more than me. Nobody! I start shivering if the temperature falls below 70. I'm in multiple layers as soon as the temperature hits 65. Currently at the apartment, I've turned into a grizzley bear -- I've moved the flat screen and the computer into my bedroom, which turns into a sweatshop thanks to the two space heaters I have going. It hit 94 degrees in there last night. I couldn't be happier. Wait, where was I going with this? Oh yeah. Screw the cold! Suck it up! Show up! Do your part!)
I even thought about laying out the reasons I'm showing up on Sunday ... only, that would sound like an inspirational, uplifting, "hell yes" speech. You can only tout my love of tailgating, my hatred of denver, my history of public intoxication, and my 2,093,928 (approximate) losing streak at washers to Dusty so many times before it gets to be routine.
Instead ... I'm going to do something I'm pretty sure I've never done before in a Chiefs Prediction section.
I'm going to keep it short and simple.
My four line thoughts on what will happen, courtesy of Muse.
"They will not force us!
They will stop degrading us!
They will not control us!
We will be victorious!!!"
at Chiefs (+4 1/2) 30, donkeys 21.
If you're coming Sunday, you know where we are. Hope to see you there. We'll be set up when the gates open. Grassy Lot, across from G30. Menu is chilis and soups. Plus a healthy helping of vodka, champagne, beer, bench warmers, and hot damn! Show up early. Stay late and party. Have some fun. Make Arrowhead rock like it has the last two weekends. It felt like old times in there for Pittsburgh. You couldn't have had more fun at KU / MU even if you tried. Let's keep this thing rolling. (blackstreet voice) play on playa ...
(Or at least I am. Bring it denver! Effing bring it! Oh how I live for this game …)
Last Week SU: 11-5-0
Season to Date SU: 104-72-0
Last Week ATS: 7-9-0
Season to Date ATS: 82-93-1
Last Week Upset / Week: another donkeys winner.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 6-6.
This Week's Upset / Week: take a freaking guess.
The Non-Chiefs Predictions:
* Jets (-3) 24, Bills 20, in Toronto.
* at Steelers (-14) 31, raiders 14.
* at Jaguars (pick) 21, Texans 20.
* Titans (+6 1/2) 28, at Colts 20.
* at Falcons (+5 1/2) 27, Eagles 24.
* at Bengals (-13) 45, Lions 3.
* Saints 21, at Redskins (+9) 20.
* at Panthers 7, Bucs (+6 1/2) 3.
* at Bears 31, Rams (+9) 24.
* Chargers (-13) 56, at Browns 0.
* 49ers (pick) 31, at Seahawks 20.
* Cowboys (-2 1/2) 34, at Giants 30.
* Patriots 24, at Dolphins (+6) 20.
* Vikings (-5) 34, at Cardinals 21.
* Ravens (+3) 16, at Packers 14.
The Bonus College Pick:
* Nebraska (+14) 27, Texas 23. The return to all that is good, right, and decent about college football continues in a big way. Tradition should matter. Power I should matter. Winning with class, integrity, and a suffocating defense should matter. Saturday night, it does. (And yes, I'm tempted to haul the Huskers hockey jersey out of the back of the closet for this one. Hell, I might go with the Lawrence Phillips Orange Bowl jersey from the 1994 championship season. Anything to swing the outcome. Go Big Red! Go Big Red!)
The Chiefs Prediction:
This is the part where I should deliver some inspirational, uplifting, "hell yes!" speech that inspires the masses to show up on Sunday. Its what I did for years in the picks email at (steve's former employer). Its what I did for a few years in the picks email at (steve's current employer). Its what I tend to do for home games on this site.
Only ... I'm not going to do it.
In years past for denver games, I've laid out the reasons why I hate the denver broncos. I've (big fancy word here) "regaled" you with tales of denver games past, of epic Chiefs victories. I've pointed out how many thugs denver has employed. I've noted how devoted reader and former roommate Gregg calling donkeys owner patrick j. bowlen a "classless jackass" to his face, is one of my favorite moments in life.
But … I'm not planning to do that today.
Nor am I going to blast the "bandwagon" fans who are contemplating not showing up due to the "cold", or the "Chiefs record", or the fact that its going to be "cold". Even though I really, really want to ... I'm (dana carvey voice) not gonna do it.
(OK, I lied, I am gonna do it. What the hell kind of fan uses the cold as an excuse to miss this tailgate or this game? Next week fine, its acceptable. But denver? You're gonna pussy out on the donkeys game because you're cold? I call bullsh*t. Nobody hates the cold more than me. Nobody! I start shivering if the temperature falls below 70. I'm in multiple layers as soon as the temperature hits 65. Currently at the apartment, I've turned into a grizzley bear -- I've moved the flat screen and the computer into my bedroom, which turns into a sweatshop thanks to the two space heaters I have going. It hit 94 degrees in there last night. I couldn't be happier. Wait, where was I going with this? Oh yeah. Screw the cold! Suck it up! Show up! Do your part!)
I even thought about laying out the reasons I'm showing up on Sunday ... only, that would sound like an inspirational, uplifting, "hell yes" speech. You can only tout my love of tailgating, my hatred of denver, my history of public intoxication, and my 2,093,928 (approximate) losing streak at washers to Dusty so many times before it gets to be routine.
Instead ... I'm going to do something I'm pretty sure I've never done before in a Chiefs Prediction section.
I'm going to keep it short and simple.
My four line thoughts on what will happen, courtesy of Muse.
"They will not force us!
They will stop degrading us!
They will not control us!
We will be victorious!!!"
at Chiefs (+4 1/2) 30, donkeys 21.
If you're coming Sunday, you know where we are. Hope to see you there. We'll be set up when the gates open. Grassy Lot, across from G30. Menu is chilis and soups. Plus a healthy helping of vodka, champagne, beer, bench warmers, and hot damn! Show up early. Stay late and party. Have some fun. Make Arrowhead rock like it has the last two weekends. It felt like old times in there for Pittsburgh. You couldn't have had more fun at KU / MU even if you tried. Let's keep this thing rolling. (blackstreet voice) play on playa ...
Monday, November 30, 2009
the what if game
(Note up front: this is without question the longest post I've ever written that wasn't a live blog. It was 19 pages in Microsoft Word when I was composing it. Yikes).
---------------------------
I have finally, after almost a month, and numerous late nights of reading, finished "The Book of Basketball" by the Sports Guy.
And I have to say, as one of the three original NBA die-hards in this town ... it rocks.
But my favorite chapter / section, is chapter four, the "What If's" section.
What if this had happened? What if this hadn't happened?
And so ... today's post is, Kansas City related sports "What If's"?
(Note: this post took me 5 days to write. And I only had 10 "what if's" in it. To do 33 like The Sports Guy does in his book, PLUS redefine the Hall of Fame, PLUS recount "the lost years" of the NBA, PLUS break down every MVP season in the league's history, AND to have the postlogue interview with the greatness that is Villiam Valton ... holy Lord, this book was incredible. A MUST READ for anyone who considers themselves even a casual fan of professional hoops).
10. Of all the "what ifs" about to appear, save for number one, this one intrigues me the most.
As a biased hoops observer, I can make a legitimate argument that for the first half of the decade, the Big XII was the nation's best conference. Or at the very least, the nation's most balanced conference.
From 2000-2004, Big XII teams appeared in 9 Elite 8's (out of 40 spots). They appeared in 5 Final Fours (out of 20 spots). Best of all, a stunning six difference conference teams reached the Elite 8 in that five year stretch. The ACC can brag about its big two, big three ... but no way does the ACC go six deep over a five year stretch. No way. The Big XII did. Iowa State, Oklahoma, Texas, Oklahoma State, and Kansas all made at least one Elite 8 appearance, and all but Iowa State reached at least one Final Four in this five year stretch.
The sixth team to reach an Elite 8 in that five year stretch? "What if" Number 10.
What if MU had beaten Oklahoma in the 2002 West Regional Final? (They lost by 6, 81-75).
Forgot about this golden nugget? A Missouri Tiger team that underachieved all season, somehow put together a late run to steal a 12 seed. The last at-large team in the field. This team was friggin loaded with talent. Clarence Gilbert, Kareem Rush, Rickey Paulding, Keyon Dooling. They blew through Miami (FL) and Ohio State, and survived UCLA, to reach the West Regional Final against an OU team that had just beat them two weeks earlier in the Big XII Tourney final.
That OU team had some talent too, led by Edjuardo Najera and Hollis Price. The Sooners won the Big XII tourney, scored a two seed in the West, and coasted (as they should) to two easy victories. Then they blew out a damned good Arizona team in the Sweet 16 to set up the all-Big XII regional final.
OU wound up winning the rubber match (MU won the regular season battle) by a few points.
But what if MU had won? A bucket here, a bucket there ... what if MU had won?
What we do know is this -- both head coaches were gone within three years of this game. And neither one left with his dignity intact. Both left amid NCAA investigations, rumors of "lack of institutional control", and neither coach will be running a D1 team again in my lifetime. Stunning given how the first few years of the decade played out.
But what if MU had won this game? Would Quin Snyder have felt as compelled as he did to recruit questionable character guys in an attempt to win big? Would Ricky Clemons have ever stepped foot on the MU campus? Remember, MU didn't fall apart overnight. With the core still intact, MU won the Big XII Tourney, scored a six seed, and took eventual Final Four participant Marquette to overtime before falling in the second round in 2003. They opened the 2004 season ranked in the top three. If MU makes the Final Four in 2002, does Quin get a "do-over" for that 2004 season that collapsed under the weight of expectations? Certainly reaching the 2002 Final Four bought Mike Davis an extra year (or two) at Indiana he probably didn't deserve. Would the school's first Final Four head coach have been shown the door as quickly as Quin was when the program started collapsing? Or would he have been given greater leeway?
(My guess? Yes, he would have been given at least one more season than he wound up getting. Although I still think Quin would have recruited and signed Ricky Clemons. Because he was a sleazy coach like that, and sleaze attracts, uuh, sleaze).
And if MU makes that Final Four, how does the perception of the program change? Its not like MU was a pushover the previous couple decades. Norm Stewart usually had a tourney-bound, solid squad to field. But they never reached the Final Four. The glass ceiling was the Elite 8. Norm coached for what, 25, 30 years? And never cracked the glass ceiling. He came close a few times, with some loaded teams in the late 80s, and the perfect run through the Big 8 in 1994 that ended in the Elite 8 against Arizona.
Quin was only in his 3rd season ... and already hit the glass ceiling. If he breaks it, against a conference rival to boot? If Quin can walk in off the street, pick up the pieces of a torn MU program entering the decade (remember, half the fanbase wanted Norm kicked to the curb, the other half was scared they couldn't do better, so were angry at even trying to replace Norm), if he walks in and within three years, posts three NCAA appearances, and a Final Four berth? To put that in perspective, the rebuild Roy did at KU was amazing. (Don't worry ... Roy's departure sorta, kinda, arrives on this countdown later).
Taking over a team on probation, losing every decent player, and having to follow up a national championship head coach? Roy had KU in the Final Four in his third season. If MU wins this game against OU, then Quin Snyder matches the job Roy did. (And I'd argue tops it; KU can recruit based on its name. MU has to recruit based on the person doing the recruiting). Would Quin have become as beloved by the fanbase as Roy was (and in some corners, still is)? Does Quin earn a Roy-like unquestioned status amongst the Tiger faithful?
(I say no; the self-destructive nature in Quin wouldn't allow it. But it is interesting to contemplate).
MU was literally just a bucket here or a free throw there away from the greatest win in program history. And yet you can argue that winning that game would have HURT MU more than losing it did. Because winning that game likely buys Quin more time to self-destruct, likely buys Quin at least 30% of the fanbase who will follow him with unquestioned loyalty because "he did more than any other coach here ever has", and most importantly, when the firing axe finally comes down on Quin ... likely sees Mike Anderson already having left UAB for another program. I argued seven years ago, at the time, that it was the "most crushing defeat in MU history, greater than Tyus Edney's layup, worse than Matt Davison's kick, this was the stomach punch". In hindsight, I couldn't have been more wrong ...
9. Flash back to 1995. MU was coming off an unbeaten Big 8 season that ended in the Elite 8 in hoops, and Oklahoma State reached the Final Four in Seattle that year. Nebraska was on its way to a second straight national championship, and both Kansas and Kansas State fielded top 10 programs that fall. Things were looking good for the conference, and about to look better.
Because the Southwest Conference and the Big 8 were negotiating for a merger.
However, only four Southwest Conference teams were going to join the new conference.
Two of the picks were obvious. You had to take Texas, and you had to take Texas A&M. Texas Tech also made perfect sense to bring along.
Which left one spot to fill.
And leads me into "What If" Number 9.
What if the Big XII had selected TCU instead of Baylor?
I was a freshman at TCU in 1995, and somehow I conned those folks into giving me a degree when my four years were up, so maybe I'm slightly biased here. But to this day, I don't get why the Big XII went with Baylor over TCU.
(Actually, I do -- former Texas governor Ma Richards, who was given way too big a platform in working for the Southwest Conference on this merge, basically threatened to walk out on the merger if her alma mater wasn't taken. Which then, of course, raises the question, why Texas Tech instead of TCU? Anyways).
TCU offered you four things right off the bat Baylor did not:
* a relevant football program.
* a relevant basketball program.
* a campus where being a college kid was smiled upon, not legislated against.
* a school in the sixth largest media market in America.
The first point is kind of moot -- Pat Sullivan was quickly running the program into the ground, culminating in that "classic" 13-10 victory over SMU to end the 1997 season at ... 1-11. (And yes, I was there for every excruciating second of that "classic"). But after Pat was shown the door that winter, TCU hired Dennis Franchione, and then Gary Patterson, and hasn't missed a bowl since.
The second point is also kind of moot -- Billy Tubbs had the program on the rise, even scored a 4 seed in the NCAA Tournament in 1997. But once Tubbs left, the program fell back into dormancy.
The third point, you better believe that matters. Its why I chose TCU over Baylor. Seriously, if you can't spend your college years drinking ridiculous amounts of alcohol, inhaling ridiculous amounts of weed, and rolling over at least a couple times a semester and thinking "what the hell is her name again", then you need to find a better college. Baylor legislates against the fun in life. Boo Baylor. Boo.
(And yet, one of my best buddies went to Baylor, had more fun than a human being should be allowed to have, despite the attempted restrictions, and swears it was the best 5 years of his life. So what do I know).
But in all seriousness, its the final point that matters. Why in the hell did the Big XII walk away from having a school in the Dallas media market?
Even if you argue that school should have been SMU (and that's a legitimate argument in its own right, especially given their academic reputation and the Hunt Family money), why in the hell did the Big XII walk away from having a school in the Dallas media market?
The conference is headquartered in Dallas. They stage the conference tournament there every couple years, and the new Cowboys Stadium will host the Big XII Title Game this fall. So again, the question of the day, is why in the hell did the Big XII walk away from having a school in the Dallas media market?
You look at every other Power Six conference. Even if the school sucks ass, they ALL have at least one team in a top 30 media market --
* Big East: St. Johns (NYC), Villanova (Philly), DePaul (Chicago)
* ACC: Georgia Tech (Atlanta), Miami (Miami)
* SEC: Georgia (Atlanta)
* Big Ten: Northwestern (Chicago)
* Pac 10: UCLA, USC (Los Angeles); Cal, Stanford (Bay Area), Washington (Seattle), Arizona State (Phoenix)
The closest a Big XII school comes to playing in a top 30 media market is Kansas, a 30 minute drive from Kansas City. That, or if traffic on K10 is backed up, you could point out that A&M is 45 minutes from Houston. But either way, that's not good. When it was the Big 8, this was fine. It was a localized conference, with loyal fans devoted to this section of the country. But once you expand to basically spread the conference across the Midwest, from Canada to Mexico, from the Rockies to the Mississippi, don't you need a major media market presence?
(Yes. Yes, you do).
That's why not picking TCU (or SMU) made no sense then. It makes even less sense now, as individual conferences are forming their own networks, are signing exclusive TV contracts. They can do it, because they have a built in major media market into their conference. The Big XII doesn't have a school within 30 minutes of a top 30 market other than Kansas. And having the 27th largest Nielsen market with quad-divided loyalty (between KU, KSU, MU and Nebraska) is nowhere near as important as having an actual member in the 6th largest media market.
8. The funnest year of the decade, for me, was 2003.
KU Football awoke from its usual doormat status, and somehow reached a bowl for the first time since my freshman year in college. The Chiefs opened 9-0, en route to their first divisional title and playoff berth in 6 years.
And the Royals ... well ... "What If" Number 8.
What if the 2003 Royals had held on to win the AL Central?
The Royals opened 9-0, and sat at a ridiculous 17-4 entering May.
And then, the slide began.
And kept going.
And kept going.
Until June 2nd, when the Royals sat at 32-32 entering the first game in Colorado. And we got pounded.
Only ... the game wasn't completed thanks to a rainstorm. Nothing counted.
The Royals rallied, swept the doubleheader, and treaded water for a couple weeks until Fathers Day 2003, arguably my favorite game of the decade. Me, my dad, my brother, and my buddy James went to this one, and sat in old left field GA. I remember this day for five reasons:
1. It was so ridiculously hot, that I didn't even bother to bring a t-shirt in with me. Usually I at least do that. Even if it doesn't stay on for long.
2. They had some overnight campout deal on the field the night before, so the groundscrew was still cleaning up crap barely 30 minutes before first pitch.
3. Jose Lima's first start! I remember asking my dad "What do you want out of him today", and his response was "Less Runs than Innings Pitched". Yeah, you know you've signed a keeper when you're hoping for an ERA somewhere around 9.
4. Barry Bonds' 6th inning home run off Lima. It literally hit the roof of the old right field GA concession stand on the fly. Its the sweetest home run I've ever seen to this day.
5. Mike Sweeney's 0-2 rocket to the left field gap to score Joe Randa to win 5-4.
The Royals took off from that point, moving from a .500 team to a team 7 1/2 games up at the All Star Break. They still led by 3 games entering mid August, when the eventual champion Twins came to town, and took two of three over one of the best weekends of the summer, the "Double Header" Saturday with Royals / Twins and Chiefs / Vikings, and the "Rob and Rany Day at the K" Sunday. (Anytime you can sit in 105 degree heat with two baseball writers like Rob and Rany, you have to do it. Even if the beer you're drinking is literally being sweated out as soon as it goes in).
The last gasp of that Royals team was probably in mid September. In a virtual tie with the Twins and White Sox with 3 weeks to go, they hosted the Diamondbacks in a make-up game. Trailing 3-2 entering the bottom of the 9th, Carlos Beltran led off with a walk.
Then stole second.
Then stole third.
And scored on a sacrifice fly.
Joe Posnanski wrote a great article on this game, and specifically on this play. Of all the amazing things the 2003 season gave us, that play stays burned in my mind, even more so than Tito climbing the fence to haul in a Seattle home run ball. Even more than Ken Harvey's homer to extend the streak to 9-0. Even more than Jimmy Gobble's debut start when he overpowered the Rays in a 2-0 shutout. Even more than Sweeney's Father's Day hit, than the hope that trading for Brian Anderson and Rondell White brought, even more Runelvys Hernandez literally destroying his season and his career by tossing 105 pitches in the ridiculous July heat with a torn rotator cuff to help beat Seattle right after the All Star break.
(As another note: I also remember this season so well for three other reasons:
a. Gregg and I had DirecTV ... which didn't have the failed experiment known as RSTN. So we had to "watch" every game by literally listening to the radio. I always thought that was cool. It was like being back as a 12, 13 year old again, back in the awesome pennant race of 1989, listening on radio to every play.
b. Between Gregg, Jasson, James, my brother, PJ, Chris, Anthony, and work folks, I pretty much went to every game from mid June on. Like being back in college, when the 1998 Rangers pennant run became "emergency expenses" on my dad's credit card for me, Frank, and Mike.
c. This season convinced me and Gregg to buy full season tickets in 2004. Arguably the single biggest mistake of my adult sports fan life. Cleaning out the kitchen before moving out a couple years later, I came across the season ticket book from 2004. The last game either one of us went to? July 26th. Two unused months of tickets. Why you don't buy full season MLB tickets 101 ...)
There were so many ridiculous, amazing moments that summer, that you have to think "What would have happened if the Royals had held on"?
Well ...
My guess is, we'd have lost in 4 at the most to the Yankees. And yet, we had the Yankees number that year, taking 4 of 6, 2 of 3 in each stadium. So who knows? But the bigger point is ...
What would have happened that offseason?
If you break through and win the division, do you then gamble on reclamation projects like Juan Gonzalez and Benito Santiago? Or, as defending division champs with the playoff revenue stream to play with, do you go out and sign legitimate options, like resigning Rondell White?
Or better yet, as defending divisional champs, do you take that added revenue, walk into Scott Boras' office, and lay out the plan for the next 4-5 years as a playoff contender, and offer Carlos Beltran a legitimate, above-board, fair market offer that he at least has to consider signing?
Of course, the Royals didn't win the Central. Beltran was gone within three months of the 2004 season starting, for two serviceable major leaguers (Teahan, Buck), and one pitching flameout (Blake Wood). Gonzalez and Santiago were signed, and promptly bombed. Brian Anderson couldn't locate the strike zone, Jose Lima proved to be a one season fluke, and Mike MacDougal flamed out spectacularly. To say nothing of Angel Berroa aging 55 years overnight.
But for one magical season, it was all right there for the taking. If only the Royals had grabbed it.
7. As most of you who read this site on a regular basis ... or just know me period ... as you are well aware, there is one professional sports team I hate with a f*cking passion. The denver broncos.
I hate them for a lot of reasons. I'm sure some of them are listed elsewhere on this site. I'm sure many more will be posted this week since it is, after all, donkeys week 2009.
But there's one game that stands out to me, and its number seven on the "What If" list.
What if the 2002 Chiefs don't lose to denver in week 7?
Not the one you were expecting, huh? I think most people assumed I was referencing the playoff defeat on my 21st birthday to elway at Arrowhead, a game I (sadly) correctly predicted beforehand that the winner would win the Lombardi Trophy.
No, I'm not reliving that one, partly out of painful memory, but mostly because the better team won. Now excuse me while I go find the HHH Memorial Sledgehammer and beat myself senseless with it over admitting that painful fact.
(steve taking a few minutes to deal with painful loss ...)
(And while dealing with said loss ... that statement is absolute fact. denver was the better team. They dominated both regular season games we played, blowing us out at Real Mile High, and losing on a 54 yard wounded duck of a field goal as time expired, in a game in which the Dick Gannon led Chiefs failed to gain 200 yards of offense. Even the playoff game, denver statistically dominated. Gotta tip the cap to a great team when you see one. Even if they did cheat by circumventing the salary cap to make it happen).
OK, and we're back. The denver game that drives me bonkers, is that 2002 defeat. There is simply no conceivable way we should have lost that game. The Chiefs dominated the stats. They led from (literally) the opening seconds of the game. They were up double digits nearly the entire way. They led 34-27 with 3:52 to go, facing a 4th and 1 at the denver 25.
And in that moment, is the madness, the utter frustration, the insanity, that defined my hatred of Dick Vermeil. The Chiefs defense in 2002 was atrocious. Statistically, it is the worst in NFL history. It even earned its own nickname, the "32 Defense", in honor of its ranking in virtually every measurable statistic. Here you are, 4th and 1, a little under 4 minutes to go. You get the first down, and its ballgame for all intents and purposes. (denver used its final timeout to stop the clock after 3rd down). We had Priest Holmes. Running behind John Tait, Willie Roaf, Will Shields, Casey Weigmann, and Brian Waters. With Tony Richardson blocking. You mean to tell me we can't get a f*cking yard in that spot?
If you convert there, you bleed a MINIMUM of another 1:50 off the clock, down to the two minute warning. That is the ONLY time left that denver could have stopped the clock. What makes more sense to you. What sounds like the smarter, safer, more common sense call to you: try a 43 yard field goal with a 40 plus year old kicker whose range was 40 yards ... or pound Priest Holmes behind that line, with Richardson as well, for 36 inches. What sounds more logical to you?
(Run the damned ball!)
And even if you don't convert the first down ... ok, then what? denver ball at their own 25, instead of at their own 33 after the field goal miss? What difference does 8 yards in starting field position make at that point?
(Run the damned ball!)
Go figure, Vermeil tried the field goal. Go figure, it wasn't even close to being good. (Funny historical note: even the nfl.com Game Recap Play by Play notes that the field goal try was "short". SHORT! From 43 yards out! Just like every damned person in that stadium save for Dick Vermeil knew it would be! Again, why didn't we run the f*cking football!)
Everyone there that sunny October afternoon knows what happened next. denver drove and scored with seconds to spare to force overtime. They won the coin toss. Somehow the Chiefs defense held, but when our offense stalled at midfield, the donkeys blocked the punt, then elam nailed a 26 yard field goal a couple plays later. 37-34 denver.
This loss ... to say it adversely affected me, is an understatement. I didn't make it into work until Wednesday. Let's just say there were a lot of empty liquor bottles in the trash that week. That loss to me, was what the number one "what if" on this list was to Gregg.
(Note: this was during my 6, 7 month period after my unfortunate drinking and driving arrest when, on the strong advise of friends and family, I attempted to quit drinking. Emphasis on the word "attempted". Let's just say, between my genes, my love of vodka, and this defeat, that the liquor bottles started appearing again on a nightly basis in the fridge. Thank you Dick Vermeil! Just kidding, Dick. I don't blame you. For this, anyways.)
(Another note: in case you didn't know beforehand, or didn't just figure it out from the previous couple paragraphs ... you now know why I hate Dick Vermeil with a freaking passion. One decision, in one relatively meaningless regular season game, from 8 years ago, and I refuse to let go. A simple 4th and 1, and I still can't let go. Against any other opponent, I'd probably let it slide after a few cold ones. When it costs us a win against my most hated team, and costs us a playoff berth, I don't let it go. I let it simmer. Until it boils over. Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah).
If the Chiefs win that game, we know the following would have happened:
* The Chiefs would have been the last team in, at 9-7. (The Chiefs had tiebreaker over Cleveland due to head-to-head victory).
* They would have opened at Pittsburgh in the early Sunday slot.
* They would have been the scariest 6 seed in NFL history (up to that point in time).
The Chiefs could score at will, on anybody. They topped 20 points an astonishing 13 times. They topped 30 points a jaw dropping 8 times. They topped 40 points an absolutely logic-defying 4 times. The Steelers were led by a surprisingly effective Tommy Maddux. You mean to tell me the Chiefs can't win a shootout with those guys? The Chiefs had already dropped 40 on Cleveland (actual playoff team), 38 on the defending champion Patriots, 48 on a 9-7 Dolphins team that missed the playoffs on tiebreakers, 34 on a decent Chargers team, and 30 plus on denver twice. Plus the icing on the cake, a 49 point outburst against the defending NFC Champion Rams. The only thing that ever stopped the Chiefs offense that season was the monsoon in Oakland to end the season.
I'm not saying that Chiefs team would have done anything once they got to the playoffs. But it was set up. A shootout at Pittsburgh, last team with the ball wins. A complete contrast in styles in Nashville against the Titans in the second round. And then a potential AFC West showdown for the Lamar Hunt Trophy out in the Bay Area with Sur William Callahan's raiders. Sadly, because of Dick Vermeil's stupid, retarded decision to not go for the jugular and the win, and instead play it safe, we'll never know.
Hey, speaking of dumb decisions by folks making decisions in Jackson County, let's move on to one of the dumbest in recorded human history, by the assclown that currently represents me in Congress ...
6. Flash back to spring of 1997. The Chiefs were coming off their first playoff-less season of the decade. (Keep reading -- that "what if" is coming up). The Royals were well on their way to reinventing their franchise from "model everyone looks up to", to ("major league" groundskeepers voice) "these guys are sh*tty!" status. KU basketball was coming off a 34-1 regular season, only to collapse in the Sweet 16 against Arizona.
And in Fort Worth Texas, this hot-as-hell 20 year old did the unthinkable.
I went to my first NASCAR race, the debut race at TMS.
I had a few buddies who had tickets, they had an extra, so I went along. I had never been to a Cup race before. I have always loved open wheel racing. I was never a fan of NASCAR before this because (a) their cars weren't as neat, (b) their cars weren't as fast, and (c) their fanbase scared the sh*t out of me.
Still, I'm willing to try anything once for the most part, so on a bright hot sunny Sunday in late April, it was off for my first Cup experience.
And I loved every effing second of it.
From the second you pull into the grass lots, see 200,000 plus people, all flying flags, drinkin' beer, tossing washers, blaring the stereo, well, that's my kind of people! That's me at Arrowhead! And not only are you close to the action, they let you bring your own booze in? Are you kidding me? How much sweeter can it get? And once the race started, turn one, lap one, this 24 car went flying into the wall, and the place just erupted. I had no idea then who was in said 24 car painted like a friggin rainbow, but I knew this much -- if 200,000 plus people hate someone that much, and express their hatred so openly, I want in on the fun!
I say this, because that spring, the governing body of NASCAR decided it was time to build a track in the Midwest. They approached KCMO's "honorable" mayor at the time, the Rev. Emanuel Cleaver, and his braintrust with a proposition: if Kansas City, Missouri and/or Jackson County would build a track in eastern Jackson County, they would guarantee a yearly Cup race starting in 2001.
And Cleaver passed. Meanwhile, across the state line, the single smartest leader this region has had in three decades, the awesome Carol Marinovich, immediately stepped in and agreed to spend the STAR bonds on the project.
The KC region has never been the same since.
So "What If" number six is, what if Mayor Cleaver agrees to build the track in eastern Jackson County?
To be fair to Mr. Cleaver, the area that NASCAR was targeting was the corner of 470 and "The Dred" (aka I-70). Growth slowly yet surely has happened there on its own, with a decent shopping complex arising on the east side, a new indoor arena arising on the north side, and Bass Pro Shops going in on the west side. But that development is nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to what Mayor Marinovich wound up with.
Mayor Cleaver's decision to punt on the new track, screwed Jackson County's taxrolls from here to eternity. (Or at least until a new track needs to be built in what, 50 years? 60 years? These things tend to last for awhile). The Legends development that literally saved Wyandotte County as a viable place to live, would instead be in Missouri. The tourism that KCK attracts two (and soon to be three) race weekends every year, would be on the Missouri side. All the tax benefits, from merchandise sales, hotel fees, liquor sales, you name it, would be in KCMO's coffers. Not KCK's. That Power and Light District, the Sprint Centre, the downtown redevelopment that is literally hemorraging money? Wouldn't be such an issue.
And maybe, just maybe, with that one bold stroke of leadership, of seeing the future (aka the expansion of motorsports from a southern curiousity to mainstream popularity), the current debacle down the street from me would be seeing the Wizards stadium being erected, instead of being a hole in the ground, because developers could rest assured that the city had a rock solid track record of seeing development through to the finish.
Instead, its all KCK's gain. All because Manny Cleaver decided ... what, exactly? Was worth spending the bond money on? He really did nothing in his tenure except flush money down the toilet known as Kemper Arena on stupid renovations that everyone knew wasn't enough to keep the NCAA and the Big XII here. Needless to say, Manny Cleaver is not one of my favorite people. Yet somehow, we keep electing this idiot every two years to represent us in Washington. It's truly mind boggling.
But not as mind boggling as Manny Cleaver punting on NASCAR. KCK's public officials are still laughing their ass off over that decision ...
5. Of course, giving Manny Cleaver a run for his money in the "single most retarded decision of my lifetime" category, is former Kansas football head coach Terry Allen. Which is the number five "What If".
What if Terry Allen wasn't mentally challenged, and had offered Darren Sproles the scholarship he so desperately wanted?
I'm not spending a lot of time on this. The entire Terry Allen era should just be purged from the history books, it was that bad. Six inept years of football. 0-6 vs KSU. 0-6 vs Nebraska. 1-5 vs Missouri. Trust me, I sat through most of it. I was "privileged" to witness a 63-0 homecoming defeat to KSU that pretty much led to near riot-like conditions in Memorial Stadium. (And yet somehow, Allen kept his job for another year and a half after this abortion of a performance! How! How do you lose by 9 touchdowns to a hated rival, AT HOME, and keep your job for another 16 months? Amazing. Who says Bob Frederick didn't care about any sport other than basketball!)
But the biggest sin of them all ... Terry Allen decided he didn't want Darren Sproles.
Sproles, of course, signed with K State instead. Three Big XII Title Games and a Big XII championship later, I'd say Bill Snyder made the right call to offer the kid from Olathe a scholarship.
But never forget, Sproles wanted to play at Kansas. And Terry Allen said no.
On second thought, Sproles might have saved Terry Allen's job. Probably best to just move on from this one before contemplating that possibility makes me want to bash my head into the wall.
4. Speaking of great "What Ifs" in Kansas history ...
What if Mikey Lee's desperation three as time expired went in, instead of being blocked by Hakim Warrick, in the 2003 National Championship game?
Let me say up front, I think Roy was leaving no matter what. Which is why I picked this one as the KU hoops "What If".
Because if Mikey Lee's shot goes in, if somehow KU rallies from down 20 plus to force overtime, and goes on to win that game (which given the way momentum was going, would have happened), if that shot goes in, does anyone at KU hold nearly the level of hatred towards Roy that wound up occurring?
If that shot goes in, doesn't Roy accomplish in his 14 years at the school EVERYTHING he set out to do? Restore the program to national prominence. (check). Do it in a respectable, NCAA compliant manner. (check). Regularly win conference titles. (check). Regularly score top 4 seeds in the tournament. (check). Never lose in the first round, go a perfect 13 for 13. (check).
Five Final Fours in 14 years. (check). Two national title game appearances. (check).
And if that shot goes in ...
Win a national championship.
(check).
If all that occurs, and THEN Roy leaves, does anyone fault him? Does anyone blame him? Do we still get the "I don't give a sh*t about North Carolina" comment he delivered to Erin Andrews? (God I hope so).
Does the "inferiority complex", for lack of a better way to put it, that set in after the two straight first round defeats a few years later, as UNC goes on to give Roy his first national title, does that set in? Or instead, does KU fan revel in Roy achieving his sport's greatest achievement?
Or the famous showdown, throwdown, (don fambrough voice) hoe-down in 2008, the KU / UNC national semifinal, is that nearly the hate-fest, the pure adrenaline rush, that it wound up becoming? Or would it be like when KU would face UNC in the Roy era, the "we're just here to enjoy watching a couple Kansas guys go at it" feeling that was there when Roy faced off against Dean?
Guess we'll never know.
(For what its worth ... I think KU fans would still be agitated, but Roy would be held in much higher esteem than he is. To his eternal credit, the pure class Roy showed after that 2008 defeat, showing up for the national title game and basically telling his employer and his clothing sponsors "screw it, I'm wearing a Jayhawk that is visible for the world to see", that moment won him back into my good graces. Seeing the pure joy and happiness he felt when KU won that game, erased 5 years of hatred for me. But if Mikey Lee's shot goes in, do I ever feel the hatred and anger? Honestly? Probably not. You have to go where your heart is. As an adopted Texan that wants to move back, I get why Roy left. I just think it would have been much less messy if that Lee shot falls).
3. Well, I guess at some point we have to deal with THE Chiefs quarterback controversy of the 1990s. So let's haul out the "What If" wheel for number three.
What if ...
Rich Gannon ...
never replaced ...
Steve Bono with four games to play in 1996.
Ha! Gotcha! Again, I'm guessing everyone expected this to be the Gannon / Grbac debate of 1997 and 1998 (and beyond).
Uuh, no.
Because if THIS QB debate doesn't happen, the other one doesn't.
To recap: the 1996 Chiefs are 8-4 following a humiliating home loss to the Chargers. The offense laid the proverbial lingering fart that day. The final was 28-14 but it wasn't even remotely that close (the Chiefs got two garbage time touchdowns).
However, at 8-4, still solidly in line for a wildcard berth, and still only a game behind denver in the division ... Marty decided it was time for a change at quarterback. Steve Bono was benched for the Thanksgiving game at Detroit.
Rich Gannon was installed as the starter.
For me, the move "paid off" -- I bet my dad $200 worth of Christmas presents that the Chiefs would miss the playoffs. I had zero doubt this move would blow up in our face. And it did, as Dick Gannon beat Detroit, but got blown out in oakland, then left the Colts game (that ultimately decided the final AFC wildcard berth) with an injury. Left with no choice, Marty turned back to Bono ... only Bono (somewhat) defensibly had quit on the team, and it showed, as the Chiefs choked away the Colts game, and got ass-whipped in Buffalo to end the season at 9-7 and out of the playoffs.
So what if Bono had never been yanked?
For starters, I believe the Chiefs at least would have made the playoffs. Bono would have won in Detroit (like Gannon did), and he would have beaten oakland to get us in at 10-6 at the worst. Not sure the Chiefs would have done anything once they got there (would have likely opened at Pittsburgh against the defending AFC Champs), but then again, the entire 1996 postseason was upside-down wacky. (The 6th seeded, second year Jaguars reached the AFC Title Game; the second year Panthers reached the NFC Title Game; the Dallas and Buffalo dynasties in essence died in quick eliminations).
But more to the point -- do the Chiefs go out and target Elvis Grbac in free agency?
If Gannon doesn't play, he remains the unknown. As it was, because he took the field, Marty and Carl had zero faith in either Bono (about to retire) or Gannon as the QB option. So we signed Grbac to man the team.
If Bono stays in, do we trust Gannon from day one in 1997 and avoid Grbac altogether? And instead spend the free agent / salary cap money to keep Neil Smith and/or Mark Collins?
(My guess? We still target a QB in free agency, but its not priority one. Priority one becomes retaining Neil Smith, then we go out and sign a competent veteran. Someone like Doug Flutie (who Buffalo signed) or Vinny Testaverde (who the Jets signed) or even try to coax one more year out of Bono, and let them battle Gannon for the job in camp. But again, that's just a guess).
(Also, for what its worth ... I argued all offseason that Marty should be fired for the collapse, and his handling of the QB situation. To use a historical analogy here, the switch from Bono to Gannon, was Marty's March on Moscow. Just like the Russian Invasion ultimately defeated Napoleon, even though it took three more years for it to finally end at Waterloo, this was Marty's March on Moscow. From this point on, it was only a matter of time until the end arrived. I'd say Marty's Waterloo was the Monday Night Meltdown, but I think every Chiefs fan already knew that).
2. Aah, the final two.
OK, really, just number two -- number one on the "What If" list I have argued for a decade and counting, and will attempt to coherently lay out in a few more paragraphs.
But number two ... well, it was tough to pick.
Among the moments I considered:
* What if the Strike of 1994 was settled in time to finish a legitimate season?
* What if Aaron Miles doesn't foul out to start overtime against Georgia Tech in the 2004 Elite 8?
* What if Todd Reesing leads a final scoring drive to force overtime against Missouri in 2007?
* What if John Mackovic wasn't fired after the 1986 season?
* What if KSU doesn't blow a 17 point lead to Texas A&M in the 1998 Big XII Title Game?
But number two, quite honestly, is what killed college football as it existed for people my age in these parts.
What if Matt Davison's reception of the kicked pass against Missouri in 1997 falls incomplete?
(Or, more accurately, what if the officiating crew in Columbia that day had ruled that as an illegal forward pass?)
It was a fourth and goal play, Missouri up 31-24 against an undefeated number one ranked Nebraska team. The pass, of course, helped Nebraska survive the upstart Tigers, and win a 3rd national title in four years.
But what if the pass falls incomplete? What if the refs make the right call?
We know two things that would have happened if that had occurred:
1. An undefeated Michigan team wins an undisputed national championship.
2. The 1998 Cornhuskers would still have struggled, given the departing talent and the rise of Kansas State.
What we don't know ... is who would have coached Nebraska in 1998.
Would Dr. Tom have returned without that final championship? Would Frank Solich have ever ascended to the throne? And even if he had ... would Solich have been given a far more lenient grace period than he got if he doesn't replace a coach coming off a national championship, and three in four years?
Even more to the point, if Solich gets said grace period ... does the "Surrender" Steve Pederson era occur?
(Note: I'm not going to argue "Sur" William Callahan was a great coach. He's not. But Bill Callahan is a decent coach that can win in the right situation. Sorry, but you don't make a Super Bowl as a head coach unless you have some competence. Ditto make a Big XII Title game -- sorry Hawks Fans, but even "Sur" William made one. Pinkle's made two. Gary Barnett made three. Mangino's made zero. Remember that when he's fired this week.
"Surrender" Steve, on the other hand, might be the single biggest asshole to run an athletic department in this decade. Even bigger than you, Lew Perkins. You've whizzed on every tradition and everything good and decent about Hawks athletics, but at least your teams win. "Surrender" Steve never had that going for him. Well, until Jamie Dixon (who he didn't hire) and Dave Wannstedt (who he didn't hire) made his new job at Pitt respectable. Someday, someone needs to write a book on just how piss poor a job "Surrender" Steve did in Lincoln. You could write like 9,000 pages, and STILL have another 9,000 pages of material to cite, let alone comment about. Wait, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, the destruction of Nebraska football thanks to the golden toe reception by Matt Davison).
I argued in "What If" number 10 that MU not winning in the Elite 8 against OU was the best thing that could have happened. A victory in that spot would have been far worse than the defeat was in the hindsight of history. Well, conversely, can't you argue in the hindsight of history that Davison's kicked pass reception was the worst thing to happen to Nebraska football in 12 years? (Save for "Surrender" Steve Pederson, of course. Again, there are not enough words that can possibly be thought, let alone written, by mankind to describe the abortion that his reign of error at Nebraska was).
If Davison doesn't catch that pass, if the refs rule it an illegal forward pass, if anything happens to alter that ... well, that's one for the What If's Hall of Fame.
(For what its worth: I still think Dr. Tom retires after that 1997 season. But Solich definitely gets a greater grace period. I also don't think Osborne goes into politics, he stays closer to the program. And the entire "Surrender" Steve era is avoided. Thankfully, Bo Pelini and Dr. Tom are restoring Nebraska to what it used to be. And I mean that word, "thankfully". Nebraska football as we knew it prior to the "Surrender" Steve years is everything every single football program in America should aspire to be. Welcome back, Black Shirts. Welcome back, Power I. Welcome back, having a Big Kid on the Block to knock off ...)
Which leads us to number one ...
1. What if Dick Gannon doesn't get a fifth down against the Chiefs in the Y2K bowl?
I don't even know where to begin on this one.
Its always been my greatest "What If", pretty much since the day it happened. (January 2, 2000).
Chiefs lead 38-31, just about two minutes to go. The raiders have a 3rd and 17 at the Chiefs 31. There is an illegal formation penalty on oakland that is DECLINDED by Kansas City AFTER the raiders run a 3rd down play. It should have been 4th and 17. Instead, the refs allow oakland to replay the down. Incomplete. Now it is 5th and 17 ... only the refs are treating it as 4th and 17. And go figure, Dick Gannon hits tim brown in the end zone. Tie game.
If the Chiefs win this game, as they should have after the 4th down incompletion, we know the following three things would have happened:
1. The Chiefs win the AFC West at 10-6.
2. We would have hosted Miami in the late Sunday timeslot.
3. We would have DESTROYED the Dolphins, who lost 5 of 6 to "qualify" for the playoffs, needed overtime to beat a Seahawks team that also lost 5 of 6 to "qualify" for the playoffs, then lost 66-3 to Jacksonville in the divisional round (still the largest postseason margin of defeat ever).
So ... based on this, let's play one more scenario out, ok? Since its the "What If" column, after all.
(That, and if you're still reading, you're gonna love where I'm going with this, I think).
Assuming all else stays the same (aka, same playoff games, matchups, outcomes occur, save for Chiefs), the Titans go into Jacksonville and beat the Jaguars. The Chiefs go into Indy, to face the Jim Mora Curse against a team we should have beaten in the regular season (we lost 28-23 on a late touchdown). Again, following the logic that assumption claims to be, give the Chiefs a win somehow in this spot against the snakebitten Mora. (Tennessee won in this spot 20-17 before rolling Jacksonville the next week).
That sets up your AFC Title Game on Sunday, January 23, 2000. Tennessee Titans at Kansas City Chiefs.
My ultimate dream come true. The Chiefs, at home, playing to reach the Super Bowl.
But even better ... anyone remember what the weather was like that Sunday?
I know, its a decade ago. Tough to recall. I'll give you a few minutes to Google the results, or search the deep archives of your brain to recall.
(playing "Jeopardy" music ...)
Time.
Cold. Bitterly cold, in the high 20s in actual temp but low single digits for the windchill. Oh, and it was sleeting, snowing, and generally miserable. How do I know this like it happened yesterday?
Because of what would NOT have happened if the Chiefs were playing at home that day to advance to the Super Bowl.
Derrick Thomas doesn't get behind the wheel of his SUV on the way to the airport, and wreck out on a sheet of ice, and ultimately pass away a couple weeks later after being paralyzed from the neck down.
You want to argue about crushing defeats, gut-punch losses? What's bigger than the Y2K Bowl? If the Chiefs win that game, you can LEGITIMATELY argue they not only host the AFC Title Game, not only potentially reach the Super Bowl to face our cross-state rivals that we've pole-axed three straight regular season meetings and counting (including the following season, dropping 54 on them at Arrowhead) ... "The Franchise" is still alive today.
I'm not gonna lie -- since this is my number one "What If" in sports, I've thought about this a lot. It pains me still (obviously).
So, the Final "What If". What if the Chiefs win that game, the Y2K bowl? The Chiefs win the division. They likely host the AFC Title game. Derrick Thomas likely lives to play at least one more season, and hopefully (finally) reach the Super Bowl, the "achievement" he never had that probably cost him four years of Hall of Fame eligibility.
And the other great "What If" of the 1999 season never has to be answered. What If Carl realized Gun was in over his head, and pulled the plug after year one ...
---------------------------
I have finally, after almost a month, and numerous late nights of reading, finished "The Book of Basketball" by the Sports Guy.
And I have to say, as one of the three original NBA die-hards in this town ... it rocks.
But my favorite chapter / section, is chapter four, the "What If's" section.
What if this had happened? What if this hadn't happened?
And so ... today's post is, Kansas City related sports "What If's"?
(Note: this post took me 5 days to write. And I only had 10 "what if's" in it. To do 33 like The Sports Guy does in his book, PLUS redefine the Hall of Fame, PLUS recount "the lost years" of the NBA, PLUS break down every MVP season in the league's history, AND to have the postlogue interview with the greatness that is Villiam Valton ... holy Lord, this book was incredible. A MUST READ for anyone who considers themselves even a casual fan of professional hoops).
10. Of all the "what ifs" about to appear, save for number one, this one intrigues me the most.
As a biased hoops observer, I can make a legitimate argument that for the first half of the decade, the Big XII was the nation's best conference. Or at the very least, the nation's most balanced conference.
From 2000-2004, Big XII teams appeared in 9 Elite 8's (out of 40 spots). They appeared in 5 Final Fours (out of 20 spots). Best of all, a stunning six difference conference teams reached the Elite 8 in that five year stretch. The ACC can brag about its big two, big three ... but no way does the ACC go six deep over a five year stretch. No way. The Big XII did. Iowa State, Oklahoma, Texas, Oklahoma State, and Kansas all made at least one Elite 8 appearance, and all but Iowa State reached at least one Final Four in this five year stretch.
The sixth team to reach an Elite 8 in that five year stretch? "What if" Number 10.
What if MU had beaten Oklahoma in the 2002 West Regional Final? (They lost by 6, 81-75).
Forgot about this golden nugget? A Missouri Tiger team that underachieved all season, somehow put together a late run to steal a 12 seed. The last at-large team in the field. This team was friggin loaded with talent. Clarence Gilbert, Kareem Rush, Rickey Paulding, Keyon Dooling. They blew through Miami (FL) and Ohio State, and survived UCLA, to reach the West Regional Final against an OU team that had just beat them two weeks earlier in the Big XII Tourney final.
That OU team had some talent too, led by Edjuardo Najera and Hollis Price. The Sooners won the Big XII tourney, scored a two seed in the West, and coasted (as they should) to two easy victories. Then they blew out a damned good Arizona team in the Sweet 16 to set up the all-Big XII regional final.
OU wound up winning the rubber match (MU won the regular season battle) by a few points.
But what if MU had won? A bucket here, a bucket there ... what if MU had won?
What we do know is this -- both head coaches were gone within three years of this game. And neither one left with his dignity intact. Both left amid NCAA investigations, rumors of "lack of institutional control", and neither coach will be running a D1 team again in my lifetime. Stunning given how the first few years of the decade played out.
But what if MU had won this game? Would Quin Snyder have felt as compelled as he did to recruit questionable character guys in an attempt to win big? Would Ricky Clemons have ever stepped foot on the MU campus? Remember, MU didn't fall apart overnight. With the core still intact, MU won the Big XII Tourney, scored a six seed, and took eventual Final Four participant Marquette to overtime before falling in the second round in 2003. They opened the 2004 season ranked in the top three. If MU makes the Final Four in 2002, does Quin get a "do-over" for that 2004 season that collapsed under the weight of expectations? Certainly reaching the 2002 Final Four bought Mike Davis an extra year (or two) at Indiana he probably didn't deserve. Would the school's first Final Four head coach have been shown the door as quickly as Quin was when the program started collapsing? Or would he have been given greater leeway?
(My guess? Yes, he would have been given at least one more season than he wound up getting. Although I still think Quin would have recruited and signed Ricky Clemons. Because he was a sleazy coach like that, and sleaze attracts, uuh, sleaze).
And if MU makes that Final Four, how does the perception of the program change? Its not like MU was a pushover the previous couple decades. Norm Stewart usually had a tourney-bound, solid squad to field. But they never reached the Final Four. The glass ceiling was the Elite 8. Norm coached for what, 25, 30 years? And never cracked the glass ceiling. He came close a few times, with some loaded teams in the late 80s, and the perfect run through the Big 8 in 1994 that ended in the Elite 8 against Arizona.
Quin was only in his 3rd season ... and already hit the glass ceiling. If he breaks it, against a conference rival to boot? If Quin can walk in off the street, pick up the pieces of a torn MU program entering the decade (remember, half the fanbase wanted Norm kicked to the curb, the other half was scared they couldn't do better, so were angry at even trying to replace Norm), if he walks in and within three years, posts three NCAA appearances, and a Final Four berth? To put that in perspective, the rebuild Roy did at KU was amazing. (Don't worry ... Roy's departure sorta, kinda, arrives on this countdown later).
Taking over a team on probation, losing every decent player, and having to follow up a national championship head coach? Roy had KU in the Final Four in his third season. If MU wins this game against OU, then Quin Snyder matches the job Roy did. (And I'd argue tops it; KU can recruit based on its name. MU has to recruit based on the person doing the recruiting). Would Quin have become as beloved by the fanbase as Roy was (and in some corners, still is)? Does Quin earn a Roy-like unquestioned status amongst the Tiger faithful?
(I say no; the self-destructive nature in Quin wouldn't allow it. But it is interesting to contemplate).
MU was literally just a bucket here or a free throw there away from the greatest win in program history. And yet you can argue that winning that game would have HURT MU more than losing it did. Because winning that game likely buys Quin more time to self-destruct, likely buys Quin at least 30% of the fanbase who will follow him with unquestioned loyalty because "he did more than any other coach here ever has", and most importantly, when the firing axe finally comes down on Quin ... likely sees Mike Anderson already having left UAB for another program. I argued seven years ago, at the time, that it was the "most crushing defeat in MU history, greater than Tyus Edney's layup, worse than Matt Davison's kick, this was the stomach punch". In hindsight, I couldn't have been more wrong ...
9. Flash back to 1995. MU was coming off an unbeaten Big 8 season that ended in the Elite 8 in hoops, and Oklahoma State reached the Final Four in Seattle that year. Nebraska was on its way to a second straight national championship, and both Kansas and Kansas State fielded top 10 programs that fall. Things were looking good for the conference, and about to look better.
Because the Southwest Conference and the Big 8 were negotiating for a merger.
However, only four Southwest Conference teams were going to join the new conference.
Two of the picks were obvious. You had to take Texas, and you had to take Texas A&M. Texas Tech also made perfect sense to bring along.
Which left one spot to fill.
And leads me into "What If" Number 9.
What if the Big XII had selected TCU instead of Baylor?
I was a freshman at TCU in 1995, and somehow I conned those folks into giving me a degree when my four years were up, so maybe I'm slightly biased here. But to this day, I don't get why the Big XII went with Baylor over TCU.
(Actually, I do -- former Texas governor Ma Richards, who was given way too big a platform in working for the Southwest Conference on this merge, basically threatened to walk out on the merger if her alma mater wasn't taken. Which then, of course, raises the question, why Texas Tech instead of TCU? Anyways).
TCU offered you four things right off the bat Baylor did not:
* a relevant football program.
* a relevant basketball program.
* a campus where being a college kid was smiled upon, not legislated against.
* a school in the sixth largest media market in America.
The first point is kind of moot -- Pat Sullivan was quickly running the program into the ground, culminating in that "classic" 13-10 victory over SMU to end the 1997 season at ... 1-11. (And yes, I was there for every excruciating second of that "classic"). But after Pat was shown the door that winter, TCU hired Dennis Franchione, and then Gary Patterson, and hasn't missed a bowl since.
The second point is also kind of moot -- Billy Tubbs had the program on the rise, even scored a 4 seed in the NCAA Tournament in 1997. But once Tubbs left, the program fell back into dormancy.
The third point, you better believe that matters. Its why I chose TCU over Baylor. Seriously, if you can't spend your college years drinking ridiculous amounts of alcohol, inhaling ridiculous amounts of weed, and rolling over at least a couple times a semester and thinking "what the hell is her name again", then you need to find a better college. Baylor legislates against the fun in life. Boo Baylor. Boo.
(And yet, one of my best buddies went to Baylor, had more fun than a human being should be allowed to have, despite the attempted restrictions, and swears it was the best 5 years of his life. So what do I know).
But in all seriousness, its the final point that matters. Why in the hell did the Big XII walk away from having a school in the Dallas media market?
Even if you argue that school should have been SMU (and that's a legitimate argument in its own right, especially given their academic reputation and the Hunt Family money), why in the hell did the Big XII walk away from having a school in the Dallas media market?
The conference is headquartered in Dallas. They stage the conference tournament there every couple years, and the new Cowboys Stadium will host the Big XII Title Game this fall. So again, the question of the day, is why in the hell did the Big XII walk away from having a school in the Dallas media market?
You look at every other Power Six conference. Even if the school sucks ass, they ALL have at least one team in a top 30 media market --
* Big East: St. Johns (NYC), Villanova (Philly), DePaul (Chicago)
* ACC: Georgia Tech (Atlanta), Miami (Miami)
* SEC: Georgia (Atlanta)
* Big Ten: Northwestern (Chicago)
* Pac 10: UCLA, USC (Los Angeles); Cal, Stanford (Bay Area), Washington (Seattle), Arizona State (Phoenix)
The closest a Big XII school comes to playing in a top 30 media market is Kansas, a 30 minute drive from Kansas City. That, or if traffic on K10 is backed up, you could point out that A&M is 45 minutes from Houston. But either way, that's not good. When it was the Big 8, this was fine. It was a localized conference, with loyal fans devoted to this section of the country. But once you expand to basically spread the conference across the Midwest, from Canada to Mexico, from the Rockies to the Mississippi, don't you need a major media market presence?
(Yes. Yes, you do).
That's why not picking TCU (or SMU) made no sense then. It makes even less sense now, as individual conferences are forming their own networks, are signing exclusive TV contracts. They can do it, because they have a built in major media market into their conference. The Big XII doesn't have a school within 30 minutes of a top 30 market other than Kansas. And having the 27th largest Nielsen market with quad-divided loyalty (between KU, KSU, MU and Nebraska) is nowhere near as important as having an actual member in the 6th largest media market.
8. The funnest year of the decade, for me, was 2003.
KU Football awoke from its usual doormat status, and somehow reached a bowl for the first time since my freshman year in college. The Chiefs opened 9-0, en route to their first divisional title and playoff berth in 6 years.
And the Royals ... well ... "What If" Number 8.
What if the 2003 Royals had held on to win the AL Central?
The Royals opened 9-0, and sat at a ridiculous 17-4 entering May.
And then, the slide began.
And kept going.
And kept going.
Until June 2nd, when the Royals sat at 32-32 entering the first game in Colorado. And we got pounded.
Only ... the game wasn't completed thanks to a rainstorm. Nothing counted.
The Royals rallied, swept the doubleheader, and treaded water for a couple weeks until Fathers Day 2003, arguably my favorite game of the decade. Me, my dad, my brother, and my buddy James went to this one, and sat in old left field GA. I remember this day for five reasons:
1. It was so ridiculously hot, that I didn't even bother to bring a t-shirt in with me. Usually I at least do that. Even if it doesn't stay on for long.
2. They had some overnight campout deal on the field the night before, so the groundscrew was still cleaning up crap barely 30 minutes before first pitch.
3. Jose Lima's first start! I remember asking my dad "What do you want out of him today", and his response was "Less Runs than Innings Pitched". Yeah, you know you've signed a keeper when you're hoping for an ERA somewhere around 9.
4. Barry Bonds' 6th inning home run off Lima. It literally hit the roof of the old right field GA concession stand on the fly. Its the sweetest home run I've ever seen to this day.
5. Mike Sweeney's 0-2 rocket to the left field gap to score Joe Randa to win 5-4.
The Royals took off from that point, moving from a .500 team to a team 7 1/2 games up at the All Star Break. They still led by 3 games entering mid August, when the eventual champion Twins came to town, and took two of three over one of the best weekends of the summer, the "Double Header" Saturday with Royals / Twins and Chiefs / Vikings, and the "Rob and Rany Day at the K" Sunday. (Anytime you can sit in 105 degree heat with two baseball writers like Rob and Rany, you have to do it. Even if the beer you're drinking is literally being sweated out as soon as it goes in).
The last gasp of that Royals team was probably in mid September. In a virtual tie with the Twins and White Sox with 3 weeks to go, they hosted the Diamondbacks in a make-up game. Trailing 3-2 entering the bottom of the 9th, Carlos Beltran led off with a walk.
Then stole second.
Then stole third.
And scored on a sacrifice fly.
Joe Posnanski wrote a great article on this game, and specifically on this play. Of all the amazing things the 2003 season gave us, that play stays burned in my mind, even more so than Tito climbing the fence to haul in a Seattle home run ball. Even more than Ken Harvey's homer to extend the streak to 9-0. Even more than Jimmy Gobble's debut start when he overpowered the Rays in a 2-0 shutout. Even more than Sweeney's Father's Day hit, than the hope that trading for Brian Anderson and Rondell White brought, even more Runelvys Hernandez literally destroying his season and his career by tossing 105 pitches in the ridiculous July heat with a torn rotator cuff to help beat Seattle right after the All Star break.
(As another note: I also remember this season so well for three other reasons:
a. Gregg and I had DirecTV ... which didn't have the failed experiment known as RSTN. So we had to "watch" every game by literally listening to the radio. I always thought that was cool. It was like being back as a 12, 13 year old again, back in the awesome pennant race of 1989, listening on radio to every play.
b. Between Gregg, Jasson, James, my brother, PJ, Chris, Anthony, and work folks, I pretty much went to every game from mid June on. Like being back in college, when the 1998 Rangers pennant run became "emergency expenses" on my dad's credit card for me, Frank, and Mike.
c. This season convinced me and Gregg to buy full season tickets in 2004. Arguably the single biggest mistake of my adult sports fan life. Cleaning out the kitchen before moving out a couple years later, I came across the season ticket book from 2004. The last game either one of us went to? July 26th. Two unused months of tickets. Why you don't buy full season MLB tickets 101 ...)
There were so many ridiculous, amazing moments that summer, that you have to think "What would have happened if the Royals had held on"?
Well ...
My guess is, we'd have lost in 4 at the most to the Yankees. And yet, we had the Yankees number that year, taking 4 of 6, 2 of 3 in each stadium. So who knows? But the bigger point is ...
What would have happened that offseason?
If you break through and win the division, do you then gamble on reclamation projects like Juan Gonzalez and Benito Santiago? Or, as defending division champs with the playoff revenue stream to play with, do you go out and sign legitimate options, like resigning Rondell White?
Or better yet, as defending divisional champs, do you take that added revenue, walk into Scott Boras' office, and lay out the plan for the next 4-5 years as a playoff contender, and offer Carlos Beltran a legitimate, above-board, fair market offer that he at least has to consider signing?
Of course, the Royals didn't win the Central. Beltran was gone within three months of the 2004 season starting, for two serviceable major leaguers (Teahan, Buck), and one pitching flameout (Blake Wood). Gonzalez and Santiago were signed, and promptly bombed. Brian Anderson couldn't locate the strike zone, Jose Lima proved to be a one season fluke, and Mike MacDougal flamed out spectacularly. To say nothing of Angel Berroa aging 55 years overnight.
But for one magical season, it was all right there for the taking. If only the Royals had grabbed it.
7. As most of you who read this site on a regular basis ... or just know me period ... as you are well aware, there is one professional sports team I hate with a f*cking passion. The denver broncos.
I hate them for a lot of reasons. I'm sure some of them are listed elsewhere on this site. I'm sure many more will be posted this week since it is, after all, donkeys week 2009.
But there's one game that stands out to me, and its number seven on the "What If" list.
What if the 2002 Chiefs don't lose to denver in week 7?
Not the one you were expecting, huh? I think most people assumed I was referencing the playoff defeat on my 21st birthday to elway at Arrowhead, a game I (sadly) correctly predicted beforehand that the winner would win the Lombardi Trophy.
No, I'm not reliving that one, partly out of painful memory, but mostly because the better team won. Now excuse me while I go find the HHH Memorial Sledgehammer and beat myself senseless with it over admitting that painful fact.
(steve taking a few minutes to deal with painful loss ...)
(And while dealing with said loss ... that statement is absolute fact. denver was the better team. They dominated both regular season games we played, blowing us out at Real Mile High, and losing on a 54 yard wounded duck of a field goal as time expired, in a game in which the Dick Gannon led Chiefs failed to gain 200 yards of offense. Even the playoff game, denver statistically dominated. Gotta tip the cap to a great team when you see one. Even if they did cheat by circumventing the salary cap to make it happen).
OK, and we're back. The denver game that drives me bonkers, is that 2002 defeat. There is simply no conceivable way we should have lost that game. The Chiefs dominated the stats. They led from (literally) the opening seconds of the game. They were up double digits nearly the entire way. They led 34-27 with 3:52 to go, facing a 4th and 1 at the denver 25.
And in that moment, is the madness, the utter frustration, the insanity, that defined my hatred of Dick Vermeil. The Chiefs defense in 2002 was atrocious. Statistically, it is the worst in NFL history. It even earned its own nickname, the "32 Defense", in honor of its ranking in virtually every measurable statistic. Here you are, 4th and 1, a little under 4 minutes to go. You get the first down, and its ballgame for all intents and purposes. (denver used its final timeout to stop the clock after 3rd down). We had Priest Holmes. Running behind John Tait, Willie Roaf, Will Shields, Casey Weigmann, and Brian Waters. With Tony Richardson blocking. You mean to tell me we can't get a f*cking yard in that spot?
If you convert there, you bleed a MINIMUM of another 1:50 off the clock, down to the two minute warning. That is the ONLY time left that denver could have stopped the clock. What makes more sense to you. What sounds like the smarter, safer, more common sense call to you: try a 43 yard field goal with a 40 plus year old kicker whose range was 40 yards ... or pound Priest Holmes behind that line, with Richardson as well, for 36 inches. What sounds more logical to you?
(Run the damned ball!)
And even if you don't convert the first down ... ok, then what? denver ball at their own 25, instead of at their own 33 after the field goal miss? What difference does 8 yards in starting field position make at that point?
(Run the damned ball!)
Go figure, Vermeil tried the field goal. Go figure, it wasn't even close to being good. (Funny historical note: even the nfl.com Game Recap Play by Play notes that the field goal try was "short". SHORT! From 43 yards out! Just like every damned person in that stadium save for Dick Vermeil knew it would be! Again, why didn't we run the f*cking football!)
Everyone there that sunny October afternoon knows what happened next. denver drove and scored with seconds to spare to force overtime. They won the coin toss. Somehow the Chiefs defense held, but when our offense stalled at midfield, the donkeys blocked the punt, then elam nailed a 26 yard field goal a couple plays later. 37-34 denver.
This loss ... to say it adversely affected me, is an understatement. I didn't make it into work until Wednesday. Let's just say there were a lot of empty liquor bottles in the trash that week. That loss to me, was what the number one "what if" on this list was to Gregg.
(Note: this was during my 6, 7 month period after my unfortunate drinking and driving arrest when, on the strong advise of friends and family, I attempted to quit drinking. Emphasis on the word "attempted". Let's just say, between my genes, my love of vodka, and this defeat, that the liquor bottles started appearing again on a nightly basis in the fridge. Thank you Dick Vermeil! Just kidding, Dick. I don't blame you. For this, anyways.)
(Another note: in case you didn't know beforehand, or didn't just figure it out from the previous couple paragraphs ... you now know why I hate Dick Vermeil with a freaking passion. One decision, in one relatively meaningless regular season game, from 8 years ago, and I refuse to let go. A simple 4th and 1, and I still can't let go. Against any other opponent, I'd probably let it slide after a few cold ones. When it costs us a win against my most hated team, and costs us a playoff berth, I don't let it go. I let it simmer. Until it boils over. Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah).
If the Chiefs win that game, we know the following would have happened:
* The Chiefs would have been the last team in, at 9-7. (The Chiefs had tiebreaker over Cleveland due to head-to-head victory).
* They would have opened at Pittsburgh in the early Sunday slot.
* They would have been the scariest 6 seed in NFL history (up to that point in time).
The Chiefs could score at will, on anybody. They topped 20 points an astonishing 13 times. They topped 30 points a jaw dropping 8 times. They topped 40 points an absolutely logic-defying 4 times. The Steelers were led by a surprisingly effective Tommy Maddux. You mean to tell me the Chiefs can't win a shootout with those guys? The Chiefs had already dropped 40 on Cleveland (actual playoff team), 38 on the defending champion Patriots, 48 on a 9-7 Dolphins team that missed the playoffs on tiebreakers, 34 on a decent Chargers team, and 30 plus on denver twice. Plus the icing on the cake, a 49 point outburst against the defending NFC Champion Rams. The only thing that ever stopped the Chiefs offense that season was the monsoon in Oakland to end the season.
I'm not saying that Chiefs team would have done anything once they got to the playoffs. But it was set up. A shootout at Pittsburgh, last team with the ball wins. A complete contrast in styles in Nashville against the Titans in the second round. And then a potential AFC West showdown for the Lamar Hunt Trophy out in the Bay Area with Sur William Callahan's raiders. Sadly, because of Dick Vermeil's stupid, retarded decision to not go for the jugular and the win, and instead play it safe, we'll never know.
Hey, speaking of dumb decisions by folks making decisions in Jackson County, let's move on to one of the dumbest in recorded human history, by the assclown that currently represents me in Congress ...
6. Flash back to spring of 1997. The Chiefs were coming off their first playoff-less season of the decade. (Keep reading -- that "what if" is coming up). The Royals were well on their way to reinventing their franchise from "model everyone looks up to", to ("major league" groundskeepers voice) "these guys are sh*tty!" status. KU basketball was coming off a 34-1 regular season, only to collapse in the Sweet 16 against Arizona.
And in Fort Worth Texas, this hot-as-hell 20 year old did the unthinkable.
I went to my first NASCAR race, the debut race at TMS.
I had a few buddies who had tickets, they had an extra, so I went along. I had never been to a Cup race before. I have always loved open wheel racing. I was never a fan of NASCAR before this because (a) their cars weren't as neat, (b) their cars weren't as fast, and (c) their fanbase scared the sh*t out of me.
Still, I'm willing to try anything once for the most part, so on a bright hot sunny Sunday in late April, it was off for my first Cup experience.
And I loved every effing second of it.
From the second you pull into the grass lots, see 200,000 plus people, all flying flags, drinkin' beer, tossing washers, blaring the stereo, well, that's my kind of people! That's me at Arrowhead! And not only are you close to the action, they let you bring your own booze in? Are you kidding me? How much sweeter can it get? And once the race started, turn one, lap one, this 24 car went flying into the wall, and the place just erupted. I had no idea then who was in said 24 car painted like a friggin rainbow, but I knew this much -- if 200,000 plus people hate someone that much, and express their hatred so openly, I want in on the fun!
I say this, because that spring, the governing body of NASCAR decided it was time to build a track in the Midwest. They approached KCMO's "honorable" mayor at the time, the Rev. Emanuel Cleaver, and his braintrust with a proposition: if Kansas City, Missouri and/or Jackson County would build a track in eastern Jackson County, they would guarantee a yearly Cup race starting in 2001.
And Cleaver passed. Meanwhile, across the state line, the single smartest leader this region has had in three decades, the awesome Carol Marinovich, immediately stepped in and agreed to spend the STAR bonds on the project.
The KC region has never been the same since.
So "What If" number six is, what if Mayor Cleaver agrees to build the track in eastern Jackson County?
To be fair to Mr. Cleaver, the area that NASCAR was targeting was the corner of 470 and "The Dred" (aka I-70). Growth slowly yet surely has happened there on its own, with a decent shopping complex arising on the east side, a new indoor arena arising on the north side, and Bass Pro Shops going in on the west side. But that development is nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to what Mayor Marinovich wound up with.
Mayor Cleaver's decision to punt on the new track, screwed Jackson County's taxrolls from here to eternity. (Or at least until a new track needs to be built in what, 50 years? 60 years? These things tend to last for awhile). The Legends development that literally saved Wyandotte County as a viable place to live, would instead be in Missouri. The tourism that KCK attracts two (and soon to be three) race weekends every year, would be on the Missouri side. All the tax benefits, from merchandise sales, hotel fees, liquor sales, you name it, would be in KCMO's coffers. Not KCK's. That Power and Light District, the Sprint Centre, the downtown redevelopment that is literally hemorraging money? Wouldn't be such an issue.
And maybe, just maybe, with that one bold stroke of leadership, of seeing the future (aka the expansion of motorsports from a southern curiousity to mainstream popularity), the current debacle down the street from me would be seeing the Wizards stadium being erected, instead of being a hole in the ground, because developers could rest assured that the city had a rock solid track record of seeing development through to the finish.
Instead, its all KCK's gain. All because Manny Cleaver decided ... what, exactly? Was worth spending the bond money on? He really did nothing in his tenure except flush money down the toilet known as Kemper Arena on stupid renovations that everyone knew wasn't enough to keep the NCAA and the Big XII here. Needless to say, Manny Cleaver is not one of my favorite people. Yet somehow, we keep electing this idiot every two years to represent us in Washington. It's truly mind boggling.
But not as mind boggling as Manny Cleaver punting on NASCAR. KCK's public officials are still laughing their ass off over that decision ...
5. Of course, giving Manny Cleaver a run for his money in the "single most retarded decision of my lifetime" category, is former Kansas football head coach Terry Allen. Which is the number five "What If".
What if Terry Allen wasn't mentally challenged, and had offered Darren Sproles the scholarship he so desperately wanted?
I'm not spending a lot of time on this. The entire Terry Allen era should just be purged from the history books, it was that bad. Six inept years of football. 0-6 vs KSU. 0-6 vs Nebraska. 1-5 vs Missouri. Trust me, I sat through most of it. I was "privileged" to witness a 63-0 homecoming defeat to KSU that pretty much led to near riot-like conditions in Memorial Stadium. (And yet somehow, Allen kept his job for another year and a half after this abortion of a performance! How! How do you lose by 9 touchdowns to a hated rival, AT HOME, and keep your job for another 16 months? Amazing. Who says Bob Frederick didn't care about any sport other than basketball!)
But the biggest sin of them all ... Terry Allen decided he didn't want Darren Sproles.
Sproles, of course, signed with K State instead. Three Big XII Title Games and a Big XII championship later, I'd say Bill Snyder made the right call to offer the kid from Olathe a scholarship.
But never forget, Sproles wanted to play at Kansas. And Terry Allen said no.
On second thought, Sproles might have saved Terry Allen's job. Probably best to just move on from this one before contemplating that possibility makes me want to bash my head into the wall.
4. Speaking of great "What Ifs" in Kansas history ...
What if Mikey Lee's desperation three as time expired went in, instead of being blocked by Hakim Warrick, in the 2003 National Championship game?
Let me say up front, I think Roy was leaving no matter what. Which is why I picked this one as the KU hoops "What If".
Because if Mikey Lee's shot goes in, if somehow KU rallies from down 20 plus to force overtime, and goes on to win that game (which given the way momentum was going, would have happened), if that shot goes in, does anyone at KU hold nearly the level of hatred towards Roy that wound up occurring?
If that shot goes in, doesn't Roy accomplish in his 14 years at the school EVERYTHING he set out to do? Restore the program to national prominence. (check). Do it in a respectable, NCAA compliant manner. (check). Regularly win conference titles. (check). Regularly score top 4 seeds in the tournament. (check). Never lose in the first round, go a perfect 13 for 13. (check).
Five Final Fours in 14 years. (check). Two national title game appearances. (check).
And if that shot goes in ...
Win a national championship.
(check).
If all that occurs, and THEN Roy leaves, does anyone fault him? Does anyone blame him? Do we still get the "I don't give a sh*t about North Carolina" comment he delivered to Erin Andrews? (God I hope so).
Does the "inferiority complex", for lack of a better way to put it, that set in after the two straight first round defeats a few years later, as UNC goes on to give Roy his first national title, does that set in? Or instead, does KU fan revel in Roy achieving his sport's greatest achievement?
Or the famous showdown, throwdown, (don fambrough voice) hoe-down in 2008, the KU / UNC national semifinal, is that nearly the hate-fest, the pure adrenaline rush, that it wound up becoming? Or would it be like when KU would face UNC in the Roy era, the "we're just here to enjoy watching a couple Kansas guys go at it" feeling that was there when Roy faced off against Dean?
Guess we'll never know.
(For what its worth ... I think KU fans would still be agitated, but Roy would be held in much higher esteem than he is. To his eternal credit, the pure class Roy showed after that 2008 defeat, showing up for the national title game and basically telling his employer and his clothing sponsors "screw it, I'm wearing a Jayhawk that is visible for the world to see", that moment won him back into my good graces. Seeing the pure joy and happiness he felt when KU won that game, erased 5 years of hatred for me. But if Mikey Lee's shot goes in, do I ever feel the hatred and anger? Honestly? Probably not. You have to go where your heart is. As an adopted Texan that wants to move back, I get why Roy left. I just think it would have been much less messy if that Lee shot falls).
3. Well, I guess at some point we have to deal with THE Chiefs quarterback controversy of the 1990s. So let's haul out the "What If" wheel for number three.
What if ...
Rich Gannon ...
never replaced ...
Steve Bono with four games to play in 1996.
Ha! Gotcha! Again, I'm guessing everyone expected this to be the Gannon / Grbac debate of 1997 and 1998 (and beyond).
Uuh, no.
Because if THIS QB debate doesn't happen, the other one doesn't.
To recap: the 1996 Chiefs are 8-4 following a humiliating home loss to the Chargers. The offense laid the proverbial lingering fart that day. The final was 28-14 but it wasn't even remotely that close (the Chiefs got two garbage time touchdowns).
However, at 8-4, still solidly in line for a wildcard berth, and still only a game behind denver in the division ... Marty decided it was time for a change at quarterback. Steve Bono was benched for the Thanksgiving game at Detroit.
Rich Gannon was installed as the starter.
For me, the move "paid off" -- I bet my dad $200 worth of Christmas presents that the Chiefs would miss the playoffs. I had zero doubt this move would blow up in our face. And it did, as Dick Gannon beat Detroit, but got blown out in oakland, then left the Colts game (that ultimately decided the final AFC wildcard berth) with an injury. Left with no choice, Marty turned back to Bono ... only Bono (somewhat) defensibly had quit on the team, and it showed, as the Chiefs choked away the Colts game, and got ass-whipped in Buffalo to end the season at 9-7 and out of the playoffs.
So what if Bono had never been yanked?
For starters, I believe the Chiefs at least would have made the playoffs. Bono would have won in Detroit (like Gannon did), and he would have beaten oakland to get us in at 10-6 at the worst. Not sure the Chiefs would have done anything once they got there (would have likely opened at Pittsburgh against the defending AFC Champs), but then again, the entire 1996 postseason was upside-down wacky. (The 6th seeded, second year Jaguars reached the AFC Title Game; the second year Panthers reached the NFC Title Game; the Dallas and Buffalo dynasties in essence died in quick eliminations).
But more to the point -- do the Chiefs go out and target Elvis Grbac in free agency?
If Gannon doesn't play, he remains the unknown. As it was, because he took the field, Marty and Carl had zero faith in either Bono (about to retire) or Gannon as the QB option. So we signed Grbac to man the team.
If Bono stays in, do we trust Gannon from day one in 1997 and avoid Grbac altogether? And instead spend the free agent / salary cap money to keep Neil Smith and/or Mark Collins?
(My guess? We still target a QB in free agency, but its not priority one. Priority one becomes retaining Neil Smith, then we go out and sign a competent veteran. Someone like Doug Flutie (who Buffalo signed) or Vinny Testaverde (who the Jets signed) or even try to coax one more year out of Bono, and let them battle Gannon for the job in camp. But again, that's just a guess).
(Also, for what its worth ... I argued all offseason that Marty should be fired for the collapse, and his handling of the QB situation. To use a historical analogy here, the switch from Bono to Gannon, was Marty's March on Moscow. Just like the Russian Invasion ultimately defeated Napoleon, even though it took three more years for it to finally end at Waterloo, this was Marty's March on Moscow. From this point on, it was only a matter of time until the end arrived. I'd say Marty's Waterloo was the Monday Night Meltdown, but I think every Chiefs fan already knew that).
2. Aah, the final two.
OK, really, just number two -- number one on the "What If" list I have argued for a decade and counting, and will attempt to coherently lay out in a few more paragraphs.
But number two ... well, it was tough to pick.
Among the moments I considered:
* What if the Strike of 1994 was settled in time to finish a legitimate season?
* What if Aaron Miles doesn't foul out to start overtime against Georgia Tech in the 2004 Elite 8?
* What if Todd Reesing leads a final scoring drive to force overtime against Missouri in 2007?
* What if John Mackovic wasn't fired after the 1986 season?
* What if KSU doesn't blow a 17 point lead to Texas A&M in the 1998 Big XII Title Game?
But number two, quite honestly, is what killed college football as it existed for people my age in these parts.
What if Matt Davison's reception of the kicked pass against Missouri in 1997 falls incomplete?
(Or, more accurately, what if the officiating crew in Columbia that day had ruled that as an illegal forward pass?)
It was a fourth and goal play, Missouri up 31-24 against an undefeated number one ranked Nebraska team. The pass, of course, helped Nebraska survive the upstart Tigers, and win a 3rd national title in four years.
But what if the pass falls incomplete? What if the refs make the right call?
We know two things that would have happened if that had occurred:
1. An undefeated Michigan team wins an undisputed national championship.
2. The 1998 Cornhuskers would still have struggled, given the departing talent and the rise of Kansas State.
What we don't know ... is who would have coached Nebraska in 1998.
Would Dr. Tom have returned without that final championship? Would Frank Solich have ever ascended to the throne? And even if he had ... would Solich have been given a far more lenient grace period than he got if he doesn't replace a coach coming off a national championship, and three in four years?
Even more to the point, if Solich gets said grace period ... does the "Surrender" Steve Pederson era occur?
(Note: I'm not going to argue "Sur" William Callahan was a great coach. He's not. But Bill Callahan is a decent coach that can win in the right situation. Sorry, but you don't make a Super Bowl as a head coach unless you have some competence. Ditto make a Big XII Title game -- sorry Hawks Fans, but even "Sur" William made one. Pinkle's made two. Gary Barnett made three. Mangino's made zero. Remember that when he's fired this week.
"Surrender" Steve, on the other hand, might be the single biggest asshole to run an athletic department in this decade. Even bigger than you, Lew Perkins. You've whizzed on every tradition and everything good and decent about Hawks athletics, but at least your teams win. "Surrender" Steve never had that going for him. Well, until Jamie Dixon (who he didn't hire) and Dave Wannstedt (who he didn't hire) made his new job at Pitt respectable. Someday, someone needs to write a book on just how piss poor a job "Surrender" Steve did in Lincoln. You could write like 9,000 pages, and STILL have another 9,000 pages of material to cite, let alone comment about. Wait, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, the destruction of Nebraska football thanks to the golden toe reception by Matt Davison).
I argued in "What If" number 10 that MU not winning in the Elite 8 against OU was the best thing that could have happened. A victory in that spot would have been far worse than the defeat was in the hindsight of history. Well, conversely, can't you argue in the hindsight of history that Davison's kicked pass reception was the worst thing to happen to Nebraska football in 12 years? (Save for "Surrender" Steve Pederson, of course. Again, there are not enough words that can possibly be thought, let alone written, by mankind to describe the abortion that his reign of error at Nebraska was).
If Davison doesn't catch that pass, if the refs rule it an illegal forward pass, if anything happens to alter that ... well, that's one for the What If's Hall of Fame.
(For what its worth: I still think Dr. Tom retires after that 1997 season. But Solich definitely gets a greater grace period. I also don't think Osborne goes into politics, he stays closer to the program. And the entire "Surrender" Steve era is avoided. Thankfully, Bo Pelini and Dr. Tom are restoring Nebraska to what it used to be. And I mean that word, "thankfully". Nebraska football as we knew it prior to the "Surrender" Steve years is everything every single football program in America should aspire to be. Welcome back, Black Shirts. Welcome back, Power I. Welcome back, having a Big Kid on the Block to knock off ...)
Which leads us to number one ...
1. What if Dick Gannon doesn't get a fifth down against the Chiefs in the Y2K bowl?
I don't even know where to begin on this one.
Its always been my greatest "What If", pretty much since the day it happened. (January 2, 2000).
Chiefs lead 38-31, just about two minutes to go. The raiders have a 3rd and 17 at the Chiefs 31. There is an illegal formation penalty on oakland that is DECLINDED by Kansas City AFTER the raiders run a 3rd down play. It should have been 4th and 17. Instead, the refs allow oakland to replay the down. Incomplete. Now it is 5th and 17 ... only the refs are treating it as 4th and 17. And go figure, Dick Gannon hits tim brown in the end zone. Tie game.
If the Chiefs win this game, as they should have after the 4th down incompletion, we know the following three things would have happened:
1. The Chiefs win the AFC West at 10-6.
2. We would have hosted Miami in the late Sunday timeslot.
3. We would have DESTROYED the Dolphins, who lost 5 of 6 to "qualify" for the playoffs, needed overtime to beat a Seahawks team that also lost 5 of 6 to "qualify" for the playoffs, then lost 66-3 to Jacksonville in the divisional round (still the largest postseason margin of defeat ever).
So ... based on this, let's play one more scenario out, ok? Since its the "What If" column, after all.
(That, and if you're still reading, you're gonna love where I'm going with this, I think).
Assuming all else stays the same (aka, same playoff games, matchups, outcomes occur, save for Chiefs), the Titans go into Jacksonville and beat the Jaguars. The Chiefs go into Indy, to face the Jim Mora Curse against a team we should have beaten in the regular season (we lost 28-23 on a late touchdown). Again, following the logic that assumption claims to be, give the Chiefs a win somehow in this spot against the snakebitten Mora. (Tennessee won in this spot 20-17 before rolling Jacksonville the next week).
That sets up your AFC Title Game on Sunday, January 23, 2000. Tennessee Titans at Kansas City Chiefs.
My ultimate dream come true. The Chiefs, at home, playing to reach the Super Bowl.
But even better ... anyone remember what the weather was like that Sunday?
I know, its a decade ago. Tough to recall. I'll give you a few minutes to Google the results, or search the deep archives of your brain to recall.
(playing "Jeopardy" music ...)
Time.
Cold. Bitterly cold, in the high 20s in actual temp but low single digits for the windchill. Oh, and it was sleeting, snowing, and generally miserable. How do I know this like it happened yesterday?
Because of what would NOT have happened if the Chiefs were playing at home that day to advance to the Super Bowl.
Derrick Thomas doesn't get behind the wheel of his SUV on the way to the airport, and wreck out on a sheet of ice, and ultimately pass away a couple weeks later after being paralyzed from the neck down.
You want to argue about crushing defeats, gut-punch losses? What's bigger than the Y2K Bowl? If the Chiefs win that game, you can LEGITIMATELY argue they not only host the AFC Title Game, not only potentially reach the Super Bowl to face our cross-state rivals that we've pole-axed three straight regular season meetings and counting (including the following season, dropping 54 on them at Arrowhead) ... "The Franchise" is still alive today.
I'm not gonna lie -- since this is my number one "What If" in sports, I've thought about this a lot. It pains me still (obviously).
So, the Final "What If". What if the Chiefs win that game, the Y2K bowl? The Chiefs win the division. They likely host the AFC Title game. Derrick Thomas likely lives to play at least one more season, and hopefully (finally) reach the Super Bowl, the "achievement" he never had that probably cost him four years of Hall of Fame eligibility.
And the other great "What If" of the 1999 season never has to be answered. What If Carl realized Gun was in over his head, and pulled the plug after year one ...
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