Thursday, June 14, 2018

the third thursday thirteen ...

"So you're dancing on the ocean --
Running fast, along the sand.
A spirit born, of earth and water --
Fire flying from your hands.

In the instant that you love someone?
In the second that the hammer hits?
Reality runs up your spine,
And the pieces?  Finally fit.

All I ever needed?
Was The One!
Like freedom feels,
Where wild horses run!

When stars collide,
Like you and I?
No shadows
Block the sun!

You're all I've ever needed --
Baby?  You're the one! ..."

-- "The One" by Sir Elton John.

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True story: I was randomly asked the other day what my favorite place to eat in Kansas City is.  The person asking was looking for something other than the "Captain Oats" * options in the room -- she wanted something that a Google search or a typical Uber driver wouldn't spout off, off the top of their head.

So that's this week's Thursday Thirteen: my thirteen favorite "you've probably never been here, but you should" bars, restaurants, and other assorted gathering joints for food, booze, and fun, in our fine metropolitan area.  (And not necessarily in that order.)

Enjoy?

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Allow me to note up front, there's a few choices I had to leave off, because they either (a) no longer exist, or (b) it's been so long since I visited, I can't vouch for said joint anymore. 

For example: if you'd asked me to do this ten years ago, Zig and Mac's (Western Shawnee; dearly departed) and Twisters (K7 and Kansas Avenue, Bonner Springs; still standing) would have been on it.  Five years ago, Quinton's (Waldo; dearly departed) ** would have topped the list.  A year ago, New China (87th and Blue Ridge Boulevard, South KC; still standing) and Coach's (South KC; looking for a new location) would have ranked somewhere.

My way of saying ... this list is as of today.  That ... and I have visited each place on this list at least once, in the last twelve months.

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(*: Captain Oats is Seth Cohen's toy horse on "The OC", and is presumably still hooking up with Princess Sparkles all these years later.  Captain Oats is also my way of saying "Captain Obvious".  Deal with it.)

(**: you all have no idea how much I miss Quinton's.  No.  F*cking.  Idea.  Because its' replacement (Waldo Bar), is about as appealing a place to visit, as a Planned Parenthood.  Because in both cases, you just pray to every God you can conjure up, that you never have to step foot in there, more than once in your life.)

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13. Tim's Pizza.

Location: Shrank and 40 Highway (or basically, Lee's Summit Road and 40 Highway), Independence, MO.

Rationale / Reasoning: other than the late, great Pizza Maker, it's the most criminitely, grousely underrated pizza joint in town.  I love Tim's.  Cheap, cold beer.  Interesting pizza ideas.  Usually quick service.

There are two drawbacks.  First, they don't deliver.  Second, they're cash only.  Neither one phases me or our pool / Chiefs watching party group -- we're always good for three or four Tim's Weekends a year.

12. Sutera's.

Location: (essentially) Shawnee Mission Parkway and K7, Western Shawnee.

Rationale / Reasoning: because it's one awesome Italian joint.  I used to love the original down in the West Bottoms when I worked downtown (george harrison voice) all those years ago.  I was beyond excited when they opened a new location a couple miles from where I lived (brantley gilbert voice) back in the day.  And I actually just ate at this place last night, (buffalo springfield voice) for what it's worth.  It's still every bit (toby keith voice) as good once, as it ever was.

11. Walsh's Corner Cocktails.

Location: 85th and Wornall, South Waldo.

Rationale / Reasoning: because anytime you can get a damned good burger, fries, and a couple beers, plus tip, and exit at under $15?  You have to do it.

Also, Walsh's is a huge Royals bar.  That doesn't suck.

Double also, I live less than a mile from this place, as well as Number 6 upcoming ... and less than two miles from Number 3.  Location does matter sometimes.

Especially when the beer is cold and cheap.

10. Paul's.

Location: 105th and Blue Ridge Boulevard, South KC.

Rationale / Reasoning: because nobody makes a better burger.  And yes, I am fully aware I live in the shadow of Max's.  NOBODY makes a better burger. 

9. MiDiCi.

Location: 89th and State Line (Ward Parkway Pavilion), South KC.

Rationale / Reasoning: I will grant you up front, it's a bit pricey.  And I will also grant you up front, you peruse the menu, and you'll be like "really?  Stevo likes this place?"

Fair observations, to be, uuh, fair.  But your observations would be wrong.  Because I don't like MiDiCi.  I freaking love it.  Trust me -- you want to try the Shrimp Scampi pizza at least once in your life.  You will not regret it.  Even if the idea of a Shrimp Scampi pizza sounds like the worst idea in the world.

8. And we have a tie!  Because I can't pick between my two favorite breakfast joints.

8a. Rosie's Cafe.
8b. Ginger's Restaurant.

Location:

Rosie's Cafe: 40 Highway and 39th Street, Kansas City.
Ginger's Cafe: 63rd and Woodson, Raytown.

Rationale / Reasoning: Rosie's platters are to die for.  Ginger's brings the A1 out with the hash browns *** .  You decide; I refuse to.

(***: that is my weird food thingy; I put steak sauce on all my potatoes -- be it fries, hash browns, or even a loaded baked potato.  Makes that whole shrimp scampi pizza crave a few spots up look more normal, doesn't it?)

7. Score.

Location: 40 Highway and Blue Ridge Cutoff, Kansas City.

Rationale / Reasoning: great food, good music, and yes, you can actually track how cold each keg is on tap, to decide which one you want to imbibe.  Also, this is where we usually "tailgate" for preseason games.  Double also, I know the owner; send some business her way and you won't regret it.

6. Chelly's.

Location: 85th and Wornall, South Waldo.

Rationale / Reasoning: because as (tony the tiger voice) grrrrrrrrreat as some of the places on the Boulevard are ... Chelly's more than holds its' own.

My bowling league group used to go to Coach's after bowling most Wednesday nights prior to this season.  Then Coach's flooded out last July.  We needed a new place.  Given that most of us love Mexican, I suggested they give Chelly's a try.  By mid-January, we were going every Wednesday.

Try the taco combo with black beans.  If only because they make both the way I love them -- the tacos with a fried shell and mozzarella (not cheddar) cheese ... and the black beans with the red onion and cilantro floating on top.  Throw in a margarita and a Corona, and you'll be one happy eater.

5. The Daily Double.

Location: 63rd and Woodson, Raytown.

Rationale / Reasoning: well, admitting up front: don't come for the food.  Because unless you bring your own, or it's a fundraiser / regular's birthday, they don't have any.  But what they do have -- and man, do Sunday nights in the summer and fall rule -- is the best bartender ever in Carla, and the cheapest price on "name your booze here" you're craving you'll ever find.

This is the bar that routinely, a round for the six of us who frequent it (which would be a Coors Light, a Miller Lite, a Mich Ultra, a vodka tonic, and two whiskey and Diets) ... is less than $10, after tip.

(Pause).

I'm frankly stunned this one isn't higher on the list, too.

4. Ollie's.

Location: 31st and Gillham, Martini Corner.

Rationale / Reasoning: it's my favorite bar in Martini Corner, although in the interest of fairness and disclosure, I haven't tried Rock-a-Fire yet, as it just opened two weeks ago.  They have really good appetizers, the burgers look great, and after a long day at the office, few things are better than "The Working Man's Friend" -- their happy hour special.  A beer of your choice, and a shot of your choice, for $4 and change.

3. BB's Lawnside BBQ.

Location: 85th Street between Troost and The Paseo, South KC.

Rationale / Reasoning: this is the third "local" (as in, close enough to walk home if need be) joint for me on this list.  And it's bar none my favorite of those three. 

Lindsey Shannon is still somehow, someway, making this place work six nights a week.  The music is almost always phenomenal.  (BB's signature is live blues most nights of the week.)  There's few better ways to spend a pleasant happy hour in the spring and/or summer, than sitting on the "front porch" with a cold beer and some appetizing wings as, uuh, an appetizer.

I get that this doesn't rate first on most folks' BBQ options here in KC.  (To be honest, it's not mine either; I'm addicted to Q39's Judges Plate.)  But nobody makes better burnt ends than the pit masters at BB's. 

Nobody. 

Throw in an ice cold Pale Ale or Bully Porter with some slow-cooked beans, and it's no wonder I've put on almost 20 pounds **** since moving to Waldo 18 months ago.

(****: I hit 174 on the scale when I looked a couple days ago.  I don't think I've ever weighed in above 170 before.  Who knew that removing a stressful job from your life, would restore your appetite for food, and curb your appetite for whiskey?)

2. Fritz's.

Location: I prefer the original (18th and Grandview, KCK) or Crown Center (22nd and Grand, KCMO).  There's also one off of Shawnee Mission Parkway and Pflumm in Shawnee.

Rationale / Reasoning: because since so many of my closest friends have apparently decided "forget the condom, I want to own the consequences!" and have started having kids, sometimes, you gotta have a "Kids Day".  And there are few better of those than letting the kiddos roam free through Sealand and Legoland down at Crown Center, and then take them across the street to Fritz's ... and see the wonder and awe as that awesome lil' train delivers their food to them.

To say nothing of the complimentary conductor's hat.  They'll throw that in for the kids without you having to get through a dessert on top of dinner!

Which I suppose, brings us (brian mcknight voice) back to one.

And honestly, there can only be one choice, to top this week's list.

(And those of you who know me best, know exactly what it's gonna be ...)

1. Grinders.

Location: 18th and Grand, Crossroads District.  (I refuse to recognize the new Lenexa location, off 103rd and Pflumn.)

Rationale / Reasoning: it's my favorite joint in town, bar none.  The atmosphere is kick ass awesome.  (You haven't lived until you've eaten a couple slices of their pizza ... in an airplane seat.  Get a couple beers in ya?  It will inspire all kinds of questions, trust me.) 

And speaking of beer ***** , they have one pretty solid selection on tap and in the bottle.  Throw in the weekend concerts that usually occur, featuring artists that track towards my flavor of choice ((espanol voca) Por ejemplo: Senor Ben Harper ha realizado alli varias veces; no tengo excusas! ****** / ******* ), and this is a must for any newbie to KC.

Also, the location is perfect.  You're less than a mile via walk or the trolley from Power and Light.  You're less than a mile via walk or the trolley from Crown Center and Union Station.  You're not even two miles via walk or Ride KC from Martini Corner.  And if you drive yourself, there's plenty of parking available by the old KC Star building a couple blocks away.

This is the one place when you visit KC, that you absolutely have to try.

(And if you hate it?  Relax.  The Original Arthur Bryant's -- and the Freight House Jack Stack -- are both barely a mile away.)

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(*****: gun to my head, Bully Porter is still the best beer Boulevard makes.  Grinders features it.)

(******: Mr. Harper will be at the Midland in mid September.  Just sayin'.  (new edition voice) Hit me off; I'm game for it.)

(*******: I tried to re-learn Spanish before going to Puerto Rico last summer.  (I took Spanish in high school, and learned to be decently functional with it living in Texas for a few years, with a Hispanic dude from El Paso.)  

I once again know just enough, to be dangerous ... to myself.  

(Note to self: never drop "tu madre hijo de puta" as a "cumplido" at a "camarero inepto y incompetente" in Fajardo "nunca mas".  That was definitely "no es bueno para mi" ...)

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So that is this week's Thursday Thirteen: my thirteen fourteen hidden jewels in the food and beverage service industry in our fine metropolitan area.  Anyone can take you to Jack Stack or Hereford House.  Give me someone who knows how awesome the western omelet at Ginger's is, or how amazing the lasagna at Sutera's is.  Because that's someone who knows KC at least as well as I do. 

(Or claim to.)

Until next time, as always: (sgt. esterhaus voice) let's be careful out there.

(Or for our "amigos que hablan espanol": "tengamos cuidado" ...)

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