thursday's thoughts

Welcome to Lent! Ugh. This year, I'm giving up soda. No Diet Coke for me for the next 45 days. Yeah, I should be extremely pleasant to be around the next few weeks. With that in mind, let's hit Thursday's Thinkings ...

* everyone's favorite cheater, Eldrick T. Woods, is scheduled to address the media tomorrow. Of course, being Eldrick T., the single most self-centered person not named "Ben" to ever walk the planet, he will (a) only allow a select few media in, (b) will take no questions, and (c) will lie through his teeth about how "sorry he is" and how he "had an addiciton". (As a side note, and this bugs the living hell out of me, my side note is this: how can you possibly NOT be addicted to sex? How is that possible? Its not like taking an ecstacy pill and deciding "you know what, as fun as this is, I'm not sure this is for me". Seriously, how do you recover from a "sex addiction"? Do you no longer have sex? Do you limit yourself to a couple marathon sessions a month? Ban yourself from "reputable singles site" by using something like the 1-888-BETSOFF number bans problem gamblers from area casinos? Someone needs to explain this better. I admit I confuse easily, but seriously, how can someone NOT be addicted to sex? How is this possible?)

Honestly though, I'm glad Eldrick T. is (almost) back. Sports isn't as much fun unless you're rooting AGAINST someone, as well as for someone. I freaking hate Eldrick T. Woods with a passion. In case you didn't know.

* huge, huge, hu-yuge win in Columbia last night. Huge. If MU takes care of business in the games it should win (vs Colorado, at Nebraska, at Iowa State), they're in as at least a 6. Congrats to Mike Anderson and his squad for exceeding any reasonable expectation level. Dammit, I hate seeing rivals competently coached. I freaking hate it. Come back Quin! You're missed!

* Speaking of being missed, I'm already missing Ron Franklin, and its still four weeks until he retires. Rethink it Ron! Big XII hoops and football will never be the same without you!

* Horrid night for the bubble. Northwestern seriously screwed the pooch last night, losing to Big 10 (plus one) doormat Penn State. South Carolina got clocked in Fayetteville by a bad Arkansas team. Rhode Island lost to suddenly surging and intriguing St. Louis. Louisville barely followed up its huge win in the Dome on Sunday, doing its damndest to give the game to a undermanned Notre Dame squad before finally holding on in double overtime.

(The unsung note in this whole "will the A10 get six in" ... is "will the A10 get seven in"? Look at where St. Louis is (17-8 overall, 8-3, tied 3rd A10 standings). Look at their last 10 (7-3, W5, including W's over Rhode Island and Dayton), and they still host Xavier and Temple, in addition to a potential play-in finale at Dayton. Intriguing team to keep an eye on, especially if the power six conference bubble teams keep crapping all over themselves. And yes, I'm fully aware a mid-major conference ain't getting seven teams in. But certainly five is realistic, and six if, again, the power conference bubble teams keep tripping over themselves. Like with the Valley back in 2006, they got five in and it should have been six, Missouri State got raped by the committee. And of course, two Valley teams reached the Sweet 16 that year, proving once again that a solid mid-major team is almost always a better selection pick than an average power six team.)

* Big Bubble games tonight: Marquette hosting Pitt, a chance for a huge statement win for the Warriors. Minnesota hosting Wisconsin in a virtual must-win game. Florida hosting Auburn in the same situation, win or prepare to try to win four times in four days in the conference tourney. And not even God can figure out what games matter in the horrid Pac 10, but if Cal doesn't win the conference tourney, you have to figure they're the Pac 10's only shot for an at-large, so it might behoove the Bears to win tonight at Oregon State.

* No, I haven't forgotten everyone's favorite ongoing storyline. (OK, my favorite ongoing storyline) Will North Carolina qualify for the NIT!!! The Heels now sit at 14-12, 3-8 ACC following Tuesday's demolition in Atlanta to Georgia Tech. The Heels have to go 2-4 in their last six to reach the .500 qualification. They close at BC / vs FSU / at Wake / vs Miami / at Duke / ACC first round game. Realistically, you can write off roadies at Wake and Duke, they ain't winning those, especially at Duke on Senior Night for my boy Jon Scheyer. Florida State is in a dogfight for an at-large berth (19-7 overall, 7-5 conf), they'll give UNC all they can handle. And yes, BC is down, but they've knocked off Clemson at home, nearly beat Duke last weekend, and scared Wake and Virginia Tech on the road. Even the worst of teams should be able to handle Miami. I'll say they finish 2-3 at best, putting them at 16-15 entering the ACC tourney. They're looking at opening in the 8/9 or 7/10 game, likely against Virginia (currently 8th) or Georgia Tech (currently 7th). Carolina is 0-3 against those two teams this year. Dare we dream? That UNC isn't even good enough to qualify for the NIT?

* Speaking of everyone's favorite items ... Steve's Mancrush on Jon Scheyer everyone!!! Yeah, he whizzed on the court for 35 minutes last night, shooting only 3-15 overall, scoring 15 points. But -- but! -- he hit a huge, (bill raftery voice) ONIONS! three pointer with the score at 58-57 with a little under 6 to go, then drained another three right after that to push the lead to five. He then followed that up with a steal, and went 4 for 4 at the line down the stretch, to help close out Duke's escape in Miami. Its the "Sherron Collins" theory -- the good ones don't necessarily have a huge game every night, but they usually come through when it matters. Collins looked like dog crap for 37 minutes Monday night, and yet he took over down the stretch. (Side note: Bob Knight, sweet Jesus, what an idiot broadcaster. Openly questioning why KU was milking the clock, up three, with a minute left. Gee Bob, I can't imagine why you'd bleed the shot clock there. And poor Brent Musburger. He deserves much better than the General as his broadcasting partner.)

* I don't care what it cost. The Knicks HAD to make the McGrady deal. When every move you've made for 18 months has been with one stated goal in mind (have a sh*tload of cap room for free agency 2010), and the Rockets not only are willing to give you a $23 million expiring deal, but you can ALSO move the anvil-like contract of Jared Jeffries, you HAVE to do it. You HAVE to. You can't commit to a process and then wimp out four months early.

And yeah, I am fully aware that if LBJ doesn't come to New York, the entire plan is a failure, and there is no future in the immediate horizon. To which I say, so? The Knicks haven't had a future, or hope, or any reasonable playoff hopes, let alone championship hopes, since Jeff Van Gundy and Dave Checketts were calling the shots pre 9/11. The Knicks HAD to make this deal, even if it costs them essentially two first rounders, and three lottery picks. They HAD to do it.

* Best of luck to George Karl, the Nuggets coach now battling throat cancer. I've always liked Karl, dating back to his fun-as-hell Sonics teams in the mid 1990s. Here's hoping for the best George.

* Apparently pitchers and catchers reported in Surprise yesterday. Dusty tried to engage me in a Royals conversation at lunch, and I have to be honest: I couldn't identify four starters on this team. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I have NEVER been less excited for a baseball season, than I am for this one.

* One correction from Tuesday: Seth Davis writes for si.com. He works for CBS, which owns sportsline.com. Got my .com's mixed up. Sorry about that.

* Team USA wins their opener against the Swiss. Norway today. Canada awaits Sunday in a big-time gut-check game. More appointment television.

* Curling is the most addictive sport on television. Put it this way -- you know its addicting when a certain former roommate and I are counting down the minutes to lunch, so we can duck out for an hour, head back to his place, and fire up the TV to watch curling.

* The men's figure skating Tuesday night was pretty damned impressive. The evil Russian Plushenko has a .55 point lead on the good American Even Lysacek entering tonight's finale, with plenty of drama on tap. (USA's Johnny Weir is in striking distance in 6th). Hopefully Evan takes the words of everyone's favorite Colorado residents to heart tonight:

"What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right now?
He'd make a plan and he'd follow through!
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!

When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics
Skating for the gold,
He did two saucow's and a triple lutz
While wearing a blindfold!

When Brian Boitano was in the Alps
Fighting Grizzley Bears
He used his magical firebreath
And saved the maidens fair ...

So what would Brian Boitano do
If he was here today?
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two!!!
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!!!"

Kick an ass or two tonight guys. (And gals. Except for that Lindsey Jacobellis, she pisses me off for some reason. Showboating nobody. How about you actually win something before making a spectacle of yourself, ok?)

* Yes, I am way too into the Winter Olympics. But, I did manage to carve out a couple hours Tuesday night for ...

* Lost! My thoughts on the Locke-centric episode "The Substitute":

The Island story got better. Unlike last week's episode, there seemed to be a purpose to it this week. Plus we didn't waste 20 minutes debating the ethics of torture. Good God, they cannot wrap up the Sayid story soon enough. Just put a f*cking bullet in his brain and be done with it. We get it. He was supposed to die in the pool and he didn't. So finish the job already. Good grief, there (was? is?) a friggin nuclear bomb on the Island, you mean someone doesn't have a .45 available that can get the job done?

Frank Lapidus is just about the funniest character this show's ever developed. His jokes at the burial of Locke's corpse was hysterical. Ditto Ben's eulogy for Locke body. "Sorry I killed you". Classic.

We sure are seeing a lot of Rose this year. Considering she was a back story character for most of the first five seasons, I wonder if that means something ...

I don't think Smokey is the cave's owner. I think he's its co-owner. Notice all the games of chess and backgammon, the fact that there's a table with two chairs, and of course, the white and black rock on the scales of justice. You gotta figure he shared that place with Jacob. Having said that ...

I think the huge reveal, that the numbers do have a purpose, I believe Smokey / Fake Locke when he says that part of the cave was all Jacob. I also think Sawyer is running the con jobs of all con jobs on Fake Locke, when choosing the third option Fake Locke laid out. Sawyer doesn't want to go home. What is he going home to? A life of crime, on the run from the law? Its one reason why he was so willing to jump out of the Oceanus 6 helicopter and stay behind when the thing was tanking at the end of season 4. There's nothing in that life for him. The Island is his life.

Speaking of the numbers, I also liked how its still ambiguous. Notice Smokey / Fake Locke crossed out Locke (because he's dead). I also thought I saw him cross out Sayid (indicating he's gonzo soon, hopefully). But we don't know if 42 is Jin or Sun (or the most interesting theory I've heard, that its their kid), and 23 could be Jack ... but it could be Aaron or Claire, both of whom are from the Shephard line. Plus, Shephard = 23. Even the most non-religious among us know that Psalm 23 is "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want".

I also like how they're showing Sawyer's grief for Juliet. If I just lost the love of my life, I'd probably go on a whiskey bender and forget to put on my pants too. Wait, that's not true -- I'd go on a vodka bender, not whiskey. But I'd definitely forget my pants.

I still love the flash-sideways a helluva lot more than the on-Island stuff though. Everything about Locke's new reality won me over last night, right down to him picking up the phone, calling Jack on that one-in-a-million chance that maybe he could be healed ... and then deciding the 999,999 out of 1,000,000 odds were his reality. His destiny if you will, was to be in that chair. He knew it. Something in him told him not to change what didn't need to be changed.

Only fourteen hours of appointment television to go. And I gotta hand it to Team Darlton -- we wanted answers? We got 'em, at a shockingly fast pace. MIB = Fake Locke = smoke monster. Smokey is the one who's been appearing as the dead previous characters, to manipulates the Losties to do what he wants (i.e. as Alex to get Ben to kill Jacob, as Christian to get Locke to turn the wheel and stop the time travel). We find out what the numbers mean, or at least why they're important, what they stand for. We're getting both a (so far, completely unsatisfying) conclusion to Island life, and we're getting a (so far, completely captivating) look at what could have been. Season six so far gets the Steve Seal of Approval.

* Late breaking news -- the BuKCs have made a deal! John Salmons coming from Chicago to Milwaukee. BuKCs give up Hakim Warrick (thank God, I'm sick of cheering for that bastard) and Joe Alexander (a spectacular bust as the number eight pick two years ago). So we weaken the team we're chasing for the last playoff berth, strengthen ourselves, AND carve out some more room under the cap to ensure we don't enter luxury tax territory come July when the cap and tax go down again? Steve Seal of Approval.

* And another deal -- BuKCs send Jodie Meeks and filler to the 76ers for filler and a 2nd round pick. Basically, the BuKCs get a do-over, since Meeks was a 2nd rounder last year. So looking ahead, you have two key pieces in place for the next decade (C - Bogut, PG - Jennings). You have Redd's expiring contract that you can deal next spring. And now, you've got three picks in a pretty decent draft, two of them inside the top 40. I like the direction this is headed. (Especially if one of those picks turns into a certain 6'5" guard who happens to wear number 30 for the Blue Devils).

* A few other things I forgot to mention Tuesday, that either I remember now, or were pointed out to me:

Dick Button's priceless interview with Al Michaels. They haul footage out from the vault of Michaels and Button at Michaels' first Olympics, in 1972. Button sits patiently through the clip, and then drops the "even back then, your rug looked bad" blast at Al. Al was seething. I was rolling on the floor, trying to avoid whatever that thing on Al's head is. Seriously, Al. Give Joe Biden a call. He can put you in touch with a decent plug-ologist.

The new "We Are the World" is ... uuh ... trying to be respectful here ... its a gigantic pile of guano. Only Ace Ventura isn't out to save it. Look it, I appreciate the effort and the reasoning behind the remake, but why in the hell does Hollywood (or any industry for that matter) keep screwing with the classics? Why? I don't want a "We Are the World" without Lionel Richie opening, without Bruce and Ray Charles rocking out near the end, and without Dan Aykroyd somehow scoring a starring role!

And don't even get me started on this A-Team movie. Another original that can never, ever, EVER be topped. Although speaking of the A-Team, I was driving home from bowling last night, and landed on America Right (conservative talk show station) on the XM Radio. The dude's show that was on was Rusty Humphries, who I have never listened to a day in my life. But Rusty wasn't on. Oh no. In his place last night was the one, the only ... Howling Mad Murdock! Yup, THE Dwight Schultz was guest hosting. And I gotta admit, he was pretty damned entertaining. I think we can put Dwight in the rare 8.5% of conservatives who actually believe what they vote, as opposed to the 91.5% that vote and talk and act conservative because some shyster behind a pulpit told them to do it.

(And yes, I listen to conservative talk radio. For three reasons. One, its entertaining as hell. Two, you can't have your own beliefs reinforced unless they're challenged. And three, I'm not completely off the reservation, there are some issues I lean to the right on.)

Well hell, now that I'm off into politics, its been a week since I offended anyone, so ...

* Joe Biden vs Dick Cheney! Poor Dick. The world has passed him by, he has zero credibility to anyone with a functioning brain, yet he still thinks he's relevant and has a point to make. Dick, pal, take it from me. You don't. Sure, Biden is the class clown, but that makes Cheney the class's arrogant prick that raises his hand for every question whether he knows the answer or not. Everyone loves the clown, even if he's a little off. Nobody loves that guy who always butts in.

* I had to laugh at the Politico article that noted "for the most part, Democrats seem content to tie Republicans to (Dick) Cheney ..." Really? Its about time someone at the DNC uses the brains God gave them.

* KCMO should absolutely close half of its schools, as proposed by whoever the hell is the latest in the rotating door of superintendents. The Star is dead on accurate (for once) on this issue. Forget the fact that the KCMO school district is a national joke, that other than "I can't afford to live anywhere else", there is no valid reason to send your kids to a KCMO school, and even ignore the ridiculous program schools the district offers that ultimately do nothing to prepare a kid for the real world. The bottom line is that district enrollment is down nearly 50% in the last 15 years. Those kids ain't coming back until you completely overhaul your failed system. Getting rid of the worst performing teachers, and shutting down the poorest performing schools, is a damned good place to start.

(And yes, I am strongly pro-NEA ... but at some point, enough is enough. We've all had teachers that had zero, zip, nada business being in the teaching profession. I recall one my junior year of high school, our English teacher, who admitted on day one that he was "dyslexic", that he "wasn't a disciplinarian", and that he "wanted to be friends" with his students. Oh, and from the "not even Steve can make this sh*t up" department -- he somehow got a stick rammed into his eye ... and didn't seek medical attention for it, because he believed that Jesus would heal him. Needless to say, that guy didn't last the year. Nor should he have. I mean seriously, a dyslexic person teaching junior English? How the hell does that happen? To say nothing of letting your eye rot from a stick poke. And yes, you're damned right we pranked the guy pretending to be from the American Dyslexic Society. How Jasson kept a straight face on that phone call I will never know. Oh, and we also always said his name backwards in honor of his disability. Mot Kcived. Oh my, am I spending a sh*t ton of time in pergatory someday ...)

* School decisions closer to home for me, the Hickman Mills district (which I live in) is closing one of the two high schools. In this case though, its a tough, tough call. On the one hand, Hickman Mills High is new, modern, has better facilities, yada yada yada. On the other hand, Ruskin has the history, and the sports complex. Flip a coin, I'm not sure there's a right or wrong decision to be made there.

* So a plane crashes into the IRS building in Austin, and authorities think it was intentional? No ...

* Bowling update: the irritating, annoying, grumpy old dude who wakes up pissed off at the world and goes downhill from there? He quit the league! So the fun quotient just went up by 3.44%! team tito split its games last night, taking game 2 and overall pin count. We're solidly in 8th place, solidly buried 13 games under .500. On the bright side, nobody has tossed a bowling ball in anger at a fellow teammate in two months, so we've got that going for us.

* dingy!

* finally, I'm a sucker for a good mind-boggling story, and msnbc.com had one this morning. There are approximately 7,000 athletes in the Olympic villages. Canadian authorities pre-ordered 100,000 condoms for the athletes, an astonishing nearly 14-1 ratio. That's insane enough. What more nuts ... is that there's an additional 20,000 condoms ready to be shipped in "in case they're needed". Holy Lord. I so missed my calling in life. I can be a curler! Pick me! Pick me! I swear, I can totally aim the rock and take it to the house ...