scheyer, olympics, and "o canada ..."

What a weekend! Between (arguably) the worst Daytona 500 I've ever watched, KU nearly crapping their pants in College Station last night, and my brother's neighbor plowing into my car during the blizzard like conditions on Sunday afternoon, I can honestly say, (peter griffin after suffering his stroke voice) I've had better days Lois. I've had better days.

Still, there's a lot to ramble about, beginning with:

* Jon Scheyer! Holy God, if my mancrush on this kid gets any bigger, I might fit right in on the Duke campus. (ka boom boom ching!) Its probably not healthy to have an obsession with a 6'5" white guy who plays for Duke, but oh well, it is what it is. He had a monster game Saturday against Maryland, launching Duke two clear of the ACC field with 5 to go. I like their chances at this point. The drive-to-the-bucket, then reverse-underneath-backhanded-layup while getting mugged, to all but end any Maryland hopes of a comeback, was one of the sickest, sweetest plays of the season so far.

I'm already drooling over the hopes Mr. Scheyer will be wearing number 30 for our Milwaukee BuKCs next year. He'd fill the Michael Redd role perfectly, at about 1/10th the cost. Let's make this happen, John Hammond.

* Tough, tough, uuh ... tough, loss for MU on Saturday. To trail all day, rally from down 5 with 1:06 to go and grab the lead with :43 to go (and it was an intentional foul on the Baylor kid. That's about as textbook a definition of intentional foul as you'll ever see. Not really going for the ball? check. Mugged player into stands? check. Head coach soils himself in frustration over legitimate call? check), to trail, then rally, only to see a friggin tip-in with 1.3 seconds to go derail the comeback. Tough. Still, if MU wins two of its big three (vs Texas, at KSU, vs KU), they're in.

* KSU number six? Number six? I feel like that old chick in "Gone With the Wind" as Sherman's troops start raining cannonballs on Atlanta -- "Yankees in Georgia! How did they ever get here!?!?" KSU a top six program? Top four right now thanks to Villanova and Syracuse somehow losing at home to Big East also rans? Dear God. KSU hoops a legitimate, Final Four threat? Its been 22 years since that was reality, and nobody on this KSU team is even half as talented as Mitch Richmond was. (And while Frank Martin's done a great job this year, he ain't Lon Kruger).

* In the media mock bracket, I see Seth Davis of sportsline.com calls Tennessee "the scariest six seed in history". Uuh, Seth? I believe a six seed has won this damned thing before. 1988. Might want to check that out.

* Didn't catch a second of Saturday night's KU game. Sorry. You put Chuck Barkley on uncensored for an All Star competition, I'm tuning in. Speaking of which ...

* That was the sorriest NBA All Star Saturday Night I have ever watched. And I think the last one of those I missed was in 1982. Nate Robinson should be embarrassed to be the "Slam Dunk Champ". The entire contest was horrendous. The skills (excuse me, skillz), the Skillz Competition nearly bored me to sleep. The three point contest was ok, but if Paul Pierce is your champ, "sh*tty contestants" has to be the reason why.

* Also didn't catch much of KU on Monday night. I'll get into the reason why in a special segment below, entitled "The Single Coolest Thing I've Seen This Year by Someone Not Named Jon Scheyer".

* Sunday, spent the day at the brother's watching the Olympics, NASCAR, and a snowstorm that caused not one, not two, not even three ... wait, let me do this right.

(old school snl commercial voice)
(announcer) how many bowls of your old cereal do you think it would take to match the fiber content in Colon Blow?
(phil hartman) one?
(announcer) try again.
(phil hartman) two?
(announcer) I'll give you one more guess.
(phil hartman) three.
(announcer) not even close.

Yup, four friggin multi-car wrecks, and not just your three and four car pile-up variety. Actual scene at 3pm in my brother's family room:

(steve) (watching olympics)
(channel 41) (interrupts for special breaking news coverage)
(steve) dammit! Its just snow guys! This isn't channel 5! You don't go away from the Olympics for a f*cking snow flake!
(channel 41 reporter) we want to take you live to I-70 ...
(steve) holy crap! There's like, 50 cars in that wreck! Sweet!

Of course, once my car got a hole the size of a fist punched in its front bumper, I wasn't as "sweet!" as when it was someone else's car. But still. Its not every day you see four wrecks on the same day involving almost 130 cars between the four of them.

* The opening ceremony was pretty neat. Not nearly as jaw-droppingly impressive as Beijing, but there were two moments I loved. First, the chick who did "O Canada". I can't imagine the pressure on that girl. To nail it, I mean nail it, at 16 years of age? With the world watching? (bill raftery voice) Grapefruits!

The other musical choices, in a word: inspired. Sarah McLaughlin was en fuego. kd lang nailed "Hallelujah" out of the friggin stadium.

The other thing I liked was the torch malfunctioning. Uuh, three legs when there should be four = goof up. I felt bad for the parapalegic who didn't have a leg to light. (thank you, thank you. I'm here all week).

* That bi-athlon event was just crazy. I mean, to ski 5 kilometers overland, then have to load a rifle, hit 5 targets in a bullseye (or ski a penalty lap for each miss), then ski 5 more kilometers, then repeat the "hit the bullseye" deal, then ski 5 more kilometers to the finish? Even Al Trautwig sounded exhausted by the midpoint. I was tired just watching it. Like skiing in a freaking blizzard for 15 kilometers isn't enough of a workout, you gotta carry an air rifle on your back, and somehow compose yourself enough to hit the bullseye 10 different times! That's my kind of competition!

* Another event I loved yesterday, the downhill snowboard deal. Its like Mario Kart on a ski slope. Just awesome to watch, four snowboarders trying to avoid clipping each other, flying down a hill at 90mph. Yeah, that's safe. (And entertaining as hell!)

* The pairs skating. Again, if the mancrush on Scheyer didn't knock me into the (brian griffin voice) gay! category, my love of the figure skating probably will. Watching the Russians last night completely implode was beyond awesome. Seriously, if that chick had fallen down one more time, she might have cracked the ice. Didn't agree with the winners though. The first Chinese couple was flawless. The second pair, he damned near dropped her on the next to final lift. (Technically, he did drop her, but she at least landed on her feet). First Chinese couple should have won. The German pair was funny to watch too, their short program they came out in makeup and skated to clown music. The stuff you can't make up.

* Best choice of music though, to the pair from (I forget which) some former Soviet republic (I think it was Belarus) who came out and skated to the theme from "Love Story". Turns out, they're divorced. Nice. Love really does mean never having to say you're sorry, I guess.

* Speaking of saying you're sorry ... Al Michaels. Dear God, what is that thing on his head? In HD, you can almost hear it purring. You'd think someone as well connected as Al could find a decent plug-ologist for the hair. Hell, even Biden's head looked spectacular compared to Al's. (And Jill Biden, holy lord. If she's not the hottest Second Lady ever. 60 and she could pass for 35. Beautiful).

* Nice to see the Olympics are beneath Barry. Wouldn't want to show up to support the troops, would we Mr. President? Of course, considering the Olympic committee basically de-pantsed His Excellency in Copenhagen last year, I guess I understand why he didn't show.

Finally ...

* "The Single Coolest Thing I've Seen This Year by Someone Not Named Jon Scheyer":

Alex Bilodeux. The Canadian mogul skier who (finally) brought Canada gold on its home turf.

The actual victory run was awesome to watch on Sunday night. Its not often I root for a foreigner. I was completely behind this guy from the moment he made his first run. The last run, to vault him from also ran to the lead, just awesome, absolutely awesome, to watch. (To say nothing of Jonny Moseley having an orgasm on air during the run and the review. In Jonny's defense, I was digging the performance every bit as much as he was).

What was really, really cool though ... was the backstory of this guy presented on Monday, and then the medal ceremony. You know going in this ceremony is going to blow the roof off the building. NBC did a PHENOMENAL job setting this thing up. The backstory had me in tears (Alex's brother suffers from cerebral palsey, and after he fell in Torino four years ago, blowing a medal, the person most inspiring him to get up and keep trying, to go back to work, was said brother. Neat. Also, Sunday night after the gold medal run, the first person Alex charged the stands for was his brother. I got chills just watching it.)

So finally, the medal ceremony. Once you get past Bob Costas nearly blowing the moment by speaking way too much, once Bob finally shuts up and lets the ceremony take over, just watch Alex's face. Sure, listening to the crowd in the background, drowning out the music with "O Canada"'s lyrics, is pretty inspirational. But I'm a sucker for folks who live in the moment, people who aren't afraid to show emotion.

Watch Alex's face as the Canadian anthem sings along. The look on his face is everything that the Olympics are about. Just watch from his arrival (respectful, subdued), to receiving the medal (its beginning to sink in ...), to the start and first half of the Canadian anthem (the "holy sh*t I did it!" face creeps in), and then the finish (singing along with everyone else in pure joy).

The best moments are at the 4:52 mark (where the weight of the moment first shows up, the smile, then he starts to sing along, only he can't because he's fighting back the tears), the 5:07 mark (the self-knowing smile of accomplishing something greater than you ever could have dreamed possible, the single most underrated moment in sports in my rarely-humble opinion), and the 5:46 mark (where he stops singing, breaks into this huge, goofy ass grin, and just soaks the moment in.) And then of course, the collective orgasm of the crowd as the Anthem dies down. "O Canada! We stand on GUARD! (da da da da da) FOR! (da da da da da) THEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm telling you, I can't stop rewatching this thing. Its beyond captivating. It perfectly captures why I love sports so much.

I've always thought the single coolest medal ceremony ever was 1980 at Lake Placid, the US Men's hockey team. When Eruzione called up the entire team to stand on the podium with him, and somehow the entire damned team fit up there as 18,000 strong roared The Star Spangled Banner.

After last night, we've at least got a tie at the top of the Medal-o-Meter rankings. Job well done Alex.

(fist pump!) Job friggin well done!