I spent my weekend watching a ridiculous amount of hoops, mostly college, since the season is really beginning to hit its stride.
And after listening to countless Big East, Big XII, and SEC games, plus a few NBA showdowns, it hit me.
The state of announcing in this country is a full on crisis. Seriously, if President Obama wants to intervene in the sports world, forget the BCS. Get rid of the BS in the broadcast booth.
In the past month, we've witnessed the abortion that was FOX broadcasting the BCS. We've had to endure Cris Collinsworth and Tom Hammond butcher a playoff game. We've had to sit through "Hello Friends" out of Jim Nantz way too many times. (Although to be fair, I don't mind Nantz. He's rock solid on golf coverage. But Phil Simms, yikes. Brutally bad).
But the final straw was yesterday, sitting down on my couch at 11am to watch the Orange in a huge game against Louisville ... and to see the frozen-in-time face of Don Criqui welcome me to central New York. Don Criqui? Really? THIS is the best the Big East can do, is a never-was-decent retread? (And poor Bob Wenzel, a decent color guy stuck with Criqui on this one. Poor Bob.) Criqui actually wondered out loud why Pitino hadn't been credited with a national title as a Big East coach. Apparently Don doesn't realize that Kentucky is in the SEC.
So Barry, its time to tackle the crisis of announcing. In a hurry. CBS gave you the blueprint last summer by kicking Billy Packer to the curb. Just follow the example they set and start cleaning house.
Until then, here are 10 announcing crews that are worth the effort of tuning in to hear.
Honorable Mention (because they no longer are an announcing crew): ABC / ESPN's IndyCar crew (Bob Jenkins, Larry Rice, Jason Priestley). These guys were awesome in the early days of IndyCar racing. Bob Jenkins (thank God) is back on the broadcasts this year. He also is the new voice of Indy, replacing the retiring Tom Carnegie. I love Bob Jenkins. Jason Priestley (and yes, it is THE Jason Priestley) was shockingly good as the third man in the booth. Larry Rice was the comedic relief, which every booth needs. If you ever get a chance, pop in the tape of the 2001 summer IRL race at Texas. Its the best 2 hours of racing I've ever witnessed, and these three absolutely nail it. "Look at this, three abreast!" For 2 straight hours, Scott Sharp, Greg Ray and Eddie Cheever Jr ran three wide at 220 plus mph ... and somehow held the lines. For two straight hours. Its the best race I've ever seen, like I said. And these guys drilled the broadcast. Too bad Priestley decided to take up driving instead of sticking to broadcasting, he had a future in the booth.
10. NBC's golf crew (Dan Hicks, Johnny Miller, Roger Maltbie, Mark Rolfing). I would listen to these guys comment on paint drying. They do a great job of selling the drama (seriously, catch the Golf Channel's replay of the Woods / Mediate playoff in the Open last year, its four hours of brilliance). Johnny Miller holds nothing back. Mark Rolfing is rarely wrong in predicting a shot. And Roger Maltbie is the crazy drunk uncle that provides hours of comic relief. I'm not a huge Dan Hicks fan, but he's kind of the voice of reason, so he gets a mention. Too bad the PGA can't mandate these guys calling every tournament.
9. Dallas Cowboys radio team (Brad Sham, Babe Laufenberg). The best PBP team in the NFL. And that includes the networks. Sham is as rock solid as they come, and Babe can break any play down and make it understandable to the listener -- not easy to do when you're on the radio. Thanks to the magic of satellite radio, you can catch every Cowboys broadcast on your Sirius receiver. Well worth it.
8. ABC's top NBA team (Mike Breen, Mark Jackson, Jeff Van Gundy). The best network NBA crew ever? They're certainly up there. Breen is awesome. (He also does Knicks games on MSG, alternating with Gus Johnson). But I love the interaction of Jackson and Van Gundy. You get the game broken down both from a players and a coach's perspective. And the results are usually neat, like yesterday, when they broke down the Spurs defensive issues as the first half drew to a close. Van Gundy explained what Popovich was attempting to have his guys do ... and Jackson showed how the execution was pitiful. Good stuff. Keep it up guys.
7. ESPN's ACC duo (Mike Patrick, Dick Vitale). I'm not a big Vitale fan ... unless he's got ACC duty with Mike Patrick. These two together, its like sitting in a bar and calling the game with some friends. You get a few loopy moments, you go off on a few tangents, but at the end of the day, you've just spent two hours thoroughly enjoying yourself. That's Patrick and Vitale on an ACC broadcast. Its why the ACC tournament rocks. These guys clearly enjoy themselves on the air, and it helps the viewer enjoy the broadcast.
6. ESPN's Big East crew (Sean McDonough, Bill Raftery, Jay Bilas). I used to hate Sean McDonough when he did CBS's baseball broadcasts back in the day. But he's found his niche with the college game (he's great every June on the College World Series as well). Jay Bilas is an annoying little prick, but he's still a very intelligent commentator who adds a lot to the broadcast, especially with his ability to see a play before it unfolds. And Bill ... I freaking love Bill Raftery. Onions! Lingerie ... on the deck! And of course ... well, I'll save that for his next appearance on this countdown.
5. ESPN's Big XII backup crew (Terry Gannon, Stephen Bardo). Yeah, they're buried as the C or D broadcast crew ... but Saturday's broadcast of KU / Iowa State was just hysterical. Gannon is a seasoned pro, and usually has a firm grasp on what's going on. As opposed to Bardo, who just blurts out whatever he's thinking, regardless of whether it makes sense or not. Really, the only way a Bardo broadcast could get better, is if they paired him with Mike Patrick. Consider these beauties from Saturday's broadcast:
* "he scratched his leg" -- for a questionable foul call on Iowa State.
* "he took a 2x4 to him!" -- describing an intentional foul.
* "you have to love a 12-0 run if you're a coach"
* "(ISU coach) Greg McDermott has to be pleased so far" -- said as ISU took the floor down 6, at home, to an unranked opponent to open the 2nd half.
* "I need a blow" -- describing a guy who is gassed on the court.
* "they're running upstream" -- describing the ISU comeback attempt.
And I'm sure I'm missing at least half a dozen other laugh out loud moments. Seriously, this broadcast was just golden. I can't wait to hear next week's excursion.
4. CBS's SEC football crew (Verne Lundquist, Gary Danielson). One of the two NCAA football broadcasting crews I'll tune in to listen to, even if I don't give a crap about who's playing. It probably helps that they usually get a great game every week to broadcast, but man, these guys sell the game like nobody else. Their broadcast of LSU / Alabama this year was an absolute treat. Four hours of fun. Which is what a broadcast should be: convey the joy of sport to the audience, while explaining the images or sounds that they see and hear. Verne does this better than anyone.
(More on Verne still to come).
3. ABC's NCAA football crew (Brad Nessler, Bob Griese, Paul Maguire). These guys are good for 4-5 laugh out loud moments a week. The "let's put Paul somewhere entertaining and have him broadcast" technique is awesome. One week he's on the camera cart. The next week he's on the sideline. For one game this year he was in a suite in the end zone. These guys play off each other really well too, again, like three friends sitting in a bar, zinging one liners at each other as they enjoy what they're watching. Fun in the booth matters a lot to me. I know enough about the sports that I watch, that I don't need three straight hours of technical analysis.
2. USA's WWE top crew ("Good Ol JR" Jim Ross, Jerry "The King" Lawler). How can you NOT love these guys? I haven't watched wrestling regularly for a while now. But every Monday, if I flip through the channels, I still settle in on USA for a little while, just to hear the soothing tones of these two. "The King" is one of the best in the business with the quip and rapid comeback, and JR's over-the-top selling of the sport is just awesome. Especially the inevitable moment every week when HHH gets the strategically placed sledgehammer from underneath the ring to use on a hapless opponent. I love these two. Too bad the XFL didn't stick around, they weren't bad on football play by play either.
But one crew stands out above all others, on any level, in any sport ...
1. CBS's number two NCAA hoops team (Verne Lundquist, Bill Raftery). These two separate have already appeared three times in this countdown. Its only fitting they grab the top spot.
Raftery is awesome. I live for that moment in March, when the tip goes up, and you get the "Verne Lundquist! (insert team here) is opening in the ... MANTOMAN!" And he can adapt too -- the KU / Syracuse second rounder in 2001, when KU won the tip, you got the "Verne Lundquist! Syracuse opens in the ... MANTOMAN! with zone principles".
But Verne ... I don't even know where to begin with Verne. I freaking love this guy.
I didn't even mention his awesome coverage of my favorite hole in golf, Rosewood. The 16th at Augusta, every spring. Seriously, think back on the three best Masters of the last 20 some odd years, and what key moment stands out at each? 1986, Jack Nicklaus drilling the putt to go one up on Ballesteros. Who had the call? Verne, whose ecstatic "YES SIR! There you have it!" has resonated for the last 20 plus years. 2005, Tiger Woods with the 50 foot second shot to hold off DiMarco. "Oh my Goodness! OH MY GOODNESS! WOW!" (And 2004, Nantz actually showing a pulse for once, "is it his time? YES!" as Mickelson birdied 18 to finally win a major).
Verne made non-Olympics figure skating watchable back in the day. He and Scott Hamilton absolutely sold the sport, even to people like me that only tune in for a couple nights every four years to watch the sport.
And Verne has a great sense of humor. He and Hamilton once appeared on a classic episode of "Roseanne", the episode where Roseanne and Jackie take a job as the sample pusher in the supermarket (its one of my 3 or 4 favorite episodes from the series). They appear in the closing credits in a hysterical commentating moment announcing the new Olympic sport of "sock skating". Verne: "And here is Mark Healey, from Lanford, Illinois. Going for the fridge ... he's going to try the difficult open-the-bottle-on-the-counter-edge routine ... and the big finish, a turning shotgun of the beer ... wonderful!"
Anyways, there's my 10 crews that can call any sport, anywhere, anytime, anyplace. Now let's work on getting more guys like the ones above, and less like the washed up garbage currently clogging our airwaves (and yes, I include this weekend's Super Bowl crew in the "washed up garbage" category ...)
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