(Note up front: this is without question the longest post I've ever written that wasn't a live blog. It was 19 pages in Microsoft Word when I was composing it. Yikes).
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I have finally, after almost a month, and numerous late nights of reading, finished "The Book of Basketball" by the Sports Guy.
And I have to say, as one of the three original NBA die-hards in this town ... it rocks.
But my favorite chapter / section, is chapter four, the "What If's" section.
What if this had happened? What if this hadn't happened?
And so ... today's post is, Kansas City related sports "What If's"?
(Note: this post took me 5 days to write. And I only had 10 "what if's" in it. To do 33 like The Sports Guy does in his book, PLUS redefine the Hall of Fame, PLUS recount "the lost years" of the NBA, PLUS break down every MVP season in the league's history, AND to have the postlogue interview with the greatness that is Villiam Valton ... holy Lord, this book was incredible. A MUST READ for anyone who considers themselves even a casual fan of professional hoops).
10. Of all the "what ifs" about to appear, save for number one, this one intrigues me the most.
As a biased hoops observer, I can make a legitimate argument that for the first half of the decade, the Big XII was the nation's best conference. Or at the very least, the nation's most balanced conference.
From 2000-2004, Big XII teams appeared in 9 Elite 8's (out of 40 spots). They appeared in 5 Final Fours (out of 20 spots). Best of all, a stunning six difference conference teams reached the Elite 8 in that five year stretch. The ACC can brag about its big two, big three ... but no way does the ACC go six deep over a five year stretch. No way. The Big XII did. Iowa State, Oklahoma, Texas, Oklahoma State, and Kansas all made at least one Elite 8 appearance, and all but Iowa State reached at least one Final Four in this five year stretch.
The sixth team to reach an Elite 8 in that five year stretch? "What if" Number 10.
What if MU had beaten Oklahoma in the 2002 West Regional Final? (They lost by 6, 81-75).
Forgot about this golden nugget? A Missouri Tiger team that underachieved all season, somehow put together a late run to steal a 12 seed. The last at-large team in the field. This team was friggin loaded with talent. Clarence Gilbert, Kareem Rush, Rickey Paulding, Keyon Dooling. They blew through Miami (FL) and Ohio State, and survived UCLA, to reach the West Regional Final against an OU team that had just beat them two weeks earlier in the Big XII Tourney final.
That OU team had some talent too, led by Edjuardo Najera and Hollis Price. The Sooners won the Big XII tourney, scored a two seed in the West, and coasted (as they should) to two easy victories. Then they blew out a damned good Arizona team in the Sweet 16 to set up the all-Big XII regional final.
OU wound up winning the rubber match (MU won the regular season battle) by a few points.
But what if MU had won? A bucket here, a bucket there ... what if MU had won?
What we do know is this -- both head coaches were gone within three years of this game. And neither one left with his dignity intact. Both left amid NCAA investigations, rumors of "lack of institutional control", and neither coach will be running a D1 team again in my lifetime. Stunning given how the first few years of the decade played out.
But what if MU had won this game? Would Quin Snyder have felt as compelled as he did to recruit questionable character guys in an attempt to win big? Would Ricky Clemons have ever stepped foot on the MU campus? Remember, MU didn't fall apart overnight. With the core still intact, MU won the Big XII Tourney, scored a six seed, and took eventual Final Four participant Marquette to overtime before falling in the second round in 2003. They opened the 2004 season ranked in the top three. If MU makes the Final Four in 2002, does Quin get a "do-over" for that 2004 season that collapsed under the weight of expectations? Certainly reaching the 2002 Final Four bought Mike Davis an extra year (or two) at Indiana he probably didn't deserve. Would the school's first Final Four head coach have been shown the door as quickly as Quin was when the program started collapsing? Or would he have been given greater leeway?
(My guess? Yes, he would have been given at least one more season than he wound up getting. Although I still think Quin would have recruited and signed Ricky Clemons. Because he was a sleazy coach like that, and sleaze attracts, uuh, sleaze).
And if MU makes that Final Four, how does the perception of the program change? Its not like MU was a pushover the previous couple decades. Norm Stewart usually had a tourney-bound, solid squad to field. But they never reached the Final Four. The glass ceiling was the Elite 8. Norm coached for what, 25, 30 years? And never cracked the glass ceiling. He came close a few times, with some loaded teams in the late 80s, and the perfect run through the Big 8 in 1994 that ended in the Elite 8 against Arizona.
Quin was only in his 3rd season ... and already hit the glass ceiling. If he breaks it, against a conference rival to boot? If Quin can walk in off the street, pick up the pieces of a torn MU program entering the decade (remember, half the fanbase wanted Norm kicked to the curb, the other half was scared they couldn't do better, so were angry at even trying to replace Norm), if he walks in and within three years, posts three NCAA appearances, and a Final Four berth? To put that in perspective, the rebuild Roy did at KU was amazing. (Don't worry ... Roy's departure sorta, kinda, arrives on this countdown later).
Taking over a team on probation, losing every decent player, and having to follow up a national championship head coach? Roy had KU in the Final Four in his third season. If MU wins this game against OU, then Quin Snyder matches the job Roy did. (And I'd argue tops it; KU can recruit based on its name. MU has to recruit based on the person doing the recruiting). Would Quin have become as beloved by the fanbase as Roy was (and in some corners, still is)? Does Quin earn a Roy-like unquestioned status amongst the Tiger faithful?
(I say no; the self-destructive nature in Quin wouldn't allow it. But it is interesting to contemplate).
MU was literally just a bucket here or a free throw there away from the greatest win in program history. And yet you can argue that winning that game would have HURT MU more than losing it did. Because winning that game likely buys Quin more time to self-destruct, likely buys Quin at least 30% of the fanbase who will follow him with unquestioned loyalty because "he did more than any other coach here ever has", and most importantly, when the firing axe finally comes down on Quin ... likely sees Mike Anderson already having left UAB for another program. I argued seven years ago, at the time, that it was the "most crushing defeat in MU history, greater than Tyus Edney's layup, worse than Matt Davison's kick, this was the stomach punch". In hindsight, I couldn't have been more wrong ...
9. Flash back to 1995. MU was coming off an unbeaten Big 8 season that ended in the Elite 8 in hoops, and Oklahoma State reached the Final Four in Seattle that year. Nebraska was on its way to a second straight national championship, and both Kansas and Kansas State fielded top 10 programs that fall. Things were looking good for the conference, and about to look better.
Because the Southwest Conference and the Big 8 were negotiating for a merger.
However, only four Southwest Conference teams were going to join the new conference.
Two of the picks were obvious. You had to take Texas, and you had to take Texas A&M. Texas Tech also made perfect sense to bring along.
Which left one spot to fill.
And leads me into "What If" Number 9.
What if the Big XII had selected TCU instead of Baylor?
I was a freshman at TCU in 1995, and somehow I conned those folks into giving me a degree when my four years were up, so maybe I'm slightly biased here. But to this day, I don't get why the Big XII went with Baylor over TCU.
(Actually, I do -- former Texas governor Ma Richards, who was given way too big a platform in working for the Southwest Conference on this merge, basically threatened to walk out on the merger if her alma mater wasn't taken. Which then, of course, raises the question, why Texas Tech instead of TCU? Anyways).
TCU offered you four things right off the bat Baylor did not:
* a relevant football program.
* a relevant basketball program.
* a campus where being a college kid was smiled upon, not legislated against.
* a school in the sixth largest media market in America.
The first point is kind of moot -- Pat Sullivan was quickly running the program into the ground, culminating in that "classic" 13-10 victory over SMU to end the 1997 season at ... 1-11. (And yes, I was there for every excruciating second of that "classic"). But after Pat was shown the door that winter, TCU hired Dennis Franchione, and then Gary Patterson, and hasn't missed a bowl since.
The second point is also kind of moot -- Billy Tubbs had the program on the rise, even scored a 4 seed in the NCAA Tournament in 1997. But once Tubbs left, the program fell back into dormancy.
The third point, you better believe that matters. Its why I chose TCU over Baylor. Seriously, if you can't spend your college years drinking ridiculous amounts of alcohol, inhaling ridiculous amounts of weed, and rolling over at least a couple times a semester and thinking "what the hell is her name again", then you need to find a better college. Baylor legislates against the fun in life. Boo Baylor. Boo.
(And yet, one of my best buddies went to Baylor, had more fun than a human being should be allowed to have, despite the attempted restrictions, and swears it was the best 5 years of his life. So what do I know).
But in all seriousness, its the final point that matters. Why in the hell did the Big XII walk away from having a school in the Dallas media market?
Even if you argue that school should have been SMU (and that's a legitimate argument in its own right, especially given their academic reputation and the Hunt Family money), why in the hell did the Big XII walk away from having a school in the Dallas media market?
The conference is headquartered in Dallas. They stage the conference tournament there every couple years, and the new Cowboys Stadium will host the Big XII Title Game this fall. So again, the question of the day, is why in the hell did the Big XII walk away from having a school in the Dallas media market?
You look at every other Power Six conference. Even if the school sucks ass, they ALL have at least one team in a top 30 media market --
* Big East: St. Johns (NYC), Villanova (Philly), DePaul (Chicago)
* ACC: Georgia Tech (Atlanta), Miami (Miami)
* SEC: Georgia (Atlanta)
* Big Ten: Northwestern (Chicago)
* Pac 10: UCLA, USC (Los Angeles); Cal, Stanford (Bay Area), Washington (Seattle), Arizona State (Phoenix)
The closest a Big XII school comes to playing in a top 30 media market is Kansas, a 30 minute drive from Kansas City. That, or if traffic on K10 is backed up, you could point out that A&M is 45 minutes from Houston. But either way, that's not good. When it was the Big 8, this was fine. It was a localized conference, with loyal fans devoted to this section of the country. But once you expand to basically spread the conference across the Midwest, from Canada to Mexico, from the Rockies to the Mississippi, don't you need a major media market presence?
(Yes. Yes, you do).
That's why not picking TCU (or SMU) made no sense then. It makes even less sense now, as individual conferences are forming their own networks, are signing exclusive TV contracts. They can do it, because they have a built in major media market into their conference. The Big XII doesn't have a school within 30 minutes of a top 30 market other than Kansas. And having the 27th largest Nielsen market with quad-divided loyalty (between KU, KSU, MU and Nebraska) is nowhere near as important as having an actual member in the 6th largest media market.
8. The funnest year of the decade, for me, was 2003.
KU Football awoke from its usual doormat status, and somehow reached a bowl for the first time since my freshman year in college. The Chiefs opened 9-0, en route to their first divisional title and playoff berth in 6 years.
And the Royals ... well ... "What If" Number 8.
What if the 2003 Royals had held on to win the AL Central?
The Royals opened 9-0, and sat at a ridiculous 17-4 entering May.
And then, the slide began.
And kept going.
And kept going.
Until June 2nd, when the Royals sat at 32-32 entering the first game in Colorado. And we got pounded.
Only ... the game wasn't completed thanks to a rainstorm. Nothing counted.
The Royals rallied, swept the doubleheader, and treaded water for a couple weeks until Fathers Day 2003, arguably my favorite game of the decade. Me, my dad, my brother, and my buddy James went to this one, and sat in old left field GA. I remember this day for five reasons:
1. It was so ridiculously hot, that I didn't even bother to bring a t-shirt in with me. Usually I at least do that. Even if it doesn't stay on for long.
2. They had some overnight campout deal on the field the night before, so the groundscrew was still cleaning up crap barely 30 minutes before first pitch.
3. Jose Lima's first start! I remember asking my dad "What do you want out of him today", and his response was "Less Runs than Innings Pitched". Yeah, you know you've signed a keeper when you're hoping for an ERA somewhere around 9.
4. Barry Bonds' 6th inning home run off Lima. It literally hit the roof of the old right field GA concession stand on the fly. Its the sweetest home run I've ever seen to this day.
5. Mike Sweeney's 0-2 rocket to the left field gap to score Joe Randa to win 5-4.
The Royals took off from that point, moving from a .500 team to a team 7 1/2 games up at the All Star Break. They still led by 3 games entering mid August, when the eventual champion Twins came to town, and took two of three over one of the best weekends of the summer, the "Double Header" Saturday with Royals / Twins and Chiefs / Vikings, and the "Rob and Rany Day at the K" Sunday. (Anytime you can sit in 105 degree heat with two baseball writers like Rob and Rany, you have to do it. Even if the beer you're drinking is literally being sweated out as soon as it goes in).
The last gasp of that Royals team was probably in mid September. In a virtual tie with the Twins and White Sox with 3 weeks to go, they hosted the Diamondbacks in a make-up game. Trailing 3-2 entering the bottom of the 9th, Carlos Beltran led off with a walk.
Then stole second.
Then stole third.
And scored on a sacrifice fly.
Joe Posnanski wrote a great article on this game, and specifically on this play. Of all the amazing things the 2003 season gave us, that play stays burned in my mind, even more so than Tito climbing the fence to haul in a Seattle home run ball. Even more than Ken Harvey's homer to extend the streak to 9-0. Even more than Jimmy Gobble's debut start when he overpowered the Rays in a 2-0 shutout. Even more than Sweeney's Father's Day hit, than the hope that trading for Brian Anderson and Rondell White brought, even more Runelvys Hernandez literally destroying his season and his career by tossing 105 pitches in the ridiculous July heat with a torn rotator cuff to help beat Seattle right after the All Star break.
(As another note: I also remember this season so well for three other reasons:
a. Gregg and I had DirecTV ... which didn't have the failed experiment known as RSTN. So we had to "watch" every game by literally listening to the radio. I always thought that was cool. It was like being back as a 12, 13 year old again, back in the awesome pennant race of 1989, listening on radio to every play.
b. Between Gregg, Jasson, James, my brother, PJ, Chris, Anthony, and work folks, I pretty much went to every game from mid June on. Like being back in college, when the 1998 Rangers pennant run became "emergency expenses" on my dad's credit card for me, Frank, and Mike.
c. This season convinced me and Gregg to buy full season tickets in 2004. Arguably the single biggest mistake of my adult sports fan life. Cleaning out the kitchen before moving out a couple years later, I came across the season ticket book from 2004. The last game either one of us went to? July 26th. Two unused months of tickets. Why you don't buy full season MLB tickets 101 ...)
There were so many ridiculous, amazing moments that summer, that you have to think "What would have happened if the Royals had held on"?
Well ...
My guess is, we'd have lost in 4 at the most to the Yankees. And yet, we had the Yankees number that year, taking 4 of 6, 2 of 3 in each stadium. So who knows? But the bigger point is ...
What would have happened that offseason?
If you break through and win the division, do you then gamble on reclamation projects like Juan Gonzalez and Benito Santiago? Or, as defending division champs with the playoff revenue stream to play with, do you go out and sign legitimate options, like resigning Rondell White?
Or better yet, as defending divisional champs, do you take that added revenue, walk into Scott Boras' office, and lay out the plan for the next 4-5 years as a playoff contender, and offer Carlos Beltran a legitimate, above-board, fair market offer that he at least has to consider signing?
Of course, the Royals didn't win the Central. Beltran was gone within three months of the 2004 season starting, for two serviceable major leaguers (Teahan, Buck), and one pitching flameout (Blake Wood). Gonzalez and Santiago were signed, and promptly bombed. Brian Anderson couldn't locate the strike zone, Jose Lima proved to be a one season fluke, and Mike MacDougal flamed out spectacularly. To say nothing of Angel Berroa aging 55 years overnight.
But for one magical season, it was all right there for the taking. If only the Royals had grabbed it.
7. As most of you who read this site on a regular basis ... or just know me period ... as you are well aware, there is one professional sports team I hate with a f*cking passion. The denver broncos.
I hate them for a lot of reasons. I'm sure some of them are listed elsewhere on this site. I'm sure many more will be posted this week since it is, after all, donkeys week 2009.
But there's one game that stands out to me, and its number seven on the "What If" list.
What if the 2002 Chiefs don't lose to denver in week 7?
Not the one you were expecting, huh? I think most people assumed I was referencing the playoff defeat on my 21st birthday to elway at Arrowhead, a game I (sadly) correctly predicted beforehand that the winner would win the Lombardi Trophy.
No, I'm not reliving that one, partly out of painful memory, but mostly because the better team won. Now excuse me while I go find the HHH Memorial Sledgehammer and beat myself senseless with it over admitting that painful fact.
(steve taking a few minutes to deal with painful loss ...)
(And while dealing with said loss ... that statement is absolute fact. denver was the better team. They dominated both regular season games we played, blowing us out at Real Mile High, and losing on a 54 yard wounded duck of a field goal as time expired, in a game in which the Dick Gannon led Chiefs failed to gain 200 yards of offense. Even the playoff game, denver statistically dominated. Gotta tip the cap to a great team when you see one. Even if they did cheat by circumventing the salary cap to make it happen).
OK, and we're back. The denver game that drives me bonkers, is that 2002 defeat. There is simply no conceivable way we should have lost that game. The Chiefs dominated the stats. They led from (literally) the opening seconds of the game. They were up double digits nearly the entire way. They led 34-27 with 3:52 to go, facing a 4th and 1 at the denver 25.
And in that moment, is the madness, the utter frustration, the insanity, that defined my hatred of Dick Vermeil. The Chiefs defense in 2002 was atrocious. Statistically, it is the worst in NFL history. It even earned its own nickname, the "32 Defense", in honor of its ranking in virtually every measurable statistic. Here you are, 4th and 1, a little under 4 minutes to go. You get the first down, and its ballgame for all intents and purposes. (denver used its final timeout to stop the clock after 3rd down). We had Priest Holmes. Running behind John Tait, Willie Roaf, Will Shields, Casey Weigmann, and Brian Waters. With Tony Richardson blocking. You mean to tell me we can't get a f*cking yard in that spot?
If you convert there, you bleed a MINIMUM of another 1:50 off the clock, down to the two minute warning. That is the ONLY time left that denver could have stopped the clock. What makes more sense to you. What sounds like the smarter, safer, more common sense call to you: try a 43 yard field goal with a 40 plus year old kicker whose range was 40 yards ... or pound Priest Holmes behind that line, with Richardson as well, for 36 inches. What sounds more logical to you?
(Run the damned ball!)
And even if you don't convert the first down ... ok, then what? denver ball at their own 25, instead of at their own 33 after the field goal miss? What difference does 8 yards in starting field position make at that point?
(Run the damned ball!)
Go figure, Vermeil tried the field goal. Go figure, it wasn't even close to being good. (Funny historical note: even the nfl.com Game Recap Play by Play notes that the field goal try was "short". SHORT! From 43 yards out! Just like every damned person in that stadium save for Dick Vermeil knew it would be! Again, why didn't we run the f*cking football!)
Everyone there that sunny October afternoon knows what happened next. denver drove and scored with seconds to spare to force overtime. They won the coin toss. Somehow the Chiefs defense held, but when our offense stalled at midfield, the donkeys blocked the punt, then elam nailed a 26 yard field goal a couple plays later. 37-34 denver.
This loss ... to say it adversely affected me, is an understatement. I didn't make it into work until Wednesday. Let's just say there were a lot of empty liquor bottles in the trash that week. That loss to me, was what the number one "what if" on this list was to Gregg.
(Note: this was during my 6, 7 month period after my unfortunate drinking and driving arrest when, on the strong advise of friends and family, I attempted to quit drinking. Emphasis on the word "attempted". Let's just say, between my genes, my love of vodka, and this defeat, that the liquor bottles started appearing again on a nightly basis in the fridge. Thank you Dick Vermeil! Just kidding, Dick. I don't blame you. For this, anyways.)
(Another note: in case you didn't know beforehand, or didn't just figure it out from the previous couple paragraphs ... you now know why I hate Dick Vermeil with a freaking passion. One decision, in one relatively meaningless regular season game, from 8 years ago, and I refuse to let go. A simple 4th and 1, and I still can't let go. Against any other opponent, I'd probably let it slide after a few cold ones. When it costs us a win against my most hated team, and costs us a playoff berth, I don't let it go. I let it simmer. Until it boils over. Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah).
If the Chiefs win that game, we know the following would have happened:
* The Chiefs would have been the last team in, at 9-7. (The Chiefs had tiebreaker over Cleveland due to head-to-head victory).
* They would have opened at Pittsburgh in the early Sunday slot.
* They would have been the scariest 6 seed in NFL history (up to that point in time).
The Chiefs could score at will, on anybody. They topped 20 points an astonishing 13 times. They topped 30 points a jaw dropping 8 times. They topped 40 points an absolutely logic-defying 4 times. The Steelers were led by a surprisingly effective Tommy Maddux. You mean to tell me the Chiefs can't win a shootout with those guys? The Chiefs had already dropped 40 on Cleveland (actual playoff team), 38 on the defending champion Patriots, 48 on a 9-7 Dolphins team that missed the playoffs on tiebreakers, 34 on a decent Chargers team, and 30 plus on denver twice. Plus the icing on the cake, a 49 point outburst against the defending NFC Champion Rams. The only thing that ever stopped the Chiefs offense that season was the monsoon in Oakland to end the season.
I'm not saying that Chiefs team would have done anything once they got to the playoffs. But it was set up. A shootout at Pittsburgh, last team with the ball wins. A complete contrast in styles in Nashville against the Titans in the second round. And then a potential AFC West showdown for the Lamar Hunt Trophy out in the Bay Area with Sur William Callahan's raiders. Sadly, because of Dick Vermeil's stupid, retarded decision to not go for the jugular and the win, and instead play it safe, we'll never know.
Hey, speaking of dumb decisions by folks making decisions in Jackson County, let's move on to one of the dumbest in recorded human history, by the assclown that currently represents me in Congress ...
6. Flash back to spring of 1997. The Chiefs were coming off their first playoff-less season of the decade. (Keep reading -- that "what if" is coming up). The Royals were well on their way to reinventing their franchise from "model everyone looks up to", to ("major league" groundskeepers voice) "these guys are sh*tty!" status. KU basketball was coming off a 34-1 regular season, only to collapse in the Sweet 16 against Arizona.
And in Fort Worth Texas, this hot-as-hell 20 year old did the unthinkable.
I went to my first NASCAR race, the debut race at TMS.
I had a few buddies who had tickets, they had an extra, so I went along. I had never been to a Cup race before. I have always loved open wheel racing. I was never a fan of NASCAR before this because (a) their cars weren't as neat, (b) their cars weren't as fast, and (c) their fanbase scared the sh*t out of me.
Still, I'm willing to try anything once for the most part, so on a bright hot sunny Sunday in late April, it was off for my first Cup experience.
And I loved every effing second of it.
From the second you pull into the grass lots, see 200,000 plus people, all flying flags, drinkin' beer, tossing washers, blaring the stereo, well, that's my kind of people! That's me at Arrowhead! And not only are you close to the action, they let you bring your own booze in? Are you kidding me? How much sweeter can it get? And once the race started, turn one, lap one, this 24 car went flying into the wall, and the place just erupted. I had no idea then who was in said 24 car painted like a friggin rainbow, but I knew this much -- if 200,000 plus people hate someone that much, and express their hatred so openly, I want in on the fun!
I say this, because that spring, the governing body of NASCAR decided it was time to build a track in the Midwest. They approached KCMO's "honorable" mayor at the time, the Rev. Emanuel Cleaver, and his braintrust with a proposition: if Kansas City, Missouri and/or Jackson County would build a track in eastern Jackson County, they would guarantee a yearly Cup race starting in 2001.
And Cleaver passed. Meanwhile, across the state line, the single smartest leader this region has had in three decades, the awesome Carol Marinovich, immediately stepped in and agreed to spend the STAR bonds on the project.
The KC region has never been the same since.
So "What If" number six is, what if Mayor Cleaver agrees to build the track in eastern Jackson County?
To be fair to Mr. Cleaver, the area that NASCAR was targeting was the corner of 470 and "The Dred" (aka I-70). Growth slowly yet surely has happened there on its own, with a decent shopping complex arising on the east side, a new indoor arena arising on the north side, and Bass Pro Shops going in on the west side. But that development is nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to what Mayor Marinovich wound up with.
Mayor Cleaver's decision to punt on the new track, screwed Jackson County's taxrolls from here to eternity. (Or at least until a new track needs to be built in what, 50 years? 60 years? These things tend to last for awhile). The Legends development that literally saved Wyandotte County as a viable place to live, would instead be in Missouri. The tourism that KCK attracts two (and soon to be three) race weekends every year, would be on the Missouri side. All the tax benefits, from merchandise sales, hotel fees, liquor sales, you name it, would be in KCMO's coffers. Not KCK's. That Power and Light District, the Sprint Centre, the downtown redevelopment that is literally hemorraging money? Wouldn't be such an issue.
And maybe, just maybe, with that one bold stroke of leadership, of seeing the future (aka the expansion of motorsports from a southern curiousity to mainstream popularity), the current debacle down the street from me would be seeing the Wizards stadium being erected, instead of being a hole in the ground, because developers could rest assured that the city had a rock solid track record of seeing development through to the finish.
Instead, its all KCK's gain. All because Manny Cleaver decided ... what, exactly? Was worth spending the bond money on? He really did nothing in his tenure except flush money down the toilet known as Kemper Arena on stupid renovations that everyone knew wasn't enough to keep the NCAA and the Big XII here. Needless to say, Manny Cleaver is not one of my favorite people. Yet somehow, we keep electing this idiot every two years to represent us in Washington. It's truly mind boggling.
But not as mind boggling as Manny Cleaver punting on NASCAR. KCK's public officials are still laughing their ass off over that decision ...
5. Of course, giving Manny Cleaver a run for his money in the "single most retarded decision of my lifetime" category, is former Kansas football head coach Terry Allen. Which is the number five "What If".
What if Terry Allen wasn't mentally challenged, and had offered Darren Sproles the scholarship he so desperately wanted?
I'm not spending a lot of time on this. The entire Terry Allen era should just be purged from the history books, it was that bad. Six inept years of football. 0-6 vs KSU. 0-6 vs Nebraska. 1-5 vs Missouri. Trust me, I sat through most of it. I was "privileged" to witness a 63-0 homecoming defeat to KSU that pretty much led to near riot-like conditions in Memorial Stadium. (And yet somehow, Allen kept his job for another year and a half after this abortion of a performance! How! How do you lose by 9 touchdowns to a hated rival, AT HOME, and keep your job for another 16 months? Amazing. Who says Bob Frederick didn't care about any sport other than basketball!)
But the biggest sin of them all ... Terry Allen decided he didn't want Darren Sproles.
Sproles, of course, signed with K State instead. Three Big XII Title Games and a Big XII championship later, I'd say Bill Snyder made the right call to offer the kid from Olathe a scholarship.
But never forget, Sproles wanted to play at Kansas. And Terry Allen said no.
On second thought, Sproles might have saved Terry Allen's job. Probably best to just move on from this one before contemplating that possibility makes me want to bash my head into the wall.
4. Speaking of great "What Ifs" in Kansas history ...
What if Mikey Lee's desperation three as time expired went in, instead of being blocked by Hakim Warrick, in the 2003 National Championship game?
Let me say up front, I think Roy was leaving no matter what. Which is why I picked this one as the KU hoops "What If".
Because if Mikey Lee's shot goes in, if somehow KU rallies from down 20 plus to force overtime, and goes on to win that game (which given the way momentum was going, would have happened), if that shot goes in, does anyone at KU hold nearly the level of hatred towards Roy that wound up occurring?
If that shot goes in, doesn't Roy accomplish in his 14 years at the school EVERYTHING he set out to do? Restore the program to national prominence. (check). Do it in a respectable, NCAA compliant manner. (check). Regularly win conference titles. (check). Regularly score top 4 seeds in the tournament. (check). Never lose in the first round, go a perfect 13 for 13. (check).
Five Final Fours in 14 years. (check). Two national title game appearances. (check).
And if that shot goes in ...
Win a national championship.
(check).
If all that occurs, and THEN Roy leaves, does anyone fault him? Does anyone blame him? Do we still get the "I don't give a sh*t about North Carolina" comment he delivered to Erin Andrews? (God I hope so).
Does the "inferiority complex", for lack of a better way to put it, that set in after the two straight first round defeats a few years later, as UNC goes on to give Roy his first national title, does that set in? Or instead, does KU fan revel in Roy achieving his sport's greatest achievement?
Or the famous showdown, throwdown, (don fambrough voice) hoe-down in 2008, the KU / UNC national semifinal, is that nearly the hate-fest, the pure adrenaline rush, that it wound up becoming? Or would it be like when KU would face UNC in the Roy era, the "we're just here to enjoy watching a couple Kansas guys go at it" feeling that was there when Roy faced off against Dean?
Guess we'll never know.
(For what its worth ... I think KU fans would still be agitated, but Roy would be held in much higher esteem than he is. To his eternal credit, the pure class Roy showed after that 2008 defeat, showing up for the national title game and basically telling his employer and his clothing sponsors "screw it, I'm wearing a Jayhawk that is visible for the world to see", that moment won him back into my good graces. Seeing the pure joy and happiness he felt when KU won that game, erased 5 years of hatred for me. But if Mikey Lee's shot goes in, do I ever feel the hatred and anger? Honestly? Probably not. You have to go where your heart is. As an adopted Texan that wants to move back, I get why Roy left. I just think it would have been much less messy if that Lee shot falls).
3. Well, I guess at some point we have to deal with THE Chiefs quarterback controversy of the 1990s. So let's haul out the "What If" wheel for number three.
What if ...
Rich Gannon ...
never replaced ...
Steve Bono with four games to play in 1996.
Ha! Gotcha! Again, I'm guessing everyone expected this to be the Gannon / Grbac debate of 1997 and 1998 (and beyond).
Uuh, no.
Because if THIS QB debate doesn't happen, the other one doesn't.
To recap: the 1996 Chiefs are 8-4 following a humiliating home loss to the Chargers. The offense laid the proverbial lingering fart that day. The final was 28-14 but it wasn't even remotely that close (the Chiefs got two garbage time touchdowns).
However, at 8-4, still solidly in line for a wildcard berth, and still only a game behind denver in the division ... Marty decided it was time for a change at quarterback. Steve Bono was benched for the Thanksgiving game at Detroit.
Rich Gannon was installed as the starter.
For me, the move "paid off" -- I bet my dad $200 worth of Christmas presents that the Chiefs would miss the playoffs. I had zero doubt this move would blow up in our face. And it did, as Dick Gannon beat Detroit, but got blown out in oakland, then left the Colts game (that ultimately decided the final AFC wildcard berth) with an injury. Left with no choice, Marty turned back to Bono ... only Bono (somewhat) defensibly had quit on the team, and it showed, as the Chiefs choked away the Colts game, and got ass-whipped in Buffalo to end the season at 9-7 and out of the playoffs.
So what if Bono had never been yanked?
For starters, I believe the Chiefs at least would have made the playoffs. Bono would have won in Detroit (like Gannon did), and he would have beaten oakland to get us in at 10-6 at the worst. Not sure the Chiefs would have done anything once they got there (would have likely opened at Pittsburgh against the defending AFC Champs), but then again, the entire 1996 postseason was upside-down wacky. (The 6th seeded, second year Jaguars reached the AFC Title Game; the second year Panthers reached the NFC Title Game; the Dallas and Buffalo dynasties in essence died in quick eliminations).
But more to the point -- do the Chiefs go out and target Elvis Grbac in free agency?
If Gannon doesn't play, he remains the unknown. As it was, because he took the field, Marty and Carl had zero faith in either Bono (about to retire) or Gannon as the QB option. So we signed Grbac to man the team.
If Bono stays in, do we trust Gannon from day one in 1997 and avoid Grbac altogether? And instead spend the free agent / salary cap money to keep Neil Smith and/or Mark Collins?
(My guess? We still target a QB in free agency, but its not priority one. Priority one becomes retaining Neil Smith, then we go out and sign a competent veteran. Someone like Doug Flutie (who Buffalo signed) or Vinny Testaverde (who the Jets signed) or even try to coax one more year out of Bono, and let them battle Gannon for the job in camp. But again, that's just a guess).
(Also, for what its worth ... I argued all offseason that Marty should be fired for the collapse, and his handling of the QB situation. To use a historical analogy here, the switch from Bono to Gannon, was Marty's March on Moscow. Just like the Russian Invasion ultimately defeated Napoleon, even though it took three more years for it to finally end at Waterloo, this was Marty's March on Moscow. From this point on, it was only a matter of time until the end arrived. I'd say Marty's Waterloo was the Monday Night Meltdown, but I think every Chiefs fan already knew that).
2. Aah, the final two.
OK, really, just number two -- number one on the "What If" list I have argued for a decade and counting, and will attempt to coherently lay out in a few more paragraphs.
But number two ... well, it was tough to pick.
Among the moments I considered:
* What if the Strike of 1994 was settled in time to finish a legitimate season?
* What if Aaron Miles doesn't foul out to start overtime against Georgia Tech in the 2004 Elite 8?
* What if Todd Reesing leads a final scoring drive to force overtime against Missouri in 2007?
* What if John Mackovic wasn't fired after the 1986 season?
* What if KSU doesn't blow a 17 point lead to Texas A&M in the 1998 Big XII Title Game?
But number two, quite honestly, is what killed college football as it existed for people my age in these parts.
What if Matt Davison's reception of the kicked pass against Missouri in 1997 falls incomplete?
(Or, more accurately, what if the officiating crew in Columbia that day had ruled that as an illegal forward pass?)
It was a fourth and goal play, Missouri up 31-24 against an undefeated number one ranked Nebraska team. The pass, of course, helped Nebraska survive the upstart Tigers, and win a 3rd national title in four years.
But what if the pass falls incomplete? What if the refs make the right call?
We know two things that would have happened if that had occurred:
1. An undefeated Michigan team wins an undisputed national championship.
2. The 1998 Cornhuskers would still have struggled, given the departing talent and the rise of Kansas State.
What we don't know ... is who would have coached Nebraska in 1998.
Would Dr. Tom have returned without that final championship? Would Frank Solich have ever ascended to the throne? And even if he had ... would Solich have been given a far more lenient grace period than he got if he doesn't replace a coach coming off a national championship, and three in four years?
Even more to the point, if Solich gets said grace period ... does the "Surrender" Steve Pederson era occur?
(Note: I'm not going to argue "Sur" William Callahan was a great coach. He's not. But Bill Callahan is a decent coach that can win in the right situation. Sorry, but you don't make a Super Bowl as a head coach unless you have some competence. Ditto make a Big XII Title game -- sorry Hawks Fans, but even "Sur" William made one. Pinkle's made two. Gary Barnett made three. Mangino's made zero. Remember that when he's fired this week.
"Surrender" Steve, on the other hand, might be the single biggest asshole to run an athletic department in this decade. Even bigger than you, Lew Perkins. You've whizzed on every tradition and everything good and decent about Hawks athletics, but at least your teams win. "Surrender" Steve never had that going for him. Well, until Jamie Dixon (who he didn't hire) and Dave Wannstedt (who he didn't hire) made his new job at Pitt respectable. Someday, someone needs to write a book on just how piss poor a job "Surrender" Steve did in Lincoln. You could write like 9,000 pages, and STILL have another 9,000 pages of material to cite, let alone comment about. Wait, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, the destruction of Nebraska football thanks to the golden toe reception by Matt Davison).
I argued in "What If" number 10 that MU not winning in the Elite 8 against OU was the best thing that could have happened. A victory in that spot would have been far worse than the defeat was in the hindsight of history. Well, conversely, can't you argue in the hindsight of history that Davison's kicked pass reception was the worst thing to happen to Nebraska football in 12 years? (Save for "Surrender" Steve Pederson, of course. Again, there are not enough words that can possibly be thought, let alone written, by mankind to describe the abortion that his reign of error at Nebraska was).
If Davison doesn't catch that pass, if the refs rule it an illegal forward pass, if anything happens to alter that ... well, that's one for the What If's Hall of Fame.
(For what its worth: I still think Dr. Tom retires after that 1997 season. But Solich definitely gets a greater grace period. I also don't think Osborne goes into politics, he stays closer to the program. And the entire "Surrender" Steve era is avoided. Thankfully, Bo Pelini and Dr. Tom are restoring Nebraska to what it used to be. And I mean that word, "thankfully". Nebraska football as we knew it prior to the "Surrender" Steve years is everything every single football program in America should aspire to be. Welcome back, Black Shirts. Welcome back, Power I. Welcome back, having a Big Kid on the Block to knock off ...)
Which leads us to number one ...
1. What if Dick Gannon doesn't get a fifth down against the Chiefs in the Y2K bowl?
I don't even know where to begin on this one.
Its always been my greatest "What If", pretty much since the day it happened. (January 2, 2000).
Chiefs lead 38-31, just about two minutes to go. The raiders have a 3rd and 17 at the Chiefs 31. There is an illegal formation penalty on oakland that is DECLINDED by Kansas City AFTER the raiders run a 3rd down play. It should have been 4th and 17. Instead, the refs allow oakland to replay the down. Incomplete. Now it is 5th and 17 ... only the refs are treating it as 4th and 17. And go figure, Dick Gannon hits tim brown in the end zone. Tie game.
If the Chiefs win this game, as they should have after the 4th down incompletion, we know the following three things would have happened:
1. The Chiefs win the AFC West at 10-6.
2. We would have hosted Miami in the late Sunday timeslot.
3. We would have DESTROYED the Dolphins, who lost 5 of 6 to "qualify" for the playoffs, needed overtime to beat a Seahawks team that also lost 5 of 6 to "qualify" for the playoffs, then lost 66-3 to Jacksonville in the divisional round (still the largest postseason margin of defeat ever).
So ... based on this, let's play one more scenario out, ok? Since its the "What If" column, after all.
(That, and if you're still reading, you're gonna love where I'm going with this, I think).
Assuming all else stays the same (aka, same playoff games, matchups, outcomes occur, save for Chiefs), the Titans go into Jacksonville and beat the Jaguars. The Chiefs go into Indy, to face the Jim Mora Curse against a team we should have beaten in the regular season (we lost 28-23 on a late touchdown). Again, following the logic that assumption claims to be, give the Chiefs a win somehow in this spot against the snakebitten Mora. (Tennessee won in this spot 20-17 before rolling Jacksonville the next week).
That sets up your AFC Title Game on Sunday, January 23, 2000. Tennessee Titans at Kansas City Chiefs.
My ultimate dream come true. The Chiefs, at home, playing to reach the Super Bowl.
But even better ... anyone remember what the weather was like that Sunday?
I know, its a decade ago. Tough to recall. I'll give you a few minutes to Google the results, or search the deep archives of your brain to recall.
(playing "Jeopardy" music ...)
Time.
Cold. Bitterly cold, in the high 20s in actual temp but low single digits for the windchill. Oh, and it was sleeting, snowing, and generally miserable. How do I know this like it happened yesterday?
Because of what would NOT have happened if the Chiefs were playing at home that day to advance to the Super Bowl.
Derrick Thomas doesn't get behind the wheel of his SUV on the way to the airport, and wreck out on a sheet of ice, and ultimately pass away a couple weeks later after being paralyzed from the neck down.
You want to argue about crushing defeats, gut-punch losses? What's bigger than the Y2K Bowl? If the Chiefs win that game, you can LEGITIMATELY argue they not only host the AFC Title Game, not only potentially reach the Super Bowl to face our cross-state rivals that we've pole-axed three straight regular season meetings and counting (including the following season, dropping 54 on them at Arrowhead) ... "The Franchise" is still alive today.
I'm not gonna lie -- since this is my number one "What If" in sports, I've thought about this a lot. It pains me still (obviously).
So, the Final "What If". What if the Chiefs win that game, the Y2K bowl? The Chiefs win the division. They likely host the AFC Title game. Derrick Thomas likely lives to play at least one more season, and hopefully (finally) reach the Super Bowl, the "achievement" he never had that probably cost him four years of Hall of Fame eligibility.
And the other great "What If" of the 1999 season never has to be answered. What If Carl realized Gun was in over his head, and pulled the plug after year one ...
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
the latest fake mailbag
In honor of Thanksgiving, I give you ... Fake Mailbag 7.0.
As always, these are "real" emailed inquiries from readers of this site.
(And as always, the "mailbag" gives me a chance to comment on vent about things that matter to me. (dmb voice) Funny the way it is, if you think about it ...)
* "You want to know how we won Sunday? Easy Stevo! We cut LJ!" -- Dusty J, Overland Park.
Look it, I get the animosity towards LJ. I really do. The guy was a prick. He mistreated women. He has anger management issues. I get all that. And those, coupled with a poorly timed holdout and a couple down years on the field, turned the town against him (although, to be fair, most of the town was never behind him).
But does that erase the absolutely jaw-dropping 25 game stretch he had, from the Oakland game in 2005 to the playoff game in Indy? I say no. LJ had one of the best year and a half runs imaginable for a professional athlete. He ran for over 3600 yards, scored over 30 touchdowns, and his team went 15-10 with him carrying the workload, missing the playoffs by a game in 2005 and being the last team in, in 2006. He did it with a patchwork offensive line, musical chairs at QB, and two different offensive coaching staffs, only one of which can be defined as "competent".
Having said that however, as LJ's resident apologist ... it was time for him to go. His demise was sad and predictable, given the workload placed on him in the stretch above, as well as the way that both Chan Gailey and Todd Haley prefer to run the ball (LJ is a straight ahead back; Gailey and Haley both prefer traps, offtackle, and pitches). I wish him the best.
* "I assume you saw BJ got a ton of press in The Sports Guy's column today! Go BuKCs Go!" -- Gregg G, Bonner Springs.
I did notice it. The amazing thing to me, and I think it was Steve Aschburner at nba.com that pointed this out, is that BuKCs GM John Hammond basically orchestrated a fire sale this offseason -- he traded Jefferson for nothing, let Villanueva walk as an unrestricted, didn't match Sessions' contract he signed with Minnesota -- and somehow, this team is BETTER because of it. That's some savvy roster-manuevering. Everything Hammond has done, has been golden so far. I like it. I love it. And I definitely want some more of it.
(Update: it was Chad Ford at espn.com that pointed it out. But Aschburner's a must-read for any NBA fan, either at nba.com or si.com).
* "Funniest thing you've seen the last couple weeks?" -- Damien J, Midtown.
Without question, the "Amazing Race" episode last Sunday, where the local boys (gay brothers Sam and Dan) were in the mud volleyball pits facing off against a couple of "hot Estonian boys". (Their words, not mine). They were so, uuh, "excited", that the picture had to be blurred to hide the, uuh, "evidence" of their excitement. I was laughing my ass off at that.
A close second: Bob Griese dropping the "maybe he's getting a taco" blast at Montoya. Lighten up people. If you can't take a joke, go find a toilet and stuff your head in it to hopefully flush some common sense into you.
* "What do you think of Kris Allen's debut single?" -- Katie H, Lenexa.
I like it, but I don't love it. If I had to rate former Idol contestant's singles so far, here's my top 10:
1. "Behind These Hazel Eyes" by Kelly Clarkson. The whole cd is golden. This song just does it for me.
2. "Gallery" by Mario Vasquez. Oh, what could have been had he not gotten greedy and gone for the instant release single.
3. "Its Not Over" by Daughtry. You know its a shady season when you're two best contestants don't even make final two.
4. "Tattoo" by Jordin Sparks. Love the Blake cameo at the end of the video.
5. "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson. Remind me again why I rooted for Justin in season one?
6. "Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks. The best song of 2009? I think its in the top 5 at least.
7. "Crush" by David "Asshat" Archuleta. I hate this guy with a friggin passion. But its a good song.
8. "Live Like We're Dying" by Kris Allen. The song grows on you, but I expected something more.
9. "Wasted" by Carrie Underwood. On a personal note ... well ... this song does kind of foretell my future.
10. "Wait For You" by Elliott Yamin. Again, how the hell did Taylor and (chick who will never be named on this site due to my intense, soul-consuming, john-elway-esque hatred of her) finish 1-2 ahead of Elliott and Daughtry?
And for anyone who claims I'm biased ... my favorite Idol contestant does not appear in this list. Other than noting his cameo in the video for number four. See, I can be fair and objective ...
* "So how would you fix the Big XII?" -- Drew K, Shawnee.
First, you assume the Big XII has a competitive balance issue. (OK, it does ... although for what its worth, I really, really, really like Nebraska to upset Texas in two weeks).
Having said that, these are the three fixes I'd bring in:
1. Move OU to the North, and Missouri to the South. If you figure that Texas / OU is always going to dominate the South, and either MU or Nebraska has won the last four North titles (a situation not likely to change anytime soon as well), why not split them up? Plus, consider three positives this single shift creates:
a. You restore OU / Nebraska every year. As someone who grew up a Huskers fan, this is a must for me.
b. You create the opportunity for a Texas / OU conference title game every year. Who wouldn't want that? Oh, and
c. You get fix number two:
2. Designate a "rivalry" game, at a neutral site every year. Its already happening anyways for a lot of the teams. Here's the rivalries I'd protect:
a. Kansas (N) vs Missouri (S), rotate between Arrowhead and the Edward Jones Dome.
b. Texas (N) vs Oklahoma (S), at Cowboys Stadium.
c. Kansas State (N) vs Iowa State (N), rotate between Arrowhead and the Edward Jones Dome.
d. Texas A&M (S) vs Texas Tech (S), at Reliant Stadium.
e. Nebraska (N) vs Colorado (N), at fake mile high.
f. Oklahoma State (S) vs Baylor (S), at whatever high school field will accommodate them.
These six games, NO MATTER WHAT, regardless of divisional affiliation, get played every year. And they should be the conference opener for each team. (AKA, played either the last weekend in September, or the first in October). But wait, you say. You're protecting inter-divisional rivalries? How can this work? How can you help ensure some semblance of a "balanced schedule" for all teams in the division? Glad you asked! Because fix numero tres is to ...
3. Add a ninth conference game! You add a conference game, you guarantee every team a minimum of 6 home games every year, and most likely they'll play seven. They have the potential to max out at 8 every other season. PLUS you have the neutral site "rivalry" game as well. To put it another way, adding a conference game GUARANTEES you an extra home game every two years! (And the rivalry game guarantees you one less true road game EVERY year). Besides, the first six "rivalry" teams in point two have given up that home game, some for decades, some more recently. The last six break even with the "rivalry neutral site" game if you add the ninth conference game! Plus, you no longer have .500 finishes in conference. Every team will either be a winner, or a loser.
So let's see here. You restore yearly the Big 8's best rivalry. You ensure yearly the conference's three best current rivalries (KU / MU, Texas / OU, Nebraska / Colorado). You open the door to Texas vs OU for the national title berth, just like the SEC this year with Florida / Alabama. And you get rid of a layup win for each team via the 9th conference game, and force them to schedule someone other than a Sun Belt or MAC team. What's not to love?
* "What did you think of Amanda's return to Melrose Place?" -- Kellie B, KCK.
I thought it was ok. I have to be honest though; I'm about three episodes away from pulling the plug on the TiVo recording. This current cast is so awful for the most part, that its truly unwatchable for long stretches of time. Still, I'll give Amanda three weeks to see if I stay on board. I loved the original "Melrose". The least I can do is give this one enough time to kick useless Ashlee Simpson-Wentz to the curb (which thankfully happens in two weeks).
* "What did you think of "The Messiah" getting the Cy Young? You remember we saw his debut start, right?" -- Jasson W, Lenexa.
Hell yes I remember. It was the Friday before Memorial Day 2004. Greinke went 8, gave up only 2 hits, 1 run, and I immediately started calling him "The Messiah", because he was going to salvage the Royals season. I'm pretty sure I still have the ticket in the cigar box full of, uuh, tickets. And yeah, I might have been a little off on "salvaging the season" ... but I think its awesome to see people live up to their potential. Good for Wacky Zacky!
(Side note: as awesome as his debut was, NOBODY was more geeked that summer than me for a mid-June duel between Greinke and Tom Glavine when the Mets came to town. I'm shocked my private areas weren't as blurred on the walk in as Sam and Dan's were on "Amazing Race" last week. That, to me, was my second favorite Royals game of the decade, even though we lost 5-2. To see "The Messiah" against my favorite pitcher from the 90s and now, I still get chills thinking about it).
(My favorite Royals game of the decade, its a close call between Opening Day 2004, when I infamously bet Gregg a steak dinner at Morton's that Mendy Lopez would not go yard ... or the Fathers Day Game in 2003, when a reeling Royals squad started some retread from the Jersey Shore League named Jose Lima ... when Barry Bonds hit a home run that hit the roof of the old right field GA concession stand ... and Mike Sweeney ripped a 0-2 fastball off Joe Nathan into the gap to win the game 5-4. I gotta go with the latter, 2003 was just too sweet of a season to give the nod to anything from 2004).
* "Lou Dobbs! Out at CNN! You're the resident loony liberal, your thoughts?" -- Brett H, Harrisonville.
I have never cared for Lou Dobbs. Although the SNL sketch couple years ago where they dropped the "sorry Amy, but the simple fact is, if you didn't eat a taco last week, you didn't get sick!" line was priceless. I do wish Lou the best though: unemployment right now sucks for anyone.
There's really only five "talkers" or "prime time cable show hosts" I listen to:
5. Rachel Maddow. She and I see eye to eye on a lot. Plus, she's as p*ssed off at the Dems right now as I am.
4. Rush Limbaugh. Say what you want about him, he's always entertaining. (And wrong more often than he'll admit).
3. Shanin and Parks. 980's 2 to 6pm crew. Loved them calling out Dennis Moore for being the chicken sh*t coward that he is.
2. Chris Matthews. Don't really feel a tingle up my leg when I hear him, but I like his show a lot. And ...
1. Ed Schultz. Great show on XM 167 from 11 to 2, and his MSNBC show is appointment television.
* "So ... would you fire Mark Mangino?" -- Brent S, Northeast Johnson County.
I've given up trying to remember which city you live in. I always screw it up, so why bother to try.
Anyways. The Mangino question, to me ... is a very, very difficult one.
I wrote earlier this year about how if KU didn't beat OU (or insert South team here) in the spot we had them, it was never going to happen in the Mangino era. I also noted in that post about how when every other KU coach faced that make-or-break moment, they all lost, and all were gone within a year of said loss. So I'm not going to say I'm shocked that the season fell apart like it did, or that Coach is facing the sh*tstorm he is.
I'm also not going to defend his conference record. He has never beaten OU, Texas, or Texas Tech. He's had four tough losses against those teams (2004, led Tech 30-5 at the half, lost 31-30; 2004 led Texas by 14 in the 4th quarter and lost; 2005 lost by a touchdown to OU at Arrowhead; 2008 lost a shootout in Norman). But the bottom line is, he lost them all.
He's 2-6 against Nebraska. He's 4-3 against MU pending Saturday's outcome. He's 4-4 against KSU. So he's not exactly beating his Northern rivals like a government mule either.
On the other hand ... KU Football was a regional joke before he arrived. (I'd call it a national one, only noone noticed). With a win Saturday, Mangino goes 5 straight years at .500 or better, unheard of at Kansas. He'd be bowl eligible 6 out of his last 7 years (2004 being the sole exception). And 2004, if we don't blow the two tough losses at home to Tech and UT, we're going bowling.
To me, I don't care if he yells at kids, if he (god forbid) sticks a finger in their chest. What really irked me, was the story from the kids he coached in his one year at some Pennsylvania high school. If he truly sat on recruiting letters, he NEVER should be entrusted to run a program. Its one thing to yell at a kid you recruit. Its quite another to f*ck with a high school senior's life. If the allegations in the LJW article are true, that he really did sit on recruitment letters, that to me is a fireable offense with cause.
Bottom line: I think he's either the Doug Collins of KU Football, or the Marty Schottenheimer of KU Football. Either way, he's toast after Saturday. The question is, do we hire Phil Jackson to replace him (and put us over the hump), or do we hire Gunther Cunningham to replace him (and take four steps back). Lew clearly wants him out. I hope he knows what he's doing.
OK a few more before hitting the grand finale:
* "Who's gonna be the team that comes from nowhere to steal a playoff berth?" -- Vineet T, Queens.
I know it sounds ridiculous, but Tennessee? They're going to be favored in 5 of their remaining 6, and the one they'll be a dog in, is Indy, always a grudge match. If they survive Arizona this week, look out. Ditto in the NFC, again, from the "I know it sounds ridiculous" department, but San Francisco? Another 4-6 team that, if they survive at home this week, should be favored in most of their remaining games, and might steal the six seed at 9-7.
* "How's the bowling league going so far?" -- Jon G, Brookside.
Call me crazy, but when teammates are chucking bowling balls at each other from 20 plus feet away in fits of frustration, I'm guessing "not well".
* "Your thoughts on the D Bowe suspension?" -- Justin B, Olathe.
Its what happens when an incompetent head coach rides a prima donna wide receiver too hard in training camp. I won't be shedding any tears if both of them are elsewhere next year.
* "Wait, you think the Chiefs should sh*t can Todd Haley?!?! After only one year?!?!" -- Mickey M, Lee's Summit.
Yes.
* "Really?" -- Gordon G, Clinton.
Yes. Define for me anything he's done to make this team better. He's delivered one -- one! -- legitimately professional coaching performance in 13 outings and counting. He's Gunther Junior. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I believe a head coach should have three years minimum to implement his system and his plan ... UNLESS he exhibits gross incompetence on the job or commits a jailable offense off the field. Watch the gamefilm. "Gross incompetence" is an understatement for what Todd Haley has done so far.
Pull the plug, admit the mistake, and bring in someone who has a clue. Keeping Todd Haley sets us back two years in the rebuild at least. Because we'll be drafting for his style in 2010, instead of his replacement's. And if you don't think that matters, look at how keeping Gunther after 1999 completely detroyed the Chiefs drafts in 2000 (drafted based on a power running scheme instead of the vertical attack that replaced Gun) and 2001 (traded every decent pick to steal the Rams QB, head coach, and offensive coordinator). Granted, the way he was going, Carl would have f*cked those drafts up on his own, but we basically whizzed away two straight drafts by keeping an obviously in-over-his-head coach in Gun for another season. I'm truly convinced that you're better off firing a guy a year too soon, than a year too late.
* "I'm just glad to see you hate someone other than me for a chance" -- Richard V, Napa Valley.
You're welcome. And for the record, your merlot is one of the best red wines I have ever had in my life.
* "I still can't believe you're harder on Todd Haley than you are on Trey Hillman" -- Phil S, Overland Park.
I don't pay $1000 plus per season to watch Trey f*ck up the basics. And to be fair, you sat by me for a few clunkers in the 2004 season ticket year. NOBODY was harder on Tony Pena than me. I just hope the poor railing there in front of 336 has recovered from the regular beating my scorebook gave it.
* "How hard is it gonna be to root for A&M tonight? Gig 'em Aggies!" -- annoying drunk, uneducated hick A&M fan, anywhere they exist.
Very. I think the reason I've been drinking so much today is because I am not prepared to do this tonight. I hate A&M with a passion. I still raise a glass everytime someone remembers the bonfire "tragedy" from 10 years ago. (Hang on ... (steve raising glass) ... ok much better). Cheering for A&M tonight is gonna suck. But its crunch time for the alma mater. Need Texas to lose, and lose convincingly. Two shots for it to happen, starting tonight.
* When the annual "I'm Thankful For" column is coming out?" -- Megan K, Berlin.
Well, let's do it now.
I wasn't sure whether to post anything, because quite honestly, this has been a horrendous year for me personally, and financially, and emotionally. Probably the worst since 1999 or 2000, which are the only two truly "there's not one damned thing from this year worth being thankful for" years in the memory. Having said that, I raise a glass to the following:
a. to new friends. As I jokingly noted after the Steelers win, "I didn't even know you two" the last time we won a home game. So to Kellie and Katie, welcome aboard. Hope you all stick around awhile.
b. to new eras. I'll defend Carl Peterson, but it was time for him to go. I voted for John McCain, but it was time for a change in direction for this nation. And I'll miss living with Dusty, but sometimes "breaking up" is best for all involved.
c. to summer tailgating. Loved the 300,001st ouncer. That needs to become a yearly occurrance, just "up the odometer" if you will. Loved Megan's return tailgate, although hopefully we won't just celebrate once a summer going forward. Loved finding a sweet spot behind Lot A in the grass. Loved that no matter how p*ssed me and certain folks got at each other, we could always set aside the anger and hostilities for a few hours of drinking and chucking washers in the sun. That's a big part of what matters in life, at least to me -- good folks, having good times, under (hopefully) "unseasonably warm conditions".
d. to those who stood by me. Its been a rough year. Yet nobody turned their back and ran. May have been a few rough stretches, but what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, right? I am truly, truly blessed to have the friends and family that I do in this life. And finally,
e. to the true meaning of the holiday season. Which is this. No matter how much you know you've screwed up, or messed up, or effed up, or (insert adjective here) up ... you always get a second chance. Or third. Or fourth. (Or in my case, approximately chance number 25,294,119). Christmas is not just about gifts and hams and drinking ridiculous amounts of wine ... ok, maybe in my family, that last one is true, but still ... no, Christmas is about the fact that you can always find redemption.
I guess that's why I love this time of year so much. Hope its as good for you, as it is for me. Now go eat some turkey and get ready for some early morning shopping ...
As always, these are "real" emailed inquiries from readers of this site.
(And as always, the "mailbag" gives me a chance to comment on vent about things that matter to me. (dmb voice) Funny the way it is, if you think about it ...)
* "You want to know how we won Sunday? Easy Stevo! We cut LJ!" -- Dusty J, Overland Park.
Look it, I get the animosity towards LJ. I really do. The guy was a prick. He mistreated women. He has anger management issues. I get all that. And those, coupled with a poorly timed holdout and a couple down years on the field, turned the town against him (although, to be fair, most of the town was never behind him).
But does that erase the absolutely jaw-dropping 25 game stretch he had, from the Oakland game in 2005 to the playoff game in Indy? I say no. LJ had one of the best year and a half runs imaginable for a professional athlete. He ran for over 3600 yards, scored over 30 touchdowns, and his team went 15-10 with him carrying the workload, missing the playoffs by a game in 2005 and being the last team in, in 2006. He did it with a patchwork offensive line, musical chairs at QB, and two different offensive coaching staffs, only one of which can be defined as "competent".
Having said that however, as LJ's resident apologist ... it was time for him to go. His demise was sad and predictable, given the workload placed on him in the stretch above, as well as the way that both Chan Gailey and Todd Haley prefer to run the ball (LJ is a straight ahead back; Gailey and Haley both prefer traps, offtackle, and pitches). I wish him the best.
* "I assume you saw BJ got a ton of press in The Sports Guy's column today! Go BuKCs Go!" -- Gregg G, Bonner Springs.
I did notice it. The amazing thing to me, and I think it was Steve Aschburner at nba.com that pointed this out, is that BuKCs GM John Hammond basically orchestrated a fire sale this offseason -- he traded Jefferson for nothing, let Villanueva walk as an unrestricted, didn't match Sessions' contract he signed with Minnesota -- and somehow, this team is BETTER because of it. That's some savvy roster-manuevering. Everything Hammond has done, has been golden so far. I like it. I love it. And I definitely want some more of it.
(Update: it was Chad Ford at espn.com that pointed it out. But Aschburner's a must-read for any NBA fan, either at nba.com or si.com).
* "Funniest thing you've seen the last couple weeks?" -- Damien J, Midtown.
Without question, the "Amazing Race" episode last Sunday, where the local boys (gay brothers Sam and Dan) were in the mud volleyball pits facing off against a couple of "hot Estonian boys". (Their words, not mine). They were so, uuh, "excited", that the picture had to be blurred to hide the, uuh, "evidence" of their excitement. I was laughing my ass off at that.
A close second: Bob Griese dropping the "maybe he's getting a taco" blast at Montoya. Lighten up people. If you can't take a joke, go find a toilet and stuff your head in it to hopefully flush some common sense into you.
* "What do you think of Kris Allen's debut single?" -- Katie H, Lenexa.
I like it, but I don't love it. If I had to rate former Idol contestant's singles so far, here's my top 10:
1. "Behind These Hazel Eyes" by Kelly Clarkson. The whole cd is golden. This song just does it for me.
2. "Gallery" by Mario Vasquez. Oh, what could have been had he not gotten greedy and gone for the instant release single.
3. "Its Not Over" by Daughtry. You know its a shady season when you're two best contestants don't even make final two.
4. "Tattoo" by Jordin Sparks. Love the Blake cameo at the end of the video.
5. "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson. Remind me again why I rooted for Justin in season one?
6. "Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks. The best song of 2009? I think its in the top 5 at least.
7. "Crush" by David "Asshat" Archuleta. I hate this guy with a friggin passion. But its a good song.
8. "Live Like We're Dying" by Kris Allen. The song grows on you, but I expected something more.
9. "Wasted" by Carrie Underwood. On a personal note ... well ... this song does kind of foretell my future.
10. "Wait For You" by Elliott Yamin. Again, how the hell did Taylor and (chick who will never be named on this site due to my intense, soul-consuming, john-elway-esque hatred of her) finish 1-2 ahead of Elliott and Daughtry?
And for anyone who claims I'm biased ... my favorite Idol contestant does not appear in this list. Other than noting his cameo in the video for number four. See, I can be fair and objective ...
* "So how would you fix the Big XII?" -- Drew K, Shawnee.
First, you assume the Big XII has a competitive balance issue. (OK, it does ... although for what its worth, I really, really, really like Nebraska to upset Texas in two weeks).
Having said that, these are the three fixes I'd bring in:
1. Move OU to the North, and Missouri to the South. If you figure that Texas / OU is always going to dominate the South, and either MU or Nebraska has won the last four North titles (a situation not likely to change anytime soon as well), why not split them up? Plus, consider three positives this single shift creates:
a. You restore OU / Nebraska every year. As someone who grew up a Huskers fan, this is a must for me.
b. You create the opportunity for a Texas / OU conference title game every year. Who wouldn't want that? Oh, and
c. You get fix number two:
2. Designate a "rivalry" game, at a neutral site every year. Its already happening anyways for a lot of the teams. Here's the rivalries I'd protect:
a. Kansas (N) vs Missouri (S), rotate between Arrowhead and the Edward Jones Dome.
b. Texas (N) vs Oklahoma (S), at Cowboys Stadium.
c. Kansas State (N) vs Iowa State (N), rotate between Arrowhead and the Edward Jones Dome.
d. Texas A&M (S) vs Texas Tech (S), at Reliant Stadium.
e. Nebraska (N) vs Colorado (N), at fake mile high.
f. Oklahoma State (S) vs Baylor (S), at whatever high school field will accommodate them.
These six games, NO MATTER WHAT, regardless of divisional affiliation, get played every year. And they should be the conference opener for each team. (AKA, played either the last weekend in September, or the first in October). But wait, you say. You're protecting inter-divisional rivalries? How can this work? How can you help ensure some semblance of a "balanced schedule" for all teams in the division? Glad you asked! Because fix numero tres is to ...
3. Add a ninth conference game! You add a conference game, you guarantee every team a minimum of 6 home games every year, and most likely they'll play seven. They have the potential to max out at 8 every other season. PLUS you have the neutral site "rivalry" game as well. To put it another way, adding a conference game GUARANTEES you an extra home game every two years! (And the rivalry game guarantees you one less true road game EVERY year). Besides, the first six "rivalry" teams in point two have given up that home game, some for decades, some more recently. The last six break even with the "rivalry neutral site" game if you add the ninth conference game! Plus, you no longer have .500 finishes in conference. Every team will either be a winner, or a loser.
So let's see here. You restore yearly the Big 8's best rivalry. You ensure yearly the conference's three best current rivalries (KU / MU, Texas / OU, Nebraska / Colorado). You open the door to Texas vs OU for the national title berth, just like the SEC this year with Florida / Alabama. And you get rid of a layup win for each team via the 9th conference game, and force them to schedule someone other than a Sun Belt or MAC team. What's not to love?
* "What did you think of Amanda's return to Melrose Place?" -- Kellie B, KCK.
I thought it was ok. I have to be honest though; I'm about three episodes away from pulling the plug on the TiVo recording. This current cast is so awful for the most part, that its truly unwatchable for long stretches of time. Still, I'll give Amanda three weeks to see if I stay on board. I loved the original "Melrose". The least I can do is give this one enough time to kick useless Ashlee Simpson-Wentz to the curb (which thankfully happens in two weeks).
* "What did you think of "The Messiah" getting the Cy Young? You remember we saw his debut start, right?" -- Jasson W, Lenexa.
Hell yes I remember. It was the Friday before Memorial Day 2004. Greinke went 8, gave up only 2 hits, 1 run, and I immediately started calling him "The Messiah", because he was going to salvage the Royals season. I'm pretty sure I still have the ticket in the cigar box full of, uuh, tickets. And yeah, I might have been a little off on "salvaging the season" ... but I think its awesome to see people live up to their potential. Good for Wacky Zacky!
(Side note: as awesome as his debut was, NOBODY was more geeked that summer than me for a mid-June duel between Greinke and Tom Glavine when the Mets came to town. I'm shocked my private areas weren't as blurred on the walk in as Sam and Dan's were on "Amazing Race" last week. That, to me, was my second favorite Royals game of the decade, even though we lost 5-2. To see "The Messiah" against my favorite pitcher from the 90s and now, I still get chills thinking about it).
(My favorite Royals game of the decade, its a close call between Opening Day 2004, when I infamously bet Gregg a steak dinner at Morton's that Mendy Lopez would not go yard ... or the Fathers Day Game in 2003, when a reeling Royals squad started some retread from the Jersey Shore League named Jose Lima ... when Barry Bonds hit a home run that hit the roof of the old right field GA concession stand ... and Mike Sweeney ripped a 0-2 fastball off Joe Nathan into the gap to win the game 5-4. I gotta go with the latter, 2003 was just too sweet of a season to give the nod to anything from 2004).
* "Lou Dobbs! Out at CNN! You're the resident loony liberal, your thoughts?" -- Brett H, Harrisonville.
I have never cared for Lou Dobbs. Although the SNL sketch couple years ago where they dropped the "sorry Amy, but the simple fact is, if you didn't eat a taco last week, you didn't get sick!" line was priceless. I do wish Lou the best though: unemployment right now sucks for anyone.
There's really only five "talkers" or "prime time cable show hosts" I listen to:
5. Rachel Maddow. She and I see eye to eye on a lot. Plus, she's as p*ssed off at the Dems right now as I am.
4. Rush Limbaugh. Say what you want about him, he's always entertaining. (And wrong more often than he'll admit).
3. Shanin and Parks. 980's 2 to 6pm crew. Loved them calling out Dennis Moore for being the chicken sh*t coward that he is.
2. Chris Matthews. Don't really feel a tingle up my leg when I hear him, but I like his show a lot. And ...
1. Ed Schultz. Great show on XM 167 from 11 to 2, and his MSNBC show is appointment television.
* "So ... would you fire Mark Mangino?" -- Brent S, Northeast Johnson County.
I've given up trying to remember which city you live in. I always screw it up, so why bother to try.
Anyways. The Mangino question, to me ... is a very, very difficult one.
I wrote earlier this year about how if KU didn't beat OU (or insert South team here) in the spot we had them, it was never going to happen in the Mangino era. I also noted in that post about how when every other KU coach faced that make-or-break moment, they all lost, and all were gone within a year of said loss. So I'm not going to say I'm shocked that the season fell apart like it did, or that Coach is facing the sh*tstorm he is.
I'm also not going to defend his conference record. He has never beaten OU, Texas, or Texas Tech. He's had four tough losses against those teams (2004, led Tech 30-5 at the half, lost 31-30; 2004 led Texas by 14 in the 4th quarter and lost; 2005 lost by a touchdown to OU at Arrowhead; 2008 lost a shootout in Norman). But the bottom line is, he lost them all.
He's 2-6 against Nebraska. He's 4-3 against MU pending Saturday's outcome. He's 4-4 against KSU. So he's not exactly beating his Northern rivals like a government mule either.
On the other hand ... KU Football was a regional joke before he arrived. (I'd call it a national one, only noone noticed). With a win Saturday, Mangino goes 5 straight years at .500 or better, unheard of at Kansas. He'd be bowl eligible 6 out of his last 7 years (2004 being the sole exception). And 2004, if we don't blow the two tough losses at home to Tech and UT, we're going bowling.
To me, I don't care if he yells at kids, if he (god forbid) sticks a finger in their chest. What really irked me, was the story from the kids he coached in his one year at some Pennsylvania high school. If he truly sat on recruiting letters, he NEVER should be entrusted to run a program. Its one thing to yell at a kid you recruit. Its quite another to f*ck with a high school senior's life. If the allegations in the LJW article are true, that he really did sit on recruitment letters, that to me is a fireable offense with cause.
Bottom line: I think he's either the Doug Collins of KU Football, or the Marty Schottenheimer of KU Football. Either way, he's toast after Saturday. The question is, do we hire Phil Jackson to replace him (and put us over the hump), or do we hire Gunther Cunningham to replace him (and take four steps back). Lew clearly wants him out. I hope he knows what he's doing.
OK a few more before hitting the grand finale:
* "Who's gonna be the team that comes from nowhere to steal a playoff berth?" -- Vineet T, Queens.
I know it sounds ridiculous, but Tennessee? They're going to be favored in 5 of their remaining 6, and the one they'll be a dog in, is Indy, always a grudge match. If they survive Arizona this week, look out. Ditto in the NFC, again, from the "I know it sounds ridiculous" department, but San Francisco? Another 4-6 team that, if they survive at home this week, should be favored in most of their remaining games, and might steal the six seed at 9-7.
* "How's the bowling league going so far?" -- Jon G, Brookside.
Call me crazy, but when teammates are chucking bowling balls at each other from 20 plus feet away in fits of frustration, I'm guessing "not well".
* "Your thoughts on the D Bowe suspension?" -- Justin B, Olathe.
Its what happens when an incompetent head coach rides a prima donna wide receiver too hard in training camp. I won't be shedding any tears if both of them are elsewhere next year.
* "Wait, you think the Chiefs should sh*t can Todd Haley?!?! After only one year?!?!" -- Mickey M, Lee's Summit.
Yes.
* "Really?" -- Gordon G, Clinton.
Yes. Define for me anything he's done to make this team better. He's delivered one -- one! -- legitimately professional coaching performance in 13 outings and counting. He's Gunther Junior. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I believe a head coach should have three years minimum to implement his system and his plan ... UNLESS he exhibits gross incompetence on the job or commits a jailable offense off the field. Watch the gamefilm. "Gross incompetence" is an understatement for what Todd Haley has done so far.
Pull the plug, admit the mistake, and bring in someone who has a clue. Keeping Todd Haley sets us back two years in the rebuild at least. Because we'll be drafting for his style in 2010, instead of his replacement's. And if you don't think that matters, look at how keeping Gunther after 1999 completely detroyed the Chiefs drafts in 2000 (drafted based on a power running scheme instead of the vertical attack that replaced Gun) and 2001 (traded every decent pick to steal the Rams QB, head coach, and offensive coordinator). Granted, the way he was going, Carl would have f*cked those drafts up on his own, but we basically whizzed away two straight drafts by keeping an obviously in-over-his-head coach in Gun for another season. I'm truly convinced that you're better off firing a guy a year too soon, than a year too late.
* "I'm just glad to see you hate someone other than me for a chance" -- Richard V, Napa Valley.
You're welcome. And for the record, your merlot is one of the best red wines I have ever had in my life.
* "I still can't believe you're harder on Todd Haley than you are on Trey Hillman" -- Phil S, Overland Park.
I don't pay $1000 plus per season to watch Trey f*ck up the basics. And to be fair, you sat by me for a few clunkers in the 2004 season ticket year. NOBODY was harder on Tony Pena than me. I just hope the poor railing there in front of 336 has recovered from the regular beating my scorebook gave it.
* "How hard is it gonna be to root for A&M tonight? Gig 'em Aggies!" -- annoying drunk, uneducated hick A&M fan, anywhere they exist.
Very. I think the reason I've been drinking so much today is because I am not prepared to do this tonight. I hate A&M with a passion. I still raise a glass everytime someone remembers the bonfire "tragedy" from 10 years ago. (Hang on ... (steve raising glass) ... ok much better). Cheering for A&M tonight is gonna suck. But its crunch time for the alma mater. Need Texas to lose, and lose convincingly. Two shots for it to happen, starting tonight.
* When the annual "I'm Thankful For" column is coming out?" -- Megan K, Berlin.
Well, let's do it now.
I wasn't sure whether to post anything, because quite honestly, this has been a horrendous year for me personally, and financially, and emotionally. Probably the worst since 1999 or 2000, which are the only two truly "there's not one damned thing from this year worth being thankful for" years in the memory. Having said that, I raise a glass to the following:
a. to new friends. As I jokingly noted after the Steelers win, "I didn't even know you two" the last time we won a home game. So to Kellie and Katie, welcome aboard. Hope you all stick around awhile.
b. to new eras. I'll defend Carl Peterson, but it was time for him to go. I voted for John McCain, but it was time for a change in direction for this nation. And I'll miss living with Dusty, but sometimes "breaking up" is best for all involved.
c. to summer tailgating. Loved the 300,001st ouncer. That needs to become a yearly occurrance, just "up the odometer" if you will. Loved Megan's return tailgate, although hopefully we won't just celebrate once a summer going forward. Loved finding a sweet spot behind Lot A in the grass. Loved that no matter how p*ssed me and certain folks got at each other, we could always set aside the anger and hostilities for a few hours of drinking and chucking washers in the sun. That's a big part of what matters in life, at least to me -- good folks, having good times, under (hopefully) "unseasonably warm conditions".
d. to those who stood by me. Its been a rough year. Yet nobody turned their back and ran. May have been a few rough stretches, but what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, right? I am truly, truly blessed to have the friends and family that I do in this life. And finally,
e. to the true meaning of the holiday season. Which is this. No matter how much you know you've screwed up, or messed up, or effed up, or (insert adjective here) up ... you always get a second chance. Or third. Or fourth. (Or in my case, approximately chance number 25,294,119). Christmas is not just about gifts and hams and drinking ridiculous amounts of wine ... ok, maybe in my family, that last one is true, but still ... no, Christmas is about the fact that you can always find redemption.
I guess that's why I love this time of year so much. Hope its as good for you, as it is for me. Now go eat some turkey and get ready for some early morning shopping ...
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
the week twelve predictions
Even by my standards ... yikes. Last week was a HHH sledgehammer to the nuts kind of week. I'll try to do better ...
Last Week SU: 8-8-0.
Season to Date SU: 93-67-0.
Last Week ATS: 4-12-0.
Season to Date ATS: 75-84-1.
Last Week Upset / Week: ugh.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 5-6.
This Week's Upset / Week: denver (+7) over Giants.
The Non-Chiefs Predictions:
* Packers (-10 1/2) 41, at Lions 13.
* at Cowboys (-13 1/2) 34, raiders 3.
* at broncos (+7) 14, Giants 10.
* at Texans (+3) 31, Colts 28.
* at Bengals (-14) 45, Browns 0.
* at Vikings (-10 1/2) 38, Bears 20.
* at Eagles (-9) 31, Redskins 13.
* Dolphins (-3) 17, at Bills 9.
* at Titans (NL) 31, Cardinals 30.
* at Rams (+3) 6, Seahawks 2.
* at Falcons (-12) 35, Bucs 0.
* Panthers (+3) 16, at Jets 10.
* Jaguars (+3) 23, at 49ers 17.
* at Ravens (NL) 13, Steelers 10.
* at Saints (-3) 41, Patriots 37.
The Chiefs Prognostication:
Well, since I've been called out for this quote all week, let's relive it, ok?
"There is not one sane, logical reason for me to pick the Chiefs to win this game. And in fact, I'm not going to. Because I don't see any way the Chiefs can win this game, short of every member of the Steelers coming down with some horrific illness or injury".
I've taken a ton of crap this week for that prediction. (Funny how I merely verbalized what EVERYONE in town was thinking, yet somehow, I'm the poster child for disbelief in the Chiefs. Really. Me, the model of having a less-than-optimistic view on the Red and Gold. Clearly, someone hasn't read the archives on this site, or ever visited the old site, or ever gotten the Friday Predictions from back in the day).
But, in the interest of fairness, let's just look at a couple things.
Passing Yards: Steelers 415, Chiefs 248.
Completion Percentage: Steelers 75%, Chiefs 50%.
Rushing Yards: Steelers 114, Chiefs 68.
Total Plays Run: Steelers 78, Chiefs 55.
Time of Possession: Steelers 44:07, Chiefs 22:25.
Red Zone Efficiency: Steelers 60% (3 of 5), Chiefs 33% (1 of 3)
Average Gain Per Play: Steelers 6.6, Chiefs 5.1
There is not one stat in there that suggests any "sane, logical reason" to explain how the Chiefs won this game. Even the turnover margin was merely +1 for KC.
So what won it for the Red and Gold? You can point to Charles' kickoff return, fine ... but the Steelers dropped 17 unanswered after that. I'm not buying it. You can point to Studebaker's two 3rd quarter INTs ... but the Steelers answered with a quick touchdown of their own after those potential back-breakers.
No, I point to something else. Something in the very next paragraph after the fateful quote above:
"What I want to see Sunday is something that really we haven't seen yet this season out of Coach Haley. Professionalism ... I want to see a competent, coherent, respectable gameplan on offense. I was to see a composed, dignified behavior on the sideline. I want to see our best players on the field, not in some proverbial doghouse because Coach has his panties in a bunch over some missed assignment from three weeks ago. I want to see a PROFESSIONAL football team on display".
Sunday, for the first time in a while, we saw PROFESSIONAL football on display. No insane temper tantrums by the head coach. No ridiculous sideline pouting. No retarded benching of guys for no apparent reason. When the guys at the top are professional, it tends to filter down.
Look it, the Chiefs don't have the talent to win in San Diego. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but let's be realistic here. We caught the perfect storm at Arrowhead on Sunday. I don't expect the scenarios we saw on Sunday (trap game for the other team, perfect special teams execution by the Chiefs, opening up the playbook at just the right time) to repeat themselves.
What I DO expect to continue, or at least I DEMAND continue, is that Coach Haley and his troops play PROFESSIONAL football. That's all I ask going forward. No more acting like a two year old who just sh*t his diapers and is growing impatient for someone to change him. Act like a PROFESSIONAL. I cannot stress this enough.
And who knows. If the professionalism shows up again on Sunday like it did last week, maybe my statement two paragraphs above looks as ridiculous as my dire prediction last week. A kid can dream.
at Chargers 27, Chiefs (+13 1/2) 14.
Last Week SU: 8-8-0.
Season to Date SU: 93-67-0.
Last Week ATS: 4-12-0.
Season to Date ATS: 75-84-1.
Last Week Upset / Week: ugh.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 5-6.
This Week's Upset / Week: denver (+7) over Giants.
The Non-Chiefs Predictions:
* Packers (-10 1/2) 41, at Lions 13.
* at Cowboys (-13 1/2) 34, raiders 3.
* at broncos (+7) 14, Giants 10.
* at Texans (+3) 31, Colts 28.
* at Bengals (-14) 45, Browns 0.
* at Vikings (-10 1/2) 38, Bears 20.
* at Eagles (-9) 31, Redskins 13.
* Dolphins (-3) 17, at Bills 9.
* at Titans (NL) 31, Cardinals 30.
* at Rams (+3) 6, Seahawks 2.
* at Falcons (-12) 35, Bucs 0.
* Panthers (+3) 16, at Jets 10.
* Jaguars (+3) 23, at 49ers 17.
* at Ravens (NL) 13, Steelers 10.
* at Saints (-3) 41, Patriots 37.
The Chiefs Prognostication:
Well, since I've been called out for this quote all week, let's relive it, ok?
"There is not one sane, logical reason for me to pick the Chiefs to win this game. And in fact, I'm not going to. Because I don't see any way the Chiefs can win this game, short of every member of the Steelers coming down with some horrific illness or injury".
I've taken a ton of crap this week for that prediction. (Funny how I merely verbalized what EVERYONE in town was thinking, yet somehow, I'm the poster child for disbelief in the Chiefs. Really. Me, the model of having a less-than-optimistic view on the Red and Gold. Clearly, someone hasn't read the archives on this site, or ever visited the old site, or ever gotten the Friday Predictions from back in the day).
But, in the interest of fairness, let's just look at a couple things.
Passing Yards: Steelers 415, Chiefs 248.
Completion Percentage: Steelers 75%, Chiefs 50%.
Rushing Yards: Steelers 114, Chiefs 68.
Total Plays Run: Steelers 78, Chiefs 55.
Time of Possession: Steelers 44:07, Chiefs 22:25.
Red Zone Efficiency: Steelers 60% (3 of 5), Chiefs 33% (1 of 3)
Average Gain Per Play: Steelers 6.6, Chiefs 5.1
There is not one stat in there that suggests any "sane, logical reason" to explain how the Chiefs won this game. Even the turnover margin was merely +1 for KC.
So what won it for the Red and Gold? You can point to Charles' kickoff return, fine ... but the Steelers dropped 17 unanswered after that. I'm not buying it. You can point to Studebaker's two 3rd quarter INTs ... but the Steelers answered with a quick touchdown of their own after those potential back-breakers.
No, I point to something else. Something in the very next paragraph after the fateful quote above:
"What I want to see Sunday is something that really we haven't seen yet this season out of Coach Haley. Professionalism ... I want to see a competent, coherent, respectable gameplan on offense. I was to see a composed, dignified behavior on the sideline. I want to see our best players on the field, not in some proverbial doghouse because Coach has his panties in a bunch over some missed assignment from three weeks ago. I want to see a PROFESSIONAL football team on display".
Sunday, for the first time in a while, we saw PROFESSIONAL football on display. No insane temper tantrums by the head coach. No ridiculous sideline pouting. No retarded benching of guys for no apparent reason. When the guys at the top are professional, it tends to filter down.
Look it, the Chiefs don't have the talent to win in San Diego. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but let's be realistic here. We caught the perfect storm at Arrowhead on Sunday. I don't expect the scenarios we saw on Sunday (trap game for the other team, perfect special teams execution by the Chiefs, opening up the playbook at just the right time) to repeat themselves.
What I DO expect to continue, or at least I DEMAND continue, is that Coach Haley and his troops play PROFESSIONAL football. That's all I ask going forward. No more acting like a two year old who just sh*t his diapers and is growing impatient for someone to change him. Act like a PROFESSIONAL. I cannot stress this enough.
And who knows. If the professionalism shows up again on Sunday like it did last week, maybe my statement two paragraphs above looks as ridiculous as my dire prediction last week. A kid can dream.
at Chargers 27, Chiefs (+13 1/2) 14.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
bukcs party numero uno
The weekend ended spectacularly well, with a huge Chiefs upset over the Steelers.
The weekend started just as good, with the initial BuKCs party of 2009-2010.
What. You thought this BuKCs affiliation ended with just a one season fling? (keyshawn voice) Come on man! I'm not a one night stand ... ok, one season stand, kind of guy. (Unless I get really, really drunk. Then all bets are off).
The initial BuKCs party last year was at Dusty's old place. This year's debut was at Gregg and Ashley's. As always, here's your recap ...
* Friday, 4:30pm. I arrive at Raytown's finest liquor establishment, the Whiskey Barrel. They had plenty of Bell's products available ... but no Lakefront. Very disappointing. (But that didn't stop you from buying 3 mix and match 6 packs, right?) Hell no it didn't.
* Friday 5:50ish pm. I get out of the shower, and my phone is ringing. Its Dusty. "Can we get a ride". Sure, champ. So after picking up Dusty and his lovely better half, its off to the party.
* Arrived about 7pm on the dot. This might be the first time in my life I've shown up, or been ready, for something on time at Gregg's. And I lived with the guy for 8 years. I'm just saying.
* The four of us (Katie arrived at the same time as us) were amongst the first to arrive. I believe Eric and his latest girlfriend were already there, and I'm pretty sure we had a Kyle sighting.
* Brent and Sara up next. (Again, I apologize if I spelled Sara wrong. I'd call her Hoss like everyone else does ... but that just sounds wrong. You just don't call a chick as hot as she is, a "Hoss". You call her, well, "hot as hell blonde chick". Or "Sara".)
* They brought with them someone who not only is from Central Wisconsin ... who not only is a bona fide, certifed life-long BuKCs fan ... but he's (allegedly) got ticket connections! January 30. Miami. Milwaukee. I'm drooling already.
(And since I can't remember his name, I'll pull a time honored tradition out and call him "Phil").
* Ashley made some kick ass BuKCs cookies. Beyond beautiful.
* After some initial pleasantries, a group of us (ok, me, Gregg, Brent, and "Phil") headed down to watch the BuKCs. Most everyone else, stayed upstairs to watch (I assume) some basketball and (far more likely) to make fun of us, and shoot the sh*t. Either way, its all good.
* BJ opened strong, dropping in 17 points in the opening quarter, as the BuKCs sprinted out to a 30-25 lead. Also starting out strong: me, who was three Bell's beers in before tipoff, and 5 down by the end of one.
* The BuKCs dominated the second quarter, holding the Bobcats to only 16 points, and sprinting to a 12 point lead at the half. The key to the second quarter? "Cut" Ersan Ilyavich, who was draining top of the key three's, playing rock solid defense, and generally irritating the living hell out of Gregg. That's a winning combination in my book!
* I wanted to drop the "see, this is why the Bobcats need to sign Nathan Scott" joke that apparently nobody other than me finds funny, but then realized why nobody else finds it funny: because nobody in the room (other than me) watches "One Tree Hill". (And that's probably because the odds of a white point guard who doesn't play ball for five years, suddenly rising up through the D League, then quitting on his team, yet STILL getting signed to a multi year contract with the local NBA team is so ridiculous to contemplate, that I can't believe I watch this crap every Monday night. Again, its a WHITE dude! How about some realism!
Seriously, you can count the number of white, American, born-and-raised point guards in this league on about 3 fingers. Steve Blake in Portland, who's atrocious. Jason Williams in Orlando, who was washed up 5 years ago. And the BuKCs very own Luke Ridnour. And NONE of them are worth a damn. Save for maybe Ridnour. And before I get the "you left out Steve Nash, he's white and he's pretty good!" responses ... Steve Nash is Canadian. Not "American born-and-raised".
Wait, where was I going with this? Damned if I know. Back to the recap ...)
* Third quarter, more BuKCs solid defense, as the Bobcats again fail to crack 20 points in the quarter. BuKCs stretch the lead to 16, and save for the last 80, 90 seconds in the fourth quarter, never let Charlotte close to within 10. BuKCs win! BuKCs win! 95-88.
* Postgame, we'd decided earlier that if the BuKCs did win, we'd text our "good friend", the BuKCs GM John Hammond, to congratulate him and see what happens. Yup, we got a response! He thanked us for our continued support, gushed about how good BJ is, and thanked us again for our continued support. Neat stuff.
* Then the games begin. I tried some Tiger Woods golf on the Wii. I apparently suck as bad playing golf on a video game, as I do in real life. So it was off to play some card catchphrase game, Apples to Apples. That was a couple hours of drunken fun.
* Left around midnight. Kellie was down for the count, as she started to sleep in the back seat. And then started to ramble about how "I miss you Steve. I wish you and Dusty still lived together. I really miss seeing you all the time". I'm chalking that one up to drunken delusion. But still, its nice to be liked and missed.
* After dropping them off, it was off to the apartment and some sleep. Still had the Saturday night pre-party and the (completely unexpected) Steelers victory to celebrate on Sunday.
But still, BuKCs party numero uno was a hit. We gained a few new fans, retained most of the old ones, and got to witness a solid BuKCs victory without two of our three or four best players even participating. (Redd is out with a knee, Bogut out with a back). Which makes the 8-4 start to this season that much more frigging awesome ...
The weekend started just as good, with the initial BuKCs party of 2009-2010.
What. You thought this BuKCs affiliation ended with just a one season fling? (keyshawn voice) Come on man! I'm not a one night stand ... ok, one season stand, kind of guy. (Unless I get really, really drunk. Then all bets are off).
The initial BuKCs party last year was at Dusty's old place. This year's debut was at Gregg and Ashley's. As always, here's your recap ...
* Friday, 4:30pm. I arrive at Raytown's finest liquor establishment, the Whiskey Barrel. They had plenty of Bell's products available ... but no Lakefront. Very disappointing. (But that didn't stop you from buying 3 mix and match 6 packs, right?) Hell no it didn't.
* Friday 5:50ish pm. I get out of the shower, and my phone is ringing. Its Dusty. "Can we get a ride". Sure, champ. So after picking up Dusty and his lovely better half, its off to the party.
* Arrived about 7pm on the dot. This might be the first time in my life I've shown up, or been ready, for something on time at Gregg's. And I lived with the guy for 8 years. I'm just saying.
* The four of us (Katie arrived at the same time as us) were amongst the first to arrive. I believe Eric and his latest girlfriend were already there, and I'm pretty sure we had a Kyle sighting.
* Brent and Sara up next. (Again, I apologize if I spelled Sara wrong. I'd call her Hoss like everyone else does ... but that just sounds wrong. You just don't call a chick as hot as she is, a "Hoss". You call her, well, "hot as hell blonde chick". Or "Sara".)
* They brought with them someone who not only is from Central Wisconsin ... who not only is a bona fide, certifed life-long BuKCs fan ... but he's (allegedly) got ticket connections! January 30. Miami. Milwaukee. I'm drooling already.
(And since I can't remember his name, I'll pull a time honored tradition out and call him "Phil").
* Ashley made some kick ass BuKCs cookies. Beyond beautiful.
* After some initial pleasantries, a group of us (ok, me, Gregg, Brent, and "Phil") headed down to watch the BuKCs. Most everyone else, stayed upstairs to watch (I assume) some basketball and (far more likely) to make fun of us, and shoot the sh*t. Either way, its all good.
* BJ opened strong, dropping in 17 points in the opening quarter, as the BuKCs sprinted out to a 30-25 lead. Also starting out strong: me, who was three Bell's beers in before tipoff, and 5 down by the end of one.
* The BuKCs dominated the second quarter, holding the Bobcats to only 16 points, and sprinting to a 12 point lead at the half. The key to the second quarter? "Cut" Ersan Ilyavich, who was draining top of the key three's, playing rock solid defense, and generally irritating the living hell out of Gregg. That's a winning combination in my book!
* I wanted to drop the "see, this is why the Bobcats need to sign Nathan Scott" joke that apparently nobody other than me finds funny, but then realized why nobody else finds it funny: because nobody in the room (other than me) watches "One Tree Hill". (And that's probably because the odds of a white point guard who doesn't play ball for five years, suddenly rising up through the D League, then quitting on his team, yet STILL getting signed to a multi year contract with the local NBA team is so ridiculous to contemplate, that I can't believe I watch this crap every Monday night. Again, its a WHITE dude! How about some realism!
Seriously, you can count the number of white, American, born-and-raised point guards in this league on about 3 fingers. Steve Blake in Portland, who's atrocious. Jason Williams in Orlando, who was washed up 5 years ago. And the BuKCs very own Luke Ridnour. And NONE of them are worth a damn. Save for maybe Ridnour. And before I get the "you left out Steve Nash, he's white and he's pretty good!" responses ... Steve Nash is Canadian. Not "American born-and-raised".
Wait, where was I going with this? Damned if I know. Back to the recap ...)
* Third quarter, more BuKCs solid defense, as the Bobcats again fail to crack 20 points in the quarter. BuKCs stretch the lead to 16, and save for the last 80, 90 seconds in the fourth quarter, never let Charlotte close to within 10. BuKCs win! BuKCs win! 95-88.
* Postgame, we'd decided earlier that if the BuKCs did win, we'd text our "good friend", the BuKCs GM John Hammond, to congratulate him and see what happens. Yup, we got a response! He thanked us for our continued support, gushed about how good BJ is, and thanked us again for our continued support. Neat stuff.
* Then the games begin. I tried some Tiger Woods golf on the Wii. I apparently suck as bad playing golf on a video game, as I do in real life. So it was off to play some card catchphrase game, Apples to Apples. That was a couple hours of drunken fun.
* Left around midnight. Kellie was down for the count, as she started to sleep in the back seat. And then started to ramble about how "I miss you Steve. I wish you and Dusty still lived together. I really miss seeing you all the time". I'm chalking that one up to drunken delusion. But still, its nice to be liked and missed.
* After dropping them off, it was off to the apartment and some sleep. Still had the Saturday night pre-party and the (completely unexpected) Steelers victory to celebrate on Sunday.
But still, BuKCs party numero uno was a hit. We gained a few new fans, retained most of the old ones, and got to witness a solid BuKCs victory without two of our three or four best players even participating. (Redd is out with a knee, Bogut out with a back). Which makes the 8-4 start to this season that much more frigging awesome ...
Monday, November 23, 2009
chiefs! steelers! good times!
The streamers.
I read somewhere once, I believe in a Rick Reilly column regarding Jack Nicklaus' win at Augusta, that when you don't know where to begin, when you don't know how to rationally put your thoughts on paper (or in this case, cyberspace), focus on one point and expand from there.
For me, its the streamers.
If you've been to a game at Arrowhead, you know what I'm talking about. Those loyal, die hard fans in the upper deck who somehow smuggle in red and gold streamers, and unleash them on the fans below after every big Chiefs score. In the Vermeil years, you had the streamers flying every what, 10, 15 minutes? The last few years, sadly, we haven't really had a deluge of streamers. Save for last year's win over denver, there hasn't been much to celebrate since mid 2007.
(Yup, the Chiefs are 2-16 in their last 18 home games that count, dating back to Green Bay to open the second half of 2007. Yikes.)
Yesterday though, in the 4th quarter, in overtime, they just came flying down. Continuously. It was like the good old days in there. Fans yelling, cheering, smacking the back of the seats in front of them. Exciting comebacks. Shut down defense. Knocking the other team's quarterback out cold. And a simple little flair pass into the flat that turns into a 61 yard scamper that opens the floodgates on my tear ducts.
It was just ... it was beautiful.
* Huge tailgating contingent yesterday. I'd like to say that its because we all had faith the Chiefs would win, but let's be realistic. Not even I thought we could do this, and I'm just about the most delusional (aka optimistic) person I know. Still, when both the bus and the ambulance are pretty well filled up at 6:30, its a good sign.
* Arrived at the gates around 7. Met some folks who wound up parking next to us, who'd just bought a bus and were about to undertake the process of converting it from school bus to tailgate central. You gotta admire that.
* Also met a ton of Steelers fans. I'll give them this: they travel like no team I've ever seen. Not even Green Bay or Dallas fans filled that stadium like Pittsburgh fan did yesterday. I've never seen the lower bowl so filled with visiting fans. They were everywhere. Towels included.
* To say yesterday's tailgating main course was the best we've ever had ... well, might be stretching it a bit. Nancy's steak kabobs are always a special pleasure, and Monty makes a mean kabob as well. Ditto russ' Raider ribs. But the Philly cheesesteaks yesterday, holy Lord. I stopped at two. I easily could have had five. At least two people proclaimed it the "best tailgate food ever". They really were tremendous. In fact, by the time we finished eating some after the game, there was literally nothing left. I don't remember the last time we didn't have leftovers to take home for Monday's lunch. Nearly 25 pounds of cheesesteak, all gone. And worth every bite.
* To the shock of everyone, we had an early Dusty and Kellie arrival. However, to the shock of noone, I posted one of my worst efforts at washers of the season, extending to the losing streak to the ex-roommate to 2,516,872 (approximate).
* Panic moment of the day: its 11:10ish. We're packing up ... and suddenly realize, I don't have my ticket. Nancy was supposed to leave it on Saturday night, only nobody bothered to remember to grab it. We manage to get ahold of Gusser, who heads down, finds the ticket, and volunteers to drive it out. I start walking from our tailgating spot to Stadium Drive to meet him. Its about a 5 minute walk, no biggie. Gusser, if he'd been driving the speed limit, observing all traffic laws, should have taken 12-15 minutes to make the drive. He literally got to the fence at the same time I did. THAT is a MVP performance in driving! I was in my seat before the anthem. Unreal.
* I don't know who this Trailer Choir band is that performed the anthem ... but if your vision of a band named "Trailer Choir" is a hot blond chick with two fat, no-talent dudes in overalls next to her, you'd be correct. All that was missing was a banjo and some nitwit kid eating grass to complete the "Deliverance" image.
* Loved the Scott Pioli / Mitch Holtgus "Happy Thanksgiving" ad. Also loved the "Mayne Street" ripoff that led into KC Wolf's sketch. Mitch Holtgus is a highly underrated comedian.
* Funniest sign: across the field from me. "KC Wolf Is Really Chuck E. Cheese". The stuff that makes me laugh. I mean, who thinks of random stuff like that? Plus, anytime you get a Chuck E. Cheese reference, you always think back to "Grumpier Old Men":
(max) why would people drive all the way out here for fine Italian dining, when we've got a Chuck E. Cheese in town?
(maria) I don't know this Cheese person ...
That scene always cracks me up.
* Chiefs win the toss and choose to receive. Solid opening kick for Josh Reed, as Jamaal Charles fields it at our 3. And then took it to the house. I have no idea how Jamaal Charles squeezed through the last line of Steelers defenders. But as soon as he did, and he hit the 40, 45 yard line, he was gone. He hit the after-burners, and was just gone. To say Arrowhead was loud after that, is an understatement.
* Sadly, however, all the positive energy, good will, and optimism that return initially inspired, was whizzed away by yet another baffling, clueless, completely inept offensive performance in the first half. The Chiefs managed three offensive first downs. 42 yards of net offense. 42! And considering we only had one penalty called on us in the half, that means we racked up 47 total yards! That's horrendous!
As the great Jim Mora once noted, "our fans were vomiting in the stands at that performance". That about sums up the first half for the Chiefs offense yesterday.
The worst of it, though, was saved for the Chiefs final possession of the first half. Trailing 17-7, reeling after two straight solid Steeler drives ended in touchdown passes to Heath Miller, the defense managed to force a punt, and the Chiefs took over at their own 30, with 1:10 to go and all three timeouts remaining.
70 seconds. All three timeouts. You only need a couple first downs to at least try a field goal that could pull you within seven at the half. With Succup's leg strength and the fact that there was no wind in there yesterday, you'd need to get to the 43 to try it from 60. We're talking 25 yards. In 70 seconds. With all three timeouts. Extremely doable.
On first down the Chiefs call a screen to Charles (which I was fine with), and it gained a first down. Tick. Tick. Tick. No urgency, no hurry up, and worst of all, no timeout called! What in the f*cking hell was Coach Haley thinking? The next play was a catastrophe, as Cassel was sacked. Still, no sense of urgency, no hurry up. And the Chiefs walked to the locker room with all three timeouts in their pocket, after basically refusing to try to score at the end of the half.
In section 132, this irate, angry as all effing hell 32 year old fired off his frustrations via text, asking "can we pull a jerry jones and fire his ass at halftime", along with a few other anti-Coach rants. To say I was angry, is an understatement. I spent a solid 5 minutes just standing, arms folded, staring at the Chiefs players entrance, trying to ... well, I don't know what I was trying to do. Look angry and mean I guess. But I was furious.
* Funniest text of the day: from Katie right before halftime. "stay away from the little girls". The Junior Chiefs cheerleaders were the halftime show. Great, my ex (jokingly ... I think ...) warning me to avoid pedophilia. Can this day get any better?
(Yup).
* At this point, I had no doubt how the second half would unfold. Pittsburgh would come out, score on the opening possession, then a horribly called or executed play would lead to a turnover, Steelers punch it in to go up 24, and Coach Haley implodes on the sidelines like a spoiled little brat, blaming everyone other than the f*cking idiot calling the plays for the lack of execution. Come on. I know at least half of you reading this are nodding your heads, going "yup, that's exactly what I was thinkin' too, boss".
Only ... well, if I'm going to rip him when he's an idiot, I have to praise him when he does something right.
I have no idea what Todd Haley said at halftime. I have no idea what he did to change this game around. But that team that came out for the second half, was a different team than the one that took the field 90 minutes earlier. You could kind of sense it. The first half, even after Charles' return, the attitude seemed to be "just keep it close, don't embarrass yourself, act like professionals today". The second half, its like Haley decided "f*ck it, we're not here to look good, we're here to win. Let's win this damned game".
* First Steelers drive of the half, the pass goes off Heath Miller's hands, and into Andy Studebaker's. Who falls down at the Chiefs 38 to give us some hope. And here's where you first really noticed the Chiefs weren't gonna go away quietly. (Well, other than that whole "whoa, they got a swagger now!" realization as they came out of the locker room at halftime).
The entire first half yesterday, hell pretty much of the entire season, not just yesterday, Todd Haley has pretty much refused to open the passing game up. For whatever reason, he's decided the dink-n-dunk, play it safe routine is what is best for this team, that playing conservative football gives us the best chance to win.
He's dead wrong, of course, as yesterday proved. But, to his credit: Haley finally got it yesterday.
After a sweet midfield pass to Chambers to pick up a key first down, Cassel dropped back and let it fly to Mark Bradley. First down Chiefs at about the Steelers 20. And then, on 3rd and 9 at the Steelers 21, knowing you at least need the three (to get back within a possession) but really, knowing he needed the six, Haley called one of the most beautiful fullback jailbreak passes I've ever seen. Leonard Pope, faking the block, then sprinting wide, wide open to the end zone, as the triple WRs on the left side of the formation had pulled both safeties to that side. It was Pope vs ... uuh, well, he was pretty much uncovered. NOBODY expected Leonard Pope to engage his man, then take off for the end zone. Cassel threw a perfect pass, and all of a sudden, its 17-14, Arrowhead is getting louder, and even I started to think "maybe ... just maybe ..."
* My text message after the Pope TD (seriously, watch the replay. This thing is just beautiful. OUTSTANDING! play call by Coach Haley on that one, just outstanding!) was simple. "were getting the taint here". The Steelers kept driving. Kept driving. And then, paydirt, as Roethlisberger was fooled by the coverage, and dropping into coverage Andy Studebaker made his second pick of the quarter, this one three yards deep in the end zone. And off he went. The 50! The 40! The 30! The 20! Sweet f*cking Jesus can he do it!
(No).
Sadly, tackled at the eight yard line. But three plays later, the Chiefs (correctly) opted to kick the tying field goal on 4th and goal, and just like that, the game was tied for the first time all day. We'd gone toe to toe with the defending Super Bowl champions for 45 minutes, and had battled them to a draw. Bring on the 4th quarter!
* The Steelers open with a sweet pass to Hines Ward to put them in business at the Chiefs 46. And that's as close as they got. Three incompletions later, out came the punting unit. For the first time, you could see those asshole Steeler fans nervously clutching their towels. Also, not coincidentally, for the first time, I started waving the red towel I had with me. You're damned right I went there. Wasn't quite as fun as Gregg waving his red hat to mock those smug assholes, but it was still sweet.
* And then, just like that, momentum crushed. Matt Cassel takes a (chuck barkley voice) TURRIBLE sack on 2nd down, loses the ball, and the Steelers have it at our 27. Five plays later, touchdown. 24-17 Steelers. To make matters worse, on the ensuing kickoff, as I'm screaming "take a f*cking knee!" at Charles, he decides to run it out of the end zone. Thanks to a block in the back, the Chiefs are now starting at their own 9. First down, nothing. Second down, nothing. Its 3rd and 9, clock ticking down near the 6 minute mark. Cassel comes to the line ... and calls timeout. The boos start raining down. Same old Chiefs, I'm sure many were thinking. (Myself included).
Only, I watched the Cassel / Haley interaction during that timeout. Last week in Oakland, Haley was berating Cassel for doing the same thing. This week, it was a calm, rational discussion on what the play should be. You could make a legitimate argument that this was the ballgame. Convert or else. There was no yelling, no screaming, no blaming anyone, it was ... it was professionalism. Which is what I'd begged and pleaded to see all week. And here, at the biggest moment of the game, the two key players (QB and coordinator) are as calm as can be. I turned to Monty and Chris and said "we're converting this, and we're tying this game". The smug Steeler fans behind me just started laughing. "You haven't converted this all day! You aren't starting now!"
The play, BAM!, a perfect strike to Lance Long streaking down the middle. Gain of 30 to the Steelers 40. Arrowhead starting to get louder, starting to feel it. Arguably the biggest conversion of the season so far.
And here's where I think the "new" Todd Haley, or at least the one I want running my team, took control of this game. The Todd Haley of the previous 9 weeks, calls a run to Charles there, to calm things down. The Todd Haley of yesterday orders up a bomb to Chris Chambers. 48 yard completion. Chambers just blew by the Steelers defenders. He was WIDE open. Sadly, the pass was underthrown, so the defender caught up and made the tackle. But I loved the concept there. You've just converted a huge 3rd and long. Rather than take a moment to gain your bearings, you drop another bomb on them. Loved it.
Then on first down, the fake up the middle to Charles, when everyone in the stadium KNEW it was going to be a run ... and instead, its a wide receiver reverse to Bobby Wade that gains 8. Awesome. You could feel it, the rising optimism, the rising crowd noise. The nervous as all hell Steelers fans.
Two plays later, a shovel pass to Charles for the tying score. Haley admitted after the game that he'd been waiting all game to use that call. I'd say he picked the perfect time.
* Its at this point I get an "urgent" text from Brent. "you have no qb still time to put in mcnabb". I forgot we swung a deal this week that traded my starting QB to the Salty Bananas, and I didn't log into my team on Sunday morning because I was running late and forgot about it. Thankfully, McNabb was inserted into the starting lineup, and team tito should move on to 7-3-1 after tonight.
* Still plenty of time left for Pittsburgh though. Amazingly, the defense forced a three and out. "Is this for real? Are you kidding me?" All common phrases heard at this point. The Chiefs are getting the ball back with a shot to win! Short lived though. Chiefs also go 3 and out, and punt back after the two minute warning. Roethlisberger opens the drive at his own 20, 1:47 and two timeouts to go, only needing a field goal. First down, one of the craziest sacks I've ever seen, Derrick Johnson literally riding the back of a hunched over offensive lineman, reaching out, grabbing Roethlisberger's jersey, and somehow, through sheer determination, dragging him to the ground. Arrowhead is going crazy! But, since it is the Chiefs ... illegal contact. Why in the hell Wallace Gilberry was on the field, let alone in pass coverage, is beyond me. (To be fair, prior to yesterday, I did not know we had a player named Wallace Gilberry on the roster). But that negated the sack. Roethlisberger does what he does best: drives the Steelers. They get to the Chiefs 43, facing a 3rd and 5, a little over a minute to go. Time to stand guys. The crowd noise at this point was just unreal. At this point, I had the same thoughts flashing through my head that I did for the KU / MU game last year. "Yeah, I want my team to win, but holy crap, this game has been way too good to end with something shady". The only thing I didn't want was some amped up Chiefs defender committing a pass interference call.
* So Roethlisberger drops back, and the blitz just engulfs him. Down goes Ben! I believe there were :57 remaining when he went down. The Chiefs had one timeout left.
And never used it.
(steve getting really angry) Todd, you did a tremendous job of coaching yesterday. Really, you did. (Well, once someone knocked you with a 2x4 in the head at halftime and convinced you to open things up). But your clock management skills are worse than piss poor. Herm's were piss poor. Yours are 1,000 times worse.
You completely f*cked up the closing drives of BOTH halves yesterday. Completely FUBAR'd them. I'm not saying the Chiefs would have driven to try the game winning field goal had we called that timeout with :57 to go. But we'd have gotten the ball back with about :50 left, at our own 20. 40 yards in 49 seconds. The way the passing game was flowing in that fourth quarter, you mean to tell me we couldn't have at least made it interesting?
* Steelers win the coin flip. I did the research this morning, Chiefs overtime games in the 2000s prior to yesterday. Here's the list:
1/2/00: Raiders 41, at Chiefs 38.
9/10/00: at Titans 17, Chiefs 14.
9/9/01: Raiders 27, at Chiefs 24.
12/16/01: at Chiefs 26, broncos 23.
9/22/02: at Patriots 41, Chiefs 38.
10/20/02: broncos 37, at Chiefs 34.
10/12/03: Chiefs 40, at Packers 34.
9/17/06: at broncos 9, Chiefs 6.
12/3/06: at Browns 31, Chiefs 28.
12/30/07: at Jets 13, Chiefs 10.
11/2/08: Bucs 30, at Chiefs 27.
11/11/09: Cowboys 26, at Chiefs 20.
Call me crazy, but when you're 2-9 in the decade in overtime, why wouldn't you stop that clock and try to win it in regulation? Dumb, dumb move by Todd Haley. Thankfully, he got away with it.
* Steelers open with a couple nice runs, a short pass to Hines Ward, and have a 2nd and 3 at their own 40. Ben scrambles, and is taken down. Hard. Replays show he pretty much got kneed in the head. I turn to the Steelers fan behind me and ask "who's the backup QB", because I truly have no clue. Turns out ... its Charlie Batch! I think at this point, all of Arrowhead was breathing a sigh of relief. Considering the Steelers were flagged for a blatant hold on the play, they've now got 2nd and 13 at their own 30, and Chuck Batch is under center.
* Three plays later, the Steelers have 3rd and 2 at the Chiefs 35. Seems Chuck Batch had no problems moving the ball against our defense. Shocking, I know. I get why the Steelers called a run in this spot. What I don't get is why they called the running play they did (a pitch to Moore). If anything, you just pound it up the middle there. You need two yards for the first down. No matter what though, you CANNOT lose yardage because you're right on the edge of trying the field goal. Its a 53 yarder at that point. If you lose yardage, you'll have to punt. That's why a pitch made no sense. Belcher just swallowed it up, Steelers lose 4, and in comes the punter.
* Having said that, why didn't the Steelers go ahead and try the field goal anyways? It would have been a 57 yard attempt, but there was no wind in that stadium, you've got a rock solid kicker with a good leg in Jeff Reed, and the ensuing punt only netted you 18 yards anyways. Plus there's that pesky little detail known as "if the kick was good, we win the game". I'd have at least lined up in the field goal formation, if only to pooch punt it. That seems to me to be a better play that letting the punter boom it into the end zone.
* Chiefs take over at their own 20. Jamaal Charles goes offtackle on first down ... and keeps going ... and keeps going ... he turned what should have been a 1, 2 yard gain into a gain of 11 and a first down. And then came the understated, undervalued, however you want to phrase it, THE key play of the game.
On 2nd and 5 (I think, it was 5 or 6 yards to go after the short pass to Pope on first down), Cassel drops back to pass and airs it out for Chambers deep. The Steelers defender is there just waiting for it. Its a layup interception. Only Chris Chambers never gave up on it, and somehow managed to knock the pass out of the defenders hands and onto the ground. I have no idea how that pass was incomplete. No idea. But Chambers made the play. Which set up ...
* 3rd and 5 at the Chiefs 36. Cassel calls a short, simple crossing route for Chambers, designed to get the first down, which he does. Only, he keeps going. And keeps going. And doesn't stop until he's at the Steelers 4! (dan dierdorf voice) Just a simple little flare ... Arrowhead was rocking now. Out comes Ryan Succup and Dusty C for the field goal attempt. I hit my knees in the traditional section 132 manner. The snap, the hold, the kick, its good! Chiefs win!
* The first thing I did, after the congratulatory hugs, high fives, and "wohoo!"s, was grab that red towel thingy, and just start waving it and chanting "Here we go Steelers, Here we go!" You're damned right I went there. I was a model of civility for 3 1/2 hours around thousands of annoying as f*ck Steelers fans. If you're gonna give it guys, be ready to take it.
(Although to be fair, I did simply congratulate the Steelers fan in front of me for a good game. He and his wife were perfectly acceptable football fans. It was the four loudmouthed drunks behind us that p*ssed me off. Especially the large blonde chick who kept screeching at every play, good or bad. Yes, screeching. I made sure I waved the towel in her face).
* The next thing, a congratulatory moment with the old roommate and his family. It was a relief to see that I wasn't the only one who had, uuh, some redness in their eyes.
* The walk up the ramp after a win is one of my favorite moments of the Arrowhead Experience. The jubilation, the chanting, the Tomahawk Chop, just beautiful. Oh, and with another accessory too. God love him, there was one person there yesterday who believed we'd win. Monty brought in the victory cigars. Rarely has a cigarillo tasted as good as that one did on the walk back to the buses.
* I finally get back up to the buses, and I'm pretty much one of the last ones to arrive. The celebratory high five with Dusty. Me noting that "the last time we won a home game, we hadn't even met each other yet" to Kellie and Katie. The hug with Mona. Then Sheila broke out the bubbly. Dusty lobbied for Monty to break out the stereo. Yeah, we weren't going anywhere for a while.
* After about an hour of postgame tailgating, it was off to Russ and Mona's for more, uuh, postgame tailgating. Seeing the donkeys get killed at home never gets old, even if I do want them to win this division if we can't (and I'm guessing at 3-7, 4 games behind San Diego with 6 to go, that we can't).
* Finally got home about 7pm last night. Sadly, there were no crazy post-game antics to report this week. No nudity in the hot tub, no falling down drunk on the stairs, just good times over some good booze and some tremendous Philly cheesesteaks. Anyways, after getting home, I poured myself a celebratory vodka and apple juice (highly underrated mixer, and believe me, I've tried mixing vodka with just about everything known to man) and crawled into bed to watch "The Amazing Race" and some football. And within 10 minutes, I fell asleep. I was just spent. (That, or intoxicated. Possibly both). Slept straight through until 7:32 this morning, which is what I set the alarm for last night. (Yeah, I'm leaning "intoxicated" at this point, definitely).
Still, what a great capper to a great weekend. I still need to recap the initial BuKCs party of 2009-2010, that was tremendous fun on Friday night. But this recap comes first. Because it was a
* Victory Sunday! I could definitely get used to a few more of these ...
I read somewhere once, I believe in a Rick Reilly column regarding Jack Nicklaus' win at Augusta, that when you don't know where to begin, when you don't know how to rationally put your thoughts on paper (or in this case, cyberspace), focus on one point and expand from there.
For me, its the streamers.
If you've been to a game at Arrowhead, you know what I'm talking about. Those loyal, die hard fans in the upper deck who somehow smuggle in red and gold streamers, and unleash them on the fans below after every big Chiefs score. In the Vermeil years, you had the streamers flying every what, 10, 15 minutes? The last few years, sadly, we haven't really had a deluge of streamers. Save for last year's win over denver, there hasn't been much to celebrate since mid 2007.
(Yup, the Chiefs are 2-16 in their last 18 home games that count, dating back to Green Bay to open the second half of 2007. Yikes.)
Yesterday though, in the 4th quarter, in overtime, they just came flying down. Continuously. It was like the good old days in there. Fans yelling, cheering, smacking the back of the seats in front of them. Exciting comebacks. Shut down defense. Knocking the other team's quarterback out cold. And a simple little flair pass into the flat that turns into a 61 yard scamper that opens the floodgates on my tear ducts.
It was just ... it was beautiful.
* Huge tailgating contingent yesterday. I'd like to say that its because we all had faith the Chiefs would win, but let's be realistic. Not even I thought we could do this, and I'm just about the most delusional (aka optimistic) person I know. Still, when both the bus and the ambulance are pretty well filled up at 6:30, its a good sign.
* Arrived at the gates around 7. Met some folks who wound up parking next to us, who'd just bought a bus and were about to undertake the process of converting it from school bus to tailgate central. You gotta admire that.
* Also met a ton of Steelers fans. I'll give them this: they travel like no team I've ever seen. Not even Green Bay or Dallas fans filled that stadium like Pittsburgh fan did yesterday. I've never seen the lower bowl so filled with visiting fans. They were everywhere. Towels included.
* To say yesterday's tailgating main course was the best we've ever had ... well, might be stretching it a bit. Nancy's steak kabobs are always a special pleasure, and Monty makes a mean kabob as well. Ditto russ' Raider ribs. But the Philly cheesesteaks yesterday, holy Lord. I stopped at two. I easily could have had five. At least two people proclaimed it the "best tailgate food ever". They really were tremendous. In fact, by the time we finished eating some after the game, there was literally nothing left. I don't remember the last time we didn't have leftovers to take home for Monday's lunch. Nearly 25 pounds of cheesesteak, all gone. And worth every bite.
* To the shock of everyone, we had an early Dusty and Kellie arrival. However, to the shock of noone, I posted one of my worst efforts at washers of the season, extending to the losing streak to the ex-roommate to 2,516,872 (approximate).
* Panic moment of the day: its 11:10ish. We're packing up ... and suddenly realize, I don't have my ticket. Nancy was supposed to leave it on Saturday night, only nobody bothered to remember to grab it. We manage to get ahold of Gusser, who heads down, finds the ticket, and volunteers to drive it out. I start walking from our tailgating spot to Stadium Drive to meet him. Its about a 5 minute walk, no biggie. Gusser, if he'd been driving the speed limit, observing all traffic laws, should have taken 12-15 minutes to make the drive. He literally got to the fence at the same time I did. THAT is a MVP performance in driving! I was in my seat before the anthem. Unreal.
* I don't know who this Trailer Choir band is that performed the anthem ... but if your vision of a band named "Trailer Choir" is a hot blond chick with two fat, no-talent dudes in overalls next to her, you'd be correct. All that was missing was a banjo and some nitwit kid eating grass to complete the "Deliverance" image.
* Loved the Scott Pioli / Mitch Holtgus "Happy Thanksgiving" ad. Also loved the "Mayne Street" ripoff that led into KC Wolf's sketch. Mitch Holtgus is a highly underrated comedian.
* Funniest sign: across the field from me. "KC Wolf Is Really Chuck E. Cheese". The stuff that makes me laugh. I mean, who thinks of random stuff like that? Plus, anytime you get a Chuck E. Cheese reference, you always think back to "Grumpier Old Men":
(max) why would people drive all the way out here for fine Italian dining, when we've got a Chuck E. Cheese in town?
(maria) I don't know this Cheese person ...
That scene always cracks me up.
* Chiefs win the toss and choose to receive. Solid opening kick for Josh Reed, as Jamaal Charles fields it at our 3. And then took it to the house. I have no idea how Jamaal Charles squeezed through the last line of Steelers defenders. But as soon as he did, and he hit the 40, 45 yard line, he was gone. He hit the after-burners, and was just gone. To say Arrowhead was loud after that, is an understatement.
* Sadly, however, all the positive energy, good will, and optimism that return initially inspired, was whizzed away by yet another baffling, clueless, completely inept offensive performance in the first half. The Chiefs managed three offensive first downs. 42 yards of net offense. 42! And considering we only had one penalty called on us in the half, that means we racked up 47 total yards! That's horrendous!
As the great Jim Mora once noted, "our fans were vomiting in the stands at that performance". That about sums up the first half for the Chiefs offense yesterday.
The worst of it, though, was saved for the Chiefs final possession of the first half. Trailing 17-7, reeling after two straight solid Steeler drives ended in touchdown passes to Heath Miller, the defense managed to force a punt, and the Chiefs took over at their own 30, with 1:10 to go and all three timeouts remaining.
70 seconds. All three timeouts. You only need a couple first downs to at least try a field goal that could pull you within seven at the half. With Succup's leg strength and the fact that there was no wind in there yesterday, you'd need to get to the 43 to try it from 60. We're talking 25 yards. In 70 seconds. With all three timeouts. Extremely doable.
On first down the Chiefs call a screen to Charles (which I was fine with), and it gained a first down. Tick. Tick. Tick. No urgency, no hurry up, and worst of all, no timeout called! What in the f*cking hell was Coach Haley thinking? The next play was a catastrophe, as Cassel was sacked. Still, no sense of urgency, no hurry up. And the Chiefs walked to the locker room with all three timeouts in their pocket, after basically refusing to try to score at the end of the half.
In section 132, this irate, angry as all effing hell 32 year old fired off his frustrations via text, asking "can we pull a jerry jones and fire his ass at halftime", along with a few other anti-Coach rants. To say I was angry, is an understatement. I spent a solid 5 minutes just standing, arms folded, staring at the Chiefs players entrance, trying to ... well, I don't know what I was trying to do. Look angry and mean I guess. But I was furious.
* Funniest text of the day: from Katie right before halftime. "stay away from the little girls". The Junior Chiefs cheerleaders were the halftime show. Great, my ex (jokingly ... I think ...) warning me to avoid pedophilia. Can this day get any better?
(Yup).
* At this point, I had no doubt how the second half would unfold. Pittsburgh would come out, score on the opening possession, then a horribly called or executed play would lead to a turnover, Steelers punch it in to go up 24, and Coach Haley implodes on the sidelines like a spoiled little brat, blaming everyone other than the f*cking idiot calling the plays for the lack of execution. Come on. I know at least half of you reading this are nodding your heads, going "yup, that's exactly what I was thinkin' too, boss".
Only ... well, if I'm going to rip him when he's an idiot, I have to praise him when he does something right.
I have no idea what Todd Haley said at halftime. I have no idea what he did to change this game around. But that team that came out for the second half, was a different team than the one that took the field 90 minutes earlier. You could kind of sense it. The first half, even after Charles' return, the attitude seemed to be "just keep it close, don't embarrass yourself, act like professionals today". The second half, its like Haley decided "f*ck it, we're not here to look good, we're here to win. Let's win this damned game".
* First Steelers drive of the half, the pass goes off Heath Miller's hands, and into Andy Studebaker's. Who falls down at the Chiefs 38 to give us some hope. And here's where you first really noticed the Chiefs weren't gonna go away quietly. (Well, other than that whole "whoa, they got a swagger now!" realization as they came out of the locker room at halftime).
The entire first half yesterday, hell pretty much of the entire season, not just yesterday, Todd Haley has pretty much refused to open the passing game up. For whatever reason, he's decided the dink-n-dunk, play it safe routine is what is best for this team, that playing conservative football gives us the best chance to win.
He's dead wrong, of course, as yesterday proved. But, to his credit: Haley finally got it yesterday.
After a sweet midfield pass to Chambers to pick up a key first down, Cassel dropped back and let it fly to Mark Bradley. First down Chiefs at about the Steelers 20. And then, on 3rd and 9 at the Steelers 21, knowing you at least need the three (to get back within a possession) but really, knowing he needed the six, Haley called one of the most beautiful fullback jailbreak passes I've ever seen. Leonard Pope, faking the block, then sprinting wide, wide open to the end zone, as the triple WRs on the left side of the formation had pulled both safeties to that side. It was Pope vs ... uuh, well, he was pretty much uncovered. NOBODY expected Leonard Pope to engage his man, then take off for the end zone. Cassel threw a perfect pass, and all of a sudden, its 17-14, Arrowhead is getting louder, and even I started to think "maybe ... just maybe ..."
* My text message after the Pope TD (seriously, watch the replay. This thing is just beautiful. OUTSTANDING! play call by Coach Haley on that one, just outstanding!) was simple. "were getting the taint here". The Steelers kept driving. Kept driving. And then, paydirt, as Roethlisberger was fooled by the coverage, and dropping into coverage Andy Studebaker made his second pick of the quarter, this one three yards deep in the end zone. And off he went. The 50! The 40! The 30! The 20! Sweet f*cking Jesus can he do it!
(No).
Sadly, tackled at the eight yard line. But three plays later, the Chiefs (correctly) opted to kick the tying field goal on 4th and goal, and just like that, the game was tied for the first time all day. We'd gone toe to toe with the defending Super Bowl champions for 45 minutes, and had battled them to a draw. Bring on the 4th quarter!
* The Steelers open with a sweet pass to Hines Ward to put them in business at the Chiefs 46. And that's as close as they got. Three incompletions later, out came the punting unit. For the first time, you could see those asshole Steeler fans nervously clutching their towels. Also, not coincidentally, for the first time, I started waving the red towel I had with me. You're damned right I went there. Wasn't quite as fun as Gregg waving his red hat to mock those smug assholes, but it was still sweet.
* And then, just like that, momentum crushed. Matt Cassel takes a (chuck barkley voice) TURRIBLE sack on 2nd down, loses the ball, and the Steelers have it at our 27. Five plays later, touchdown. 24-17 Steelers. To make matters worse, on the ensuing kickoff, as I'm screaming "take a f*cking knee!" at Charles, he decides to run it out of the end zone. Thanks to a block in the back, the Chiefs are now starting at their own 9. First down, nothing. Second down, nothing. Its 3rd and 9, clock ticking down near the 6 minute mark. Cassel comes to the line ... and calls timeout. The boos start raining down. Same old Chiefs, I'm sure many were thinking. (Myself included).
Only, I watched the Cassel / Haley interaction during that timeout. Last week in Oakland, Haley was berating Cassel for doing the same thing. This week, it was a calm, rational discussion on what the play should be. You could make a legitimate argument that this was the ballgame. Convert or else. There was no yelling, no screaming, no blaming anyone, it was ... it was professionalism. Which is what I'd begged and pleaded to see all week. And here, at the biggest moment of the game, the two key players (QB and coordinator) are as calm as can be. I turned to Monty and Chris and said "we're converting this, and we're tying this game". The smug Steeler fans behind me just started laughing. "You haven't converted this all day! You aren't starting now!"
The play, BAM!, a perfect strike to Lance Long streaking down the middle. Gain of 30 to the Steelers 40. Arrowhead starting to get louder, starting to feel it. Arguably the biggest conversion of the season so far.
And here's where I think the "new" Todd Haley, or at least the one I want running my team, took control of this game. The Todd Haley of the previous 9 weeks, calls a run to Charles there, to calm things down. The Todd Haley of yesterday orders up a bomb to Chris Chambers. 48 yard completion. Chambers just blew by the Steelers defenders. He was WIDE open. Sadly, the pass was underthrown, so the defender caught up and made the tackle. But I loved the concept there. You've just converted a huge 3rd and long. Rather than take a moment to gain your bearings, you drop another bomb on them. Loved it.
Then on first down, the fake up the middle to Charles, when everyone in the stadium KNEW it was going to be a run ... and instead, its a wide receiver reverse to Bobby Wade that gains 8. Awesome. You could feel it, the rising optimism, the rising crowd noise. The nervous as all hell Steelers fans.
Two plays later, a shovel pass to Charles for the tying score. Haley admitted after the game that he'd been waiting all game to use that call. I'd say he picked the perfect time.
* Its at this point I get an "urgent" text from Brent. "you have no qb still time to put in mcnabb". I forgot we swung a deal this week that traded my starting QB to the Salty Bananas, and I didn't log into my team on Sunday morning because I was running late and forgot about it. Thankfully, McNabb was inserted into the starting lineup, and team tito should move on to 7-3-1 after tonight.
* Still plenty of time left for Pittsburgh though. Amazingly, the defense forced a three and out. "Is this for real? Are you kidding me?" All common phrases heard at this point. The Chiefs are getting the ball back with a shot to win! Short lived though. Chiefs also go 3 and out, and punt back after the two minute warning. Roethlisberger opens the drive at his own 20, 1:47 and two timeouts to go, only needing a field goal. First down, one of the craziest sacks I've ever seen, Derrick Johnson literally riding the back of a hunched over offensive lineman, reaching out, grabbing Roethlisberger's jersey, and somehow, through sheer determination, dragging him to the ground. Arrowhead is going crazy! But, since it is the Chiefs ... illegal contact. Why in the hell Wallace Gilberry was on the field, let alone in pass coverage, is beyond me. (To be fair, prior to yesterday, I did not know we had a player named Wallace Gilberry on the roster). But that negated the sack. Roethlisberger does what he does best: drives the Steelers. They get to the Chiefs 43, facing a 3rd and 5, a little over a minute to go. Time to stand guys. The crowd noise at this point was just unreal. At this point, I had the same thoughts flashing through my head that I did for the KU / MU game last year. "Yeah, I want my team to win, but holy crap, this game has been way too good to end with something shady". The only thing I didn't want was some amped up Chiefs defender committing a pass interference call.
* So Roethlisberger drops back, and the blitz just engulfs him. Down goes Ben! I believe there were :57 remaining when he went down. The Chiefs had one timeout left.
And never used it.
(steve getting really angry) Todd, you did a tremendous job of coaching yesterday. Really, you did. (Well, once someone knocked you with a 2x4 in the head at halftime and convinced you to open things up). But your clock management skills are worse than piss poor. Herm's were piss poor. Yours are 1,000 times worse.
You completely f*cked up the closing drives of BOTH halves yesterday. Completely FUBAR'd them. I'm not saying the Chiefs would have driven to try the game winning field goal had we called that timeout with :57 to go. But we'd have gotten the ball back with about :50 left, at our own 20. 40 yards in 49 seconds. The way the passing game was flowing in that fourth quarter, you mean to tell me we couldn't have at least made it interesting?
* Steelers win the coin flip. I did the research this morning, Chiefs overtime games in the 2000s prior to yesterday. Here's the list:
1/2/00: Raiders 41, at Chiefs 38.
9/10/00: at Titans 17, Chiefs 14.
9/9/01: Raiders 27, at Chiefs 24.
12/16/01: at Chiefs 26, broncos 23.
9/22/02: at Patriots 41, Chiefs 38.
10/20/02: broncos 37, at Chiefs 34.
10/12/03: Chiefs 40, at Packers 34.
9/17/06: at broncos 9, Chiefs 6.
12/3/06: at Browns 31, Chiefs 28.
12/30/07: at Jets 13, Chiefs 10.
11/2/08: Bucs 30, at Chiefs 27.
11/11/09: Cowboys 26, at Chiefs 20.
Call me crazy, but when you're 2-9 in the decade in overtime, why wouldn't you stop that clock and try to win it in regulation? Dumb, dumb move by Todd Haley. Thankfully, he got away with it.
* Steelers open with a couple nice runs, a short pass to Hines Ward, and have a 2nd and 3 at their own 40. Ben scrambles, and is taken down. Hard. Replays show he pretty much got kneed in the head. I turn to the Steelers fan behind me and ask "who's the backup QB", because I truly have no clue. Turns out ... its Charlie Batch! I think at this point, all of Arrowhead was breathing a sigh of relief. Considering the Steelers were flagged for a blatant hold on the play, they've now got 2nd and 13 at their own 30, and Chuck Batch is under center.
* Three plays later, the Steelers have 3rd and 2 at the Chiefs 35. Seems Chuck Batch had no problems moving the ball against our defense. Shocking, I know. I get why the Steelers called a run in this spot. What I don't get is why they called the running play they did (a pitch to Moore). If anything, you just pound it up the middle there. You need two yards for the first down. No matter what though, you CANNOT lose yardage because you're right on the edge of trying the field goal. Its a 53 yarder at that point. If you lose yardage, you'll have to punt. That's why a pitch made no sense. Belcher just swallowed it up, Steelers lose 4, and in comes the punter.
* Having said that, why didn't the Steelers go ahead and try the field goal anyways? It would have been a 57 yard attempt, but there was no wind in that stadium, you've got a rock solid kicker with a good leg in Jeff Reed, and the ensuing punt only netted you 18 yards anyways. Plus there's that pesky little detail known as "if the kick was good, we win the game". I'd have at least lined up in the field goal formation, if only to pooch punt it. That seems to me to be a better play that letting the punter boom it into the end zone.
* Chiefs take over at their own 20. Jamaal Charles goes offtackle on first down ... and keeps going ... and keeps going ... he turned what should have been a 1, 2 yard gain into a gain of 11 and a first down. And then came the understated, undervalued, however you want to phrase it, THE key play of the game.
On 2nd and 5 (I think, it was 5 or 6 yards to go after the short pass to Pope on first down), Cassel drops back to pass and airs it out for Chambers deep. The Steelers defender is there just waiting for it. Its a layup interception. Only Chris Chambers never gave up on it, and somehow managed to knock the pass out of the defenders hands and onto the ground. I have no idea how that pass was incomplete. No idea. But Chambers made the play. Which set up ...
* 3rd and 5 at the Chiefs 36. Cassel calls a short, simple crossing route for Chambers, designed to get the first down, which he does. Only, he keeps going. And keeps going. And doesn't stop until he's at the Steelers 4! (dan dierdorf voice) Just a simple little flare ... Arrowhead was rocking now. Out comes Ryan Succup and Dusty C for the field goal attempt. I hit my knees in the traditional section 132 manner. The snap, the hold, the kick, its good! Chiefs win!
* The first thing I did, after the congratulatory hugs, high fives, and "wohoo!"s, was grab that red towel thingy, and just start waving it and chanting "Here we go Steelers, Here we go!" You're damned right I went there. I was a model of civility for 3 1/2 hours around thousands of annoying as f*ck Steelers fans. If you're gonna give it guys, be ready to take it.
(Although to be fair, I did simply congratulate the Steelers fan in front of me for a good game. He and his wife were perfectly acceptable football fans. It was the four loudmouthed drunks behind us that p*ssed me off. Especially the large blonde chick who kept screeching at every play, good or bad. Yes, screeching. I made sure I waved the towel in her face).
* The next thing, a congratulatory moment with the old roommate and his family. It was a relief to see that I wasn't the only one who had, uuh, some redness in their eyes.
* The walk up the ramp after a win is one of my favorite moments of the Arrowhead Experience. The jubilation, the chanting, the Tomahawk Chop, just beautiful. Oh, and with another accessory too. God love him, there was one person there yesterday who believed we'd win. Monty brought in the victory cigars. Rarely has a cigarillo tasted as good as that one did on the walk back to the buses.
* I finally get back up to the buses, and I'm pretty much one of the last ones to arrive. The celebratory high five with Dusty. Me noting that "the last time we won a home game, we hadn't even met each other yet" to Kellie and Katie. The hug with Mona. Then Sheila broke out the bubbly. Dusty lobbied for Monty to break out the stereo. Yeah, we weren't going anywhere for a while.
* After about an hour of postgame tailgating, it was off to Russ and Mona's for more, uuh, postgame tailgating. Seeing the donkeys get killed at home never gets old, even if I do want them to win this division if we can't (and I'm guessing at 3-7, 4 games behind San Diego with 6 to go, that we can't).
* Finally got home about 7pm last night. Sadly, there were no crazy post-game antics to report this week. No nudity in the hot tub, no falling down drunk on the stairs, just good times over some good booze and some tremendous Philly cheesesteaks. Anyways, after getting home, I poured myself a celebratory vodka and apple juice (highly underrated mixer, and believe me, I've tried mixing vodka with just about everything known to man) and crawled into bed to watch "The Amazing Race" and some football. And within 10 minutes, I fell asleep. I was just spent. (That, or intoxicated. Possibly both). Slept straight through until 7:32 this morning, which is what I set the alarm for last night. (Yeah, I'm leaning "intoxicated" at this point, definitely).
Still, what a great capper to a great weekend. I still need to recap the initial BuKCs party of 2009-2010, that was tremendous fun on Friday night. But this recap comes first. Because it was a
* Victory Sunday! I could definitely get used to a few more of these ...
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