Tuesday, October 7, 2008

mccain! obama (boo! get off the effing field!) live blog ...

I debated all day whether to do this.

Then, reading the news today, reading what Governor Palin has been saying, what (finally!) the freaking nominee himself is saying, its obvious something happened over the weekend.

I'm guessing Hillary loaned her good friend her pair ... because he's apparently finally in it, to win it.

My wish tonight ... is that McCain hits him early, often, repeatedly. Only one candidate in this race launched his political career in the living room of someone who tried to blow up the Pentagon. He's bin Ladin without the turban.

Hit him Johnny.

I'll be back closer to 8 to really get going. As someone who still has the D on the voter card, the election is rough, but as Ronald Reagan once noted, "my party left me, I didn't leave it".

NBC's Tom Brokaw is your moderator tonight. Here's hoping Johnny lays into Barry tonight. If only to see NBC yank the plug on a debate the face of their network is moderating ...

I'm already logged into Windows Live Messenger as teamtito15@yahoo.com. Hope you'll join in for what some think is McCain's last gasp ... and what I think will permanently turn this election in the direction it needs to head ...

Back by 8 ... probably 4 vodka tonics in ...

7:40pm: and I'm back. Tonight's drinking game: take a swig every time the ridiculous bailout is mentioned. Double fist it every time Obama denies he cut and run like a scared bitch when the going got tough two weeks ago ...

New poll is up. I'm still trying to figure out what idiot voted "steve scores!" last week. Please. We all know Biden's gonna heal a quadrapalegic before I have a chick in my bed.

I'm still undecided on this week's poll. I freaking LOVED this week's episode, it was beyond classic. But the restaurant episode from last year ... and I didn't even mention two other classics from last year, when Peter has the stroke after losing his mustache in the McBurgertown fire, and when Brian finally makes his move on Lois. Jesus, there's just way too many good episodes to choose from.

(Having said that ... have you heard? Well the bird, bird, bird! The bird is the word!)

I'll be on ABC for this, because they're the last even semi objective network left covering this thing. (That, and to date, Stephanopoulus is still the only debate moderator, at any point in time, to point out that Barry has some "shady connections" in his past).

(peter griffin) look at these men! such grace! such class! Lois, that settles it, I'm growing a mustache!
(brian griffin) gay!
(peter griffin) that is NOT gay! If having a mustache is gay, then Freddie Mercury was gay!
(brian griffin) (spitting out his martini) Freddy Mercury?!?! From Queen?!?! He was incredibly gay!
(peter griffin) no he wasn't Brian! He had a mustache!

This show never, ever, ever gets old ...

FOX News reporting Barry is "adapting" his economic gameplan after this debate. Uuh Barry? We just added 11% to the national debt last week to attempt to stave off an economic collapse. Call me crazy ... but I think your tax hike, your universal health care, uuh ... (rodney hampton wave ...) buh bye ...

I'm slowly yet surely heading down to ABC. I'll stop off at OMSNBC shortly.

Brokaw takes the stage on CSPAN. The last bastion of sanity at ONBC News.

(RIP Mr. Russert).

Oh Christ, we're on "Countdown".

Olbermann and Matthews are tonight's "number one". I might have to gut this one out. They pretty much hate each other ...

(Allow me to take a moment here for a moment of personal pleaing. If that's a word. Mark Cuban. I love you man. Your team was so much fun to watch the last few years. I pray you get to buy the Cubs and bring some fun to MLB ownership. And you play in what is BEYOND question the single best arena in America. But Mark, buddy, please. Give us Dan Rather LIVE! on HDNet on Election Night. I don't ask much in life. Cold tonic water. Semi-potent vodka. And Dan Rather. Live. On Election Night. Please, Mr. Cuban, please. Give us Dan Unplugged ...)

T Boone Pickens running an ad on OMSNBC. He's a moron. The only way to IMMEDIATELY reduce foreign oil dependency is to f*cking drill now!

Here we go. Olbermann. Matthews. 5:51 to kickoff in Nashville ...

Wow this townhall stage looks exactly like Bush / Gore's did.

Matthews looks furious to be on Olbermann's show.

Olbermann just called McCain a "coward" for "not looking Obama in the eye". (steve bashing head on desk over utter insanity of the far left ...)

Matthews questioning if McCain will emphasize Obama's middle name tonight. (steve continuing to bash head on desk over utter insanity of the far left ...)

Matthews just said McCain wants to make Obama look like a "sleeper cell", a "part of the enemy camp". I'd keep bashing my head, but vodka works better.

Let McCain go on the attack! Barry! Is! A! F*CKING! Disaster! He! Is! UNFIT! For! Command! (And did I mention he launched his political career in the living room of a mother f*cking terrorist who is PROUD he tried to blow up the Pentagon)?

I have no idea what Matthews is saying, but he used the phrase "ginned up". Hey, anytime booze is involved?

Olbermann: "There is one rule here we have to abide by (not wishing death for a President) ..." Uuh, Keith? Buddy? (joe biden voice) You might want to read the transcripts of your show there pal! (rimshot!) Thank you very, very much.

To ABC I quickly flee ...

1,987 days since "Mission Accomplished". And yet Speaker Pelosi refused to move on Impeachment. (steve resuming head bashing on desk ...)

"Stand Up Chuck" Gibson in Bowling Green. Diane in NYC. Stephy in the debate site.

Really, why doesn't ABC have its own news network? Its the one legitimate, credible, not completely insane for one side or the other network left!

Brokaw looks blitzed.

Anyone else remember the "Dana Carvey plays Tom Brokaw pre-taping Gerald Ford's death" classic SNL sketch?

Unlike their first debate, they have the color of tie right. Barry in blue, Johnny in red.

Brokaw does NOT sound good. He sounds worse than me right now. I feel for you buddy. Allergies f*cking suck.

5 uum's in Barry's first sentence. Jesus Christ, just go away already.

Wow, we're one sentence in and I'm already dropping the Jesus blast. That ain't good. (steve reaching for more vodka to keep this going ...)

Uuh, Barry? YOU EMPLOY THE LAST TWO HEADS OF FREDDIE MAC AND FANNIE MAY ON YOUR F*CKING ECONOMIC TEAM! How about you FIRE THEM FIRST! You mother f*cking tool!

(wow, I am in rare, rare form tonight ...)

I freely admit I'm biased ... but McCain is KILLING on this first question.

Wait. McCain is supporting the legislation my party tried to pass in the first bailout bill?!?! I'm confused ...

Not a single "uum" in his response. Take that Steve Bono! (I mean, Barack Obama ...)

Buffett, Meg Whitman, both decent options. I'd argue we need to haul Bob Rubin out of retirement to head Treasury.

Obama just dodged the follow up. He refuses to say who he'd consider! (Probably because two guys he'd consider ... bankrupted Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae ...)

You can't CUT taxes on 95% of Americans because 53% of Americans pay 95% of the taxes Barry! The IRS numbers don't lie!

Brokaw wearing the Livestrong bracelet.

Wow, this guy, Oliver Hall? (arby's commercial voice) I'm thinking "Dusty" ...

FINALLY! McCain takes the mother f*cking gloves off! Obama employs BOTH former heads of Fannie and Freddie on his staff!

Now NAME NAMES!

Jesus Christ, I am melting down right now! FINALLY! Someone on the side I want to win is TELLING THE F*CKING TRUTH!

(steve going for vodka tonic number 5 ...)

At least McCain has INTRODUCED a piece of legislation, Barry. A step ahead of your sad ass.

I literally just broke the stand the keyboard is on from hitting it so hard at Barry's retarded response. It'll be a moment to, uuh, recover.

A Section F question for Barry. Fitting.

But she's rockin' the pearls. Awesome.

Horrible question ... and Barry's no doubt thinking "how the hell did Brokaw pick this chick?!?!"

You want to know why the national debt has doubled Barry? I'll give you two f*cking number.

9.

11.

You have to fight to survive.

I literally am ready to hurl things at the TV listening to Barry. (steve submitting resume to FOX News and "The Sean Hannity Show" ...)

Dusty has left the main room and retreated to his bedroom. I think I'm scaring him ... although in his defense, I'm scaring myself ...

I LOVE how McCain is looking the questioner in the eye and speaking right to them. Highly effective.

Although "my friends" isn't nearly as funny as calling everyone "pal". Oh. God Love ya! What am I talking about?!?!

Jesus, Gregg and I are totally on the same wave length. I posted the "9/11" excuse as he replied in the chat the same thing ... and now we're both channeling the great Joe Biden. Thanks, pal.

I LOVE how McCain is emphasizing that he reaches across the aisle. Because Barry never has.

Whoa, gas is still 3.80 in Nashville?!?! I paid $2.89 this morning in south KC ...

Sorry, Dusty just screamed "2.87! 2.87!" Nice to see I pay attention to what the hell hits my card ...

Gregg: "any candidate who asks what the word is, will get my vote". I literally started crying from laughing at that. BIRD BIRD BIRD, THE BIRD IS THE WORD!!!

Bush talking about Wall Street getting "drunk". Please, stop me before I start ...

"like nailing Jello to the wall" MONEY SHOT!

Barry looks clueless. He looks ... he looks like "Sur" William Callahan a year ago in Lawrence ...

Brokaw just SHOT Barry down. Awesome.

I gotta be honest, I'm too p*ssed off to keep going. Barry is LYING through his teeth.

The government did NOT invent the computer Senator Obama. They invented the, uuh, internet. Via Interpol.

You are so mother f*cking stupid, I literally just threw an empty Vitamin water bottle at the television. I am beyond embarrassed that this man is my party's nominee. He's too goddamned stupid to answer a simple question.

I'm done watching this crap. If you're dumb enough to vote for Obama, you deserve what's coming.

Heath checks in! Not surprisingly, he simply listened to my venting.

I'm not a fan of McCain's health care plan. But its not worse than what we have now.

The moment of the campaign. "Hair transplants". Eff you Joey!

"Hair transplants". As much as I love Joe Biden ... beyond awesome.

Obama praising Delaware's loose regulations. Uuh ... Barry? Might want to remember Joey's from Delaware ...

McCain with a GREAT cheap shot.

How any sane, competent, certified "rational" person can vote for Barry after this ... well, you must be as mentally retarded as the folks I spent the Saturday of Labor Day weekend with.

"We don't have time for on the job training". Awesome.

I apologize, I literally just broke the TV by pounding it over obama's response on Iraq and Darfur.

I've hit my I'm done moment. I'll recap my thoughts later. But suffice it to say ... if you vote for Obama, you're "Petarded" (to channel another classic "Family Guy" ...)

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