And the sun begins to fade.
Still enough time to figure out,
How to chase my blues away.
I've done alright up 'til now;
It's the light of day that shows me how.
And when the night falls?
My loneliness calls.
Oh! I wanna dance with somebody!
I wanna feel the heat with somebody!
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody --
Somebody who loves me!
Oh! I wanna dance with somebody!
I wanna feel the heat with somebody!
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody --
Somebody who loves me! ..."
-- "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston.
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I doubt I'll get a full recap of yesterday's Chiefs / Cardinals game done and/or posted probably ever, but there is one thing I wanted to note that I so dig about Chiefs games this year.
And that is our PA dude picking some random, obscure, long ago hit that everybody in the stands knows, as the sing-along song either late in the third quarter or early in the fourth quarter.
Yesterday's selection was "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston, and yeah, when 74,000 plus are singing along to a song that ... hang on, as I put it to The Crush * yesterday:
"Only in Kansas City do 70,000 plus people lose their f*cking minds to a song older than you!"
And yet, admit it -- it's one of the funnest moments of the game, every week. I mean, it's so damned fun that even Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" joined in the fun during "Sweet Caroline" at the Bengals Sunday Night massacre. And "Sweet Child O' Mine" during the Jags game -- that one really hit home, considering that for years (basically the entire 1990s), that was the song that played during players introductions.
There are many, many, many things to like about the 2018 Chiefs and the season they are authoring. It's the little things though, that'll stick with you ** . PA Dude, take a bow. You're rocking that stadium big time, with the choices that you make.
(Although, as an aside: could you maybe not play "Hell's Bells" for every f*cking third down? Save it for the really big ones, and especially for the fourth downs that decide games. Feel free to use that "YEAH!" riff from "Won't Get Fooled Again", or the pounding from "We Will Rock You" to mix things up a bit. "Hell's Bells" should be saved for the biggest moments. Period. Thanks in advance, your pal, Stevo.)
And now, on to the reason for this post: the 2 Legit 2 Colquitt League Playoff Outlook, with three weeks to play.
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(*: until and unless her husband demands I not refer to her as such, the name sticks.)
(**: the single biggest thing I remember about KU's Elite Eight win over Oregon in 2002 was the Pride of Kansas playing "We're Not Gonna Take It Anymore" at the final timeout before time expired. Still never fails to move my emotions to tears. Seven trumpet notes, never fail to set me off. That's why I love sports so damned much -- anyone can focus on the big. It's the little that makes all the difference.)
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Here is the handy dandy spreadsheet tracker, of where things stand, entering Week Eleven for our fantasy league. Note up front two assumptions are being made:
1. Ross is currently down by 53 plus in his Week Ten contest, with Saquon pending. We're penciling in that effort as a defeat.
2. Chane is currently down 33 plus in his Week Ten contest, with OBJ pending. This is doable *** ... but we're penciling in this effort as a defeat as well.
(***: I trailed by 20 plus entering the Sunday nighter last night with only Zach Ertz remaining. I won by seven in a game that will likely have gigantic tiebreaker ramifications in three weeks. It currently is not only deciding the last team in the field, with three weeks to play ... but kept the Salty Bananas from clinching a playoff berth this week.)
Here then, is your spreadsheet **** :
(source: espn.com/fantasy)
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(****: those of you who know me best, know I never commit to electronics what I don't first commit to paper. Sh*t, I still keep score of every baseball game I attend, no matter where or what it is.
So yes ... I did this by hand, before trusting myself to let a machine do it. I don't make $60k / year for nothing folks:
(Admit it -- you dig that I do things old school. Like, 1960s pre-computers to figure out tiebreaker sh*t style. Image credit: me via my iPhone 8 something.)
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If the season ended today, your playoff teams would be:
1. Salty Bananas (H2H tiebreaker over GO BIG Red).
2. GO BIG RED.
3. JYD's HuskerBugeaters
4. Patrick is Mahomes (H2H tiebreaker over Banana Hammocks)
5. Banana Hammocks
6. team tito (H2H sweep over Orinoco ... whatever the hell Potter's official name is).
But the season doesn't end three weeks early ... well, unless the players walk out on strike or something.
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Here then, are the Week Eleven Scenarios for Each Franchise:
Salty Bananas:
* Salty clinches a playoff berth
* with a win, or
* with a Kitties loss.
* Salty clinches the Fambrough Division
* with a win and a Hammocks loss.
GO BIG RED:
* BIG RED clinches a playoff berth
* with a win, or
* with a Kitties loss.
* BIG RED clinches the Mangino Division
* with a win and a Huskerbugeaters loss, or
* with a tie and a Huskerbugeaters loss.
JYD's HuskerBugeaters:
* HuskerBugeaters clinches a playoff berth
* with a win, or
* with a Kitties loss.
Banana Hammocks:
There are no clinching or elimination scenarios for the Hammocks in Week Eleven.
Patrick is Mahomes:
There are no clinching or elimination scenarios for the Mahomes in Week Eleven.
team tito:
There are no clinching or elimination scenarios for the titos in Week Eleven.
Orinoco ... Whatever:
There are no clinching or elimination scenarios for the Orinoco in Week Eleven.
Angry Beavers:
There are no clinching or elimination scenarios for the Beavers in Week Eleven.
Focus and Finish:
There are no clinching or elimination scenarios for the Finish in Week Eleven.
Hard Knox:
There are no clinching or elimination scenarios for the Knox in Week Eleven.
Bitch Kitties:
* The Kitties cannot clinch anything in Week Eleven.
* The Kitties are eliminated from postseason consideration
* with a loss.
Jasson's Occiffers:
The Occiffers have been eliminated from postseason consideration.
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And with fantasy considerations out of the way, for those of you who waded through this, six other thoughts from yesterday's Chiefs 26-14 victory over your Arizona "Super" Cardinals ...
1. I've been Twitter friends with a couple dudes from Arizona for a few years now. Have never met either face to face, until Sunday. He's a STM for the Cards, but has ties to KC, and, well, here we are, moments after we finally met:
(image credit: his buddy (I think) Alex, via Rob's phone. It was Alex, or his name was Matt. Sh*t, don't judge me people -- I called Jeff and Paula "Tony and Lisa" for four years and had no clue I was wrong.)
The one cool thing I like about Twitter, is the ability to bring together two people who never would have met in this life ... and spend an hour downing Fireball and mimosas, in the center of the country.
I'll be out there in four years dude. Count on it.
Also, we're coming back to this, to close this post.
2. Justin Houston's INT was the biggest play of the game. Bar none. Completely swung the momentum.
3. I noted to open last season that "Fat" Andy Reid had restored the Chiefs beating QBs here in their first appearance. To the tune of 3-10 when that post, uuh, posted.
Since then?
* Carson Wentz lost his first start at Arrowhead, Week Two 2017.
* Kirk Cousins lost his first start at Arrowhead, Week Four 2017.
* Jimmy Garappolo lost his first start at Arrowhead, Week Three 2018.
And now?
* Josh Rosen lost his first start at Arrowhead, Week Ten 2018.
Make that 3-14, for first timers facing "Fat" Andy at Arrowhead.
4. "The Voice of Reason" noted during tailgating that "the way (the Chiefs / JCSCA) have parking set up is the best I've ever seen it.
So go figure, they changed the configuration after the game.
At first we were irked. You couldn't turn right out of Gate Six onto Stadium Drive, only left.
And folks? Somehow, someway, the team and sports commission that f*cked up parking so bad panels were commissioned on how to study to make it less awful?
The Chiefs and the JCSCA NAILED the exits out of Gate Six and Seven, the best they ever have, in my lifetime. And I've been exiting that stadium since I was at least eight years old with myself or someone else, behind the wheel.
We left our spot on the grass a little before 4pm. It took a minute to funnel over the 435 bridge ... but I knew the back way. I had Russ take the back way that "The Voice of Reason" and I know about (and probably a few of you as well) to bypass everything on Stadium Drive and Manchester to get north ... and we were back at the Bus Barn, taking the long Blue Ridge Drive route, at 4:23pm.
It should have taken until pushing 5pm, at least, if the old configuration out of Gates Six and Seven was in place.
Kudos Chiefs and JCSCA. I guess winning is something we'll never get tired of in this country.
5. My favorite moment of tailgating, was the "next generation" just missing each other.
"The Voice of Reason" and his son got to The Bus a little before 9:30 if I remember right. (And for once I should -- I was stone cold sober. For the second home game in a row. Go figure -- they're the only two we've had to worry about. The lesson? Look out December 9th; Stevo is getting lit like a Christmas tree!)
My brother and my nephew the A-Man got there literally right after Mr. Reason and Lil' G left.
I thought it was awesome that the two kids who will take over (hopefully) tailgating in OUR spot in fifteen, twenty years, know exactly what they'll be responsible for ... and seem up to the challenge.
6. "Take your gay ass to a coffee bar!"
This was shouted to my face, early in the 4th quarter Sunday, as I defended Eric Fisher's (lack of) performance to the drunken idiot behind me.
To be fair, his wife / girlfriend / friend with benefits, immediately leaned in, pulled my turtleneck (note: I'm a child of the 90s; deal with it), and apologized profusely.
And to be fair, we're reasonable friends with the couple that own those four seats behind us. The dude with the other three of them that day was eight sheets to the wind, and as I noted to "The Voice of Reason" all those years ago when I got decked in the face in Cincinnati: "I'm not going to make a f*ck up of someone's life because he had too much to drink at a tailgate, unless I have to."
The Stevo of 2003, didn't press charges against that dude in Cincinnati.
And the Stevo of 2018, simply turned around and never looked behind him, for the rest of the game.
But what still infuriates me, is that this d*chead thinks calling people "gay" or "coffee drinkers" is an insult.
Because I'm not gay. As multiple people from my past can confirm.
And I not only don't drink coffee (as anyone who has even the slightest knowledge of me knows) ... I don't drink caffeine, period, unless it's mixed with liquor. And even then, I'll usually opt for Sprite (with vodka) or caffeine free Diet (with Weller).
(I gave up caffeine for Lent in 2002. I've never gone back.)
To tell a straight dude who doesn't drink coffee to take his gay ass to a coffee bar, is the height of hilarity at this point.
I hope he's back at some point this season.
Because I'd love to just hand him a coffee, with a healthy topping of whipped cream and/or some kind of white foam, and simply say "it's on me ... I mean, it is me. Enjoy!"
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Lastly, we had an election last week.
The only thing we need to learn from that election?
Go figure, "Saturday Night Live" gave us:
Spend five minutes watching this.
This? Is what we are SUPPOSED to be.
This is what we WERE, prior to about early February 2016.
And it's what we NEED, to become again, as a nation, and as people.
Because God forbid -- who knew! Who could possibly know! -- that civility, respect, and a decent ability to make fun of one's self, could save the nation, if not all of mankind ...
Oh.
And #neverforget.
#neverforget.
(Pause).
Finally -- a #never worth supporting, no matter what ...
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