Earlier today, I posted my favorite performance from "The Voice" this year.
Now ... my 25ish favorite performances from "The Mother Ship", also known as "American Idol".
The Honorable Mention: “Memory” by Jason Castro (season 8). This won’t be Jason’s last appearance on the countdown. This song has always gotten to me. At least the reflective side of me. Absolutely love this song. And this wasn’t a bad cover of it. Plus, he was so stoned in the mentor segment, that he didn’t realize “Cats” was a musical about, uuh, cats. (dusty voice) Attakid!
25. “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” by James Durbin (season 10). My favorite Carole King song. Totally dig this song. The only reason this isn’t rated about 15-16 slots higher, is because he stopped the acapella version after the first verse. But Sweet Jesus, what a first verse! Incredible.
24. “Foolish Heart” by Corey Clark (season 2). Don’t care that he was disqualified for beating his sister to a bloody pulp, don’t care that he claimed he screwed Pauler in a pathetic attempt to further his 2 seconds of fame. This is a phenomenal cover of this song.
23. “Here You Come Again” by Carly Smithson (season 7). By far and away the best performance on Dolly Parton Night, which was April 1, 2008. Why do I remember the exact date? Easy. DJ and I spent the entire episode replacing the locks and bolts on every door in the house, because we’d forcibly evicted “deadbeat ex-roommate” the previous night. Meanwhile, “The Crush”, then DJ’s girlfriend, was laughing her ass off at us being scared of what “deadbeat ex-roommate” might do, that we changed every lock, bolt, and window dressing in the house. In our defense … well, I don’t have one. I have seen the guy exactly one time since the night we kicked him to the curb homeless and in tears. And good God, is that a story to tell on this site at some point *.
(* that sighting occurred last Thursday. And yes, there is one HELLUVA story behind it.)
22. “Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not” by Scotty McCreery (season 10). The one time all year it seemed like Scotty was having fun on stage. Plus, it’s a sweet song. Sweet meaning awesome. “Are you gonna kiss me or not? Are we gonna do this or what? I think you know I like you a lot, but you’re about to miss your shot. (and then state the obvious) So are you gonna kiss me or not?” And yes, I totally dig that the first verse is from the chick’s point of view. Sweet.
21. “Woman In Love” by Jordin Sparks (season 6). Bee Gees Night was a total catastrophe. This was it’s one redeeming performance. She actually sounded every bit as competent and incredible as Barbra Streisand’s original version. And that is NOT easy to do. Set politics aside … ok I don’t have to, since I agree with her on 91.2 percent of her views, but still, set ‘em aside if you have to – Streisand has one helluva voice.
20. “Hello” by David Cook (season 7). That this only ranks 20th on my favorites list, is an outrage in and of itself. Well that, and it’s a tribute to the remaining 19, that somehow they rate higher. Because this is damned near perfection at its finest.
(Should also probably note: the moment when he hits the chorus for the final time, and he breaks into a huge sh*t eating grin, with the “yeah, I effing NAILED this!” look in his eyes? Freaking awesome. Absolutely freaking awesome. Gets me every freaking time I watch the video. I absolutely love those moments in life when you take a huge chance with little or no shot of success … and hit, in the words of the great Reggie Jackson, “second f*cking base!”)
19. “Cry Baby” by Alison Iraheta (season 8). Phenomenal. Absolutely phenomenal. Barely bested by …
18. “Me and Bobby McGee” by Crystal Bowersox (season 9). Two incredible Janis Joplin covers. Scratch that – two perfect Janis Joplin covers.
(Even better? Crystal’s cover of “Piece of My Heart”. Chill inducingly sweet. Excuse me, suh-weet! Oh, and speaking of Crystal …)
17. “Midnight Train to Georgia” by Crystal Bowersox (season 9). (stevo screaming at the top of his lungs voice) HOW DID SHE NOT WIN SEASON 9?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!
16. “Hemorrhage (In My Hands)” by Daughtry (season 5). Rock at its finest. I’d haul out the all caps “how did this guy not win Idol?!?!” voice … but I wanted Elliott Yamin to win season 5, also known as “the season I refuse to admit ever existed due to the Finale matchup”. Yeah, neither Taylor nor “b*tch whose name will never appear on this site” will be appearing on this countdown. Even if “b*tch”’s cover of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” was pretty damned spectacular.
15. “Hallelujah” by Jason Castro (season 7). This, “Hello” at number 20, and number 13 were performed back to back to back on top 12 night in season 7. Possibly the best 20 minutes of television I’ve ever watched that wasn’t a certain season 6 episode of “NYPD Blue”.
14. “A Song For You” by Elliott Yamin (season 5). Yup, I was a Yaminian. I still am. This guy is probably my second favorite Idol ever, behind only Blake (who has at least 2 performances coming up).
13. “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” by David Hernandez (season 7). If a booger is his nose is the most embarrassing moment of his life, that means he totally was cool with his stripping days. Yes, “Idol”’s most notorious gay stripper ever finishes 13th on this list. Why? Because it’s that damned good of a cover of this song. And I HATE this song. That’s how good this is.
12. “Somewhere Only We Know” by Blake Lewis (season 6). Anyone who says Blake wouldn’t have made the final without the beat boxing and/or theatrics, just listen to this. Awesome with a Capital A.
(OK, another Honorable Mention: Blaker covering “This Love” by Maroon 5. Incredible with a Capital I. And yes, we’re still at least 10 spots away from my favorite Blaker moment. Damned right I was a Blaker, uuh, Guy, in season 6. I’d still pay damned good money to watch him sing. Even if nobody else would.)
11. “Broken Wing” by Jordin Sparks (season 6). Season 6 is still my favorite season of Idol, and with damned good reason. There’s still at least two more performances from that season coming up, and neither of them are by the winner, Ms. Sparks.
10. “Innocent” by David Cook (season 7). It truly is an awful performance … but it’s my favorite song of all time, covered by KC’s finest. Suh-weet!
(Here’s the original version. Do yourself a favor and listen. This is THE song that I listen to on the walk into Arrowhead on Gameday. If you can’t get fired up listening to this song, there’s no hope for you.)
9. “She Believes in Me” by Scotty McCreery (season 10). Damn this song gets to me, and this was a really good cover of it.
8. “The World I Know” by David Cook (season 7). You have no conscience if you don’t get choked up watching this. Jesus, I’m tearing up typing this. I know how much I love my brother. I can’t imagine … I refuse to imagine ever going through what Mr. Cook was experiencing performing this, knowing his bro was days away from dying, and he was there in the audience. Love his reaction at the end. I’d have been crying too.
(Hang on, a couple replays for this one … and yes, it probably should be higher than 8 …)
7. “Heartless” by Kris Allen (season 8). Possibly Idol’s finest moment. Surely the most unexpected. To strip a Kanye song like he did? Took balls of steel. And man, was it awesome. My memory ain’t what it used to be, but “The Ex” watched Idol live that night, and when she was over the next night to rewatch it, she had this “you aren’t gonna believe!” look in her eyes when I asked her what moment I should most look forward to. As usual, she was right.
(And in the interest of full disclosure, I sent an email link to DJ after this, and DJ is anything but an “Idol” fan. His response? “F*cking awesome”. And yes, that was his exact response. “F*cking awesome”. Yes, yes it was.)
6. (tie) “I Who Have Nothing” by Haley Reinhart (season 10) and Jordin Sparks (season 6). You pick the better version, because I sure as hell can’t.
5. “This Ain’t a Love Song” by LaKisha Jones (season 6). In fairness to Ms. Jones, and in the interest of full disclosure, this might actually be the funnest moment I’ve ever had watching this show. Not funniest, but funnest, as in “damn this rocks!” The look in Bon Jovi’s eye as he says “I’m not a gambling man, but if I had to make a bet, she ain’t going home tonight”, made me sit straight up with a “this is gonna be epically awesome or awful” look of anticipation. It was that epically awesome. She earned that kiss from Simon, and then some, on arguably “Idol”’s best night ever (there’s still at least one more from this night to go on the countdown). Godd*mmit, does this song rock or what! “If the love that I’ve felt for you’s gone / If the river I’ve cried ain’t that long / Then I’m wrong, then I’m wrong / And this ain’t a love song!” So freaking sweet. And her finish, “baby!!!!” and the pause, epic. God I love this performance! This one’s getting a few replays.
(Even “The Voice of Reason”, who hated LaKisha as much as me, even he replied via email the next day “that was really good” for crying out loud. When “reason” says, when even Gregg is admitting something is “really good”, I mean, he is “The Voice of Reason”. And yes, her performance IS “really good”. It’s beyond that. Dammit I love this show. Even if she doesn’t actually have a “slim side”. I can forgive that if you’re this damned talented.)
4. “Alone” by Carrie Underwood (season 4). It is without question, without a doubt, THE best performance in “Idol” history. In terms of quality, in terms of “where the f*ck did SHE come from?!?!” value, NOTHING has approached this, and nothing ever will. It’s the gold standard, it’s the “Hearts and Souls” of this show. (“Hearts and Souls” being the best 90 minutes of television ever recorded and broadcast.) But there are three performances I liked more. But man, is this good. I mean Jesus, when she hits the chorus, holy moly, incredible. How do I get you alone? Exactly.
3. “Weekend in New England” by Jennifer Hudson (season 3). How did she get booted for this? She was amazing in this performance. And yes, I like a song by Barry Manilow. Especially this song.
Two to go. Number one is a surprise to no one who knows me. Number two … might shock a few folks … at least until you click on the link and listen to it …
2. “Don’t Cry Out Loud” by Diana DeGarmo (season 3). How she holds the note, and then takes it up an octave, entering the final chorus, I have no idea. Tremendous. Absolutely tremendous. And the note at the end? Suh-weet to the highest degree. Hang on, I gotta replay this one a couple times before moving on to numero uno.
(No, seriously, the last 50 some odd seconds of this performance? Epic. Absolutely epic. Even beyond epic when you realize she was drawing dead at this point – there was no way she was beating Fantasia. And she STILL delivered this! Epic. F*cking epic!!!)
(Plus, the look as she goes for that final note – awesome. Absolutely awesome. She knows she’s knocked it to second f*cking base … and now she’s aiming for the pitchers mound. Hell, she’s aiming for home plate! Even for those of us who only know Melissa Manchester as Joey and Blossom’s mom on, uuh, “Blossom”, holy crap, what a song! And what a performance!)
(And yes, I’m at seven replays and counting …)
Your winner? If it was anyone but Blaker, it'd be Diana DeGarmo, "Don't Cry Out Loud" was that phenomenal. Just ... phenomenal. But your winner? Come on. In the words of my dad, this is a "no brainer". In the words of me, "It's Blaker's Finest Hour!!!" And yes, it scares me too that I love Blake Lewis this friggin much ...
1. “You Give Love a Bad Name” by Blake Lewis (season 6). Idol’s finest moment. And I am definitely in the half of the viewers who totally dug what he did with this song. He sold his interpretation, and then some. God above, what a performance. I mean performance! Damned right "this is the one who is rolling the dice!" Idol's Finest Hour. Amazing.
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