chiefs! donkeys! the (attempted) recap!

“Baby, I thought you and me would stand the test of time.

Thought we got away with the perfect crime.

But we were just a legend in my mind –

I guess that I was blind.

Remember those night dancing at the masquerade?

The clowns wore smiles that wouldn’t fade?

But you and I were the renegades?

Some things … never change.

It makes me so mad, ‘cause I wanted it BAD for us baby!

And now?  It’s so sad.  ‘Cause whatever we had ain’t worth saving,

Oh, oh, oh oh …

If the love that I’ve got for you’s gone?

If the river I’ve cried ain’t that long?

Then I’m wrong.  Yeah, I’m wrong!

And this ain’t a love song.

If the pain that I’m feeling so strong,

Ain’t the reason that I’m holding on?

Then I’m wrong.  Yeah, I’m wrong!

And this AIN’T a love song! …”

-- “This Ain’t a Love Song” by Bon Jovi.  Don’t worry, Chiefs fans – this is STILL a “love song”.  The LOVE I feel for this team ain’t gone.  The river of tears I’ve cried ain’t too long.  And I’m not wrong – this IS a LOVE song!  Even if it doesn’t come across as one.  Because g*ddammit … this IS!  A!  LOVE!  SONG!!! …

-------------------------------------------

With all due respect to Sam Mellinger, who is one helluva good read, a tremendous columnist for the Kansas City Star, and as a life-long area resident, “gets it” … his tremendous read this morning was somewhat cheapened by the fourth sentence of his must-read piece:

“(Romeo Crennel) is not stupid.”

Sam is right – Romeo Crennel isn’t stupid. 

He’s f*cking retarded.

Because mental retardation is the ONLY excuse allowable for yesterday’s latest Coach Baffoon / Inept GM debacle, a 17-9 loss to denver that felt like a 13-10, last second of overtime field goal defeat.  The denver broncos did everything short of literally walking across the field and saying “no, really guys – we WANT you to win this game!” to hand Romeo and his Wrong 53 this game … and go figure, Romeo and his sh*ttacular squad STILL found a way to botch the broncos generosity.  (More below, as always.)

When this contest ended, and yes, I stayed for every painful second, I took a moment to say goodbye to everyone, visit the bathroom, and when I finally got back to the Bus, I walked on board, grabbed a bottle of champagne (don’t ask), and sat down on a cooler inside. 

And for the next fifteen minutes, pounded the door – no, really, I literally started smacking the door with my fist, and I have three band-aids on my fingers and knuckles of my right hand right now to prove it – I spent the next fifteen minutes screaming about Coach Baffoon’s baffling decision to kick a field goal at the four yard line, rather than go for it on 4^th and 1, pushing 2.  Now, I will grant you, my postgame meltdown was wrong – I kept screaming about “4^th and 4 when you’re 1-9, and you kick!”, when it was actually 4^th and 1 – but really?  THAT JUST MAKES THE DECISION EVEN LESS DEFENDABLE!

The angriest I’d ever been after a Chiefs game before, is one of the following four games:

a. the playoff defeat to Indianapolis, 1995

b. the loss to denver in 2002

c. the loss to Baltimore in 2006, or

d. the loss to denver in 2009.

Prior to yesterday, I never imagined I could ever again react as angrily as I did to any of those four defeats.  For starters, I like to think I’ve evolved to the point, that I don’t live and die with every second of the season like I used to.  (Hence the lack of recaps lately, because genuinely, prior to yesterday, I just haven’t cared lately).

And then came the Chiefs opening possession, a drive that saw the Chiefs run the ball – effectively! – eight times for 48 yards, to set up at 3^rd and 3 at the donkeys 16.

Now, again, I don’t claim to be smart.  I certainly wasn’t sober yesterday.  (As always, more to come … and yes, yesterday nearly matched the Falcons game in 2004 for my level of intoxication, another “achievement” I never dreamed I’d ever approach again.)  But this much I do know – when something ain’t broke?  Don’t try to fix it.

Move over, fake punt against denver in 2009 that so outraged my good buddy Dusty, that I legimately feared for his personal safety, that’s how poorly he reacted to what was, prior to yesterday, THE single worst play call in franchise history.

So I suppose it’s fitting that on a day that saw a great tailgate, amazing weather, really (somewhat surprising) great times with great friends, both expected and unexpected, that the Chiefs “brain trust”, on 3^rd and 3 at the denver 16, barely four minutes into the game … calls for a DIRECT SNAP TO PEYTON HILLIS, WHO THEN THROWS INCOMPLETE – and I mean IN-COM-PLETE!!!  (waa waa waa waa!) – a solid six feet short of Brady Quinn, who somehow was the intended receiver on the play.

Let that sink in – our offensive gurus thought having a worthless fullback with no discernable quarterbacking skills, throw a pass to our starting quarterback four f*cking minutes into the game, they thought THAT was a good idea.  They thought THAT was an effective gameplan.

Defend THAT, anyone stupid enough to believe Romeo Crennel is “not stupid”.  DEFEND.  THAT.

And yes, I am fully aware I opened this post, b*tching about kicking the field goal at the four yard line.  The fact that THAT isn’t the worst play from yesterday?  Says all I need to know.

Here then is your recap, as best I recall, the weekend that was. 

* I got to “The Bus Barn” about 2pm on Saturday, because our goal was to load the Bus on Saturday afternoon, before the projected floor fell off the temperatures on Saturday night / Sunday morning.  So Russ drove the Bus down the street, we got it parked, managed to get some gas poured in the generator, and this conversation occurred:

(russ) I’m hungry.  Wanna grab something to eat?

(stevo) Uuh, sure.  Preferably somewhere with something to drink.

So, we were off to Raytown’s* latest, greatest flea bag of a bar: the Dirty Bird, on 67^th and Blue Ridge.  Gusser wound up meeting us for a late lunch as well.  Between the three of us, we had:

* a Beam and Diet Coke.

* three Coors Lights (draws).

* two Budweisers (draws).

* four SoCo’s on the rocks (hey, that’s my contribution!)

* an order of sliders and fries.

* a cheeseburger and fries.

* a plate of wings.

Care to guess our total?  $33 between all the tabs.  And the food is edible to boot!

(*: I’m honestly not sure if it’s located in KCMO itself, or Raytown.  I think the dividing line is 79^th, which puts it in Raytown, but I wouldn’t wager $0.02 on that fact.  I do know this – any place that has $2 SoCo on the rock well’s, and has a happy hour that extends eight freaking hours on a Saturday, is my kind of joint!  Daily Double?  Better step up!  And I am fully aware a round of four bottles of beer and a well drink at the Double is $9 plus tip.)

* From the “smart thinking” department: we went straight back to the Bus Barn after lunch.  I mention that, because last week, we wound up in the Hy-Vee liquor department, and dropped almost $150 on booze, when we’d gone in to buy a 30 pack and a bottle of Bailey’s.

* We got the Bus pretty much loaded up Saturday afternoon.  Smart thinking. 

* Spent Saturday night at the Eagles club on 47^th Street for Dave’s birthday.  Free booze?  Check!  Amazing food?  Check!  Good times?  Check!

Seriously – they had SMOKED prime rib!  I never imagined regular prime rib could be topped … but smoked?  Sweet Jesus.  Thankfully, Dave will be joining us at the Colts game in a few weeks to share his delicacy with the masses.

* Also checking in Saturday night were Bruce and Cathy.  Glad to see the two of them together again, and most importantly, Cathy back upright and ambulatory after her stroke.

Also, there are two fundraisers at their bar (The Daily Double) over the next few weeks, one of which (December 8^th) is for the Salvation Army.  Feel free to show up at “the little lounge that could” to enjoy some good food, cheap booze, and support a beyond worthy cause.

* Also here this weekend was Diane from Wichita.  I gotta admit: remembering everyone for the “annual post” in a few weeks is gonna be tough.  This year has sucked something awful for me personally … but I continue to marvel in amazement at the people I am beyond fortunate to consider “friends”, let alone “family”.

* And speaking of “The Family” … we gotta get the “Dusty cooks a turkey, and Stevo hogs all the dark meat after plowing through a bottle of SoCo” annual tradition lined up.  I may have issues with certain things that have happened this year … but we are family dammit.  (pause.)  Fine, fine – I’ll toss a twenty spot in towards the turkey purchase if I have to.  (pause.)  Really?  Inflation in Barack Obama’s America is THAT bad?!?!  (pause.)  Jesus, a turkey costs THAT MUCH?!?!?!  Who the f*ck voted to re-elect this bastard*? 

(Come on … I’ve been ridiculously considerate of the election’s outcome, especially considering, you know, my side of the argument is now a permanent minority in this country.  And by “my side”, I mean “people who actually work for their check, rather than live on my hard work via subsidies”.  Again – I’ve been way, way, way too considerate, even by my irrational, “overreact to everything!” standards.)

(*: and since he was conceived out of wedlock, the man is, uum, a bastard.  Deal with it.  My God, seriously – how could ANYONE vote for MORE of this?!?!?!  What am I missing here?  Can’t find work?  Check.  Directly attributable to incompetent economic policies that have failed EVERYWHERE they’ve EVER been tried in recorded human history?  Check!!!  Which is something any person who voted for this bastard WON'T be EARNING anytime soon!  Seriously -- how f*cking STUPID have you got to be, to have voted for MORE of this?  And how did this country get comprised of enough f*cking idiots that WANT more of this, to carry the ballot box?!?!?!)

* Well, I was wrong – I said last week that “there’s no way we’ll have fewer people” riding out on Sunday morning than last week, when we were down to the Core Four.  Uuh … we had three yesterday.  Although in Susan’s defense, she was in St. Louis on Saturday watching her nephew win a state championship, and met us out there Sunday morning after making the (right) call to sleep in.

* But sleeping in wasn’t an option for me.  I was wide awake at 4:42am.  I was ready for Donkeys Day.  Too bad the Chiefs weren’t.

* We arrived at the gate to Lane 6, at, uuh, Gate 6, at 6:51am.  As usual, chalk me up in the “premature” category.  Which – seriously, I know I joke about myself more than any credible blogger should ((dusty voice): who called you credible?), but for the love of God, I was born two weeks late!  Why do I always, uuh, arrive, so damned early for sh*t?  (pause).  Oh, no, wait, I mean, I don’t arrive early!  I’m as late as late can be!!!

* And again … if you can’t laugh at yourself, well … then make sure you have “The Champ” around to laugh at.  Because in the words of the great David Naster, “Sometimes?  You Just Have’ta Laugh!”

* Gates opened at 7:52am.  I know this, because I was in the port-a-potty b*tching about how cold the porcelain throne was on my (rear end), when I heard the massive sound of many, many cars headed in my direction.  Let’s just say, coffee and I are not friendly.  Or rather, I’m friendly towards coffee; it ain’t friendly towards me. 

Especially with some Bailey’s mixed in.

* Kudos to our parking nazi Glenn, who finally – FINALLY! – got a clue and “bribed” us for the privilege of parking where we do.  He accepted said coffee and Bailey’s after (finally!  God kid – you’re in your mid 20s!  Learn how the system works already!) asking for it.  What I couldn’t have expected was that

* It was 46 when we left the Bus Barn.  It was 50 when the gates opened.  In the interest of full disclosure, I wear shorts even if it’s 17 and snowing.  (See Jaguars Game, 2006).  To not even get one “what the f*ck?!?!” stare as I showed up in shorts on the last Sunday in November?  Suh-weet!

* Also suh-weet?  Castro and his crew arrived right after us, only minus Castro (which isn’t the sweet part.  I swear, what penal system is that guy locked up in?)  What was suh-weet?  Our good friends known as “the Parking Nazis” that terrorize us on a weekly basis … basically told them “take the horns off, or else.”  HELL YES, it was silent in G30 yesterday!  Well, other than our stereo, and Sal’s taunting “hey, my horn still exists!!!” taunt when Castro’s boys arrived.

* There was actually a debate over where to put my “special little friend” yesterday.  Hell yes, lynched donkey was there!  I love that little guy!  Too bad nobody noticed him hanging off the back of the Bus.  Godd*mned “hey Stevo, donkey fans will be here, you gotta show SOME respect …” that I apparently was conned into believing.

* Roger and his guys arrived next.  Can’t say much else, other than their baggo game looked intense … and oh yeah, this conversation occurred when he wandered over after parking:

(stevo) mornin’!  (extends hand in friendly, warm, welcoming matter)

(roger) mornin!  (does the same)

(stevo) (silence)

(stevo) BOOOOOOOO!!!!!! (to random donkey fan walking by)  BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! (flipping both middle fingers)

(roger) how many of those f*ckers have you booed today?

(stevo) (doing the math)

(stevo) we’re pushing 20.

(roger) (pause)

(roger) Christ, there’s that many of those f*ckers here today?

Yes.  Yes, there were “that many of those f*ckers” there yesterday.  Excuse me for a couple minutes – I need to fix a very, VERY VERY VERY stiff cocktail to continue …

And … we’re back.

(I apologize in advance if my typing descends into DJ-level “grouse”-ness.  I will try to keep this non-Zues in nature.  Jesus, seriously – how the hell do you not know how to spell, in the words of Samuel L. Jackson, the name of the God who will “shove a lightning bolt up your ass!”  Especially when it’s only four letters, and he’s, I don’t know, your f*cking dog!  Sh*t, even I could spell Phog, and NOBODY is going to accuse me of pushing 72 on the MENSA scale anytime soon!)

* Next to arrive was Ray and his crew.  Oh hell yes, fish fry time!  It NEVER gets old. 

* Should note, the first song out of the iPod yesterday?  “Dancing on the Ceiling”.  I should have known we were doomed.

* “The Crush” arrived next.  Should have been awkward.  Probably was.  To be honest, I was so damned hammered by this point, that I couldn’t have recited my birthdate to you.  (Who knew that pounding three bottles of champagne by 9:15am would screw you up?  Well, other than anyone with an IQ above 71?  And yes – given how blitzed I was, the fact that I only had one massive “whoa, Stevo’s HAMMERED!” moment yesterday shocks the hell out of me.)  Forgive me girl.  I probably should have warned you what was coming yesterday … screw it, I’ll save the joke there.  Just know, you’re my “Crush” for a reason.  (megan voice) because I’m hot as hell?  (stevo voice) f*ck yes!  WOW, this is TANKING post-stiff cocktail, and I haven’t even headed into the game yet on this recap …

* DJ, the girl known affectionately (to me at least) as “the chica”, and the “boasheao” clan arrived about 9:30.  Gotta admit Kid – the fries were inspired.  Really good.   Not that I could tell from grabbing every flake of (semi) fresh cod as it emerged from Ray’s frier.

* At some point, my “Voice of Reason” and his dad showed up.  Always good to see them.

* Forgot to mention, and yes, this is THE ultimate “oh Stevo, I feel for ya man” story.  Saturday night, we’re at David’s birthday deal at the Eagles club, and this attractive cougar is hitting on me.  (No, seriously – this happened.  Multiple people can confirm this.)  I had nobody using my extra ticket at that point, so I offer it to her, she reaches her “why not?” moment, and promises to call me when she gets to Arrowhead at 7:30 the next morning.  I even got her digits for God’s sake, and she was a legitimate Italian cougar, named Francesca (allegedly).  Again, ALL OF THIS is confirmable by MULTIPLE sources at said birthday bash at said Eagles club.

Did she show up?  OH HELL NO.  Did she respond to my text asking “so, you flaking, or really coming”?  (rimshot!)  OH HELL NO. 

But – I did get her digitals.  I feel a drunk dial coming at some point.  Although how it could ever top Jennifer’s drunk “I want to use your body as a jungle gym” text from 2006, I have no idea.

NO WONDER that’s the most p*ssed I’ve ever been leaving a Chiefs game …

* The funniest moment from tailgating, at least for me:

(dusty) wanna throw down (washers game)?

(stevo) would love to but … uum …

(dusty) oh yeah, broke last week.  My bad.

(stevo) uuh, for once … it’s not.

Yeah, last week, one of the boxes fell apart when a back wheel of a SUV may have driven over it because said driver of said vehicle couldn’t see it sitting, I don’t know, right in the g*ddamned concrete walkway it was positioned in.

* Once we tore the tailgate down, we headed in.  I moved down to my old stomping grounds (section 132), since half the stadium was empty, and why head up a spiral rampway thingy I’m likely to drop drunk on if I don’t have to.

* I also was, uum, intoxicated:

* OK, let’s do this, because (a) I wasn’t passed out for that long … and (b) I’m still furious over this game.

* Let’s hit the first drive, which (almost) ended with THE MOST OFFENSIVE PLAY – and I don’t mean offensive as in “yeah, we’re on offense!”, I mean offensive as in, uuh, “OFFENSIVE!” – THE MOST OFFENSIVE PLAY IN FRANCHISE HISTORY.

Chiefs have survived a booth review, somehow driven into the red zone, and have a 3^rd and 3 at the denver 16. 

Cue the “direct snap to the dumb f*ck halfback whose fumble cued said booth review, for him to chuck a pass that lands six f*cking feet short of the damned quarterback” pass.

I mean, uum, at the risk of setting a new record for f bombs on this site: WHAT.  THE.  F*CK?

No, really, Romeo – WHAT.  THE.  F*CK?!?!?!?!

Here was me around the time this play occurred:

Either I’m drunk sleeping (a distinct possibility … or reality …) … or that play was SO OUTRAGEOUS, I COULDN’T LOOK AT IT.

(And admit it -- the mistletoe was one helluva good idea!  (cue every single guy agreeing with me) ...)

I’m going with the latter.  And y’all who read this site on a regular basis know, I’m not taking a nap in the photo above.  I’m f*cking FURIOUS, and bent over in frustration.

I mean, what in the name of God was that?  WHAT?  WAS?  THAT?  (As I screamed as the play unfolded.)  WHAT?  WAS?  THAT?!?!?!?!

Who in the hell calls THAT, at the OPPONENTS 16, not even four minutes into a game?  Other than a midget with the IQ of 12?

As outrageous as the ensuing field goal was (hey, a lead!  Didn’t know we were allowed to have that!)?  The preceding playcall was MORE offensive!  I mean really?  A team, in 2012, is STUPID ENOUGH to fall for the halfback pass to the quarterback?  Christ, as a Jets fan?  I can tell you, IT DOESN’T WORK!  Ask our Lord and Risen Saviour, Timothy R. Tebow, how well the Wildcat works in the “current” NFL.

(The answer: it not only DOESN’T work … it gets you two broken ribs when you opt to try it.  As my friend Cooksey, the one Browns fan I know, put it: “wow, way to go Chiefs – you took our offensive coordinator, our quarterback, and our running back … and failed to score.  Stunning!”  Uum, “stunning” to who, girl?  Our inept GM?  Coach Baffoon?  A brain dead patient in the ER?)

* denver’s first drive?  Another replay “wait, our officials are THIS EFFING STUPID?!?!” debacle, as Javier Arenas’ interception was (correctly) overturned.  You know you’re at a special, “special” game, when twice inside the first six minutes, the replay booth has to overcome obvious incompetence on the field … without the incompetent Baffoon* on our sidelines, tossing a challenge flag.

(*: again: I will not degrade legitimate buffoons, by calling Romeo Crennel by the proper spelling.  I trust y’all are cool with that.)

* The Chiefs take over in denver territory, and manage to gain a whopping 33 yards, to kick a 22 yard field goal, to go up 6-0.  And amazingly enough, as I already noted – this was only the SECOND most outrageous play from yesterday.  And this is BEYOND outrageous.

* Quick “flashback / hey, Stevo just remembered this!” moment: my buddy DJ’s friends Mark and Sarah were there at some point at our tailgate yesterday.  I mention this, because hell – just scroll down to the “I wasn’t the most confident person we’d win!” person reference.  God bless it, we sucked eight levels of awful yesterday.

* After a prader miss in my end zone (ok, fine – not “mine”, but after 15 plus years paying to watch these sh*tty efforts, it FEELS like I’ve bought it), the Chiefs take over, up 6-0 … and go figure, Eric Winston is flagged for a false start on first down that dooms the drive.  I’m shocked – shocked! – that a mother f*cking c-word like Eric Winston would false start on arguably the most important drive the Chiefs will undertake all season.  SHOCKED.

Oh.  Wait.  I’m not.

And Mr. Winston?  You can kiss my a** in hell sir.  Kiss.  My.  A**.  In.  Hell!

(Consider me in a shockingly good mood, to not tell you to kiss my front side, sir.)

* donkeys take over after the punt inside their own 20, and peyton throws one up for grabs that Brandon Flowers picks off for the Chiefs.  I’m curious, Mr. Pioli, architect of “The Wrong 53”.  Do you think Stanford Routt would have HELPED yesterday?  Given that he almost literally has half of our turnovers forced this year, do you think for 2/1000ths of a second that he would have HELPED yesterday? 

Then again, “thought” is not a word any person with an IQ above the outdoor temperature in Gering, Nebraska right now, would assign to Scott Pioli’s intelligence.  (Hey, he did that whole shout-out-thingy deal!  Cool!  Love y’all, seriously.  Even if you love the blue and orange more than me.)  J

* After a Chiefs punt, peyton manning leads a beautiful drive down the field, to put denver on top 7-6 at the half, a gorgeous pass that no Chiefs defender was within 2 yards of covering.  And what the hell, you could spot us those two yards, and we STILL wouldn’t have a defender within two yards of covering said pass.  #christwesuck

* donkeys lead 7-6 at the half.  Would be lying if I said I could recount halftime.  Let’s just all thank God above that Jazzercize didn’t occupy the field with 400 pound plus “chicas” chewing the cud, so to speak.  (God, we still have two games to go!  You KNOW they’ll be there for one of them.  Cue the lyrics to this recap – that will NOT be a “love song” (rimshot!)

* donkeys open the second half with a solid drive, but (aw, what a shame!!! or not …) matt prader, the alleged best field goal kicker in the National … Football League, shanks his second attempt (in as many tries).  Yes, I was happy.  And yes, I hit my knees, as per section 132 tradition, as mr. prader attempted his, uuh, attempt.  Hey, ain’t my fault he’s too incompetent to hit a 32 yarder – even I DRILLED my 30 yard attempt at the NFL Experience … (hang on, carrying the one …) Christ!  20 years ago!!!

* Chiefs take over, drive down the field, and kick a field goal on 4^th and 1 at the donkeys 31.  And somehow?  This isn’t even REMOTELY the most offensive decision of the day!  Truly – and I guess I have to haul it out here, since I use the word enough – (lionel richie voice) truly! … we have a head coach DUMB ENOUGH to kick TWICE on 4^th and 1, in the opponents territory, when we’re one and nine? 

And that’s not even remotely close to the most offensive decision he makes?

Well … I chose the “Dumb and Dumber” toilet scene as my initial recap for a reason.

* demariyous thomas?  Congrats sir – you’ve entered the john elway pantheon of “most hated donkeys ever” level with me.  That TD you caught?  Hurt like someone kicked me where it counts.  denver 14-9.  And I’m not sure what hurts worse: that denver led … or I didn’t get to haul out the obligatory “6-9 hee hee!” joke this year.  (pause.)  Definitely the latter.  Because at least I could have laughed at that.

* To the surprise of noone, denver converted a 3^rd and 7 after the two minute warning, to wrap up the game, emerging a 17-9 winner.  I said my goodbyes to the 132 regulars, got a solid hug from Jennifer walking out, and attempted to deal with this debacle as best I could in the bano afterwards.

I failed.

Miserably.

* I managed to somehow stumble up the walkway through Lot G back to the Bus, and man, was I p*ssed.  The door was locked when I got there, so I simply looked at Russ (who was talking to Ray and his crew) and yelled “KEYS!  NOW!”

* I unlocked the door, then tossed the keys back to him.  I then walked inside, opened the cooler, grabbed a bottle of champagne, and for the next fifteen minutes … uum, proceeded to disgrace myself by screaming obsenities at wooden objects, and kicking / hitting said wooden and/or gasoline fueled objects.  I.  Was.  P*SSED.

How do you defend THAT?  You had THREE fourth and short decisions in the enemy’s territory … and kick every time!  (I didn’t even deal with how p*ssed I was over the punt on 4^th and 1.  FIREABLE.  OFFENSE!  Not even my “Voice of Reason” can disagree with me on that.  FIREABLE.  OFFENSE!)

* Eventually, “The Champ”, “The Chica”*, her brother and family had to take off, as did we.  Which is pretty much how the day ended.

(*: I’d call you “My Chica” … but I don’t want to intrude on DJ’s turf.  But yeah.  You’re my chica girl, like it or not.  (“my” chica voice) can I think about this? …)

* So let’s deal with reality.  That game sucked.  It sucked worse than a Shop-Vac cleaning up the biggest automotive dealership ever known to man.  It.  SUCKED.

And yet … it’s reality.  We’re the worst team in football folks.  Nobody’s got a worse points differential (minus 140, two “worse” than oakland).  No other team has failed to win at home (Jacksonville is the only other team with fewer than two wins at home … and yes, they got their first one yesterday.)  Even I have lost the ability to defend this, and in case you doubt me – I picked us to win the division, and host the AFC Title Game.  (The lesson?  I’m a mother f*cking … moron.  Sorry – I prefer “moron” to “idiot”.  It sounds less harsh.)

And yet?

Call yesterday for what it was -- one helluva fun day with friends, “family”, and amazing people.  Hell – and I ask this with all seriousness – did anyone who reads this site on a regular basis EVER imagine I’d not only share  a “donkeys day” with donkeys fans … I’d have thrown down with anyone who gave them crap for simply being donkeys fans?  (Because I sure as all hell wouldn’t have.)

And folks?  If I'm wrong?

If I’m wrong? 

Then this ain’t a love song!

I just have to trust that Clark Hunt, the Hunt Family, Scott Pioli, “Coach Baffoon”, and whatever remnants of the DiParto family that remains, won’t be welcoming me on Sunday to the worst funeral I’ve attended since Randy’s.

Because he’d have not only reached his breaking point yesterday … he’d have reached his “Nance!  We’re done!!!!” moment at least a quarter and a half before I did.  That man, God love him, NEVER truly gave up.  NEVER.

But I have to honestly admit – I’m ready to.  And those are the nine most painful words I’ve ever typed on this site.  I'm ready to walk away.  (everyone voice) bullsh*t Stevo.  Bullsh*t!  (stevo voice) yeah, true.  But still -- threatening the Chiefs has to count for something, right?  (crickets chirping ...)

chiefs! donkeys! initial thought!

sk: your 2012 Kansas (Sh*tty) Chiefs!!!  (kazoo voice) !!!!!!!!!!!!

Full recap on the way.  Until then, well -- this just about sums up what yesterday was to me ...

mixology 2012 part sies: the g*ddamned donkeys

In the words of Ryan Seacrest: “dim the lights, cut the music, here we go!”  Mixology Version Sies!

The returning Mixologists, and the reason(s) for their inclusion, up first:

* “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood” by the Animals.  Yes, “We’ve Gotta Get Out of This Place” will make its way onto the playlist this week.  Because there’s GOT TO BE a better life, for me and you (boom boom!  Boom boom!)

* “Ticket to Ride” by the Beatles.  They’re getting a fourth addition this week, at least.

* “Hey Jude” by the Beatles.  As overrated as it is, everyone seems to like it enough to sing along.

* “Let It Be” by the Beatles.  Five words why: Greatest.  Song.  Of.  All.  Time.

* “Burn One Down” by Ben Harper.  The worst Ben Harper effort (and this isn’t it), is still better than 99.2% of everything else available on iTunes.

* “Sexual Healing”, covered by Ben Harper.  One of the rare songs where the cover is at least as good as the original.

* “No Diggity” by Blackstreet (featuring Dr. Dre).  Play on, playa.  Play on, playa.  No diggity?  No doubt!

* “The More I Drink” by Blake Shelton.  I have a feeling a LOT of drinking will be occurring tomorrow.  Especially amongst the fans wearing black. 

* “Could You Be Loved” by Bob Marley.  Never let it be said that I’m not an accommodating host.

* “One Love / People Get Ready” by Bob Marley.  Never let it be said that I’m not an accommodating host.

* “Lido Shuffle” by Boz Skaggs.  Because any song with an infectious chorus, that’s also about illegal gambling?  ALWAYS gets included in Mixology.

* “One Toke Over the Line” by Brewer and Shipley.  Yes, I watched Thursday’s debacle with my dad.  I think he needed a few tokes.  I mean, dear God – how in the hell does a professional team give up four touchdowns in 53 seconds?  How?  Especially when one of them is because the quarterback fumbles after his center’s ass dislodges the ball?  Chiefs fans, trust me – it could be worse.  (Pause.)  OK, maybe not, but – but! – it could be equally as painful!  Your 2012 New York Football Jets!!!

* “Better Days” by Bruce Springsteen.  I like it, what can I say.

* “Lucky Town” by Bruce Springsteen.  His most underrated effort off his most underrated album, and considering how much I love – I freaking LOVE! – “Tunnel of Love” from start to finish, that’s saying something. 

* “The Rising” by Bruce Springsteen.  Over my dead body, this gets excluded from any Mixology list.  Over my dead, cold body.

* “My Back Pages” by the Byrds.  Oh, but I was so much older then – I’m younger than that now!

* “Word Up” by Cameo.  I refuse to walk to Arrowhead.

* “Piano Man”, covered by Colton Dixon.  If the line read “there’s an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and vodka”, instead of “tonic and gin”?  Yeah, this song would be perfect then.

* “Down on the Corner” by Creedence Clearwater Revival.  I actually have to explain why?  Come on.  Great song.

* “Up Around the Bend” by Creedence Clearwater Revival.  Again, an explanation is necessary?  Really?

* “Maneater” by Daryl Hall and John Oates.  Don’t worry, more Hall and Oates to come – I just list these things alphabetically, as they appear on my iTunes Mixology list.

* “You Never Even Called Me By My Name” by David Allan Coe.  Yes, this song played last week … and yes, we enjoyed the hell out of it.  “You don’t have to call me darling, darling.  You never even called me by my name!!!”

* “Layla”, original version by Derek and the Dominoes.  Every time I think “The Champ” cannot possibly know less about the classics, he finds a way to top himself.  I swear, I’m going to get a “what’s a domino” query out of him at some point.

* “Down With the Sickness” by Disturbed.  Can you feel that?  (bobbing head …)  Aw shit.

* “Soldier of Love” by Donny Osmond.  You can never have enough cheezy late 80s ballads.  And none were worse than this.

* “Hotel California” by the Eagles (off the live “Hell Freezes Over” cd).  If one wanted to argue that this, not “Let It Be”, is the greatest song ever recorded … I wouldn’t make an objection.  God, this thing is great. 

* “September” by Earth, Wind and Fire.  Also known as “the last time any die-hard Chiefs fan felt good: September.”

* “Lose Yourself” by Eminem.  On Wednesday night, I will face “The Champ” for the first time since his botched team swap.  Let’s just say, I’ve been practicing.  Team Slaves WILL be ready.  We WILL represent.  We WILL win.  OK, fine, we won’t – but! – we WILL give it everything we’ve got.  There’s nothing I want more than to whip Dusty’s ass eight ways from Sunday on Wednesday night.  OK, fine, that’s a lie too – there’s nothing I want more right now, than a win tomorrow afternoon by the Red and Gold, and to shove that win in the face of every donkey lover I’ll have the privilege to encounter.  But beating Dusty by 150 pins a game, and seeing him have to cope with that?  Is a damned close second on the Stevo wish list.  (Sorry dude … but Wednesday’s personal.  PERSONAL.  It’s on like goddamned Donkey Kong hitting every bong in the five county metropolitan area.)

* “Drink In My Hand” by Eric Church.  Well, duh.  I’m typing this up at 8:38 on a Saturday morning with a drink in my hand.

* “Layla”, acoustic version by Eric Clapton.  One of the few songs where the “new” version tops the original.  And the original is damned amazing.

* “Go Your Own Way” by Fleetwood Mac.  If one wanted to make an argument for this to be the greatest song of all time … I would object.  But very mildly.

* “We Are Young” by Fun. (featuring Janelle Monae).  This Janelle Monae chick has had a lot of “featuring” credits.  Who the hell is she?  What exactly does she lend to the song?  Is she hot?  Hang on, let me Google search that … oh.  Oh Sweet f*cking Jesus!  (phoebe cates voice) My eyes!  My eyes!

And dear God – I am NOT explaining who Phoebe Cates is.  I’m not THAT old.  Well … ok, fine.  Lisa Kudrow’s character on “Friends”.  If you didn’t know that, I pray you’re either (a) above the age of 50, or (b) mentally “special”.

* “Rock and Roll Part Two” by Gary Glitter.  Again, and I ask this with all sincerity and seriousness: is ANYONE surprised that a man named Gary Glitter is a convicted child molestor?  Cause I sure as hell am not.

* “Where Everybody Knows Your Name” by Gary Portnoy.  It accomplished its purpose last week.  Sometimes, détente is a good thing.  Ask “Tricky” Dick Nixon about that, I guess.

* “Dream Weaver” by Gary Wright.  I defy you to find anyone else whose Mixology list would have song by three different guys named Gary.

* “What Is Life” by George Harrison.  DJ’s off the hook, because I had last week’s George Harrison brain fart.  I couldn’t remember the name of this cd.  (The answer: “All Things Must Pass”).  God above, my mom probably just wrote me out of the will for that brain fart.  (my mom’s voice) nah, you were written out long before that brain fart!!!

* “I Got My Mind Set On You” by George Harrison.  As I noted last week, this was the last Beatle to reach number one until the Anthology came out.  What I didn’t mention, was my Anthology story, so … hell, it’s story time!

Freshman year of college, Sunday night before Thanksgiving.  I didn’t come home for the Chiefs game that night (they hosted the Houston Oilers).  I’m flipping constantly between the game and the Anthology, and at every commercial break, my mom and I are calling each other to express what we thought about said Anthology’s last segment.  (What can I say, my mom is the biggest Beatles fan you’ll ever meet … and she raised me with a proper, healthy respect for the world’s second greatest band.  Sorry mom – I like the Stones that much more.) 

Anyways, about 9:56pm CT that Sunday night, ABC comes out of the commercial break to air “Free As A Bird”, the first new Beatles release in 25 years (and it would hit number one).  Meanwhile, on ESPN, the Oilers are tied at 13 with the Chiefs, and are literally handing the ball off to bleed the clock and go to overtime. 

Then, out of nowhere, as I’m enjoying “Free As a Bird”, the dorm room next to mine goes ape sh*t crazy.  (My freshman year, I lived next to two people from Kansas City).  I mean, it’s crazy party time next door.  Next thing I know, my door’s getting pounded by Matt and Brian (the neighbors), asking me “can you believe this!  Can you believe this!”

Uuh, believe what?

Yeah.  The Oilers running back, former Chief Todd McNair, literally fumbled without being touched, while trying to run out the clock, and Chiefs S Mark Collins took it to the house for the third “holy f*cking sh*t, how did THAT happen?!?!?!” finish of the 1995 season.  To this day, I have not watched that play.  I’m still too p*ssed at myself for not believing the impossible could happen.  Because that 1995 Chiefs team proved the impossible CAN happen.

Back to Mixology.

* “Somebody That I Used to Know” by Gotye.  I like it.

* “Rich Girl” by Hall and Oates.  Their most underrated effort.

* “Private Eyes” by Hall and Oates.  Their best effort.

* “Long Cool Woman (In a Black Dress)” by the Hollies.  Great song.

* “Shout” by the Isley Brothers.  My good buddy known as “The Voice of Reason”?  “Animal House” is his dad’s favorite movie.  I think it’s safe to say, most of us who know G, are stunned that his dad has even seen “Animal House”, let alone revere it like he does.

* “Someone To Love” by Jefferson Airplane.  “Who’s Grace Slick”?  Classic.

* “Sky High” by Jigsaw.  I set the playlist.  Deal with it.  (AKA “this slot is negotiable …”)

* “I Got a Name” by Jim Croce.  I could be talked into defending this song as the greatest recording of all time.  It’s not … but I could be convinced to argue that point.

* “Work” by Jimmy Eat World.  “I can’t say I was never wrong, but some blame rests on you!  Work and play, they’re never ok, to mix the way we do!”

* “I Hate Myself for Loving You” by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.  And like you, dear readers, I too am “anxiously anticipating” what my “Bowling Night in America” re-write is going to read on Wednesday morning.  Especially since I have Monday and Tuesday off, both to “recover” from the ass whipping the Chiefs are about to endure, but also, wow, I now got two whole days to compose this thing.  In the words of the great Mr. Hugh M. Hefner, “this is going to be something … REALLY special!”

* “Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off” by Joe Nichols.  Funniest moment from last week had to be the “remembrance” of the most classic Stevo moment ever, when the Bus left in a hurry, I wound up falling ass first onto the handle of the generator, laid out in excruciating pain … (yes, landing on a handle of a generator as it lodges in your ass crack DOES hurt) … and somehow, I not only didn’t spill a drop of my drink, everyone got to laugh at me for five plus minutes, because my “I Heart Beer” boxers (plus, presumably, the eight plus inches I’m packing … ok, fine, six and a half … ok, fine, six) were exposed for everyone to see.  You’re welcome?

* “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey.  This is “The Crush”’s ringtone.  It’s a great song.  And since it’s officially Chrismukkah season … hell yes, I’m hauling out the Santa hat with mistletoe attached tomorrow!  I’m just disappointed it took me three years to figure out that neat “has to kiss me” trick.

* “Open Arms” by Journey.  Two straight home games it got applause.  It stays.

* “Somewhere Only We Know” by Keane.  This might get punted on the ride out Sunday morning, as I finalize the playlist.

* “Luckenbach, Texas”, covered by Kid Rock and Kenny Chesney.  If you’ve heard this, it needs no explanation.

* “Footloose” by Kenny Loggins.  Why Blake Shelton even attempted to remake this, I have no clue.  Some sh*t can’t be topped.  This is that “some sh*t that can’t be topped”.

* “What I Like About You” by the Kinks.  Great song.

* “Fresh” by Kool and the Gang.  “She’s a lady!” never fails to slay me.

* “Jump” by Kris Kross.  I promise to have my Jets hat on backwards as this song plays.  (But you always wear that hat backwards …)

* “Yeah!” by Usher, featuring Lil’ Jon and Ludacris.  How this song didn’t crack Rolling Stone’s Top 100 of the 2000s, I have no idea. 

* “One Step Closer” by Linkin Park.  Every Chiefs game brings me one step closer to the edge.  And I’m definitely about to break.

* “Penny Lover” by Lionel Richie.  I refuse to walk home from Arrowhead.

* “Dancing on the Ceiling” by Lionel Richie.  I have a feeling my wish regarding this song, ain’t happening tomorrow.  But a kid can dream.

* “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO.  People seem to like it.

* “Borderline” by Madonna.  I like it.

* “Shining Star” by the Manhattans.  As I’ve noted every week so far, this is not a great “tailgating” choice for Mixology.  As everyone else has noted every week this has popped up – “great choice Stevo!”  This song is epically good. 

* “Every Monday” by Marvelous 3.  Seriously, give it a listen.  This is the most criminitely underrated band of all time. 

* “Come On Get Higher” by Matt Nathanson.  A suggestion no Chiefs fan can ignore, or deny.

* “Time to Pretend” by MGMT.  What, that we can win this game?

* “Electric Feel” by MGMT.  What, should I stick my fingers into the plug deal in the wall?

* “Kids” by MGMT.  I’ll give ya MGMT all you want chica, but this The xx sh*t ain’t making it back into Mixology for awhile.  Man, that stuff was awful.

* “Daydream Believer” by the Monkees.  This gets punted over my dead, cold body laying 29 feet below the surface.

* “Bye Bye Bye” by NSYNC.  How this song wasn’t the best song of the 2000s, I have no idea.

* “Regulate” by Nate Dogg and Warren G.  I have a feeling that tomorrow, it will be the broncos who “regulate”.

* “Closer” by Ne-Yo.  I still want to know what the hell a “Ne-Yo” is.  Is it like a yo-yo?  Or a slinky?

* “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond.  Do you realize that next year, it’s 50 years since the assassination of President Kennedy?  Unreal.

* “Stand By Me” by Otis Redding.  The best version of this song ever recorded.

* “Innocent” by Our Lady Peace.  It’s my favorite song of all time.  It’s included.

* “In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins.  If there’s anything in the air tonight, I’ll probably get sick from it.  I’ve been sick all week.  Can’t wait to see what crap I get from the family gathering today.

* “Easy Lover” by Phil Collins and Phillip Bailey.  The leads from Genesis and Earth, Wind and Fire combining for this effort?  Yes, please!

* “Home” by Phillip Phillips.  Best song of 2012.

* “Boom!” by POD.  Tailgating tradition.

* “Killer Queen” by Queen.  Awesome, awesome song.

* “Guerrila Radio” by Rage Against the Machine.  I’ve reached my “f*ck it, cut the cord!” moment.  Have you, fellow Chiefs fan?  You have?  Sweet!  Then WEAR ALL BLACK tomorrow!  Send the message!

* “Go All The Way” by the Raspberries.  It’s been far, far, far too long since this applied to me.  We’re pushing a year at this point.  (Note to self: visit the Eclipse this week …)

* “Endless Summer Nights” by Richard Marx.  Arguably the 1980s greatest song.

* “Super Freak” by Rick James.  My bad – this is arguably the 1980s greatest song.

* “Sympathy For the Devil” by the Rolling Stones.  In my top five favorite songs by my favorite band.  And if you haven’t seen the HBO documentary “Crossfire Hurricane” yet, you gotta see it, it’s incredibly good.

* “Get Off Of My Cloud” by the Rolling Stones.  One of their first smash hits, and still one of their greatest efforts.

* “Paint It Black” by the Rolling Stones.  Arrowhead Nation?  Take the hint!

* “Start Me Up” by the Rolling Stones.  “You make a dead man cum.”  Never fails to make me laugh.

* “Gimme Shelter” by the Rolling Stones.  It’s at this point I have to ask: if the “Steve Pederson” of tailgating shows up this week, should I throw “Let’s Spend the Night Together” onto the Mixology rotation … or does “Go Your Own Way”, or the upcoming number by Tenacious D, get the point across?  Tough decision.

* “Pretty Woman” by Roy Orbison.  I’m sorry, but the “growl” he makes a minute into this song, is one of the funniest moments ever recorded.

* “Gin and Juice” by Snoop Dogg.  Laid back …

* “Faded” by soulDecision.  Over my dead, cold body.

* “I Don’t Remember Last Night” by Sunny Ledford.  Not a god!  damned!  thing!

* “Poem” by Taproot.  Will probably get “fired” at the last second, as I scramble things up on the ride out to Arrowhead.

* “Stranglehold” by Ted Nugent.  I’m seriously contemplating putting “Kiss My Ass” on the playlist … even though it’s Ted’s “affectionate” love letter to the Clinton’s.

* “F*ck Her Gently” by Tenacious D.  Great song.

* “Don’t Leave Me This Way” by Thelma Houston.  For the older folks in the crowd.

* “All Or Nothing” by Theory of a Deadman.  Yes.  Win or else, guys.  Win … or else.

* “Out Of My Head” by Theory of a Deadman.  I’ve been accused of worse.

* “Shambala” by Three Dog Night.  Yes, more please.

* “I Like It, I Love It” by Tim McGraw.  Hard to believe this song is pushing 20 years.

* “Free Fallin’” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.  Epically good.

* “Save Me, San Francisco” by Train.  I’ve been high, and I’ve been low!  I’ve been yes, and I’ve been OH!  HELL!  NO!!!  I’m guessing I’m going to be “low” and “OH HELL NO!” leaving Arrowhead tomorrow.

* “Downfall” by TRUST Company.  Just because.

* “Beautiful Day” by U2.  And yes, the worst day imaginable at Arrowhead – and I think what’s looming on Sunday qualifies as “worst day imaginable” – the worst day imaginable at Arrowhead?  Is still a beautiful day.

* “Toes” by Zac Brown Band.  I wish my toes were in the water, and my ass was in the sand.

* “Down” by 311.  Hard to believe this song is pushing 20 years old.

* “Dust In the Wind” by Kansas.  YOU’RE MY BOY BLUE!!!

* “Aw!  The denver broncos?!?!?!” from the Simpsons.  This WILL get played tomorrow.  Multiple times.  No way around it.

* “Black Betty” by Ram Jam.  I HATE this song.  Everyone else loves it.  So be it.

* “Tailfeathers” by Nelly.  I HATE Nelly … but this song isn’t half bad.

* “NFL on FOX Theme Song”, remix edition.  Tailgating classic.

So that’s 112 slots filled.  I’m going to slot eight more in, then finish filling out the rotation on the ride out tomorrow morning.  So you have until then to let me know either via text, or Twitter (@teamtito15), or email (teamtito15@yahoo.com), what you want to hear.  The final eight for now:

* “The Return” vs denver, 2003.  KCFX version.

* “The Stand” vs denver, 2005.  KCFX version.

* “The Return” vs denver, 2003.  CBS version.

* “The Kick”, vs denver, 1997.  NBC version.

* “The Interception”, at denver, 2000.  CBS version.

* “Lord, You Can Take Me Now”, at denver, 1994.  ABC version.

* “The Time Of My Life” by David Cook.  Added for a reason, along with …

* “Don’t You (Forget About Me)”, covered by David Cook.  The reason for these last two inclusions is simple: this time of year?  The ONLY thing that matters is family.  All of us have family we’re actually related to … but the truly blessed in this life, have “family” we CHOOSE as OUR family.

I have my blood family … but I also have my Chiefs family.  None more deserving of a tremendous, incredible Chrismukkah season than the lady I sat behind for ten years, Chris.  The David Cook inclusions are for you girl.  We are “family”.  Never forget – or doubt – that fact.

Prediction: Chiefs (+10 ½) 33, broncos 19 … and THE BEST postgame celebration in a long, long, long, long time.  This team has one gigantic upset in it.  It’s time to lay the cards on the table boys, and give your die-hards what we deserve: a win over Satan’s franchise. 

And just in case you think I’m insane for picking the Chiefs to win … well, fine, let’s not argue mental capacity.  But I have nailed us in this spot before.  And I’m fairly certain I’ll be wide awake even earlier tomorrow, than I was four years ago.  Let’s do this, Arrowhead Nation!  

WIN!  THIS!  GAME!!!

mixology 2012 part cinco: the bengals

Welcome back everyone!  I apologize for the nearly week long absence.  I’m still in either phase two or three of denial over last Tuesday’s outcome.  But eventually, you gotta get back on the horsie and ride that pony.  Well, unless you’re Eric Berry.  Then you cower in irrational fear when seeing said proverbial horsie.

Here’s the Initial Playlist for Sunday’s impending debacle against the Bengals.  Like the last couple Mixology choices, it’s heavy both on classic rock and modern indie stuff, with a healthy dose of the 80s mixed in.  As always, if you’re coming on Sunday, feel free to join us (the grassy lot just north of the G30 pole), and if you’re coming Sunday, and joining us?  Feel free to leave suggestions to add to the playlist in the comments section, or hit me up on Twitter (@teamtito15) or email (teamtito15@yahoo.com).

Or hell, just show up and witness something that if you’d told 20 year old me that 35 year old me would ever experience – a NFL starting quarterback that attended and/or graduated from my alma mater – that I would have laughed myself into a coma over.  We now live in a world in which a TCU quarterback can not only start in the NFL, he can lead his team to the playoffs.  20 year old me sitting through an 0-10 start to the season would have laughed you out of Amon Carter Stadium at that absurd idea.

Here we go.  First, the holdovers, and the reason(s) for their inclusion:

* “God Only Knows” by the Beach Boys.  Entertainment Weekly has called this the greatest pop song ever recorded.  I disagree … but it’s in the realm of discussion.

* “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” by the Beach Boys.  If you’ve ever seen “Roger and Me”, that scene where Ben, the GM employee, has his mental breakdown as this song is playing?  Let’s just say, that when ABC projected Mr. Obama over the 270 threshold, that I immediately muted the TV, and cranked this song up on iTunes as I pounded four bottles of wine.

* “Ticket to Ride” by the Beatles.  Their most underrated effort.

* “Hey Jude” by the Beatles.  Their most overrated effort.

* “Let It Be” by the Beatles.  THIS is the greatest pop song ever recorded.  Sorry, EW and any musician with the last name of Wilson.

* “No Diggity” by Blackstreet (featuring Dr. Dre).  Play on, playa.  Play on, playa.  Come on, nobody my age can hate this song.  Hell, nobody my parents age can hate this song. 

* “The More I Drink” by Blake Shelton.  Well, duh.

* “Could You Be Loved” by Bob Marley.  Remember the stash, Champ.  I’m jonesing for a couple hits.  You at least owe me that after the last few months dude.

(Christ, way to be subtle there, Stevo.)

* “One Love/People Get Ready” by Bob Marley.  True story: I had Tuesday off, because back in April when I thought the Chiefs were going to be worth two shits, I saw we had a Monday nighter, and figured I’d need the next day to recover.  Anyways, I somehow woke up in time to catch “The Price is Right”, and one of the prizes was an all expenses paid, all inclusive 8 day / 7 night trip to Jamaica.  Care to guess the value of this trip?  And keep in mind – I priced Jamaican trips for my buddy DJ’s wedding last year (and quickly realized I couldn’t afford it).  $7500.  $7500!  Jesus, I thought $2000 was high last year for Ocho!  All I can say is, for that extra $5500, there better be some HELLA good weed thrown in as a lovely arriving gift.

* “Lido Shuffle” by Boz Skaggs.  One of about 11-12 non-negotiable, “included no matter what” all time classics.  I mean, come on, you know you wanna.  LIDO!  WHOA OAH OAH OAH OAH OAH! 

* “One Toke Over the Line” by Brewer and Shipley.  Somehow, this is my dad’s favorite song.  And if you know my dad … wait a second: mellowest dude I know.  Completely laid back.  Never lets anything phase him.  Uum, let’s move on before I start making assumptions …

* “Word Up” by Cameo.  I’d have to walk home if I didn’t include this on the rotation.

* “Down On the Corner” by Creedence Clearwater Revival.  No song brought a bigger applause out of the assembled tailgating masses last game, than this one.  Which sucks – I was hoping my Rolling Stones kick would accomplish that.  But still, great song that will get rewound at least once if it pops up.

* “Up Around the Bend” by Creedence Clearwater Revival.  I like this song.  Sue me.

* “You Never Even Called Me By My Name” by David Allan Coe.  It truly is the perfect country and western song.

* “I’ve Been Waiting” by Dazz Band.  Trust me, you’ve heard it.  I swear to Christ, you’ve heard it.

* “Layla”, original version by Derek and the Dominoes.  Still my favorite Dusty story to this day: the first time he heard this song in my presence, and he’s like “that’s a really great song.  What is it?”  I’m like “It’s Layla.  Eric Clapton, actually Derek and the Dominoes, but it’s Layla.  Written about George Harrison’s wife actually”.  Which prompted two classic DJ responses: (1) “Who’s George Harrison”, and (2) “this isn’t Layla!  Layla’s a slow, stripped down song!”  Kids.  Christ.  Who’s George Harrison*.  Just for that, we’re sliding at least two efforts by him onto the Mixology list this week.  (And your true fact of the day: the last Beatle to record a song to hit number one was … well, the Beatles, with “Free As a Bird” off the first Anthology.  But before that, it was George Harrison, with “I Got My Mind Set On You”.  Stay tuned; that’ll be on here eventually.)

(*: Champ, George Harrison was a Beatle.  His biggest, most well known ballad with them was probably “Something”, one of the most amazing songs ever written.  He also released the best post-Beatles song any of them did, with “What Is Life”.  Who’s George Harrison.  Kids.  Christ.)

* “Down With the Sickness” by Disturbed.  No brainer.  All time tailgating classic.  Plus, you can’t beat when this starts playing, and I start the slow beat dancing, and then drop the “aw shit!” to lead into the good stuff.  I just like the phrase “aw shit”.  Especially when a five year old is saying it while playing washers.

* “Soldier of Love” by Donny Osmond.  It’s on the fence.  It’s the one late 80s ballad I struggle to justify the inclusion of.  Talk me off the ledge – give me a reason(s) to keep it.

* “Hotel California” by the Eagles (live version from “Hell Freezes Over”).  God I love this song. 

* “September” by Earth Wind and Fire.  Speaking of songs I love … here’s my proposal, Clark Hunt and Hunt Family, and hell, even Scott Pioli.  (Sorry Coach Baffoon – you’re a goner.)  IF – and I’m being EXTREMELY MUY GENEROSO here – IF you bring back Patti DiParto Livergood and the TD Pack Band?  I’ll guarantee I renew both my seats.  It’s outrageous that I’m not welcomed to Arrowhead for the home opener as she plays this song.  Outrageous.  Fix that?  You get my $1200 and change again next year, roster and coaching changes unseen.  Deal?

* “Lose Yourself” by Eminem.  I bowl every Wednesday night.  This week, I forgot my earplug headphones (to listen to Pandora or my Blackberry iTunes stash while I’m bowling, to drown out distractions with music), so I had my massive “cover half your head” headphones I wear to Chiefs games to listen to the broadcast with.  This prompted every member of Team Panda (who whipped our ass this week) to start calling me “Eminem” all night long.  I promised to include this song in tribute to my (apparent) street cred I gained on Wednesday night.  (Street cred?  Jesus, people actually use phrases like that?  No wonder Obama won re-election – we’re too damned stupid as a society to realize that Economics 101 or Common Sense 101 cred should matter mor … let’s just move on before I piss off 50.7% of the readership.)

* “Layla”, the acoustic Unplugged version, by Eric Clapton.  If ever anything screamed for a Nick Bakay “Tale of the Tape” breakdown, it’s the original Layla versus the unplugged version.  Cause I’ll be damned if I can pick a winner.  They both rock something awesome.

* “Dance Dance” by Fall Out Boy.  I so wanted to put “Sugar, We’re Going Down” … but sadly, there will be nobody there on Sunday who is a “notch on my bedpost”.  Son of a …

* “We Are Young” by Fun. (featuring Janelle Monae).  Tonight, we are young!  (And defeated.  Good God, DEFEATED.)

* “Rock and Roll Part II” by Gary Glitter.  Because anytime a 70 something year old child molester can be on the Mixology list, you have to do it.

* “Dream Weaver” by Gary Wright.  This one is a Stevo-picked inclusion.  Not up for discussion.

* “Somebody That I Used to Know” by Gotye.  “But you didn’t have to cut me off!”  It’s been way, way, way too long since I had to use that phrase in an argument with a girl.

* “Maneater” by Hall and Oates.  Combined with …

* “Private Eyes” by Hall and Oates.  Combined with …

* “Rich Girl” by Hall and Oates.  Come on, you KNOW you want to.  “You’re a rich girl, and you’ve gone too far, cause you know it don’t matter anyway.  You can rely on the old man’s money, you can rely on the old man’s money!  It’s a bitch girl …”

* “Long Cool Woman (In a Black Dress)” by the Hollies.  If you don’t like this song, I question whether or not you have a pulse.

* “Shout” by the Isley Brothers.  NOBODY nails the “lil’ bit softer now … lil’ bit softer now … lil’ bit Louder now … lil’ bit LOUDER now!” moment better than me.  Other than everyone in “Animal House” of course.  God, is that movie really as old as I am?!?!?!  Sweet merciful Jesus.

* “Somebody to Love” by Jefferson Airplane.  My favorite bts story (at least I think it was Brent): he was in an airport and texted us that “I just met Grace Slick.  (pause).  Who’s Grace Slick?”  Kids.  Christ.

* “I Got a Name” by Jim Croce.  One of the 11-12 “not a shot in hell I’m booting this” choices in the Mixology rotation.  God, I LOVE this song.  But what shocked me most of all, at the last tailgate?  Was that “The Crush” was totally digging this song!  No, really – we even sang out loud the last two verses together, and she knew every damned word!  She truly IS “the Crush” for a reason!  “Like the fool I am and I’ll always be, I’ve got a dream.  I’ve got a dream!  They can change their minds, but they can’t change me.  I’ve got a dream.  I’ve got a dream!  Oh, I know I could share it if you want me to.  And if you’re going my way?  I’ll go with you!”  Hang on, I gotta rewind this one before moving on … although the next song certainly could describe my feelings for how I feel about this one …

* “I Hate Myself for Loving You” by Joan Jett and the Blackhawks.  If it’s good enough for NBC to rewrite every week to introduce the biggest game of the week, it’s good enough to earn four minutes of playtime on a grassy lot at Arrowhead.

* “Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off” by Joe Nichols.  Sadly, we have NOT seen Castro yet this year!  What the hell?  Sal’s been to every game.  Ditto his annoying family across the causeway with their damned horn that never shuts up.  But no Castro!  This demands an investigation!  Is he in jail?  Is he dead?  Is he on the run from the law?  This is why this season has been such a disaster – I haven’t had my built in five shots of five different Patron’s before heading in.  It’s that, or not getting the alcohol flavored whipped cream shots sprayed into my mouth to “celebrate” a victory, as I’m on my knees and “The Ex” is spraying that shit down my throat.  I swear to Christ, this makes sense as it plays out.  It just sounds, uuh, (brian griffin voice) gay!, on paper.  (seinfeld voice) Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

* “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey.  Well of course this is on there.  It is “The Crush”’s ringtone for God’s sake.

* “Open Arms” by Journey.  I finally remembered why I loved this song so much – the Cold Case episode where this played over the closing aired a couple nights ago.  (“Baby Blues”, and if you’ve never seen it, or Cold Case, it’s available in its entirety on Youtube! for your viewing pleasure, and trust me – this 42 minutes, you won’t regret watching.  Or if you've seen the, uuh, scene in question, three you won't regret.)

* “Luckenback, Texas”, cover, by Kid Rock and Kenny Chesney.  If it has Russ’ seal of approval, it’s good enough for me.

* “Footloose” by Kenny Loggins.  (stevo giving death stare to anyone questioning this song’s inclusion in Mixology Version Cinco).

* “What I Like About You” by the Kinks.  It’s a classic.

* “Fresh” by Kool and the Gang.  “She’s a lady”.  That line NEVER fails to slay me. 

* “Jump!” by Kris Kross.  Jesus, this was a massive smash hit 21 years ago?  And I REMEMBER when it was a massive smash hit 21 years ago?  What, next thing I know, you’re going to tell me that underwear model / rapper Marky Mark is a reputable actor?  (being told that yes, Mark Wahlberg is a credible, reputable actor who starred in one of my favorite movies of all time, “Invincible”)  WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

* “Yeah!” by Lil’ Jon, Ludacris, and Usher.  I love songs with the “!” in their official title.

* “One Step Closer” by Linkin Park.  Hopefully we’ll be one step closer to the top overall draft pick by the time Sunday comes and goes.

* “Penny Lover” by Lionel Richie.  I refuse to walk home.

* “Dancing on the Ceiling” by Lionel Richie.  We have to win at some point, right?  Right?  (crickets chirping)  Right?

* “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO.  So not sorry to see “Jersey Shore” bite the dust.

* “Borderline” by Madonna.  Might have to add another Madonna track or two, to be honest.

* “Shining Star” by the Manhattans.  Is it a great “tailgating” song?  No, it’s not.  It’s slow, it’s sappy, it’s kind of a drag at times.  But – BUT! – come on folks!  How can you NOT!  LOVE!  THIS!  SONG!  “Honey you!  Are my shining star!  Don’t you go away!”

* “Every Monday” by Marvelous 3.  If you have never listened to anything Marvelous 3 did, please – download this song.  You will NOT regret the 3:30 you spend with it.  This song is EPIC.

* “Time to Pretend” by MGMT.  What, that we’re a legitimate NFL franchise?

* “Electric Feel” by MGMT.  That’s not a phrase any Chiefs fan will feel after watching this team play.

* “Kids” by MGMT.  Yeah, I love this band.

* “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus.  For dance potential.

* “Daydream Believer” by the Monkees.  This was the song that got the second most “sweet, glad to hear it!” compliments last home game, and considering we had a 6 ½ hour tailgate, that’s saying something.  I actually was listening to this on my Blackberry the other day, and somehow (stunner, I know) wound up singing out loud, and the lady that sits behind me looks up (she’s probably 60, 61 years old) with a “wait, YOU listen to the Monkees?!?!” look of “I’m not sure whether to be proud or feel really, really old” confusion on her face.  Yes, I listen to the Monkees.  My parents raised me right, godd*mmit!

* “Bye Bye Bye” by NSYNC.  Let’s hope these three words are what we are saying to Scott Pioli and Coach Baffoon in seven weeks.

* “Regulate” by Nate Dogg and Warren G.  Regulators!  Mount up …

* “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond.  My go-to karaoke option.

* “Stand by Me” by Otis Redding.  The best version of this song ever recorded.

* “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins.  Tailgating tradition.

* “Easy Lover” by Phillip Bailey and Phil Collins.  Great 80s track.  Fun song.

* “Home” by Phillip Phillips.  My favorite song of 2012, and I’d say that even if I wasn’t addicted to “American Idol”.

* “Boom!” by POD.  I don’t think you’re allowed to have a Mixology list for a Chiefs game without this song on there.

* “Killer Queen” by Queen.  This song is so good, on so many levels.  A masterpiece.

* “Endless Summer Nights” by Richard Marx.  The perfect late 1980s song.  Well, actually, “Right Here Waiting” is the perfect late 1980s song … but survey says, it came out in 1990!  Whew!

* “Sympathy for the Devil” by the Rolling Stones.  I’m on a huge, I mean hu-yuge, Stones kick lately.  It’ll show.

* “Get Off Of My Cloud” by the Rolling Stones.  This song just rules.  It’s cool, sing along – I’m about to: “The telephone is ringing / I say hi, it’s me / Who is it there on the line? / A voice says hi, how are you / Well I guess I’m doing fine / He says it’s 3am / There’s too much noise / Don’t you people ever want to go to bed?  Do you feel so good you have to / Drive me out of my head? … I said hey (hey!) you (you!) get off of my cloud!  Hey (hey!) you (you!) get off of my cloud! …”

* “Start Me Up” by the Rolling Stones.  Call me crazy, but anytime a song manages to use the phrase “you make a dead man cum”, you’re going on the Mixology rotation.  Come on, I made it to page 9 before the first not-even-remotely-funny-and-beyond-tasteless sex joke.  That’s gotta be a record for me.

* “Gimme Shelter” by the Rolling Stones.  Reminds me, if you have HBO, you HAVE to catch the Stones documentary that debuted yesterday, and has been airing since.  It’s incredible.  It’s the most fascinating music documentary since the Anthology series on the Beatles 17 years ago.

* “Gin and Juice” by Snoop Dogg.  Call me crazy, but anytime a song manages to use the phrase “rollin’ down the street, smokin’ endo, sippin’ on gin and juice!”, you’re going on the Mixology rotation.  Here’s how you know you’re damned old: I remember buying the cassette single for this song 21 years ago.  CASSETTE.  SINGLE.  Christ.

* “Faded” by soulDecision.  As long as I draw breath, this song will appear on Mixology.  Plus, I’ve always loved the line leading into the chorus: “Girl, do we do what we did last night again?  Baby, then you and I would be better friends.  Don’t you think it’s time we went a bit further, oh yeah?”  The song is about a random hookup for God’s sake, and he thinks its time we “went a bit further”?  That’s awesome!  Three hole playoff (rimshot!) 

* “Kiss ‘Em Goodbye” by Steam.  If I make it to Target tomorrow (and that’s doubtful, but I WILL before the broncos game) to buy the Scott Pioli Pinata?  Feel free to take your whacks at it with a crowbar while this song plays, and we all “express our love” for Mr. Pioli through song. 

* “I Don’t Remember Last Night” by Sunny Ledfurd.  Because anytime you not only don’t remember last night, you don’t remember a godd*mned thing?  You’re on Mixology.

* “Stranglehold” by Ted Nugent.  I’m seriously tempted to load “Kiss My Ass” onto next week’s Mixology.  You people have NO idea – no f*cking clue! – how much I am both anticipating and dreading next week’s tailgate.

* “Don’t Leave Me This Way” by Thelma Houston.  The one – ok, fine, I have more than one, but THE one – b*tch I have about my favorite movie of all time (that would be “Saturday Night Fever”), is that Tony and Annette should have rehearsed to this song, rather than Yvonne Elliman’s “If I Can’t Have You”.  Both choices work … but I think this one works better.  Barely.  God, when that’s my biggest b*tch, is that the “girl getting screwed over song” could have been slightly more epic?  It’s my favorite movie of all time for a reason.  (As I attempted to lay out last year.)

* “I Like It, I Love It” by Tim McGraw.  I was a freshman in college when this song came out.  My alma mater was still in the Southwest Conference when this song came out.  That was FOUR conferences ago (the WAC, the Mountain West, the Big East, and finally, where they should have been all along, the Big XII).  Also, did you see TCU upped tuition – again – to where the average student will plop down $31,000 a semester to attend school there?  Jesus!  And to think my parents b*tched at the $130,000 some odd dollars the best 3 ½ years of my life set them back!  Can you imagine being out $250,000 just for an undergrad degree? 

* “Free Fallin’” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.  Call me crazy (and I’ve been called worse) – this is my favorite Stevie Nicks effort. 

* “Save Me, San Francisco” by Train.  (stevo giving a death stare to ANYONE who opposes this being on Mixology Part Cinco).  GOD ABOVE, I LOVE THIS SONG!

* “Downfall” by TRUST Company.  Hey, he picked an alt-rockie type song thingy.  Good for you, Stevie!  Good job, Scuba Steve*!

(*: if you ever want to ensure I will literally get so enraged that I will threaten to throw down with you, call me “Scuba Steve” more than once.  You have NO idea how many lame ass “hey, it’s Scuba Steve!” jokes I had to endure after “Big Daddy” came out.  NO idea.  There is only one person allowed to get away with calling me that, and that is “My Special Little Guy”, my four year old nephew who thinks its funny.  (Hint: it’s not.)  Just a hint.  (“the crush” voice) Could I call you Scuba Steve?  Oh hell to the mother f*cking yes you can!)

* “Beautiful Day” by U2.  Pretty much how I feel about any GameDay, regardless of how awful the home team is.

* “Toes” by the Zac Brown Band.  I can think of worse places to be right now than a beach.  Arrowhead on Sunday immediately comes to mind.

* “Down” by 311.  The fun I used to have to this song back in the day with a certain fellow Horny Frog.  (pause.)  Wait, my mom reads this, let’s move on.

* “The Rising” by Bruce Springsteen.  Still my favorite by The Boss … although the entire cd “Tunnel of Love” is grousely underrated.  It’s Zues in nature.

* “Dust In The Wind” by Kansas.  YOU’RE MY BOY BLUE!!!

* “Aw, the denver broncos?!?!?!” from “The Simpsons”.  Always good for a laugh or fifty.

* “Black Betty” by Ram Jam.  I hate this song … but I do take requests.

* “Tailfeather” by Nelly.  I hate this song … but I do take requests.

* “The NFL on FOX Theme Song”, elongated / pimped out version.  I was happy to haul this one off the 2006 tailgating cd.  Good choice.

* “Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani.  “This sh*t is bananas!  B-A-N-A-N-A-S!”

That’s 91 cuts from last week that made this week’s Mixology listing … which leaves a solid 40 slots wide, wide open.  I’m gonna fill some of them … and the remaining 10-12 I don’t fill, will get populated on the Bus Sunday morning on the ride out, as Sussan and I will do what we do best – start scanning my iTunes Library and giving a thumbs up or thumbs down to each potential choice.  Hey, it worked brilliantly three weeks ago.

The newest additions, in no particular order:

* “Paint It Black” by the Rolling Stones.  If you’ve ever seen my second favorite movie of all time (“The Devil’s Advocate”), you’ll get this line: “Vanity.  DEFINITELY my favorite sin!” 

* “Pretty Woman” by Roy Orbison.  Come on – that moment where Roy growls like a tiger on the prowl is legitimately laugh out loud, bring the room down in tears hysterical.     

* “Superfreak!” by Rick James (b*tch!).  God, is Eddie Murphy really so dated that his old SNL characters are no longer known by over half my readers?  “I’m Gumby, dammit!”  Although for comedy’s sake, NOTHING will top the use of this song in “Roseanne”’s 200^th episode, “What a Day for a Daydream”, one of the few final season episodes that more than stands the test of time.  When Roseanne and Jackie are posing for their “Women of the Lottery” issue of Playboy, and the great Mr. Hugh M. Hefner walks in, sees the repulsive images, and immediately deadpans, “ladies, this is going to be something … REALLY special!”, it brings the house down.

* “Go All the Way” by the Raspberries.  Told you I’ve been on a late 60s / early 70s kick lately.

* “Innocent” by Our Lady Peace.  Wait, how the f*ck did my favorite song of all time NOT make it onto the Mixology list over the last few weeks?  This is an OUTRAGE!

* “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood” by the Animals.  “Well I’m just a soul whose intentions are good – oh Lord, please don’t let me misunderstood!!!!”

* “Burn One Down” by Ben Harper.  Jesus Christ, did I REALLY forget to include ANY Ben Harper last time?  I did?!?!  Can I fire myself?  I can’t?  Damn.  (florida evans voice) damn, damn, damn!

* “Sexual Healing” by Ben Harper.  If I have to explain why this epic cover of an epic all-time classic is included on Mixology Part Cinco, there’s no hope for you.

* “Piano Man”, covered by Colton Dixon.  OK, blow up all you want, but – but! – I actually LOVE this cover.  And I’m the dude who typically HATES any covers of anything.  This guy (and in the interest of full disclosure, he was my pony / puppy / rooster / rubber chicken I backed on “Idol” last year) somehow took a completely depressing, down in the dumps song … and made it uplifting, positive, and inspirational.  Seriously.  When you can reinvent Billy Joel, you’ve done something right.

* “Drink In My Hand” by Eric Church.  Cannot believe this one slid through the cracks.  “All I wanna do is put a drink in my hand!”

* “Go Your Own Way” by Fleetwood Mac.  Because anytime a song works “packing up, shacking up’s all you wanna do!” into its lyrics, I can at least put it on the rotation list.

* “I Got My Mind Set On You” by George Harrison.  “Who’s George Harrison?”  Pay attention to the playlist, Champ.  Respect your elders, godd*mmit!

* “Sky High” by Jigsaw.  A great, forgotten classic from the mid 1970s.  “You’ve blown it all sky high / By telling me your lies / Without a reason why / You’ve blown it all sky high!” 

* “Work” by Jimmy Eat World.  “Can’t say I was never wrong / But some blame rests on you / Work and play, they’re never ok / To mix the way we do”. 

(captain obvious voice) wait, you say "pay attention to the playlist, champ ... and the next two songs, uum?  Yes, Captain Obvious.  I believe in subtle hints.

* “Somewhere Only We Know” by Keane.  I benched this one a few games ago … but clicking on it to reconsider its status … it’s back in the Mixology rotation.  I love this song too damned much.  I wish I had Blake Lewis’ version of it instead.  Hang on, searching iTunes … and nothing.  Damn.

* “Come On Get Higher” by Matt Nathanson.  My God, it was FOUR YEARS AGO this weekend that I saw him at the Bottleneck!  FOUR YEARS!  Where the hell has the time gone?!?!?!

* “Man In the Mirror” by Michael Jackson.  Hard to believe its been 3 ½ years.

* “Closer” by Ne-Yo.  Yes, I am the guy who, the first time he heard this song a few years ago, asked “what the hell is a Ne-Yo?”  Great cd.  Awesome song.

* “Guerrila Radio” by Rage Against the Machine.  Because I feel that every Chiefs fan has reached the Zack De La Roca breaking point: “F*ck it!  Cut the cord!”

* “Poem” by Taproot.  Whoa, Stevo chose a totally hard-core rocky song!  Good job Stevo!

* “F*ck Her Gently” by Tenacious D.  I know, I know – some people hate hearing the F bomb fly over the speakers … but come on.  This song is so f*cking awesome!

* “Out of My Head” by Theory of a Deadman.  Paired with …

* “All or Nothing” by Theory of a Deadman.  Mr. Hunt?  Mr. Pioli?  Mr. Baffoon?  Mr’s. Wrong 53?  Next Sunday? THIS SONG PERFECTLY DESCRIBES WHAT YOU HAD BETTER ACHIEVE ON THE FIELD!  “Looking at all or nothing – babe it’s you and I.  Looking at all or nothing – babe it’s you and I!!!”  Win next week … OR ELSE.  (Hint guys: I took the next TWO DAYS off work after the donkeys game.  I am prepared to “deal” with the impending debacle.  I’d prefer to not spend those two days in the Jackson County penal system.  Huh huh, he said “penal”.)

And finally, for the initial Mixology for Sunday …

* “Shambala” by Three Dog Night.  Actually, yeah, that’s on the Mixology list, and deservedly so, but the actual final initial run-through choice …

* “Where Everybody Knows Your Name” by Gary Portnoy.  It’s been a rough few months for me.  I’ve been in a b*tchfest over ridiculously stupid sh*t with one of my co-best friends (we’re both too arrogant to admit we were to co-blame for how ugly it got, sadly), and haven’t seen the other one nearly enough, over these last few months. 

So can we make a deal, please.  A compromise if you will, if only for my sanity, “Champ” … and “Voice of Reason”, although I got no issues with you – I will rig the iPod to have this song come on, when everyone has finally arrived on Sunday.  Can we please, everyone, agree – we’re gonna spend a solid 2 ½ minutes just enjoying the day!  As the perfect description of WHY we enjoy this, plays in the background!  We can even sing along and everything.  DEAL?  (Deal.)

Because even if you never loved “Cheers” as much as Gregg and I did … even Dusty has to know the chorus to this song.  Even my four year old nephew probably knows the damned chorus.

Because the chorus, is Tailgating 101, perfectly summed up in a television theme song:

“Sometimes you wanna go,

Where everybody knows your name!

And they’re ALWAYS glad you came!

You wanna be, where you can see,

Our troubles are all the same –

You WANNA BE where everybody knows your name!!!”

See y’all Sunday.  Not sure what the menu is yet, but we’re gonna have one eclectic group showing up.  My former boss and her husband, kids, and (I can’t wait to meet this dude) her daughter’s boyfriend.  My brother and his far better half, and our good friends Phil and Jenny.  DJ and Kellie.  The “Core 4”.  Anthony and Jaimmie and whoever else shows up.  I know we’ve been talking with Ray and his crew to combine together again like we did for oakland a couple weeks ago (and if he wants to organize another all out fish fry, like the playoff game two years ago?  NOBODY will complain!)

No matter what though – we’re about to enter my favorite week of the year.  Seriously.  The week when EVERYTHING gets put into perspective.  (And I write “the annual column”, my favorite post I, uuh, post, every year.)  I hope to see everyone reading this on Sunday.  We’ll be in our usual spot (grassy lot just north of G30.  Look for two red buses and a white bus, that’s us.)  And look for the hot-as-hell 35 year old in all black, that will be me.  Black this stadium out folks.  Black!  It!  Out!!!