Saturday, November 29, 2014

"the poem", donkeys edition

“The Poem”
Chiefs vs broncos
Sunday, December 1, 2014 November 30, 2014.

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I have a dream,
Dr. King once said,
That one day this nation,
Will see everyone wearing Red.

OK, fine, I’ll grant you,
He never said those words.
But I really hope Sunday night,
We beat those orange wearing turds.

Sunday, seven thirty,
At the Cathedral known as Arrowhead,
The Chiefs take on the donkeys;
Don’t enter this one with dread.

The Chiefs can win this game,
Of that I have no doubt!
Provided you all show up,
To stand and scream and shout.

donkeys or raiders --
We can disagree on who we hate more.
But Chiefs fans, all that matters?
Is that we own the score.

A walk around the hallowed grounds
Of Arrowhead Stadium seems dated.
Or maybe, with The Poem's inspiration in the house?
It just seems ... fated.

To the Arrowhead Overlook,
Where our heroes will enter!
And where the enemy,
Will encounter William “Action” Jackson*.

After cheering the arrival
Of Smith, Charles and Bowe,
Time to turn our attention,
To the next part, of this A+ earning show**.

The first of two trademarked phrases,
That really do say,
How (freaking) ridiculous we were,
Back in the day.

“Because then I stop,
When I spot a car,
That might contain,
My Special Little Star!”

And once we have confirmed,
Five Nine is (most likely not) in the house,
It’s time to turn our attention,
To determining something else.

For the second of those phrases,
Trademarked so long ago.
And this is the one,
That made the Arrowhead Experience, so.

“Then I open the program,
To see who our referee will be.
And I shout out in glee or horror,
“Sweet Jesus!  Ed Hochuli!””

Sadly, Ed’s in Green Bay;
Walt Coleman will be our man.
And like Ed asked so long ago:
“Is that a problem?”

And since this is in honor,
Of friends true, sweet, and great?
I would be remiss,
If I didn’t include some hate.

Because every year for oakland,
A fine young lad would yell
“I HATE YOU FRED!” –
No!  None of us could tell!

Sadly, things have changed;
Some forever, and not for better.
For example, there won't be anyone
Consuming Dr. Pepper.

The crosswalk of Lot N,
Has been ceded to someone new;
Sadly, of its past owners?
The new ones, haven't a clue.

But some things endure forever,
And hating the donkeys is one
Of those things, that no matter what?
Is a helluva lot of fun.

For a few hours on Sunday,
It will feel like the good old days.
Friends, family, really good food --
And the author of "This Poem", baked and/or dazed.

But once the pregame madness is done,
And kickoff is in sight?
The tailgate must – must! – close down,
To “In The Air Tonight”.

Look at the smoke wafting,
Over One Arrowhead Drive!
You'll feel really damned proud,
That you have arrived!

For the beatdown of a generation,
Of these people we all hate.
Chiefs fans?  Get ready;
Stand guard at the gates!

Beat satan!  Beat the fox!
Beat every one of these clowns!
Make every (rear end) donkey fan,
Leave wearing frowns!

Be loud!  Be proud!
This is our time!
Sunday night the Chiefs,
Are going to rise and shine!

On Alex!  On Avery!
On Puff Puff Pass Rush!
Or is that more accurately,
Puff Puff Hash Rush?

On Charles!  On Bowe!
Bring on a legendary night!
And to Eric Berry?
We got you – always! – in this fight.

Oh, one last thing --
When victorious our Chiefs leave?
Pound those columns and scream out loud,
"F*ck the donkeys!"  

Shout it loud!  Shout it proud!
Make clear its meaning!
Because then we're going dancing?
On a (bleep) (bleeping) ceiling!

© Stevo Productions 2014, No Rights Reserved.

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(*: the intentional non-rhyming phrase, in honor of the girl I admire more than any other, in life.  And no, that girl is not William “Action” Jackson.)


(**: true story: Jenni wrote a college paper on “The Arrowhead Experience”.  Her professor did not believe wacko nut-jobs like us, existed.  (Pause).  Damned right that thing earned an A …)

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