"Here you come again.
Just when I'd begun
To get myself together.
You waltz right in the door,
Just like you've done before.
And wrapped my heart
Around your little finger ...
Here you come again.
Just when I'm about to
Make it work without you.
You look into my eyes,
And lies those pretty lies,
And pretty soon I'm wondering,
How I came to doubt you ...
All you gotta do?
Is smile that smile,
And there go all my defenses!
Yeah, just leave it up to you,
And in a little while?
You're messing up my mind,
And filling up my senses!
Here you come again!
Looking better than a body
Has a right to!
And shaking me up so,
That all I really know?
Is here you come again --
And here I go! ..."
-- "Here You Come Again" by Dolly Parton.
--------------------
I don't watch much reality television. For starters, most of it is abject unadulterated sh*t. I don't need to keep up with the Kardashians. I don't need to know who or what a real housewife of "insert insanely rich community here" is. I don't need to know who in America has got talent. And I don't need to see a bunch of ridiculously sexy young singles vying for a rose every week.
(That's true, believe it or not. I'm probably the only person under 45 in this country that can say he has never seen even 0:01 of an episode of "The Bachelor" or its various spinoffs.)
But -- but! -- there is one indefensible reality show I, uuh, indefensibly watch, and that is Big Brother.
My goal in life is to be cast on this show someday. Because let's face it: there is no way in hell that you can possibly name anyone you know, that is better at drinking in the sun with a shirt off, than me. I excel at that.
So here then, is the first Big Brother Power Poll for Season Twenty. I should note three things going in:
(1) this is based on how entertaining the contestant is to me. Not you. It's my site, so I can get away with that.
(2) this is based on how likely it is, that I could form at least a frenemy alliance with said contestant, when I appear on this show someday. And ...
(3) looks count. Especially if you're a chick.
Got it? Good. Let's go.
--------------------
(julie chen voice) BUT FIRST! As I try to do every season I remember to do this Power Poll, I answer the questionaire CBS gave all prospective contestants. I defy you, to find even six houseguests more "qualified" to be on this show, than me. (shinedown voie) I dare you to!
* Three Adjectives That Describe You (And Why):
Disappointment (trust me, my life is a train wreck of Thomas and Friends on top of the bridge proportions); Sarcastic (I think I have a solid sense of smart-ass humor); Loyal (I've never turned my back on a true friend, and never will).
* Favorite Activities:
Sit in the sun and drink, t-shirt nowhere to be found.
Tailgating (which is essentially the prior item, most of the time).
Trivia (was this really ten freaking years ago now?!?!?!).
* What Do You Think Will Be the Most Difficult Part of Living In the Big Brother House:
Easy -- tolerating the nine to ten abject dumb f*ck idiots central casting put in there. Last year's winner (Josh) and I would have been verbally throwing down within twenty minutes. I hate dumb f*ck idiocy more than anything, save for self-righteous hypocrisy.
* Which Past Big Brother Cast Member Did You Like the Most:
Jeff from BB 11; Jason from BB 3; and Derrick from BB 16.
* Do You Have a Strategy For Winning the Game:
No, because if you come in married to something, it'll bite you in the ass.
* My Life's Motto Is:
(5) If you ever find yourself asking what matters more to you, the person or the money, the answer is always the money.
(4) It's never too early for the first drink of the day.
(3) If you ever make a decision, and find that everyone's reaction to that decision is to note "you've have to be mentally retarded or named Stevo to have done that", just assume you f*cked up.
(2) I come from a long line, of sinners like me.
(1) I don't wanna be anything? Other than me.
* What Would You Take Into the House:
As many handles of Weller as allowed.
As many cases of Dr. Pepper as allowed.
My Chiefs Tervis glass to mix those two things together in.
I'm guessing that would last a month, tops.
* A Few Fun Facts About Yourself:
I am (probably) the only pro-life Democrat left.
I once had a "Night That Will Live in Infamy" with a stripper, a cripple, and a chick with a mustache.
I once told Ed Hearn to his face that he was the "son of a b*tch we traded David Cone for".
--------------------
And now, Power Poll 1.0, 2018.
16. Angie / "Rockstar". She terrifies me, if I'm being perfectly honest. She freaking terrifies me. Also, the deal with her hair, dying it ridiculous colors -- reminds me too much of "The Ex". It's not a good look on either "Rockstar" or The Ex, again, if I'm being perfectly honest.
15. Angela. I'm not a New Age / Experiemental Religion type of dude. Hell, I haven't stepped foot in a credible religious service for any reason save a funeral or wedding since my nieces were baptized seven years ago. Not a fan so far. But -- but! -- she is good looking.
14. Steve. Mad kudos for shouting "this will be the Summer of Steve" when departing for the BB House. Everything else about him, not a fan of. Most especially this whole undercover narc stuff. Dude. Some of us need our "rapidly becoming more legal herbal product", and it ain't medicinally legal in Missouri yet. Chill, dude. Chill.
13. Sam. I greatly admire people who let their dog sleep in the bed with them. But God bless, that trailer she lives in looks like it just survived a tornado. And seriously, living in a trailer in your folks back yard? No matter how drunk and/or degenerate my life has become at times, I have NEVER slept in a trailer in my parents back yard. (But you've passed out drunk in their front yard, right?) Hell yes I have. What's your point?
12. Bayleigh. I almost bumped her a few spots because she actually made KCI look like a second world airport. I almost bumped her a few more spots because she's the local girl (she's from Lee's Summit ... which is less than ten miles, from where I am typing this, in South Waldo). Then I realized that she's not only the token angry black chick the house gangs up on by week four to remove ... but she hijacked my (never gonna happen) future daughter's name! How dare you madam! (judge judy voice) That's outrageous behavior by your parents!
(Although I'd spell mine Bailey. And spare me the "Grey's Anatomy! Sweet!" crappy replies -- I have multiple people who can confirm I would name my first son Shea Marcus, and first daughter Bailey Nicole, and it's been that way since those two god-awful weeks in high school when we had to be "parents" to our "precious little one". I mean, come on. Taking care of a f*cking egg for two weeks is going to make you think twice about (h-town voice) rockin' knockin' da boots? (chad ochocinco voice) Child, please!)
(Also, let's all thank God above the condom has never broke, the birth control has never failed, and/or the latest regret in my life, had the common sense to visit CVS or Walgreens (maureen mcgovern voice) the morning after. Because if there is anyone not even remotely fit to be a parent in this life, it's me.)
11. Kaycee. She terrifies me, y'all. A woman's professional football player, tatted up the wazoo to boot. She f*cking terrifies me, y'all.
10. Winston. I got nothing. Which is probably good early on, if you want to win this game.
9. Tyler. Jesus. I mean, what else is there to say. The dude has a palm tree tatted on his ribcage. Not even Vince's tats are that ridiculous. Although, I do have to admit, that, uuh, admitting up front his weakness entering this game is "my brain", was refreshingly honest.
8. Kaitlyn. Those of you who went to high school with me will get this: look at that girls face and tell me that's not Hannah. Tell me that's not Hannah with a cheap spray-on tan.
7. Rachel. As Entertainment Weekly's recap of the premiere noted, the girl from Vegas' last name is Swindler. Sh*t this good don't write itself, folks.
6. Faysal. My pick to win this thing ... if only because I cannot wait for Muslim America to express its' outrage over one of their own screwing and lying and scheming and sexing his way to the peak of the mountain. He ain't waiting for those 72 virgins, that's for sure. I predict he and Numero Cinco will hook up within the first week.
5. Haleigh. Other than the fact she's an Aggie, and not a Horned Frog, she has no discernable flaws I have noticed. If anything, she's four slots too low.
4. Brett. He reminds me of someone who used to be my best friend. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry over that, at this point. Either way, I kind of dig people that are so self-confident, smug, and arrogant to the point of repulsion. (Pause). What? (Pause). No, I don't think that describes me! Why would you ask that?!?!?! :)
3. Scottie. Not even thirty minutes in last night, and he caused a "wardrobe malfunction" because he couldn't control his, uuh, manhood, at hugging a cute girl. (Pause). What? (Pause). Aw hell no, I don't think that describes me! (Pause). Fine. It does describe me.
2. Chris / "Swaggy C". Ranking second is no knock on "Swaggy C". Not even close. It's just that ... well ... how to put this delicately ...
1. JC. ("the voice of reason" voice) You can never go wrong with monkeys and/or midgets!
He's a midget. He's gay. He's from (ricky ricardo voice) Cooba. He's hysterical. He's hands down, one night in, the best initial contestant in BB history. A gay midget Cuban. Jesus, this is gonna be fun to watch unfold!
--------------------
As always, until next time, hey!
(stg. esterhaus voice) Let's be careful out there ...
(cue the greatest tv theme song of all time ... as worked out by me (george harrison voice) all those years ago ... )
Thursday, June 28, 2018
Thursday, June 14, 2018
the third thursday thirteen ...
"So you're dancing on the ocean --
Running fast, along the sand.
A spirit born, of earth and water --
Fire flying from your hands.
In the instant that you love someone?
In the second that the hammer hits?
Reality runs up your spine,
And the pieces? Finally fit.
All I ever needed?
Was The One!
Like freedom feels,
Where wild horses run!
When stars collide,
Like you and I?
No shadows
Block the sun!
You're all I've ever needed --
Baby? You're the one! ..."
-- "The One" by Sir Elton John.
--------------------
True story: I was randomly asked the other day what my favorite place to eat in Kansas City is. The person asking was looking for something other than the "Captain Oats" * options in the room -- she wanted something that a Google search or a typical Uber driver wouldn't spout off, off the top of their head.
So that's this week's Thursday Thirteen: my thirteen favorite "you've probably never been here, but you should" bars, restaurants, and other assorted gathering joints for food, booze, and fun, in our fine metropolitan area. (And not necessarily in that order.)
Enjoy?
--------------------
Allow me to note up front, there's a few choices I had to leave off, because they either (a) no longer exist, or (b) it's been so long since I visited, I can't vouch for said joint anymore.
For example: if you'd asked me to do this ten years ago, Zig and Mac's (Western Shawnee; dearly departed) and Twisters (K7 and Kansas Avenue, Bonner Springs; still standing) would have been on it. Five years ago, Quinton's (Waldo; dearly departed) ** would have topped the list. A year ago, New China (87th and Blue Ridge Boulevard, South KC; still standing) and Coach's (South KC; looking for a new location) would have ranked somewhere.
My way of saying ... this list is as of today. That ... and I have visited each place on this list at least once, in the last twelve months.
--------------------
(*: Captain Oats is Seth Cohen's toy horse on "The OC", and is presumably still hooking up with Princess Sparkles all these years later. Captain Oats is also my way of saying "Captain Obvious". Deal with it.)
(**: you all have no idea how much I miss Quinton's. No. F*cking. Idea. Because its' replacement (Waldo Bar), is about as appealing a place to visit, as a Planned Parenthood. Because in both cases, you just pray to every God you can conjure up, that you never have to step foot in there, more than once in your life.)
--------------------
13. Tim's Pizza.
Location: Shrank and 40 Highway (or basically, Lee's Summit Road and 40 Highway), Independence, MO.
Rationale / Reasoning: other than the late, great Pizza Maker, it's the most criminitely, grousely underrated pizza joint in town. I love Tim's. Cheap, cold beer. Interesting pizza ideas. Usually quick service.
There are two drawbacks. First, they don't deliver. Second, they're cash only. Neither one phases me or our pool / Chiefs watching party group -- we're always good for three or four Tim's Weekends a year.
12. Sutera's.
Location: (essentially) Shawnee Mission Parkway and K7, Western Shawnee.
Rationale / Reasoning: because it's one awesome Italian joint. I used to love the original down in the West Bottoms when I worked downtown (george harrison voice) all those years ago. I was beyond excited when they opened a new location a couple miles from where I lived (brantley gilbert voice) back in the day. And I actually just ate at this place last night, (buffalo springfield voice) for what it's worth. It's still every bit (toby keith voice) as good once, as it ever was.
11. Walsh's Corner Cocktails.
Location: 85th and Wornall, South Waldo.
Rationale / Reasoning: because anytime you can get a damned good burger, fries, and a couple beers, plus tip, and exit at under $15? You have to do it.
Also, Walsh's is a huge Royals bar. That doesn't suck.
Double also, I live less than a mile from this place, as well as Number 6 upcoming ... and less than two miles from Number 3. Location does matter sometimes.
Especially when the beer is cold and cheap.
10. Paul's.
Location: 105th and Blue Ridge Boulevard, South KC.
Rationale / Reasoning: because nobody makes a better burger. And yes, I am fully aware I live in the shadow of Max's. NOBODY makes a better burger.
9. MiDiCi.
Location: 89th and State Line (Ward Parkway Pavilion), South KC.
Rationale / Reasoning: I will grant you up front, it's a bit pricey. And I will also grant you up front, you peruse the menu, and you'll be like "really? Stevo likes this place?"
Fair observations, to be, uuh, fair. But your observations would be wrong. Because I don't like MiDiCi. I freaking love it. Trust me -- you want to try the Shrimp Scampi pizza at least once in your life. You will not regret it. Even if the idea of a Shrimp Scampi pizza sounds like the worst idea in the world.
8. And we have a tie! Because I can't pick between my two favorite breakfast joints.
8a. Rosie's Cafe.
8b. Ginger's Restaurant.
Location:
Rosie's Cafe: 40 Highway and 39th Street, Kansas City.
Ginger's Cafe: 63rd and Woodson, Raytown.
Rationale / Reasoning: Rosie's platters are to die for. Ginger's brings the A1 out with the hash browns *** . You decide; I refuse to.
(***: that is my weird food thingy; I put steak sauce on all my potatoes -- be it fries, hash browns, or even a loaded baked potato. Makes that whole shrimp scampi pizza crave a few spots up look more normal, doesn't it?)
7. Score.
Location: 40 Highway and Blue Ridge Cutoff, Kansas City.
Rationale / Reasoning: great food, good music, and yes, you can actually track how cold each keg is on tap, to decide which one you want to imbibe. Also, this is where we usually "tailgate" for preseason games. Double also, I know the owner; send some business her way and you won't regret it.
6. Chelly's.
Location: 85th and Wornall, South Waldo.
Rationale / Reasoning: because as (tony the tiger voice) grrrrrrrrreat as some of the places on the Boulevard are ... Chelly's more than holds its' own.
My bowling league group used to go to Coach's after bowling most Wednesday nights prior to this season. Then Coach's flooded out last July. We needed a new place. Given that most of us love Mexican, I suggested they give Chelly's a try. By mid-January, we were going every Wednesday.
Try the taco combo with black beans. If only because they make both the way I love them -- the tacos with a fried shell and mozzarella (not cheddar) cheese ... and the black beans with the red onion and cilantro floating on top. Throw in a margarita and a Corona, and you'll be one happy eater.
5. The Daily Double.
Location: 63rd and Woodson, Raytown.
Rationale / Reasoning: well, admitting up front: don't come for the food. Because unless you bring your own, or it's a fundraiser / regular's birthday, they don't have any. But what they do have -- and man, do Sunday nights in the summer and fall rule -- is the best bartender ever in Carla, and the cheapest price on "name your booze here" you're craving you'll ever find.
This is the bar that routinely, a round for the six of us who frequent it (which would be a Coors Light, a Miller Lite, a Mich Ultra, a vodka tonic, and two whiskey and Diets) ... is less than $10, after tip.
(Pause).
I'm frankly stunned this one isn't higher on the list, too.
4. Ollie's.
Location: 31st and Gillham, Martini Corner.
Rationale / Reasoning: it's my favorite bar in Martini Corner, although in the interest of fairness and disclosure, I haven't tried Rock-a-Fire yet, as it just opened two weeks ago. They have really good appetizers, the burgers look great, and after a long day at the office, few things are better than "The Working Man's Friend" -- their happy hour special. A beer of your choice, and a shot of your choice, for $4 and change.
3. BB's Lawnside BBQ.
Location: 85th Street between Troost and The Paseo, South KC.
Rationale / Reasoning: this is the third "local" (as in, close enough to walk home if need be) joint for me on this list. And it's bar none my favorite of those three.
Lindsey Shannon is still somehow, someway, making this place work six nights a week. The music is almost always phenomenal. (BB's signature is live blues most nights of the week.) There's few better ways to spend a pleasant happy hour in the spring and/or summer, than sitting on the "front porch" with a cold beer and some appetizing wings as, uuh, an appetizer.
I get that this doesn't rate first on most folks' BBQ options here in KC. (To be honest, it's not mine either; I'm addicted to Q39's Judges Plate.) But nobody makes better burnt ends than the pit masters at BB's.
Nobody.
Throw in an ice cold Pale Ale or Bully Porter with some slow-cooked beans, and it's no wonder I've put on almost 20 pounds **** since moving to Waldo 18 months ago.
(****: I hit 174 on the scale when I looked a couple days ago. I don't think I've ever weighed in above 170 before. Who knew that removing a stressful job from your life, would restore your appetite for food, and curb your appetite for whiskey?)
2. Fritz's.
Location: I prefer the original (18th and Grandview, KCK) or Crown Center (22nd and Grand, KCMO). There's also one off of Shawnee Mission Parkway and Pflumm in Shawnee.
Rationale / Reasoning: because since so many of my closest friends have apparently decided "forget the condom, I want to own the consequences!" and have started having kids, sometimes, you gotta have a "Kids Day". And there are few better of those than letting the kiddos roam free through Sealand and Legoland down at Crown Center, and then take them across the street to Fritz's ... and see the wonder and awe as that awesome lil' train delivers their food to them.
To say nothing of the complimentary conductor's hat. They'll throw that in for the kids without you having to get through a dessert on top of dinner!
Which I suppose, brings us (brian mcknight voice) back to one.
And honestly, there can only be one choice, to top this week's list.
(And those of you who know me best, know exactly what it's gonna be ...)
1. Grinders.
Location: 18th and Grand, Crossroads District. (I refuse to recognize the new Lenexa location, off 103rd and Pflumn.)
Rationale / Reasoning: it's my favorite joint in town, bar none. The atmosphere is kick ass awesome. (You haven't lived until you've eaten a couple slices of their pizza ... in an airplane seat. Get a couple beers in ya? It will inspire all kinds of questions, trust me.)
And speaking of beer ***** , they have one pretty solid selection on tap and in the bottle. Throw in the weekend concerts that usually occur, featuring artists that track towards my flavor of choice ((espanol voca) Por ejemplo: Senor Ben Harper ha realizado alli varias veces; no tengo excusas! ****** / ******* ), and this is a must for any newbie to KC.
Also, the location is perfect. You're less than a mile via walk or the trolley from Power and Light. You're less than a mile via walk or the trolley from Crown Center and Union Station. You're not even two miles via walk or Ride KC from Martini Corner. And if you drive yourself, there's plenty of parking available by the old KC Star building a couple blocks away.
This is the one place when you visit KC, that you absolutely have to try.
(And if you hate it? Relax. The Original Arthur Bryant's -- and the Freight House Jack Stack -- are both barely a mile away.)
--------------------
(*****: gun to my head, Bully Porter is still the best beer Boulevard makes. Grinders features it.)
(******: Mr. Harper will be at the Midland in mid September. Just sayin'. (new edition voice) Hit me off; I'm game for it.)
(*******: I tried to re-learn Spanish before going to Puerto Rico last summer. (I took Spanish in high school, and learned to be decently functional with it living in Texas for a few years, with a Hispanic dude from El Paso.)
I once again know just enough, to be dangerous ... to myself.
(Note to self: never drop "tu madre hijo de puta" as a "cumplido" at a "camarero inepto y incompetente" in Fajardo "nunca mas". That was definitely "no es bueno para mi" ...)
--------------------
So that is this week's Thursday Thirteen: mythirteen fourteen hidden jewels in the food and beverage service industry in our fine metropolitan area. Anyone can take you to Jack Stack or Hereford House. Give me someone who knows how awesome the western omelet at Ginger's is, or how amazing the lasagna at Sutera's is. Because that's someone who knows KC at least as well as I do.
(Or claim to.)
Until next time, as always: (sgt. esterhaus voice) let's be careful out there.
(Or for our "amigos que hablan espanol": "tengamos cuidado" ...)
Running fast, along the sand.
A spirit born, of earth and water --
Fire flying from your hands.
In the instant that you love someone?
In the second that the hammer hits?
Reality runs up your spine,
And the pieces? Finally fit.
All I ever needed?
Was The One!
Like freedom feels,
Where wild horses run!
When stars collide,
Like you and I?
No shadows
Block the sun!
You're all I've ever needed --
Baby? You're the one! ..."
-- "The One" by Sir Elton John.
--------------------
True story: I was randomly asked the other day what my favorite place to eat in Kansas City is. The person asking was looking for something other than the "Captain Oats" * options in the room -- she wanted something that a Google search or a typical Uber driver wouldn't spout off, off the top of their head.
So that's this week's Thursday Thirteen: my thirteen favorite "you've probably never been here, but you should" bars, restaurants, and other assorted gathering joints for food, booze, and fun, in our fine metropolitan area. (And not necessarily in that order.)
Enjoy?
--------------------
Allow me to note up front, there's a few choices I had to leave off, because they either (a) no longer exist, or (b) it's been so long since I visited, I can't vouch for said joint anymore.
For example: if you'd asked me to do this ten years ago, Zig and Mac's (Western Shawnee; dearly departed) and Twisters (K7 and Kansas Avenue, Bonner Springs; still standing) would have been on it. Five years ago, Quinton's (Waldo; dearly departed) ** would have topped the list. A year ago, New China (87th and Blue Ridge Boulevard, South KC; still standing) and Coach's (South KC; looking for a new location) would have ranked somewhere.
My way of saying ... this list is as of today. That ... and I have visited each place on this list at least once, in the last twelve months.
--------------------
(*: Captain Oats is Seth Cohen's toy horse on "The OC", and is presumably still hooking up with Princess Sparkles all these years later. Captain Oats is also my way of saying "Captain Obvious". Deal with it.)
(**: you all have no idea how much I miss Quinton's. No. F*cking. Idea. Because its' replacement (Waldo Bar), is about as appealing a place to visit, as a Planned Parenthood. Because in both cases, you just pray to every God you can conjure up, that you never have to step foot in there, more than once in your life.)
--------------------
13. Tim's Pizza.
Location: Shrank and 40 Highway (or basically, Lee's Summit Road and 40 Highway), Independence, MO.
Rationale / Reasoning: other than the late, great Pizza Maker, it's the most criminitely, grousely underrated pizza joint in town. I love Tim's. Cheap, cold beer. Interesting pizza ideas. Usually quick service.
There are two drawbacks. First, they don't deliver. Second, they're cash only. Neither one phases me or our pool / Chiefs watching party group -- we're always good for three or four Tim's Weekends a year.
12. Sutera's.
Location: (essentially) Shawnee Mission Parkway and K7, Western Shawnee.
Rationale / Reasoning: because it's one awesome Italian joint. I used to love the original down in the West Bottoms when I worked downtown (george harrison voice) all those years ago. I was beyond excited when they opened a new location a couple miles from where I lived (brantley gilbert voice) back in the day. And I actually just ate at this place last night, (buffalo springfield voice) for what it's worth. It's still every bit (toby keith voice) as good once, as it ever was.
11. Walsh's Corner Cocktails.
Location: 85th and Wornall, South Waldo.
Rationale / Reasoning: because anytime you can get a damned good burger, fries, and a couple beers, plus tip, and exit at under $15? You have to do it.
Also, Walsh's is a huge Royals bar. That doesn't suck.
Double also, I live less than a mile from this place, as well as Number 6 upcoming ... and less than two miles from Number 3. Location does matter sometimes.
Especially when the beer is cold and cheap.
10. Paul's.
Location: 105th and Blue Ridge Boulevard, South KC.
Rationale / Reasoning: because nobody makes a better burger. And yes, I am fully aware I live in the shadow of Max's. NOBODY makes a better burger.
9. MiDiCi.
Location: 89th and State Line (Ward Parkway Pavilion), South KC.
Rationale / Reasoning: I will grant you up front, it's a bit pricey. And I will also grant you up front, you peruse the menu, and you'll be like "really? Stevo likes this place?"
Fair observations, to be, uuh, fair. But your observations would be wrong. Because I don't like MiDiCi. I freaking love it. Trust me -- you want to try the Shrimp Scampi pizza at least once in your life. You will not regret it. Even if the idea of a Shrimp Scampi pizza sounds like the worst idea in the world.
8. And we have a tie! Because I can't pick between my two favorite breakfast joints.
8a. Rosie's Cafe.
8b. Ginger's Restaurant.
Location:
Rosie's Cafe: 40 Highway and 39th Street, Kansas City.
Ginger's Cafe: 63rd and Woodson, Raytown.
Rationale / Reasoning: Rosie's platters are to die for. Ginger's brings the A1 out with the hash browns *** . You decide; I refuse to.
(***: that is my weird food thingy; I put steak sauce on all my potatoes -- be it fries, hash browns, or even a loaded baked potato. Makes that whole shrimp scampi pizza crave a few spots up look more normal, doesn't it?)
7. Score.
Location: 40 Highway and Blue Ridge Cutoff, Kansas City.
Rationale / Reasoning: great food, good music, and yes, you can actually track how cold each keg is on tap, to decide which one you want to imbibe. Also, this is where we usually "tailgate" for preseason games. Double also, I know the owner; send some business her way and you won't regret it.
6. Chelly's.
Location: 85th and Wornall, South Waldo.
Rationale / Reasoning: because as (tony the tiger voice) grrrrrrrrreat as some of the places on the Boulevard are ... Chelly's more than holds its' own.
My bowling league group used to go to Coach's after bowling most Wednesday nights prior to this season. Then Coach's flooded out last July. We needed a new place. Given that most of us love Mexican, I suggested they give Chelly's a try. By mid-January, we were going every Wednesday.
Try the taco combo with black beans. If only because they make both the way I love them -- the tacos with a fried shell and mozzarella (not cheddar) cheese ... and the black beans with the red onion and cilantro floating on top. Throw in a margarita and a Corona, and you'll be one happy eater.
5. The Daily Double.
Location: 63rd and Woodson, Raytown.
Rationale / Reasoning: well, admitting up front: don't come for the food. Because unless you bring your own, or it's a fundraiser / regular's birthday, they don't have any. But what they do have -- and man, do Sunday nights in the summer and fall rule -- is the best bartender ever in Carla, and the cheapest price on "name your booze here" you're craving you'll ever find.
This is the bar that routinely, a round for the six of us who frequent it (which would be a Coors Light, a Miller Lite, a Mich Ultra, a vodka tonic, and two whiskey and Diets) ... is less than $10, after tip.
(Pause).
I'm frankly stunned this one isn't higher on the list, too.
4. Ollie's.
Location: 31st and Gillham, Martini Corner.
Rationale / Reasoning: it's my favorite bar in Martini Corner, although in the interest of fairness and disclosure, I haven't tried Rock-a-Fire yet, as it just opened two weeks ago. They have really good appetizers, the burgers look great, and after a long day at the office, few things are better than "The Working Man's Friend" -- their happy hour special. A beer of your choice, and a shot of your choice, for $4 and change.
3. BB's Lawnside BBQ.
Location: 85th Street between Troost and The Paseo, South KC.
Rationale / Reasoning: this is the third "local" (as in, close enough to walk home if need be) joint for me on this list. And it's bar none my favorite of those three.
Lindsey Shannon is still somehow, someway, making this place work six nights a week. The music is almost always phenomenal. (BB's signature is live blues most nights of the week.) There's few better ways to spend a pleasant happy hour in the spring and/or summer, than sitting on the "front porch" with a cold beer and some appetizing wings as, uuh, an appetizer.
I get that this doesn't rate first on most folks' BBQ options here in KC. (To be honest, it's not mine either; I'm addicted to Q39's Judges Plate.) But nobody makes better burnt ends than the pit masters at BB's.
Nobody.
Throw in an ice cold Pale Ale or Bully Porter with some slow-cooked beans, and it's no wonder I've put on almost 20 pounds **** since moving to Waldo 18 months ago.
(****: I hit 174 on the scale when I looked a couple days ago. I don't think I've ever weighed in above 170 before. Who knew that removing a stressful job from your life, would restore your appetite for food, and curb your appetite for whiskey?)
2. Fritz's.
Location: I prefer the original (18th and Grandview, KCK) or Crown Center (22nd and Grand, KCMO). There's also one off of Shawnee Mission Parkway and Pflumm in Shawnee.
Rationale / Reasoning: because since so many of my closest friends have apparently decided "forget the condom, I want to own the consequences!" and have started having kids, sometimes, you gotta have a "Kids Day". And there are few better of those than letting the kiddos roam free through Sealand and Legoland down at Crown Center, and then take them across the street to Fritz's ... and see the wonder and awe as that awesome lil' train delivers their food to them.
To say nothing of the complimentary conductor's hat. They'll throw that in for the kids without you having to get through a dessert on top of dinner!
Which I suppose, brings us (brian mcknight voice) back to one.
And honestly, there can only be one choice, to top this week's list.
(And those of you who know me best, know exactly what it's gonna be ...)
1. Grinders.
Location: 18th and Grand, Crossroads District. (I refuse to recognize the new Lenexa location, off 103rd and Pflumn.)
Rationale / Reasoning: it's my favorite joint in town, bar none. The atmosphere is kick ass awesome. (You haven't lived until you've eaten a couple slices of their pizza ... in an airplane seat. Get a couple beers in ya? It will inspire all kinds of questions, trust me.)
And speaking of beer ***** , they have one pretty solid selection on tap and in the bottle. Throw in the weekend concerts that usually occur, featuring artists that track towards my flavor of choice ((espanol voca) Por ejemplo: Senor Ben Harper ha realizado alli varias veces; no tengo excusas! ****** / ******* ), and this is a must for any newbie to KC.
Also, the location is perfect. You're less than a mile via walk or the trolley from Power and Light. You're less than a mile via walk or the trolley from Crown Center and Union Station. You're not even two miles via walk or Ride KC from Martini Corner. And if you drive yourself, there's plenty of parking available by the old KC Star building a couple blocks away.
This is the one place when you visit KC, that you absolutely have to try.
(And if you hate it? Relax. The Original Arthur Bryant's -- and the Freight House Jack Stack -- are both barely a mile away.)
--------------------
(*****: gun to my head, Bully Porter is still the best beer Boulevard makes. Grinders features it.)
(******: Mr. Harper will be at the Midland in mid September. Just sayin'. (new edition voice) Hit me off; I'm game for it.)
(*******: I tried to re-learn Spanish before going to Puerto Rico last summer. (I took Spanish in high school, and learned to be decently functional with it living in Texas for a few years, with a Hispanic dude from El Paso.)
I once again know just enough, to be dangerous ... to myself.
(Note to self: never drop "tu madre hijo de puta" as a "cumplido" at a "camarero inepto y incompetente" in Fajardo "nunca mas". That was definitely "no es bueno para mi" ...)
--------------------
So that is this week's Thursday Thirteen: my
(Or claim to.)
Until next time, as always: (sgt. esterhaus voice) let's be careful out there.
(Or for our "amigos que hablan espanol": "tengamos cuidado" ...)
Thursday, June 7, 2018
the second thursday thirteen ...
"Lying beside you,
Here in the dark.
Feeling your heart beat?
With mine.
Softly? You whisper.
You're so sincere.
How could our love
Be so blind?
We sailed on together;
We drifted apart.
And here?
You are by my side!
So now I come to you?
With open arms!
Nothing to hide --
Believe what I say!
So here I am
With open arms!
Hold me and you'll see?
What your love means to me?
In open arms ..."
-- "Open Arms" by Journey ... which had Number Two been done properly, would make perfect sense, for today's post ...
--------------------
I am known for a lot of things.
One of those things -- sadly -- is my utter inability to follow through on vague promises made.
Today's Thursday Thirteen?
Is a look at the thirteen greatest "fails" on this site.
Enjoy?
------------------
13. The Annual Stevo Top 50.
I haven't ranked my 50 favorite songs in five years. Whether that's because nothing has changed ... or I'm just lazy as hell, is open to your interpretation.
(Note: bet the latter.)
12. The Patriots / Chiefs Recap, Week Four 2014.
In my defense, I had one hell of a good reason to focus on a different recap.
And in my defense ... that's all I've got, for somehow failing to relive via typed word, arguably the single greatest victory of the "Fat" Andy Reid era.
(Note: it's not. This one is. Or it's this one, because this is the one that not only rolled back five years of utter failure, but ushered in everything that's happened in these last five years. But still. Epic fail on my part. Either way, the Texans are involved.)
11, The Second Half of 2016's Weekly NFL Picks Post.
What can I say -- for once? I was right. Hey, you try writing after an egoboosting deflating moment like that. Because I couldn't for three months.
10. Part II of "Crossing the Rubicon".
Week Two from 2015. Although in my defense, I'd like to think the "let 'em roam where they want to" approach to parking the Chiefs have taken since that godd*mned f*cking awful September day, was at least 0.00002% the result, of my missive known as Part One of "Crossing the Rubicon".
9. No Secretary Clinton or Mr. Trump Speech Recaps.
For the record, I loved Mr. Trump's acceptance speech, and I hated Secretary Clinton's. Which, in a moment of true irony, was the exact opposite reaction of nearly everyone who opted to vote for Mr. Trump that I know -- all four of my parents liked Hillary's better, with my second mom even noting "I now see what you see in her. She was great (tonight)", and my actual mom noting "if it was anyone other than her, she'd have my vote".
Hang on, there's a wall calling my head for a bashing cession right about now ...
8. No Retrospective on the Scott PioliEra Error.
I tried, somewhat ... but yeah, this isn't what I should have offered.
(For the record, and hang on, let me don some protective gear here ... I wouldn't have fired Mr. Pioli. I'm not upset that Mr. Hunt and "Fat" Andy did ... but I wouldn't have. His drafts weren't nearly as bad as you'd think. And for the record, Mr. Pioli strikes me as someone who, when given a second chance, won't f*ck up and fail. He'll learn from his rookie mistakes.)
7. Nothing -- Not One Word -- From November 1, 2015.
Chiefs vs Lions in London. Royals vs Mets, Game Five. Not one word, on the day that defined one franchise (Royals), and set the table up for the best run of the last twenty years for the other (Chiefs).
God bless it, when I fail? I epically fail.
6. No Recap of Numero Thirty Nine.
Or, January 3, 2016 -- Chiefs held on to beat the raiders, and nearly stole the division from those people, as a seven hour tailgate celebrated what is probably going to be my last great birthday -- the day I turned 39.
Then again, considering the day I turned 16, the Chiefs lost at the Chargers in the 1992 Wild Card Game (0-17), and the day after I turned 21, the Chiefs lost to those people in the single most painful defeat of my life (10-14) ... I'll take no recap and the win for $2,000, Alex.
5. No True Puerto Rico Recap.
I did post what my favorite moment of last summer's trip was, and why.
(And every godd*mned word of that post, has proven truer as time goes along.)
But given all that has happened in the year since?
I might need to revisit this one, before the memories start to fade too far away, to recap.
4. I Failed To Finish The Original Post Today.
For the record, I started it last Friday ... and for the record, we're coming back to it at some point, probably in the next month of Thursdays.
Because the plan was to "honor" my thirteen favorite co-workers, (kenny rogers voice) through the years.
I got through number two.
And then I realized who has to be at number one.
And realized that getting through number one, is going to require way, way, way too much alcohol, weed, and/or powerful narcotic, to deal with appropriately.
As someone far, far smarter than ... wait a second. This is my quote! As I have noted many a time: "my feelings on the present, will never influence my feelings on the past."
Another way of saying, there is no such thing as coincidence.
3. The Decade That ... Failed.
I got through half of the 'aughts.
That was five years ago.
To say nothing of the fact, that we're 18 months away, from having to start that series, for another decade.
2. My Twenty Seven Favorite (Episodes of Television Ever).
I got through four.
That was five years ago.
1. The Annual Column.
It hasn't posted in four years.
And even then, it posted four months late.
--------------------
If you can't admit your f*ck ups and failures? Then you can't learn from life.
I royally screwed up many times on this site over the (gulp) almost ten years of its' existence.
But I've also had some, uuh, triumphs?
Perhaps that will be next week's Thursday Thirteen -- thirteen times I was right?
(Stevo remembers I all but picked Mr. Trump to win the election, on Night Two of the DNC.)
On second thought, I'll probably revisit the thirteen favorite co-workers idea.
Because re-living number one on that post, HAS to be less painful, than reliving November 8, 2016, is.
And sweet merciful Lord Jesus, are those words I'd never thought I'd type ...
Here in the dark.
Feeling your heart beat?
With mine.
Softly? You whisper.
You're so sincere.
How could our love
Be so blind?
We sailed on together;
We drifted apart.
And here?
You are by my side!
So now I come to you?
With open arms!
Nothing to hide --
Believe what I say!
So here I am
With open arms!
Hold me and you'll see?
What your love means to me?
In open arms ..."
-- "Open Arms" by Journey ... which had Number Two been done properly, would make perfect sense, for today's post ...
--------------------
I am known for a lot of things.
One of those things -- sadly -- is my utter inability to follow through on vague promises made.
Today's Thursday Thirteen?
Is a look at the thirteen greatest "fails" on this site.
Enjoy?
------------------
13. The Annual Stevo Top 50.
I haven't ranked my 50 favorite songs in five years. Whether that's because nothing has changed ... or I'm just lazy as hell, is open to your interpretation.
(Note: bet the latter.)
12. The Patriots / Chiefs Recap, Week Four 2014.
In my defense, I had one hell of a good reason to focus on a different recap.
And in my defense ... that's all I've got, for somehow failing to relive via typed word, arguably the single greatest victory of the "Fat" Andy Reid era.
(Note: it's not. This one is. Or it's this one, because this is the one that not only rolled back five years of utter failure, but ushered in everything that's happened in these last five years. But still. Epic fail on my part. Either way, the Texans are involved.)
11, The Second Half of 2016's Weekly NFL Picks Post.
What can I say -- for once? I was right. Hey, you try writing after an ego
10. Part II of "Crossing the Rubicon".
Week Two from 2015. Although in my defense, I'd like to think the "let 'em roam where they want to" approach to parking the Chiefs have taken since that godd*mned f*cking awful September day, was at least 0.00002% the result, of my missive known as Part One of "Crossing the Rubicon".
9. No Secretary Clinton or Mr. Trump Speech Recaps.
For the record, I loved Mr. Trump's acceptance speech, and I hated Secretary Clinton's. Which, in a moment of true irony, was the exact opposite reaction of nearly everyone who opted to vote for Mr. Trump that I know -- all four of my parents liked Hillary's better, with my second mom even noting "I now see what you see in her. She was great (tonight)", and my actual mom noting "if it was anyone other than her, she'd have my vote".
Hang on, there's a wall calling my head for a bashing cession right about now ...
8. No Retrospective on the Scott Pioli
I tried, somewhat ... but yeah, this isn't what I should have offered.
(For the record, and hang on, let me don some protective gear here ... I wouldn't have fired Mr. Pioli. I'm not upset that Mr. Hunt and "Fat" Andy did ... but I wouldn't have. His drafts weren't nearly as bad as you'd think. And for the record, Mr. Pioli strikes me as someone who, when given a second chance, won't f*ck up and fail. He'll learn from his rookie mistakes.)
7. Nothing -- Not One Word -- From November 1, 2015.
Chiefs vs Lions in London. Royals vs Mets, Game Five. Not one word, on the day that defined one franchise (Royals), and set the table up for the best run of the last twenty years for the other (Chiefs).
God bless it, when I fail? I epically fail.
6. No Recap of Numero Thirty Nine.
Or, January 3, 2016 -- Chiefs held on to beat the raiders, and nearly stole the division from those people, as a seven hour tailgate celebrated what is probably going to be my last great birthday -- the day I turned 39.
Then again, considering the day I turned 16, the Chiefs lost at the Chargers in the 1992 Wild Card Game (0-17), and the day after I turned 21, the Chiefs lost to those people in the single most painful defeat of my life (10-14) ... I'll take no recap and the win for $2,000, Alex.
5. No True Puerto Rico Recap.
I did post what my favorite moment of last summer's trip was, and why.
(And every godd*mned word of that post, has proven truer as time goes along.)
But given all that has happened in the year since?
I might need to revisit this one, before the memories start to fade too far away, to recap.
4. I Failed To Finish The Original Post Today.
For the record, I started it last Friday ... and for the record, we're coming back to it at some point, probably in the next month of Thursdays.
Because the plan was to "honor" my thirteen favorite co-workers, (kenny rogers voice) through the years.
I got through number two.
And then I realized who has to be at number one.
And realized that getting through number one, is going to require way, way, way too much alcohol, weed, and/or powerful narcotic, to deal with appropriately.
As someone far, far smarter than ... wait a second. This is my quote! As I have noted many a time: "my feelings on the present, will never influence my feelings on the past."
Another way of saying, there is no such thing as coincidence.
3. The Decade That ... Failed.
I got through half of the 'aughts.
That was five years ago.
To say nothing of the fact, that we're 18 months away, from having to start that series, for another decade.
2. My Twenty Seven Favorite (Episodes of Television Ever).
I got through four.
That was five years ago.
1. The Annual Column.
It hasn't posted in four years.
And even then, it posted four months late.
--------------------
If you can't admit your f*ck ups and failures? Then you can't learn from life.
I royally screwed up many times on this site over the (gulp) almost ten years of its' existence.
But I've also had some, uuh, triumphs?
Perhaps that will be next week's Thursday Thirteen -- thirteen times I was right?
(Stevo remembers I all but picked Mr. Trump to win the election, on Night Two of the DNC.)
On second thought, I'll probably revisit the thirteen favorite co-workers idea.
Because re-living number one on that post, HAS to be less painful, than reliving November 8, 2016, is.
And sweet merciful Lord Jesus, are those words I'd never thought I'd type ...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)