stevo's 2019 nfl predictions: the last place finishers

"There was a time,
When I was so broken hearted;
Love wasn't much
Of a friend of mine.

The tables have turned;
Because me and them ways have parted.
That kind of love?
Was the killing kind.

All I want?
Is someone I can't resist!
And I'll know all I need to know
By the way I got kissed!

I was crying when I met you!
Now I'm trying to forget you!
Your love is sweet?
Misery!

I was trying just to get you;
Now I'm dying 'cause I let you
Do what you do?
Down on me!

Now there's not any breathing room
Between pleasure and pain!
Yeah you cry when we're making love;
Must be one and the same ..."

-- "Cryin'" by Aerosmith.

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Here are your 2019 NFL Season Predictions, broken down into five parts:

Part I: The Last Place Finishers
Part II: The Third Place Finishers
Part III: The Wild Card Contenders
Part IV: The Division Winners
Part V: The Postseason

Also, this is your Week One Power Poll.  As always, 32 is typical New York Jets bad, 1 is typical New England Patriots good.

Enjoy.

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32. Miami Dolphins.
Last Year: 7-9-0, 2nd Place, AFC East.
Prediction: 4-12-0, Last Place, AFC East.

Even after the fire sale, I'm not changing any of their projected victories.  At least Dolphins fans get to take the shirt off and kick the feet up to watch every 37-6 defeat this year.  I wish I could have said that about the 2012 Chiefs and myself.

31. Detroit Lions.
Last Year: 6-10-0, Last Place, NFC Norris.
Prediction: 2-14-0, Last Place, NFC Norris.

What a disaster this is going to be.  At some point, it's not Matt Millen's fault.  #shitorganization

30. Cincinnati Bengals.
Last Year: 6-10-0, Last Place, AFC Norris.
Prediction: 3-13-0, Last Place, AFC Norris.

Sam Wyche and Boomer Esiason ain't walking in that door.

29. Washington Redskins.
Last Year; 7-9-0, 3rd Place, NFC East.
Prediction: 3-13-0, Last Place, NFC East.

Joe Gibbs and Joe Theisman or Mark Rypien ain't walking in that door.  Sadly for Redskins fans, Doug Williams is. 

28. Arizona "Super" Cardinals.
Last Year: 3-13-0, Last Place, NFC West.
Prediction: 4-12-0, Last Place, NFC West.

I actually have the "Super" Cardinals opening 2-1 ... before losing 8 straight.  Still, I have them improving by a game over last year.  #babysteps

27. Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Last Year: 5-11-0, Last Place, NFC South.
Prediction: 5-11-0, Last Place, NFC South.

If it is possible for a team to repeat its' previous season's performance, yet make significant progress towards its' future, this is that team. 

26. Tennessee Titans.
Last Year; 9-7-0, 3rd Place, AFC South.
Prediction: 7-9-0, Last Place, AFC South.

I have every AFC South team very much alive for a playoff berth entering December.  I have the Titans losing 3 of their last 5, and 5 of their last 8, to fall out of divisional and wild card contention, in a division where there really isn't much separation between all four teams.

And ... for arguably the most controversial, (somewhat) indefensible season pick of the season ...

25. Los Angeles "Super" Chargers.
Last Year: 12-4-0, 2nd Place, AFC West.
Postseason: W Wild Card 23-17 (@ Ravens); L Divisional Round 28-41 (@ Patriots).
Prediction: 7-9-0, Last Place, AFC West.

I have the Chargers losing 5 of their last 7, and 7 of their last 10, to collapse out of the playoff picture.  Or, basically, the opposite of a typical Chargers season, where they bury themselves by Halloween, only to rise from the dead by December.  I'm not buying this team, at all.  Injury issues, holdout issues, still not sold on Anthony Lynn as a coach, and at some point, doesn't 15 years catch up to Phyllis Rivers?  And more to the point, at some point, doesn't his 8, 9, 10 kids at home, matter more to him than risking his future on the field?  I think that point is this season.  And I'm picking the Chargers to be the biggest disappointment in the NFL this season.