the final fo'

"Every single time I see you?
I start to feel this way.
It makes me wonder if I'm ever
Gonna feel this way again!

There's a picture,
And it's hanging,
In the back of my head --
I see it over and over ...

I want to hold you,
To love you, in my arms and then?
I want to need you, 'cause I need to?
Be with you 'til the end!

But then I hear myself reply,
You've got to hold it in!
But this time?
Tonight? ...

(If Only!)
I had the guts to feel this way!
(And If Only!)
You'd look at me and want to stay!

(And If Only!)
I'd take you in my arms and say?
I won't go, 'cause I need you --
'Cause I need you now! ..."

-- "If Only" by Hanson.  (Pause).  Don't judge.  1999 was one fun as f*ck year for me ... that, and this song is still damned good, twenty plus years later ...

--------------------

And then, there were four.

In the words of that prestigious law firm that Rebecca Howe worked for, "Emerson, Lake, and Palmer" * ?  "Welcome back my friends!  To the show that never ends!  We're so glad you could attend!  Come inside!  Come inside!"

A week's worth of postings has been building to this: the finale of Chiefs Bracketology (The Race To Crown My Favorite Game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era).  We will crown a champion today, come hell, high water, or death by infectious disease, dammit ** ! 

Anyways, in case you're just tuning in -- welcome!  And here is what you would have missed so far, if you are in that category:

* The Thirty One Automatic Bids.
* The Thirty Seven At Large Qualifiers.
* Bracketology.
* From Sixty Eight to Sixteen on the Right Side.
* From Sixty Eight to Sixteen on the Left Side.
* From Sixteen to 'Fo.

And now, the finale, of Chiefs Bracketology.

--------------------

(*: the "Cheers" finale holds up shockingly well.  Rebecca coming unhinged at the realization she's going to marry a plumber still has me crying from laughter thirty years later.  "Looks like we're not getting any work out of her today. / Yeah, and she doesn't start that 'til noon!".) 

(** ok, probably not in the last case, but still, we're crowning a champ today, dammit!  That, or my name isn't Gumby, dammit!  (Pause).  Fine, my name isn't Gumby ... but dammit, my fingers are hurting from typing this much in the last week!  

In all seriousness -- I have no idea how "Reputable CBS Sportsline Columnist" does this every week.  It's painful.  Typing 30k plus words in a week hurts!  I swear, my hand(s) haven't hurt this much since ... well, let's not go there ... but circa 1999.  I mean for f*ck's sake, I liked most of the boy bands at the turn of the century!  I'm shocked -- shocked! -- there was rarely a girl in sight back then!  (Pause).  What?  (Pause).  Oh hell yes, I can still do every dance move to "Bye Bye Bye"!  I still do that at every Chiefs Tailgate!  And ... I'm sleeping next to a pillow tonight  You think those facts are connected?)

--------------------

The Final Four.

* 4 vs Chargers Week 1 2016 over 1 at those people Week 4 2018.

Believe it or not, this was not a difficult choice for me.  That Chargers game was so damned fun, it actually trumped beating my most hated sports team in their building, while I witnessed it.

And "fun", is what this exercise in typing is trying to resolve -- the funnest game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era.

Also, to be fair, this is definitely the undercard, to the main event.  Larry Merchant *** , Jim Lampley, and Harold Lederman might have scored this upset right but ...

(***: I contend the reason boxing has fallen apart as a sporting event, is due to the demise of it mattering on HBO.  I actually think not only "The Voice of Reason", but Mr. Reason's father, would agree with me on this.  There was NEVER a boxing match on HBO we missed for a solid twenty years.  Sh*t, up to and including PPV.  The late, great "Mean" Gene Okerlund had nothing on the boxing PPV purchases back then.  Again, I know I'm right on this.  Anyway ...)

... but the remaining Final Four game, makes Buster Douglas over Mike Tyson seem reasonable ...

* 2 vs Texans AFC Divisional 2019 over 1 vs 49ers Super Bowl LIV 2019.

Hang on, I might need to get some protection to avoid the projectiles and (indianapolis colts gameday program voice) "missile like objects" headed my way, for this choice.

(And trust me friends, peoples, peepettes, and people more under the influence of whatever, than me right now stumbling onto this: I have made many, many, many, many, many choices in life that are far, far, far, far, far more regrettable, than liking the Texans triumph two months ago, more than the Super Bowl victory a month ago.)

All I can truly say is this: if you were there for that second quarter, you not only get why this upset is my choice, but you can see the path to victory in this Bracketology for the Texans game, from a mile away. 

You want a game for the ages?  You got it -- from down 24 to up 27 in the span of 30 minutes.  You want moments of a lifetime?  You got it -- Dirty Danny Sorenson's fake punt tackle, and not even ninety seconds later, his forced fumble on the kickoff return that Darwin Thompson returned to the six.  You want announcers who actually sound like they're enjoying their job?  I honestly thought Tony Romo was gonna scream himself as hoarse on the call, as I did shouting myself silent inside of Arrowhead that afternoon.

And you want to see Terrorhead at its finest?  Every godd*mned second from Dirty Dan's fake punt tackle, until Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" put the Chiefs up for good with his third touchdown toss to Travis Kelce ... of the last eight minutes.

I tried to convey my feelings about that game ... and pretty much failed, because I just didn't do it right.  Maybe someday I will remedy that, and recap just the Texans game, rather than lumping Houston and Tennessee together. 

But for this post?  Just know this -- I have said for decades that I could die a happy man if the Chiefs would simply bring Lamar's Trophy home once, with me present to see it.  That happened, on January 19, 2020.  Then I noted that I could really die a happy man, if they'd steal that Lombardi dude's Trophy too.  That happened, on February 2, 2020.

Both of those happened within the last three months.

And both of those games?  Lost in this Bracketology, to the game that preceded it, on January 12, 2020. 

THAT?  Is how much the Texans Divisional Game means to me.  Not even the game I denoted as "The Catalyst" (and on that, I know I'm 100% right), not even that game, had a chance against the Titans or 49ers.  The Texans game not only lived up to the hype; it somehow surpassed it in a way few games and/or sporting events I give a f*ck about ever have!

And again, if you need a refresher, this is to figure out my favorite game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era.  Not the best -- clearly that is the Super Bowl, and only a person with an IQ below that of a crash test dummy would deny that.  But favorite? 

Give me the Texans.  Give me 51 unanswered points, trailing by 24.  Give me the raw, pure emotion of Dirty Dan sniffing out the fake punt, of Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" finding the end zone four times in nine minutes down 24.  Give me what the crowd felt like that day (and believe me, if you weren't crying, you have no idea what emotions are).

Give me EVERYTHING that day was, over the game three weeks later, than many of you would have picked in this matchup of epic, fun, "want to relive it forever" Chiefs games!

(Pause).

I suppose it goes without saying, that y'all know how this is going to end ...

The Championship.

* 2 vs Texans AFC Divisional 2019 over 4 vs Chargers Week 1 2016.

The two greatest comebacks in franchise history.  One from down 21 in the second half; one from down 24 in the first.  One matters slightly more than the other, don't you think? 

Oh, and even as a "Sir" Alex Smith apologist (and someone who prays "Sir" Alex somehow, someway, is leading us in "The Chop" on Thursday, September 10th): Mahomes Trumps Smith.  Because of course he did ... and does.  Even Mr. Miyagi knows the mentor eventually is felled by the student.

Winner of Chiefs Bracketology (The Race to Crown My Favorite Game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era): 2 vs Texans AFC Divisional 2019.

--------------------

And so, Chiefs Bracketology draws to a close.  I truly hope you enjoyed this.  There's so much in life right now that drives you to drink, drives you to complain, drives you to b*tch, p*ss and moan in utter and total frustration.  Trust me -- I get it.  As someone who has been mandated to work from home come Wednesday, to adhere to Mayor Lucas' (absolutely correct) decision to shut down gatherings of over 1,000 people (the PennTower complex, plus Penn Valley CC, has more than a thousand folks every day), I get it.  Life is a b*tch sometimes.

I just hope that for a few moments each night, this at least made you think about fun pointless sh*t like ranking Chiefs games, revising epic Chiefs games, debating which Chiefs game best (jim valvano voice) moved our emotions to tears ... you know, anything but the ugliness invading our world at this point, how fun ignoring the obvious can be.

I also hope you had as much fun reading these posts, as I did, uuh, posting them.  This was fun.  This series this week reminded me of what this site used to be like: find something that amused me, crack a few jokes, and explain why said thing amused me.  Sometimes I think my real-life struggles, real-life anger management issues towards certain people, my real-life f*ck ups and failures, tend to drag this place down to a level I don't desire it to reside at. 

My hope in this near year -- this site's 13th! -- is that it return to the fun, interesting, cool read it used to be.  I mean hell, you've already gotten almost as many posts out of me by mid March of 2020, as you got for all of 2019.  Detailing the run-up to the Playoff Games and the Super Bowl was fantastic.  Reliving the funnest, most awesome moments of the last seven years of Chiefs Football has been soul-inspiring.  Love or hate my selections?  Thank God above we HAVE 68 plus games of fun, frivolity, and outright kick-ass football to celebrate!  (Because we didn't from 2006-2012 ... really from 1998-2012, if we're being honest.)

Below is how the final Chiefs Bracketology played out (sorry for the small font, but I had to fit it in one capture, and my monitor is only 20"):

(Yellow highlighting denotes survive and advance.)

--------------------

Oh, and one last thing: don't worry.  I'm not gonna pull a Rany on you.

The best is yet to be ... at least on this site ...

from sixteen to 'fo ...

"She was a be-bop baby on a hard day's night.
She was hanging on Johnny; he was holding on tight.
I could feel her coming from a mile away.
There was no use talking; there was nothing to say

When the band began to play, and play ...

And we danced!
Like a wave on the ocean!
Romanced!
We were liars in love!

And we danced!
Swept away for a moment by chance!
Yeah we danced
And danced and danced! ...

I met my be-bop baby at the Union Hall.
She could dance all night; shake the paint of the walls!
But when I saw her smile across the crowded room?
I knew we'd have to leave the party soon!

As the band began to play out of tune ...

And we danced!
Like a wave on the ocean!
Romanced!
We were liars in love!

And we danced!
Swept away for a moment by chance!
Yeah we danced
And danced and danced! ...

The endless beat; she's walking my way.
Hear the music fade; then she says
Are we getting too close? 
Do we dare to get closer?

The room is spinning as she whispers my name ...

And we danced!
Like a wave on the ocean!
Romanced!
We were liars in love!

And we danced!
Swept away for a moment by chance!
Yeah we danced
And danced and danced! ...

-- "And We Danced" by The Hooters.  Hell yes boys and girls, there was a band named The Hooters back in the day ...

--------------------

Sadly, this might be is the only Bracketology we're getting over the next few months.

So, in case you've forgotten and/or wondered how we've gotten to this point in the Chiefs Bracketology (The Race to Crown My Favorite Game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era), here's some handy dandy links to get you caught up:

* The Thirty One Automatic Bids.
* The Thirty Seven At Large Bids.
* Bracketology.
* From Sixty Eight to Sixteen on the Left Side.
* From Sixty Eight to Sixteen on the Right Side.

And now ... from Sweet Sixteen to Final Fo'.  Fo' sho'!

--------------------

In case if you've forgotten, here is where the Chiefs Bracketology (The Race to Crown My Favorite Game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era) stands entering the Sweet Sixteen matchups:

And to refresh -- we started with 122 games that count (2013-2019 regular and post season contests).  We narrowed 122 down to 68 via auto-bids and at-large qualifiers.  We narrowed 68 down to 42 on Day One; we narrowed 42 down to 16 on Day Two. 

106 games down.  12 more will be eliminated today.  And come this time tomorrow, three more will (queen voice) bite the dust, to leave us my personal (possibly) undisputed favorite game, of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era.

You might want to pour a stiff cocktail or at least a Bud Light Seltzer, for today's thinning of the chaff.  Because there are some tough, tough calls that have to be made.  (Pause).  Hang on, let me take my own advice. 

(stevo going to his freezer)
(stevo grabbing his handle of windsor)
(stevo grabbing his two liter of dr. pepper)

Let's begin.

--------------------

The Sweet Sixteen.

raiders / those people Regional.

* 1 at those people Week 4 2018 over 4 vs raiders Week 14 2016.  I think even Mr. Hill would agree that a left handed throw on 3rd and long (caught by Mr. Hill) for a crucial conversion that led to the game winning touchdown, at fake mile high, against my most hated divisional rival (a team I despise so much, I won't even refer to them by name at this point, and haven't in over three years),

I think even Mr. Hill would agree that Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" left handed chuck tops his punt return.  And considering those are the two plays fueling why these two games reached the Sweet Sixteen, that determines your winner.

(That, and again -- that 2018 contest was the first time I had ever walked out of fake mile high having seen my team win.  The lesson?  That sometimes, your first time is something special, kids.)

* 6 vs those people Week 15 2019 over 2 vs raiders Week 17 2015.  Remember peoples and peepettes, this is not a contest to determine the best Chiefs game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era.  It is a contest to determine my favorite game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era.  If best was the criteria?  The two seed here advances.  If important was the criteria?  Tougher call, as neither game really changed the Chiefs ultimate outcome in 2015 or 2019, but the two seed was probably more important, as the 2015 Chiefs still had a chance at the AFC's top seed and a division championship, while the 2019 Chiefs had already won the West at that point, and needed a miracle to get a bye.  (A miracle they thankfully got.)

Favorite?  Again, a tough call.  My 39th birthday bash (and the epic tailgate that went along with it) against one of the funnest game I've ever had the privilege to attend.  Playing in the snow was just too much damned fun in the end.  Thus, the upset pick.

Potpourri Regional.

* 4 vs "Super" Chargers Week 1 2016 over 8 at Texans Wild Card Playoff 2015.  This honestly might be the toughest matchup to choose a winner in so far.  (And in case you doubt me?  Two of the five longest posts on this site (word-wise), were recapping these two contests: the Texans recap here, the "Super" Chargers recap here.)

In the end, again, it comes down to my personal preference.  I was at both games.  I enjoyed the hell out of both games.  I just enjoyed what was prior to two months ago, the greatest comeback in franchise history, a little more than I enjoyed seeing Brian Hoyer tossed around like a dog's squeaky-squeaky toy by the Chiefense. 

(dude in "hoosiers" voice) "Super" Chargers stay.

(Personal note: I have always freaking loved that Jimmy gives the ball to Ollie.  I have always loved that moment more than damned near any other moment in the movie.  Respecting the last man on the roster, irregardless of what anyone else on the roster thinks of it.  I guaran-damn-tee you, the reason Ollie hit both free throws, was because of that confidence builder.  Also, I love "Hoosiers" irrationally.  (Pause).  What?  (Pause).  Well duh -- Ollie so got laid that night.)

* 3 vs Jets Week 3 2016 over 2 vs Ravens Week 14 2018.  The Ravens game had one great play we'll all always remember: 4th and 9.  The Jets game had at least three plays I still vividly recall off the top of my head: Demetrius Harris' fumble return on a kickoff for a touchdown, Marcus Peters' interception (I forget which end zone it was in, west or east ... pretty sure it was east, 'cause I sit in the west, and I'd probably remember that more clearly if it occurred in front of me) ... and Derrick Johnson being literally drug into the end zone by Mr. Peters, after his interception to score the game's final points.  That Jets game was a clinic on how to play defense in this league -- 8 turnovers, 2 punts, only three points allowed.  Just a remarkable game all around.  It's more than earned its' spot in the Elite Eight * .

(*: believe me -- when we get to the raiders / those people Regional Final?  Every f*cking word in the paragraph above, is going to be exposed as either (a) rank, stank hypocrisy by me, or (b) rank, stank hypocrisy by me.  It's your call, how you interpret my (barack obama voice) "evolved position on the issue".)

All NFC Regional.

* 1 vs 49ers Super Bowl LIV 2019 over 4 at "Shane" Falcons Week 13 2016.  As thrilling (and career-capping) of a performance as the game at the "Shane" Falcons was for Eric Berry ... come on.  It's the damned Super Bowl.  It's not losing to anything less than a playoff game in this Bracketology, and even then, it's gonna take a Duke vs UNLV effort, for the Super Bowl to lose.

* 2 vs Cowboys Week 2 2013 over 3 at Eagles Week 3 2013.  A pessimist could write off the Chiefs easy victory in Jacksonville to open the "Fat" Andy Era as a fluke.  Not even the most cynical could write off the immediate impact "Fat" Andy had on this team, however, after these two back to back contests. 

The Cowboys get the win for really one reason, and that is this: if you sat through the stench, the repulsion, the outrage that was every game in 2012 (and trust me kids, I did -- all eight at Arrowhead, plus one in Tampa, and a planned roadie to those people I refused to attend to end the botched abortion that was Chiefs Football 2012), then that Cowboys game meant a ton to you. 

Because as I noted on the recap of that game, for the first time in over a year, going to a Chiefs game wasn't a chore, it wasn't a pain in my ass, it didn't feel like being drug to Mass on Sunday morning against your will as a kid.  It was actually fun to be there!  And isn't that what sports is supposed to be?  Fun?

God bless it, if you didn't endure the 2012 Chiefs season (and heads up -- 2011 wasn't much better), you'll never understand why "Fat" Andy is so loved in this city, and by this fanbase.  He made Chiefs football fun again.  And "fun" is definitely not a word I attribute to anything Scott Pioli or Coach Asshat or Coach Baffoon brought to the experience, of being a Chiefs fan ... or worse yet, actually attending a Chiefs game.

All AFC Regional.

* 1 vs Titans AFC Championship 2019 over 5 vs Patriots Week 4 2014.  There are only two games capable of beating this year's AFC Championship in this Bracketology.  As great as the Monday Night Massacre was?  It ain't one of those two games.

* 2 vs Texans AFC Divisional 2019 over 3 vs Steelers Week 7 2015.  Yes, I argue (I believe quite persuasively) that the Steelers game was the catalyst for everything that has happened since.  Nothing we've enjoyed in the past four and a half seasons happens, without that victory over the Steelers. 

Having noted that ... gee, how to put this delicately ... got it.

That Steelers game?  Is Doug Collins.  The Texans Divisional Game?  Is Phil Jackson.  The Bulls don't win six titles in eight years without Phil at the helm ... but no matter how true that may be, they aren't in a position to win those six titles in eight years, without Doug Collins building the foundation that Phil built on top of.  Mr. Collins took the Bulls as far as he could (the Eastern Semis).  Mr. Jackson pulled them over the top.  The Bulls needed both to succeed as they did ... but one clearly outshone the other, in the end.  As great as that Steelers game and victory was?  And as important as it was / is to everything since?  It can't hold a candle to the feeling felt before, after, and especially during, that Texans game two months ago.

For once, that's not only an analogy by me that makes sense?  But it's actually defensible!  ("klassy" kevin kietzman voice) Holy hat Batman!

--------------------

The Elite Eight.

raiders / those people Regional.

1 at those people Week 4 2018 vs 6 vs those people Week 15 2019.

Somehow, this worked out.  My two favorite games against those people of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era, and they somehow come together to meet in the Regional Final.  (Again, call bullsh*t if you want, but I did not know how this bracket would play out when I created it.  I wasn't even looking at rigging matchups.  I just wanted to have some fun with this idea.  I think I've accomplished that, even if it is at your eyes' expense via reading this full-on-blazed idea.)

(Note: here comes the "rank, stank hypocrisy" portion of these p*ss poorly posted words.)

There's a reason why I chose games to do this exercise, rather than plays, like Kent "Rant" Swanson did last year at Arrowhead Pride.  (Note: I love that kid's stuff.  And yeah, he's at least 13 years younger than me.  He counts as a kid.  Although I think my hair might top his.  #inflatedego ) 

Because at some point, you have to ask yourself what defines an event more for you: a moment in time, or the full body of work?

I can recall for you Chiefs games that mean a lot to me, because of one moment in time inside of that game.  The 1995 Chargers Monday Nighter.  The 1997 raiders Monday Nighter.  The 1997 home game against those people.  The 2003 home game against those people.  In this category, you'll find the Week 4 2018 game at those people -- a game that to me, is defined by one of the great moments in franchise history.

But I can also recall for you Chiefs games that mean a lot to me, because of everything involved with the GameDay. 

Everything -- and I mean everything -- about October 7, 1991 ** . 

(**: if you need to inquire what game was played on that day, then either (a) you're not the "die-hard Chiefs fan" you claim to be, or (b) you're 30ish years old or younger.  There is no option (c).)  

The Monday Nighter against those people in 1994.  The absolute ass-raping of the defending champion Rams in 2000.  Everything -- and I mean everything -- about Halloween 2004, when the demon known as satan manning finally got what he deserved *** .  New Years Eve 2006 -- when The Immaculate Eight-Fecta paid off.  Tuesday Morning Football against the "Super" Chargers in 2010.  In this category, you'll find the Week 15 2019 game against those people.

(***: my favorite Len Dawson call of all time.  After Greg Wesley intercepted satan to seal the game at 45-35, and begins to return the interception, you hear Len say the following: "oh just get down, get down, just get do -- Jesus!  Nice block!"  Not even the stoic figure that is Len Dawson, could hide his utter hatred of satan manning and the Colts, and his desire for the Chiefs to run up the score.)

Which is why this matchup is so damned hard to pick a winner for.  What matters more: a moment in time none of us will ever forget, even when we're old and senile and our kids dump us in a shady retirement facility?  Or a day that is so memorable in one's lifetime, that none of us will ever forget, even when we're so ill and incontinent that Wilford Brimley's recommendations for Liberty Medical supplies are a major part of our existence?

(Pause).

I think the way to resolve this debate, to pick this winner, is to think back to something I was asked twenty something years ago, and that question is this.  What would you rather have rooted for in the 1990s: the Kansas City Chiefs, a team that posted nine winning seasons, seven playoff berths, were the first team out both winning seasons they missed the playoffs, but never reached a Super Bowl ... or the Los Angeles / St. Louis Rams, a team that posted nine losing seasons, moved halfway across the country because their fanbase didn't give a sh*t about them, who then somehow caught magic in a bottle and won the Lombardi in Year Ten.  Do you prefer ten years of excellence but not quite perfect ... or nine years of sh*t filled baby diapers with a trophy at the end for your troubles?

Twenty years ago, my answer was "Chiefs".  I suppose in some regards, my answer still is that I would want ten years of competence over nine years of Scott Pioli and one fluke playoff run.

But that fluke run through the bracket?  That one play that defines a season, if not a player's entire career for you?  Damn.  It's so f*cking tempting.

It's the apple in The Garden of Eden.

And I'm biting it like (bastardized carl peterson voice) my name was Steve ... except without the s, and without the t.

raiders / those people Regional Champion: 1 at those people Week 4 2018.

Potpourri Regional.

3 vs Jets Week 3 2016 vs 4 vs "Super" Chargers Week 1 2016.

This one is as easy as it gets. 

Potpourri Regional Champion: 4 vs "Super" Chargers Week 1 2016.

All NFC Regional.

1 Super Bowl LIV vs 49ers 2019 vs 2 vs Cowboys Week 2 2013.

Actually, this one is as easy as it gets.

All NFC Regional Champion: 1 Super Bowl LIV vs 49ers 2019.

All AFC Regional.

1 vs Titans AFC Championship 2019 vs 2 vs Texans AFC Divisional 2019.

And this one ... is as tough as it gets.

On the one hand, you have the greatest comeback in franchise history.  On the other hand, you have what should be the most meaningful Chiefs game of my lifetime, to me.

On the one hand, you have a double digit victory at home in the postseason.  On the other hand, you have a double digit victory at home in the postseason.

On the one hand, the Chiefense found a way to shut down Deshaun Watson when it mattered the most, something few thought could be done.  On the other hand, the Chiefense found a way to shut down Derrick Henry when it mattered the most, something few thought could be done.

On the one hand, you have the Chiefs fixing a humbling late game regular season defeat after blowing a huge lead.  On the other hand, you have the Chiefs fixing a humbling late game regular season defeat after blowing a huge lead.

On the one hand, I was there for both humbling regular season defeats.  On the other hand, I was there for both thrilling postseason victories.

On the ... (lee corso voice) aw!  F*ck it!

If you had told me at any point in time prior to January 2020, that bringing Lamar's Trophy home would NOT be my favorite game of my Chiefs fandom, I would have said you were more full of sh*t than a port-a-potty at Arrowhead at pushing 4pm for a noon game.  I would have swore your head was so far up your ass you couldn't see anything but dark brown anywhere you looked.  I would have called you a pathological liar.  I would have said "you clearly don't know me".  I would have ... well, let's move on, before I get a phone call reprimanding me for my four-letter words in this post.

And yet ... here we are.

Because give me that Texans game over the Titans game, and twice on GameDay.

All AFC Regional Champion: 2 vs Texans AFC Divisional 2019.

--------------------

And so, the Final Four of Chiefs Bracketology (The Race to Figure Out My Favorite Game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era) is set:

On one side, you have two incredible regular season matchups that featured epic rallies and comebacks, against hated divisional rivals.  On the other side, you have two of the three playoff games from this past Championship season.

This finish is gonna be fun ... because I still have no idea who is going to win.  I can be talked into three of these four being my favorite game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era ... and the fourth one is my favorite contest against my most hated team in sports -- again, a team I so thoroughly despise, I won't even refer to them by name.

Until tomorrow, be safe, be healthy, and if you can't be either, (the late, great mr. william grigsby voice) please don't take it out on the dog.  Your problems aren't the pooch's fault.  Just grab a handle and a glass, drop some Mountain Valley Spring Water ice cubes into said glass, and pour a stiff one of your favorite libation.

Just like our ol' pardner would have ... and no doubt is still doing, in that great beyond in the sky ...

from sixty eight to sixteen on the right side ...

"I'm a moon walker!
I'm like MJ up in the clouds!
I know it sounds awkward,
But I'm filthy as charged, filthy as charged!

You're a sweet talker,
But darling, what ya gonna say now?
The midnight marauders --
The higher never come down, never come down.

You can't take me anywhere, anywhere;
You can't take me anywhere, anywhere.
I'm still uninvited; I'm still gonna light it!
I'm going insane, and I don't care!

(Whatever they tell you?)
Dancing!  Dancing!  Dancing's not a crime,
Unless you do it without me!
Unless you do it without me!

Oh Dancing!  Dancing!  Dancing's not a crime,
Unless you do it without me!
Unless you do it, do it, do it?
Without me!  Without me! ..."

-- "Dancing's Not a Crime" by Panic at the Disco.

--------------------

(colonel john "hannibal" smith voice) Yeah.  Gotta.



--------------------

In case you're catching up, here is how we have arrived at where we currently are, in Chiefs Bracketology (The Race To Figure Out My Favorite Game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era):

* The Thirty One Automatic Bids.
* The Thirty Seven At Large Bids.
* Bracketology.
* From Sixty Eight to Sixteen on the Left Side.

And now ... From Sixty Eight to Sixteen, on the Right Side.

--------------------

The First Four Matchups.

All NFC Regional.

* vs Redskins Week 4 2017 over vs Buccaneers Week 11 2016.  Both games have a memorable moment I suppose -- the grass across from Lot G caught on fire after the Bucs game as KCFD's finest sat unable to control it ... and trust me folks, there is one epic story to tell, from the walk through the security line to enter the Redskins game.

That story -- specifically one facial reaction and the hate-tinged five words that followed -- is why this game advances to the main field.  Oh sweet Jesus, how I wish everyone reading this could have witnessed that encounter.  I've rarely cried from laughing so hard in my life, after said encounter was over.  I literally had to stop walking down the ramp, I couldn't see, I was laughing and crying so hard at what I witnessed.  Just a priceless moment in life that I more than earned over the prior four years dealing with that person.  (cue the most hate-filled, contempt-filled, absolutely disgusted voice you can imagine, uuh, voice) "I suppose this was inevitable!"  Hang on, I need a tissue; I'm crying from laughter all over again ...

All AFC Regional.

* at Colts Wild Card Playoff 2013 over at Texans Week 1 2015.  Seems simple: choose the painful defeat over a game I barely remember.  (I think the Chiefs won the 2015 opener.  I can't claim I was sober in the stands for this one.  Although I think we had a Ryan Mallett sighting in this one?  Or was that 2016?)

Let's just move on.

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The Round of Sixty Four.

All NFC Regional.

* 1 vs 49ers Super Bowl LIV 2019 over 16 vs Redskins Week 4 2017.  Not even at my stoned and drunkest, is this one seed losing this early.  I waited way too long for this day -- 43 years and 30 days, to be exact.

* 8 vs Vikings Week 9 2019 over 9 vs Seahawks Week 11 2014.  Again, this one seems obvious: pick the game to win, where you don't literally set yourself on fire.

* 5 at Bears Week 16 2019 over 12 vs "Super" Cardinals Week 10 2018.  At least we know Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" can count to ten!  If that doesn't get him a guest spot on whatever the hell HBO has done to "Sesame Street", then I have no idea what possibly could.

* 4 at "Shane" Falcons Week 13 2016 over 13 vs Eagles Week 2 2017.  Both were great Chiefs wins fueled by the defense ... but only one featured in the span of a minute a Chiefs turnover, a "Shane" Falcons touchdown to take the lead by one, a "Shane" Falcons two point conversion attempt, that is then returned by the Chiefs defense to score two points of their own to regain the lead by one ... and the "Shane" Falcons having to kick off to the Chiefs, who proceeded to run out the remaining four minutes and change in this one for the win.

* 3 at Eagles Week 3 2013 over 14 at Cowboys Week 9 2017.  How sweet it had to be for Coach Reid to return to the "scene of the crime", and destroy his former employer, not even a month into his first season here.  At least I thought it was sweet.  Coach probably doesn't focus on hate as a motivator like I do.

* 11 vs Giants Week 4 2013 over 6 vs Lions Week 8 2015.  Both games were Chiefs blowouts by twenty plus points ... but let's be fair here.  Nobody in the KC Metropolitan area gave a damn about that Chiefs game that morning.  For starters, it kicked off at 8am KC time, and believe me, Power and Light was still a mess from the night before when we got down there.  But also, November 1, 2015 will never be a day remembered for the Chiefs playing the Lions in London.  There was a far, far, far more important game involving an occupant of the Sports Complex that day.  So I'm giving the Giants the win by default.  (Not that either of these squads would win in the next round anyway.)

* 7 at Panthers Week 10 2016 over 10 at Redskins Week 14 2013.  Another epic Eric Berry game.  Another matchup where the loser is going to get rolled in the Round of Thirty Two, so there really aren't any winners here.

* 2 vs Cowboys Week 2 2013 over 15 at Rams Week 12 2018.  As fun as that Rams Monday Nighter was (and man, it was fun) ... the home opener of the "Fat" Andy era is just that superior to it.  Kind of like Marty's first game in 1989 against the raiders -- a close, hard fought game against a viable playoff threat, that let Arrowhead Nation know we're done being the division's doormat.

All AFC Regional.

* 1 vs Titans AFC Championship 2019 over 16 at Colts Wild Card 2013.  Duh.

* 8 at Colts Week 8 2016 over 9 at Texans Week 5 2017.  Tougher to pick than you might think.  Had I been able to make that trip in 2017 (note: it is the only Chiefs game in the state of Texas I have missed since 2005 against -- you guessed it: Frank Stallone!  Nah, just kidding -- since 2005 against the Houston Texans), this outcome might have been different.  But that trip to Indy in 2016 was so fun, it had to at least reach the Round of Thirty Two in this Bracketology thingy.

* 5 vs Patriots Week 4 2014 over 12 at Patriots Week 14 2019.  This is your 112-111 triple overtime first rounder that you simply stand and applaud when it's done.  I mean, how do you pick?  One of these is the second greatest MNF game Arrowhead has ever hosted.  (And somehow, the Chiefs won by more that night, than they did on October 7, 1991 ... and somehow, nobody gave a sh*t twenty four hours later!)  The other one not only effectively ended the Patriots dynasty (or so we all hope) ... but was so unexpected by even the Chiefs Team Store, than the dude who runs the joint, an awesome gentleman named Smokey, admitted the following day when I showed up to buy Division Champion gear that "we don't have any Stevo.  I didn't order any.  I didn't think we'd win."  I'm taking the Monday Night waxing over the Foxboro Thrashing because, well, those last two days of September 2014 will always hold a spot in my heart that should be reserved for a person, not two sporting events.  But whatever.  Let's keep going.

* 4 at Jaguars Week 1 2013 over 13 at Dolphins Week 3 2014.  "Fat" Andy's first win of 2013 -- his first as a Chiefs coach -- trumps his first win of 2014.

* 3 vs Steelers Week 7 2015 over 14 at Titans Week 10 2019.  Listen, I loved the roadie to Nashville.  God knows I needed it, after my dad nearly died (again) earlier that week thanks to a botched cardiac surgery.  And if I ever get around to recapping the ten or twelve moments that meant the most to me from 2019 as a whole, belting out "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" by Elton John on the (I forget which) fourth or fifth floor of Alan Jackson's bar on Broadway will be in the top two or three moments of The Year That Was: 2019.  Having said that, NOTHING that has happened since 2015 kicked off, happens unless Week 7 2015 goes the Chiefs way, as written about when this thing really first began to be seeded two weeks ago.

* 11 vs Jaguars Week 5 2018 over 6 at Bills Week 9 2013.  A very tough call.  That Bills win means a lot to me personally, given how I spent the game (a proposition I thought was (not a pun) literally dead three weeks earlier).  But that Jags game ... damn, that was really fun.  I'll let it advance.

* 10 vs Dolphins Week 16 2017 over 7 vs Ravens Week 3 2019.  One game clinched a division championship; the other was a home opener.  I'll take the division winner.

* 2 vs Texans AFC Divisional 2019 over 15 at Patriots Week 6 2018.  The only thing to note is this: would ANY of us have bet, after that Week 6 Sunday Nighter ended with the Patriots kicking a field goal as time expired to win 40-43, would ANY of us have bet, that at best, THAT would be the third best game (in terms of quality / enjoyment / worth the time invested) that season?

(And more to the point, would ANY of us have bet, that all three of the best thrillers the Chiefs would play in 2018 -- at Patriots Week 6, at Rams Week 12, vs Patriots AFC Championship, that the Chiefs would lose all three by less than a score, two as time expired, one in overtime?)

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Before we advance on to the Round of Thirty Two on the right side of Chiefs Bracketology, let's take a quick look at where we stand:

Let's continue.

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The Round of Thirty Two.

All NFC Regional.

* 1 vs 49ers Super Bowl LIV 2019 over 8 vs Vikings Week 9 2019.  Damien Williams from 38 trumps Harrrison Butker from 43.  Sorry, it just does.

* 4 at "Shane" Falcons Week 13 2016 over 5 at Bears Week 16 2019.  A far easier call than I expected it to be.

* 3 at Eagles Week 3 2013 over 11 vs Giants Week 4 2013.  Three of the four in this sub-regional, were played in back to back to back weeks.  All were Chiefs victories.  All I loved for different reasons -- and clearly, all were in my top 25% of Chiefs games in the "Fat" Andy Reid Era.  The Eagles trump the Giants because it was "Fat" Andy returning to his former home.  The Giants was the better game.  The Eagles made me happier.  And that is what this exercise in stupidity is all about, right?  Determining my favorite Chiefs game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era.

* 2 vs Cowboys Week 2 2013 over 7 at Panthers Week 10 2016.  It was the dawning of a new era of Chiefs football in so many ways (some of them good, some of them not so much) ... but most especially the most important one: re-establishing Arrowhead as the Terrorhead I've always known it to be ... at least since I was in fifth grade.

All AFC Regional.

* 1 vs Titans AFC Championship 2019 over 8 at Colts Week 8 2016.  Even a blind man in a fish market could identify the winner here ... even if he has to shout "good morning, ladies!"  (Note: that song played a lot -- and I mean, a lot -- on that roadie to Indy three seasons ago.  Why?  Because the four of us couldn't get enough of it.  "Good morning, ladies!"  And to think people wonder why I spent half of my 20s and most of my 30s stoned.)

* 5 vs Patriots Week 4 2014 over 4 at Jaguars Week 1 2013.  Damn.  Arguably the two biggest games of "Fat" Andy's first two years here ... and somehow, they meet up in the Round of Thirty Two.  Damn.  (florida evans voice) Damn, damn, damn!  (Throw Punch Bowl Here.)

(And also, spare me the "you're just mocking "Good Times" crap.  This is my favorite sitcom of all time -- so much so, I recapped my favorite episode of it.  Sh*t, I so enjoy this show, I drug multiple friends to Stanford and Sons back in the day on my dime, when Jimmy Walker was your headliner on a Friday night!  (damien voice) Don't remind me.  Please -- don't remind me!.

(Pause).  Yeah, gotta.

(jimmy "jj" walker voice) read it and enjoy, because b*tch and or fight?  You have to admit -- this show is just (clap!) Dy-No-Mite!!!!!)

* 3 vs Steelers Week 7 2015 over 11 vs Jaguars Week 5 2018.  The Catalyst survives and advances.

* 2 vs Texans AFC Divisional 2019 over 10 vs Dolphins Week 16 2017.  This regional final is going to be so bat sh*t crazy, bats might think this thing is crazy.

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And so, after Day Two, here is how the right side of Chiefs Bracketology (The Race to Crown My Favorite Game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era) stands:

In a slight surprise to me, the only bracket to hold true to expected form so far is the All NFC Regional ... which is the one regional where the winner was determined long, long, long before this exercise in wasting work resources ... I mean, very, very, very important look at the last seven years of Chiefs contests, began.  Go figure, it's the only one with the one, two, three, and four seeds advancing.  And really, upon third glance, I'm not sure the one seed should feel as confident as it did when this pointless exercise first popped into my head a month ago.  Whoever emerges from that two / three matchup (and man, that's gonna be one tough call) has at least a puncher's chance against the one seed.

In the All AFC Regional, we have as close to form as you can get without living to seed expectations.  The one, two, three and five all emerged, and really, if we're picking nits here, I probably should have had that Patriots Monday Nighter seeded fourth, and the Jags season (and "Fat" Andy Era) opener seeded fifth, so that really isn't an upset in my mind.

Anyhoo, tomorrow we will see Day Three of Chiefs Bracketology.  Day Three will trim the fat from the Sweet Sixteen to the Final Four.  We will be down to four by the time I reach peak intoxication ... I mean, peak prognosticating form, tomorrow evening.

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And those four are coming out of these sixteen remaining squads:

If we were assigning announcers to this thing, you'd have to put Jim Nantz, "Mr." Bill Raftery, Grant Hill, and Tracy Wolfson in the All AFC Regional -- it's clearly the most loaded one left.

From pure bias, give me Kevin Harlan, Reggie Miller, and Dana Jacobson in the raiders / those people Regional, because we all need Kevin Harlan to be allowed biased, bigoted commentary once again when it comes to those people and / or the raiders.  ("Not even Santa Claus can save the denver broncos today!")

Give me Ian Eagle, Jim Spanarkle, and whatever bimbo they assign to the sidelines, for the All NFC Regional.  (And yes, I know Ian calls AFC games for CBS ... but the man is the voice of the Brooklyn Nets, and as someone who has fallen asleep to many a NBA League Pass telecast, I've had Ian Eagle in my dreams a few times.  (Shaddup!)

And finally, for the Potpourri Regional, gee, I dunno ... I guess give me Brian Anderson, Chris Webber, and Allie LaForce, if only so that "Big!  Bigger!  Webber!" can somehow become a part of this thing * .

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(*: anytime a sixteen year old kid can wear a t-shirt of his favorite player, and one of the descriptors on it notes that said player wears baggy shorts because "they gotta have room to breathe", you have to do it.  That thing is still my favorite t-shirt I have ever owned, and I would kill to have that t-shirt again.  And that is not a joke.

Oh, and via Google, here is what the front of this amazing, awesome shirt looked like:

(the great anthony j. bruno voice) beautiful.)

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And with that, Day Two of actual Bracketology play, draws to a close.  We've gone from eliminating fifty four non-considered games, to knocking out another fifty two via Chiefs Bracketology, in less than forty hours.  Yo -- Mark Emmert?  THIS is how you run a tournament!

Somehow, 106 out of 122 games that matter in the "Fat" Andy Reid Era are done and over.  This is when this exercise gets fun.

Especially because (and call bullsh*t if you want, but you'd be wrong) I have no f*cking idea who is going to win this thing.  No, really -- I don't.  That's the whole point in doing this!

--------------------

I freely admit I know who is winning the All NFC Regional (hint: it's the one seed) ... but my God, the other three regionals?  A total crapshoot still ... especially the All AFC Regional.

I have no idea how I'm eliminating ANY of those four games left in that Regional!  How do you pick between ...

* Bringing Lamar's Trophy home for the first time.
* The Greatest Comeback in Franchise History.
* The Catalyst to EVERYTHING that has happened in the last five years.
* An ass-kicking so severe all Coach Hoodie could say was "On To Cincinnati"

I mean, let that sink in.  You can argue these should be the final four period, irregardless of any of the other 118 games considered for this Bracketology.  You can credibly argue these should be my favorite four games of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era.  And they're all in the same regional final.  Meaning only one of them has a shot at winning this thing.

(I would like to think that exposes the lie, that this was a biased, bigoted, "every odd against it" outcome Bracketology.  I truly had no idea what game I'd pick entering this thing.  If I had known?  You really think I'd pick four of the five biggest Chiefs wins of the last seven years (the other being the Wild Card Game at Houston in 2015 Super Bowl Win over the 49ers), and thrown them in the same bracket, to eliminate each other?  In the words of Chad Ochocinco: "child, please!"  Or in the words of me: "dislodge your head from your ass dude; I'm not that smart (to cause this to happen)!")

Simply put: three of the four left in the All AFC Regional?  Won't reach the Final Four, let alone win this thing!  I swear, the 1990-1996 NFC just called, and they want their playoff bracket back.

Oy.  Maybe I should have thought this thing through better, and pulled a kids league thingy where everyone gets a participation trophy.

I might actually lose sleep over the All AFC Regional.

I never envisioned that, when this exercise started ...

from sixty eight to sixteen on the left side ...

"You say you've turned it off;
Hid your heart upon a shelf.
Scared of what it might cost,
To take it down for someone else.

'Cause loving him?  You lost
Too much of yourself.
Baby?  Can't you see?
That he's?  Not me!

And I need you to know?
You can fall into me!
That my arms are wide open,
And will always be!

Right here waiting, staying strong --
Come and fall into me!

I'll follow any road;
Anywhere to get to you.
I'll open up my soul,
If that's what you need me to do.

Now baby it's your move;
All you've got to do,
Is just believe in love --
Just believe in us!

And I need you to know?
You can fall into me!
That my arms are wide open,
And will always be!

Right here waiting, staying strong --
Come and fall into me! ..."

-- "Fall Into Me" by Emerson Drive.  (Pause).  What?  (Pause).  Well yeah, I'm sick of looking for dance songs to use as the theme, and this is what popped up on my iPhone playlist!  What's your point?

--------------------

(dr. nick riviera voice) Hi everybody!  (Pause).  What?  (Pause).  Well yeah, but you name a medical professional with a better catch phrase!  I keep waiting for Devon * to get his sh*t together and come up with something lovable on "The Resident", but after three years, it probably ain't happening.

Anyways, today we're gonna knock out some of the left side of the bracket -- we're going to get the raiders / those people Regional and the Potpourri Regional down to their Sweet Sixteen teams.  Tomorrow we'll knock the All NFC Regional and All AFC Regional down to their Sweet Sixteen teams.  Thursday hopefully we'll get this down to the Final Four, and end this thing on Friday with a celebration of my four favorite (or four of my favorite, anyway) Chiefs games of the last seven years.

--------------------

(*: he might have in tonight's episode ** .  "This isn't over!" / (looking completely defeated) "Yeah, it's not".  Wait -- that's not really the quote I was going for.  The poor guy is still batting less than .100 ... but at least he got to hook up tonight with someone other than that crazy ass fiance he dumped, and the even more bat sh*t crazy medical rep Julian.  Progress!  Also, I love "The Resident" way too much.  I'm telling you, my Tuesdays are loaded -- "The Conners", "Bless This Mess", "The Resident", "NCIS", and now seven straight months of politics.  Pray for my DVR folks.  It needs it.)

(**: the fact that the primary plot on tonight's "The Resident" was focused on a brilliant person who cannot properly function in her job, without being at least buzzed, if not outright intoxicated?  I've said it before, and I'll say it again: every great show on television, is poaching my real life!)

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In case you missed it, here's how the field was arrived at:

* The Thirty One Automatic Bids.
* The Thirty Seven At Large Bids.
* Bracketology.

(late 1980s nbc announcer voice) And now, Chiefs Bracketology (The Race To Figure Out My Favorite Game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era), begins for real.

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The First Four Matchups.

raiders / those people Regional.

* vs raiders Week 13 2019 over at those people Week 11 2013.

Both matchups featured a road underdog entering the contest on a roll, looking to establish themselves as a viable threat to the crown the home team held -- the AFC West Championship.

Both matchups saw the road team get absolutely dominated in a nationally televised contest, proving that said road team wasn't quite yet ready to assume the position atop the division.

Given that the Chiefs were the home team in 2019 (a 40-9 ass kicking of the raiders that wasn't even that close), and the road team in 2013 (a 17-27 defeat at fake mile high that ended the winning streak at nine), I had to pick the game the Chiefs won, to, uuh, win and advance.

* Potpourri Regional.

* vs Patriots AFC Championship 2018 over vs Texans Week Six 2019.

Seems like a no-brainer -- pick the defeat that hurt worse, over the one that barely registered.

--------------------

The Round of Sixty Four.

raiders / those people Regional.

* 1 at those people Week 4 2018 over 16 vs raiders Week 13 2019.  As my buddy Pickell would note: "put it this way" -- the number one overall seed in this tournament is not losing in the first round.  Virginia's not walking through that door anytime soon.  I can promise you, few walks back to the car after a game have felt better, than lighting up that Macanudo Maduro exiting fake mile high, and blowing the sweet aroma of victory into the faces of every one of those people's fans I had the misfortune to encounter.  #neverdenver  #never

* 9 at those people Week 12 2016 over 8 at raiders Week 13 2015.  Two gigantic late November / early December roadies that helped ensure the Chiefs made the postseason.  In the end, "The Doink" trumps DJ's destructive hit of derek carr ... barely.

* 12 at those people Week 17 2017 over 5 vs raiders Week 6 2013.  The Week Six battle against the raiders is a deeply, deeply personal game for me.  And not just because I had to bail a friend out of Chiefs jail.  (Yes, folks -- there is a Chiefs jail.  Somehow, I've never been in it.  Which makes it what, the only one in our fine metropolitan area to not at least offer me a room with bars and take my shoelaces away for a night?)  And not just for the 3rd and 48 either, arguably the most ridiculous defensive moment in Chiefs history.  (It should have been 3rd and 58 -- the raiders got away with a blatant hold on 3rd down.)

And yet, as much as that Week Six victory means ... yeah, right.  Like it's topping Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" first regular season start.  Your classic 5/12 upset we get at least one of every March, in the real tournament.

* 4 vs raiders Week 14 2016 over 13 at those people Week 7 2019.  A battle of Thursday nighters, one of which determined who won the AFC West (while the loser got their ass handed to them by "Brave" Brock Osweiler in the Wild Card game).  I'll take Arrowhead exploding with "Ty!  Reek!" chants as he fielded the punt, over my vomiting where I stood, watching Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs"' knee popped back into place.

* 3 vs those people Week 16 2016 over 14 at raiders Week 15 2013.  One of these games featured Jamaal Charles scoring so many touchdowns, team tito actually won the Cayman Cup.  The other one featured "Fat" Andy Reid with one of the great "f*ck you -- no really, f*ck you!" gestures ever extended towards those people: putting in Dontari Poe at quarterback, with two minutes to play in a game the Chiefs led by twenty plus.  I still remember when the huddle broke, that I grabbed Chase (the dude who sits next to me) and screamed "Poe's at QB!  They're shoving this straight up those f*ckers' asses!"  Which is exactly what "Fat" Andy and Doug Pederson did: Dontari Poe to Demetrius Harris, as a powerless donkey defense could only bend over, assume the position, and take the business.  God bless it, I so love everything about this game, this night.  If a three seed sneaks through this thing to (ryan lefebvre voice) punt beyond its expected coverage, this is likely your three seed that does it.

* 6 vs those people Week 15 2019 over 11 vs raiders Week 14 2017.  This might be the toughest pick for me in the Round of Sixty Four.  I irrationally love both games.  One of the greatest, gutsiest stands in franchise history, to save the 2017 season before it rapidly collapsed on the Chiefs ... versus one of the funnest, awesomest, (ronnie milsap voice) "I wouldn't have missed it for the world!" weather contests, as a foot plus of snow descended upon Arrowhead that magical Sunday three months ago.  In the end, a snow game trumps throttling the raiders with the (regular) season on the line ... barely.

* 10 at raiders Week 2 2019 over 7 at those people Week 10 2015.  God bless, how do you pick in this one?  The day the Chiefs damned near ended satan manning's career (4 INT's, 0.00 QBR, left "hurt" with an undisclosed injury) ... or closing down the Real Black Hole with a twenty-eight point unanswered comeback?  (Closing down the Real Black Hole.  Duh.)

* 2 vs raiders Week 17 2015 over 15 vs those people Week 8 2017.  Not picking a prime time ass-kicking of those demonic in-dwelt people is surprising, even to me ... but come on, my 39th birthday bash, with so much that was on the line to close the 2015 season (AFC West championship, AFC home field advantage), has to win.  Plus, it was one hell of a birthday bash.  Even if the "Super" Chargers fell just short of the upset the 2015 Chiefs needed, to control their own AFC destiny.  (And what a great "what if" that would have been -- what if the "Super" Chargers hit the late field goal to beat those people, and the road to New Jersey ran through Arrowhead instead of fake mile high?)

Potpourri Regional.

* 1 vs Colts AFC Divisional 2018 over 16 vs Patriots AFC Championship 2018.  Seems pretty obvious, right?  The first home playoff victory since I was a junior in high school, trumps one of the five most painful Chiefs defeats of my lifetime *** .

(***: my five most painful defeats (and I am 43 years and change old): (5) vs those people, Week Seven 2002.  I literally locked myself in my room for three days after this debacle.  (4) at Colts, Wild Card Playoff 2013.  (3) vs raiders, Week Seventeen 1999.  The greatest sports "what if" of my life so far ... even if that post needs serious updating.  (2) vs Patriots, AFC Championship 2018.  (1) vs those people, AFC Divisional Playoff, 1997.  In case you doubt bad thing happen to the Chiefs on my birthday?  Not one, not two, but THREE of these f*cking contests, occurred on the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th of January (aka "my birthday weekend).  None of them hurts more than losing the de facto Super Bowl on my 21st birthday to those people though.  And I'm not sure any defeat will ever top that.  Which might be a good thing?)

* 8 at Texans Wild Card 2015 over 9 vs Saints Week 7 2016.  I honestly feared for years this might be the high water mark of my Chiefs fandom.  Then came the Draft Pick that changed everything ...

* 12 vs Texans Week 7 2013 over 5 at Steelers Week 2 2018.  I stand behind my belief that the 4th Quarter of that Texans game, is the single greatest performance in a 4th Quarter by a Chiefs defense ever.  Also, that was the game when it finally began to dawn on most Chiefs fans that 2013 was the start of something amazing, not just a one-off fluke like 2010 was.

* 4 vs "Super" Chargers Week 1 2016 over 13 vs 49ers Week 3 2018.  Even if this was a contest of moments -- as in, pick the one defining moment of that GameDay -- I still think "Sir" Alex Smith screaming "f*ck yeah!  F*ck yeah!" as he fist bumped and fist pumped his way around the west end zone after authoring what was (at the time) the greatest comeback in franchise history, would trump "And at Quarterback ..." and the massive crush of sound and emotion those three words, followed by a fired up 15 entering the swarm of teammates and Red Coaters, for his first real introduction to Chiefs Kingdom.  Emphasis on "think".  I wouldn't wager on it.  (Pause).  What?  (Pause).  Well of course I'd wager on it!  I make bets on those halftime deals where delusional glory-tripping parents throw their tots out there to race for a toy across the court for Christ's sake!  I bet on frisbee dogs for crying out loud!  There is nothing in life you cannot gamble on or tailgate!

But still.  Greatest comeback in franchise history (pre 2019) trumps an ass kicking of Jimmy G.  That I am sure enough to bet on.

* 3 vs Jets Week 3 2016 over 14 vs "Super" Chargers Week 15 2017.  Both games were played in the rain.  Both games wound up having a monumental importance in the Chiefs winning the AFC West when the seasons ended.  But only one saw eight -- eight! -- forced turnovers by the Chiefs D, and three defensive / special teams scores by said Chiefs.  And that wasn't the "Super" Chargers contest.

* 6 vs Bengals Week 7 2018 over 11 vs Browns Week 16 2015.  The Browns game was so cold, I left at halftime.  The Bengals game was such a joke, Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" was leading the masses in "Sweet Carolina Caroline".  If this was a tournament game, this would be a 95-60 ass kicking of Biblical proportions that causes everyone to overrate the six seed ... before the pendulum swings back in 48 hours.

* 10 at Patriots Week 1 2017 over 7 at "Super" Chargers Week 17 2016.  Back to back regular season contests, with the "no touchdown / holding 72" playoff defeat in between.  Tough call.  The 2016 finale was the final game at The Q.  The 2017 opener was "Fat" Andy Reid establishing once and for all what a brilliant mind can do with against "the greatest coach of all time".  (And please -- greatest coach of all time?  Come on.  Chuck Noll would whip Belichick's ass eight ways from Sunday, even on Ol' Pete King's proverbial neutral field in Wichita.)

Anyways, I took beating the Patriots because it was whipping the defending champs in their house, with the eyes of the nation watching.  But this wasn't arrived at lightly.

* 2 vs Ravens Week 14 2018 over 15 vs Packers Week 8 2019.  4th and 9.  There are many, many things I enjoy about sitting where I do (Section 132, Row 26, Seat 14 ... formerly 132, 26, 2, (brantley gilbert voice) back in the day).  For starters, you make friends that not only last a lifetime, but they become your adopted and extended family **** .  But also, so many huge plays have happened in the west end zone over the decades ... and when you're really lucky?  You get to watch the play unfold right in front of you in real time.  That's the 4th and 9.

When the Chiefs broke the huddle, my Second Mon grabbed me by my sweatshirt, and buried her head, saying "I can't look".  (It's something that's happened many times over the decades past.)  When Tyreek made the catch -- and I could see this thing unfold in slow-motion in front of me, I swear -- I just started jumping uncontrollably and screaming "holy f*cking sh*t!  He f*cking caught it!  He f*cking threw it!  He ... holy f*cking sh*t!"  (nba promo voice) Chiefs!  Ravens!  Where Stevo dropping four letter bombs and the 'rents being OK with it happens!

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(****: have to love that the Chiefs always give me an "upgrade day" I never take advantage of.  This year's upgrade day appointment?  2:15pm on Tuesday, March 17th.  (stevo sighing in disgust)  Really, Chiefs?  Really?  You really think I have no other possible plans for 2:15pm on March 17th?  I doubt I'll be able to spell my name, let alone know it, by 2:15pm a week from today!  #alcoholicnation )

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Before we advance on to the Round of Thirty Two on the left side of Chiefs Bracketology, let's take a quick look at where we stand:

Let's continue.

--------------------

The Round of Thirty Two.

raiders / those people Regional.

* 1 at those people Week 4 2018 over 9 at those people Week 12 2016.  Oh sweet Jesus, what a tough one.  Two epic comebacks.  Two amazing, incredible plays that were your de facto winners (The Left Handed Throw; The Doink).  Two games that, via victory, saw the Chiefs all but end those people's season.  Really, the only reason why Week 4 2018 wins is that I was there for it, while I watched the Week 12 2016 game at the Second Parents' house.  Sometimes, being there in person makes a game even that much more special.  Trust me -- October 1, 2018, was one special night.

* 4 vs raiders Week 14 2016 over 12 at those people Week 17 2017.  Another one where attendance in person determined the winner.  If you were there that magical Thursday night three years ago, you'll always remember "Ty!  Reek!  Ty!  Reek!  Ty!  Reek!" just before he took it to the house, to blow the game wide open and put the Chiefs in the drivers seat for their first divisional championship in six years.  (Also, the tailgate from that Week 14 2016 game is amongst our four or five greatest ever -- the good folks at Breckenridge Brewery sponsored it for us.  Over $1,000 in free beer, vodka, whiskey, gin, and merch, including "The Shotski" we still employ.  Ain't we lucky we got 'em?  Good Times!!!!!!)

* 6 vs those people Week 15 2019 over 3 vs those people Week 16 2016.  Our first stunner, peoples and peepettes.  I honestly expected Week 16 2016 (aka "Christmas Night Football") to at least reach the regional final.  But -- but! -- how can you top The Snow Game 2019?  That was so much damned fun.  Plus it handed drew lock the first of dozens of defeats he'll suffer at the Chiefs hands over the next decade or two.

* 2 vs raiders Week 17 2015 over 10 at raiders Week 2 2019.  My buddy "Sir" Thomas is the biggest raiders fan I (or you) will ever meet.  The 2019 contest saw "Sir" Thomas storm off out of The Garage at halftime, never to be seen again that weekend.  (He even blew off the post-party at The Eastway, which is unheard of for "Sir" Thomas -- especially since it was my turn to pick up the tab.)  The 2015 contest saw "Sir" Thomas swear he'd never set foot in Kansas City again.  (He's never failed to make a raiders game since, and usually makes a pool trip and a Yankees trip each summer as well.)

That 2015 raiders finale was something really damned special, and holds a very, very, very fond place in my heart ... and is gonna be one tough out in this thing.

Potpourri Regional.

* 8 at Texans Wild Card 2015 over 1 vs Colts AFC Divisional 2018.  (Pause).  Yeah, gotta.

(nick bakay voice) Ladies and gentlemen, what an honor, what a privilege, it is to bring you this week's matchup!  In the east corner, weighing in with a 30-0 mark, and a generation of Chiefs playoff hopes and dreams on its' back, it's the eighth seeded Texans Wild Card Game from 2015!  And in the west corner, weighing in with a 31-13 mark, and a generation of Chiefs playoff hopes and dreams on its' back, it's the top seeded Colts Divisional Round Game from 2018!

Yes folks, it's time to play ... the Tale O' The Tape!  Seven questions of great significance, three possible outcomes to each question, two valid contenders ... but only one (disputed) champion!

Question One: victory was the first Chiefs road playoff win since 1993.

at Texans: yes.
vs Colts: no.
Advantage: Texans.

Question Two: victory was the first Chiefs home playoff win since 1993.

at Texans: no.
vs Colts: yes.
Advantage: Colts.

Question Three: the Chiefs lost their next playoff game, to the Patriots.

at Texans: yes.
vs Colts: yes.
Advantage: push.  There are no winners here.

Question Four: Major "Housing Crisis" I Endured After the Game.

at Texans: no water / plumbing for (at) three days.
vs Colts: no power for four days.
Advantage: push.  Believe me -- there were no winners here.

Question Five: Best Song About the Place (with Preferred Artist).

at Texans: "Houston" by the Gatlin Brothers.
vs Colts: "Back Home Again in Indiana" by the late, great Mr. Jim Nabors.
Advantage: Colts.  Few things get to me more emotionally, than "when I dream about the moonlight on the Wabash", as 325,000 plus of my closest friends cheer a balloon launch.  That, in the words of the late, great Mr. Hugh M. Hefner: "that is something ... REALLY special!"

Question Six: My Record Attending a Game Against Them in the "Fat" Andy Era.

at Texans: 4-2-0 (one missed game -- 2017 Week 5).
vs Colts: 2-3-0 (no missed contests).
Advantage: Texans.  I am so looking forward to Watson / Mahomes III this fall.  I also am thankful I should never again have to miss a game in my adopted former (future?) home state.  #texasforever

So, in a stunner to noone, we're tied 2-2-2, entering the final Question of Greatest Significance.  I suspect neither the answer -- nor the question -- will come as even a minor shock, to any of y'all that know me in even a minor fashion.

Question Seven: I'd Move There Yesterday If I Could.

at Texans: oh hell yes!
vs Colts: oh hell no!
Advantage -- and winner: at Texans!

Thanks for playing everyone!  Back to the Chiefs Bracketology, now that the biggest upset of said Chiefs Bracketology, has just gone down and played out.

* 4 vs "Super" Chargers Week 1 2016 over 12 vs Texans Week 7 2013.  Since I really have nothing to say, let's move on and save a couple electronic trees in Word, shall we?

* 3 vs Jets Week 3 2016 over 6 vs Bengals Week 7 2018.  No matter who wins this, they'll be the least likely team to advance out of this regional, to wherever the hell we're staging the Final Four at.

* 2 vs Ravens Week 14 2018 over 10 at Patriots Week 1 2017.  I just can't bring myself to let Kareem Hunt advance.  The devastation his Week 13 2018 suspension caused team tito is just too damned painful to recall.  Still too soon.  #fantasyproblems  Plus, I started my new job (the one I currently have), the day before that Thursday Night opener in 2017.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to stay sober in a tight game, knowing your every move the next day is going to be judged?  Trust me, it wasn't fun.

(Of course, had I known about my boss and my reports then, what I know now?  I'd have called in "sick" and been fine.  Oh well.  As The Byrds would note: "I was so much older then; I'm younger than that now!")

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And so, after Day One, here is how the left side of Chiefs Bracketology (The Race to Crown My Favorite Game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era) stands:

In the raiders / those people Regional, your surviving seeds are the one, two, four, and six.  In the Potpourri Regional, your surviving seeds are the two, three, four, and eight.

And in the Sweet Sixteen, I can assure you, there are two matchups (of the four) that is going to require a lot of soul-searching, brain-employing, and heartstring-tugs to figure out the winner of.  The 2/6 in the raiders / those people Regional, and the 8/4 in the Potpourri Regional.  (The other two matchups, I'm pretty sure I know which game meant more to me, and will survive and advance.)

We'll pick back up with these matchups on Thursday.

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Because coming tomorrow, we delve into the right side of Chiefs Bracketology, which on the dawn of its' beginning, looks like this:

And good God above, is the All AFC Regional loaded!  I can make a case for any of the first five seeds in that regional to win it based on common sense.  I can make a case for the sixth seed based on what that game means to me personally.  And when a division clinching victory is only the ten seed?  That is one ... hang on, I haven't hauled this one out in a while.  (bunch voice) Dude!  That's stacked!

(As for the All NFC Regional -- let's just be honest here.  The only drama is who is losing to Super Bowl LIV in the Regional Final.  This thing is more lopsided than seeing late 1980s UNLV, early 1990s Michigan, and pick a decade of Duke, on top of your region.  You're playing for second place before the damned games tip off.)

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Until next time, be safe, and if (like me) you live in Missouri, I hope you exercised your right to vote today.  I proudly cast my vote for former Vice President Biden, although I was hoping Mayor Buttigieg would hang in long enough to make a vote for him matter.  Oh well.  Such is life as a member of an insane asylum masquerading as a credible political party ...

the bracket is unveiled

"I'll never settle down;
That's what I always thought.
Yeah, I was that kind of man;
Just ask anyone.

'Cause I don't dance.
Yet here I am.
Spinning you 'round and 'round
In circles.

It ain't my style,
But I don't care!
I'd do anything
With you anywhere!

Yes, you've got me
By the palm of my hand --
'Cause I don't dance ..."

-- "I Don't Dance" by Lee Brice.

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Like I noted in the two prior posts that revealed the Field of 68 to determine what my favorite Chiefs game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era is, creating the bracket is the hardest part of this job.

Figuring out where to seed teams and games, how to manipulate this into the outcome I want / hope for, coming up with creative matchups that will make you think about what this post is trying to resolve ... it ain't easy being me.

(Trust me -- I tried to do this once before, via TV Theme Songs.  You'd have thought I'd have exposed you to the Corona Virus, the hatred for who I had winning some of those matchups, was that intense.)

Having said that ... let's unveil the bracket, (worst tv show of all time * theme song voice) one day at a time.  No wait -- I mean, (whitney houston voice) all at once.

The four bracket regions are:

* All raiders and those people.  All games in this regional involve contests against the raiders or those people.

* All NFC contests.  All games in this regional involve contests against the NFC.

* All AFC contests.  All games in this regional involve contests against the AFC, that don't involve the raiders or those people.

* Potpourri ** .  The remaining contestants in the field.  This regional can involve any squad that qualified for the field, but wasn't selected for said other regional(s) for whatever reason(s).

Also, in terms of seeding this thing, we're going to try to employ an S-Curve, and draft by strength of regional.  For purposes of the S-Curve, we'll rank the four regionals in order as they appear above -- all raiders / those people rank 1st, All NFC ranks 2nd, All AFC ranks 3rd, and Potpourri ranks 4th.

(Which means your two seeds go Potpourri, All AFC, All NFC, then all raiders / those people, (aaliyah voice) then back, back, and forth, forth (alright!).)

Ready?  Because I am so, so ready to do this ...

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(*: as noted many times before, the reboot of "One Day At a Time" is absolutely phenomenal.  Looking forward to Season Four on Pop! Network as soon as it hits the air in two weeks.)

(**: I thought about choosing Le Tits Now! or Whore Ads! ... but "SNL" already perfected those "regional" names.)

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The S-Curve.

(1) Seeds: at those people, Week Four 2018; vs 49ers, Super Bowl LIV 2019; vs Titans, AFC Championship 2019; vs Colts, Divisional Round 2018.

(2) Seeds: vs Ravens, Week Fourteen 2018; vs Texans, AFC Divisional Round 2019; vs Cowboys, Week Two 2013; vs raiders, Week Seventeen 2015.

(3) Seeds: vs those people, Week Sixteen 2016; at Eagles, Week Three 2013; vs Steelers, Week Seven 2015; vs Jets, Week Three 2016.

(4) Seeds: vs "Super" Chargers, Week One 2016; at Jaguars Week One 2013; at "Shane" Falcons, Week Thirteen 2016; vs raiders, Week Fourteen 2016.

(5) Seeds: vs raiders, Week Six 2013; at Bears, Week Sixteen 2019; vs Patriots, Week Four 2014; at Steelers Week Two 2018.

(6) Seeds: vs Bengals, Week Seven 2018; at Bills, Week Nine 2013; vs Lions, Week Eight 2015; vs those people Week Fifteen 2019.

(7) Seeds: at those people, Week Ten 2015; at Panthers, Week Ten 2016; vs Ravens, Week Three 2019; at "Super" Chargers, Week Seventeen 2016.

(8) Seeds: at Texans, Wild Card Playoff 2015; at Colts, Week Eight 2016; vs Vikings, Week Nine 2019; at raiders Week 13 2015.

(9) Seeds: at those people, Week Twelve 2016; vs Seahawks, Week Eleven 2014; at Texans, Week Five 2017; vs Saints, Week Seven 2016.

(10) Seeds: at Patriots, Week One 2017; vs Dolphins, Week Sixteen 2017; at Redskins, Week Fourteen 2013; at raiders, Week Two 2019.

(11) Seeds: vs raiders, Week Fourteen 2017; vs Giants, Week Four 2013; vs Jaguars, Week Five 2018; vs Browns, Week Sixteen 2015.

(12) Seeds: vs Texans, Week Seven 2013; at Patriots, Week Fourteen 2019; vs "Super" Cardinals, Week Ten 2018; at those people, Week Seventeen 2017.

(13) Seeds: at those people, Week Seven 2019; vs Eagles, Week Two 2017, at Dolphins, Week Three 2014; vs 49ers, Week Three 2018.

(14) Seeds: vs "Super" Chargers, Week Fifteen 2017; at Titans, Week Ten 2019; at Cowboys, Week Nine 2017; at raiders, Week Fifteen 2013.

(15) Seeds: vs those people, Week Eight 2017; at Rams, Week Twelve 2018; at Patriots, Week Six 2018; vs Packers, Week Eight 2019.

(16) Seeds (all featuring play-in / first four matchups):

* raiders / those people Regional: vs raiders, Week Thirteen 2019 against at those people, Week Eleven 2013.

* NFC Regional: vs Buccaneers, Week Eleven 2016 against vs Redskins, Week Four 2017.

* AFC Regional: at Colts, Wild Card 2013 against at Texans, Week One 2015.

* Potpourri Regional: vs Texans, Week Six 2019 against vs Patriots, AFC Championship 2018.

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Which gives you a bracket that looks like this:

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The Bracket Breakdown by Team Bids.

* One Bid Teams (16): Atlanta "Shane" Falcons, Arizona "Super" Cardinals, Buffalo Bills, Carolina Panthers, Chicago Bears, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, Los Angeles Rams, Minnesota Vikings, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, New York Jets, Seattle Seahawks, Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

* Two Bid Teams (9): Baltimore Ravens, Dallas Cowboys, Jacksonville Jaguars, Miami Dolphins, Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Steelers, San Francisco 49ers, Tennessee Titans, Washington Redskins.

* Three Bid Teams (2): Indianapolis Colts, Los Angeles "Super" Chargers.

* Four Plus Bid Teams (4): those people (9), Houston Texans (6), las vegas raiders (8), New England Patriots (5).

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The Bracket Breakdown by Season.

* 2013 (11/17: 64.7%): at Jaguars Week One, vs Cowboys Week Two, at Eagles Week Three, vs Giants Week Four, vs raiders Week Six, vs Texans Week Seven, at Bills Week Nine, at those people Week Eleven, at Redskins Week Fourteen, at raiders Week Fifteen, at Colts Wild Card Playoff.

* 2014 (3/16: 18.8%): at Dolphins Week Three, vs Patriots Week Four, vs Seahawks Week Eleven.

* 2015 (8/18: 44.4%): at Texans Week One, vs Steelers Week Seven, vs Lions Week Eight, at those people Week Ten, at raiders Week Thirteen, vs Browns Week Sixteen, vs raiders Week Seventeen, at Texans Wild Card Playoff.

* 2016 (11/17: 64.7%): vs "Super" Chargers Week One, vs Jets Week Three, vs Saints Week Seven, at Colts Week Eight, at Panthers Week Ten, vs Bucs Week Eleven, at those people Week Twelve, at "Shane" Falcons Week Thirteen, vs raiders Week Fourteen, vs those people Week Sixteen, at "Super" Chargers Week Seventeen.

* 2017 (10/17: 58.8%): at Patriots Week One, vs Eagles Week Two, vs Redskins Week Four, at Texans Week Five, vs those people Week Eight, at Cowboys Week Nine, vs raiders Week Fourteen, vs "Super" Chargers Week Fifteen, vs Dolphins Week Sixteen, at those people Week Seventeen.

* 2018 (11/18: 61.1%): at Steelers Week Two, vs 49ers Week Three, at those people Week Four, vs Jaguars Week Five, at Patriots Week Six, vs Bengals Week Seven, vs "Super" Cardinals Week Ten, at Rams Week Eleven, vs Ravens Week Fourteen, vs Colts Divisional Playoff, vs Patriots AFC Championship.

* 2019 (14/19: 73.7%): at raiders Week Two, vs Ravens Week Three, vs Texans Week Six, at those people Week Seven, vs Packers Week Eight, vs Vikings Week Nine, at Titans Week Ten, vs raiders Week Thirteen, at Patriots Week Fourteen, vs those people Week Fifteen, at Bears Week Sixteen, vs Texans Divisional Playoff, vs Titans AFC Championship, vs 49ers Super Bowl LIV.

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The First Four Left Out.

* 2015: vs Bills Week Twelve.
* 2016: at raiders Week Six.
* 2018: at "Super" Chargers, Week One.
* 2019: at "Super" Chargers, Week Eleven (Mexico).

The Next Four Left Out:

* 2014: vs raiders Week Fifteen.
* 2015: at "Super" Chargers, Week Eleven.
* 2016: vs Steelers Divisional Playoff.
* 2018: vs those people Week Eight.

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The Forty Six Not Considered for Bracketing.

* 2013 (6/17: 35.3%): at Titans Week Five, vs Browns Week Eight, vs "Super" Chargers Week Twelve, vs those people Week Thirteen, vs Colts Week Sixteen, at "Super" Chargers Week Seventeen.

* 2014 (12/16: 75.0%): vs Titans Week One, at those people Week Two, at 49ers Week Five, at "Super" Chargers Week Seven, vs Rams Week Eight, vs Jets Week Nine, at Bills Week Ten, at raiders Week Twelve, vs those people Week Thirteen, at "Super" Cardinals Week Fourteen, at Steelers Week Sixteen, vs "Super" Chargers Week Seventeen.

* 2015 (8/18: 44.4%): vs those people Week Two, at Packers Week Three, at Bengals Week Four, vs Bears Week Five, at Vikings Week Six, vs "Super" Chargers Week Fourteen, at Ravens Week Fifteen, at Patriots, Divisional Playoff.

* 2016 (4/17: 23.5%): at Texans Week Two, at Steelers Week Four, vs Jaguars Week Nine, vs Titans Week Fifteen.

* 2017 (7/17: 41.2%): at "Super" Chargers Week Three, vs Steelers Week Six, at raiders Week Seven, at Giants Week Eleven, vs Bills Week Twelve, at Jets Week Thirteen, vs Titans Wild Card Playoff.

* 2018 (5/18: 27.8%): at Browns Week Nine, at raiders Week Thirteen, vs "Super" Chargers Week Fifteen, at Seahawks Week Sixteen, vs raiders Week Seventeen.

* 2019 (4/19: 21.1%): at Jaguars Week One, at Lions Week Four, vs Colts Week Five, vs "Super" Chargers Week Seventeen.

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And so, as noted above, The Bracket is set.  Tomorrow we start running this thing.  And I suppose this is where I note, I don't have a pick to win.  This isn't going to be completely biased.  I mean, the TV Theme Song tourney from seven years ago, I knew it would be "Cheers" against "Hill Street Blues" in the final.  I wasn't sure who would win ... but I knew the final before the exercise began.

That is not the case, with this tournament.  There are easily ten, eleven, twelve "teams" that can win this thing.  There are easily three, four "squads" in each region, that I could see winning said region.  It's figuring out which one most deserves the crown of "favorite", that's gonna be fun to play out.

I am sure some of you will disagree with some of my at-large, if not automatic, selections.  (Note, in the case of the Saints, "Shane" Falcons, Panthers, and Buccaneers, there was no choice but to make them automatic qualifiers, as the Chiefs have faced those four squads only once in the "Fat" Andy Reid Era.  And in every other NFC squad's pick, I only have two games to choose from, so the auto-bid was pretty much a given with most of them (aka "if the Chiefs won one of the two, that's your auto-bid").

Even I, in looking back, can see some head-scratching non-selections.  (I'm looking at you, 2019 Week One at Jaguars.)  But I do think that by and large, I got the field right.  I think I got at least 65/68 correct, for who should be in this thing, to determine my favorite game of the "Fat" Andy Reid Era.

And again -- this isn't a (coach fambrough voice) showdown, throwdown, hoedown, to determine the best game.  That's already been decided -- Super Bowl LIV, and you're a f*cking idiot if you claim any other game, as the best.

But favorite?  Doesn't have to be the best.  That's what makes this fun (at least for me).  A game that means a hell of a lot to me -- like Christmas Night 2016 -- might not mean sh*t to you.  A game you hold sacred and close to the heart -- like Week Five 2013 -- may have very negative context for me, and not only won't get out of the first round, it never came close to sniffing the field through any means or ways into said field.

So we start this bastardo tomorrow with the First Four contests, and the Round of 64 matchups.  Possibly through to narrow this down to the Sweet Sixteen by Wednesday, if I'm feeling ambitious.

But until then, in case you think I just pulled this idea and concept out of my hairless white ass ... well, (billy joel voice) you may be right, I may be crazy, and I may just be the lunatic you're looking for, because here are my notes, on trying to figure this thing out:

(u2 voice) Hold me, thrill me, kiss me, kill me, one thing nobody can deny about me: you can't read my handwriting by page three -- four at the latest -- of me, uuh, writing something, to save your collective asses.  Chicken scratches are more readable than my scribbled notes by page four.  Image credit: me, via the iPhone 11 something.))

And hey -- until tomorrow, as Sergeant Platt should take to noting on every episode of "Chicago PD", if only respect for the greatness that preceded her a show and four decades ago: "hey!  Let's be careful out there!" ...