the (not quite) sotu ... live blog

To review the ground rules from other live blogs on this site involving politics (which are all still posted for your amusement):

1. I did not back Barry at any point. I backed Hillary in the primary, McCain in the general. So if you're an Obama fanatic, well, deal with it.

2. I am logged into Yahoo! IM as teamtito15 if you want to participate. Or you can post in the comments section.

3. Tonight's adult beverage of choice to soldier through this is Yellowtail Shiraz. Yellowtail Shiraz: a beverage Bill Williams and I have enjoyed many a bottle of at the pool ...

and we're back after a slight delay due to a phone call.

I'm watching on OMSNBC. Can't wait to see what Chris Matthews feels up his leg tonight.

The Supreme Court taking its place. Ginsburg looks pretty decent for having pancreatic cancer.

Seeing Biden up there as 2nd in command ... puts a huge smile on my face. Wonder what he calls Pelosi first: doll, broad, or toots?

Olbermann, Maddow, and Matthews on OMSNBC. The verbal fellating of this administration is literally making me drink. Look it, I didn't like Bush any more than these people did, but for God's sake, have at least an ounce of objectivity.

Madame Speaker, the President's Cabinet! Hooray! Hillary looks amazing tonight, red suit coat, black shirt. Remind me again why we tossed experience and competence aside for what Obama is?

The Asian dude in the cabinet looks like Uncle Benny. Fied Rice! Fied Rice!

Olbermann just used the phrase "Jimmy Cartering the economy". Uuh, Keith, you might not want to admit that on the air.

Matthews looks blitzed. Oh wait, that might just be my perception. I did bowl tonight for some practice. Lost game one to Dusty by 110. Won game two by 8. Won game 3 on a miracle hambone in 9/10 to win by 3. Lost game four by 10. And with the $1 games at Laurel Lanes on the line ... promptly pulled a Steve, and choked away any shot at victory. Yay?

Maddow: "Everybody has heard how bad the economy is". ya think?

Barry in the background.

Madame Speaker! The President of the United States!

(Hooray!)

Even I can applaud the President. Even if I have my doubts.

(steve applauding in the computer room ...)

(still applauding ...)

Black suit, red tie. Solid choice. He looks good.

Although I agree with Rush: how funny would it be if the teleprompter failed like Clinton in the 94 SOTU? Clinton could think on his feet. Barry can't.

I actually agree with Olbermann, let this moment set in. For the first time EVER, an African American will address Congress as the leader of the free world. This is beyond historic. Allow me to stand and clap again for awhile.

(steve applauding in the computer room ...)

(still applauding ...)

Wow, Barbara Boxer with the friendly back rub on Barry.

Another wow, Barry and Hillary embrace and share a friendly kiss ... and NEITHER one looks in the other's eyes.

Class move by both Barry and Justice Thomas to share a warm handshake.

Another class move by Barry to share a moment with Justice Ginsburg.

Wait, the guy I accused of being a mafia hit guy for taking out the Clintons, I just said showed class? I need another glass (of shiraz ...)

Yes, this is a high privilege and distinct honor. Let me stand and applaud again.

Biden just said "knock 'em dead champ!"

Nice shoutout to the wife.

She looks amazing tonight too. I know I'm in the minority, but I totally dig Michelle. Her confidence is such a turn on.

Biden isn't paying attention already.

Yank the plug on the teleprompter! Let's see him think on the fly!

Biden STILL isn't paying attention.

Great line. No matter how down we get, this is still America. We will emerge from this. (Hopefully not as socialistic as France though).

Biden STILL can't focus. Good God, this guy is more out of it than me in the 4th quarter of a Chiefs loss to denver.

What happened to the pearls Pelosi rocked at the Convention?

We import more oil than ever before because my effing party won't allow us to drill!

Chris Dodd looks 5 cocktails in.

People bought homes they knew they couldn't afford from banks that knew they couldn't afford them. Ya think?

Now is the time to act boldly and wisely. Ya think?

I hate "Dingy" Harry Reid.

How can you create jobs when you tax small business out of existance?

The stimulus is a joke, sir. Its a mother (effing) joke.

You DON'T BELIEVE IN BIG GOVERNMENT? Jesus Christ, that's the biggest lie a President has ever told!

Save or create? What does it matter? Why save a job that's outdated and a waste of space?

Great, we saved 57 cops jobs with the stimulus. I'm sure Jasson is sleeping soundly.

Steve just screamed at the TV for the first time. Tax cut my mother f*cking ass.

The McCain voter track on OMSNBC just flatlined. Kind of like his campaign after Sarah Palin stopped speaking at the convention.

Biden leading a tough oversight effort. Even the chamber is laughing hysterically.

Hell, even Biden is laughing.

Why wasn't recovery.gov up and running for the effing stimulus bill?!?!

Agreed, we have to resume lending. Agreed, the flow of credit IS the lifeblood of the economy. Not agreed, how he's speaking to the lowest common denominator here. Who DOESN'T know that credit is the lifeblood of the economy? (Answer: your typical Obama voter).

Like I said on the way home, Obama is what happens when you let Mickey and his family determine an election. I love ya buddy, but you and your family, you're retarded when it comes to politics.

Long applause. Time for a refill.

WHAT lower interest rates? And why are we helping the losers of life with their mortgage?

The FDIC already acts with the full force of the federal government to secure my deposits.

If what he's saying ISN'T nationalization of the banks, I don't understand economics.

Why did the Republicans stand on that line? This is socialism, pure and simple! BOO THIS MAN ALREADY!

What's wrong with a private jet? They're paid for 3 years in advance!

Lieberman looks ... uncomfortable.

Steve screaming at the TV again. This TV might not make it through this speech.

"Yield to the politics of the moment". That's EXACTLY what we did when we nominated you sir!

I'm pretty sure Dusty just laughed at me in the next room at me slamming the television with multiple hats. WALL STREET DRIVES AMERICA SIR! How can ANYONE not understand that who has a 2nd grade education?!?!

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS AN OPEN ENDED RECESSION! Christ Jesus, this man is dumber than Priest!

Here we go. The budget submisssion.

The trillion dollar tax hike.

He's actually making some sense in that government can play a role in recovery. The key is, PLAY a role, not be the rolemaker.

Yeah, government created the conditions for enterprise to thrive by CUTTING TAXES! Christ, are you really this dumb sir? Are you really this mentally retarded? That you can't see this?

Again, WHY ARE THE REPUBLICANS APPLAUDING THIS?

Energy. The party that has f*cked us with a stick up the ass, is now lecturing us on energy. Wonderful. Please, let me drop my shorts, grab my ankles, and assume the position for this portion of his speech ...

How can America lead again on energy when YOU WON'T LET US DRILL? Drill Now! Drill Now! Drill Now!

What good is renewable energy for TODAY? Your plan can't focus solely on the future sir. What good is a future if there is no hope for the present?

How can ANYTHING you propose be profitable? You're just going to tax it out of existance anyways.

Biden's glass of "water", I swear, has a yellowish tingle to it. "Vo and water" perhaps?

Why shouldn't we protect the Big 3 from their bad practices? We're doing it for loser homeowners aren't we?

Again, tell me Biden's glass of water is just "water".

No, THE major reason small businesses close their doors is because we have the highest corporate tax rate on the planet by 7%! And now you want to mandate health coverage on people that can't afford it? You're a f*cking idiot sir. A f*cking idiot.

Dusty applauding my latest diatribe against the TV. Hooray?

You smoke! Of course you've had cancer! Christ, that's like saying my liver is going to fail in the next 15 years.

We wouldn't be in this health care mess if we'd adopted Hillarycare in 94. Even the great Gordon wasn't that upset with Hillarycare back in the day. I remember that, because my term paper junior year, I interviewed him on why Hillarycare was a good idea.

And with that line, "health care will not wait another year", you can kiss the best health care in the world goodbye.

No, the most valuable skill you can sell isn't knowledge it's ... uuh ... ok, well, I refuse to go further for risk of incriminating myself, but knowledge isn't the greatest "skill" you can sell ...

Every child ALREADY HAS ACCESS TO THE GREATEST EDUCATION IMAGINABLE! Its called public education! And it costs you nothing other than what you pay in taxes!

Just say "No Child Left Behind is No More", and you've won me over.

What good does "one year" of higher ed do you?

GREAT LINE! "Quitting on your high school education is not quitting on yourself, it is quitting on your country". GREAT LINE! Hooray!

I completely agree with this proposal: give back to the community, the city, we guarantee you an affordable higher education. Amen! Pass the Kennedy/Hatch education plan!

Amen! Turn off the video game and READ to your child!

Amen! Responsibility for your child's education must begin at home! And that is NOT a partisan issue!

Great moment there. "See I knew we could find some consensus in here!" He does have a sense of humor. I'll be damned.

A recovery plan free of earmarks? Cracked.

Just say it: give me the line item veto amendment already! Even the Confederacy had the foresight to write that into their Constitution.

The "billions" wasted in Iraq are not dollars sir, they are cells. As in human cells. Representing life. But then again, we're the party of abortion on demand so hey, what does life matter?

And AMEN! No tax breaks for shipping jobs overseas! Long overdue!

He's so lying through his teeth! The recovery plan's tax cut just got taken back by repealing the Bush tax cuts!

The wealthiest 2% pay 76% of the taxes in this country, by the way, via irs.gov data. So yeah, let's put MORE of a burden on them. Because clearly, the other 98% of us are paying our fair share.

You already ALLOW TERRORISTS TO PLOT AGAINST US! YOU'RE NEGOTIATING WITH IRAN!

No we're not united! The Democrats have pissed and defacated on troops sacrifice every day since 9/11! Yes, I said pissed and defecated! Its reality!

I literally want to throw my glass of shiraz on this man. He's lied more in 60 minutes than Bill Clinton did in 60 months. And pick the 60 months.

How is closing Gitmo a good thing?

I literally just puked. Torturing those whose bottom line is your death is NOT a bad thing. The USA SHOULD torture those who wish us death. You CANNOT negotiate with those whose base line negotiation is your death.

Its the G8! Not the G20! Good God, he doesn't even know the G!

"Watching. Waiting." But I'm no puppeteer, Kevin ... the opening line(s) to my favorite scene from my favorite movie, "The Devil's Advocate". Ooh. Call me dad.

Great, we highlight a kook who gave away $60 million he earned. Good God, are we still in America?

Greensburg, Texas. Try again, Barry.

What the hell! Barry's daughters aren't there but some SC school girl is? Next to the First Lady? This is pathetic.

You ARE quitters! If you are ASKING YOUR GOVERNMENT FOR HELP, YOU ARE A MOTHER F*CKING QUITTER!

Yes, I want this country to succeed. Its just that we have NO F*CKING CHANCE of that happening with you in the White House! Sir.

The McCain voters line no longer appear on OMSNBC.

And that's it. 65 some odd minutes. I literally want to puke. The country that I knew and loved at this time last year, is no more. I just ... please, Mr. President. Don't tax my booze. Its all I have to get through your remaining 3 years, 10 months, and 27 days ...